This Childhood of Mine: A Memoir of My Last Summer with My Mentally Ill Mother and Alcoholic Father

by Laura Meer Barkley

A chilling true story of a ten-year-old girl struggling to survive in a dysfunctional family in Russia.

The sweet-natured Laura Meer dreams of a superhero and spends days trying to provide for herself while being half-neglected by her parents, who couldn’t take good care even of themselves. Her father constantly tries to kill her mother, and the police refuse to help.

Developing faith in God is Laura’s only strength. But will she be able to protect her mother?

Hauntingly beautiful, This Childhood of Mine is more than a tale of survival, resilience, and unconditional love—it’s a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to heal. The memoir will resonate with anyone who has experienced adversity, reminding readers that even in the darkest of times, there’s hope.

Genres: Memoir

291 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 7, 2024

About the author

Laura Meer Barkley is the author of This Childhood of Mine: A Memoir of My Last Summer with My Mentally Ill Mother and Alcoholic Father.

She’s also a teacher and have been teaching all her adult life. At the age of twenty-two, she opened a dance school, and after traveling the world with her students, she fell in love with English language, became an English-as-a-foreign-language teacher, and immigrated to the US.

Now Laura Meer Barkley resides in Maryland and is getting her master’s degree in Elementary Education at Walden University while doing internship at a local school. She enjoys people and likes socializing. In her free time, she likes to walk in botanical gardens while listening to audiobooks. When at home, she likes to cook, drink black tea, and eat chocolates.

She’s blessed with wonderful daughter Amina, husband Timothy, and two feisty Chihuahuas Vincent and Dominic.

Reviews

[Tammy Horvath · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is both chilling and entertaining.
Laura’s upbringing was quite different from mine. I used to believe my overbearing mom and my alcoholic dad were the worst. But then I read about Laura's reality—her parents’ constant neglect created many scars far deeper than anything I experienced. It’s astonishing to see how different our childhoods were, and the trauma Laura faced puts my situation into perspective.
“This Childhood of Mine” captivated me from start to finish. Stopping wasn't an option—I needed to know the ending. Would there be a glimmer of happiness for this lovable child who deserved much better? Maybe with a bit of faith in God, all would work out. If you love gripping survival stories or inspiring stories about healing, this book is a must-read. I’m so glad I read it, and I highly recommend it for those facing adversity or simply for anyone seeking to lose themselves in a powerful true story.

[Sarah Letts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! If I had time I would have devoured this in one day. Laura chronicles the daily life of living with mental illness, alcoholism, poverty, bullying, and domestic violence. It talks about the perception others have when they see people who are different or who have less than them. I wanted the old couple to be in her life forever and I do wish that there was further information on that relationship but I love the triumph she faced. Great job Laura on overcoming any and all obstacles and always leading life with positivity even when it seemed like there was nothing left.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book more than I anticipated. For anyone growing up with mental illness or addiction in their home so much of this book will take you back into that house and in to those precious moments as a child where you carry the burden of the world and still love your Barbie. Sometimes, the writing so vividly captured those moments that I'd have to put the book down to come back to it as it would yank me back in to my own similar childhood.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stark and Strong

I stumbled upon this recommendation and decided I was interested enough to purchase it and the price is reasonable and well worth it. This sweet young lady, Laura Meer Barkley is from Russia and she endured more hardship and tragedy in the relatively brief period covered within the pages of this book than many people do in a lifetime.
Laura's family consisted of her father, Victor, mother Talia, herself and their two dogs Doll and Mickey. They are a family living in poverty, at least some of it under the adults own making. Laura's father is an alcoholic and her mother is mentally ill and though they both clearly love her; she lacks so much of what many here in the U.S. take for granted! She subsists on tea "with lots of sugar" and sometimes "if there is any flour left" she will mix it with sugar and what little they might have on hand and cook "pancakes." She shares a bedroom with her mother and her father sleeps in a different room, also behind a locked door quite often. This is because the parents fight regularly and the arguments become loud and violent with one parent seriously threatening to kill the other and/or chasing each other through the building's corridors as the neighbors gawk and gossip -- or complain. Laura's sleep is fragmented, she wakes and throws on what few pieces of clothing she has, unshowered at times due to the cold, hair not combed, braided or tied with ribbons or put into ponytails like other little girls and she dreads going despite her home life because at school she is bullied and looked down upon by some of the children and at times even the teacher. She is often not well supervised in the traditional sense as she is allowed to stay out later than other children and can even leave and sneak outside during the night. Here, if these things were observed and reported, child and family services would very likely become involved.
Further on, violence occurs as one parent attacks the other and Laura's entire life as she knows it is upended. I am a full grown adult who has survived my own traumas in life but I can't imagine experiencing some of what she did and still remaining sane, and caring! She possesses a maturity level beyond her years in many ways.
Very good book despite the pain and sadness this family endures.

[Julie Haigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent true crime memoir.

This book mixes two of my favourite genres: Memoir and true crime.

This is about the author's childhood, focussing on one summer, when she's ten years old.

I didn't realise there were beaches in Russia.  The family lived very near the beach; the resort of Sochi.  This sounds idyllic-but the reality is far from it: Her father drinks vodka, their living conditions are dirty and neglected, and money is not enough. There are plenty of arguments and violence though.  Terrifying what she must have witnessed.

It builds slowly at first, with everyday details about her childhood life. Hard times, bullies. Her parents' rows and fights. I was expecting something more to happen for quite a while....when it did, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  So unpredictable.  Absolutely shocking.

Wow, I wasn't expecting this. What a story. I have no words, and don't want to give anything away. Just read it.

[Ann Campanella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laura Meer Barkley does an absolutely amazing job of revealing how life unfolds from the perspective of a poor ten-year-old child living in Russia. Moment by moment, with naivete, wonder and shock, we see how she copes with the wild swings of her mother's mental illness and the sudden changes of her father's personality when he drinks. With an intrepid spirit, she faces hunger, abuse, friendship, bullying along with the erratic nature of her parents' care. There was the warmth of her father's attention when he wasn't drinking and the fear of his middle of the night rages when he was. At turns, she tolerated, guided and tried to ignore her mother's flights into insanity and soaked up her care when she was being generous and maternal. My heart was moved by the child Laura and her sincerity and desire to be loved and safe, to be fed and fit in, to have fun and imagine existing with joy in a world that was unsteady at best. This story is so well written, and I highly recommend it.

[Ronald Mackay · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Laura Meer’s case, it wasn’t principally the material and spiritual privations of Soviet communism that denied her, her soul. It was those whose responsibility it is to give a child care, hope, and happiness. A mother and a father. In heartbreaking circumstances that recur over and over at both home and at school, Laura holds her own and clings to an inner strength. She thrives on small kindnesses that others, teachers and neighbors, show her occasionally.

In a brief moment of relief, her mother pays Laura (originally Sacha) a compliment in an effort to demonstrate Laura’s fiancé how proud she is of her daughter: “She was the smartest kid on the planet!” She tells him.

The reader can offer thanks, and believe that she still is!

[Tory Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking Yet Inspiring

Laura’s story is both heartbreaking and inspiring, as she fights to survive in a family that feels anything but safe. It’s hard to imagine a ten year old having to carry so much, neglect, violence, and the constant need to fend for herself. Yet her strength and faith in God pull her through. The way she dreams of superheroes while facing such a harsh reality is both gut wrenching and beautiful. This memoir isn’t just about surviving but also about finding hope and healing in the darkest times. It’s a raw and honest reminder of how strong the human spirit can be.

[Linda Foster · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really sad and raw account of Laura’s life at the age of ten. It’s very traumatic. She lived with her mother and father, until she didn’t. Her mother had mental illness, and her father was an alcoholic. Home was not a happy place for Laura. Away from home she was bullied. Thankfully she realised she would never be alone, even without her parents, as she had God.
Laura narrates the audio herself, it’s full of emotion.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to an audiobook narrated by Laura herself. The book seemed very emotional and pretty chaotic to me. That's probably natural, though, as the little heroine's life was extremely tangled and disorganized. The story has been adapted for an English-speaking audience, which is perfectly fine. The storytelling is definitely influenced by American survivors' memoirs. I wonder what this book would sound like if it were adapted and translated for Russian readers.

Спасибо, Лора!

[Lisa Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the sort of memoir which makes one glad to have had a normal family. A drunken abusive father, a mentally ill mother, a young girl left to pretty much fend for herself in 1990s Sochi, the Black Sea Riviera of Russia.
And yet… in amongst the sadness, there is also a full life of friendships, camaraderie, and kindnesses to others who have no more than you.
It’s a beautifully written memoir, with more than a few shocks in store.
Highly recommended.

[Kayla Lister · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story was so very touching and for that reason I want to give it a higher rating, but it sort of fell flat in parts for me. I’m not sure if it was the cultural differences that created a sort of barrier to the tone the book was trying to achieve. I also really expected to have a meet the author at the end or an explanation of how she’s doing now.

[Paula Rooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

A memoir of a ten year old girl whose parents loved her but perhaps didn't have the skills to be parents. You can't help but turn each page as you are emotionally linked to this young girl who has huge survival skills. I really enjoyed it.

[Marilyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow. Laura's memoir, "Childhood of Mine," is a tough but ultimately inspiring read. My heart ached for young Laura, navigating a childhood with a mom struggling with mental illness and a dad whose love for alcohol seemed to outweigh everything else. The neglect she faced – the lack of basic needs and safety – was truly heartbreaking.

Despite the sadness, Laura's courage shines through. Her resilience in the face of such difficult circumstances is incredible. This book reminds you that even when life throws the absolute worst at you, it doesn't have to define your future. Laura's ability to find a glimmer of positivity even in the darkness is a powerful lesson.

While my heart broke for the child who deserved so much more from her parents, the ending left me with a sense of hope. Laura's determination not to let her past hold her back is truly moving. If you're looking for a raw, honest story of survival and the strength of the human spirit, "Childhood of Mine" is a must-read. Be prepared for some tough moments, but Laura's journey is ultimately uplifting.

[Kaylee · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was eye opening to hear about Laura's time growing up as a child in poverty with an abusive and neglectful family. In the midst of awful circumstances, Laura still maintained her playfulness and joy as a child. Even though with my outside perspective, I knew when certain people weren't making the right choices for her, her way of writing about how she felt about them made me understand and even feel the same compassion she had for them. I genuinely smiled with her as she played with her neighborhood friends and was shocked and appalled thinking about how some adults treated her with malice and evil.

Her story is laced with hope, struggle, perseverance, and love. I think that it is a valuable look into a different life that many people should take the time to read. I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you, Laura, for sharing your story with us. It was a blessing for me to experience.