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Retired Assassin's Guide #1
The Retired Assassin's Guide to Country Gardening
Dante has come to the small coastal town of Te Kohe, New Zealand, for a fresh start in life. But he doesn't want to open a BnB, or save a charming bookshop, or start a romance with a single mother in need of rescuing.
He just wants to forget about his past career (which involved a lot of dead bodies) and have everyone leave him the heck alone. Unfortunately for Dante, life has other plans...
He just wants to forget about his past career (which involved a lot of dead bodies) and have everyone leave him the heck alone. Unfortunately for Dante, life has other plans...
390 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 25, 2025
1346 people are currently reading
2271 people want to read
About the author
Naomi Kuttner
15 books70 followersNaomi Kuttner writes urban fantasy and cozy mysteries.
Living in New Zealand, Naomi spends her free time (ha!) raising her twin son and daughter, writing, taking the dog to the beach, and getting out on the water whenever possible.
Living in New Zealand, Naomi spends her free time (ha!) raising her twin son and daughter, writing, taking the dog to the beach, and getting out on the water whenever possible.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 370 reviews
May 11, 2025
When I saw a review for this book, before I read anything but the title I knew I was acquiring the book and reading it forthwith. And I did, I downloaded and finished it within 24 hours. I absolutely loved it.
Kuttner could have gone fully into Assassin mode, Jason Bourne with a gardening apron and people would have likely accepted that but it wouldn't have been a cozy mystery anymore. Instead she writes a nuanced, charming, fish-out-of-water story about an Assassin that is in recovery from being a killer. Add to that ghosts, and they aren’t the ghosts of the assassin’s victims, and done in an interesting way.
The mystery was well put together. You won’t guess the final outcome from the start. It builds nicely throughout, adding clues and having the reader be along for the ride.
It’s a good mystery, well written, well paced. An enjoyable read.
Kuttner could have gone fully into Assassin mode, Jason Bourne with a gardening apron and people would have likely accepted that but it wouldn't have been a cozy mystery anymore. Instead she writes a nuanced, charming, fish-out-of-water story about an Assassin that is in recovery from being a killer. Add to that ghosts, and they aren’t the ghosts of the assassin’s victims, and done in an interesting way.
The mystery was well put together. You won’t guess the final outcome from the start. It builds nicely throughout, adding clues and having the reader be along for the ride.
It’s a good mystery, well written, well paced. An enjoyable read.
May 13, 2025
Not much about gardening...
I'm not sure what would be a better title for this book, but the story definitely was not what I was expecting. Echoes of Grosse Pointe Blank were there, but otherwise this is more of a small town sleuth story told from the perspective of 3 unlikely friends. Terrific characters, small town New Zealand life and a mystery that kept me guessing. Really worthwhile read.
I'm not sure what would be a better title for this book, but the story definitely was not what I was expecting. Echoes of Grosse Pointe Blank were there, but otherwise this is more of a small town sleuth story told from the perspective of 3 unlikely friends. Terrific characters, small town New Zealand life and a mystery that kept me guessing. Really worthwhile read.
January 26, 2025
I quite enjoyed this. The story flows well, and following Dante's adjustment to living in "normal" society after returing is quite amusing. Eleanor is an endearing take charge charater, and I appreciate her sneakiness. This is a sweet murder mystery set in New Zealand, and has vivid descriptions of the local flora.
June 13, 2025
In the end I enjoyed the book, but it was rather a chore to read. Seemed to go on and on and on. I was reading it for a purpose or I'd have DNFed.
The characters were quirky and interesting, but I hate a narrative with multiple POVs, and the focus wasn't on the assassin, as promised, or even the gardener; I'd argue Eleanor was the true main character, which is unfortunate because I found her pretty annoying. She didn't act her age, she was pushy, manipulative, arrogant, and narcissistic (very like the villain, actually), and her general purpose was ex machina: she inexplicably knew facts about people and circumstances and of course had helpful contacts from her own shady past. The story couldn't have happened without her, she propelled it, yet we know absolutely nothing about her except that she's 60 years old and a former art thief? Or forger? It was vague. I couldn't even appreciate her fledgling romance with the inspector; they were both such unlikable people that the idea of a romance between them was cringy.
Dante and his adjustment to civilian life (resisting the urge to kill people, lol) was entertaining, and I appreciated his dry humor, but I don't understand why he was written as if he was an emotionless/lifeless robot programmed only to kill and magically became a sentient human once he retired. He was a government agent, not an automaton. There's no reason he couldn't have had experiences in relationships and animals and plants and food, for god's sake. He might not have had much chance to explore those things, but it was an odd choice to act like life itself was a completely foreign concept to him. Like he was born 39 years old.
I also didn't care for the little chapter epigraphs that hinted at/summarized what the chapter was about. Quit teasing and get on with it.
I wanted more ghosts. We don't really see much of them until the last third/quarter.
And some romance would have been nice. One that didn't make me cringe.
So the book was good but far from great. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say it was an intriguing concept with questionable execution. That said, I did appreciate its efforts to be quirky and different.
The characters were quirky and interesting, but I hate a narrative with multiple POVs, and the focus wasn't on the assassin, as promised, or even the gardener; I'd argue Eleanor was the true main character, which is unfortunate because I found her pretty annoying. She didn't act her age, she was pushy, manipulative, arrogant, and narcissistic (very like the villain, actually), and her general purpose was ex machina: she inexplicably knew facts about people and circumstances and of course had helpful contacts from her own shady past. The story couldn't have happened without her, she propelled it, yet we know absolutely nothing about her except that she's 60 years old and a former art thief? Or forger? It was vague. I couldn't even appreciate her fledgling romance with the inspector; they were both such unlikable people that the idea of a romance between them was cringy.
Dante and his adjustment to civilian life (resisting the urge to kill people, lol) was entertaining, and I appreciated his dry humor, but I don't understand why he was written as if he was an emotionless/lifeless robot programmed only to kill and magically became a sentient human once he retired. He was a government agent, not an automaton. There's no reason he couldn't have had experiences in relationships and animals and plants and food, for god's sake. He might not have had much chance to explore those things, but it was an odd choice to act like life itself was a completely foreign concept to him. Like he was born 39 years old.
I also didn't care for the little chapter epigraphs that hinted at/summarized what the chapter was about. Quit teasing and get on with it.
I wanted more ghosts. We don't really see much of them until the last third/quarter.
And some romance would have been nice. One that didn't make me cringe.
So the book was good but far from great. Or perhaps it's more accurate to say it was an intriguing concept with questionable execution. That said, I did appreciate its efforts to be quirky and different.
April 5, 2025
A weird and wonderful book!
I thoroughly enjoyed The Retired Assassin's Guide! The title certainly caught my attention, and the book read beautifully. We got the POV of three main characters, learning enough personality and backstory to engage my empathy. I am about to buy the second book and continue their exploits!
I thoroughly enjoyed The Retired Assassin's Guide! The title certainly caught my attention, and the book read beautifully. We got the POV of three main characters, learning enough personality and backstory to engage my empathy. I am about to buy the second book and continue their exploits!
August 9, 2025
Tres estrellas. De 0 a 10: 6.
Novela simpática, entretenida e ingeniosa.
El trío protagonista son personajes encantadores, con sus cosas...
Aunque desde el principio se sabe el quien, no pierde interés: la novela se centra en intentar probar lo sucedido y que el culpable pague por lo que ha hecho.
Novela simpática, entretenida e ingeniosa.
El trío protagonista son personajes encantadores, con sus cosas...
Aunque desde el principio se sabe el quien, no pierde interés: la novela se centra en intentar probar lo sucedido y que el culpable pague por lo que ha hecho.
March 26, 2025
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐
Plot: ⭐⭐⭐️
Characters: ⭐⭐⭐️
World Building: ⭐⭐⭐
Spice: 🚫
Ending: ⭐⭐⭐⭐️
This is a perfectly cozy mystery. Retired assassin Dante has settled in a small New Zealand town.
When the local harpy is murdered during a town gala very one is stumped.
The local business man Ted, is the shadiest of shady.
Throw in Charlie the gardener and Elinor the helpful socialite to get the full cast of suspects and the quest to solve the murder is on.
For some reason up until about the 50% mark this book was a chore for me to get through. It crawled by. Thankfully the 2nd half was much easier to settle into the story and enjoy. Which I definitely did. The characters are easy to love or hate. There are a few words I wasn’t really familiar with and had to use my kindle dictionary. In doing this I learned that some aren’t listed, so context clues it is. I assume this means they are geographical colloquialisms.
I received an advanced review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Plot: ⭐⭐⭐️
Characters: ⭐⭐⭐️
World Building: ⭐⭐⭐
Spice: 🚫
Ending: ⭐⭐⭐⭐️
This is a perfectly cozy mystery. Retired assassin Dante has settled in a small New Zealand town.
When the local harpy is murdered during a town gala very one is stumped.
The local business man Ted, is the shadiest of shady.
Throw in Charlie the gardener and Elinor the helpful socialite to get the full cast of suspects and the quest to solve the murder is on.
For some reason up until about the 50% mark this book was a chore for me to get through. It crawled by. Thankfully the 2nd half was much easier to settle into the story and enjoy. Which I definitely did. The characters are easy to love or hate. There are a few words I wasn’t really familiar with and had to use my kindle dictionary. In doing this I learned that some aren’t listed, so context clues it is. I assume this means they are geographical colloquialisms.
I received an advanced review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
November 22, 2025
This book was like a cup of tea on a rainy afternoon. Entertaining, nicely plotted, and no emotional angst: it was relaxing and enjoyable.
July 26, 2025
Loved it! Can’t wait to meet up with these characters again in the next book!
June 13, 2025
4.5 ⭐️ I loved this book so much!! Characters were instantly likable, unique, and dynamic. I’m a sucker for a quirky crew of outcasts becoming friends. Enjoyed the pace and unraveling of the mystery as the story progressed. It kept me entertained and I was really satisfied with how it all wrapped up in the end. I’m so looking forward to the sequel!
July 20, 2025
This takes a bit of an everything and the kitchen sink approach to a cozy murder mystery: small town setting in New Zealand! Old lady amateur detective who was once a con artist of some kind! Retired assassin! Young man who can see ghosts! Slightly antagonistic but ultimately indulgent police inspector! It blends all these elements together well enough to make this a fun read. Could use a more thorough edit though.
June 1, 2025
Great writing, good mystery, and I loved the characters and the little found family they formed. Definitely recommend.
October 10, 2025
Tons of fun. If Don from The Rosie Project were a retired assassin and trying to solve a murder along with Elizabeth from The Thursday Murder Club, it might look like this. I stayed up late to finish it and have ordered the next book.
May 10, 2025
I enjoyed this, and it was fun to read and enjoy the New Zealand setting. Main characters were likeable and interesting, so I will be watching for book 2. Villain was impressively evil with a capital E.
Just a few quibbles: Lots of misspellings. And Eleanor is way off for her supposed age. She is supposedly in her 60s, but talks, acts, and dresses much older. I am just a little younger, and can say with conviction that Eleanor acts and 'feels' like my mom and not like a peer. Maybe the author doesn't interact with that age group much? YMMV, of course. I enjoyed it but that did keep throwing me out of the story. Also, I thought NZ was very multicultural? Maybe I skimmed over those cues?
Just a few quibbles: Lots of misspellings. And Eleanor is way off for her supposed age. She is supposedly in her 60s, but talks, acts, and dresses much older. I am just a little younger, and can say with conviction that Eleanor acts and 'feels' like my mom and not like a peer. Maybe the author doesn't interact with that age group much? YMMV, of course. I enjoyed it but that did keep throwing me out of the story. Also, I thought NZ was very multicultural? Maybe I skimmed over those cues?
May 17, 2025
Good, but...
First off, this was a highly enjoyable read.
That said, this is hardly perfect. It's self-published, and it shows. Odd word choices, typos, bad formatting, continuity errors, and plot lines that go nowhere.
I did enjoy it a great deal, despite the flaws. The characters are interesting, the setting is lovely, and the murder is well done.
I'd love to see what this author could do working with a couple of good editors.
If you're willing to look past the flaws, you'll get a gem of a story.
First off, this was a highly enjoyable read.
That said, this is hardly perfect. It's self-published, and it shows. Odd word choices, typos, bad formatting, continuity errors, and plot lines that go nowhere.
I did enjoy it a great deal, despite the flaws. The characters are interesting, the setting is lovely, and the murder is well done.
I'd love to see what this author could do working with a couple of good editors.
If you're willing to look past the flaws, you'll get a gem of a story.
October 29, 2025
PIERA NASCIMBENE PER BABETTE BROWN BLOG.
Mi ha incuriosito il titolo e la cover mi è piaciuta particolarmente, (ha un suo perché); così ho iniziato a leggere questo romanzo di un’autrice neozelandese che non conoscevo.
Mi sono divertita, ma anche sono stata presa dalla storia che non è poi così leggera.
Il protagonista, Dante, è un assassino in pensione che da centoquattro giorni non ha più ucciso. Non è uno spietato killer, ma un ex agente del MI5 che a nemmeno quarant’anni si è ritirato dal servizio e ha comperato un villa d’epoca a Te Kohe, un piccolo paese in Nuova Zelanda.
Con la casa si ritrova anche un giovane giardiniere, Charlie, un gatto, una pianta che fiorisce ogni dieci anni, il fiore cadavere, a cui bisogna dare la giusta attenzione, un riccone rompiscatole e una signora sessantenne, Eleanor, con un passato che deve rimanere lì dove sta.
Un omicidio mette in moto Dante ed Eleanor anche perché sia lui che il giovane Charlie sono sospettati. Man mano che si procede nella lettura, la storia si fa sempre più interessante, a tratti divertente e a tratti strana, soprattutto quando Charlie confessa di vedere e parlare con i morti.
Il modo di scrivere dell’autrice è semplice, pulito. Buono l’approfondimento dei personaggi. L’ambiente è descritto in poche parole, ma che bastano a dare la giusta idea del luogo. La vena ironica e leggera arriva sempre al punto giusto della narrazione.
Io l’ho apprezzato e lo consiglio.
Mi ha incuriosito il titolo e la cover mi è piaciuta particolarmente, (ha un suo perché); così ho iniziato a leggere questo romanzo di un’autrice neozelandese che non conoscevo.
Mi sono divertita, ma anche sono stata presa dalla storia che non è poi così leggera.
Il protagonista, Dante, è un assassino in pensione che da centoquattro giorni non ha più ucciso. Non è uno spietato killer, ma un ex agente del MI5 che a nemmeno quarant’anni si è ritirato dal servizio e ha comperato un villa d’epoca a Te Kohe, un piccolo paese in Nuova Zelanda.
Con la casa si ritrova anche un giovane giardiniere, Charlie, un gatto, una pianta che fiorisce ogni dieci anni, il fiore cadavere, a cui bisogna dare la giusta attenzione, un riccone rompiscatole e una signora sessantenne, Eleanor, con un passato che deve rimanere lì dove sta.
Un omicidio mette in moto Dante ed Eleanor anche perché sia lui che il giovane Charlie sono sospettati. Man mano che si procede nella lettura, la storia si fa sempre più interessante, a tratti divertente e a tratti strana, soprattutto quando Charlie confessa di vedere e parlare con i morti.
Il modo di scrivere dell’autrice è semplice, pulito. Buono l’approfondimento dei personaggi. L’ambiente è descritto in poche parole, ma che bastano a dare la giusta idea del luogo. La vena ironica e leggera arriva sempre al punto giusto della narrazione.
Io l’ho apprezzato e lo consiglio.
August 26, 2025
4.5
This book was such a lovely surprise! I went in not really knowing what to expect, but it ended up giving me so much more than I imagined. The three main characters were the heart of it all. Dante, antisocial, but full of depth; Charlie, brings vulnerability and heart; and Eleanor is the kind of character who steals every scene. Together, they felt both funny and touching, each one balancing the others in the best way.
There were so many moments where I laughed out loud, and plenty where I felt really moved. The whole story is creative, original, and just plain fun to read.
These are the kind of characters you get attached to right away — the ones you want to keep following from book to book, like Poirot, Sherlock Holmes, or even the trio from Only Murders in the Building. I really hope there’s more to come, because I’d happily join them on every new adventure.
This book was such a lovely surprise! I went in not really knowing what to expect, but it ended up giving me so much more than I imagined. The three main characters were the heart of it all. Dante, antisocial, but full of depth; Charlie, brings vulnerability and heart; and Eleanor is the kind of character who steals every scene. Together, they felt both funny and touching, each one balancing the others in the best way.
There were so many moments where I laughed out loud, and plenty where I felt really moved. The whole story is creative, original, and just plain fun to read.
These are the kind of characters you get attached to right away — the ones you want to keep following from book to book, like Poirot, Sherlock Holmes, or even the trio from Only Murders in the Building. I really hope there’s more to come, because I’d happily join them on every new adventure.
September 16, 2025
3⭐️
Libro cozy, muy apropiado para esta época. Un ex-asesino decide retirarse a un pueblo perdido en Nueva Zelanda donde pretende vivir tranquilo y pasar desapercibido, pero pronto descubrirá que no va a ser posible, y es que en este apacible pueblecito, hay un asesinato y él se verá involucrado en la resolución del caso.
Me ha gustado mucho la descripción de los paisajes, el pueblo, las plantas y flores, y también algunos personajes como Charlie, y sobre todo Eleanor.
Lo que me ha sacado a ratos de la lectura es que está traducido en español neutro, y hay palabras y construcciones verbales y de frases que no estoy acostumbrada, y me chirriaban un poco.
Libro cozy, muy apropiado para esta época. Un ex-asesino decide retirarse a un pueblo perdido en Nueva Zelanda donde pretende vivir tranquilo y pasar desapercibido, pero pronto descubrirá que no va a ser posible, y es que en este apacible pueblecito, hay un asesinato y él se verá involucrado en la resolución del caso.
Me ha gustado mucho la descripción de los paisajes, el pueblo, las plantas y flores, y también algunos personajes como Charlie, y sobre todo Eleanor.
Lo que me ha sacado a ratos de la lectura es que está traducido en español neutro, y hay palabras y construcciones verbales y de frases que no estoy acostumbrada, y me chirriaban un poco.
June 14, 2025
The hero, Dante Reid, belongs to AA (Assassins Anonymous); they keep track of how long its been since a kill. (I really love Dante.) There are other characters with varying backgrounds and talents. And there's a lot of interesting background info about New Zealand, plants, and, of course, weapons. And there are murders and a really nasty villain.
There's a lot of territory to cover, and I want to avoid spoilers, though some characters are dead. This is a keeper, and I'll be rereading it soon.
There's a lot of territory to cover, and I want to avoid spoilers, though some characters are dead. This is a keeper, and I'll be rereading it soon.
July 2, 2025
This was a funny book. I've never been an assassin, so I'm not sure how they would react when they retire, but I would love to think it was like this. Living life like your earning your AA (Assasins Anonymous) chip. Included likable characters and just a fun read. I am looking forward to the next book.
August 4, 2025
Fun cozy mystery
Great characters, lovely setting, exciting but still cozy! I really enjoyed this book, and I look forward to the next one.
Great characters, lovely setting, exciting but still cozy! I really enjoyed this book, and I look forward to the next one.
August 12, 2025
Such a fun little read. Gives some Richard Osmonde vibes. Looking forward to the next
September 27, 2025
I knew straight off i would love this, grumpy retired assassin and a bumbling gardener accused of murder with a smattering of snarky ghosts is right up my alley
October 9, 2025
A very enjoyable read, I really enjoyed Dante and Eleanor. Charlie was fine, but he did have good moments. Some things happened very quickly or it felt like they happened just to happen, but it was very good overall!
May 8, 2025
A bit of a disorganized start but once it gets going, it's very good
September 3, 2025
Dante has hung up the balaclava and retired to a quiet village in New Zealand to relax and enjoy the small things. We meet him at 89-days kill free where he’s indulging in second breakfasts, learning to garden, and attending weekly group therapy on zoom. It’s a peaceful, if not humdrum existence until a cat with three white socks infiltrates his domain and a lady gets shot by a sniper. Dante is forced to team up with a transient art thief and a teenage gardener to unmask the murderer, which will test his commitment to the code and worse, force him to engage in small talk. There’s real estate fraud, blackmail, hidden treasure, catnapping, and a lot of ghosts milling about. It’s not easy to catch a killer without killing, but Dante might pull it off as long as the botanical society stops requesting an invite to look at his corpse plant. Ain’t nobody got thyme for that.
October 28, 2025
A well-constructed supernatural cozy with a fairly ridiculous set-up and fairly simple characters quickly grew on me. Yes, you could see all the seams and joints of the work, but it was a solid piece of craftsmanship. The characters were simple and the tropes were thick, but the pages kept turning. I dare say I finished this book quicker than any other book I have read this year. There is a charm to the New Zealand setting and characters that is nicely spiced with an English assassin and an American dilettante detective. The supernatural element is nicely folded in and by the end, the world seems consistent and primed for a long series.
November 15, 2025
Ughhh. Couldn’t finish it. Generic. Ridiculous dumb assassin. Couldn’t care about any of the plot. On the plus side, there was an over-60 female lead character that was capable.
November 13, 2025
A delightful cozy mystery, complete with ghosts and set in New Zealand, one of my favourite places. Can't wait to read the next in the series!
August 25, 2025
Reading for the Free box in the Book Bingo. It looked interesting and as soon as I read the first chapter, I was hooked.
Now finished - I loved this book. If you enjoy a cozy mystery with a hint of paranormal, run, don't walk to your Kindle and read this delightful book. It made me happy every time I opened it. Plus, it was easy to open because the chapters were very short and compelling. If you need a feel good mystery with a bad guy turning good, I highly recommend this. I think it will go down as one of my favorite books of the summer.
Now finished - I loved this book. If you enjoy a cozy mystery with a hint of paranormal, run, don't walk to your Kindle and read this delightful book. It made me happy every time I opened it. Plus, it was easy to open because the chapters were very short and compelling. If you need a feel good mystery with a bad guy turning good, I highly recommend this. I think it will go down as one of my favorite books of the summer.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 370 reviews