chew me up, but don’t spit me out

by damagecontrol

Regulus has it all figured out. He keeps men on a rotating roster so none can get too close, works nights as a dancer to make the most of his chronic insomnia, and pushes everything he doesn’t want to remember about the past ten years into the recesses of his mind. It’s easier to pretend none of it ever happened.

But when James Potter crashes into Regulus’ life with his fancy sports car, wealth beyond measure, and devil’s smile, it marks a switch in the natural order of things. James is a client; Regulus isn’t allowed to fall in love with him. Except James is the first man in a long time who can see past Regulus’ carefully constructed façade, and who could ever resist the temptation of being known.

Or, this is a story about identity, addiction, self-expression, and love in all of the varying shapes they can take.

Genres: Fan Fiction, Romance

ebook

Published August 8, 2024

Reviews

[angeleyne · Rating 4 out of 5]

this genuinely stressed me out so much at parts but i really enjoyed it. i loved being able to see regulus’ journey 🥹

[Kaitlyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hahaha no

[noa (james’ version) · Rating 5 out of 5]

cmu james loml

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

holy mother of smut

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Y’all, I spent the whole day reading this and the one scene I really wanted?! Fade to black (pun intended)

[Maya · Rating 5 out of 5]

i need james so bhad

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

DO NOT JUDGE ME 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[elvs · Rating 3 out of 5]

ese pequeño fade to black en la única escena que me interesaba............ damn

buen fic para pasar el rato...... mis partes favoritas han sido cuando todo estaba mal y no había filthy smut cada dos páginas pero overall 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[L · Rating 5 out of 5]

favorite fanfic author strikes again. (words don't encapsulate how much i loved reading this)

[Tara Batt · Rating 4 out of 5]

That one scene where I was genuinely intrigued by the logistics. Fade to black — hahaha

[Fercha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want what this bitches have

[Izzy Busy Bee (Elle's Version) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not hiding this review because of spoilers, I am hiding it because of shame...🤓 (not really, but just go with it.) (I genuinely just don't want half of these words to be displayed on my profile where just *anyone* can read them.) (If you are reading my review of cmu, you know exactly what you're in for.)

Okay, so truthfully, I enjoyed this one. I don't think I realized *exactly* what I was in for, but I definitely knew that Regulus was a dancer and James his patron, sooooo... I wasn't too surprised.

To make it simple, I'll put it into list form of things I liked and things I disliked.

Disliked:
- ratio of smut/plot
- certain kinks (will not list because of spoilers) (also, this is just my personal opinion--I have nothing against any of these things, I'm just boring)
- discrepancies in personality between sex life and regular life

Liked:
- Jegulus (CUZ DUH)
- BLACK BROTHER ANGST. Oh my goodness, you guys, I LOVED this universe's Black brothers. They are so precious. I love them, your honor.
- Regulus and James' respective friend groups (I've always loved this, but it was just written so well in cmu)
- Mexican James (need I say more?)
- how incredibly well written and sensitive/considerate the topic of addiction was (I loved how honest and real these characters felt)
- REGULUS AND SIRIUS'S EXPLORATION OF GENDER AND IDENTITY. I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW PRECIOUS THEY ARE TO ME. AND NOT JAMES AND REMUS KNOWING EXACTLY HOW TO ADDRESS THEM DAY TO DAY BECAUSE THEY JUST KNOW THEM SO WELL.

Anywho, those are my thoughts. A solid 3.75⭐ read.

[Ari⋆˚ೀ · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐3.75/5⭐

Jegulus mis pequeños meowmeows cuanto os quiero
Pero es verdad que pensé que me iba a gustar más y aunque lo he disfrutado y me ha hecho patalear no ha sido de los mejores pero es que me gustan tanto que me da igual leerles en cualquier universo. Y algo que nunca cambia es James siendo el mayor simp y el mayor pringado

James, who looks at him like he hangs every star in the sky at night and sets the sun on fire during the day

Además lo que sí me ha encantado de esta historia ha sido coger a Reg de la manita mientras se descubre a si mismo y con qué se siente comode y la forma en la que damagecontrol va cambiando los pronombres que usa para reg conforme se va conociendo a si mismo, pasando de he/him a they/them y a veces a she/her ES QUE ME HA ENCANTADO VER COMO SE IBA SINTIENDO MEJOR EN SU PIEL Y MY BABY

Gender feels like a performance sometimes

We want to decide how the world understands us, not let the world tell us how we should be

Y dónde dejamos a mis Black brothers, dónde dejamos que siempre consigan cogerme el corazón y estrujármelo es que es INCREÍBLE

How are the stars tonight?
I havent been able to see the stars since you left

Les quiero con mi vida, tienen mi corazón entero en cada universo porque en cada universo consiguen sanarse mutuamente

En fin que otro jegulus para el bote, a seguir sumando

[Margot · Rating 4 out of 5]

listen...
if you clicked on this book already, you can't judge me. And if you know me personally... well, no you don't.
We listen, we don't judge.

Really good fic though. Love cmu James. Love the angst.
(love the smut but I don't want any comment on that)

[Mollie Olivia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love anything James & reg but this was frankly not my style. I like angst & soul crushing & insane plot. Idk this was just not my thing. Took a while to read compared to usual fics too

[Sasha Greensfelder]

I’m not rating this because the writer said they didn’t want it on Goodreads but I wanted it in my reading goal count for the year! But loved this!!

[Sophie Pelizzari · Rating 5 out of 5]

actually in love with this book. cried. read it twice in a week. may be obsessed

[basil ★ · Rating 5 out of 5]

i just want to say i started crying because of how happy i was reading the last chapter that's it really

[Channing Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

atp i read more fanfiction than actual books😞
(not complaining tho)

[emily burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

let’s get married in monaco.

[Sawyer-Pearl · Rating 4 out of 5]

okay I know this isn’t technically a book but fanfiction has my heart, it was definitely a fun read and I needed a break from all the deaths in other Starchaser fanfiction

[sophia jeffries · Rating 4 out of 5]

don’t look at me

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG this was so good i cant even begin explaining

[Gill MacLean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This hurt me and healed me in all the right ways. Loved the characterizations, loved Reg’s journey. I’m so proud of them <3