My Date With Water

by Unfortunate Reads

“Unassisted spontaneous orgasms.” That’s what the news is calling it. Marina calls it a dream come true. Except after a bad break up, she’s stuck in the house she grew up in, becoming increasingly sexually frustrated. She loves her parents, but she’s a screamer, and that’s just a line she isn’t willing to cross while living under their roof.

So when she decides to get away for a weekend, is it really her fault if the calling of the shore was just too strong to resist? Renting a tiny house on an uninhabited cove, Mari is about to discover if the deep blue sea will be the stuff of her dreams, or become her worst nightmare.

My Date With a Water is part of The Sentient Object Calendar Series, a shared series curated by some of your favorite off-the-wall Biblio Barbie, Dakota Cockaday, Holly Wilde, Luna Cantrip, Nicole Parker, Sylvia Morrow, Thea Masen, Unfortunate Reads, and Vera Valentine. It is meant for readers 18 and over who are ready to embrace a deeper experience with some unusual holidays.

Genres: Romance

66 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 23, 2025

Reviews

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 3 out of 5]

You know what? I respect that the plot is “woman finds out specific area of ocean water causes orgasms and immediately travels there to experience the orgasms. The end.”

CW: explicit sexual content

[Biblio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Time to get wet and woo’d by- flying fish? No sorry let me start over. Unassisted Spontaneous orgasms sponsored by water! Get railed by water just outside your cute little beach front air bnb. Love sand? Great! You’re going to wake up in it after passing out from post coital bliss. This one was so freaking funny and wild, I absolutely loved it! Don’t miss out on this wild and wet series!

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

My Date With Water
Sentient Object Holiday Series, #4

I Picked Up This Book Because: Continue the series.

Media Type: eBook
Source: Kindle Unlimited
Dates Read: 1/28/25 - 1/30/25
Stars: 3 Stars


The Story:
Pure smut. Exactly as advertised. I am sadly no longer in the mood for it so I didn't have a great time. Nothing wrong with the story, just me.

[ɢʀᴇʏッ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️ 4 🌶

MCs: 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳 ♡ 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩? 😅
🗓 World Water Day, March 22nd

DONT TAUNT THE MOTHER EFFIN OCEAN!!

HOLY CRAP!! a whole new meaning to the phrase "its the motion of the ocean"😆😆 that must be 1 of the best SORs ive read!! its super quick, hilarious, & hot AF!! the idea of railing a true sentient ocean said to cause "spontaneous unassisted O's", with water tentacles & all, 𝘞𝘏𝘐𝘓𝘌 ur on a weekend getaway at a cute beachfront air b&b, even polite enough to return u to shore after, was so adventurous & made it such a fun read!! & in her very 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 fashion...i love her use of 𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔, 𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒐, & 𝒋𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔🤣🤣 love love LOVE this addition to the series🙌🏽

✨ part of 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘖𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘊𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 & can be read as a standalone. this series is curated by some of our fave off-the-wall authors & is meant for readers 18 & over

[Robyn G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anything written by Unfortunate Reads is worth the read!
Short and weird just the way we like it!

[QuiztheWhiz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I need a tall glass of water after reading this book🚰

I’m in love with Marina’s thoughts about how she needs to get laid and her unapologetic screams. Such a relatable character and would love to see her go back to the tiny house on the cove.

[emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

1. lmao
2. why is she confused about bathrooms??

[Melinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will forever be amazed that Cassie managed to make this as hot as it was. Sign me up for a beach vacation and some time in the water. Let's be honest if us SOR readers turned on the news and saw that the ocean was giving happy endings we would all be on our way to the nearest body of water to see what happens.

[Lanae (findmeonsmutlane) · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I tell you I was CACKLING out loud reading this.

Hysterical.

Horny af.

I am dead ☠️.

Read it. It's so worth your time. I'm dying.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know what, this was weird af but also oddly arousing at times. Haha. It’s a short fun read.

I received an ARC for free to write a review.

[Hannah Bryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy shit that was a roller coaster of wtf and I'm here for it 😂

[Amber J Christie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good read

[bookwh0rebryce · Rating 5 out of 5]

water has game

who knew the ocean was a pleasure dom??? moana sure didnt 🤣🤣 time to book a beach vacation i think 😏

[Livvy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you thirsty for the ocean? (Pun intended) Then, look no further than My Date With Water, Unfortunate Reads newest release about a sentient ocean that FUCKS.

Unfortunate Reads takes a wacky concept, such as doing the nasty with a sentient ocean, and turns it into a masterpiece that has a great plot, fantastic smut scenes, and humor that always has me on the floor laughing. I can imagine it's a tricky balance taking wacky concepts and turning them into excellent books. Unfortunate Reads has mastered the wackiness we all love and making it believable. Hey, it doesn't have to be realistic!

TLDR: Mother is mothering, and her loyal devotees are eating GOOD!

P.S. The whole time I was reading this, I kept picturing Rotten the Snowman from Smiling Friends after he became the ocean.

[Poetry Drive · Rating 5 out of 5]

I dived into this fully expecting it to be weird and funny, but I am somehow always surprised at the new levels each Unfortunate Reads book brings me to.

A sentient ocean throwing fish at a horny woman’s Airbnb to get her to come out and play with it. It’s crazy and yet it makes sense given that the OCEAN is sentient in this universe. It’s the least it could have done for attention, honestly.

As always, UR incorporates great word play and quirky phrases to seemingly mundane or taboo things. Such as:
”satchel of Richards”
“Unassisted spontaneous orgasms”
“Tickle my taco”
“Deranged frisbee”

Not to mention the chapter titles are hilarious and fitting. What does LOTR have to do with a sentient water romance? You’ll just have to read it to find out.

[Michelle Lebron · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Airbnb in front of the beach, flying fish, lots of sand, a pink bag of toys *ahem* you know what kind, but most importantly, the ocean calling out to you to fulfill your deepest desires. If all of this sounds interesting and you want to laugh out loud for a while, this book is for you. I hadn’t laughed so much with a book as I did with this one in particular. Unfortunates Reads, your mind is a mystery, and you gave us this incredible story 🤣. It will be etched in my memory forever. The chapter titles—oh, I absolutely died laughing at them. If you enjoy reading weird, funny, and especially spicy stories, this one is for you. Welcome to the tribe!

[Michaela Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you looking to get wet? Like drowning in the ocean wet? Then this is the book for you!! In this all spice, no plot, seriously freaky novella our FMC Marina gets the best vacation of her whole life. Unfortunate Reads is an absolute icon and this has become my favorite novella of hers that I’ve read so far!! I’m really looking forward to reading her other book in the Sentient Object Holiday series, My Date with a Jellyfish!

[Melli · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know what? I'm about to read a book about a girl about to run into the ocean to ask it to f*ck her, I am not about to question where this book came from or how.

If you read sentient object romance and are entirely frustrated with men or stupid toy settings or just want to enjoy an author having fun, join Marina's horny paradise.

Arc provided by Unfortunate Reads

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like Unfortunate Reads has somehow absorbed the powers of all the books and authors she has reviewed and become some kind of wildly unhinged superhero of the sentient object world. This book was great. If you saw reports of people experiencing "unassisted spontaneous orgasms" in the ocean, would you be able to resist the urge to go for a swim? Yeah, me neither. No plot, only hot wet fun.

[Mollie Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, this was seriously hot. Like HOT. I loved the picturesque setting of the cozy beach cottage and the private ocean cove. I loved the mention of author other works, too cute. I’m kinda sad, because I want more! Can we get a sequel?! Pleaseeee!!

[Allisha (Lady_Perfictionist) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cassie is just spot on with a smutty book about water!

Would I rent a beach house with a beach that had peoplespontaneously orgasiming...yes I would.

Would I go into the water and get pounded by it...yes I would!

Did Cassie write this book for crazy people like me....she sure did!!! I cannot wait to read the rest of this series!

[Miss S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great sentinel object smut fest. Who knew the sea could be so naughty. Completely crazy and yet strangely believable. The spice is hot with no angst just fun. A great next addition to this series of books

[monika_is_booked · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was fun....and wet 😏

[Mrs.Kriz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very silly. Exactly what you think it's going to be. 100% a chick getting railed by the ocean.

[exya. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Why didn't they end up together, I thought that the water will be the usual transformed sentient :'((

[Colleen Downey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The name lets you know this is smut. That being said I really wanted to see how this author tackled how one goes on a date with Water 😂. I would not say they are dates. But it's quick funny and well written.

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure if the lesson here was don't taunt the ocean or face the consequences, or don't taunt the ocean and face THE CONSEQUENCES, but either way, I'm here for whatever comes 😏

I have a healthy wariness of the ocean, so I never thought I'd say this, but the ocean was actually kind of adorable. The way it waved at Marina when she first got to her rental house, and the heart it made as she left....cute! I wanted to hug it, as impossible as that would be.

My Date with Water was a short, sexy read, and I loved every page! It was just the kind of silly, fun story that I needed today!

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spice is most certainly the plot!

This was amazing. I love these crazy sentient novels so much and this one certainly hit the spot if you know what I mean. Side eyeing the ocean thats for sure!!! I didn't know whether I was the problem or if this book was just that spicy, but it certainly left an impression 😅

[Britt Smolinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

Unassisted spontaneous orgasms. That’s all that’s needed to know about this book. I’ll never look at water the same way 😂

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Date with Water
By Unfortunate Reads

“I don’t know what in The Little Mermaid that was yesterday, but I can’t deny those were the best orgasms of my life.”

Read this and tell me you’ll look at the ocean the same way again. Yeah, I bet you can’t.
So pack your swimsuit and take yourself a vacation.

Short and sweet. Nothing frilly. Just the ocean getting down and dirty.