Existed Prior To Service

by Maria Auer Salmon

Published by Onward Press, a military veterans’ non-profit. All sales contribute to its mission to help veterans tell their stories.

In the hot blast of the Kuwaiti desert, Sgt. Amanda Ashe, on guard duty, snaps and fires her weapon at an Army Special Forces captain. She missed. Arrested, hog-tied and shipped to a lock-down Army psych ward, Amanda says the guy and a couple of his men raped her. No one buys that story. Alone inside the Army’s nut house, Amanda sets out to prove her accusations. But who will help? The whacky assortment of fellow inmates? Nurses? Doctors? And what will the Army do to keep Sgt Amanda Ashe quiet?

320 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 21, 2024

Reviews

[Julia McPhillips · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up expecting to be heartbroken by the story inside, however I find myself filled with fire. There is so much to make you want to fight for the characters, and even find your own pains mixed with theirs. While my story is nothing like that of Sergeant Ashe, I turned each page desperate for her story to continue. I expected this to be a summer read, but in a week I find myself already finished.

My only note is that the ending felt too easy. I felt that his mother needed more anger about this realization about her son. However, I enjoyed how it did not end in revenge, but rather hope.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not want to put this book down. The way the author portrayed Amanda’s emotions made you feel them. What the character went through is unimaginable and to think this isn’t a rarity in our military is horrific.
This book should be required reading.

[Laura Hamlet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suspenseful narrative unfolded with intention and creativity. Reading this story made me good angry. Reminded me that I’m not alone in experiencing and fighting back against brutal misogyny and the people and systems that give it power. Love this book, and I’m proud of the woman and who wrote it.

[Keiko · Rating 4 out of 5]

Existed Prior to Service by Maria Auer Salmon follows Amanda Ashe, a young woman trying to build a new life in the U.S. Army, only to find herself navigating complicated power structures, personal trauma, and the realities of an institution that isn’t always equipped to protect the people within it. The story blends her emotional journey with the rhythms of military life, and it’s told with a level of familiarity that makes the harder moments land with real weight.

One of the book’s strengths is that sense of authenticity. Even when the scenes are tough to read, the rawness works in the book’s favor and adds emotional depth. Amanda’s reactions often feel grounded and human, and there’s a quiet honesty in the way the story handles her attempts to survive something painful while still trying to move forward.

I did find the writing itself a bit uneven at times. There are noticeable grammatical and punctuation issues that interrupt the flow here and there, along with moments where the narrator’s voice shifts in ways that don’t feel entirely intentional. Acronyms also appear without explanation, which may feel natural to those familiar with military environments but may require some pausing for civilian readers.

While Amanda’s emotional arc is compelling, the ending felt a bit rushed. I understood what the book was aiming for, but it was hard to fully believe she could set aside what happened to her so neatly. The idea that her shooting at Butler “balanced out” what was done to her didn’t entirely sit right. I could see her wanting to move forward for her own sake, but I would have liked that part to be explored with more clarity.

Overall, Existed Prior to Service is a heavy, honest story with moments that hit hard precisely because of how plainly they’re presented. The writing has its rough edges, and some narrative choices didn’t fully work for me, but the heart of the book—trying to make sense of trauma and figure out what comes next—comes through. I’m glad I had the chance to read it, and I appreciate the author for providing a copy.

[Chris Cross · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devastating, compelling, funny, and inspirational.




Maria Salmon's character, Sgt. Amanda Ashe, plunges the reader into a nightmare of sexual violence in a war zone and her betrayal by the chain of command, who choose to cover up the crime instead of protecting their soldier. But don't call her a victim, as she fights back with determination and humor and heroic disregard for her own well being in the face of a bureaucracy hell-bent on destroying her.

This new writer has chops and I can't wait to see what she does next.

[Laura Schlicher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book down - I learned so many things. Beautifully written, educational and motivation for advoacy.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is incredible- great writing, eye opening, engaging, and really thought provoking. I highly recommend this book.