crushed: the boys that never liked me back

by Kiersten Lyons

(girl + boy) ÷ heartbreak2 + surprises = a rom-com in real life

While tying the bows on her wedding invitations, Kiersten’s fiancé walked in and told her he didn’t think he loved her, and maybe never had…. Oh, and he’d cheated. At a place called The Magic Castle. Because what’s hotter than aging celebrities performing magic in a fake castle in the Hollywood Hills? But don’t worry, because six months later, while Kiersten was struggling to pay rent, he won $100,000 on a reality show. Yes, you read that right….

A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Why is it that the minute you get your heart broken, whether by a boy or a dream (or if you’re Kiersten, every single life plan she’s ever made), you look around to see everyone else is doing amazing! Everyone’s life is perfect!

Because everyone else is stupid….

Oh, and why are they always telling you “everything happens for a reason”?! Your family, your friends, that checkout lady eyeing the three pints of non-dairy ice cream you’re buying?

Leave me alone, Cheryl!

But also, don’t. Because when you’re alone, you’re hit with the reality that you can’t wake up from this bad dream. Also, why is everybody looking at you like that? Equal parts pity and confusion, like they’ve never been rejected before. Why are you the only one heartbroken? The only one struggling? The only one… Crushed?

But what if that’s the stupid part? The lie that you are the only one.

In this nostalgic memoir equally cut with anguish and humor, Lyons invites readers along on a lifetime of Crushed moments and the hope of being left in awe of the pivots she never wanted in the first place.

And what if realizing you aren’t alone is the first step to one day knowing you’ll be in awe too?

***

“Kiersten Lyons is the voice of a generation. Truly an incredible writer that will be remembered for centuries.” —Kiersten’s mom and dad, who haven’t actually read the book yet

“Kiersten is loud and annoying.” —Kiersten’s seventh-grade crush

“Lyons doesn’t give it up, so I ghosted her.” —Kiersten’s college crush

“Kiersten Lyons is just not pretty enough.” —Hollywood casting directors

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

Published June 10, 2025

Reviews

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lyons's book had me thinking about all the messages I was fed as a kid about boys--"he's mean because he likes you", "don't act too interested", "boys will be boys", "you can change him". Whether learned directly from a friend or from watching a 90s rom-com, these messages that we received as young women are all inherently harmful and toxic, which may be part of why Lyons found herself always chasing unavailable or abusive men. In this memoir, Lyons urges women to wait for the real ones and to refuse to change yourself for someone else (or as I saw it aptly put on TikTok by plantkween yesterday, "Don't shrink to be digestible. Let 'em choke").

While the messaging was relevant and important, and parts of the plot nostalgic and relatable for me, I couldn't entirely fall in love with this book. The structure at the beginning with the hops around in time were too confusing to follow. When she goes back to her childhood a few chapters in, she writes it chronologically, so it becomes much easier to understand. The writing wasn't super engaging for me, and despite this being written based on a standup hour, I didn't find it funny. It likely would be much better as an audiobook. Many sentences begin with interjections ("Okay", "why yes", "no, but") to the point where I could predict the parts that the author was trying to make comedic, which made it less humorous.

Women who grew up in the 90s will love (or hate) this book--you'll love it for how seen you feel, but you'll hate it for how much you cringe about all the nonsense you accepted in your own life.

[Kirsty Jarvie · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC read provided in digital copy by NetGalley

Kiersten Lyons' Crushed is an extremely funny memoir in which she dissects her life as it basically falls apart in every way.

I found this very easy to read , Kiersten's writing style is very witty and is almost conversational like you are reading a letter from a big sister or as if she is writing to her younger self. Diving into aspects of heartbreak, embarrassing moments and self worth, telling them to know their value and ensuring them that everything will be ok in the end.

This is the perfect read for teenagers or younger women who are trying to get their life together.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book Review: Crushed: The Boys That Never Liked Me Back
by Kiersten Lyons

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Overview
Kiersten Lyons’ Crushed: The Boys That Never Liked Me Back is a candid, darkly humorous memoir that dissects the universal yet deeply personal experience of unrequited love. Blending raw vulnerability with sharp wit, Lyons traces a lifetime of romantic misadventures, interrogating societal narratives about desire, self-worth, and the elusive “happily ever after.” Structured as a series of vignettes, the book transcends the confessional genre by weaving cultural critique into its narrative, making it both a relatable coming-of-age story and a subversive commentary on gendered expectations.

Themes and Content

Lyons explores:
-The Illusion of Reciprocity: Deconstructs the myth that love is transactional or deserved, exposing the pain and absurdity of one-sided affection.
-Self-Discovery Through Rejection: Positions unrequited crushes as catalysts for personal growth, challenging readers to reframe rejection as liberation.
-Humor as Survival: Uses self-deprecating comedy to disarm trauma, balancing laugh-out-loud anecdotes with poignant introspection.
-Cultural Critique: Examines how media and societal norms romanticize pursuit (e.g., the “grand gesture” trope) and perpetuate toxic ideals.

The memoir’s strength lies in its refusal to sanitize awkwardness or despair, offering a refreshing antidote to curated social media narratives.

Writing Style and Structure
Lyons’ prose is conversational yet incisive, with a rhythm that mirrors the highs and lows of adolescent infatuation. The vignette format ensures brisk pacing, though some stories feel truncated, leaving emotional arcs unresolved. Her background as an actress and storyteller shines in vivid, cinematic scenes—whether cringeworthy (e.g., a misguided serenade) or devastating (e.g., realizing a crush’s indifference). The tonal balance between humor and heartache is deftly maintained, though occasional dips into sarcasm risk distancing the reader.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:
-Authenticity: Lyons’ unfiltered voice invites empathy without soliciting pity.
-Cultural Relevance: Timely exploration of modern dating’s emotional labor, particularly for women.
-Narrative Range: From middle-school crushes to adult disillusionment, the scope feels expansive yet intimate.

Weaknesses:
-Repetition: Some thematic beats recur without fresh insight.
-Depth vs. Breadth: Certain anecdotes could benefit from deeper analysis over surface-level humor.

Section Scoring Breakdown (0–5)
-Originality: 4.5/5 – A familiar premise elevated by unique voice and critique.
-Emotional Impact: 4/5 – Resonant but occasionally uneven in tonal shifts.
-Thematic Depth: 3.5/5 – Strong ideas occasionally overshadowed by anecdotal focus.
-Narrative Cohesion: 3.5/5 – Vignette structure sacrifices some continuity.
-Cultural Insight: 4.5/5 – Sharp, relevant commentary on love and self-worth.

Final Verdict
Crushed is a whip-smart, emotionally charged memoir that turns heartbreak into art. While its fragmented structure may frustrate readers seeking a linear narrative, Lyons’ honesty and wit make it a standout in the genre. Perfect for fans of Tiny Beautiful Things or Everything I Know About Love, it’s a testament to the transformative power of owning one’s unglamorous truths.

★★★★☆ (4/5) – A hilarious, heartbreaking ode to the crushes that shaped her—and the self-love they taught her.

Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Kiersten Lyons, for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Ashleigh Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt like having a conversation with an old friend, it’s at times funny, embarrassing, relatable, sad and most importantly encouraging!

There was a bit more talk of religion in there than I expected but Kiersten talks about her relationship with god honestly, sometimes brutally and only in relation to herself and her own situation so did not come across as OTT.

A great reminder that there’s no such thing as perfect and “figuring it out” is a lifelong project.

[I received an ARC from NetGalley]

[Candice · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this book not knowing who the author was but thinking it sounded like an interesting book. I feel this book would be great for teenage girls and even some into their twenties and beyond.

I feel like we can all relate to certain aspects of this book. Knowing you like someone and they don’t like you back. Will you ever find someone who does? Will they feel for you as much as you do for them?

This feels like a letter from your big sister. I have a teenager and I think this would resonate with her more than her mom just telling her.

Thank you NetGalley and Post Hill Press for the advanced digital copy of this book. All opinions are my own!

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Any book that opens with a letter to Jonathan Taylor Thomas is going to have my heart. This book is part memoir with primary focus on relationships (the good stuff and also the not so good stuff), part nostalgia particularly for those of the millennial variety (like me), and part reassurance for younger women that they're not alone, and others have navigated all kinds of stuff, too. I didn't know anything about the author prior to reading this and still found enjoyment and connection in her story. Thanks to NetGalley for the look at this June 2025 release.

[Elissa Greyson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crushed is one of those books you pick up expecting lighthearted chaos… and somehow end up highlighting half the pages because the author just said the exact thing you’ve been afraid to admit out loud.

Kiersten Lyons takes what could have easily been a “messy breakup story” and turns it into something much bigger, something that feels like a mirror. From the moment her fiancé walked in with the kind of confession that would shatter anyone’s world (seriously, THE MAGIC CASTLE?!), you can feel the mix of disbelief, heartbreak, and that strange quiet that happens when your whole life derails in one sentence.

What I loved most is how she balances humor with raw honesty. One minute you’re laughing at her self-deprecating jokes or the absurdity of life, and the next you’re hit with a line that makes your chest tighten because… yup, you’ve felt that exact heartbreak before. The emotional whiplash is real but in the best way.

This isn’t just a memoir about relationships; it’s about the tiny humiliations, the “everyone else seems to be doing so much better than me” spiral, and the way heartbreak, romantic or otherwise, makes you rethink everything. Kiersten’s willingness to share not only the big dramatic moments but the small, quiet, shame-filled ones makes the book feel like a long, honest conversation with a friend who finally tells you the truth about their life.

The nostalgia, the awkwardness, the pivots she never asked for… it all lands beautifully. And the biggest surprise? You finish the book feeling less alone. Because as much as Kiersten jokes that everyone else is stupid, the real message lands softly: you’re not the only one who’s been crushed, and there’s something freeing about admitting that.

If you’ve ever been heartbroken, blindsided, embarrassed, or simply human, this memoir will sit with you in a very real way. It’s messy, funny, sad, hopeful, and honestly, kind of cathartic.

[Lorren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kiersten Lyons and I have a few things in common—a penchant for boy-craziness (and the attendant heartbreak), time living in Los Angeles, and an unexpected personal encounter with Taylor Swift (although I would NEVER make the mistake of referencing a track 5 song as track 7 in print, no less!). This book appealed to me, as someone who has had her share of dating heartbreaks. And I was pleasantly surprised to read that a key part of the author’s journey was waiting until marriage, because I don’t often find that represented in media and that is my journey as well. I found the narrator likable and in many cases even admirable. However, I did find this book a little uneven. There were timeline jumps and I couldn’t always remember which boys were which. The author also lightly alluded to certain life events very briefly that had me wishing to hear more about them instead of the relationship struggles the book is centered around—tell me more about becoming parentified when your mom had a psychotic break (twice!). Tell me more about what it was like being on tv shows! Tell me more about your adopted little sister/daughter’s story and your decision to adopt another child later on! I recognize those experiences were not the emphasis of the book, but I think they would have made it a richer and more engaging story. I liked Crushed rather than loving it—but I still want to read what this author does next, because it’s clear she has an abundance of interesting life material to draw from and I hope she chooses to.

I received CRUSHED from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that feeling when you go through something painful or traumatic and think you’re the only one who’s ever experienced that kind of heartbreak—only to discover you’re not alone? That’s exactly how I felt when I found Kiersten Lyons and her book Crushed.

In it, Kiersten walks readers through one of the most gut-wrenching experiences of her life with such honesty and vulnerability that you can’t help but feel seen. Whether you’ve had your heart broken, been overlooked for an opportunity, or watched your expectations unravel into something completely unrecognizable—this book hits home.

I’m still working my way through it, but it already feels like a conversation with an old friend—one where you laugh, cry, and swap stories about the times life knocked you down… and how you found your way back up.

[Faithe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crushed; The boys that never liked me back by Kiersten Lyons is a unique ysje on dating and a how a romantic comedy would really be.

This book is technically a memoir about the author, and her experiences of not feeling worth your crush, or accepting a toxic relationship because you think that's what you deserve. Reading this book was like chatting with your good friends about the highs and lows of dating. It is super relatable and hilarious.
I recommend this book for anyone who has had a bad relationship or bad dates.

Love that there was a forward from Chris Carmack, who plays Atticus Lincon on Greys Anatomy.

Thank you Kiersten and team for partnering with NetGalley. I received an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion and review.

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to read this book because I went to high school with Kiersten (she graduated with my sister) but I went in with an open mind. I received the ebook ARC from NetGalley but ultimately bought the audio from Audible because I wanted to hear Kiersten read it herself (my preferred medium for memoirs) and imagine my excitement that Chris Carmack reads his foreword. I knew where he went to high school but didn’t know his connection to Kiersten.

I enjoyed all the references to locations I’m familiar with, as well as a mention of a teacher she had that I also had. I enjoyed Kiersten’s perspective on her upbringing and what transpired once she left Maryland. I’m not sure I would have enjoyed this book as much if I’d read the print version so I’m glad I chose the audio.

[Louise Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

ARC received via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Crushed was an interesting read. I’ve got to admit, I went into this not knowing anything about the author because I’m not on TikTok. It makes sense that they were a Big Sister because Crushed was written from that perspective of wanting to help other women realise that they’re enough. It was a pleasant surprise to read about their faith because you don’t often get that from memoirs about actors trying to make it in Hollywood.

There were useful life lessons but the reason it was 3 x Stars instead of more is because some parts of it were difficult to read, for example when she was on again and off again with the ex-fiancé who’d cheated on her and called off their wedding. Sometimes it felt like more of an extended stand-up routine.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this magical work and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I had a hard time putting this book down from start to finish. It feels like you’re having a true girlhood moment with the author and just laughing + crying together. This book touches on grief and how it cycles through in waves and in different forms. It made me want to be kinder to myself and gave me hope for things ahead. Can’t wait to share this book with my friends so we can go through it together.

[Marie Trotter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughtful, funny, and sweet memoir about Kiersten moving through a series of crushing life experiences. The structure is somewhat unusual, featuring many jumps backwards and forwards in time, but I found this really effective for conveying the way that grief and loss destabilized the author's chronological understanding of reality. And I appreciated that while Kiersten has suffered deeply, this isn't a memoir of victimhood, but rather of growing through suffering into a more compassionate view of self and others.

[Julie Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not only uplifting and encouraging for me, but wildly relatable. It’s perfect for teens and women well into their thirties still trying to “figure it out” (I’m 34)

Brilliantly written and wildly heartfelt, this read is one you won’t be able to put down. I finished in just two days! It’s clear the author poured her soul into this with the intent of helping others realize they’re more than enough. 10/10 MUST READ!!

[Jess M · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some great advice, fun nostalgia and important stories from the author's life, but the writing really fell flat for me. I think it is just not my kind of humor or writing style. I never felt compelled or excited to keep going. I think the physical book may have been better than the audiobook for me. Even if this author has overcome a lot and has great advice for women, and wonderful advocacy for therapy and healing, the read was just. .. okay. 2.5 Stars rounded to 3.

[Priscilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Received eARC from NetGalley for review*

Even though this is a memoir about the author, a lot of her experiences of not feeling worth it when you like a guy or accepting a toxic relationship because you think that’s what you deserve is so relatable.

I’m happy she got her happy ending. I can only hope that my own happy ending is out there too.

[Courtney Kirkman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved Crushed. From the very first page, it felt like the Author was speaking directly to me. Her writing is raw, honest, and vulnerable in the most healing way possible.
I highly recommend reading Crushed; especially if you’re in a season of heartbreak. Crushed is like a hand reaching out, reminding you that you’re going to be ok.

[Rae Quigley]

I’ve been trying to read this since July, and it’s just not happening. This is not a bad book. I think that the author is somewhat interesting, and the topics could maybe be relatable to some. But I did find it a bit repetitive and just did not ever want to pick it up.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book left a lot to be desired. The stories were good & it had good advice but I just could never get into it. After a while I found I was reading it just to read it instead of getting anything from it.

[Fernanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC received via NetGalley

Sharp and funny. I couldn't relate to everything in the book, but I enjoyed how unapologetically full-throated it was in it's earnestness and emotion.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you so much to Netgalley and Post Hill Press for this e-arc!
The title of this book was instantly something I wanted to read about so getting the arc was huge! I genuinely cried in the beginning while hearing about the fiancé and how heartbreaking that situation would have been. I appreciate Kiersten sharing this story with the message of giving yourself respect, care and understanding. There were a lot of very sweet and emotional parts to this book and I’ll pick it up again when I want a little bit of motivation and support