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29 pages, Audiobook
First published November 3, 2024


“And we all know what happens when Carl gets a girlfriend. I love him very much, but he’s quite naïve. She could literally have dicks raining on her, and he wouldn’t notice. No offense, Carl.”
“Happy wife, happy life takes on a whole new meaning when your other half is an indescribable cosmic horror.”
“Be careful who you’re nice to. Because if you are nice to the wrong person, they’ll either take advantage of you, or worse, they might never leave.”
“When Big Things happen on such a large scale, it’s easy to forget sometimes that these Big Things are also happening to the little things in the world.”
“Yes, Carl,” the potion bottle said, his voice deep and demonic. “Drink me. Drink me deep. Put me inside of you.”
“We hadn’t used the chain skill because, well, I’d decided to blow myself up instead.”
“It was still dark and cloudy, and I could barely see anything, but a giant, quivering ball of rolling flesh with a god-sized dick schlopping out of it was pretty hard to miss.”
“Raul lowered her and let her slide to the ground. The crab sneered. “Daddy Carl is magnanimous today. Now you shall kiss his famed, alabaster feet and beg for forgiveness.”