When Push Comes to Shove; Real Life on Dead Tour: The Journals of Hollie A. Rose

by Hollie A. Rose

When Push Comes to Shove; Real Life on Dead Tour; The Journals of Hollie A. Rose
It’s 1988 and the rock band - The Grateful Dead - are at the top of their game. The author and her intrepid friends have left the “real world” behind in favor of following The Dead full time – anywhere – everywhere.

If you ask them, they’ll tell you they’re here for the music, the people, and the fun. But the truth is, they are really here to be a part of everything that matters about being human. They are here to bear witness to the power of being fully alive. The truth is akin to what Joseph Campbell said of the Dead and the Deadheads:

“This is more than music… It turns something on in the heart, and what it turns on is life energy… A wonderful fervent loss of self in the larger self of a homogeneous community. This is what it’s all about!”
Grateful Dead concerts are transformative, life-affirming events but it’s not always easy to live like this. It is a life of transcendence and magic, absolutely. These hippies are honored to be part of this dream, but it’s not all smiles and roses living out on the road, and out on the streets.

Living full time on Grateful Dead Tour is not for the faint of heart. Following psychedelic troubadours around the country during a War on Drugs is dicey on the best of days, and things can get real pretty fast when the world goes sideways. Nonetheless, these Tourheads never doubt that whatever troubles they deal with are worth everything, anything – so long as they get to be part of those magic moments when the Dead take the stage and the entire audience opens their hearts to dance the world into existence. Any challenges faced are positively worth it for the magical experiences that unfold. For these folks, Tour is what it means to be fully alive.

420 pages, Paperback

First published November 25, 2024

About the author

5 = Great book!
4 = Really good book.
3 = Not bad
2 = Not good
1 = Awful

I'm a lifelong Diarist. If Diaries were listed as a genre I'd have chosen it. That IS my favorite genre, but I get by on other books too...
I used to publish a magazine about Diaries and Journals - you can find more info on
https://web.archive.org/web/200312191....

Since 2001, I've written myself book reviews of every book I've read. I'm new to goodreads as of Feb 2018 but I'll occasionally copy some of my old reviews here.

I'm a Personal Organizer who specializes in decluttering and I'm a Creative Life Coach.
(I like to help people get rid of the crap that holds them down and find their best lives!)

Most importantly I just published my actual journals written while I loved on Tour following the Grateful Dead around the country in the 1980s and 1990s. (Fabulous typo there - or Freudian slip - I think I'll leave it.)
Find it here on Goodreads.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

Reviews

[L.M. Pampuro]

A journey into life on the road following the Grateful Dead in the 80's. Rose captures the adventure and challenges of full-time touring along with the magic that evolved around the band.
From the book "We rocked the universe when we danced our tribal celebrations. Shakin' our bones was an affirmation that we were alive! Everything that was good and awful was ours."

[Tonya]

This book is more than it seems. The universal themes are many, namely betrayal. But it’s also a love story, to Jack, to Fritz, to all of us. For me, Hollie especially captured the internal struggle that gradually grew, the examination of dissatisfaction where there once had been nothing but joy, the rethinking of our connections and Deadication, the mournful decision to step away, create distance, despite the eternal flame within. So many emotions arose; I relived so much. Tears were shed at the end. That signifies good work. You struck my chords, Hollie A. Rose. I hope this book resonates as strongly with those who weren’t there, never visited, or can’t fathom. It is a labor of love.

[Daniel Skolovy]

Solid read. Journals get better and complete the more the book goes on. Probably not for everyone. But as a deadhead journaler I loved it. Great look at being on the road in one of the best dead eras.

[Beth A]

Think the Grateful Dead are all about the Summer of Love and hippie dreams? The journals of Hollie Rose reveal the whole story of life on tour with the Dead, written in the first person, as it happened without the 20/20 benefit of hindsight.

The ups (“We talked - Real talk. Telling each other the stories of our hearts.”) and downs (“I hate that we have to be so paranoid about the way we live. We don’t hurt anyone. Yet we live like we have to be scared.”). The highs (“That high above the lot all the music melted together and became a whole new Dead tune.”) and lows (“Carp’s lawyer says - plead guilty and get 12 years, or plead not guilty and maybe beat it, or get as much as 148 years. Hell of a choice.”). Listening to your heart and chasing the music you love are revealed in all their glory and heartache.

It’s the Deadhead version of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road. “The only people that interest me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing.. but burn, burn, burn like roman candles across the night.”

If you were there you know. If you weren’t - read and find out.

[Coquille Fleur]

I started going on Dead tour in 1990, just when Hollie was starting to question why she was still doing tour. This book resonated with me so much. I didn't even need the glossary in the back, but loved it anyway. I appreciate the raw, real journal style of this book because it tells the truth as it went down. This is the history of the hardcore fans of the Grateful Dead in the 80's before the internet, cell phones, Google maps, and legal weed traveling back and forth across the US (and Europe) in sketchy vans and school buses or even by thumb. This is the story of the highest highs and the lowest lows following the greatest band of all time, but it's also the story of American kids looking for meaning, connection, a tribe.
Even if you've never heard a Dead song, this book is still a fascinating history of what it was like to be youth looking for the meaning of life at the end of the 20th century.

[Joyce Haase]

This book is total immersion into the Grateful Dead tour scene in the late 80s and early 90s. This book works best if you have experienced a Dead lot after a show or ever needed a "Miracle Ticket" yourself. At first, the writing will seem concise and without adequate details to describe the colors and characters of the scene, but stick with the book and you will enter into a complex world that is not made of sunshine and rainbows. From the honest and authentic viewpoint of Hollie Rose's tour journals, the tough world of Dead tour is brought to life. It is a hard look at what it means to live idealistically and have your dreams dashed when you or your friends are busted. Get ready for lots of "fatty circles", some set lists, and the real-world of busses and breakdowns on the road. I gave this book 5-stars because, honestly...I have never been transported so vividly back to tour.

[Ben Bisson]

A roller coaster adventure of the ups and downs of the dead head tour lifestyle. It reads like modern day "On The Road" that takes you coast to coast and everywhere in between! If you've ever wondered just how did those hippies manage to live on the road and make it to all those concerts this book is for you. You don't have to be a dead head to enjoy this book, you don't even have to like the Grateful Dead! It's a fun read for anyone with an open mind and an open heart and is guaranteed to make you want to get out on the road and seek out your own adventure!

[Jon]

This was a pretty enjoyable read, a vicarious way to live through the ups and (surprisingly many) downs of Dead your in the late 80s and early 90s. Hollie Rose has a hippie heart and a writer’s brain, which makes for a good combination.