The Coon Show Scripts

by Spike Milligan

Radio scripts originally presented Oct. 1954-Jan. 1956 on BBC.
The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-On-Sea
The Phantom Head Shaver of Brighton
The Affair of the Lone Banana
The Canal
Napoleon's Piano
Foiled by President Fred
The Mighty Wurlitzer
The Hastings Flyer
The House of Teeth

Genres: Humor, Comedy, Fiction, Plays, Comics

Paperback

First published October 1, 1972

About the author

Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan, known as Spike, was a comedian, writer and musician. He was of Irish descent, but spent most of his childhood in India and lived most of his later life in England, moving to Australia after retirement. He is famous for his work in The Goon Show, children's poetry and a series of comical autobiographical novels about his experiences serving in the British Army in WWII. Spike Milligan suffered from bipolar disorder, which led to depression and frequent breakdowns, but he will be remembered as a comic genius. His tombstone reads 'I told you I was ill' in Gaelic.

Reviews

[Jeffrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is essentially a collection of original Goon Show radio scripts embellished with some of the scribblings and doodlings of Milligan and the other stars (Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe). While these stand on their own merits, if one has also heard the relevant shows one can put the funny voices and nuances of delivery to the scripts as well, although Milligan did a good job of describing the sound effects (FX) that he wanted anyway.

Essential reading for any self-respecting Goon fan but may be lost on the uninitiated.

[Jon Arnold · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’d be easy to dismiss these scripts as dusty relics: the writer and other performers are long dead and they often bear the attitudes of a very different and far less liberal age. What it does bring home though is that, even with the reliance on syllables of pure nonsense at times, Milligan’s prodigious output of weekly scripts was a minor miracle, firing off jokes with machine gun rapidity throughout. The absurdity and inventive use of the medium means that there’s still plenty for aspiring audio writers to take note of.

[Lewis Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading scripts to The Goon Show is a trial in ignoring its terrible racism and while we shouldn't overlook it's archaic views on the multicultural, you do have to look over them to gain any real enjoyment from this. I've grown up with The Goons' humour and while I would never condone this sort of thing now, there's something about the anarchic, quick-fire wit that really appeals to me regardless. This book of scripts captures that energy perfectly and it was surprising to find myself laughing out loud purely from reading a comedy script. It shows how well The Goons' humour has aged and if you overlook its outdated portrayal of people from different cultures, there's some real laughs to be had.

[Steve Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love The Goon Show. Started listening as a teenager and taped them so I could listen to them over and over again. Unfortunately the tapes are lost but I have managed to get some CD recordings. My 9 year old loves them too.

I must admit reading the scripts is not the same as listening to the shows, however, the brilliant character voices can't be kept quiet as I read.

[Valerie]

There are still some old tapes of these shows, and sometimes they're played on radio stations. Scripts don't really do it justice, but sometimes that's all we have.

Out of curiosity, why doesn't anybody remember Harry Secombe?

[Tosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spike Milligan's scripts and Peter Seller's voices - it's too good! Beyond a chuckle, more of a scratch on the head and just amazed at their minds and how it works. They call it genius and it is!

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

There have been a few editions of Goon Show scripts published over the years, and thanks to the steam powered internet one can access all the episodes that survive both in audio and in text. However this book is still the premiere collection of Milligan's writing for the seminal BBC radio comedy, and it is a must have for anyone who loves Spike and his colleagues, or wants to come into contact with the literary format of their best work.

There are plenty of positives to consider if you are inclined to be receptive to the book as mentioned above. First off the episodes that have been included are almost all classics. 'The House of Teeth', 'The Canal', 'The Phantom Head Shaver', 'Napoleon's Piano', 'The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill-on-Sea'are some of the greatest shows produced by Milligan et al. They come from what might be argued as the best years of the show (1954-56) and were solely the work of Spike Milligan. Also the texts for each episode is complete so some of the jokes and other moments excerpted from latter broadcasts have been included.

The book is also worthy of praise thanks to the inclusion of a lot of incidental cartoons drawn by Milligan, Sellers, Secombe et al. They are a perfect accompaniment to the scripts and demonstrate the surreal humour of all parties. Milligan has often been cited as referring to the Goon Show as a cartoon for the radio and the drawings added to the text support this construct.

There are also some useful clippings from newspapers that were printed during the peak Goon Show years, and some to accompany the production of the so-called 'Last Goon Show' in 1972. These are of some value, particularly those from the 1950s. They are placed at the start of the collection, alongside some rather funny short introductory pieces by Sellers and Milligan that are then followed by a hilarious collection of brief biographies of the Goon Show's characters.

The bottom line is 'The Goon Show Scripts' is a true Milligan must-have. If you don't have this book then you really need to give yourself a punch up the conk.

[Dane Cobain · Rating 4 out of 5]

The interesting thing about reading this one for me was that I’ve never actually listened to the Goon Show, at least not properly. The closest I’ve came is with a vinyl record with a few highlights, but that didn’t include any full episodes.

But I’ve been a Spike Milligan fan for a while now, even though he does occasionally display some old-fashioned views towards race and sexuality that are at odds with the world we live in today. But I can overlook that, and I still find his surrealist writing style to be pretty enjoyable.

This book literally brings together a bunch of those scripts into a single place, and it also includes a couple of other bonus bits such as character profiles and background material, as well as doodles and illustrations that the cast wrote on their original scripts.

I’m not sure that this has general appeal, but if you’re a Goon or Milligan fan then there’s plenty here to like. That’s it.

[Andre BFG · Rating 5 out of 5]

You had to be there.

A heady postwar euphoria pervaded Britain as a result either of rationing, or the widespread misuse of hairy ex-military trousers, and the Goons were its chroniclers. Bluebottle's languid yet despairing cry of "ooh look, he's fallen in the water" captured the mood of a generation, and a sound knowledge of Major Bloodnok catch-phrases ("The screens, nurse! Quick, the screens!") helped Gamal Abdel Nasser of Egypt to persuade Anthony Eden to resign. It is a little known fact that Eccles was Harold Wilson's talisman for most of his Ministerial career, and when faced by a particularly garrulous working-class audience he would calm his nerves bv imagining a naked Eccles teabagging them, one by one.

This book contains the essence of Goon. It explains many things about the British, including why Prince Charles talks to plants. And the meaning of knee-trembler.

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What's better than the Goon Show? Nothing.

Incredibly funny. English comedy fans owe it to themselves to read this book.

[Chris Nagel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The butler did it.

Oh, who can tell?

[behsforensics]

Cutting is for The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler
By Spike Milligan

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a nice collection of Goon Show scripts, all episodes from 1954 to 1956. I especially liked the inclusion of newspaper and magazine articles from both the time of the show's original run and the broadcast of "The Last Goon Show of All" in 1972.

Of course, reading the scripts alone can never do the show justice. But this book makes a nice supplement to the radio show.

[Huw Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is full of inspired lunacy, ludicrous puns and irreverend humour. It is as delightful to read as it was to listen to - I was too young to hear them when originally broadcast but fell in love with the vocal dexterity that complimented the humour of Spike Milligans writing. This went before Monty Python and has to be seen as the fount of surreal humour

[Reggie Hitler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Milligan was possibly the english Dali, or else he was just a nut. Anyway he had a mind far superior to you that went ping ping ping all about the place like a crazy woman's diarrhoea. Throw Sellers and Secombe into that you have something incurable. Just as funny to read as listen to

[Roy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Collection of the best of the Goons show , before my time , but hilarious . Haven't heard all the shows on audio which is really the best way to enjoy them obviously, due to the funny voices , but this is very readable .

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my goodness... how I remember, as a child, taking these old scripts with my friends and recording our own Goon Shows on an old tape-deck.... Priceless...

[Alessandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Classic British radio comedy of a peculiarly anarchic sort, the precursor to "Beyond the Fringe" and "Monty Python's Flying Circus."

[Pete Aldin · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the fans.

[Robert Kaufman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of my favorite old time radio shows. Still have the albums buried somewhere around the house. Features a young Peter Sellers.

[David Stimpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

best comedy ever

[John Barclay · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is nothing like the mind of Spike Milligan. These scripts are wonderful surreal and hilarious.