M de mamá

by Abbie Halberstadt

¡Bienvenida al desordenado, enloquecedor y milagroso mundo de las madres!

Las interacciones entre las madres en esta era digital pueden ser desalentadoras. En lugar de reunirse para animarse las unas a las otras y celebrar el milagro que Dios ha hecho en sus vidas, algunas mamás permiten que memes sobre “lo peor de tener hijos” influencien su actitud hacia la maternidad y la crianza de los hijos.

Abbie Halberstadt, madre de diez hijos, cree que Cristo tiene mucho más que ofrecerte a ti y a tu familia que la validación hueca de imágenes cómicas que te ayuden a “sobrevivir un día más”. Cuando nos sentimos insuficientes como madres, Cristo es más que suficiente, y su amor por ti y por tus hijos es todo lo que necesitas.

Sin embargo, no siempre será fácil. Requerirá de una firme determinación y el deseo de criar a tus hijos para la gloria de Dios. También requerirá de una voluntad fuerte para decir “¡no!” a las tendencias populares y no dejarte arrastrar por la ola de maternidad mediocre que parece estar ahogando nuestra sociedad contemporánea.

En M de Mamá, Abbie ofrece consejos, palabras de aliento y estrategias bíblicas, sazonadas con un poco de humor y gracia, para ayudarte a aceptar los retos y ver las recompensas de ser una madre excelente en Cristo.

¿Estás lista para el reto? ¡M de MAMÁ, no de mediocre!

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Christian Living, Family, Faith

264 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 25, 2024

About the author

Abbie Halberstadt is a writer, fitness instructor, and homeschooling mother of ten children, including two sets of identical twins. Abbie lives by the motto that “hard is not the same thing as bad” and encourages women to dig deep to meet the challenges of everyday life through her blog and Instagram posts. She, her husband, Shaun, and their children live in the Piney Woods of East Texas.

Reviews

[Sophie Miller · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled with this from the first page and couldn’t figure out why until after I finished it. I picked it up for encouragement and practical help and ended feeling defeated. Though I’m sure it was not the intention of the author, it heightened my performance-driven tendencies by prescribing how I should parent like this family that *obviously* has it all figured out with their 10 children, so that I’m not a mediocre mom. It felt a lot more like shame and work than lifting my eyes to see what Christ has done. It actually felt, to me, like “Christ has saved you so you can mother *this* way (and just ask my 120k followers about how helpful these principles have been for them!),” not that He saved us so we could depend on Him for the grace to parent regardless of how different it may look from someone else and regardless if it looks—gasp—mediocre to someone who clearly has it all figured out. I just felt the expectation and standard was off. And, after reading this, even admitting that feels like an excuse that would be chastised by the author as giving myself too much grace in this already excuse-laden society. I know this is not the takeaway the author intended. But here we are.

I cannot recommend because I feel it will compound any existing shame that someone may have and it could, as it did for me, lead them more into themselves and a dependence on their performance as a mother instead of Christ’s as our only sufficient Hope for our children or ourselves.

I did like and agree with the chapter on technology.

*editing to add I just read other reviews on here and a constant theme is the feeling the author is not saying “follow me as I follow Christ” but “follow me as I’ve mastered the only way to glorify God in motherhood.” Triple yikes.

[Autumn · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is so much I want to say about this book. Do I highly recommend it? Yes. Did I absolutely love it? Yes and no. I'm a sinner and my heart hurts for the momma I want to be but am not. Abbie repeated throughout the book not to put her on a pedastool, not to glamorize her life, not to compare yourself to her or any other but it is the nature of our sinful flesh to do just that.

This book is written in just the way I love. She speaks to the point, gives illustrations, provide real-life scenarios, and backs it all up with scripture. Each chapter ends with a narrative from the world (the world's take on the chapter she just finished), the biblical narrative, and practical homework for achieving the topics in that chapter.

Her 'about the author' at the end made me cry. She praised her momma and as she read (I listened to the audiobook read by the author) the Christ-like qualities of her mom I wondered if I would be spoken of like that one day when my kids are grown. Hard question to ask!

This book is meant to encourage and it did. Mothering is hard and it takes an enormous amount of work, self-discipline, and consistently. Without the Lord Jesus Christ no mother can raise children and do it well. It is Him that we please and He is our standard.

[Haleigh DeRocher · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book on motherhood I have ever read.

[Chelsea Hjalmarson · Rating 1 out of 5]

**Edited to make this 1 star after all.**
DNF bc this book was irritating me so much. Originally a 1 star book for me but gave it an extra star in the end bc I do believe the base message that we need Christ in all things, especially motherhood, but disagree with the authors means of conveying that message.

Irritated for the following reasons:
1. I have a really hard time taking advice from someone who has 10 kids, homeschools, teaches workout classes, runs a blog, writes a book, builds houses with her husband and says she just “naturally has energy” and never drinks coffee. 🙄
2. Her first “sin” reveal is that she scrolled too much on her phone shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding AFTER the kids went to bed. 🙄🙄
3. Who is this book suppose to be for? All of her examples of “mediocre” motherhood seem very much like people who need the hope and love of Jesus. I would never give this book to a non-believer. And for Christians- we have FREEDOM IN CHRIST! We are not mediocre in His eyes. We are beloved. We are His masterpieces- Ephesians 2:10.
4. The writing style is too casual. Reads like a really long SM post that doesn’t stop. I was skipping paragraphs simply bc there were SO MANY words on the page and it took SO LONG to get it to the point.
5. None of her “sin” reveals (that I got to, bc again DNF) were relatable. They all seemed pretty silly to me. The author tells us she’s not perfect but then doesn’t share any real problems. I’ve had too many mom friends visit motherhood hell. This author almost seems naive to the trauma many mothers find themselves living through.
6. I mostly walked away from this book feeling like this author has only 1 viewpoint (hers!) and that’s the right way. All other viewpoints are mediocre.
7. And finally- as a self described “lazy mom”- there’s nothing wrong with being mediocre unless your pride tells you there is. Mom’s sacrifice day in and day out. I don’t need anyone calling me mediocre when at the end of the day my kids are loved by me and their dad and they know it.

[Rebekka Wall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really went back and forth on even writing a review - but I felt compelled to share my thoughts. I don’t have Instagram so I don’t know Abbie from her online world - but this book reminded me exactly why I wanted to be off of social media and continue to stay off.

No doubt Abbie loves the Lord, her husband, and her kids. I appreciated her desire to share her goal of Biblical based mothering and wanting more from this generation of Christian “mamas.” However, I consider myself a high capacity mom of 3 boys who wears many hats similar to Abbie, but I felt like I only read all the things I was subpar at that she excels. She calls it conviction if you feel less than, I felt like it was straight up guilt/shame. And even if she said “follow me as I follow Christ” referencing Paul… I certainly felt like she gave every opportunity she could to just say - actually just follow me and my ways.

I can only imagine what 10 kids looks like, she obviously is excellent at many things. But I didn’t enjoy at all the subtle weaving throughout that if you don’t surrender the amount of kids that you will have like she did in her early years or aren’t a MOM (mom of many) as she calls it, you aren’t doing it right. Children are a blessing, but I got the impression if you stop having children by choice because of your marriage, finances, or legitimate mental health, that’s just an excuse.

I’m glad Abbie has found herself and her family thriving, but if you have ever given your kid boxed mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, watched Netflix, had a glass of wine, drink coffee, have a house cleaner or hired babysitters, or ever ordered takeout, this book probably isn’t for you.

[Andra Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m struggling to rate and review this book.

To me this felt like drinking a RedBull energy drink (if you drink that sort of thing). Stop making excuses. Strive for excellence. Stop using cultural norms to justify your laziness/addiction/sin.

This made it hard to review because I agree with each of these themes: Embracing motherhood, striving for excellence, not excusing poor behavior and choices. But the rest of the content left me feeling like I drank that RedBull, I get that burst of feel-good/self righteous energy and motivation, “yes! I will read my Bible, work harder, and be a more excellent mama, [no mediocrity for me thank you]” but I know, from past experience, this doesn’t sustain me for the marathon that is parenting in a connected, healthy, whole-hearted way. My experience is also that books like this were the wrong thing to be reading in the intense seasons of trauma parenting, as well as the intense toddler moments.

When I evaluate the things that have been foundational to me in doing motherhood well, I find most of them are missing from this book. I’m all in on the authors goal of excellent motherhood. But for me, this book isn’t very helpful in consistently staying healthy as a mom month after month, year after year.

[Amber Launstein · Rating 1 out of 5]

Christian mother of 10 decides to write a book why?? She has many tips which she always gives a good example from her own life, but fails to talk about any of the science behind her ideas to back it up. It makes her come off as a superior know-it-all. On top of that, her ideas are so unrealistic. She is one of those people that quotes Bible versus only in a way meant to support her own ideas instead of using them contextually. Finally, I strongly dislike when an author refers to her readers as “mama.” Stick to blogging.

[Amanda (BookLoverAmanda) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this as Abbie Halberstadt gives biblical wisdom on a variety of motherhood topics and how to embrace Christlike Motherhood. We need Jesus in every aspect of us being a Mom. I specifically liked the chapter on Self Care - which can be releatable to all of us, regardless of being a Mom or not. She mentions Self Care is getting SOUL Care. Time with the Lord. Not getting to a point where we feel angry when we don't get what we want for "me time". She talks about that time being more so, time with the Lord. Loved the way she explained it. Also liked the penny reward system she mentioned. While I couldn't relate to much when it came to her discussing her kids and parenting, because my son is autistic and special needs (4 year old), and not everything she mentioned would be applicable to us -- I think many parents would get a lot of out this.

[Honorah Deatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are wanting to read a book that will make you feel good about yourself, this isn’t the one I would recommend. But if you want to read a book that challenges you to do better, while encouraging you to embrace God’s calling of motherhood - this is the one! The Biblical wisdom of M is for Mama is very timely and relevant to counter the type of motherhood that is being pushed in front of our faces on a daily basis. A great read for all mothers!

[Courtney Nolt · Rating 2 out of 5]

My review got deleted somehow, so I'm going to try to remember what I said. 😫

Maybe this book wasn't written for me, but since I'm a mom and a Christian, I'm apparently the target audience, so here goes. I didn't like it. It seemed like mediocre motherhood to the author is whoever doesn't parent like she does. Some of the examples of mediocre weren't bad or sinful, just different than her preference. It came across as shaming and judgmental much of the time. It was a lot of "they" say and do, etc. Who are they exactly? Everyone who does things differently than she does isn't a monolith.

Several times throughout the book, she mentions snark in parenting as mediocre and something good moms don't do. Then she calls her 2 year old a "selfish little navel gazer." So snark when "they" do it = mediocre and bad, but name calling when she does it = fine and hilarious, apparently. She also refers to that same 2 year old as a sinner several times. The behavior she said was sin was a tantrum. Two year olds aren't capable of sin. A tantrum is developmentally appropriate behavior for a toddler. They are having big feelings and don't have the tools to deal with them. It feels deliberately bad sometimes, but they are brand new humans learning about the world in developmentally appropriate ways. They aren't disobeying God, so they aren't sinning.

Feelings are something the author talks about often in the book, and it's almost always in negative ways. I agree. Feelings aren't the truth. We shouldn't make big life decisions based on our feelings. But feelings aren't bad. They are there to let us know when something isn't right or when something needs to change. Demonizing the "bad" feelings is a good way to end up in therapy as an adult with a chronic illness, learning how to let ourselves feel or cry for the first time in years. Feelings are an invitation to get curious about what's going on. But the whole "women are fickle, emotional creatures, the feelings are not to be trusted" is a worn-out trope that needs to die.

In one chapter, she mentions her "more than moderate" postpartum depression and "hormonal overwhelm." She then gives a step by step guide for getting rid of it. The steps involve reading the Bible more and making a gratitude list. And that's basically it. In a book written for moms, in a chapter about PPD, it is risky and irresponsible to not mention seeing a medical provider as at least an option. PPD is serious and life-threatening in some cases. It's great that the Bible and gratitude helped this author. It's downright dangerous to imply that those things are enough in every case. In this chapter, she says she, "Let my grumpy have too much grace." She also says there were "very real physiological and physical aspects to my struggle." Which one was it? Because being grumpy and needing an attitude check and having "more than moderate" PPD is NOT the same thing.
If you are reading this and suspect you have PPD, you aren't alone. Call your doctor. Medication and therapy are excellent tools. You're going to be OK.

There's a lot of us vs.them language in this book. She writes in her chapter on community that the saying "it takes a village" isn't Biblical. Then, she proceeds to write an entire chapter on the importance of community. The village IS the same as your community. But ok, she doesn't like the saying and so therefore, it's unbiblical. Got it. She references the mediocre moms that need wine, or coffee, or Netflix, or Target to cope with mothering. Also, it turns out she doesn't drink coffee or wine, have a Netflix account, or shop at Target. Congratulations on being better than everyone else?

I didn't hate the whole thing. I just didn't see a whole lot of grace here. If you want a gentle, non shaming book for mothering or keeping a house while overwhelmed, depressed, chronically ill, or neurodivergent, I recommend How to Keep House While Drowning by K.C. Davis.

[Pippin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hoped this book would go further into toxic motherhood culture where complaining is applauded and guilt enforced over anything good, though I wouldn’t describe this as “mediocre” nor is there nothing wrong with being mediocre except to your pride. While she defines “mediocre” as constant complaining, the rest of the book uses it to describe falling short of perfection and contrasts it with “Christlike.” The encouragement is very manipulative, avoids harsh words while taking no excuses. Example: “I don’t give a rip about your three-day clothes” then adds disclaimers like ‘as long as you’ve seen different people those three days’ then sympathizes she has occasionally worn an article of clothing twice herself. This has nothing to do with mothering, why even go there and make people feel bad if they DO smell? Shame (even wrapped in pretty language) may be convicting in the short term but tough love addictions trap you in a cycle of defeat. She says “grace” to mean ‘try harder but with Jesus.’ It is a form of prosperity gospel, using Christ as a means to get what we want: being super mom. Christ did not die so to give us a way to ‘do better’, this is idolatry of having it together.
The humble-bragging is not relatable at all. Once she spent too much time on her phone! Her lowest parenting moment when “everything came to a head” and she “LECTURED” her kids. She didn’t yell, just “harped” on them for not finishing their chores. Keeping your temper sounds like a parenting win to me but no this required dramatic intervention: she decided to only speak gently. Why didn’t I think of that?
Her mother regularly left the author to be babysat by her brother so she could buy groceries alone even though he would “forcefully” pin her down to tickle her while she struggled. She blames herself for being “feisty” and “has no defence” for fighting off his scissors with a pencil. What were her parents thinking? It is sickening how she minimizes her brother’s behaviour, she absolutely sounds like she needs therapy.

[Emily Thomson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Gosh, this was such a disappointment. I made it one chapter in and felt queasy going further. This message is so dangerous for so many reasons, first it’s wrapped in scripture and some sound messages and principles. Relying on Christ and not your own strength, driving parenting wisdom from scripture and not cultural norms- all good messages. But the idea that serving your child pizza every night for a week or wearing the same clothes three days in a row (an example from the book) is a mediocre way to show up as a mother and resting in friendships as a way to hear “me too” in the struggles of motherhood as a bad thing is such a toxic and shameful message. I’m so heartbroken for the moms who read this and feel shame for how they’re showing up and when they’re doing their best but this author paints that as falling short of the glory of God.

[Natalie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I rarely leave reviews, but this book has me so worked up with the author’s incredibly poor theology and shame wrapped up in Scripture that I decided not to finish it at the urging of my best friend. I borrowed this book from the library after listening to the author on a podcast. Her advice and words of encouragement on the podcast were relatable and uplifting so I was excited to listen to more from her. The first chapter started out okay, but the further in I got the worse it got. She started out with an anecdote about how she has mom friends of all varieties— moms with few children, moms with lots of children, moms who homeschool, moms who send their kids to public or private school— and how they’ve never fought. “Really” she says, “never.” My guess would be that they’ve never fought because they know the judgement they’d be in for if they asked for her opinion seeing as she promptly begins her message that if you aren’t succeeding like her then you aren’t working hard enough, you aren’t trusting God enough, or you’re ignoring the mom guilt that is actually conviction from the Holy Spirit that you’re just a mediocre mom and you need to do better.

The chapter on motherhood as a profession was exceptionally problematic. As a Catholic, I firmly believe that marriage and motherhood are vocations that I am called to and they should be my first priority, meaning my husband and children come before anything outside my home. That does NOT, however, mean that working outside the home is shameful, negligent, sinful, etc. as the author implies. I say this as a woman who has been a stay at home mom to four children for the past decade (in case anyone thinks I am feeling triggered by this because I work outside the home. I don’t.) To anyone who truly believes this author’s message that working outside the home is selfish, please read Pope St. John Paul II’s “Letter to Women” on the feminine genius.

Not every woman is called to be a stay at home mom or homeschool their children or whatever else the author declares will save your children from the feelings of rejection they’ll certainly internalize if you dare to work outside the home or send them to school outside your home. Can you IMAGINE saying that to a mother who MUST work to be able to feed her children? Not once did she address that this is actually a requirement for some families to be able to pay their bills and put food on the table. I agree with previous reviewers that it falls under “prosperity gospel” in that she’s suggesting if these mothers just trusted HER belief (NOT God’s by any stretch, but she claims it to be) that all mothers should be primarily at home with their children from birth until age 18, then God will provide all that they need. They just need to trust more. I would love for her to explain how she can insinuate that she knows what’s best for all women, how if they are struggling they aren’t following God closely enough, and how even if they’ve prayerfully discerned that working outside of the home is the right choice for their family, they’ve discerned wrong? That is a direct contradiction to each of us being uniquely created in the image of God.

The author goes on in a subsequent chapter to say “hormones don’t excuse sin” when describing how she lectured her children (but makes a point to say how she did not yell or rant) during one of her postpartum periods and how these “harsh words” would have lasting effects on her children. How discouraging and invalidating to any mother who has ever lost her cool. I don’t know any mother who *enjoys* yelling at her children or looks at that as the goal for how they want to parent. Some mothers are coming from backgrounds where that’s all they knew though and are working their best to do better for their own children. They should not the shamed for where they are in their journey because they haven’t “arrived” at the same level of patience as she has. Instead of describing how to model humility in an apology, she goes on to talk about how mothers need to focus on being more patient, gentler, etc. so that their children remember them fondly and without sin. Her vision does not recognizes the mercy God has for us as sinners in her call to “do better.” She elaborates saying “it’s not popular in secular culture to hear that your actions are sinful.” Frustration is not sinful. Anger is not sinful. Anger is often the beginning of justice. How you act on those emotions may be sinful, but claiming postpartum hormones are causing people to sin because they are sleep deprived and need more support is helpful to NO ONE. Claiming that mothers are trying to “indulge in misery” when they’re crying out for help in one of the hardest periods of their life is so out of touch. I don’t disagree that there ARE circles where people DO want to spend all their time complaining, but in trying to condemn that mindset she successfully invalidates the experience of countless mothers who need more love and support from the people around them.

The message of this book is full of shaming statements for mothers who don’t do things a certain way, the author’s way. It is dangerous and flat out FALSE theology.

“If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.” — St. Thérèse of Lisieux

[Renata Janney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I truly, deeply hated this book. This may be due somewhat to personal circumstances or my own unacknowledged sin- I think that’s what the author would say- but I came away from this book even more depressed than when I started. To my stress, exhaustion, and despair, she responded “work harder! Just don’t be sad! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! And don’t forget that you need to stake yourself firmly on the conservative side of the culture wars!” The whole tone of the book rubbed me the wrong way and was devoid of the sympathy (not validation, sympathy) that I had hoped to find in the book.

[Adayla · Rating 2 out of 5]

The quality, some sections, some insights.. I would give 3 stars maybe. But I just can’t rate higher than 2 or else it might look like a recommendation.

This book is missing a lot. And focuses on a lot of the wrong things. I was interested in picking up this book because I do see the complaining culture of motherhood, trying to one up each other on just how bad our day as a mother was. And I was curious how to combat that in practical responses (in my words and heart) or even just a helpful view of it. And it’s a pretty book with a cool design. Plus it was on sale.

But the response was, don’t complain. Just be a better mother. Use your own strength and be better than the mediocre mothers around you. And whatever you do, don’t be mediocre too.

Not helpful.

There was no grace. No repentance and forgiveness. No reality of our sinful nature. No pointing to our Savior and the work He has done. No distinction of law and gospel at all. Be better, work work work. BETTER.

There was a lot of talk about social media, online friends, be like this person and not like that one, the penny jar system chapter was hard to read.. The not-so-good parenting moments she shares are still dressed up enough to not sound THAT bad and still sound good enough to share on the Internet. It felt like every chapter was trying to be dressed up enough to post on Instagram with a selfie. I felt like it never really got into the real, tough stuff.

It wasn’t very deep to me. I felt like she didn’t understand me at all. I felt like all these responses to the negative culture of motherhood are actually just comments to negative social media posts. Not responses to real people in real life, trying to be a good mother and feeling weighed down and voices a negative (or sarcastic) comment about motherhood.. if a friend came up to you, voicing a bunch of how hard their life as a mother is, what is your real response? What do you say, how do you react? How do you stop that back and forth of, oh yeah? Well hear THIS… how do you bring conversations back to Jesus in those times? When the complainer is me, what grace and words of comfort do I need to hear? I just really doubt that the response to your stressed, complaining friend in real life would be, well you know what? That’s kind of mediocre. You should really pray more and work harder to be a better mother. Let me show you the ways to be a better mom. … I can’t imagine that would really help. Yet that’s how the book is set up.

This was a talk about the big picture of negative, whiny motherhood and a lot of that I agreed with. It doesn’t address the everyday responses, grace, conversation, when we actually deal with it face-to-face. In the heart of our friends and in ourselves. If I hadn’t spent money on this, I don’t think I would’ve finished reading.

The author is a mom of 10 and trying her best to keep things together. If I met her in person, I think I would like her. But I am reviewing the book and the content, not her as a person. We all have different personalities and make different choices and I think we’d still get along really well. The book itself, I cannot recommend.

[Christina DeVane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this, but it would be an excellent book to own and highlight! Being a mom of 10 kids, she certainly has experience! 🤪
I think this is an especially helpful book for moms of toddlers and younger children. She challenges you in a way that is Biblical and counterculture. We are called to be developing ourselves in God and His Word as we raise our children to the glory of God. Her chapter on soul-care vs self-care was good food for thought. Not sure I would explain it in those words as I see it as one holistic way of life.
She gives many practical tips as well like the penny rewards system, etc. I am not a sticker chart mom either!😆
A few quotes that caught my attention:

“Easier does not equal good, and hard does not equal bad. It is often our hardest mothering seasons that bear the most fruit in the long run. And it is the hard won fruit that tastes the sweetest.”

“Abstinence for a pure marriage is as sexy as it gets!” So true!!😍

Listen for FREE on Hoopla!

[Erika Torres · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t finish. Got halfway through and realized the author’s original thesis of “there is more than one way to Biblically parent” was contradicted by the louder themes of “unless you are doing it my way, you are being a mediocre mother”. As a Christian mother who with prayer and counsel, chose to stop at two kids, works outside the home, doesn’t homeschool, drinks coffee, and let’s my kids watch TV, this book was another voice of judgement that I chose to turn off because it doesn’t match the woman God uniquely created ME to be.

[Julianna Conrad · Rating 5 out of 5]

I looooved this book so so much. This is the first motherhood-focused book I’ve read and it challenged, encouraged, and convicted me in so many ways. This book spoke directly to several things I’m currently dealing with as well as provided me with knowledge for things to come in the future.

I’m still new to motherhood, but it’s incredibly important to me to be equipped with Biblical wisdom and knowledge before I am confronted with certain situations or problems. This book is one that I know for sure I’ll be referring to and rereading. I loved the humor sprinkled throughout, but more importantly the biblical approach to a wide variety of topics within motherhood.

I 100% recommend this one for all mamas.

[Shannon McGarvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Welcome to Biblically excellent motherhood”
This is likely the best book on motherhood I have ever read. Abbie is rooted in scripture, experienced (10 kids), yet still in the throws (18M youngest), down to earth, tells it how it is, kind, humble, and only points you to Christ, and occasionally tells you what works in their family. Every mom needs to read this, and I’ll be buying copies for future gifts.
Her chapter on gentleness is exactly what I needed in this overwhelming survival mode season I find myself in.

[Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy to read. She had a lot of Scripturally grounded points I found encouraging not just in motherhood but in walking as a Christian navigating relationships, serving others, comparison, etc.

I did find her tone / stories sometimes rather condescending and braggy. I also feel she didn't allow for much nuance in motherhood (adoption, special needs, etc) which is usually a bit of a turn off for me.

[Michelle Haggard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book on motherhood I’ve ever read.

I’m so happy this book exists! I have had a hard time finding a Christian mom book that didn’t sound overall like a place to just complain and be miserable together. All I’ve ever wanted to be is a mother and so i have a hard time understanding moms who complain and focus on the negative on (IMO) one of God’s greatest gifts. So thankful for this powerful book! It encouraged me greatly, as I was afraid to say a lot of these thoughts and I thought I was alone. ♥️

I loved how she wrote honestly that complaining and being negative is addictive, and robs yourself, your husband and your children of joy. I have been deeply, deeply burdened and saddened to see many Christian women authors (and many readers) not have the wisdom to grasp this concept. I loved how she came down hard at times, but also gracefully provoked thought by saying things such as “could it by finding other people to agree with us, we focus and intensify and justify our negative attitudes toward our problems?” 🔥

10 ⭐️

A few favorite quotes:

💎 Let’s make reality cool again. 💯

💎We will never have peace until to listen to the Holy Spirit in the area he is nudging us to grow in.

💎Martin Luther I have so much to do, that I shall spend the first 3 hours in prayer. ♥️ ♥️♥️♥️♥️ accurate.

💎The more we train ourselves to prioritize consistency and follow through the better we mirror his faithful character for our children.

[Isabelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could barely put this book down! Such a great book on being an excellent “mama” and rebelling against cultures pressure to just be adequate. It honestly helped me so much and gave me a lot of encouragement. She had great questions at the end that I normally would use as the take always and share with Will. Her book is full of Scripture, too (which is just another reason to love it!)

I definitely recommend to all my mom friends! She’s also really fun to read and her tone is very conversational/colloquial :)

[Maegen Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read this twice now. And I’ll continue to read it yearly, quarterly, weekly… as much as my mama soul needs the gentle reminders towards scripture and truth that motherhood is hard, but hard doesn’t mean bad. I am being shaped through motherhood to be more Christlike in even the smallest, mundane moments.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderfully edifying book written by a homeschooling mother of 10 children. Often times parenting books come off as “this is how I do it, I’m an expert, everyone else is dumb” - this is NOT that. The author is very humble, sweet, entertaining, and godly.

[Rachael Marsceau · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm super tired of Christian mom books, ngl, but this was so well-written and surprisingly unannoying, so I recommend you start with this one and maybe you won't have to read any others! 😜

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmm.. I might come back and change this but for now I'm sticking with 3 stars. I'm not a huge fan of "motherhood" books but I purchased this one because I follow Abbie on Instagram and enjoy what she shares about homeschooling, raising kids, etc. I liked this book because she was quick to point the reader to the Lord in all aspects and acknowledged that while she was sharing her thoughts, things that worked for her family, etc that ultimately we need to read the Bible and trust where God is leading our family instead of just copying what's working for another family. I also appreciate her thoughts on mediocre motherhood vs. biblical motherhood and I underlined many verses and plan to go back and journal through them and how I might use them as a wife and mama. I did not enjoy the extremely casual writing style and struggled to pick up the book to finish it at times because I felt like I was reading a very lengthy Instagram post.

[Clarissa Unruh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book with a group of friends for a book club of sorts. We all had babies within a 1 year span, some while reading this book. For me there was invaluable advice and direction in this book. The overwhelming directive is - Go to God. Pray. Read the Bible. Sure some person might have some good advice. But God… He’s got me covered. He gently guided those with young. I highly recommend this book to anyone going through the years of sleep deprivation and wildly fluctuating hormones. It’s a higher call, not a book to excuse mediocre behavior or let me off the hook…

[Laurie DelaCruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is so much noise out there, voices pulling at us, drawing us to a life of self-indulgence, self-involvement, etc. I'm so thankful for this book, that encourages us as mothers to, instead, search out God's definition of our role.

I appreciated the author's boldness in calling out sin as sin. Biblical principles are simple, but not always easy. It's helpful to have a book that encourages and exhorts.

[Katelynn O'Lessker · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be honest, I was surprised by how much I did not care for this book. I started following Abbie on IG when I noticed how many moms were reading and enjoying this book. She’s been someone I’ve enjoyed following and with whom I generally agree with about how Christian women should approach motherhood.

There were few things in the book that I disagree with her on, so much of my issue with the book is not necessarily content-related, but rather with the structure of the book as a whole and the ways in which the structure distracts from the content rather than bolstering it.

There does not seem to be much of a logical flow of argumentation throughout the book. Each chapter generally sticks to the theme of comparing and contrasting what she calls “mediocre motherhood” and “Christ-like motherhood.” The first several chapters focus on personal character and “mommy culture” while the latter portion dives into practical “how-to’s” over topics that seem to be FAQ from her social media. I didn’t finish the book with an ability to clearly summarize what she thinks is wrong with motherhood outside of a lot of areas she thinks we could be doing better in, with a smattering of “how-to’s” for accomplishing that. She’s not necessarily wrong, but the book is made up of multiple small arguments that are loosely tied together but don’t build upon one another to make a cohesive, ultimate argument.

While, I agree with her assessment of online mom culture that has seeped its way into our collective consciousness, I cringed a bit at some of the summary statements at the end of each chapter that were given the “mediocre motherhood” label or the “Christ-like motherhood” one. There seems to be a blurriness in what is categorized as sin and what is considered to be mediocre. I appreciate her desire not to wholesale label certain actions as sinful that are not objectively so, but much of each chapter is spent on categorizing (or heavily implying) these actions as sinful before putting them in the “mediocre” category at the end. Is our problem sin, or is our problem that we are simply not being excellent? I think she is arguing that a lack of pursuit of excellence is sinful, but because of the casual, conversation-style tone of the book, it can be hard to follow her flow of thought; which in turn makes the book feel very scattered.

I’m thankful that many mothers have been exhorted or encouraged by reading this book, the Lord has obviously used it to bless them. My challenge to those women would be this: are you putting yourselves under the discipleship care of older women in your church? Much of the truth in this book—including the practical advice—could be learned (and I might argue, should be learned) from the Titus 2 model in a local church body. That may mean opening yourself up in a way that is uncomfortable—actually inviting an older woman to speak into your life about what she sees you post online, what she observes of your attitude toward your husband and children, whether or not she sees a pattern of biblical faithfulness in your training and discipline of your kids. It involves asking questions of older women, even if you think they don’t understand the travails of modern motherhood or that their advice is outdated and irrelevant according to your latest research. A woman willing to enter into your life in this way will be able to answer your practical questions, admonish you when you are idle, encourage you when you are faint hearted, and help you when you are weak (1 Thessalonians 5:14), in a way this book can’t.

Personally, I remain more inclined to point women toward “Loving the Little Years” and “Fit to Burst” by Rachel Jankovic (as well as the What Have You podcast) for encouragement to persevere in mothering to the glory of God.

*I still appreciate Abbie and her use of social media to share her no-nonsense approach to pursuing God-honoring obedience in motherhood. I’m confident we have more in common than what we differ in, even though I didn’t love the way the message was packaged in this book. To be honest, my near constant thought while reading the book was that her message would have been better served by having a stronger editor. I wanted to like this book, and I would say I’m vaguely appreciative of it, but my assessment is that the high praise comes from women who are desperate to hear truth and see bad habits of motherhood called what they are rather than because the praise is warranted on the merits of the book itself.

[Shaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Going against the tide of cultural motherhood is hard. As the waves of:

...children are a burden... ...I'm not good enough.... ...love yourself first...
...can't wait till they go to bed/school... ...she's doing it better...
...if it doesn't feel good, don't... ...just get through it...

crash around you, it is all too easy to give in to the onslaught and go with the flow, even if you don't want to and know deep down that you can do better and are called to do so.

Society seems at once to say that you either need to wallow in the difficulties or constantly strive for unattainable Instagram/Pinterest standards. Both end in defeat and mediocrity.

But there's a better way! M Is for Mama: A Rebellion Against Mediocre Motherhood provides a rallying cry for mothers to join together in seeking Biblical truth as they embrace motherhood and part the cultural sea.

Her conversational writing style is easy and enjoyable to read and encourages mamas without shaming them. She clearly articulates why our culture's view of motherhood fails and contrasts it with the benefits of a Biblical view. But she doesn't stop there, leaving you motivated but without knowing how to go about it. While interweaving scripturally-based direction with lively writing and humorous anecdotes, she provides practical advice for the everyday challenges of motherhood.

Being a mama is HARD, but as Abbie says: "Hard is not the same thing as bad." This book helps give mamas the courage, wisdom, and tools to embrace the hard in the face of our culture and reap the rewards that come from perseverance and sacrifice.

Can't recommend it enough!