Donut Quest: A Bizarro Novelette

by Jerry Blaze

David is your average rubbery guy. After having his morning coffee, David realizes the best way to start the day is with a chocolate donut and decides to go to the donut bakery before they close at noon. However, the quest for donuts is fraught with perils that David finds himself in, each one crazier than the last.

Will David get his donuts or will he discover something better? Find out in Donut Quest!

32 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 25, 2024

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, this certainly delivered on the bizarro aspect of the title. David is a hysterical lead and his strange adventures just added to the fun. Two-twatted ladies, stretchy penises, crack pipes, and pet Moose?! Just a few of the funny tidbits included in here. I'm not really sure what the story was supposed to be about, but I don't think it was written with much purpose. Just lots of randomness and inappropriate content to make you chuckle and then question your morals. Fun way to start my day.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely bat shit crazy and feels like the fever dream of an 80's acid casualty.... that being said I did understand the protagonists need for Donuts or doughnuts. This was a really fun bizarre read that you can't take seriously you've just gotta go with it.

[Matty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was considering a vision quest this summer in Peru but instead I think I’ll smoke some crack and go on a donut quest. Fun read.

[Paige Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Jerry reached out to me asking if I’d be interested in his debut bizarro story it’s like everything else in my life seized to exist. If you know me, I love me a good bizarro story! I knew that Jerry could pull this off without a doubt and he freaking DELIVERED! 🙌

This story was unhinged as hell and the ending puts us in our feels. In a good way! 😊

David is made of rubber. He’s highly flexible. If ya catch my drift…😉

David is on a mission to score some chocolate donuts. Along the way he gets thrown into a maze of obstacles preventing him from getting said donut but in the end he gets his donut and MORE😍

I’m just going to keep it at that folks. Everyone needs to go into this one blind af like I did. If you enjoy bizarro then you absolutely need to read this one! Jerry Blaze this might be your debut in bizarro but I’d have never known otherwise. I hope to see more of this from you in the future. You made my kooky little heart so happy!

Don’t Quest is available now over on the Zon!

[Jessica Mays · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mr Blaze has really outdone himself with this story. His debut bizarro take had me laughing and questioning my sanity. David is a rubbery man. He can stretch and twist. He starts a walk to the donut shop for a chocolate donut to eat with his coffee...along the journey he meets beautiful women, saves lives, kills people, and just goes on a downward spiral of insanity. The ending will have you speechless! Highly recommend!

[baraa]

literal fever dream

[William Becker · Rating 3 out of 5]

What the hell, Jerry?? This was so… and I mean, so bizarre and irreverent I couldn’t pick between 5 stars and one star. I hated and also loved this. Sheesh

[Ali O · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donut Quest by Jerry Blaze
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
This is an entertaining and very bizarre novelette!! David, a very unique individual sets off on a morning quest for donuts and coffee. It turns out to be quite an engaging quest for him!
This book has humor, gore, sex, drugs and of course donuts! 🍩
I can say with confidence I’ve never read or heard of any book similar to this one. Truly an original!
This is one of those stories you just need to read. It’s a fun break from reality and gets your head spinning!
*It’s out now, so grab your book and 🍩!*

[Karm Barter · Rating 2 out of 5]

That was weird lol. Doughnut vaginas. Cat families were clothes. Crack pipes. I should have taken mushrooms before reading this.

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rubbery dude goes on a quest to get to the bakery that sells his favorite donut before they close at noon, but finds himself completing several side quests along the way. Completely bonkers. I love bizarro.

[The Yeti Reads and Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mmmmm donuts, who doesn't love a good donut? Just ask David.

Meet David, just your average guy enjoying his morning coffee. When he suddenly gets a craving for donuts. This urge propels our hero on a quest to satisfy his craving for that delicious treat, but the world has other plans for him. Will he make it to the donut shop before they close? Will the perils of life stop him?

Did I mention he has no bones?

Is there anything Blaze can't write? The man is a machine.An extremely enjoyable bizarro tale that will make you laugh out loud, cringe, and roll your eyes at the insanity that is Donut Quest. It's a quick and fun read that you should definitely give a go. Jerry packs big stories in small packages, and they are always a treat. Be sure to check this one out.

5 severed fingers out of 5

[Sara Lawrence · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first bizzaro read and being sir Blaze’s first one obviously I was gonna read it. And man, it’s really just. . . . bizarre, that’s oddly enough the only word that can describe this book. I am pretty sure I read the entire thing with my ‘what the fuck am I reading’ face frozen in place because it’s that trippy and unreal. The characters, the surroundings, the anatomical anomalies of which there are many by the way, all of it is just straight BIZARRE. And of course there’s sex, there’s violence, and gore because this is Jerry Blaze and he does it best but I am damn excited and hopeful to see him write more bizzaro novelettes because this was just all around fun af to read! I can’t recommend this one enough. MUST FREAKING READ!!!

[Shaun A.I.C. Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prepare yourself for a hilarious and bizarre whirlwind as Jerry Blaze’s "Donut Quest" takes you on a sugar-laden adventure that’s equal parts laugh-out-loud and utterly absurd! Blaze's writing is like a donut shop explosion—sweet & sticky!
With each chapter, the bizarre unfolds like a perfectly frosted donut, leaving you craving more absurdity. If you’ve ever wondered what happens when doughnuts and destiny collide, grab your coffee and dive into this deliciously weird tale. Just be prepared for the sprinkles—because this story is anything but ordinary! 🍩✨

[Tony splatterpunk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bizarre and brutal about a rubber man and his quest for chocolate donuts and the strange people that get in his way, something totally different from Jerry Blaze but a great short story 5/5

[Anthony Yaffe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy WTF???

If the prompt was to properly describe an acid trip snack run, I think Jerry really nailed it. If this wasn't prompted, I seriously wonder what goes on in his mind sometimes.

[John MacLean · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nonsense

I could not understand this writing. It appeared to me to be a splattering of words without a communicative intent.

[Amanda Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I must admit, I've not read much bizarro yet. Seriously, though, I've been missing out. I think JBlaze succeeds here spectacularly in subtly blending a few different philosophies with some Kafka-like moments of absurdity. But on the surface? It’s just a really fun read. I don't think a book has made me audibly chuckle like this one in a hot minute. The one-liners are comically epic.
Ex: "double-barreled (read it yourself, hehe)" is going into my vocabulary henceforth.

Meet David, our MMC. What is David? Good question.
If asked, my best description is the offspring of Gumby and Elasti-Girl from the Incredibles. His hobbies include getting lost in unexpected places, chivalrously defending women, and scoring as much unique snatch as he can get his rubbery grip on. He also appears to be contemplating the merits of owning a reefer-smoking pet moose, and it sounds like a stellar decision.

What is he serious about, you may ask?
Very little, it seems— besides chocolate donuts, which must be picked up before noon. David (the Deviant Donut Devotee) regales us with the tale of his unusual day, and oh dear, where shall I start? Hmm. Some unexpected unaliving techniques and, erm, weaponry (and here I thought chivalry was a lost art!)? A family of cats wearing their finest outfits? Or perhaps staring into the abyss via an unexpected. . ."hole?" (donut pun, ftw!) Either way, it’s a trippy race to his fav bakery. But what can I say- the trek to the bakery is about as bad as it gets. However, actually arriving at the bakery proves even worse for poor David. But when all seems lost, a chance encounter extends his quest, resulting in quite a surprise for David.

Maybe we get what we want when we surrender to the absurd nature of life.
It could be the "Best. Quest. Ever."

POV: MMC David
Ending: Absurdity Abounds - close enough to HEA, right?
Rating: 5/5

[JD · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great example of how blending genres, and using different literary techniques can create something unique or special, and that feat is no surprise, considering the depth of talent the author possesses.

True to its namesake, as soon as you think you understand the direction of the story - boom, new quest. From the main character to everyone in-between, care was taken in their development, and importance to the story. Even the concept itself is relatable, because most of us have a *donut story,* or an experience that took a weird, or absurd turn somewhere, even if it wasn't related to a quest for a donut.

This is the first book I've read after a long hiatus, and it was worth every minute.

[WTF did I just Read Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

David is a rubber man, and a pretty cool guy, if I do say so myself. Just a somewhat normal guy who is craving coffee and a donut. Heck that is me every day.
So of course, David sets out on his Bizarre trip to get just that. Like any important thing, he is interrupted causing him to take too much time. You see David’s a good guy and he sees crime on his way to the bakery, and he stops to help, making connections on his way.
David only has until noon until the bakery closes, will he get his donut?
Without spoilers I think the ending was as bizarre and perfect as this acid trip of a story!

[Z. Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book. It was a book. This book was the most bookiest book that ever booked.

I don’t really know what to say about this book. It was a wild trip all the way through. Throughout the entire narrative the character just kept you glued to the pages trying to see what in the hell they were going to do next. But honestly this story had some really good plot points to it and it was bizarre as hell. If you’re looking for a book that will mess with your head the entire way you’ve come to the right place.

[Alexa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m a huge fan of bizarro, but the writing in this was awful and unnecessary. Like, why did Madison (a woman with two cunts) just flash her vaginas to the main character (who’s a stranger, mind you) all while her CHILD WATCHED?!

There are a lot of inconsistencies in here, like her child being at school even though they are right next to her, and a woman named Crystal asking for his name even though he just said his name.

Just because you cram random shit into a book doesn’t make it a good book.

[Angela Occhino · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

[Matthew Gleason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donut Quest is a distillation of everything one would want in a work of its nature. The reader is thrown into a wild and cartoonish world that lives somewhere between Dr. Seuss and Hustler. The protagonist's surprisingly related goals (the pursuit of both sex and donuts) tie together a series of bizarre situations which otherwise would seem to be totally unrelated. This story feels like a brief glimpse inside a realm of infinite fun and absurdity.