Chutzpah: A Memoir of Faith, Sexuality and Daring to Stay

by Yehudis Fletcher

Wry and exhilarating, Chutzpah is a fearless exploration of what is possible when one person simply refuses to choose between abandoning their roots and abandoning themselves.

LONGLISTED FOR THE 2026 WINGATE PRIZE

"Clear-sighted and courageous, with an extremely dry sense of humour"
DAVID BADDIEL, author of Jews Don't Count

" Delightfully wry, moving, controlled, with a great instinct for pace and telling detail"
TLS

"A gutting, brave story, written with exquisite candour."
Dr. Sara Glass, author of Kissing Girls on Shabbat

Yehudis Fletcher was six years old when she decided to find out if there was actually a G-d.

One Sabbath evening, she dared to defy a fundamental rule. She didn’t wash her hands before breaking bread. At the table, Yehudis braced herself for a terrible, biblical being swallowed by the ground or consumed by fire. But nothing happened.

It was at this moment that she discovered a spark within that would grow to make her invincible.

As the daughter of a rabbi raised in an Orthodox Jewish community, Yehudis struggled to conform to the strict expectations placed upon her and her siblings. Outspoken, curious and desperate to know more about G-d, she felt fenced in by arbitrary rules and questions left unanswered.

As she grew older, these restrictions intensified and her questions for G-d hung heavier than ever. Repeatedly let down by those who were supposed to protect her and pushed on to a path that seemed to take her further away from who she really was, she began to yearn for a life where she could embrace all facets of herself.

When Yehudis’s sexuality came to blows with the expectations of her family and her community, the pressure to inhabit a binary position reached fever pitch. Confronted with either losing the faith she loved or losing herself, Yehudis made the most daring decision of she decided to stay.

“Chutzpah is a brilliant and fascinating insight into an ultra-orthodox Jewish community.”
Harriet Wistrich, author of Sister in Law

"Yehudis’s resilience is truly inspirational."
Ashley Blaker, author of Normal Schmormal

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Memoir, Judaism

282 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 22, 2025

Reviews

[jinkiswinkis · Rating 4 out of 5]

ate this up, don’t i love a memoir!

really interesting mix of dealing with trauma, sexuality, faith and all of the bruises that come along with it all. i loved the honesty and vulnerability here, and how yehudis describes her younger self, her journey through motherhood and also the (positive) influence of the internet on her story. a really inspiring story, im just glad she is alright

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating memoir of a childhood felt of to be void of sufficient attention, love and validation.
Horrific exposé of grooming and abuse.
The pain of being lost in a community and just wanting to belong.
Trying to fit in by marrying and having to conduct sexual relations unwillingly.
Achieving educational endorsement, introducing a much-needed service for the Charedi community and finally finding love and acceptance in her own life.

[Marcia Weekes-Spears · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Courage is contagious — and this book proves it.”

📚 Quick Summary (Spoiler-Free)

Chutzpah by Yehudis Fletcher is an unflinching, deeply personal exploration of life inside the Orthodox Jewish community. Blending memoir with social commentary, Fletcher sheds light on gender, power, and tradition, giving readers an intimate look at both the beauty and the challenges of belonging to a tightly knit faith community.

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💖 What I Loved
• Fletcher’s voice is brave, raw, and unapologetically honest — she doesn’t hold back from questioning long-standing practices while still showing deep understanding of her roots.
• The book offers a rare insider perspective that feels both intimate and universal, raising questions about identity, autonomy, and community that resonate far beyond the Orthodox world.
• It’s a fascinating and important read for anyone curious about faith, culture, and the cost of silence versus the power of speaking out.

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🌀 What I Struggled With

There were moments where the sheer intensity of the experiences described felt heavy — but that’s a testament to Fletcher’s candour rather than a flaw. It isn’t always comfortable reading, and nor should it be.

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💫 Favourite Line or Moment

“The greatest act of chutzpah is to believe your voice matters, even when the world insists it does not.”

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🎯 Who Should Read It

Readers fascinated by religion, gender dynamics, and cultural anthropology will find this riveting. It’s especially compelling for those who enjoy memoirs that challenge societal norms — think fans of Deborah Feldman’s Unorthodox.

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🧠 Final Thoughts

Yehudis Fletcher has written a fearless, thought-provoking book that lingers long after you close the pages. Chutzpah isn’t just a story about the Orthodox Jewish community — it’s about power, courage, and reclaiming your truth.

[Fraidy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful, brave memoir that brings nuance, colour and truth to a hidden world.

This memoir is a rare and powerful window into a world that’s often painted in black and white. Yehudis Fletcher brings it to life with honesty, depth and compassion, showing the complexity and humanity behind the stereotypes.

Her courage in telling her story stands out, as does the fierce integrity with which she’s lived it. She is a woman determined to build a life she can be proud of - for herself, her children and her community - without glossing over the pain or struggle it took to get there. Instead of walking away from the places that hurt her, she stays and does the hard work of change.

This memoir is a powerful call to action. The ripples from her story will inspire others to feel safe enough to use their voices and share their own stories.

It is both a personal journey and a universal one, touching on themes of community, family, relationships, sexuality, faith, feminism, parenting education and so much more. It will stay with you long after the final page.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this down. In her memoir, Yehudis describes her life growing up in Jewish Orthodox family, the restrictions, ignorance, naivety that led to sexual abuse and unsuitable marriages. Her family decided that sticking to the religious rules was more important than supporting her. The book gives insight into how religious beliefs can be misused, how people can hide behind those beliefs from the real world. The author has my utmost respect for her courage in writing this and for using her experience to help other people in similar situations. In Orthodox Judaism, it’s very much a man’s world still.

[Joanne Wadsworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed listening to this memoir! It was brave and unapologetic. I found it so inspiring that even after the hand Yehudis gets dealt in her life and with her family, brought up in a culture I didn’t know anything about before listening, she “threatens to stay” instead of fleeing her faith. Instead, she makes room for the things she finds important and is able to share that with so many people in her community, which I’m sure is a beacon of light for many.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very empowering read.

[Jackie Kingsley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating and enraging - Yehudis survives and thrives despite appalling husbands and possibly even more appalling family

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliantly written and interesting memoir. At times a horror story but full of hope.