Loud: Accept Nothing Less Than the Life You Deserve

by Drew Afualo (Author and Narrator)

Length: 6 hours 33 minutes

Drew Afualo is best known as the internet’s 'Crusader for Women' and is at the head of a new generation of entertainment’s rising stars, with more than nine million followers across her social platforms. She soon realized that men on social media were creating sexist content aimed at disparaging women, and also containing rampant fatphobia, racism, and other forms of bigotry with very real-life consequences. It didn’t take long for her to step into the role of unofficial watchdog for misogyny, and her signature laugh is now recognized as a feminist call to arms.

Loud is part manual, part manifesto, and part memoir. It is a summoning cry to rid the internet (and our hearts, minds, and lives) of 'terrible men' and create a space to fight outdated patriarchal ideals. Above all, it makes it clear that behind Drew’s fearsome laugh is a mission and a life philosophy, a strategy for self-confidence from the inside out, and a pathway to once and for all remove men from the centre of how women and fems think about themselves.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Memoir, Feminism, Self Help, Biography, Autobiography

Audiobook

First published July 30, 2024

Reviews

[kennedy parrish · Rating 5 out of 5]

i would pay taxes to her

[Ayman · Rating 5 out of 5]

my biggest flex is that i’m alive at the same time as this incredible woman.

[Bethany (Beautifully Bookish Bethany) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fantastic. I love Drew but she's still fairly young so I wasn't sure what to expect from a memoir. I'm several years older than her, but this is written like a big sister offering advice on life, dating, finding your voice, being true to yourself, and what to do when you mess up. Sprinkled in with pieces of her life. It's something I would hand to young women in their late teens and twenties quite readily. The feminism is intersectional in terms of race, sexuality, and gender identity and she talks about being Samoan throughout the book. The standout thing to me that I think applies when you're looking at criticisms of the content she makes is this- misogynistic men are afraid of being made fun of while women are afraid of being sexually assaulted or killed. These things are not the same and I find what Drew does to be incredibly empowering. Well worth a read and she reads the audiobook herself which is fun. I received an audio review copy via NetGalley, all opinions are my own.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

drew afualo, the woman you are.

If I had a physical copy of this book, it would look beat-up, and full of highlights and notes. And not in a cute way.

drew writes so well, formal yet informal, I felt like I was having a conversation with her. I felt that I was having a conversation with a big sister, someone who was forcefully, yet lovingly, reminded me I deserve better. I cannot recommend this book enough. she also includes her own experiences, and brought tears to my eyes. she is such a bright light in this world.

some of my favorite quotes from this (without making this review ten pages long)

"Now repeat after me: "No, I cannot fix him." And: "No it is not my job to.""

"The word "no" is a complete sentence."

"You are worth all the love and respect you put out into the world, and you are destined to receive it."

I can't wait to buy a physical copy and I too, will be thinking of Drew when I stand up for myself, sitting up straighter, shoulders back, chin up.

Thank you to NetGalley and Farrar, Straus and Giroux for the ARC!

[julia jean · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5✨ sighs…let me start by saying that I am not familiar with Drew Afualo. Ive seen her on the internet a few times & think she’s funny, makes great content, but am not a follower. I just love a memoir! This however was not quite that? Or maybe it was? Idk a lil “my story” but a lotta preaching so I almost DNF’d. I audiobooked it which made it easier to finish as her voice is calming, but had I been physically holding it, I wouldve ditched it.

Everything she says in this book is real! True! Correct! I just don’t think I was the target audience. This felt very preachy about basic feminism and not taking shit from crap men. Which again, period! But just all felt so elementary to me. This would be great for a preteen audience or teen audience. Perhaps for those also in their 20s, but again everyone is at a different point in their journey so if you are needing affirmations about your worth and men being insecure then this is for you nd it will definitely hype you up! I also feel you can get that type of affirmation from so many other books that exist right now, so I just felt that this didnt address any gaps in that sense, but am glad there is Samoan representation and appreciated the beautiful ways she discussed the culture and community.

If anything, this made me want a book written by her mother? Like who is this icon! Give me a parenting guide/memoir ! That is what I feel could’ve been a stronger book and bigger impact but alas! Maybe next time. Keeping an eye out for Mama Afualo’s book

[ellie · Rating 2 out of 5]

girl mentioned being a virgo 10 too many times

[Kaylor · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

This was a bit tough to get through. Although I enjoyed hearing Drew’s personal stories and learning more about her, the book was VERY repetitive and at times very cringy. A lot of slang and TikTok speak was put into this which I think will age the book pretty poorly. I agree with most if not all of Drew’s opinions and notions but I found it hard to get behind her as the champion for all women. Everyone is at a different place in their journey of self love and acceptance and I can see how Drew is someone many look up to as a guide on how live with authenticity and integrity but I feel that it didn’t translate well into a book and just wasn’t for me.

[Hallie Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

5🌟 audiobooked this ofc. I always love audiobooking memoirs, especially when they are narrated by the author! I loved it sm, it felt very coming of age and I loved getting to hear more of her upbringing and backstory as a fan her content already!

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley.

It's easy to call this a modern feminist manifesto - a bit memoir, a bit self-help, and every page a call to action to influence your world for your own well-being, and by extension, the well-being of others. If all you know of Drew is that she drags misogynistic dudes on the internet, you'll have missed everything else she puts out into the world, and this book allows that side of her to come out: the woman, the ally, the one who has your back, and the one who believes in the sisterhood of women and femmes.

While I have a decade on her, there are valuable lessons and reminders in this book for any age. Whether it's about decisions around work, life, romance, friendships, bodies, and society, the reminder to fight the boxes the patriarchy wants to shove us into is an important one. The reminder that we have to work on ourselves but should never hesitate to recognize we don't have to do it alone is a powerful one as well. In the end, you'll have laughed with Drew, cried with and for her, and feel like you're not alone in some of the things you think, feel, and dream.

It's like reading an encouraging letter from the most baddie friend you have, and you should take every single word to heart. This is an entry-level text on unlearning the confines of the patriarchy, and hopefully a stepping stone for so many women and femmes in this world to explore it more.

[Madi · Rating 5 out of 5]

drew is who i want to be when i grow up.

[Isabella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this book at all. I’ve always loved Drew and I always will.

I wasn’t expecting this to be more of a self help style book, but for me it was. It gave me a crap-ton of confidence and insight into how I view myself as a woman and how I do not hold much value for myself. I’ve never been confident or even liked myself at all, and I think that stems from the society we’re growing up in.

I think what is so important to recognize while reading this is to go into it with an open mind and understanding that everyone is on a different path and course in their journey and their understanding of how to be a feminist. Or even how to just be a better person who stands up for and sticks up for women/femmes.

This is an essential reading for women/femmes who are in their self doubt and pick me eras. What we need to get, as women, is that life was never supposed to be easy for us, but that’s okay, because we can always come out in the end strong and resilient. While reading this book, it was easy for me to relate to things that Drew has been through and to recognize that it’s essential to believe that I, as a woman, am worthy of respect and love and so are other women/femmes.

I respected and enjoyed that Drew did not leave out trans women/femmes, and non binary individuals and also included those of color, different body types, the LGBTQ+ community. Each and every one of you is worthy of love and respect. Never let a man drag you down. He’s not worth it unless he loves and respects you and you’ll understand if he really does when you read this book!

This book helped me to realize that I do matter and I’m worth it and so is every woman/femme reading this! I love you all 🩷🩷🩷

[gabi · Rating 3 out of 5]

i don’t like to rate memoirs, but this book ended up being more self-help/advice rather than memoir so i’m gonna rank it
3 ⭐️
i love drew and i love her content online and she always makes me cackle. throughout Loud, drew does a very good job of maintaining true to her voice and who she is but also adapts her writing for the more formal media! i do think if you are in your teen years, this book is perfect for you - drew takes on a very big sister tone and explains things such as misogyny, pick-me behavior and more. but at 22, i sometimes found myself being bored or disconnected - a) because the content drew writes about are things i have already discovered/learned through my own time and experience (so all of the regurgitation of advice wasn’t for me) & b) because every chapter somehow kept touching on the same points every time and i was like having dejavu the entire time due to the drew’s reuse of sentences. highly recommend for girls in highschool as i think they are the perfect audience for this, but once you’re in your 20s this is all (hopefully) shit you already know (ex. pick me behavior isn’t good, just be yourself, it’s okay to not want to have children, male-dominated spaces, etc). i definitely expected more memoir energy.

song: truth hurts - lizzo (drew made a spotify playlist for this book so i pulled from that)

[Melissa Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt like a healthy conversation between girl friends!! ❤️❤️❤️

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not a big memoir or non-fiction reader, but I admire Drew so much I knew I had to give her book a chance. And wow, is it phenomenal. I finished this feeling so empowered!

A couple of my fav quotes:

“There’s a big difference between being lonely and being alone. Loneliness is not permanent, it’s an emotion.”

“I am not lonely. I’m alone. And there is nothing wrong with that.”


“Remember: nothing scares a man more than a woman who knows she does not need him.”

[Olivia (Stories For Coffee) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Drew has been an inspiration to me for years now. Her unapologetic voice inspires me to use my own to defend myself and others around me, and this memoir is no different. Her approachable look at feminism in today's landscape is encouraging, inspiring, and I am grateful for her presence online and in the entertainment world.

A wonderful debut I'll be thinking about for years to come.

[Kirsten Flaherty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Agree with the message of story 100% but it was sooooo repetitive

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 1 out of 5]

[Monica Haak · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks NetGalley for the e-ARC! I like Drew Afualo, and so did I like the book. Like, not love. I did learn new things about her and I inspire the way she handled a lot that came about in her life, but at the same time I didn't feel like it was adding much to what she already shares as a social media gal.
It did feel like she was reading the book to me, while reading it myself, meaning she really managed to put her own voice in this book! And, like we know our Drew, she did manage to add some jokes without taking the attention off of the important matters. I'd say well done, but it didn't wow me as I hoped it would. Also felt a bit slow sometimes and... Categorized as "self-help" I'd say it was a bit too personal chitty chatty and not so much of advice that you as a reader could use for your own life.

[Bailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely not what I was expecting. I was hoping for a humorous memoir with some heartfelt life lessons. This was kind of like Beginner’s Feminism 101 told incredibly earnestly from someone with the exact same viewpoints as me.

If you had a healthy childhood led by a powerful mom, this will probably just repeat the phrases you’ve heard your whole life.

TY to Macmillan Audio & NetGalley for the advanced copy of the audiobook.

[Darien Olson · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a cis, gay man, I don’t know that I was exactly the intended audience for Drew’s book (even if I exist on the more femme end of the spectrum). This book came recommended from a trusted friend, and I really wanted to like it. I just feel that it missed the mark in ways.

The most compelling parts of her narrative are when she uses examples from her own life to illuminate the intersectional systems of power and domination. The lived experiences are real and raw, but much of the rest of the book reads more like a textbook. It’s a “Women’s Studies 101” in a way that feels a bit inauthentic compared to her natural storytelling abilities. As someone who has studied the works of intersectional scholars like Crenshaw, Hill Collins, hooks, and many other Black feminist theorists, it fell short of the goal of collective liberation in favor of critiquing masculinity and existing systems of power rather than working to change, reimagine, or abolish it—which, if we’re being honest, is Drew’s brand and what she’s made a very successful career of.

Chapter 10 was especially problematic for me. I understand the fighting fire with fire metaphor of body shaming men who body shame women, but, in practice that is ineffective and only perpetuates the problem. To capitalize on a man’s “small feet and small dick” is inherently flawed as a tool to counteract comments on women’s bodies. This is a conversation in circles of “body positivity” or “body neutrality” that I think so many miss, and it leaves men (gay, straight, queer, etc.) who would be allies feeling alienated. At least, for me, and the intersections of my identities and lived experiences, this came across as a bit condescending from someone who spends so much of the book saying she’s an advocate for all femmes.

[Klara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not my usual type of read but after watching/listening to Drew empower women and roast (shitty) men on TikTok, I thought I’d give it a go. Is it a literary masterpiece? No - but it doesn’t intend to be. Was it enjoyable and inspirational? Absolutely. I now have a greater respect for Drew and her advocacy for all women, POC, LGBTIQ communities, and other marginalised groups.

“You can’t feel emasculated If your self validation doesn’t come from over powering women”.

“Women pushing other women down to uplift men only pits women against one another and props them up as nothing more than accessories in the lives of men”.

“If your approach to connecting with anyone, not just men, is based on superiority, that will never provide a foundation for a meaningful relationship of any kind”.

“Human beings are capable of cooking and cleaning and however they ‘identify’ doesn’t effect their ability to do so”.

Also, ladies, just don’t be a ‘PICK ME’!!

[Kate Whitley · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Fuck being cool and fuck being chill. If the reward for being the coolest girl in the room is a sliver of attention from the world’s most mediocre men then I would happily commit to never being cool and never being chill."

anyways y'all should read this book for this quote alone. drew ate.

[Brittany · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book felt so elementary and repetitive.

It would be best for a teenager, but otherwise…I would never recommend this.

[LaceyBanana Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not only has Drew made us laugh countless times, but she’s brought me to tears with her beautifully written memoir. I’ve watched Drew’s career bloom over the last few years and it was so nice to learn about how she got to where she is which heavily involved her family dynamic. I loved learning about her culture and how strong each person surrounding her is resulting in the confident, protective, and strong individual she is today. She didn’t just run with it, she wants everyone else to feel that way too. She is so inspiring and I hope to be able to implement some of these thought processes in my life!

This audiobook was narrated by the author and I loved getting to hear it in her voice. I did miss the cackling but I’ll listen to anything she reads!

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Drew Afualo, and Macmillan Audio for providing this free ARC. This is my honest review! This publishes on July 30th!

[Katie Swartzer · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 ⭐️ I love drew and I love her content. I agree with everything she says in this book. I just think the style of writing and language usage was not my favorite. Something about it was really hard for me to enjoy.

I think this would be an excellent book for younger people that have less life experience and need some guidance in terms of self confidence and feminism.

Again, love Drew. Did not love this book.

[DeannaReadsandSleeps · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the feminist commentary was nothing new to me personally, I still found myself nodding along, especially throughout the audiobook hearing it spoken in her very familiar voice (she narrates it!). I definitely enjoyed the more personal aspects of it, like what her family means to her, and some of her story as to how she became the Drew we all know and love. I dunno, I just think she’s fun!

[Becca Maree · Rating 5 out of 5]

I opened this book and Drew's iconic laugh came out like it was one of those singing greeting cards.

[Esmeralda Yu · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Too repetitive for me and although I love Drew and her videos, It was pretty difficult to get through this book hence why im not going to finish.

[Luke Kono · Rating 4 out of 5]

✒︎4 stars

If you don't know who Drew Afualo is, she is an online creator and influencer who is most popular on TikTok. She blew up on TikTok around 2020 after she had been fired from her corporate job. Drew is known for calling out bigoted- most commonly, misogynistic- men online. Her videos are quite controversial to many due to her use of body shaming to make fun of men who leave hateful- and even violent- comments directed not only her, but other women and marginalized people online. I've always had mixed feelings about Drew's content, which I won't get into here since I'm here to review her book, not her TikToks, though the two are connected.

Loud is in part a memoir, but can also read like a self-help book at points. Since Drew was only 28-29 when this book was released, it is not filled with troves of content about her own life. Drew sometimes uses her own life experiences to create explanations for why she makes her kind of videos online, or for why she is so outspoken for marginalized people. I personally enjoyed these parts of the book the most. Drew explores her Samoan identity and her relationships with her family, boyfriend, and herself. I really loved the chapter about her sister's coming out story. The rest of the book feels, as others have described, like a big-sister giving a pep talk to her younger sibling. Drew's writing voice is very endearing and it's very easy to connect to her story and messages.

I did find Drew's exploration of feminism to be a bit rudimentary. It definitely has a place for younger audiences, no doubt. I definitely think this book would have been an important listen for me if I had it when I was 14, for it's not just a lesson on feminism and the patriarchy, but a good resource for how to stand up for and accept yourself. I don't, however, consider Drew to be the most radical leftist, so from my standpoint, I felt like the book would have benefited from more discussions on other systems of oppression that are deeply intertwined with the patriarchy, like capitalism and colonialism. I don't expect for Drew to write a book about being a political revolutionary or something, I just appreciate these discussions being included when we're talking about feminism, LGBTQ rights and so on, especially when Drew has built a lot of her brand on intersectionality.

In the end though, the book did what it set out to do, and it was an enjoyable read. I have mixed opinions on Drew's videos, so I really appreciated the chapter further explaining why she chooses to "be mean" to terrible men. Overall, Loud helped me connect with Drew and her messaging more, but I wish I personally could have gotten more out of it.

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[Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book but this is one of the best memoirs I've read. Love her online and the book is a 6 star read for sure.