sorry all this one was just NOT it for me. it was essentially 240 pages of in-depth character study and yet by the end of it i still could not bring myself to care about lydia's motivations or dreams or like, literally anything about her. lydia essentially floats through the book in a mire of self-pity and pseudo-existential musings, and i could vibe with that if that was the intention and it was played up as the focus of the book, but it's not - i'm pretty sure lydia is meant to be a fully fleshed out, smart character that we can empathize with and root for. i could not. she is not. she was bland and forgettable enough that i had to look up what her name was because i forgot even though i finished this book like three days ago.
yeah this book was a disappointment pretty much all around. there were some bright spots - i enjoyed the writing style although the dialogue tended to fall flat, and while the vampire lore seemed to be intentionally obscure i liked what little we learned about the vampires. when the author really dove into the concept of Hunger with a capital H it worked and i really liked it, but for a book titled woman, eating there really was not that much discussion of hunger and the vilification of women's desires like i was hoping for.
things i really didn't like: the characters! i've discussed my issues with lydia (although let me add that she is a pretentious artist interning at an art gallery at new york, who seems to somehow have an endless font of money to pull from from selling her father's paintings despite the fact that she's paying for her mother to be a live in resident at a nursing home which is like, whatever, okay, do we not have enough stories about wealthy young artists in new york? no? okay), but the side characters fall equally flat throughout the story. ben is one of the other characters who appears frequently, another artist who lydia meets at the studio she's renting and ends up developing feelings for (because he's the first man she's ever befriended in her life). his entire personality is that he's sweet and awkward and kind of an idiot (lydia even mentions that she's surprised by his art being smart because she'd viewed him as kind of stupid the entire time she's known him, which does make me question why she's suddenly in love with him!!). that's the extent of his character depth.
there's a rotation of fellow artists at the studio building who lydia befriends, most of whom have personalities that can be summed up in one word. again, this could be a conscious choice to show that lydia is so isolated from society that she doesn't view the humans around her as actual people EXCEPT that lydia herself is also two-dimensional and so is her vampire mom who she trauma bonded with.
so the characters suck. the plot also felt weird and all over the place to me - i know it's meant to be a character study but the pacing is just not there? it's also inconsistent: lydia has a moment of panic about not being with her mom who was her only companion for the first time in her life and then just never really thinks about it again, she falls in love with ben after speaking to him twice, the art gallery internship is played up to be this big thing and then we only hear about it like three times. it's just jumpy and weirdly paced.
i also really hated everything to do with ben and his girlfriend? like it was just weird. lydia is like no i'm friends with his girlfriend, i really like her! and then she not only has sex with ben, she has this extended daydream where she's like "maybe we could be poly" and then she immediately goes "actually what if i killed and ate his girlfriend so i can be together with this bland idiot white man for the rest of time because we had sex once and it was so good that it almost cured me of being a vampire!" it just feels weird and gross especially given that ben's girlfriend is described by ben as being too ambitious because she wants to be a successful artist?? and then she's given like zero actual personality traits beyond getting in the way of lydia and ben having a relationship, which is like, however you dress it up with the vampire thing that's still just a basic boring straight romance plot.
[side note: after lydia has sex with ben she goes on this philosophical spiral where she says a part of ben is "inside her" and she imagines a "barren path inside myself, my womb a derelict cavern, my ovaries like sad, egg-less nests." i don't think i need to explain why i hate this so much. that's straight romance written by a man level bad writing. i never need to see a woman protagonist out of the blue bemoaning her barren womb and childless existence EVER AGAIN thanks.]
as i mentioned before, the dialogue tended to fall flat - i enjoyed the descriptive parts of the writing but as soon as the characters opened their mouths it sounded pretentious and scripted. a lot of the scenes had promise and were good conceptually but the way they were executed made them feel stiff and almost laughable? like the scene where claire finally accepts her identity as not just half vampire half human, but as a whole creature - this is expressed through her painting the puppet she's bonded with first as a demonic creature, then as a human, then as something in between. like you just could not get any more obvious, in your face, LOOK SHE ACCEPTS HERSELF NOW than that.
also lydia definitely has an eating disorder which could've been REALLY COOL combined with the vampirism and her mother making her eat pigs' blood because she believes that vampires are demons and they don't deserve anything better and her longing to eat like a human - it has all the setup to be a really interesting plot point and then it's just. not. like it's mentioned a couple times that she purposefully doesn't eat and she watches these videos of humans eating as a form of self-harm but it's never really addressed properly? which was sad because it could've been really cool.
anyways the only part of this novel that i actually really enjoyed was the ending. i feel like it was wrapped up in a semi satisfying way, there's resolution with the creepy art gallery director, lydia has a bit of a character change that makes her much more interesting in my opinion? i really liked the ending. however the last five pages don't make up for the absolute slog that is the rest of the book. would not recommend.