F*ck Me: A Memoir

by Arielle Miller

It’s hard enough to pick up the pieces after a terrible divorce and ‘get back out there’ to start dating again in your forties; it’s nearly impossible in the city of Los Angeles, where youth, beauty, and celebrity reign supreme. However, if you can forget the expectations you had for your life and tune out the expectations everyone else has for you… dating can be entertaining, hilarious, and even fun!

At least, that was Arielle's experience as she navigated the bizarre and surreal modern dating world, sampling everything on offer, all the while upholding her pristine image as a traditional PTA mom, and inwardly rebuilding her self-esteem and self-worth, and stalwartly hiding her secret life from her three young children.

F*ck A Memoir depicts the journey of a single mother from broken and hopeless, to fierce and passionate. Honest, raw and no-holds-barred, this tell-all memoir graphically details the foibles, humiliations, triumphs, unlikely encounters, oddball characters, great love and even greater sex experienced along the way.

Genres: Memoir

343 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 1, 2025

About the author

Arielle Miller is an author and stay-at-home mom living in Los Angeles with her three children and two dogs. She holds a B.A. from UC Berkeley and an M.A. from Tel Aviv University. Arielle spent most of her early career as an educator, writer, and editor. She is also a certified birth and postpartum doula (CD, PCD).

In January, 2025, Arielle published her first memoir entitled, F*ck Me: A Memoir, which depicts her journey from newly divorced, broken and hopeless, to fierce, strong and passionate!

Her fictional debut is set to be released in 2027!

Learn more: https://linktr.ee/arielle_miller_author

Reviews

[Delaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

F*ck, I Read This Memoir and There Isn't Even A Second One Out Yet!

This is a memoir following the author, Arielle Miller. She is in her forties and is a divorced, single mom of three and a few dogs. Now to say dating after getting divorced with any amount of children is hard, that is an understatement. In this book, we get an all expense paid trip, first class, front row seat into how Arielle navigated her dating life.

Arielle writes her memoir like she's your best friend. She comes off as someone you can talk to about anything and everything without worrying about being judged. That's how raw, open and honest this memoir is.

But although the book was a 5-star read, it showed how dating (men in particular) are today. The amount of love-bombing, emotional manipulation, and ghosting shows that this kind of behavior is quite literally everywhere. It is sad and disappointing that those men are also in a variety of age ranges as well.

Arielle and I may not be the same age, and we may go about intimacy very differently, but I enjoyed every second. Maybe it's a single mom thing, or maybe the journey was just THAT interesting, but either way, I connected with the emotional vulnerability and ate every word up.

I think every female should get a taste of this book, because who knows! Life can truly be more unpredictable than we can ever imagine.

Pre-Read
So excited to read one of my online author friend’s books! We have similar backstories, so I’m sure this book will absolutely hit home!

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome memoir and first work by author Arielle Miller! I enjoyed the sexy stories 🌶️ about her dating exploits, but even more the frankness and details she offers about navigating being newly single in your forties - in L.A. - with three kids. Arielle seems to be kicking ass doing all of these things! 😎

[Alexw · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars-best book I have read in 3 years. One of the pluses of Goodreads is that you get to read an author's debut book & recognize brilliance when you read it. This autobiographical book by Arielle Miller fits in this category as she describes the dating scene in LA.
In just a few paragraphs, you find yourself cheering for her when she is happy & when she gets jilted, you want to grab the guy by the throat & yell" You idiot-you just let the best thing that will ever happen to you get away!"
Throw in Arielle's sex drive which she accurately describes as insatiable & her lovemaking scenes were beautifully described as mind-blowing. My favorite erotic was Nina Jones, Debt but Arielle has beat Debt for erotica.
Do yourself a favor and buy this novel so in 5 years you can brag to others that you were one of the first to read her debut novel because her next books will be at the top of every bestseller lists.

[Ronald Schulz · Rating 5 out of 5]

F*ck me is, as the title suggests, a wild romp of a sexual memoir, shameless in all the right ways, and I found it refreshing to read her brave, unblushing account of her adventures. She took me into a woman’s honest perspective on what, or who, turns her on in a way that many of her gender shy away from describing with such detail.
After her divorce, she realized that she had let herself go and began getting back in shape. She wanted to be more than a frumpy single woman with children, so she burst out of the shell of motherhood to socialize, date, and open herself up to new sexual experiences, like Bondage and Discipline. Hurrah, she realized that being tied up and spankings, among other things that she hadn’t tried before, turned her on.
The men, however, satisfying to her as they may have been in a purely sexual way, often seemed too self-absorbed and unable to express or even understand their emotions and wants. They were unable to even make time for her in their schedules. I couldn’t help wondering what was wrong with these guys, some with such fragile egos they even rejected her generous offer of a blow job. What is wrong here? Many of her male and female companions were seeing therapists. I’m not opposed to counseling, but if people don’t progress beyond seeing themselves as victims, it becomes merely a crutch of self-pity.
The author comes from a different time and social class than I, a child of the sixties. It felt more honest and emotive than the artificial world of dating apps, texting, and emojis. Oh-oh, I live here now too, and yes, the alienated modern world is turning us all into Homo Economicus, worker bees with no real time for playing with each other. I want better for her and her men, and look forward to her follow-up book. Please, ma’am, can I have another? Pretty please and thank you!

[Alex Roy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a brutal honest look at the world we live in right now and the struggles of being a woman in the dating world. Arielle writes about the good, the bad, and dirty of dating after divorce. If you want to read something that will have you giggling, panting, and gasping it’s a must read.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing memoir about the raw dating and sex life after marriage and coming back to yourself after giving so much to your family for so long! It was funny, spicy, and real! An awesome read :)

[Steve Goldsmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arielle Miller employs her sharp wit, keen ear, and incredible journey to both entertain and excite.

Her memoir is raw, honest, matter-of-factly erotic, and tremendous read. I came away quite certain that every man that I know, and about half the women, would fall in love with her at first sight.

She tells the story of her failed marriage leading to a new life, a true life, that would have passed her by if she had settled for the day-to-day. She never presents as victim, always as victor.

On a more personal note, my first book was a memoir. I opted to publish it as biographical literary fiction, in order to distance myself from the pain of the many revelations. The moment that read the last page of F*ck Me, I re-categorized my book as memoir. Her strength actually empowered me to own my own story.

Because I am the only one who can.

Bravo, Arielle Miller! I am ready to beta read, purchase, and review your upcoming fiction work!

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its difficult to rate memoirs because, how do you rate someones life? I enjoyed the stories, the honesty and rawness laced within. I admired the sexual freedom she celebrates and the growth of going from "wife,mom" to "individual" and reconciling the balance of nourishing yourself without guilt.

That being said, the writing was a little choppy. Some parts seemed cut off or incomplete. I imagine I would have loved to hear these stories in person but it's didn't translate well to written form.

[Adam Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fabulous book! Love a good spicy sex scene and the dating stories had me in stitches 😂 Definitely worth the read!

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all women regardless if you are single, divorced or married. I could not stop reading this juicy sexy hilarious book. I read it in 3 days. It is an honest raw accurate account of her post divorce dating journey. I didn’t want the book to end and I hope she writes a second book so I can find out what happens next. Buy this book for all your girlfriends!

[John Irby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This was the most bizarre non-fiction book I have ever read. The author provides an unfiltered view inside her dating adventures after getting divorced. But I'm surprised this book even made it through the algorithm nannies, especially given the controversial title.

A divorced mother of three, she doesn't spend too many words describing her time married to her ex. Instead, she focuses on her recovery from the divorce and putting herself out into the dating world at age forty. Being in the Hollywood orbit, her dating preferences tend to be among the narcissistic creatives, some younger than her, some older.

She enthusiastically explores the sensual world again, which had gone stale during her previous marriage. To me, the author is like a shapeshifter, she pursues partners like an alpha, but turns into a beta-submissive when she finds a boyfriend. It's an interesting dichotomy.

If you are looking for garden variety smut, this won't be your jam. This is also not some typical, sanitized celebrity memoir or autobiography. Instead, this is a thought-provoking book where the author bravely allows readers to get inside her head. I found it fascinating.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't really know what I was expecting with this book; I saw a few reviews about it on Goodreads and was immediately intrigued. I married young and got divorced myself after sacrificing most of myself for my husband and family; thinking I had my whole future figured out. Unfortunately, I didn't and don't have anyone close to me that has had a similar experience and based on the synopsis I felt it was something I could relate to. I have to say there was a lot in this book that I identified with; having to figure things out in a new dating world, having new experiences with different people, juggling a social life as a single mom. The biggest thing was when she was really trying to find a piece of herself for herself, and that gave a bit of insight into my own struggles with finding a new place in the world. I did enjoy her honesty and candor. This was not only honesty with those around her but also honesty with herself, which I think can be the hardest. How many times as women do we wrap our self worth in what others think of us, especially men? She explored this within herself. How many times do we allow someone we love to hurt us before we are ready to let them go? Is the love we have for others more important than the love we should have for ourselves? These were all things that she explored and it gave me some things to think about. I appreciated the ending, it seems that most stories that start out as hers did, the woman at the end has the answers to everything and she's found everything she's been looking for in one person. We all know real life doesn't work that way. I am most of all relieved at how she handled the "Ex-boyfriend"; its beyond me how he could say he ever loved her and ending things the way she did was nothing short of poetic. This is not a genre that I would usually take the time to read and I am relieved that I did. Its definitely given me some introspection to my own life.

[Elara · Rating 4 out of 5]

F*ck Me isn’t just a book—it’s an invitation to burn every “good girl” rule you’ve ever been handed and set your desires on fire. It’s the memoir equivalent of turning up the volume on your favorite playlist and blasting it through the speakers of your life, no f*cks given, and zero desire to be polite.

Sensual? Please. This is wildly sensual—the kind of sensual where the author doesn’t just dip her toes in the water like a dainty flower—she jumps in like she’s auditioning for the Olympics in cannonballing possibly singeing her eyebrows off. The waves? Oh, they’re massive. The heat? You might need a fire extinguisher. If you’re easily scandalized, might I suggest you put your pearls back in their box before you burn them with the intensity of this narrative?

After her divorce (because what else would light the match to ignite this kind of reawakening?), she’s like a flaming goddess reborn from a pile of frozen dinners and stretchy pants. Her story doesn’t try to wrap itself in fancy literary flourishes to impress you. No, this is a real woman—divorced, messy, hungry for life, and ready to embrace the hell out of her sensuality.

Think of this book as her X-rated rebirth, and you? You lucky voyeur, you get to witness every single scorching detail of it.

And then, the men. Oh, sweetie, the men. They’re like a buffet of undercooked, emotionally unavailable pieces of man-meat. At first glance, they look delicious. They’re like the main course at a 5-star restaurant—until you take a bite, and realize they’re as emotionally cooked as a paper towel. The fact that these guys think they can show up, be good in bed, and then leave their emotional IQ in another zip code is chef’s kiss both infuriating and hilarious.

This book isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for anyone who’s tired of playing by the rules, tired of pretending that “good” is synonymous with “boring,” and ready to embrace the chaotic, sensual, messy and "oh-so-liberating" freedom of living in a world where you’re finally in charge.

**ARC received in exchange for an honest review.

[M.A.R. Pereira · Rating 5 out of 5]

"F*ck Me" is a raw, fearless memoir about picking up the pieces after a painful separation and redefining life in your forties.
I'm going through a rough time myself, and even as a man, I found myself relating deeply to her journey, the confusion, the heartache, the wild search for self. Arielle is brutally honest, especially when talking about her relationships and sexuality, and she never shies away from the messier parts of healing.

By the time I finished, I couldn't help but think: Goddamn, how open-minded and independent is this, Arielle Miller? The answer? A hell of a lot.

If you're going through a rough time, feeling lost, or just need to see someone survive and thrive on their own terms, this memoir is a must read.

Highly recommended.

[Cindy Neighbors · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes! I loved it! Disclaimer is that I was more interested in the Viking so I did focus more on his chapters and need to go back and re-read some more...a lot of things I read about her personal interactions with these male types sounded all too familiar... I caught myself wondering... WAIT, did we date the same guy!?!?! Horrifying!!! I know.... but I'm pretty sure we didn't! Lol... I hope. Just kidding. Seriously, why are all guys the same! I loved her candor and vulnerability. Look forward to reading more from Arielle.

[R.C. Munro · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a fellow author, I truly appreciate the courage and candor in Fck A Memoir. Arielle’s journey through heartbreak, healing, and rediscovery is told with humor, grit, and a refreshing lack of filter. The Los Angeles dating scene is a wild ride, and this memoir captures every twist with vivid storytelling and emotional honesty. While some parts are deliberately provocative, they serve a greater purpose showing how reclaiming one’s identity doesn’t always look the way society expects. A daring and empowering read for anyone starting over.

[Jay Clayton · Rating 4 out of 5]

3 and ½ stars

I tend not to read a lot of memoirs unless some aspect of the person's life or the person themself is largely appealing to me. This memoir definitely met this criteria and I am glad I read it! I love how raw and honest Arielle is throughout her story. If she messes up, she owns it. If she needs to be blunt and direct, she does it. She really goes for what she wants throughout the run of the story and it truly is empowering to see a woman who has different things working against her to take control of her life and go full force after what she truly wants!

That said, there are a few small criticisms I have to make:

For one, I get that the book is all about the next big chapter in Arielle’s life and reclamation of what was previously repressed, but I would have loved to have more of an understanding of what she was like before she became a hyper-sexual badass. It might not have suited the book too well to dig into TOO much of her past life, but there is much that suggests that there would be much that complicates her dating life being a recently divorced single mother in her forties that I don’t think we see much of. To be perfectly honest, there wasn’t much of anything that made Arielle’s dating life look much at all different from that of any other single woman in her forties. I wanted to see more of Arielle then versus Arielle now.

It was also a bit hard to keep track of all her different suitors, especially the ones that would get mentioned briefly only to then reappear in much later chapters. The added difficulty is the fact that many of these male suitors start to blend together after a while. (There wasn’t much that distinguished the writer, from the producer, from the actor, from the olympian etc.)

It was all in all a great read. I like that the book opens up by saying there is no Hollywood ending where Arielle finds the man of her dreams and lives in a palace over-looking a perpetual sunset. It sets you up to go into the book with the understanding that the journey is the most important part, as this is where the most growth and self-discovery can be found.

[Blazie Rivers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fck Me: A Memoir, is the rawest, realest, and most refreshingly honest memoir I’ve ever read. This isn't just a "I'm just gonna tell everything" kind of book, it's bold, funny, sexy, painfully honest and unexpectedly empowering. With unapologetic humor and emotional depth, Arielle Miller dives into everything, heartbreak, motherhood, sex (yes, a lot of sex) and figuring who she is. You’ll laugh, cringe, tear up, and maybe even re-evaluate your own ideas of sex, love, and starting over. A must read for anyone who's ever had to rebuild themselves and dared to do it with fire.

Thank You Arielle, for writing such a book, love you!

[Patrick D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Books can be like lovers; some, you take to pound town only to get rid of’em, others, you want to take your time with, to consider each word on the page, allowing your mind to linger freely on a particularly juicy passage that gets you reevaluating your own life’s choices, outlooks, etc. Even if your intention, as the reader, was to pound your way through, F*ck Me, to live vicariously through salacious stories, it would be impossible not to slow down as you connect with all of the people, emotions, and scenarios, Miller, exquisitely recounts on the page. One doesn’t need to be of middle age, a particular gender, ethnic group or sexual identity to appreciate or gain insight from this book. One simply need be open minded and willing to take it all in.

[Domen Jazbec · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly Honest and Deeply Human

I picked up F*ck Me: A Memoir out of curiosity, but I found so much more than I expected. Arielle writes with raw honesty, wit, and no pretense. While the story is deeply rooted in her own experience as a woman, I found myself connecting with her musings on relationships, identity, and the messy process of starting over.

This book isn't just about sex and dating (although it is refreshingly candid about it), it's about rediscovering your voice after life has knocked you down. It's bold, vulnerable, and full of moments that make you stop and think.

Recommended for anyone who appreciates unfiltered, true stories.

[Biale Drageo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brave, blistering memoir that demands to be devoured

Every once in a while, a memoir comes along that throws out the rulebook, lights it on fire, and dances in the ashes. Fck Me* is that book.

Yes, it’s sexy, scandalously so. Arielle Miller doesn’t flinch from giving us every vivid detail of her post-divorce adventures. But beneath the heat and humor, this is a raw, deeply human exploration of what it means to rediscover yourself as a woman, a mother, and an individual in a dating landscape that often feels more dystopian than romantic.

I’ve read some memoirs about life after marriage, but few capture the messy contradictions of this chapter so well: the awkward first dates, the surge of sexual empowerment, the brutal loneliness, the maddening interactions with emotionally stunted men, the intoxicating moments of freedom. Arielle’s candor is both refreshing and fearless.

What elevates this book is that it’s not just about sex. It’s about agency. About claiming space in your own life after years of shrinking to fit a role. About recognizing your worth, and refusing to measure it by anyone else’s expectations. Not your ex, not your lovers, not society at large.

And while some of the men in this memoir read like cautionary tales (seriously, the fragility. chef’s kiss), Arielle never loses her humor or her clarity about what she wants and deserves. There’s a lot to be said for a woman who can write about being tied up one chapter and then deliver searing insights about self-love and boundaries in the next.

The writing itself is unpretentious and propulsive. You feel like you’re having drinks with the author while she spills the stories that kept her girlfriends texting all night. It’s not polished to death, but that’s part of its charm. Life isn’t polished either.

In short: this book had me laughing, wincing, nodding in recognition, and occasionally fanning myself. If you’ve ever navigated dating post-divorce...or hell, if you’ve ever questioned your place in a world obsessed with youth and perfection, read this. You’ll find a piece of yourself in its pages.

And Arielle? I’ll be first in line for whatever you write next.

[H. Nightshade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bold, Raw, and Empowering — A Memoir Like No Other

Fck Me: A Memoir* by Arielle is a fearless, unfiltered exploration of one woman’s journey from heartbreak to self-reclamation in the most unexpected ways. Set against the backdrop of Los Angeles, this memoir grabs you from the first page and refuses to let go — equal parts hilarious, heartbreaking, and unapologetically sensual.

Arielle’s writing is captivating in its honesty. She doesn’t just tell her story; she owns it — every wild twist, awkward encounter, erotic revelation, and empowering triumph. Her dual life as a picture-perfect PTA mom by day and a liberated woman navigating the world of modern dating by night is both fascinating and deeply human. It’s not just about sex or scandal — it’s about rediscovering joy, identity, and power after personal devastation.

What makes this memoir truly stand out is Arielle’s voice: witty, smart, and brave. She refuses to conform to societal expectations, and in doing so, gives a voice to countless women who feel invisible after divorce, motherhood, or aging.

This book is not for the faint of heart — but for those willing to take the ride, it’s one hell of a read. Sensual, emotional, and empowering, Fck Me: A Memoir* is a fierce celebration of second chances, sexual freedom, and the healing power of authenticity.

Highly recommended for readers who love memoirs with grit, heart, and a whole lot of heat. Bravo, Arielle.

[Travis D Ramsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arielle Miller delivers a memoir that hits with honesty, grit, and a kind of emotional clarity you don’t see often. This isn’t just a story about rebuilding after heartbreak — it’s a raw, sharply written look at what it means to lose yourself, find yourself, and fight your way back with more strength than you ever expected to have.

What impressed me most is how unfiltered and human Arielle is on the page. She doesn’t hide the messy parts or soften the edges. She lets you sit with the fear, the humor, the desire, the loneliness, and the fire of starting over. You feel like you’re walking beside her, not observing from a distance.

It’s bold, vulnerable, and unexpectedly empowering. Whether you’ve been through your own version of reinvention or you just appreciate a memoir that refuses to play it safe, this one stays with you.

Highly recommend.

[D. Thrush · Rating 3 out of 5]

With a provocative title, this memoir is graphic though not erotic. Arielle is a divorced mother in her early 40s with 3 young children. She’s not looking for a relationship. Living in LA, she has sex with well-known men she doesn’t name. This memoir is all about her sexual adventures and not about her life as a single mother. Honestly, it got old. There was no growth as she complained about giving too much and being a “dirty little secret.” Instead, she revels in her skills in bed, saying that she shares all the graphic details with her mother, grandmother, sister, and friends and that they vicariously enjoy her escapades. I can appreciate a woman’s liberating experiences, but I’m not sure about this one.

[Heys Wolfenden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arielle Miller’s memoir is a revealing and honest account of her dating journey in the years after her divorce. At times funny and shocking, it illustrates the pitfalls of dating apps, the shallowness of #metoo, and the hurdles that many forty-something women must face to find love and belonging in our media obsessed world. It also introduces the reader to some complex, flawed and challenging characters (all men I’m afraid) but who are nonetheless human because of it. Highly recommended for those readers who want a break from the ordinary and don’t mind frank discussions about sex and dating.

[Aly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, it was so open and honest and raw. I really enjoyed reading it. It felt really nice to see the vulnerability of growing older and going through a divorce. It's such a nice contrast to what we're normally fed by society about being closed off and meek after a divorce, as if you're spoiled goods. It was so nice to have a completely different viewpoint and openness! Definitely recommend!

[Margaux Paris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea what I was getting into with this book, but I absolutely loved it!
It was genuine, unfiltered, and refreshing. Arielle dives into the authentic world of dating while juggling the challenges of motherhood, and shares her experience without sugarcoating. There are no fairy tales scenarios or book boyfriends here—just real guys and the ups and downs of everyday dating life. I really enjoyed it!

[A.C. Sherman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arielle Miller is such a good storyteller and writer that, although I am not into reading "mommy porn" or erotica at all, I give her 4 solid stars for her craftsmanship and ability to engage a reader with her memoir. I encourage her to consider writing a Freida McFadden / Karin Slaughter type of domestic thriller. I believe she has the chops to succeed in that genre as well. Best wishes.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun and genuine read. It was honest, hopeful, exciting, and demonstrated a journey that made women in their 40s take but don’t always share with others. Great read!

[M. Hayden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arielle Miller’s F*ck Me: A Memoir is bold, honest, and refreshingly self-aware. Yes, it’s raw in places—emotionally and sexually--but what struck me most was Miller’s clarity. This isn’t just a story about sex or heartbreak. It’s about stepping out from the shadows of other people’s expectations and reclaiming the narrative.

What elevates the memoir even further is Miller’s command of language. She’s a true wordsmith. Her prose is sharp, evocative, and lyrical without losing bite. Every sentence feels intentional. It’s the kind of writing that makes you feel it.

There’s a certain kind of bravery in choosing to live as your fullest self, especially when it defies convention. Arielle writes with both vulnerability and strength--owning her experiences, her body and her voice. Her candor never feels earned and never performative.

This is a story about finding agency. About knowing what you want. About no longer living only as a supporting presence in someone else’s life, but as the central character in your own. And for that reason, this book will resonate with anyone who has ever felt unseen, stifled, or simply ready for more in life. This memoir is brave, candid, and unapologetic. Most of all, it's exquisitely told.