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How to Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics for Overcoming the Problem People in Your Life
DON’T LET PROBLEM PEOPLE GET TO YOU! Whether it’s a manager who keeps moving the goal posts, an uncooperative colleague, negative friend, or critical family member, some people are just plain hard to get along with. Often, your immediate response is to shrink or sulk, become defensive or attack. But there are smarter moves to make when dealing with difficult people. This book explains how to cope with a range of situations with difficult people and to focus on what you can change. This book will help you to: Why let someone else’s bad attitude ruin your day? How to Deal With Difficult People arms you with all the tools and tactics you need to handle all kinds of people – to make your life less stressful and a great deal easier.
208 pages, Paperback
First published October 29, 2014
194 people are currently reading
1136 people want to read
About the author
Gill Hasson
85 books72 followersGill Hasson is the author of Mindfulness: Be mindful. Live in the moment works with people from diverse backgrounds and situations. Her key motivation is her belief in the ability of people to positively change their way of thinking - about life, other people, and themselves.
She is a freelance journalist and writes articles on personal development and relationships for a variety of magazines, including Psychologies and Take A Break, and for a number of websites.
As well as delivering adult education courses in personal development, she is an associate tutor for the University of Sussex where she teaches career and personal development and academic study skills. She delivers training in child and adolescent development to preschool, youth and social workers, teachers and parents.
She is a freelance journalist and writes articles on personal development and relationships for a variety of magazines, including Psychologies and Take A Break, and for a number of websites.
As well as delivering adult education courses in personal development, she is an associate tutor for the University of Sussex where she teaches career and personal development and academic study skills. She delivers training in child and adolescent development to preschool, youth and social workers, teachers and parents.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
September 28, 2020
Do
1. Recognize that some impossible people are impossible to please; whatever you do it, it will never be good enough.
2. See beyond their judgment and criticisms and find the courage to be yourself. You real value is in who you are, not who you aren't.
3. Recognize that if you can't cut them out of your life you can cut down the amount of time you spend with them.
4. Know that if you do spend time with them you should avoid correcting their views and opinions. Instead, say, 'Mmm', 'Oh' and 'I see' to acknowledge what they say without agreeing with or challenging them.
5. Let them go and move on by focusing on what you have to gain: more time for yourself, new interests, fewer arguments, less anxiety and stress. More time for other, less difficult people.
6. Remember that walking way is the best thing to do, for in doing so you regain control. You take away the opportunity for someone to be impossible to you.
Don't
1. Compromise your values and who you are.
2. Enable the other person's impossible behaviour; don't take responsibility or make accommodations for them.
3. Give them information that they can use againts you. Don't say anything that will give them the opportunity to dump their negative opinnions and judgments on you.
4. Strive to meet their expectations, seek their approval or give them any excuse to disapprove.
5. Try to control what they think about you; leave them to their own judgments. They're going to find fault whatever you do.
6. Put up with them and carry on being miserable just because you've already put up with them for a month, a year or even half a lifetime.
7. Dwell on what you have to lose by cutting them out; focus on what you have to gain.
8. Think letting go means you hate them or wish them harm. Remember, cutting someone out of your life is for your own good, not theirs.
9. Think in terms of one of you winning or losing. Instead, think about keeping yourself safe and sane.
1. Recognize that some impossible people are impossible to please; whatever you do it, it will never be good enough.
2. See beyond their judgment and criticisms and find the courage to be yourself. You real value is in who you are, not who you aren't.
3. Recognize that if you can't cut them out of your life you can cut down the amount of time you spend with them.
4. Know that if you do spend time with them you should avoid correcting their views and opinions. Instead, say, 'Mmm', 'Oh' and 'I see' to acknowledge what they say without agreeing with or challenging them.
5. Let them go and move on by focusing on what you have to gain: more time for yourself, new interests, fewer arguments, less anxiety and stress. More time for other, less difficult people.
6. Remember that walking way is the best thing to do, for in doing so you regain control. You take away the opportunity for someone to be impossible to you.
Don't
1. Compromise your values and who you are.
2. Enable the other person's impossible behaviour; don't take responsibility or make accommodations for them.
3. Give them information that they can use againts you. Don't say anything that will give them the opportunity to dump their negative opinnions and judgments on you.
4. Strive to meet their expectations, seek their approval or give them any excuse to disapprove.
5. Try to control what they think about you; leave them to their own judgments. They're going to find fault whatever you do.
6. Put up with them and carry on being miserable just because you've already put up with them for a month, a year or even half a lifetime.
7. Dwell on what you have to lose by cutting them out; focus on what you have to gain.
8. Think letting go means you hate them or wish them harm. Remember, cutting someone out of your life is for your own good, not theirs.
9. Think in terms of one of you winning or losing. Instead, think about keeping yourself safe and sane.
May 20, 2016
Reading books like this makes friends and acquaintances nervous. So I'll start by explaining I chose this book because it focuses on the reader, their reactions, their mindsets, their emotions, not on the 'Difficult People'.
A great resource to return to as you meet with the personality types and situations listed. A thoughtful, set of techniques and approaches for both you private and professional life.
A great resource to return to as you meet with the personality types and situations listed. A thoughtful, set of techniques and approaches for both you private and professional life.
October 30, 2018
Cut the impossible people (for ever dissatisfied, bullies, always criticizing and negative)out of your life, they just drain your energy.
people can get difficult to deal with when they feel they have no voice. The best way to deal with this situation is reflective listening (paraphrasing, summarizing, repeating). even if you can not agree acknowledge to make them feel that they have been heard.
Practice proper body language.
Always focus on the problem do not let the other complaints drag you out of your main focus.
May 19, 2018
Best book ever. It helped me deal with difficult people that I might encounter in college and work and how to communicate with them assertively
August 25, 2018
Gill Hasson is a teacher, trainer and writer with 20 years of experience in the area of personal development. She is the author of a number of books, including the Mindfulness Pocketbook, which introduced me to the concept of mindfulness as well as Gill’s work.
In this book, Gill examines and analyses the different patterns of behavior that make someone, or a particular relationship with someone “difficult”. At the same time, she encourages the reader to reflect on their own behavior, and how much this contributes to a “difficult” relationship.
I particularly liked it when she explained how other people cannot make us feel a particular way. Our feelings and emotions, she argues, are not caused by others, but by ourselves. As a Psychiatrist, I think this is a powerful message, as quite often people do not take ownership of their emotions and feelings. By doing so they are caught in a vicious cycle of difficult emotions that often make their interpersonal relationships difficult. Yet, by acknowledging that our feelings are our own, and that we have the ability and the power to change them, it falls on us to do this – and this is a very empowering message.
This is of course easier said than done. Gill, however, identifies ways to enable the reader to do this. She provides tips on how to change our behaviour towards a “difficult” person, to facilitate communication, and to subsequently improve our relationship with them.
I believe that readers of this book will find Gill’s advice helpful. However, its biggest strength, and what makes it really therapeutic, is that it encourages the reader to take a reflective stance towards their own and other people’s feelings, behaviors and ways of relating.
In this book, Gill examines and analyses the different patterns of behavior that make someone, or a particular relationship with someone “difficult”. At the same time, she encourages the reader to reflect on their own behavior, and how much this contributes to a “difficult” relationship.
I particularly liked it when she explained how other people cannot make us feel a particular way. Our feelings and emotions, she argues, are not caused by others, but by ourselves. As a Psychiatrist, I think this is a powerful message, as quite often people do not take ownership of their emotions and feelings. By doing so they are caught in a vicious cycle of difficult emotions that often make their interpersonal relationships difficult. Yet, by acknowledging that our feelings are our own, and that we have the ability and the power to change them, it falls on us to do this – and this is a very empowering message.
This is of course easier said than done. Gill, however, identifies ways to enable the reader to do this. She provides tips on how to change our behaviour towards a “difficult” person, to facilitate communication, and to subsequently improve our relationship with them.
I believe that readers of this book will find Gill’s advice helpful. However, its biggest strength, and what makes it really therapeutic, is that it encourages the reader to take a reflective stance towards their own and other people’s feelings, behaviors and ways of relating.
November 8, 2021
Let's say some pieces of advice here will help me deal with difficult people. It was overall agreeable, but I think more examples could improve it a lot.
April 29, 2022
Here is my summary:
You can't directly change other people's behaviour; the only thing you can change is how you respond and deal with it. Consider different ways you deal with difficult people and try to understand why you react to them in the way you do.
Consider the expectations and beliefs you may have about the ways other people ‘should’ behave towards you. Remember other people can't make you do anything, behave in a certain way or feel in a certain way; they're not responsible for how you feel or respond – you are.
Taking responsibility for your reactions to difficult people will help you better manage. If you can take responsibility for your responses then, those responses are yours to manage: to influence and direct.
After thinking about how and why you and other people behave and respond to each other as you do. It is then important to learn skills, strategies and techniques to manage difficult people: to know what to say and what not to say. A good way to know what to say and what not to say to a difficult person is to start by listening to them. Really listen.
You can choose whether to tell other people what you think, how you feel and what you believe. Even if an encounter with a difficult person doesn't turn out the way you hoped, don’t feel guilty, angry or resentful, instead simply reflect on and identify what you would do differently next time, in a similar situation. Be calm, confidently stand up to others and know when to walk away. As a result other people are more likely to treat you in the way you want: with respect.
If you can understanding how and why someone else is being difficult it can give you a better chance of dealing with them. It's not always easy to tell if someone is deliberately being difficult or if it's just you who is struggling to deal with that person. At times it's not what other people do that's the difficulty, it's how you interpret it.
Your values are the principles by which you live much of your life. Your values can also act as an anchor: they can be relied on to support and stabilize you. Your values also reflect your expectations about the way other people ‘should’ behave. So if decisiveness and reliability are important to you, you will probably expect others to behave in the same way; to make clear decisions, be definite, resolute and determined, dependable and committed. When other people don't behave in ways that reflect your values or in ways that you think are important – you may respond with disappointment, resignation,
frustration or anger. Problems will occur if you expect a higher level of action or reaction than the other is either willing or capable of.
Try to avoid high expectations and stay in a place of positive expectation with other people. It's a powerful way to change the way you think about difficult people.
Personal rights are what you perceive to be the correct, just or appropriate way to be treated. This includes what you believe you are entitled to. When you stand up for your rights, they can protect yourself from ill treatment by other people. Your rights are reflected in your values; your values will inform your rights. Be aware that someone else's personal rights will be based on their experiences and expectations, so they may well be different from yours.
Communication tips include using active and reflective listening with open questions, often summarising what they have said to confirm understanding. Confirmation provides clarity – be sure to acknowledge and respond only to what is relevant. Acknowledging what the other person has said shows that you have listened and understood. It also gives them the opportunity to confirm, clarify or refute your understanding. Match your body language with your words and observe others doing this. If someone is not doing matching their words and language then consider why - perhaps they are not telling the truth?
When negotiating try to find common ground for a solution. Offer an alternative that works for you and benefits the other person as well.
Remember to choose where and when: Time and place. It may not be appropriate to respond to the other person immediately, for example in front of other people or if one of you is stressed. However, if you have to wait for an appropriate time and place, don't let things build up to such an extent that they just get worse. Tackle it as soon as possible.
You don't even have to tell the other person what the consequences will be if they don't cooperate with you. But if you do explain what the consequences will be, take responsibility for the outcome: there may also be consequences for you.
Take responsibility for your opinions: Start with ‘I’ and not ‘you’. A sentence that starts with the word ‘you’ is probably going to involve an accusation against the other person that will alert them to become defensive. ‘I’ statements, on the other hand, will give the other person less to challenge: they can argue with you if you say, ‘You always let me down…’ but not with ‘I always feel let down…’., ‘You make me feel…’ suggests you are blaming the other person, making them responsible for how you feel. Blaming someone else is not going to solve the problem, so take ownership of what you have to say and take responsibility for what you think or feel.
VLOG Summary: https://youtu.be/mvKU8AVaJ44
You can't directly change other people's behaviour; the only thing you can change is how you respond and deal with it. Consider different ways you deal with difficult people and try to understand why you react to them in the way you do.
Consider the expectations and beliefs you may have about the ways other people ‘should’ behave towards you. Remember other people can't make you do anything, behave in a certain way or feel in a certain way; they're not responsible for how you feel or respond – you are.
Taking responsibility for your reactions to difficult people will help you better manage. If you can take responsibility for your responses then, those responses are yours to manage: to influence and direct.
After thinking about how and why you and other people behave and respond to each other as you do. It is then important to learn skills, strategies and techniques to manage difficult people: to know what to say and what not to say. A good way to know what to say and what not to say to a difficult person is to start by listening to them. Really listen.
You can choose whether to tell other people what you think, how you feel and what you believe. Even if an encounter with a difficult person doesn't turn out the way you hoped, don’t feel guilty, angry or resentful, instead simply reflect on and identify what you would do differently next time, in a similar situation. Be calm, confidently stand up to others and know when to walk away. As a result other people are more likely to treat you in the way you want: with respect.
If you can understanding how and why someone else is being difficult it can give you a better chance of dealing with them. It's not always easy to tell if someone is deliberately being difficult or if it's just you who is struggling to deal with that person. At times it's not what other people do that's the difficulty, it's how you interpret it.
Your values are the principles by which you live much of your life. Your values can also act as an anchor: they can be relied on to support and stabilize you. Your values also reflect your expectations about the way other people ‘should’ behave. So if decisiveness and reliability are important to you, you will probably expect others to behave in the same way; to make clear decisions, be definite, resolute and determined, dependable and committed. When other people don't behave in ways that reflect your values or in ways that you think are important – you may respond with disappointment, resignation,
frustration or anger. Problems will occur if you expect a higher level of action or reaction than the other is either willing or capable of.
Try to avoid high expectations and stay in a place of positive expectation with other people. It's a powerful way to change the way you think about difficult people.
Personal rights are what you perceive to be the correct, just or appropriate way to be treated. This includes what you believe you are entitled to. When you stand up for your rights, they can protect yourself from ill treatment by other people. Your rights are reflected in your values; your values will inform your rights. Be aware that someone else's personal rights will be based on their experiences and expectations, so they may well be different from yours.
Communication tips include using active and reflective listening with open questions, often summarising what they have said to confirm understanding. Confirmation provides clarity – be sure to acknowledge and respond only to what is relevant. Acknowledging what the other person has said shows that you have listened and understood. It also gives them the opportunity to confirm, clarify or refute your understanding. Match your body language with your words and observe others doing this. If someone is not doing matching their words and language then consider why - perhaps they are not telling the truth?
When negotiating try to find common ground for a solution. Offer an alternative that works for you and benefits the other person as well.
Remember to choose where and when: Time and place. It may not be appropriate to respond to the other person immediately, for example in front of other people or if one of you is stressed. However, if you have to wait for an appropriate time and place, don't let things build up to such an extent that they just get worse. Tackle it as soon as possible.
You don't even have to tell the other person what the consequences will be if they don't cooperate with you. But if you do explain what the consequences will be, take responsibility for the outcome: there may also be consequences for you.
Take responsibility for your opinions: Start with ‘I’ and not ‘you’. A sentence that starts with the word ‘you’ is probably going to involve an accusation against the other person that will alert them to become defensive. ‘I’ statements, on the other hand, will give the other person less to challenge: they can argue with you if you say, ‘You always let me down…’ but not with ‘I always feel let down…’., ‘You make me feel…’ suggests you are blaming the other person, making them responsible for how you feel. Blaming someone else is not going to solve the problem, so take ownership of what you have to say and take responsibility for what you think or feel.
VLOG Summary: https://youtu.be/mvKU8AVaJ44
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 30, 2025
I think this is one of the best self development books I have read. It provides clear actions to take to make your life better on how to deal with difficult people - as the title mentions. It provides a clear path of decisions/thinking on how to acknowledge you are dealing with difficult people and how to behave properly. It will be very useful for my everyday life!
March 14, 2021
Hasson provides practical strategies to deal with difficult and impossible people; the openly hostile who are instrumentally aggressive to get what they want, the passive aggressive who are indirectly and deviously hostile and play the victim, and passive people who people please and avoid any type of decision or friction. Hasson emphasises the need to monitor and take responsibility for your own responses to these difficult people so that you can avoid learned helplessness and acknowledge that only you have the power to make yourself feel a certain way. Hasson advises a reassessment of your expectations of how you think people should behave, and acknowledge that people have different values, and the necessity to be assertive in communicating what you feel and what you would like to happen. For impossible people, such as those who are negative and draining, drama queens who respond out of proportion to events, the self-absorbed who never ask you about you and bullies who revel at upsetting others with their compulsive sly remarks, Hasson advises to walk away as otherwise you will be enabling this destructive behaviour. Hasson’s use of examples illustrates her concepts well but I did feel this was pretty obvious and common sense advice which is easier said than practically achieved.
November 27, 2019
A very interesting read. It grabs your attention from the start. It is a know fact that we are surrounded by difficult people whether it be our family, friends or co-workers. It shows ways to give the best responses to every possible situation when dealing with difficult people.
An assertive response to a difficult person is the best way to deal with him smartly. Practicing your response while keeping claim and controlling the situation rather than sinking into the dreadful pit of a impulsive person. The book is a good read to build prospective about dealing with people who are bothering you with their obnoxious attitude. It gives you an insight to reflect and listen to their point of view while, asserting your boundaries and responding them in a witty and calm way.
A must read for people having problems dealing with people who are rude, aggressive, passive aggressive or even passive or even impossible.
An assertive response to a difficult person is the best way to deal with him smartly. Practicing your response while keeping claim and controlling the situation rather than sinking into the dreadful pit of a impulsive person. The book is a good read to build prospective about dealing with people who are bothering you with their obnoxious attitude. It gives you an insight to reflect and listen to their point of view while, asserting your boundaries and responding them in a witty and calm way.
A must read for people having problems dealing with people who are rude, aggressive, passive aggressive or even passive or even impossible.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 29, 2025
This thought provoking book offered insights into how you react with people and ways to deal with them, along with ways to change your reactions. Pointing out that we all have different beliefs, values and expectations was eye opening. I never thought about how I rated these and never thought other people maybe rated theirs differently. While there is no magic answer in this book, it was thoughtfully written and a great way to reflect on how we react with positive and negative people. I’m definitely listening to it again and I’m even thinking about buying the book to highlight. This book was included in my Audible account and didn’t cost extra, so if you have audible, listen to it. The book was only 4 hours and is well worth your time.
April 28, 2016
The book was a bit fluffy at times and offered very basic tips on conversations with difficult people. I did like the frame work of asking "is it me?" followed by practical steps to be more assertive. There are very practical examples, albeit not the most challenging types. A short read but don't expect life altering methods unless you haven't read any of the other kind of conversation skill books.
December 18, 2024
Part one of this book encourages a self-examination “is the problem the difficult person or me? What makes people difficult to interact with?”
Part two delves into specific examples of difficult people-types/ situations and how to handle them (make others feel heard, don’t parrot negative behavior back to others, be assertive.)
Part three discusses “impossible people” and what to do about them (remove yourself from the relationship).
I wish I had read this book 10 years ago.
Part two delves into specific examples of difficult people-types/ situations and how to handle them (make others feel heard, don’t parrot negative behavior back to others, be assertive.)
Part three discusses “impossible people” and what to do about them (remove yourself from the relationship).
I wish I had read this book 10 years ago.
March 10, 2020
The things written are repetitive in nature. Overall a okayish read.
November 30, 2020
This is the first-ever audiobook that I've started re-listening immediately after finishing it.
It's pretty short and offers some solid tools of how to relate to difficult people in a way that would be empathic but also productive and self-preserving.
The author starts from a very empathic position - it's not their fault they're difficult and it's not your fault for not having the nerve to deal with them. Your job is to set the boundaries and learn new communication strategies.
This is not a book to help you to manipulate people and make them do what you want them to do instead of "being difficult". In fact, as suggested by the author, you might be the one who is being difficult.
I can see how the author's position on setting boundaries might appear culturally or emotionally unacceptable and/or lacking to some readers. The author offers the tips which would generally work in the European, maybe North American cultural setting. Using the techniques to manage a relationship with an overbearing Spanish mother in law is already pushing it. If you come from a culture with very strong and controlling family relations with no concept of personal space and your own identity, this book might not be right for you.
All said, it is a practical handbook on human relations and is useful, unless you're self-isolating in solitude.
It's pretty short and offers some solid tools of how to relate to difficult people in a way that would be empathic but also productive and self-preserving.
The author starts from a very empathic position - it's not their fault they're difficult and it's not your fault for not having the nerve to deal with them. Your job is to set the boundaries and learn new communication strategies.
This is not a book to help you to manipulate people and make them do what you want them to do instead of "being difficult". In fact, as suggested by the author, you might be the one who is being difficult.
I can see how the author's position on setting boundaries might appear culturally or emotionally unacceptable and/or lacking to some readers. The author offers the tips which would generally work in the European, maybe North American cultural setting. Using the techniques to manage a relationship with an overbearing Spanish mother in law is already pushing it. If you come from a culture with very strong and controlling family relations with no concept of personal space and your own identity, this book might not be right for you.
All said, it is a practical handbook on human relations and is useful, unless you're self-isolating in solitude.
March 9, 2025
A positive person could be the person who supports you when you're down and is fun when you're up. It could be someone who provides wisdom and advice when you're lost.
A positive person could be someone who sees your strengths even when you don't. It could be someone who has compassion towards themselves and others; they are open minded and willing to learn from their own mistakes.
It could be someone you know who is courageous about following their dreams; he or she seeks to be authentic and believes in themselves.
They inspire you. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.
People sometimes tell me that they don't have anyone in their lives who can inspire them to reach greater heights, that they don't have anyone in their lives who is fun or who can support them in difficult times.
And if you want more positive people in your life, start by being more positive yourself.
April 5, 2016
Currently my academic projects and assignments at school have several problems concerning with human. Working in teams is both interesting and challenging. Difficult people or impossible people, to me, are ones who are "impossible" to deal with because truly their characteristics are "impossible" to digest. One one hand, they act as if you guys are besties (eww) and on the other hand they back-stab you oh trust me I have just experienced it today. I used to be upset or hot-tempered, but not it has to change or else I will be isolated and secluded from all assignments.
I enjoy working in teams, especially when teammates are supportive and meticulous, but this is not always the case. Therefore, to my humble knowledge, this book is highly appreciated and recommended if you are don't want to work individually for the rest of your life!
I enjoy working in teams, especially when teammates are supportive and meticulous, but this is not always the case. Therefore, to my humble knowledge, this book is highly appreciated and recommended if you are don't want to work individually for the rest of your life!
October 6, 2020
Some good strategies, but overall quite simplistic.
I disagreed with some of the advice, particularly when the author recommends that the best strategy to deal with workplace bullying is to leave the job. Surely attempting some sort of recourse first would be better in most situations. The book doesn't have any examples of enlisting help to deal with a difficult person. With a workplace or a family issue, other relationships would surely be relevant.
There were also no examples of societal prejudices, which I think would have been useful.
Moreover in a lot of the examples the author minimises the struggles of the person branded as "difficult", in favour of the other person feeling positive.
Maybe a better framework would be to not demonize difficult people, but admit that most people display difficult behaviour at some point in their lives.
I disagreed with some of the advice, particularly when the author recommends that the best strategy to deal with workplace bullying is to leave the job. Surely attempting some sort of recourse first would be better in most situations. The book doesn't have any examples of enlisting help to deal with a difficult person. With a workplace or a family issue, other relationships would surely be relevant.
There were also no examples of societal prejudices, which I think would have been useful.
Moreover in a lot of the examples the author minimises the struggles of the person branded as "difficult", in favour of the other person feeling positive.
Maybe a better framework would be to not demonize difficult people, but admit that most people display difficult behaviour at some point in their lives.
July 6, 2021
This short read (which could have been even shorter, given the repetitive nature of its content) offers simple, actionable advice on how to deal with people who are self-centered, drama-addicted, overly demanding, or constantly negative, amongst others. While none of them is particularly unexpected or mind-blowing, their constant restatement and extensive use of practical examples allow the reader to internalize them. The book puts a lot of emphasis on regaining control over conflictual situations or troublesome relationships, which I appreciated. It also stresses the importance of catering to one's own wellbeing and safety.
The content of the book is laid in a clear, predictable structure which makes it easy to reference it later.
The content of the book is laid in a clear, predictable structure which makes it easy to reference it later.
December 1, 2021
I really, really tried to preserve with this book.
It was really repetitive but the part that made me stop reading was the section on bullying.
The advice given for dealing with bullying by a neighbour or in the workplace is to "find somewhere else to live" or "walk away from a good job and financial stability".
What about actively trying to deal with the bully?! Especially in the workplace, bullying should be reported and the bully dealt with so this doesn't happen again. By walking away, the bully gets away with abysmal behaviour!
I did not finish the book as I could not get beyond this section. Will be returning it on audible.
It was really repetitive but the part that made me stop reading was the section on bullying.
The advice given for dealing with bullying by a neighbour or in the workplace is to "find somewhere else to live" or "walk away from a good job and financial stability".
What about actively trying to deal with the bully?! Especially in the workplace, bullying should be reported and the bully dealt with so this doesn't happen again. By walking away, the bully gets away with abysmal behaviour!
I did not finish the book as I could not get beyond this section. Will be returning it on audible.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 29, 2017
Polecam Wam ten poradnik, jeśli macie wokół siebie ludzi, którzy w jakiś sposób uprzykrzają Wam życie. Możecie nauczyć się postępowania z nimi, a możecie też zakupić im książkę w prezencie. O ile nie należą do grona tych niereformowalnych, być może wyciągną z lektury jakieś wnioski i życie wszystkich wokół stanie się piękniejsze.
Więcej we wpisie: http://www.kreatywa.net/2017/03/przeg...
Więcej we wpisie: http://www.kreatywa.net/2017/03/przeg...
March 19, 2018
We all get to deal with "Passive Aggressive" people who know how to invent difficulties out, those Passive people don't express their true feelings, they also don't contribute in a constructive way! They have "leakage" that is what they behave is not the same as what they talk!
IF repeated these Passive Aggressive people may turn to become impossible to deal with and their behavior can be the last straw. A BREAK from them is needed.
IF repeated these Passive Aggressive people may turn to become impossible to deal with and their behavior can be the last straw. A BREAK from them is needed.
October 23, 2024
Listening to How to Deal with Difficult People by Gill Hanson included in my audible subscription
Difficult people such as narcs don't have empathy and the ability to self-reflect, they aren't able to take accountability for their wrongdoings. They will do anything to blame and hurt others rather than blaming themselves it's called deflection. It's a defence mechanism due to insecurities in childhood.
Difficult people such as narcs don't have empathy and the ability to self-reflect, they aren't able to take accountability for their wrongdoings. They will do anything to blame and hurt others rather than blaming themselves it's called deflection. It's a defence mechanism due to insecurities in childhood.
March 12, 2025
Lots of practical advice and really actionable ideas with example scenarios and ideas for what to do in each scenario that are widely applicable to other scenarios. I don’t know when I last highlighted the heck out of a book the way I did this one! There is absolutely lots of common sense added in but I never felt bored through the book or like there was filler for the sake of it. Highly recommend this read!
July 10, 2020
It was an excellent read, I must say. The book has helped me gather a lot of new thoughts and ideas that'll hopefully bring about some positives when confronting people. Not only with difficult people but any type of people.
I'm not going to rate this book just yet, however. I think I'll come back to rate it someday, having applied the techniques I've learned from here in my life.
I'm not going to rate this book just yet, however. I think I'll come back to rate it someday, having applied the techniques I've learned from here in my life.
September 13, 2021
I don't think I learned as much as I wanted to from this book. But here's what breakthrough I got from it.
Those family members who drive me mad? And who I find really hard to be around? Yeah it's me that's the difficult one, because I can't accept them for who they are. On reflection, I won't ever be able to accept them for who they are and it's better than I instead minimise contact with them.
Those family members who drive me mad? And who I find really hard to be around? Yeah it's me that's the difficult one, because I can't accept them for who they are. On reflection, I won't ever be able to accept them for who they are and it's better than I instead minimise contact with them.
March 17, 2018
Excellant
This book is brilliant it gives you a basic insight into people's personalities and how to deal with them. It also directs you to the best selling book of its kind to gain more knowledge if you require I'd recommend Joosr Guides to everyone
This book is brilliant it gives you a basic insight into people's personalities and how to deal with them. It also directs you to the best selling book of its kind to gain more knowledge if you require I'd recommend Joosr Guides to everyone
June 19, 2019
* Use reflective (empathetic listening)
* Repeat what the other person says.
* When explaining your point, use “I” statements as opposed to “you” statements.
* Own your feelings.
* Negotiate (how can we both win).
* Repeat what the other person says.
* When explaining your point, use “I” statements as opposed to “you” statements.
* Own your feelings.
* Negotiate (how can we both win).
April 21, 2020
It’s a very straightforward book and we probably already know many of the points made but it’s a good refresher. It’s easy to forget these tactics at times especially when we’re in uncharted territory.
January 9, 2021
Great practical step by step approaches for readers dealing with different types of difficult people. My fav part of it is chapter 2 asking readers to do some self reflection before categorising others.
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