Vermissen auf Japanisch

by Yukiko Tominaga

Vollkommen überraschend verliert Kyoko ihren Ehemann Levi. In San Francisco allein gelassen mit einem Berg Schulden, einem abgebrochenen Studium und ihrem zweijährigen Sohn Alex muss sie lernen, mit der Lücke umzugehen, die Levi hinterlassen hat – was gar nicht so einfach ist, wenn die eigene Familie weit entfernt in Tokio lebt und ihre Sprache keine Vokabel für das Wort »vermissen« kennt. Doch zum Glück gibt es Kyokos Mitbewohnerin Mi Cha, die weiß, wie es sich anfühlt, zwischen zwei Welten zu leben, und vor allem Bubbe, ihre heißgeliebte jüdische Schwiegermutter, mit der Kyoko trotz aller Unterschiede offen über ihre Wut und Trauer sprechen kann. Mit ihrer Schwäche für Wahrsagerinnen, Bananentorte und ausgedehnte Familienbesuche wirbelt Bubbe Kyokos Routine durcheinander und ermuntert sie, ihr Leben selbst in die Hand zu nehmen.

Genres: Fiction, Japan, Audiobook, Contemporary, Jewish, Japanese Literature, Literary Fiction

256 pages, Hardcover

First published May 7, 2024

Reviews

[emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

pretty much life summed up.

i really enjoyed the first half of this book, which is more or less about what the synopsis claims — a japanese widow raising her son with the help of her jewish mother-in-law — but then this goes, for lack of a better word, wacko mode.

as this book devolves into contradictions and literary sex scenes and abstractions, i found myself enjoying it less and less.

i thought its wisdom was appropriate for the cozy plot of the beginning, but not enough to ground how strange it became.

bottom line: i like weird books...but not like this.

(2.5 / thanks to the publisher for the copy)

[Sujoya - theoverbookedbibliophile · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️

See: Loss. See Also: Love. by Yukiko Tominaga revolves around Kyoko, a young Japanese American immigrant in her late twenties, who loses her Jewish-American husband to a freak accident while she is visiting her family in Japan with her eighteen-month-old son, Alex.

The narrative is shared in four sections comprising a series of non-linear vignettes from the first person PoV of Kyoko as we follow her upbringing in Japan, her years as a student in the United States, her marriage to Levi and her settling in the United States to how she juggles her professional aspirations, her responsibilities as a single mother and her personal life in the years following Levi’s demise. Kyoko decides to remain in San Francisco with her son. Her parents in Japan are supportive of her decision and Levi’s family, especially his mother Bubbe, extend their support whenever needed. As we follow Kyoko over the years we see her reflect on her marriage and her loss – it is not just sorrow that she feels – her thoughts often turn dark, her grief often manifesting into anger as she embarks on a journey of catharsis and healing.

“But where are my tears when I think about my husband’s funeral? If I could, I would dig him up from his grave and stab his heart. I would stab his heart until it’s minced. I would break all his bones to make him like a puppet. I would crush him into a ball and kick him back into his coffin. I would throw rocks at him, tree branches, the shovel that I dug him up with, and all the gifts he gave me. Then I would ask him, ‘Why did you have to love me?’”

The author’s strength lies in her depiction of complex human emotions. What I found particularly striking about this novel was the honesty and insight with which the author has explored themes of grief and healing, infusing a healthy dose of humor into the narrative to keep it from becoming too bleak or overwhelming. Kyoko is critical of herself in all aspects of her life, more so as a single mother and even in her happier moments, she often experiences self-doubt. I loved how the author addresses cultural differences - it was both heartwarming and entertaining to follow how Kyoko approaches her relationships on both sides of the family as she strives to strike a balance between her Japanese roots and her life in the United States, especially in the context of Alex’s upbringing. At times she does come across as detached and unfeeling, a facet of her personality that is emphasized most when she reflects on her marriage and during her interactions with Bubbe, who sees her and accepts her as she is with warmth and affection. Kyoko, who is a tad reserved and not quite expressive when it comes to sharing her feelings or accepting help, finds it difficult to respond to Bubbe’s openness and effusive gestures. Bubbe is a loveable character and the author has done a remarkable job of depiction of how the dynamic between these two vastly different women evolves. Despite the non-linearity (which results in a slightly disjointed narrative), this is a well-rounded story. Beautifully written and thought-provoking, this is a novel I would definitely recommend to those who enjoy character-driven fiction that revolves around themes of grief, healing, family and motherhood.

Many thanks to Scribner for the digital review copy via NetGalley. All opinions expressed in this review are my own. This novel was published on May 7, 2024.

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[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

By the time I decided to DNF it, I was already more than halfway through, but really I should've DNF'd it. Book was boring, and it didn't live up to the promise I thought it offered. I expected it to be more about the relationship between Kyoko and Bubbe. Maybe I only hoped that, but I wanted to know more about the fortuneteller's reading and whether Kyoko really had bad karma. I wanted to know how Levi was going to navigate multiple cultures. But really, the book went nowhere.

Skip this book! Rounding up from 1.5.

[Mai H. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Japanuary

haretsu: rupture

This book is about a mixed family, Japanese and Jewish. We start off with grief, as Kyoko’s husband, Levi, has just perished in a terrible accident.

uzu: vortex

I had previously felt bad that Levi had died, but after seeing him as a husband, I'm less sorry. Your wife just gave birth. She very clearly has postpartum depression. Sex hurts her. Stop trying to put it in.

kaimen: interface

I wasn’t really enjoying this until now. Maybe it’s less a look on the useless husband, and more an introspective look at a positive mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.

But then the mother son dynamic is kind of killing it. Generational differences and all that.

souhatsu: emergence

I liked this section the least. None of it was cohesive. Did they cheat? Or was the man's wife dead or an ex? I zoned out.

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Scribner

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful debut novel a book that tore at my heart.A young widow her husband died in a freak accident leaving her to raise their son alone.She is Japanese he was Jewish and she learn to look to her family and Bubbie the child’s Jewish grandmother.This story carries us through many years following all the emotions sadness joy healing.This is a story that will stay with you a book I will be recommending.#netgalley #doubledaybooks

[ɐɹɥǝz ★ dagustun · Rating 5 out of 5]

“ IN JAPANESE, WE HAD NO actual translation for "i miss you." the direct translation had become extinct, no longer a part of our conversations, existing only in romance novels.
The sentence that we substituted was "I'll be lonely without you." “
After this quote, this seemed necessarry ->

“ “You know what, "" I said, "We don't have 'hug' in our
language either."
"No 'I miss you' and no hugs. How do you know love?"
"We read the air," I said. “ I LOVE THIS ONE 😍

“ “I'll be lonely without you" was a mistranslation because missing someone didn't necessarily mean you would be lonely. Missing someone came from the outside. A momentary fact. It was innocent and healthy, Once you moved from the moment, you stopped missing, while loneliness stayed within you like a virus. It mutated, and only distractions allowed us to survive. “

“It was not the coldness that sinks into your bones and not the coldness that children bring after coming back in from a snowball fight. It was a coldness I could never warm.”

“I'll find a crack in the ground to trip over, right in front of him, to make him laugh, to make him forget why he is there, and to make him reach for me without us having to look into each other's eyes.”

[staykind · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent!

[Reagan Formea · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
Thank you to the publishers for a giveaway copy!
I really enjoyed the complexity of human emotions and human relationships shown in this novel. The author is obviously talented and I would love to read more books from her!

[Lidia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like the author put in this book a lot of topics, emotions, thinking, all in a package made of ironic parts, emotional, cynical and beautiful images of life and love. The difference in culture plays a big part too in the story of the protagonist, her family and that of her Jewish husband.Widow myself, I can see how realistic is Kioko's sorrow and preoccupation is, year after year. If I can tell, I don't think that Kioko loved her husband , little time in their marriage . I think that after her loss started for her the knowledge of self, who she was and what she wanted in life...also her choice in relationship and sex. The story was beautifully written, and I wanted to pause more to catch an idea, a truth. I think this is a splendid debut for Yukiko Tominaga .

[Annina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Die Geschichte von Kyoko, einer Japanerin die sich nach dem Tod ihres Mannes alleine mit ihrem Sohn in den USA zurechtfinden muss. Der Stil, die Sprache und das Tempo gefielen mir sehr gut. Tominaga schaffte es, dass ich mich in die Situation von Kyoko versetzen konnte und Verständnis für ihre ehrlichen Gefühle aufbrachte. Ein schönes Buch.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautifully written book. It's good for anyone who likes short stories, because that's how it reads more than a linear novel. I love how it showed that grief is ugly and raw and angry and never ending, through the structure of the story. It jumped a lot over many years, but they all seemed connected somehow, slowly revealing Kyoko has grown and changed, but grief and anger are still always there. I loved seeing her as a mother and the contrast with her own mother figures. I also loved loved her banter and relationship with her mother in law, who added a lot of humor to this book. It was tough, but not depressing, more like a slideshow of memories and the emotions tied to them.

Note: I listened to the audiobook and it was fabulous!

[Avani · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I saw it at the bookstore and the blurb seemed interesting (It's a very well written blurb!). My initial reaction after the first few chapters was that the blurb was so accurate that the narrative wasn't adding enough substance to really build on the summary at the back. Thankfully, the book just needed to falter a little before finding its ground, and it got better the deeper I got into the book. I liked the way the narrator's grief evolved from loss to resentment (the part where it returns to love was a little weak, but ah well). The dynamic between Bubbe and Kyoko was the best, and I wish we'd seen more of her in the second half of the novel as well.

[GONZA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wie viele Facetten kann die Trauer haben? Wahrscheinlich sogar mehr als Liebe, wenn man darüber nachdenkt. Welche Sprache könnte besser geeignet sein als Japanisch (obwohl das Buch im Original auf Englisch verfasst wurde), die „die Luft liest“, um auch von den Gefühlen der Hinterbliebenen zu sprechen? Ein schönes Buch.

Quante sfaccettature puó avere il lutto? Probabilmente anche piú dell'amore pensandoci bene. Quale linguaggio piú adatto del giapponese (anche se in originale il libro é stato scritto in inglese) che "legge l'aria" per parlare anche dei sentimenti di chi resta? Un bel libro.

Ich habe vom Verlag ein kostenloses digitales Vorab-Exemplar des Buches im Austausch für eine ehrliche Rezension erhalten.

[Coleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author, Tominaga, is a good writer. The reader should be aware, however, that this is not a novel as described in notes about the book, at least not as I think of a novel. It is a collection of short stories, at least five of which have been previously published in a variety of publications. I write this because I think of a novel as a story from beginning to end, sometimes with flash backs and /or back history, but nevertheless, a story that starts and finishes. This was not that. It jumped all around without continuity or explanation.

The main characters are Kyoko, a Mother, and her son, Alex. Kyoko's husband / Alex's father has died, and this is mentioned in a number of the stories. His death is explained in at least one, possibly more.

Some of the stories take place in Japan and some in San Francisco and some elsewhere. I enjoyed reading the book, except for the difficulty I had with the 'stories' having little continuity, as would be expected in a novel. I liked Kyoto's Japan, and I liked her San Francisco. And I liked her characters, except for the difficulty with someone having died and then being in another story without explanation as to timing of his death or timing of the story's occurrence.

Once I figured out that there was a major disconnect. I discovered from the copywright at the beginning of the book that there was a compilation of short stories which have previously been published,. But I felt somewhat deceived.

Nevertheless, with the exception of the 'story' of Kyoko talking to her 15-year-old son, fantasizing about his having sex with his girlfriend and getting her pregnant. And the two children's families being one happy family and Kyoto being happy having another baby to take care of! I thought it bizarre. Her son was non-plussed.

On the other hand, I could relate to her experience with her not being allowed to work outside the home by her husband: his controlling the money and going with the wife to pay for what she wants or needs to buy. And not being allowed to have money herself. While not me, I know of women who are in these situations. They are not Japanese. They were raised right here in the good old U.S. of A. So it was good to read that how Kyoto felt about this was that it was NOT a good situation!

I won this Hardcover book in a Goodreads giveaway.

[Danielle | Dogmombookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25

[Elena L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

[3.5/5 stars]

In SEE:LOSS. SEE ALSO:LOVE, Kyoko decides to raise her son Alex in San Francisco rather than return to Japan, after her husband death.

Told in four sections of vignettes, one follows Kyoko's fluctuating emotions as she interacts with different members of family. The narrative Tominaga crafts for Kyoko highlights that grief is not linear, it takes different shapes and comes in waves at the most unexpected times. The story is about grief, grieving people who long for warmth, often trying to understand yet don't accept the law of nature.

Tominaga offers candid conversations and grief isn't sugar-coated - as Kyoko navigates grief as first-year mourner, family and love are redefined. Kindness and tenderness are embedded in a plot written with evocative prose, in which the author delivers a vulnerable examination of (second chance at) happiness, motherhood, culture and immigration. Meandering at times, the story rewards readers with the premonition of love, even if healing isn't the sole path.

Ultimately, SEE is a raw art of searching for soul from characters who share a bond by loss. Often contemplative, I found this tale about grief beautiful.

[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Scribner books . All opinions are my own ]

[ColleenSC (colleenallbooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Scribner Books for sending me an ARC of this book.

The premise for this series of connected vignettes is straightforward: a Japanese mother raises her son in America after her husband’s tragic death. But as the narrative skips back and forth through time, Tominaga demonstrates the haphazard paths of grief and love in our lives. Expect laughter, tears, and a vivid examination of human connection, with all its pain and poignancy.

[Fay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Scribner Books for my #gifted copy of See: Loss. See Also: Love.  #ScribnerInfluencer!

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: 𝐒𝐞𝐞: 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐬. 𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨: 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫: 𝐘𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐤𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐚
𝐏𝐮𝐛 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞: 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟕, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

Oh my heart! I absolutely loved this book about find oneself after experiencing a tragic loss. I found this book to be so incredibly moving and so impactful for me, personally, at this time in my life. Tominaga has such a beautiful way with words and I found such comfort and healing in this book. This was definitely an emotional read, but the author was able to also infuse humor throughout the book. I fell in love with the characters, and the role they played in Kyoko’s life, especially her Bubbe. I appreciated how the book was broken into four sections, and really felt like the format worked so well. I loved the message about grief not being a linear process and just found this book to be such a beautiful and moving novel! I cannot recommend this one enough!

[Mellie · Rating 2 out of 5]

respectfully not my favorite. the writing was good and i really liked the idea but it just wasn’t for me. also while typing this review i received one of the heinous chain messages about biden dropping out and almost forwarded it to mema on accident so i wanted to share that update with everyone. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 tired of living in major historical events and unprecedented times. ttyl.

[rini · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Lauren Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 actual rating. the part I found the most interesting was the mother/son relationship. the daughter-in-law/mother-in-law dynamic was also interesting to read about. would recommend if you’re looking for a quick lit fic read with minimal plot.

[janna · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Ananti Wungudita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do wonder why most Japanese authors write about grief exquisitely. It's an honest one for sure. Similar to how Banana Yoshimoto talking about grief in a heartwarming way, but Yukiko Tominaga was more in a silly way *in a good way ofc*.

[Dunja Brala · Rating 3 out of 5]

Für das Wort vermissen, scheint es auf japanisch keinen gleichwertigen Begriff zu geben. Das Gefühl gibt es, aber wie in Worte fassen? Für Kyoko wird das eine jahrelange Suche.

Ihr Mann stirbt plötzlich, als der kleine Sohn Alex noch nicht einmal zwei Jahre alt ist. Sie lebt als Japanerin in San Francisco, ist dort ziemlich allein und muss nun, mit einem Haufen Schulden im Nacken, sich und ihr Kind durchbringen. Für die Trauer scheint da nicht wirklich Raum zu sein. Auch nicht für die Wut, die sie empfindet, weil ihr Mann nicht für die Familie gesorgt hat und sie jetzt auf Hilfe anderer angewiesen ist. Und doch ist die allgegenwärtig, äußert sich aber auf vielfache Art und Weise. Kyoko kann sich nicht entscheiden, wie und wo sie leben möchte. Zwischen den Welten scheint sie nirgendwo hin zu gehören. Sie probiert es mit Japan, ihrer Heimat und merkt aber schnell, dass sie sich den Eltern und dem Land entfremdet hat. Auch an der Ostküste, wo die Familie von Levi zu Hause ist, fällt es ihr schwer zu bleiben. Also ist es am Ende doch wieder San Francisco, welches ihr ein zu Hause gibt und in dem sie versucht, finanziell unabhängig zu werden und ihr Kind großzuziehen.

Ein abwechslungsreiches Personal hilft, unserer Protagonistin auf dem Boden zu bleiben und sich in der Orientierungslosigkeit nicht zu verlieren. Da ist zum einen Bubbe, die Mutter ihres verstorbenen Mannes. Sie nimmt sich ihrer an, resolut und mit verrückten Ideen, spontan und mit einer Vorliebe für gutes Essen und die Zukunft ihrer Schwiegertochter kümmert sie sich, und wendet dabei manchmal sehr unorthodoxe Methoden an. Sie wirbelt immer mal wieder durch den anekdotisch erzählten Roman, und ich hatte beim Lesen den Eindruck, dass sie eine tiefe Liebe zu Kyoko empfindet.

Alex, ihren Sohn lernen wir in verschiedenen Altersstadien kennen. Er ist ein wirklich außergewöhnliches Kind, dass seiner Mutter eine gute Stütze ist. Er kann sich abgrenzen und Zuwendung zeigen, und ich mochte ihn als Protagonisten wirklich sehr. Er zeigt die Emotionen, zu denen seine Mutter nicht in der Lage scheint. Kyoko blieb mir manchmal zu ätherisch, wie eine Papierpuppe, die bei jedem Windstoß wegzuwehen droht.
Deshalb waren die beiden Nebenfiguren wichtig, denn sie machen den Roman erst so richtig lebendig.

Mi Cha, Kyokos Mitbewohnerin hingegen blieb für mich blass und trat kaum in Erscheinung.

Das Vermissen ist allgegenwärtig. Das vermissen eines Partners, der auch wirklich einer ist, das vermissen von Sicherheit und von Heimat. Kyoko versucht alles um dieses Gefühl in den Griff zu kriegen. Sie lässt sich hinein fallen und versinkt beinahe in einer Depression, sie klammert sich an ihr Kind und experimentiert im Umgang mit diesem. Dann wiederum ignoriert sie das traurige Gefühl, ist mit Arbeit und Alltag beschäftigt und versucht die dunkle Wolke, die über ihr schwebt zu ignorieren. Immer dann, wenn sie die Trauer zu vergessen scheint, kommt das schlechte Gewissen und holt sie ein.

Tominaga verwendet eine interessante Art des Erzählens, die mir so selten untergekommen ist. Die Episoden sind in keinster Weise chronologisch. Die Erzählung ist sprunghaft, wechselt die Zeiten manchmal an jedem Absatz und ich musste mich ein ums andere Mal neu orientieren, in welcher Phase ich mich denn gerade befinde. Das macht es manchmal etwas schwer einzuordnen, wie sich die Protagonistin entwickelt hat. Trotzdem ging mir das Lesen sehr leicht von der Hand, was sicherlich an der scharfen Beobachtungsgabe der Autorin liegt. Das lässt die Umgebung auch dann plastisch erscheinen, wenn man einen plötzlichen Szene Wechsel hat und noch auf der Suche danach ist, worum es denn gerade im Moment geht.

Ein außergewöhnlich erzählter Roman, der in längeren Episoden ein Gesamtbild zeichnet, dass einige Risse hat. Ich empfehle Ihn allen, die sich zwischen Kulturen bewegen, nach Worten für Emotionen suchen und sie vielleicht nicht finden.

[littlefoot_books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kyoko is a young Japanese American living in San Francisco with her husband and two year old son. When her husband unexpectedly dies, she has to decide whether to move to Massachusetts and live with her late husband’s family, or stay put and raise her son on her own. The book is a series of vignettes from Kyoko’s perspective that move around in time.

This small book packs a big punch emotionally. While it does begin with a heartbreaking loss, there is so much joy within these pages. Kyoko’s relationship with her Jewish mother-in-law, Bubbe, is so lovely. Bubbe accepts Kyoko for who she is with no judgement, lets her be herself and supports her unconditionally. It’s a beautiful thing. I can understand the delicate dance of raising a child within two different cultures and wanting him to appreciate and experience both fully. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

Tominaga weaves together different cultures and highlights the many ways we grieve, experience loss, and heal. How she accomplished so much, in so few words is remarkable. This is an incredible debut! Do not miss this one!

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

gifted by the publisher

After her husband's untimely death, Kyoko decides to raise her son in SF, away from her parents in Japan and Jewish in-laws in Boston. Through vignettes, Kyoko's fluctuating emotions demonstrate the range of grief and loss, and ultimately, how one moves on when all seems lost.

SEE is an all-vibes no-plot story that reminds me of CHEMISTRY (Weike Wang) and GOODBYE, VITAMIN (Rachel Khong) stylistically. I love the various characters who show her kindness along the way, especially her quirky mother-in-law. Through contemplating prose, Tominaga beautifully demonstrates that raising a child takes a village, and heal a wound takes a community.

Due to the meandering narrative, I couldn't get a good sense of who Kyoko is. Is her coldness toward her dead husband due to grief? Rage? The writing held me at arm's length at times, and I wish there was a more central theme to tie the story together. I recommend SEE to those looking for vignettes about grief with a quirky narrative.

[Inge H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alleinerziehende Mutter

Vermissen auf Japanisch ist ein fesselnder Roman von Yukiko Tominaga. Die Autorin stammt aus Japan und lebt jetzt in San Francisco.
Ihre Protagonistin Kyoko hat den gleichen Hintergrund. Wunderbar schildert Yukiko die Gedanken und Ängste Kyokos.. Ihr Mann ist verunglückt, als der Sohn Alex zwei Jahre alt ist. Sie lebt jetzt von einer kleinen Rente. Toll ist die Schwiegermutter beschrieben, die immer mal wieder zu Besuch kommt.
Gut lernt man auch die japanischen Frauen kennen, ihre Ansichten sind erfrischend. Witzig ist, als Alex fünfzehn ist und eine Freundin hat. Da macht sich Kyoko so ihre Gedanken.
Der Schreibstil ist mitreißend und Amüsant. Ich war von diesem Roman gefangen.

[A Sparrow's Melody · Rating 2 out of 5]

Look, I get the point of this book. But I recognize the fact that I'm not emotionally mature enough to comment on the grief of Kyoko and her hardships, seeing as I'm neither 40, nor have been widowed, and nor have I a child. But I still feel deeply about some other parts of books, so this is what this is for.

Some things I really like about the book. It had a very nice concept. In the first 50% of the book, I love how Kyoko's grief was treated. She was confused and hated Levi for making her grieve him, etc. etc. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it was beautifully written and depicted. The struggles of being a single mother were very real. I loved how the book was written sort of like the diary entries of an aggrieved person. Overall, it was - at least in the first half - a beautiful story, about losing someone and trying to find love again.

Slowly and steadily though, the book loses the plot. Suddenly it turns into this mish-mash of stories of Kyoko's ultra-traumatized life (which I never wanted to read in the first place). There were SO MANY SUB-PLOTS and SO MANY CHARACTERS that none of them made sense anymore! Look, I get that this was written as catharsis for the author but if she really wanted a diary, she shouldn't have published this. We're not here to read diary entries of a random human. We're here for stories. And all books - yes, even the non-fiction books - NEEDS an overarching POINT, a THEME, a STORY. This book had no spine and hence the author couldn't build a proper human around it.

The point of this story could have been made even with a proper chronological order, a small cast of characters, and ONE main story instead of too many random mini plots.

Because with the multiple sub-plots, by the end of the book, it turned from "Kyoko's grief over losing her husband and then having to raise her child alone" to "Kyoko's very bad, no good, terrible, horrible, unhappy life, and let's throw in some financial instability, cancer, and a sex scene with a cheating man in the last 10 pages to make it seem like it's for adults."

OH MY GOD. WHAT?

The grief was very, very shallow. Yes, in the first half of the book, I could say that it had potential. Lots of it. But then it started to derail. I just felt that there were so many characters yet none of them had a lasting impact at all. Plus the book was about people grieving and moving on with their lives, so why are so many people just... okay? Bubbe, Zaydeh, your son just DIED, show some sympathy! Which I mean, sure, people deal with grief in different ways but really, man? YOUR SON just DIED. Come on.

This might just be my opinion, but I feel that showing how grief isn't clean, isn't spotless, isn't just "5 stages of grief" cannot properly be shown when the book itself is written in a non-chronological order. Both things can't be non-chronological at the same time.

The characters were somewhat shallow and poorly thought-out, and now if I go on I think I'm going to burst a vein in my forehead due to the frustration I feel while writing this so I'm just going to go.

All I'm going to say is that the book was NOTHING like the title, or even the blurb. I was very disappointed.

[Buchdoktor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Als Kyokos Mann Levi überraschend tödlich verunglückt, hat seine junge japanische Frau in den USA noch nicht Fuß gefasst. Bisher betreute sie ihren kleinen Sohn Alex und verließ sich auf die Versorgung durch ihren Partner. Kyokos Trauer um Levi enthält eine gehörige Portion Wut darüber, mit Schulden, einem Hardwarestore, den sie offenbar allein nicht weiterführen kann, und dem gemeinsamen Sohn Alex zurückgelassen worden zu sein. „Bubbe“/Großmutter, ihre Schwiegermutter, und ihr Schwager Ben nehmen Kyoko in bester jüdischer Tradition in der Familie auf und werden sich fortan um sie kümmern. Bubbe (die als Geschiedene am Singleleben durchaus Geschmack gefunden hat), demonstriert mit ihrem Lebensstil in peinlicher Weise, dass Kyoko mit einer bescheidenen Witwenrente an allen Ecken sparen muss. Bens menschliche und finanzielle Fürsorge lässt dagegen die Schattenseiten seiner Helferrolle ahnen, zu der seine Religion und Kultur ihn verpflichten. Episodenhaft erfahren wir in Rückblicken, wie Kyoko in bescheidenen Verhältnissen in Japan aufwuchs, zum Studium in die USA kam und die Beziehung zu Levi durchaus als Chance wahrnahm, eine Aufenthaltserlaubnis zu erheiraten. Kyokos Gespräche mit ihrer koreanischen Mitbewohnerin Mi Cha zeigen, dass sie noch einen weiten Weg vor sich hat, bevor sie sich in den USA heimisch fühlen kann – und hoffentlich beruflich auf eigenen Füßen stehen.

Fazit
Yukiko Tominaga fesselt ihre Leser:innen, indem sie Kyokos Lebenssituation nach und nach scheibchenweise aufdeckt und ihre Protagonistin als Wanderin zwischen zwei Kulturen zeigt, die beide für eine alleinerziehende Frau ohne Beruf positive und negative Seiten haben. Kyokos Fantasie, evtl. nach Japan zurückzukehren und ihre USA-Erfahrung beruflich zu nutzen, muss ein Traum bleiben, weil auch sie sich Levis Familie gegenüber verpflichtet fühlt - und dem amerikanischen Staat, der ihre Rente finanziert. Auch wenn Kyokos passive Art für mich eine Geduldsprobe war, konnte mich Yukiko Tominagas Stil fesseln, mit dem sie Details aus dem Leben ihrer Protagonistin hervorzauberte.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

𝑺𝑬𝑬: 𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑺. 𝑺𝑬𝑬 𝑨𝑳𝑺𝑶: 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬. 𝒃𝒚 𝒀𝒖𝒌𝒊𝒌𝒐 𝑻𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒂, #gifted by @scribnerbooks @simonandschuster which came out last week.

I am quite moved by this novel about grief and love (which is often a similar thing).

Kyoko is a young Japanese woman who meets and marries her American Jewish boy after realizing they are pregnant. Only a few years later, on the first trip to take the young boy to Japan, Kyoko gets word that her husband who stayed behind has been killed in an accident. Instead of staying in Boston or moving to Japan, She heads off to San Francisco to maneuver a life she never imagined.

Following the bizarre trajectories grief can take, this novel follows Kyoko though anger & exhaustion, regret & survival, and finally into a new place of awareness and acceptance, not of the grief as such, but rather of who she is and what she wants in life. I found this journey to be fascinating in its almost stream-of-consciousness moments and reflections, especially with the differences in cultures.

I appreciated the more raw moments presented here and the honesty of not making a story more than it was, just because one has died. Kyoko often made me chuckle, though she would not understand why. I also loved Bubbe, her Jewish mother-in-law who could be just as direct and beautifully insensitive. It was a lovely bond. Some of the latter sections were a bit more detailed than I needed, which is surprising in such a short tome, but I am less interested in...well...I'll just say I prefer closed doors.

For a different kind of grief story that layers in multiple cultures, this was a great read.