Hatchet Girls

Hap and Leonard #14

by Joe R. Lansdale

Your next dose of pitch-black comedy, mystery, and mayhem has arrived as Hap and Leonard find themselves in a vicious and ridiculous situation—just as the best friends may finally be calling it quits.

When Hap and Leonard are called in on a strange request (subduing a meth-hopped hog) by a desperate young lady, they quickly learn this woman is part of a fringe  The Hatchet Girls, who have pledged their allegiance to a crazed and grudge-bearing leader bent on bloody societal revenge. The timing couldn't be worse to be caught in such a vile, sticky wicket of a both boys are wrapped up in their domestic Leonard is in the midst of wedding planning with fiancee, Pookie. And meanwhile, Hap and Brett are hard at work on their new home. Homemaking bliss will have to wait as Hap and Leonard are driven to stop the danger in its tracks and better understand the group's mission and the plans they have already set in place for helter-skelter esque mayhem.

Life changes, midnight sneaks, and dark encounters with misguided dames who yell "Chop, Chop," lead Hap and Leonard into one of their darkest adventures yet.

Genres: Mystery, Crime, Mystery Thriller, Humor, Thriller, Audiobook, Thriller Suspense

281 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 19, 2025

About the author

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Reviews

[TheConnieFox · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short novella was a unique, twisted dark comedy! I was initially intrigued by the cover of this book, so I went into reading this book blindly. It came with mysterious vibes, adventure and strange characters. I was really confused at the beginning of this novel because it seemed like there was just a lot going on at once. It was a bit overwhelming at the beginning of the book. It ended up being somewhat of a fun novel, but I just could not connect to the characters in the story. The lack of character depth along with a meth hopped hog was just not my kind of storyline. I did like the atmospheric location, how it was fast paced and how it came with vivid imagery. There’s a diverse set of characters, a clear thesis and a clever plot. Some of the themes explored in this book are friendships and relationships, societal revenge, the unpredictability of life and confronting danger. Be sure to read the content warnings! Overall, I give this a 2.75 stars out of 5.

Thank you to NetGalley, author Joe R. Lansdale and Mulholland Books for this electronic arc of this book in exchange for my honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

I think fans that love to read pitch black humor thrillers, along with some adventure, would really enjoy this! The author is well known for his uniqueness and his books are loved by many!

This book is expected to be published on August 19, 2025!

[Char · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading a new Hap and Leonard book is like reuniting with old friends you haven't seen in a year or two.

This time around our aging team is trying to handle a giant hog berserk on meth, which as so often happens in this series, leads to other things. The banter and the dark jokes are still here and it was fun to immerse myself in their Texan lifestyles.

Is it actually possible that I might have picked up the scent of a series that is winding down? Perhaps. It's probably the fact that this book talks about real life aging, something that most long running series' never even mention. Our favorite team is getting old and age brings consequences. I can't really speak about the other things that led my thoughts down this path without spoilers, but make no mistake, there are changes in the air.

I can't honestly say this is one of my favorites in the series, but it was fun, packed with laughs and some action as well. I always enjoy meeting up with my old friends and perhaps you do too?

Recommended!

*ARC from publisher

[Bill Riggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

The boys are back! It’s another mojo filled mystery full of East Texas weirdness. This is one of Lansdale’s best in the last few years. Everything clicks just right, the dialogue, the setting, the appropriately larger than life Texas characters, and finally an interesting story to tie it all together.

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I want to bust some heads and crap down some necks."

God, I've missed these guys!

Hap n' Leonard are called to help corral a murderous pig. That little escapade leads to a meth lab, which leads to burned bodies in a truck, which, naturally, leads to an elite squad of angry gals lookin' to bury the hatchet.

Makes perfect sense to me, and it will to you if you've been down the road a time or two with this dynamic duo.

There's a very large body count in this one, but an equal number of laugh-out-loud moments. Somehow Leonard always gets the best lines. One of my favorites was, "So good to see you again, you hunk of pig shit." (It's the perfect thing to say when the right words seem to escape you . . . )

Everyone is getting older . . . even Hap n' Leonard, and much as they'd like to ease into retirement, I suspect this will not be their last shady adventure.



Thanks to NetGalley and Mulholland Books for the read.

[R L HERSKOWITZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars rounded up to 4 Stars

This book was a weird one in the series.
Great dialogue.
It did have me laughing a great deal.
The hatchet girls didn’t appear until around page 100 of the book.
The story is extremely bizarre, yet funny in a warped manner.

Triggers:
Use of obscenities
Gory, brief scenes
Drugs

Some lines from the book.
“We’d have to put that on our cards:
WE ARE IN THE DANGER BUSINESS.
Or DANGER IS OUR BUSINESS.
Or DANGER IS US.”


Please read other reviews for different opinions and more information.

[Vonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wait… this is a whole series?! I had no idea! I need to binge the entire Hap and Leonard series ASAP because these two seriously crack me up!

I was building my bookshelves yesterday while listening to the ALC of this one, and I was over here laughing my butt off—like full-on cackling. The characters were so unhinged and chaotic that I couldn’t stop listening! No joke, I finished this in a single day. I had such a good time with this one!

Thank you, Hatchet Audio, for my gifted copy for an honest review!

[Ben A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hatchet Girls really had the classic mojo juice of the very best of the Hap and Leonard tales and I had to force myself to conserve pages, so I didn't read it all in one sitting. When this series is really cooking, all I want to do is sit and read about some of my favorite characters.

Special Thanks to Mulholland Books and Netgalley for the digital ARC. This was given to me for an honest review.

[Maven Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hatchet Girls by Joe R. Lansdale is a darkly comic, wildly unpredictable entry in the long‑running Hap and Leonard crime fiction series, bringing back the beloved duo into perhaps one of their most absurdly violent and pitch‑blackly funny investigations yet.

In this fourteenth installment, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are pulled out of their domestic lives (one building a home, the other planning a wedding) when a desperate woman hires them to subdue a meth‑hopped hog terrorizing her property, a job that soon spirals into body counts, drug labs, and a cult‑like gang of vengeance‑driven women known as the Hatchet Girls. What starts as an outrageous, hilarious premise quickly becomes a bloody chase through East Texas mayhem involving corrupt cops, rival drug factions, and a fringe group hell‑bent on bloody revenge with hatchets, axes, and gasoline.

From the very first chaotic scenes, yes, including the meth‑fueled pig mayhem, Lansdale’s signature blend of dark humor, sharp dialogue, and gritty violence pulses through every chapter, threading together absurdity and genuine danger in a way only he can. Longtime fans delight in Hap and Leonard’s crackerjack banter, nostalgic camaraderie, and wise‑cracking resilience even as they grapple with middle‑age, changing priorities, and hard‑earned wisdom.

The Hatchet Girls themselves, radicalized women caught in cycles of abuse and vigilantism, add an unpredictable, disturbing edge that pushes the story into both grotesque satire and tense crime‑thriller territory.

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars. I’m giving Hatchet Girls four stars because it perfectly captures what makes this series addictive: Lansdale’s razor‑sharp voice, his willingness to push chaos to the brink, and the emotional bond between Hap and Leonard that grounds the absurdity in real affection and history.

While the plot occasionally tips into over‑the‑top violence that isn’t for every reader, the combination of dark humor, Texan atmosphere, and unpredictable twists makes this a satisfying, unforgettable ride, especially for fans of classic hard‑boiled crime fiction with a weird, wonderfully wild edge.

[David Simon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m just gonna say it—Joe Lansdale is a national treasure who should be talked about in the same breath as American writers like Twain, Steinbeck, and Faulkner. His novels and short stories, most set in East Texas, confront violence, racism, and poverty in language that can be both lyrical and downright ugly, sometimes in the same sentence. And unlike those other fellas (Twain excepted) he’s often howlingly funny. He’s also a better dialogue writer than any of them.

I love all of Lansdale’s work, but the Hap and Leonard books are my absolute favorites. After all this time—the first, Savage Season, was published in 1990—Hap Collins and Leonard Pine have grown into complex, fully realized characters. Lansdale has done something downright profound with the many novels and short stories that make up their history. He’s let them age. In the new novel, Hatchet Girls, Both Hap and Leonard are feeling the years, feeling their own approaching mortality. They aren’t quite as spry as they used to be. Hap especially. Leonard isn’t quite as willing to admit he’s slowed down a step.

Hatchet Girls starts with a murderous, meth-crazed hog, and then things go off the rails. Any Hap and Leonard novel is rife with violence and danger, and Hatchet Girls has plenty of that. There are drug-dealing gangs, and a group of hatchet-wielding young women let by a psychotic woman with a taste for vengeance. Lansdale has a real knack for describing explicit violence that’s very much in evidence here. The action, punctuated by moments of black-as-pitch humor, is non-stop. As the bodies, and assorted body parts, pile up, the danger, to Hap, Leonard, and their loved ones, feels real.

Speaking of loved ones, Brett and Pookie are deeply involved in the story, and their appearance is welcome as always.

A new Hap and Leonard novel is always a cause for celebration. It’s like when good friends who have been away for awhile come back for a visit, ready to make up for lost time, hit the town, get rowdy, and generally fuck shit up.

Hatchet Girls drops August 19, 2025, and is available for pre-sale now.

[Abibliofob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hap and Leonard, ever heard of them? If not you sure has missed something special. Joe R. Lansdale has come up with the most wonderful duo in modern litterature and it's a hoot reading about their adventures. This one starts with an easy problem, maybe not what they usually handles but why not. A woman and her children are having a problem with their neighbours pig. How hard can that be to solve? This leads to some really bad stuff that has this pair of Texas boys having to work really hard. I have followed this series for some years now and I also enjoyed the tv show. I can really recommend these books.

[🐴 🍖]

pacing issues. the slice-of-life aspect's certainly one of the main reasons for reading the series, but when you got this like SCUM-cum-manson cult running around skinning ppl & whatnot, seems like it oughta be time to put the nilla wafers away & get down to business, which doesn't happen for many a chapter

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always fun hanging with hap & Leonard…. And Brett. This one a rad grislier than most, but still satisfying.

[amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn’t what I expected. I was thankfully blessed by NetGalley with an ARC of this incredible book.

I will say this book had me laughing, out loud at times.

The writer has a way with words, painting scenes like a demented Bob Ross, giving us the details we desire in a battle. I appreciated the little details.

I appreciated Porky.

I love this book and have already told 10 people to keep their eyes out, to like it on Goodreads and to get ready for a bloody good time.

[Tim Schneider · Rating 4 out of 5]

It starts out inauspiciously. Hap takes a "case" that involves dealing with a huge hog that has been terrorizing a single-mom and her kids in their small house out in the sticks. Leonard, of course comes along and the battle between the boys and the hog is vintage Hap & Leonard. In the course of getting the hog penned the boys come across a meth lab, a corrupt sheriff and a brilliant little girl named Baby Darling who is a science whiz whose life will almost certainly go to waste as a consequence of poverty. And that's the kind of thing that will pull at Hap's heartstrings.

Inevitably all this leads to a string of bodies left behind by the Hatchet Girls, a group of young women who have escaped drugs, prostitution and abuse, only to come under the sway of a charismatic woman who has convinced them to take over the East Texas meth trade in a very violent fashion. And to hell with any innocent bystanders.

I haven't actively disliked any Hap & Leonard novel, but I did think that the last two were extremely weak and among the worst of the series. Lansdale had fallen prey to the "escalating threat" problem and, beyond that, Hap and Leonard felt just kind of...off. This one definitely turned that around. This may be the strongest of the late period novels. The boys feel right...and they're back to being funny. And while the Hatchet Girls are certainly a force to be reckoned with, they aren't outside the abilities of the boys and Brett. And...they deal with them in a smart way (with one definite exception on Hap's part). There's no need for Jim Bob or Vanilla Ride. It's mostly just Hap, Leonard and Brett with a bit of help from Pookie.

And I loved the ending. If this is the last Hap and Leonard novel it would be a perfect close. The boys, even if there's no way they aged in real time, are just a bit too old for this shit. I'm not saying I want them gone. But if Lansdale were to retire them, this is a perfect note to close the concert.

[Laura Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Out August 19th, 2025

The Hatchet Girls starts off with a chilling hook and a compelling mystery that promises a dark, twisty ride. The atmosphere is moody and suspenseful, and the small-town setting adds a layer of claustrophobia that works well for the genre. The central murder mystery, with its echoes of urban legend and family trauma, is genuinely intriguing.

However, the pacing falters midway through, and some of the character development feels rushed or inconsistent. While the protagonist has moments of depth, supporting characters often fall into clichés, making it harder to stay emotionally invested. The twists, though surprising, sometimes feel more shocking for shock’s sake than truly earned.

Overall, it’s a decent read with flashes of brilliance, but it doesn’t quite live up to its full potential. Worth picking up if you enjoy YA thrillers with a gothic edge, but temper your expectations.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and

[Matt Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always good to catch up with these guys

Last year's SUGAR ON THE BONE felt in many ways like a conscious swan-song to this *checks* 35-year-running series, so another go-round with ol' Hap and Leonard was a welcome surprise. Lansdale's still got it, though this one moves at a markedly slower burn than usual. Which is fine, honestly; after all this time, it's nice to just take a breath, kick back, and just hang out these guys for a bit. That said, when Lansdale brings the mayhem, does he ever still *bring it*...and he even freshens up his bag of tricks. And he nails the hypocritical zealotry of his cultish villains to a T. It's always fun to find a great author still serving up sacred cow, while not at the expense of nuance.

[Lisa Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

So the cover is out of this world. I was reading the beginning and thinking, When are the hatchet girls coming in? And what a beginning! A hog on meth and little kids running for their lives to go to school.
Lansdale is one of the few writers I read where I actually feel jealous of how good he is. This is a noir mystery set in Texas and I'm long familiar with Hap and Leonard, but he manages to be funny and tender and dark and suspenseful, and it's a balanced, satisfying story.
Thanks to NetGalley for letting me read this

[J. Griff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Hap & Leonard. This is one of my all time favourite series. This is one of their darkest adventures with what starts out as them trying to help a woman being harassed by a meth’d up hog turns bloody with a bunch of women with hatchets. Both our heroes are getting up there in years with Leonard getting ready to be married to Pookie & buying a gym. Hap & his wife Brett still running their detective agency. Hap is struggling with his past & when Leonard offers him a job at the gym.
While the humour of this series has toned down a bit from the beginning it still has Lansdale’s charm in it. Is this the last time we will see Hap & Leonard? I hope not, but we’ll see.

[Jack Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love reading in the adventures of Hap and Leonard. In this one they go up against a giant pig that is tweaking out on meth. The Hatcher Girls are crazy villains and the violence and gore is described so explicitly I felt sick a few times.

[Michael Fredette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hatchet Girls, Joe R. Lansdale [Mulholland Books, 2025].

After rescuing a single mother from a meth-addled hog (!!), Hap and Leonard are drawn into a case involving rival drug gangs, and a lethal band of hatchet-wielding female assassins. A fun, bloody installment in the now long-running series.

***
Joe R. Lansdale is “…the last surviving Splatterpunk, sanctified in the blood of the walking Western dead.” (The Austin Chronicle) Lansdale is the author of the Edgar Award-winning The Bottoms. His next book The Essential Horror of Joe R. Lansdale is expected in Fall 2025.

[Clint Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lansdale is evolving his bread-and-butter Hap & Leonard series in their overarching storyline. Marvin's gone, Hap's daughter and her ward are off-screen living their lives, Leonard is getting out of the detective business and luring Hap to help him run a gym. The heroes have been past their prime for quite some time, but it seems as though Lansdale is comfortable going on writing more episodes, likely keeping his own interest fresh with their changing world. Leonard still has his vanilla wafers and Dr Pepper. Hap still carries his heavy guilt for murder (whether justified in self defence or to help other victims). The police chief changes, but there will always be the same Official Police disdain for private investigators, true for all detective fiction.

The crime story itself starts with a violent pig and ends with another shootout -- but that's what his readers want and expect. The fundamental formula remains; it's a Western in Suspense/Crime clothing. However Lansdale chooses to tell it, he crafts a solid story every time.

Hatchet Girls veers a little more into comic book villain/gang territory than some of the other volumes. It's not unusual for Lansdale's hyperbole to frame it that way, but this time it's not just hyperbole, it’s an actual gang of knife- and hatchet-throwing women. It breaks the realism a little, but doesn’t shatter it.

We know that, as Hap and Leonard age and find themselves unable to kick as high as they could, not wanting to invite homicidal maniacs down upon their heads any more, there remains a clear path to grow their team with new recruits from the gym. That may help Lansdale avoid overchewing the gum of Hap and Leonard calling their allies too often (Vanilla Ride, Vail, Jim Bob). As much as his fans appreciate those colorful characters, I think the author is mellow enough, savvy enough, to know he needs to keep things fresh for the long game: commendable! It's better to have the characters change and grow than have a situation like Arthur Conan Doyle trying, unsuccessfully, to kill off Sherlock Holmes.

The smart-assedness alone is worth the read anytime Joe inks it!

From dialogue with an aging client:

... I was pretty wild once. Used to drink a lot. But that's a different story, and you don't want to hear about that."

She paused, perhaps hoping we did want to hear about it, but we offered no encouragement.

The local clown-show posse shows up:

Another sheriff's car pulled up and two deputies got out. They wore similar outfits as their boss… They looked just smart enough not to shit in the street.

Justin is the new Chief of Police obstacle:

"I don't like that fucking Doolin. Another guy that missed an inch or so being a turd...."

After losing the initiative, Leonard re-levels:

"Girls with hatchets. Turns out there were more than three. There were five. Now they are back to three."

There's a lot more to find, making for good reading!

I'll stick you up one of those big guys' asses, then the other up his ass.

Brett adds her own color from time to time:

"I think she's starting to see the light and realize a train is behind it."

Hap’s usually on the feminist’s side when they’re not about to butcher him:

"Men's egos," she said. "You just had to let me know you're a real man with an adequate height. Do you want to talk about your dick size?"

"I don't want to say complimentary things in front of it. It already has a big head."

[Bookreporter.com Mystery & Thriller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are an inseparable pair who have tangled with more than a few formidable adversaries. Still, they have their work cut out for them when they must corral an out-of-control 400-pound pig for a client and manage to barely escape with their lives. The fruits of their labor are bruises and a wrecked house for their client.

Hap and Leonard are honorable men, so they return the client’s money, provide payment for the broken furnishings, and assist with fixing the pigpen. The monstrous porker belongs to the ne’er-do-well neighbors, and while attempting to rebuild it, Hap discovers a hidden meth lab in the shed.

They report their findings to local law enforcement, who don’t appear overly concerned. However, this laissez-faire attitude is soon checked with the appearance of the LaBorde Police Chief. While not a fan of Hap and Leonard, he is a by-the-books cop. The drug paraphernalia is confiscated, and the authorities are on the lookout for the drug-running Planter family, who shortly thereafter are found brutally murdered.

Hap and Leonard’s friendship is rock solid, but their domestic lives are pulling them in different directions. Hap is happily married to Brett, who runs their private investigation business, while Leonard is engaged to a local cop named Pookie. Leonard plans to run a gym and put the danger of the past in his rearview mirror.

Hap is inclined to forget the meth-manufacturing family and focus on less messy cases with Brett until he is contacted by the former sheriff. He is related to the Planters and hires Hap to look into the case. As Hap, Leonard and Brett begin to explore leads, they find more dead bodies along the way, including the former sheriff. A warning is sent the trio’s way in the form of an axe to their office door.

A vicious assault on Leonard follows soon after, but he ably defends himself while knocking a pair out of commission. Leonard describes his assailants as a gang of women armed with axes and hatchets. The danger facing Hap, Leonard and their loved ones comes from a bereaved woman hellbent on revenge. They will need brains, brawn, allies and luck to defeat a foe unlike any they have experienced before.

HATCHET GIRLS is the latest thrilling and enjoyable installment in Joe R. Lansdale's long-running series. This 14th entry finds these stalwart friends a bit older and wiser, but always ready for battle when necessary. While Hap and Leonard bear the scars of engagement with numerous henchmen, assassins and psychopaths, they have never backed down from a fight or walked away.

Lansdale’s literary gift is creating new and refreshing trouble for the lovable pair to become ensnared in. He imbues this story with the right amount of cynicism and dark humor to make you laugh and the right amount of heart to buoy your spirit. The finished product is a rip-roaring action narrative that will make you pine for more from this prolific writer.

Reviewed by Philip Zozzaro

[Get Your Tinsel in a Tangle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jumping into book 14 of a series with Hap and Leonard is a bit like crashing a reunion where everyone already knows the dirt, the punchlines, and who’s definitely going to get their ass kicked next. But here I am, freshly bingeing on Hatchet Girls and honestly? I had a damn good time watching Lansdale’s ragtag duo stumble into a rather glorious mess. It’s like slipping into your favorite pair of beat-up boots. Comfortable, a little rough around the edges, and guaranteed to kick some serious ass... even if those boots are starting to show their age.

Now, if you don’t know Hap Collins and Leonard Pine (oops!), these two are the literary equivalent of your cranky but lovable oddball best friends who keep finding themselves in escalatingly ridiculous situations. This time? They’re tasked with wrangling a meth-addicted hog. Yes, a hog on meth. You can’t make this stuff up, people. But the hog is just the opening act in a circus featuring a fringe group called The Hatchet Girls, a motley crew of vengeance-fueled women who have a taste for gas, hatchets, and general chaos. Basically, your classic “I’m mad at the world and here’s how I’ll fix it” vibe, but dialed up to pure mayhem.

The plot zips by faster than Leonard’s exasperated side-eye as the boys get pulled deeper into a wild, violent mess of meth labs, bloodied body parts, and social revenge schemes. Lansdale’s trademark sharp and salty banter is on full display, these two don’t flirt, they spar like two old dogs bickering over the last scrap of meat. It’s buddy-cop chemistry with a side of “Did he really just say that?” and a healthy helping of heart under the snark.

That said, I’m gonna be real: jumping into the series this far in means you miss out on some backstory and nuance. Characters pop in with little intro and references to long-buried scars that probably hit longtime readers like old friends dropping by, but for newbies? A little disorienting. The plot doesn’t always slow down to give you a breather, and at times the story feels a little rushed or crammed, like Lansdale was just eager to get to the next absurd showdown. But honestly, the weirdness of a meth-fueled hog to start? Sold me immediately.

There’s a grittiness and darkness simmering beneath the comedy that hits unexpectedly hard. Hap and Leonard aren’t just older dudes throwing wisecracks; they’re grappling with the weight of years, changing lives, and the question of how much chaos they’re willing to endure before calling it quits. It adds a bittersweet layer to the madness, a reminder that even the funniest, most volatile friendships have cracks and Lansdale lets those cracks show with brutal honesty.

Also, shoutout to Brett and Pookie, because what are Hap and Leonard without their respective partners adding emotional texture and grounding the boys’ wild escapades? Their presence keeps the chaos from tipping too far into “comedy-only” territory and gives this rollicking ride a touch of domestic reality. Which makes the violent, hatchet-wielding women all the more jarring and hilarious.

Bottom line: Hatchet Girls is a wild, messy, sometimes frustrating, but overall satisfying romp through Lansdale’s twisted East Texas universe. If you're like me and starting with this book, it's a little like binge-watching a cult TV show late into its run, you might miss some references, the plot can get weird, but you can’t help rooting for the main characters. In other news, I will be going back and starting with book one.

An enthusiastic thumbs-up and 3.5 stars to the meth hog for stealing the whole damn show.

Whodunity Award: For Making Me Root for a Meth-Addicted Hog More Than Most Humans

Huge thanks to Mulholland Books and NetGalley for hooking me up with the ARC. I couldn’t have wrestled that meth-crazed hog without you. Now if only they could send me a hatchet and some gasoline, I’d be fully prepared for the next wild ride.

[Ethan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been a voracious reader of crime fiction for as long as I can remember. No other genre hooks me quite like the slow unraveling of a mystery, and I always find myself coming back to it after wandering into other types of books. That was the case with Joe R. Lansdale’s latest novel, Hatchet Girls. His publisher kindly sent me a copy of the fourteenth installment featuring his crime-solving duo Hap and Leonard. Though I hadn’t read any of the previous books in the series, I decided to dive in. Coming off a nonfiction read, I was eager for something that felt a bit more familiar.

Hap and Leonard have their hands full on the domestic front, happy to let their private investigation work sit on the back burner for a while. Hap and Brett are busy making their new home perfect, settling into cohabitation with all the mess and joy that comes with it. Meanwhile, Leonard is caught up in the whirlwind of wedding planning with his fiancée, Pookie. There’s a guest list to finalize and a venue to secure, but mostly Leonard is just thrilled at the thought of marrying the love of his life. Both men are content, happy even, but if history has taught them anything, it’s that peace never lasts long.

Sure enough, chaos comes calling, literally, in the form of a panicked young woman and a pig strung out on meth. Hap and Leonard rush in, only to discover the hog is the least of their problems. Their caller is tangled up with a crew of hatchet-wielding women, all sworn to a vengeful leader with big plans for blood-soaked retribution. What starts as a bizarre errand spirals into a helter-skelter showdown, forcing Hap and Leonard to set aside their home lives and square off against lunacy in its purest, most violent form.

The term hard-boiled gets tossed around a lot in crime fiction, but it feels tailor-made for Hatchet Girls. Joe R. Lansdale blends pulpy wit with bursts of violence to craft a story that’s both timeless and timely. Hap and Leonard are throwback detectives at heart—unafraid to bend the rules if that’s what it takes to set things right—and following them is pure fun. Even without any background in the series, I slipped easily into Lansdale’s world, rooting for his mismatched heroes while marveling at the sheer lunacy of their enemies. The result is a brisk, wildly entertaining read that scratched my itch for a true hard-boiled crime novel.

[Craig Childs · Rating 3 out of 5]

"It made me nervous to know a meth dealer had the right to carry a firearm. I bet he had a record as long as I am tall and still had access to weapons. Texans' love for guns borders on the psychotic."

"The hospital food was the sort only starving people ate, then after eating wished they had starved to death… Only a bite or two had been cut out of a Salisbury steak. It looked like a tumor that had been pressed with a laundry iron."

It is a slow afternoon at the office, Brett is out on a case, and so Hap and Leonard get convinced by a prospective client to subdue an out-of-control hog that is terrorizing a widow and her children in a nearby trailer. It seems like the neighborly thing to do…

After getting chased around and nearly trampled to death, they find the berserk swine is high on meth… which leads them to a clandestine meth lab… which leads them to a pile of buried bodies… which leads them head on into a war between rival drug lords…

On one side is The Benefactor, who maintains his turf by bribing cops. On the other side is Elda and her band of not-so-merry man-hating Hatchet Girls, who chop their enemies into little pieces after setting them on fire and skinning them while still alive…

This is the fourteenth novel in the Hap and Leonard series (fifteenth, if you count 2017's fix-up novel Blood and Lemonade), which began in 1990 with Savage Season.

Believe it or not, this is a quieter, more subdued affair than the previous two books, with an emphasis on the dark gothic humor inherent in the supposition of a gang of hatchet-wielding lady meth-dealers run amok in LaBorde, Texas.

Along the way Hap and Leonard confront the fact they are getting older and begin making plans to exit the investigation and crime-fighting lines of work altogether.

It feels like Lansdale may be getting ready to wind down the series. The boys are now in their mid- to late-fifties, and their butt-kickery shenanigans, while still entertaining, are starting to strain plausibility.

Here's hoping there will be one or two adventures more that will send them out in high style…

3 stars

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to the Mulholland Books and Netgalley for this eARC.

Joe R. Lansdale’s Hatchet Girls is the kind of story he excels at: a collision of myth and menace set against the backdrop of East Texas, where the landscape itself feels like a character—humid, haunted, and full of secrets people pretend not to see. Hap and Leonard are pulled into another wacky story, a crazy meth ring and a group of hatchet wielding females.

Lansdale writes his protagonists with a rare combination of empathy and edge. They’re smart without being precocious, vulnerable without being helpless, and their loyalty to each other becomes the emotional spine of the book. Their voices feel lived‑in, shaped by the kind of rural pragmatism that comes from growing up in a place where danger and superstition coexist.

Lansdale’s signature humor is here too—dry, sharp, and perfectly timed. It never undercuts the horror; instead, it highlights the absurdity of trying to make sense of a world where folklore can feel as real as fact. The supernatural elements are handled with a light but confident touch, creating an atmosphere where you’re never entirely sure whether the evil is human, mythic, or something in between.

The pacing is tight, almost cinematic. Lansdale moves from tension to action with the ease of a storyteller who knows exactly how long to hold a moment before snapping it. Yet he still makes room for emotional beats that deepen the stakes: grief, fear, defiance, and the stubborn hope that the truth—whatever it is—might offer some kind of escape.

What elevates Hatchet Girls is its thematic undercurrent. Beneath the blood and folklore lies a story about generational trauma, the stories communities cling to, and the way violence echoes through families and towns long after the headlines fade. Lansdale doesn’t moralize; he simply lets the characters live with the consequences.

This is a novel for readers who appreciate thrillers with grit, heart, and a touch of the uncanny—a story that’s as much about survival and connection as it is about the monsters, real or imagined, that stalk the dark.

[Jiří Pavlovský · Rating 3 out of 5]

Začalo to prasetem. Hap a Leonard dostali zakázku, postarat se o vzteklé domácí prase, které ohrožuje místní buranskou rodinu. Jenže z toho, co zpočátku vypadalo jen souboj s hodně drsným vepříkem, se rychle změní v něco radikálnějšího. Protože se ukáže, že majitelé vepře se živí vařením perníku a prase s ním přikrmují. A brzy se do toho připletou ještě zkorumpovaní policisté a ženský gang ozbrojený sekyrkami. A spousta mrtvol.

Tohle je asi nejmasakróznější díl ze série, který už chvílemi stepuje na samých hranicích žánru bizarra. Utlačované ženy, které vezmou právo do svých rukou, to není nic nového… ale když se z nich stane sekta vyzbrojená ostrými předměty, odhodlaná převzít vládu nad pervitinem? Oukej, to už se zase tak často nevidí.

O to víc mě mrzelo, že po skvělém rozjezdu začne kniha připomínat jízdu jednosměrnou ulicí skrz sídliště. Jo, příběhy s Hapem a Leonardem nikdy nebyly nějak přehnaně komplikovaný, ale tady jsou hrdinové možná už až moc statičtí a v podstatě jen čekají, až jim někdo řekne, kam mají jít a komu rozbít hubu. A i ty jejich dialogové výměny jsou až moc postavené na vzájemném poplácávání se po zádech.

Ostatně, ani jeden z hrdinů už není nejmladší, Leonard opustil detektivní kariéru, otevřel si tělocvičnu, a dokonce uvažuje o svatbě se svým přítelem… a láká hrdinu, aby se k němu přidal. Tedy, ne do trojky- do vedení tělocvičny. Jenže Hap zase nechce nechat ve štychu svou ženu Brett, takže ho čeká těžká volba.

Je to pořád fajn čtení - po uhlazeném Aaronovitchovi mi tohle přišlo jako milé pokousání vzteklým psem. Jenže po chvíli žužlání nohy vám začne docházet, že i když se pes opravdu snaží, tak stisk už není co býval.

Od příběhu, kde pobíhají ženský se sekyrkami a stahují chlapy z kůže, jsem prostě čekal trochu větší maso.

[Richard Jaffe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, author Joe R. Lansdale and Mulholland Books for this electronic arc of this book in exchange for my honest review. I kindly rounded up to a 3 star review from the 2.5 it deserves.

When I read the blurb, I was intrigued by the description and was expecting a mystery along the lines of an Elmore Leonard or Carl Hiaasen romp, instead what you get is a rather forced attempt at humor that is both crude and vulgar as Hap and Leonard try to track down the "Hatchet Girls" of the title.

This starts off with a wild and unexpectedly difficult "case" where our heroes try to wrangle a 400 pound hog hopped up on meth. They soon learn there is more to meet the eye as they discover a Meth Lab and soon bodies start piling up around them.

The "Hatchet Girls" do not turn up until we are well into the confusing and convoluted plot involving cousins who are working together despite being on different sides of the law. Somehow one of the jilted ex-wives of these cousins becomes a "cult leader" teaching battered women to maim, kill, carve up and skin meth dealers alive with a hatchet and gasoline to prove some "point?"

There is very little character development as I guess Landsdale assumes we know his main characters back story as this is somehow their 14th book together.

I was sadly disappointed in this once promising mystery which falls way short of my expectations. I will be skipping the other 13 installments of this serial.

[Viccy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are slowing down. Leonard is marrying his Pookie, a detective in the LaBorde police department and bought a gym. He is trying to convince Hap to join him in managing the gym. But first, they have to take care of an insane hog who is terrorizing a family. Hap and Leonard discover the hog has been ingesting meth from the meth lab they find on the property next door. They call in the police and it goes downhill from there. Someone is trying to take over the meth business in East Texas from The Benefactor. That is all anyone knows about him, this name. But a lot of dead bodies are following Hap and Leonard around and the sheriff in LaBorde is not happy about it, but he wants them to continue investigating off the books. They uncover a cult of woman who have been abused and recruited through an abused women's shelter. A former employee is convinced she needs to kill all the meth dealers and take over the business herself. Elna and her Hatchet Girls are very dangerous and they like killing men. What could possibly go wrong. One of the strengths of Lansdale's writing is his ability to put the reader deep in the piney woods of East Texas. Always a pleasure to read a writer with such an ability.