Să i se taie capul!: 3000 de ani de demonizare a femeilor aflate la putere

by Eleanor Herman, Irena Stoenescu (Narrator), Cristina Niculescu (Translator)

Durata: 11h 52m

Autoarea de bestsellere New York Times Eleanor Herman revine cu o altă lucrare de popularizare a istoriei, explorând fenomenul misoginismului îndreptat împotriva femeilor aflate la putere, de la Cleopatra la Kamala Harris.

Imaginați-vă că Donald Trump ar fi fost femeie, pe nume Donna. Ar fi fost văzută Donna Trump drept directă, onestă și „o gură de aer proaspăt“? Ar fi câștigat alegerile? Imaginați-vă că Hillary Clinton ar fi fost bărbat. Howard Clinton face și spune exact aceleași lucruri ca Hillary. Ar fi fost Howard Clinton portretizat în mii de imagini de pe Pinterest ca o vrăjitoare, amestecând în ceaun sau călărind o mătură? Ar fi fost numit „cățea“ pe nenumărate tricouri? Răspunsurile lui bine gândite, circumspecte, la întrebările presei ar fi fost considerate lipsite de autenticitate, pline de secrete și lipsite de încredere?

Există un tip anume de furie – să-i spunem pe șleau sete de sânge – rezervată de regulă femeilor, mai ales femeilor aflate în poziții de putere sau care aspiră la așa ceva. Din lumea antică, prin Renașterea europeană, până la cele mai recente alegeri din SUA, Manualul misoginului, după cum îi spune Eleanor Herman, a fost folosit pentru a le pune la locul lor pe femeile care nu își cunosc lungul nasului.

Într-o poveste care este șocantă, revelatoare și care poate reprezenta o forță puternică a schimbării, spiritul și umorul specifice lui Eleanor Herman sunt utilizate pentru a explora metodele care au fost folosite de peste 3000 de ani – și care sunt puse la treabă și azi – împotriva femeilor puternice din orice colț al lumii, de la Cleopatra, Anne Boleyn, Maria Antoaneta, Ecaterina cea Mare până la Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris și multe altele.



„Folosind umorul inteligent, dar și frustrarea și furia întemeiate, Herman deconstruiește eficient tendința bărbaților de a se concentra pe păr, voce, haine și tipul de corp, mai degrabă decât pe calificări pertinente și pe realizări... obținând un echilibru stabil între cercetarea serioasă și frivolitatea bine plasată. Oportun ca moment în timp și în politică, va fi cu siguranță un titlu popular printre cititori. “ Kirkus Reviews

„În mod direct și cu spirit… Herman folosește o mulțime de dovezi în sprijinul cauzei sale și face legături solide între trecut și prezent. O istorie feministă care înfurie și în aceeași măsură te amuză.“ Publishers Weekly



ELEANOR HERMAN este istoric, autor al bestsellerului New York Times În pat cu regele. Printre alte cărți ale sale se numără: Mistress of the Vatican, King Peggy, Legacy of Kings, Blood of Gods și Royals. A avut numeroase apariții la National Geographic Channel, The History Channel și American Heroes Channel, pentru a oferi comentarii de specialitate pe diverse teme. La Editura Litera, de aceeași autoare, au apărut volumele: În pat cu regele, În pat cu regina și Arta regală a otrăvurilor

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Feminism, Politics, Audiobook, Womens, Historical

12 pages, Audiobook

First published September 6, 2022

About the author

New York Times best-seller Eleanor Herman's new non-fiction book, The Royal Art of Poison: Filthy Palaces, Fatal Cosmetics, Deadly Medicine, and Murder Most Foul, is set to come out in June 2018. Think royal palaces were beautiful places to live? Think again!

Herman offers a rare combination of skills for a historian – her research is intensely scholarly, yet she writes the story in a colorful, witty manner. “History is so fascinating that it never has to be presented in a boring way,” she explains. “These were flesh and blood people, just like you and me, facing war and plague, falling in love, living among splendid art and gut-wrenching poverty. Sometimes people ask me if I plan to write novels. And I say, with all the things that really happened, who needs to make stuff up?”

Reviewers agree. The New York Times Book Review wrote that Eleanor writes “enlightening social history that is great fun to read.”

The Boston Globe wrote, “Herman’s writing sparkles off the pages.”

The Washington Post called Eleanor Herman “A lot more fun than Danielle Steel or Dan Brown.”

Eleanor, a New York Times bestseller, has also written Sex with Kings (a history of royal mistresses), Sex with the Queen (a look at queens' love affairs), Mistress of the Vatican (a biography of an influential papal mistress), and a four-part YA fantasy series on Alexander the Great, called The Blood of Gods and Royals.

Eleanor is a frequent commentator in the media about royal scandals, and has hosted episodes for The History Channel, the National Geographic Channel, and America: Fact vs. Fiction. Born in Baltimore, Maryland, Eleanor graduated with a degree in journalism from Towson University, studied languages in Europe, and for thirteen years worked for NATO’S Nations & Partners for Peace magazine. She is married and lives in McLean, VA with four very demanding cats
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Reviews

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 it was t until the Obama presidency that I started paying attention both to politics and noticed the many things discussed in this book. In my defense my upbringing was totally different. My grandmother was twelve years younger than my grandfather, so he retired and she still was working. He would clean the house, do laundry,grocery shop and cook the meals during the week. She would take over on the weekend. My mom always worked and my Dad often cooked. So I didn't realize how unusual these times were. If I saw them at friends houses I thought it was choice. As an adult I was busy raising a large family but still for many years worked evenings and my husband has child care duties. After Michelle Obama became first lady I realized the critical comments headed towards Michelle and of course by then my reading of several books showed me how different women were judged than men.

Which is what this book covers. From early Egyptian women rulers to now the criticism and women's fight to gain equality, let alone any kind of power has been judged, and unfulfilled by widespread judgements. This book tells it all from the way they dress, their hair, their voice words, actions. If a man cries he is considered empathetic, if a women, too emotional to rule. To be trusted. This book is easy to understand, it is impactful, informative and puts it all out there. Now it is time for us women to do something about it.

I love this quote. "Why are we so eager to blame the woman rather than to admit to the shortcomings of men?

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

That women and men are treated differently is a widely acknowledged given, but exactly how women are treated worse is hazy to many people not on the receiving end. Enter Off with Her Head to quickly and effectively remedy that haziness. With gusto, Eleanor Herman specifically explores how women get treated when in power, when seeking power, or even when just expressing ambition.

Guiding her thesis with what she’s coined the “Misogynist’s Handbook,” Herman examines female figures famous enough that most people have opinions about them that skew negative. Defining the “Misogynist’s Handbook,” she says

The handbook was crafted to enforce the Patriarchy, a concept so towering it must be capitalized. According to [American political theorist, writer, and professor] Cynthia Enloe in The Curious Feminist: Searching for Women in a New Age of Empire, “Patriarchy is the structural and ideological system that perpetuates the privileging of masculinity. . . . [L]egislatures, political parties, museums, newspapers, theater companies, television networks, religious organizations, corporations, and courts . . . [presume] that what is masculine is most deserving of reward, promotion, admiration, [and] emulation.”

The “Misogynist’s Handbook” allows men to successfully block women from the power positions men have traditionally held.

Sexist socialization means women also regularly promote sexist tenets and objectification of women unthinkingly:

A 2016 study by the social intelligence company Brandwatch analyzed nearly nineteen million public tweets and found that 52 percent of misogynistic tweets were posted by women. In 2014, the cosmetics company Dove conducted a study on five million negative tweets written about women’s appearances and body image. Eighty percent of the writers were women.

When it comes to women in power, fellow women subconsciously refer to the “Misogynist’s Handbook.”

Off with Her Head’s serious content comes with a mild Philomena Cunk–style sensibility: When Herman levels criticism, it’s often via sarcasm and wit. The topic isn’t a joking matter, though, and Herman refrains from going full Cunk. Her book moves quickly and is accessibly written, but it respects the upsetting subject matter with appropriate gravity. Herman also knows she’ll make many people feel insecure and defensive, and heads that off:

I need to point out that most of us who enforce the handbook, support it, and obey it unquestioningly are not bad people. Most of us are probably very good people. We merely continue the traditions we learned from infancy on, as our parents did, and theirs, going back thousands of years. Most of us certainly don’t mean to harm anyone. Indeed, many of those being harmed are blissfully unaware of it. The millennia-long triumph of misogyny is largely due to its invisibility.

Her goal is to shine a light on how the stories we’ve told, and continue to tell, about powerful women differ negatively from those we tell about powerful men. To achieve this goal, she called attention to two main things: First, powerful women cannot get away with any of the bad behavior powerful men can. If in doubt, one need only think on any aspect of Trump’s unhinged and abusive behavior and ask themselves whether Kamala Harris would be allowed to get away with the same. At the top of the power chain, male privilege operates like the most perfect, most generously oiled machine.

Second, depictions of powerful women, in fictional stories and in stories from history, have done them dirty. Importantly, this is by design. Herman details how men and women alike have always tended toward an inexplicable distaste of, if not enmity toward, influential women. A 2010 Yale University experiment measuring public reaction to power-seeking candidates found that

Seeking power [...] did not fit the mold of an acceptable woman, who should be warm, caring, and sympathetic. “The intention to gain power may signal to others that she is an aggressive and selfish woman who does not espouse feminine values,” [one researcher wrote]. “Some voters even felt more contempt and disgust toward women when they expressed an interest in power, like there was something ‘wrong’ or repulsive about their lack of feminine communality.”

As this study and others show, the feeling is common and reflexive, not limited to bitter incels and old-school sexists.

Herman sets the record straight for several important nonfictional and fictional female figures. They’re different, but all have in common fame plus falsely maligned reputations. A few are Marie Antoinette, Catherine de Medici, Anne Boleyn, and Cleopatra, all women who achieved many beneficial and impressive things. Some from today are Julia Gillard, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, and Helen Clark. Herman looks at women from Greek mythology, and she even gets biblical, with focus on Eve, Jezebel, and Mary Magdalene, among some others. Getting more general, she looks at language—how, for instance, “witch” calls to mind drastically different imagery than its male opposite, “wizard.” Our blindness to such things proves just how necessary this book is.

Herman dissects all her examples, making Off with Her Head a substantive, deeply informative read. She fortunately omits graphic description of violence, but the description of how powerful or prominent women get treated is horrific and outrageous enough. Carefully cited, the book is example-heavy, especially of historical figures. For those eager to learn about lesser-known (or hidden) history, this book easily fills the bill. When discussing these women of history, Herman does tend to chunk in example after example, so parts can feel like a litany of historical awfulness. However, a pattern emerges that’s relevant to the present day too: The public typically demonized female historical figures and did so in various ways, but accusations of “sexual depravity” have been a favorite, and always lobbed with pure wrath.

Of course as with anything sexist, the sexism jumps out when one compares the treatment of women and men. Usually the “sexual depravity” of a prominent man is criticized initially but quickly loses significance, if it’s not forgotten about. It isn’t a drawback. Herman reminds readers that this shrugging-off applies to everything, right down to a low-effort appearance standard: A man of influence can appear at important events in a rumpled suit, with uncombed hair à la Bernie Sanders and still be admired. A man with power can wear basketball shorts to their serious federal job à la Congressman John Fetterman and not lose their job or even be reprimanded. At best, the public would question the mental wellness of a female politician sporting basketball shorts or a rumpled suit and messy hair; at worst, they’d denounce her as a disrespectful slob, unfit for the job because she’s too lazy to bother dressing for the part. Put another way: Male privilege is embedded.

Intellectually, we know it’s embedded and that it’s damaging, but Herman points out that strangely, we continue to overlook it. Even reputable news outlets, presumably staffed by informed critical thinkers who choose their words carefully, don’t always see it. Journalists regularly refer to female power figures by their first names while referring to male power figures by their last names. They often still note something related to the female power figure’s appearance. They often still imply that her vocal tone matters. They often still use the “unlikable” and “inauthentic” descriptors for women seeking power. These aren’t harmless, just-painting-a-picture things: Herman explains that “ . . . media mentions of a female politician’s appearance have disastrous effects. Research has shown that any mention at all—even a positive [or neutral] one—diminishes her in the eyes of the public,” and

Research by University of Alberta political science professor Linda Trimble has shown that many people find a woman speaking passionately to be scary [...], whereas men doing the same are considered confident and statesmanlike. A 2007 study, “Gender Stereotyping of Political Candidates,” found that male audiences rank men’s speech as more knowledgeable, trustworthy, and convincing than women’s speech, even when they were saying exactly the same thing.

It’s a wonder any woman wants any influential position, and recent news out of Sweden reports of abuse so severe that female politicians are resigning (https://www.theguardian.com/commentis...) Off with Her Head has stories of extreme injustice just like that news article, making it a discouraging, enraging, and astonishing book. Herman expresses hope in the last chapter, but it’s bizarre that women have been demonized for millennia and shameful that positive change is happening only stutteringly.

Despite its many examples, Off with Her Head didn’t answer the big question: What’s fueling the contempt? By including so many examples of people’s deplorable treatment of ambitious women, through the ages and across cultures, and by including all the troubling statistics, the book naturally makes one wonder about it. On page four, Herman seems to indicate that her book will explain the hatred by saying, “Is misogyny in our DNA, perhaps arising as a method of forcing women to stay home to take care of the young, ensuring the continuation of the human race?” And then at the end, the author sounds like she’s finally going to do that when she says, “What is going on psychologically here? Is there some Jungian archetype of the evil feminine deeply rooted in the human subconscious that we want to kill or, in our slightly more civilized era, throw in jail?” These are the kinds of provocative questions we must explore to fast-track positive change, but she stopped there.

She could have looked more closely at a telling detail she included: The criticism of women politicians is along the lines of likening them to uptight librarians shushing patrons, strict teachers, and scolding mothers. If research on it exists, she should have included it to answer whether authoritative women possibly tap into unconscious psychological baggage people may have over their earliest (and therefore most significant) caretakers and guiding figures—mothers and women teachers, both of whom would have likely used a strict tone when disciplining. Does the brain struggle to disconnect physical strength (generally greater in men) and overall superiority? Does the brain too strongly associate elevated vocal tone with children? (A body of research shows that higher vocal tone hinders women’s professional success enough that some get speech lessons to lower it.) Or maybe Herman’s conjectures are right. Whatever the reason, current conversations don’t recognize how dimensional the problem is and give up too soon.

Herman does, however, set readers on the correct path by providing a complete understanding of the problem’s putrid inner-workings: Women can expect to be fully liked only if they don’t challenge the Patriarchy. If they won’t abandon efforts to work in a traditionally male-dominated space, they need to do the next best thing and be pleasingly ornamental, with a ready smile, sexy voice, and nonconfrontational personality. Acting this way, they won’t be regarded as “leader material” so probably won’t attain the power position, but they will keep the patriarchal system comfortably intact. They’ll uphold the millennia-old, secure order of things.

For balance, I read Off with Her Head alongside a mindless fantasy centered on a woman soldier, but that story ended up highlighting a contradiction that Herman could have written about: Women’s upholding of the Patriarchy in real life clashes with how our pop-cultural image of a “strong woman” upholds that system. To be fully believable as strong, our strong-woman image codes male. She shuns skirts and dresses. She shuns colors we’ve coded as feminine. She speaks confidently. She fights readily, preferably with weapons. We cheer when she conquers. She does still have to be an ornament—thin and pretty, ideally sexy—but we don’t require her to be sweet and yielding. We expect and enjoy male coding in the powerful female figures of sci-fi and fantasy but reject it in the powerful female figures of real life. It doesn’t make sense and offers further evidence that this topic is mired in a perplexing psychology that warrants examination.

Complementary reading:

Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America

Too Fat, Too Slutty, Too Loud: The Rise and Reign of the Unruly Woman

Update, November 28, 2025. The problem clearly starts early: The Real Way Schools are Failing Boys: https://time.com/7335723/auto-draft-2...

[Hannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

tldr; atrocious and reductive

With the subtitle "Three Thousand Years of Demonizing Women in Power," you would think this would be a history book. It is not. The majority of Herman's examples come from contemporary women in politics, a quality that would, if executed well, have made me primarily angry at the way this was marketed to its audience. Instead, this book felt borderline unreadable due to the lack of narrative cohesion. Each paragraph went exactly (exactly, I mean it!) like this:

Example of a horrible sexist take
Quote from a female politician's memoir where she calls it a horrible, sexist take
Yet another example of a horrible sexist take
Assertion from Herman that this would have never happened if said political figure was a man

This book could have been a fascinating survey of how women with political power have been treated, especially with the broad brush the title suggests. Even if organized thematically, the biographies of different historical women could be used as case studies to examine how female dress, sexuality, work outside the home, etc. have been treated in different eras. Instead, the same handful of women appears again and again - Cleopatra, Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth I, Catherine de Medici - a sample of women who a) have already been the subject of history books marketed to a general audience and b) do not provide the geographic or temporal range needed to make any kind of meaningful assertion about the historic treatment of women.

Maybe my disappointment is heightened because of the incredible, important discussions that fit within the scope of the book that were completely ignored. There is a section about how women in power are expected to dress, but very little content about the historical symbolism behind this. There could have been a fruitful discussion about how the perception of women in non-Western societies is shaped by imposed colonial ideals. For a book that dedicates about half its pages to Hilary Clinton and public shaming, there is one single mention of Monica Lewinsky, who didn't even have the chance at a political career due to the sexist backlash of the scandal. Every historical example is royalty, and every modern example is an elected official, a dichotomy that could have been explored. Instead of a nuanced book, we got what felt like a book report on a series of memoirs. The parts I did like, I have a sinking suspicion stemmed directly from her other books. Her last book was on poisons, and the section on poisons appeared to be the best researched.

This isn't even getting into some of the issues other reviewers have pointed out, such as her tendency to treat gender as a binary opposition through her "what if Donald was Donna"-style analogies throughout. There is a discussion to be had here, on this exact topic, and this is not it.

Anyway, thanks Goodreads for sending me a copy! LOL

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eleanor Herman what a great book. This is an informative and entertaining read. Her guide to the misogynist handbook covers all weapons utilized by the patriarchy to keep women in their place. Ms. Herman debunks many of the stories we’ve been told about powerful women from history, by showing us the misogynistic tropes used to defame these women, in some cases hundreds of years after their deaths. The true stories of these impactful women and the revelations for why they struck fear in the hearts of men is, sadly, not something relegated to the past. And the absurdity of some of the claims would be hysterical if it weren’t for the fact that they cause such harm. Highly recommend.

[Sahitya · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a well written book this was. I don’t wanna call it wonderful or great though because even the fact that the author had to write this book, and it all felt so familiar is awful in itself. The author does a brilliant job detailing all of the misogynistic tropes that have been leveled across centuries on powerful women, those who’ve had ambition, those who’ve tried to do something other than what they had been relegated to by the patriarchy - and right from ancient Egyptian queens to current American political leaders, it’s astonishing that the tropes and insults haven’t changed much, but the mostly misogynistic men who are leveling these allegations would never agree that they are being sexist and just can’t tolerate a woman in a position of power, whose words they might have to listen to. Each chapter here is an in-depth view of one of the historical tropes that has been a part of a misogynist’s playbook, which continue on to today, and have gained more traction due to the power of social media - and it’s both heartbreaking to read the various ways in which many powerful women across continents and centuries have been vilified, and rage inducing to see it continue today and even become a very effective tool in scaring away any prospective young leaders in making. The author does end the book with the hope that we might be able to fight back against this incessant misogyny as more women enter politics and other positions of power across the board, but I just feel bleak and sad and angry and helpless. Nevertheless, this is definitely worth a read, and may help some understand the difference between legitimate criticism of a woman leader, and a misogynistic backlash.

[Bon · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 10%. Yes, it is [EXPECTEDLY] political, liberal etc. My problem is with the white, TERFy vibes given in just the opening passages and chapters. There was an unpleasant reference to burqa as a bag put over womens heads (despite some choosing to wear it for multiple personal reasons - even Malala says people should get to choose for themselves), and it only went downhill from there.

There are valid criticisms of the smearing of women politicians as "shrill", "unlikeable" etc., but there was nothing new in the long rants about this. In fact, I find Herman's reduction of gender to male or female exhausting; the "what if this woman was a man" hypothetical arguments feel incredibly dated for this nonbinary reader in this, the year 2022.

Anyways, the aggression bleeds off the page in the worst way in this book, particularly given all of the above. On to another book.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely love the title! The author’s breakdown of the “misogynist handbook” was unsurprisingly both rage-inducing and entertaining, nothing too deep or challenging. While I’m learning to catch my own misogynisms from popping out in thoughts and conversations, what I will forever fail at is understanding women “who tell other women to smile [and] are merrily jumping on the patriarchal bandwagon, where they can expect a gleeful welcome and collegial pat on the back.”

The image of “a gravely wounded dinosaur, who has ruled the earth uncontested for tens of thousands of years, suddenly understanding the possibility of its own extinction, and raging against the dying of the light” not only made me chuckle out loud, but filled me with hope for future generations.

[♡ retrovvitches ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

i only bought this audiobook to complete the reading challenge, but i ended up pleasantly surprised. this was more on the political side of things, with somewhat in depth deep dives into moments of extreme misogyny. it was interesting and infuriating, and a well narrated book

[Erin Cloutier · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 but rounding down, which is shame, since my friends bought me this book and I liked the premise.
I was hoping for less surface detail on name-calling and more historical throughlines (not the same 6 women over and over) and more research filled studies. Instead, almost every chapter opened up with a tired trope of out of context Biblical and Greek stories and then flash forward to the last thing a republican senator tweeted. It was boring near the end reading this. Don’t package all the insults of the modern era up. I wanted to hear more why, more reason, a true narrative.

[Patricija || book.duo · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

Reikalinga, vis dar aktuali knyga, kupina statistikos (įdomiai pateiktos), istorinių šaltinių, faktų ir nepritemptų palyginimų. Autorė kalba apie viską, su kuo moterim, esančiom galios pozicijoj, tenka susidurti ir analizuoja to pavyzdžius nuo senovės iki dabar. Vadinimas kalėmis ir sudaiktinimas, vadinimas raganomis ir niekinimas, pertraukinėjimas ir nužmoginimas, deginimas ir galvų kirtimas, skatinimas jas žudyti – ne tik prieš šimtus metų, bet ir dabar. Šiuolaikinės politikės kaltos jei turi vaikų (vadinas, apleidžia) ir jei neturi (vadinas, nepasirūpins ir šalim). Jos kaltos jei verkia, kaltos jei per šaltos, kaltos jei rėkia, kaltos jei elgiasi robotiškai. Kaltos nuo pat Kleopatros ir anksčiau.

Nors vietomis autorė kartojasi ir nemažai žinomos info (ypač jei esat pasigilinę į Anos Boleyn, Antuanetės, raganų teismų istorijas), bet bendrai - puiki knyga. Daug nagrinėjami ir mitai, religiniai tekstai, nuo kurių prasideda seksizmas. Nes nu Ieva kalta, kad Adomas suvalgė obuolį, Pandora kalta dėl skrynios, Kleopatra kekšė, H. Clinton - ragana, K. Harris – irgi, o kitos – frigidiškos, lesbietės (ypač jei vienišos, o pavyzdžių toli ieškot nereik – patys prisiminkit, kokios kalbos nuolat eina apie Grybauskaitę ir Šimonytę, lyg jų seksualinė orientacija jų darbo kontekste (ar apskritai) būtų svarbi). Ypač įdomu, kad autorė visoms situacijoms, kuriose moterys nuvertinamos, niekinamos, teisiamos, pasmerkiamos, randa tuo pat metu ir tam pačiam kontekste vykstančias situacijas su vyrais, kur taikomi visai kiti standartai. Nors tie, kuriems labiausiai reikia, tikriausiai šios knygos niekada neperskaitys, o tie, kurie skaito, gauna patvirtinimą to, ką jau žinojo ar jautė, vis tiek tikiuosi, kad kaip nors netyčia šis tyrimas pateks į rankas tų, kurie dar turi šansą elgtis geriau. Pokyčius pradės ir įvykdys moterys ir gal, tik gal, dar pavyks pagyventi pasaulyje, kur čia aprašomas emocinis ir fizinis smurtas prieš moteris bus tik istorijos vadovėlių turinys, o ne kasdienė realybė.

[Jen Adams · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oy. Where to start. This was a jumbled mess of half facts, cherry-picked examples of misogyny, and some flat out incorrect information. I was so excited to read this book that I BOUGHT it. Hard cover, too. This author obviously had one agenda and sought out the same 5 scenarios/people to back up her untidy thoughts. This is also SUPER West-centric. There are zero examples from elsewhere in the world. How is that even possible?! If she truly claims to run through 3000 years of the history of misogyny against female leaders, then she certainly needed to discuss the Near East, East Asia, South Asia (all of these massive powerhouses compared to their Western counterparts). And there’s no mention of Africa (aside from Egypt which is arguably more North African than anything, and therefore very intertwined with the Mediterranean. Also, only Hatshepsut was truly Egyptian. Cleopatra was a Ptolemy- a Greek). Okay so don’t read this if you like history and facts, because you’ll find either here.

[Nona · Rating 4 out of 5]

As Sookie would say, "I'm sad, I'm so mad, I'm smad". This seems to be my normal state whenever there's a public discussion about women who try to do things and yet are constantly criticized, belittled, treated as less than. You'd think we'd have more important things to talk about in 2025, but no, humanity has not evolved one bit when it comes to women's access to power.

So yeah, "Off With Her Head" frustrated me. Sure, I was already familiar with most of the topics Eleanor Herman discusses. The book doesn't come up with new information, but seeing it all gathered in one place made me smad. In this book, she talks about how powerful women have been vilified for millennia, from ancient queens to modern politicians. Women in leadership have always been judged for their perceived failure to conform to gender expectations instead of being judged for their competence or achievements.

Throughout history, women who wielded power were demonized, sexualized or dismissed as unstable and dangerous. The book presents a parade of defamation campaigns, from Cleopatra, who is remembered as a seductress rather than a strategist, to Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, Theodora, to the female leaders today - it doesn't matter what they do, what ideas they have, how they changed the world. They cannot win. We, collectively, cannot win. Women are blamed for things that men are forgiven for, even when the accusations are not based on any evidence and are pure invention. The double standard is relentless and frustrating.

Unfortunately, even today, misogyny is rampant. Women are judged for how they dress, how their hair looks, what kind of shoes they wear, what their body looks like. We barely hear such criticism of men. Women are too ambitious, too emotional, witches, bitches, arrogant, unfeminine or too feminine, nothing is good enough. If you can't defeat a woman's competence, attack her character, her body, her sexuality. And these critics don't come only from men, but also from women, because internalized misogyny is still an issue. Patriarchy has ruined us all, and the only solution may be the destruction of the entire human population. And it's all worse since social media.

I'm fed up with it. Everything and everyone seems to work against women...

Anyways... I'd give this book to every man AND woman. Because we are also an issue.

I also have some minor complaints about the book. While the modern commentary is valid, its historical sections felt speculative in parts. Herman sometimes leans on conjecture and a slightly condescending tone. It's also very Western-centric. The author says this from the first page, but I still wish she'd given more examples from other parts of the world.

Still, this book is a reminder that misogyny is not a relic of the past. It's very present today. Even now, women in politics must meet impossible standards. And even when they finally break through, they're still told to smile. I hate the world we live in.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Off with Her Head: Three Thousand Years of Demonizing Women in Power by Eleanor Herman is a great collection of examples from throughout history of women rulers, or women in power, that have been marginalized, ostracized, and belittled, and why. It was fascinating.

I really enjoyed this collection of examples and historical points looking at different ways women have been scrutinized, judged, minimized, and suppressed and the famous examples of women experiencing these acts…clearly not because it happened…definitely not…it is shameful, disgusting, appalling, and maddening…but the fact that it is finally acknowledged, presented, and hopefully now will be challenged and changed.

The research and passion presented by the author is clear and it was easy to enjoy and follow along. I thoroughly enjoyed learning more about societal past…holefully to be not repeated again.

5/5 stars

Thank you NG and William Morrow for this wonderful arc and in return I am submitting my unbiased and voluntary review and opinion.

I am posting this review to my GR and Bookbub accounts immediately and will post it to my Amazon, Instagram, and B&N accounts upon publication on 9/6/22.

[Carly Mae · Rating 4 out of 5]

i wish men would read this book and understand.

[Andreea-Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Damien Garcia-Myhr · Rating 1 out of 5]

The amount of white feminism within this book is disgusting. I was so excited to read this book just to DNF it at 4 pages, she literally described burqas(something spiritual, religious, and incredibly personal to the women wearing them) as “ugly blue bags” forced over their heads by men. The amount of islamophobia she packed into three sentences is vile. Anyone who liked this book doesn’t give two fucks about supporting women of color and it’s incredibly obvious.

[Christina (A Reader of Fictions)]

Off with Her Head wasn't really what I was expecting it to be. I was definitely expecting it to be more historical than it was, but really it feels like an investigation of what women experience in modern politics with historical examples used to highlight practices that have been happening for thousands of years. Though there are certainly valid points made, my issue here was how little of it was new information. Perhaps if this isn't an area you know anything about at all, it will be illuminating, but I don't feel I got much out of this.

[Tanya Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected. I was hoping for more historical instances and this was 3/4ths modern examples. It reads almost like a essay on modern politics. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but not what I was looking for. I lived through the 2000s and don't need a reminder of how ridiculous the misogyny was (and still is). I can't speak to the lack of diversity as I'm a white woman and I don't feel qualified to judge the inclusion or lack of examples. The reduction of Muslim women's dress as nothing but oppression was an eyebrow raise. Not everything that we in the West find oppressive is. Again, I can't speak authoritatively, but some do women wear burkas, etc. as a religious choice (and they do have that choice).

I also don't always agree on some of the historic examples. Just because a woman was probably not guilty of everything she was accused of, doesn't mean she was a saint either (*cough* Anne Boleyn *cough*). The whole thing about Anne Boleyn's hair was a bit of a stretch, even though I agree her appearance became a way of dismissing her, I'm not sure QEI's ring is a good example to prove the point. It was gilded.

[Taylor Walworth · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good primer for anyone interested in a broad history of the Patriarchy; for anyone looking for a good jumping off point for their feminist studies; and for anyone who just wants some quick, super accessible examples of women who have been unfairly shamed over the whole course of human history in order to win an argument, family debate, or maybe even a pub quiz.

I can see the merit of a book like this, but I definitely wasn’t the right reader for it—it really didn’t teach me anything I didn’t already know, and it didn’t expand on its central thesis in a particularly new or revealing way. Far more preoccupied with its quick quips, it came off feeling a bit unstudied. (And I am definitely not just saying that because I threw a whole temper tantrum when the author misused the term ‘parlement’, for which I absolutely wasn’t going to dock a whole star off of this rating.)

[Nes · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @23% - I should have loved this book. BUT where the title says “3,000 years of…”, it felt more like a brief mention of a couple famous historical figures and 99% US politics.

I was left wanting way more historical details and pages (which is what you think you’re getting, per the title and the cover) instead of detailed descriptions of the circus that the American parties have been in the past 7 years, including pointing fingers and saying names of who-said-what-about-who in X and Y magazine or article.

[Readasaurus Rex · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. I couldn't even get past the first chapter. I wasn't aware this would be reflecting political and religious bias.

[Elizabeth Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Three Thousand Years of Demonizing Women in Power.” I received an advanced copy of this book from Netgalley, and if I could give it more than five stars, I would. It’s an incredible historical journey into the origins of misogyny and the recurring tropes. Her guide to the misogynist handbook covers all weapons utilized by the patriarchy to keep women in their place. Overreach, and you can expect one, all, or some combination of the following criticism: she’s too ambitious; she’s unattractive; she can’t control her emotions because of hormones; her voice is too shrill; she’s unlikeable; who’s taking care of her husband and children?; she’s a witch (and other monsters like shrews, harpies, sirens, the anti-Christ, and generally any being with supernatural powers, which are often used to castrate men); she’s a bitch (and other animals like dogs, pigs, and snakes); she’s sexually depraved; and she’s a murderer. Some particularly intimidating women find themselves subjected to all of them.

There are even some more modern ways to attempt to keep women in their place and these include: mispronounce her name; deny her her proper title; call her by her first name; don’t use her name at all (call her a “she”); keep repeating that she’s a “female” leader; compare her to a doll; prove that sexist thing you did is not sexist because you have a wife and daughters; use gendered words to describe her; focus on her body parts; vilify her when she makes a mistake (but not him); give her a really lousy toilet in a galaxy far, far away with no tampons; make sure it’s almost impossible for her to do her work if she has young children; and make sure she knows she doesn’t belong there. Every woman has either experienced or witnessed another woman being subjected to many of these things, and part of the purpose of that is to make sure that all women know that when they step out of their prescribed roles, they will be treated just as horrifically. One of the final chapters is focused on misogynoir, the double-whammy of being a black woman. I’m ashamed to say that as a white woman, I hadn’t taken the time to consider how demoralizing it can be to fight two prejudices at once.

Ms. Herman debunks many of the stories we’ve been told about powerful women from history, by showing us the misogynistic tropes used to defame these women, in some cases hundreds of years after their deaths. The true stories of these impactful women and the revelations for why they struck fear in the hearts of men is, sadly, not something relegated to the past. And the absurdity of some of the claims would be hysterical if it weren’t for the fact that they cause such harm.

I found this study fascinating. The Council on Foreign Relations blog featured an article titled, “Women’s Participation in Peace Processes.” In it, they revealed, the “participation of civil society groups, including women’s organizations, makes a peace agreement 64 percent less likely to fail.” Additionally, they found “when women's parliamentary representation increases by five percent, a country is almost five times less likely to respond to an international crisis with violence. Within countries, women’s parliamentary representation is associated with a decreased risk of civil war and lower levels of state-perpetuated human rights abuses, such as disappearances, killings, political imprisonment, and torture.”

There were so many wonderful quotes in this book, I couldn’t possibly list them all, but here are a couple of the shorter ones:

“...it’s much easier to say we don’t like a particular voice than acknowledge we don’t like the fact that a woman is talking. Or even expressing her voice through writing.”

“Have you already chosen whether you want to be a bad mother or a bad minister?” (a talk show moderator’s question to Ursula von der Leyen, Germany’s minister for family affairs on International Women’s Day, 2021)

Not content to point out where we’ve gone wrong, there is a chapter at the end devoted to reporters and commentators, with suggestions to avoid the misogyny tropes. To be fair, these guidelines were compiled by UltraViolet and distributed to the media, but it’s always helpful to reiterate important points. There are also suggestions for what the rest of us can do, both women and men, to lessen the effectiveness of tools that have been used for thousands of years.

This is an informative and entertaining read—so much so, that I read aloud portions of the book I found most interesting or amusing to women in my family—and I highly recommend it to everyone who knows and loves a woman. Come to think of it, I’d even recommend it to those who don’t.

[Katie Bjornholt · Rating 1 out of 5]

It’s giving white feminism

[Kelly Manke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Educational, eye-opening, and empowering. I wish this book was neverending, and I’m sure I’ll read it many more times.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The audiobook is 10/10, I love the narrator's voice!

This is a must-read non-fiction book for everyone. It's well-researched and discusses misogyny from ancient history to the present day. My favorite chapter was about poisons and how women were deemed witches and evil incarnate if they had *gasp* opinions and ambitions.

[Scarlett O.H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I read all year, very inspiring and food for thought.
An eye opener about what an uphill struggle it is for women who are brave enough to make a career in politics. (And who will hopefully change this world for the better in the near future)

[Jess Conley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent research and nice job finding the torturous, awful ways women are portrayed and how they're spoken to. I did think there was a little too much about Hillary Clinton. It almost felt like every other page was Hillary. It may make a good read for the future, as I was more interested in the history as opposed to stories that have been covered on the news constantly in the last decade.

[Jessica Urban · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting and entertaining enough, but nothing new here..

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the perfect combination of informative and infuriating, and if I didn't have a broken arm, I'd be writing a lot more. Justice for all the wronged queens.

[Renee Gillette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I knew something about misogyny. Turns out it was just the tip of the iceberg. Herman explores the patterns of misogyny that are still operating today, from Cleopatra and Anne Boleyn to Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton. This is a powerful book, and maddening too. The author uses wit and humor to pull you through.... but it's not enough to make you feel any better. My eyes are wide open, particularly to my own internalized misogyny. This book is a must-read. I recommend staying far away from the men in your life while you absorb it.

On a side note, why do I feel like this book is written for women? Are men reading this book? Because they should be.