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A Little Less Broken
One woman’s decades-long journey to a diagnosis of autism, and the barriers that keep too many neurodivergent people from knowing their true selvesMarian Schembari was thirty-four years old when she learned she was autistic. By then, she’d spent decades hiding her tics and shutting down in public, wondering why she couldn’t just act like everyone else. Therapists told her she had Tourette’s syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder, sensory processing disorder, social anxiety, and recurrent depression. They prescribed breathing techniques and gratitude journaling. Nothing helped.It wasn’t until years later that she finally learned the she wasn’t weird or deficient or moody or sensitive or broken. She was autistic.Today, more people than ever are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Testing improvements have made it easier to identify neurodivergence, especially among women and girls who spent decades dismissed by everyone from parents to doctors, and misled by gender-biased research. A diagnosis can end the cycle of shame and invisibility, but only if it can be found.In this deeply personal and researched memoir, Schembari’s journey takes her from the mountains of New Zealand to the tech offices of San Francisco, from her first love to her first child, all with unflinching honesty and good humor.A Little Less Broken breaks down the barriers that leave women in the dark about their own bodies, and reveals what it truly means to embrace our differences.
272 pages, Paperback
Published September 23, 2025
228 people are currently reading
4295 people want to read
About the author
Marian Schembari
1 book50 followersMarian Schembari's first byline was at age eleven in Highlights for Kids. It was a poem about dragons. Since then, Marian’s essays about travel, friendship, money, and love have appeared in The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, and Good Housekeeping. At thirty-four years old, Marian was diagnosed with autism. She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her husband and daughter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 370 reviews
November 29, 2025
Ever since I learned that my young granddaughter, J might be neurodivergent, I have been reading books that have been recommended to me. I am always interested in understanding anything I can. I recognize that these books may be more helpful to those that are attempting to learn more about themselves, but I still felt it can be useful to those of us who are on the periphery of those lives we love.
In fact, I love the author’s dedication at the beginning of her book, because in many ways it says it all…
“For Elliot, who sees me as I am.
And June, who’s perfect as she is.”
Isn’t that how we would like everyone to be and feel? To see us just as we are, and to know that we are perfect just as we are?
Unfortunately, when we are “different” that isn’t always the case. We become a “diagnosis.” Even the author states in her prologue, her very first sentence, “I was ‘diagnosed’ on a Friday.” Immediately having to set herself up for knowing she would be, different than everyone else.
But the beauty of her story, is that she is inspirational in her own personal discoveries. She found a way to re-create herself. To love herself. To accept herself. And, in so doing, she hopes she can offer the same to those who find themselves in similar circumstances.
This is her story of her journey. Her courage. It’s beautiful in recognizing the dignity and boundaries of living on the spectrum. And being “a little less broken.”
In fact, I love the author’s dedication at the beginning of her book, because in many ways it says it all…
“For Elliot, who sees me as I am.
And June, who’s perfect as she is.”
Isn’t that how we would like everyone to be and feel? To see us just as we are, and to know that we are perfect just as we are?
Unfortunately, when we are “different” that isn’t always the case. We become a “diagnosis.” Even the author states in her prologue, her very first sentence, “I was ‘diagnosed’ on a Friday.” Immediately having to set herself up for knowing she would be, different than everyone else.
But the beauty of her story, is that she is inspirational in her own personal discoveries. She found a way to re-create herself. To love herself. To accept herself. And, in so doing, she hopes she can offer the same to those who find themselves in similar circumstances.
This is her story of her journey. Her courage. It’s beautiful in recognizing the dignity and boundaries of living on the spectrum. And being “a little less broken.”
September 2, 2024
Absolutely could not love this book more! I love that the author chose to do a memoir, because I have already read so many of the other research books. I’ve never felt so seen.
And so beautifully written
And so beautifully written
September 12, 2024
Marian Schembari was thirty-four years old when she learned that she had autism. In her memoir, A LITTLE LESS BROKEN: How an Autism Diagnosis Finally Made Me Whole, she discusses the obstacles and challenges she faced along the way. There were signs all throughout her childhood, teenage years, and early adulthood that were misdiagnosed as OCD, anxiety, depression, and Tourette’s syndrome. Schembari reflects on how this affected her friendships, romantic relationships, employment opportunities, and even her experience with motherhood.
I found this memoir extremely fascinating and informative. It gave me a better understanding of autism and neurodivergent disorders—especially in females. Schembari speaks so freely and candidly about her experience which kept me engaged and attentive the entire time. I highly recommend the audiobook as the author does a wonderful job with the narration. She’s funny, genuine, and relatable.
Overall, A LITTLE LESS BROKEN is an eye-opening, educational, and thoughtful memoir that I highly recommend. Most importantly, it really changed my perspective and made me a little less ignorant, close-minded, and judgmental about autism and neurodivergence in general. 5/5 stars for this phenomenal memoir!
I found this memoir extremely fascinating and informative. It gave me a better understanding of autism and neurodivergent disorders—especially in females. Schembari speaks so freely and candidly about her experience which kept me engaged and attentive the entire time. I highly recommend the audiobook as the author does a wonderful job with the narration. She’s funny, genuine, and relatable.
Overall, A LITTLE LESS BROKEN is an eye-opening, educational, and thoughtful memoir that I highly recommend. Most importantly, it really changed my perspective and made me a little less ignorant, close-minded, and judgmental about autism and neurodivergence in general. 5/5 stars for this phenomenal memoir!
June 2, 2024
Wow wow wow.
This is a beautiful, devastating, eye-opening memoir about a late-in-late autism diagnosis, which happens to so many women (including me!). Marian Schembari paces this book perfectly, naturally inserting relevant autism research into stories about her own life. Hers is one of many stories about women who spent their lives feeling misunderstood and shamed. Because boys set the standard for autism presentation, Marian and many other girls have gone undiagnosed. It has been harmful and confusing for all of us.
We absolutely need more of these stories. Marian’s is the best I’ve read. She captures hyperfixation, autistic burnout, shutdowns and fatigue, stimming, and social struggles of autism so well. She delivers each story with care and detail, not jumping around too much or trying to tackle too much of a very complex issue. I think everyone needs to read this. Everyone should have a better understanding of autism, especially as it relates to females. She also does a nice job of explaining how women are not taken seriously at the doctor as well, so it’s no surprise that this bleeds into the autism world as well.
I love this book so much. It’s what girls like me and Marian and so many others needed decades ago.
This is a beautiful, devastating, eye-opening memoir about a late-in-late autism diagnosis, which happens to so many women (including me!). Marian Schembari paces this book perfectly, naturally inserting relevant autism research into stories about her own life. Hers is one of many stories about women who spent their lives feeling misunderstood and shamed. Because boys set the standard for autism presentation, Marian and many other girls have gone undiagnosed. It has been harmful and confusing for all of us.
We absolutely need more of these stories. Marian’s is the best I’ve read. She captures hyperfixation, autistic burnout, shutdowns and fatigue, stimming, and social struggles of autism so well. She delivers each story with care and detail, not jumping around too much or trying to tackle too much of a very complex issue. I think everyone needs to read this. Everyone should have a better understanding of autism, especially as it relates to females. She also does a nice job of explaining how women are not taken seriously at the doctor as well, so it’s no surprise that this bleeds into the autism world as well.
I love this book so much. It’s what girls like me and Marian and so many others needed decades ago.
October 23, 2025
over the last 14 months, i’ve been in a quiet period of self-realization, self-acceptance, and intense research as i’ve come to understand that i am most likely (read: definitely) autistic.
i’d endured 24 years of experiences i couldn’t explain and no one i knew could relate to: daily difficulties and sensory sensitivities i couldn’t understand, meltdowns, social stress and confusion leading to repeated fatigue and isolation at a level that (it seemed like) none of my peers were experiencing, ingrained people pleasing and an anxious fear of upsetting others, deep infatuations and lifelong interests that were always easier to rattle on about than making small talk or having unscripted conversation, lifelong echolalia (repeating words, phrases, sounds, or songs out loud and/or in your head), and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!
at 24, i held the unshakable belief that i was lazy, irresponsible, stupid, incapable of taking care of myself, unloveable, and inherently broken. despite being in the first truly loving and gratifying relationship of my life, i felt stuck and scared to keep living that way. some of these beliefs were things i’ve been called throughout my life. the others were conclusions i’d come to after figuring my friends probably weren’t having tearful fits of rage because they felt overwhelmed by figuring out what to eat for lunch sometimes or wondering how in the hell to stomach holding down a full-time office job when working retail part-time was already barely tolerable. i felt like an overgrown kid in a lot of ways and, frankly, didn’t trust myself or my instincts. the year after college graduation is a blurry yet painful battle of feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed by everything and like i was a complete failure.
last august, an acquaintance of my partner made an offhand comment to them about thinking i might be autistic. my partner told me about it and, at first, i was offended and scared. “oh no!!” i thought, “even someone i barely know can see that something is wrong with me!!!” i knew very little about autism and the full spectrum of ways it can present in people, especially afab people, so i took their off-handed comment to mean that they too thought i was all the horrible things i *knew* myself to be.
fast forward to now, over a year later: i’m in a period in my life where i am learning to be gentler and more forgiving with myself. i’m also learning that caring sooooo much about what other people think of me and whether they like me will literally kill me. my ability to hyperfocus on topics of interest means i have devoured hundreds of hours and pages of autism-related content, scientific research, and personal anecdotes and have been able to apply this learning to my own life. for the first time in my life, i can finally understand and therefore believe that nothing is wrong with me. i’m just an autistic person who was forcing myself to live like an allistic (non-autistic) person because i didn’t know not to. i’m learning that autism isn’t a dirty word, an insult, or something you need to say in hushed tones (though RFK and the tr*mp administration would have you thinking it is). autism spectrum disorder is simply a way to describe a different presentation in neurotype. it’s a neurodevelopmental disability that deserves patience and research, not dismissal and trivialization. i am now realizing that this is the first time that i’m openly and candidly talking about my self-realization as an autistic person to those who know me in person. yes, i’m saying it from behind my phone screen, but i’ve always felt more articulate through writing than speaking off the dome anyway. i want to be start being honest with friends and family and normalize the fact that autism is part of what makes me me. it’s not about wanting to be different for funsies or gain attention; it’s about feeling for the first time in about 15 years that i deserve to exist and to be happy, healthy, and seen.
a little less broken by marian schembari made me feel just that: a little less broken. her vivid descriptions of her upbringing, experiences throughout childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, internal world, and her outlook on life made me feel so akin to her. i would’ve been marian’s friend in a heartbeat had we been classmates. everyone should read this memoir, autistic or allistic. memoirs are so near and dear to my heart; i’m fascinated by how other people live their lives. i highly recommend this book.
maybe i should feel more nervous or apprehensive over sharing this much on an am*zon owned platform (mass exodus to storygraph??) but i’ve written this out now and just want to get this off my chest lol. so i’m pressing post. i’m thinking about maybe writing a blog post talking more about this, so i’ll share the link here if i actually end up writing it. much love to y’all, thanks for reading if you do ❤️
i’d endured 24 years of experiences i couldn’t explain and no one i knew could relate to: daily difficulties and sensory sensitivities i couldn’t understand, meltdowns, social stress and confusion leading to repeated fatigue and isolation at a level that (it seemed like) none of my peers were experiencing, ingrained people pleasing and an anxious fear of upsetting others, deep infatuations and lifelong interests that were always easier to rattle on about than making small talk or having unscripted conversation, lifelong echolalia (repeating words, phrases, sounds, or songs out loud and/or in your head), and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!
at 24, i held the unshakable belief that i was lazy, irresponsible, stupid, incapable of taking care of myself, unloveable, and inherently broken. despite being in the first truly loving and gratifying relationship of my life, i felt stuck and scared to keep living that way. some of these beliefs were things i’ve been called throughout my life. the others were conclusions i’d come to after figuring my friends probably weren’t having tearful fits of rage because they felt overwhelmed by figuring out what to eat for lunch sometimes or wondering how in the hell to stomach holding down a full-time office job when working retail part-time was already barely tolerable. i felt like an overgrown kid in a lot of ways and, frankly, didn’t trust myself or my instincts. the year after college graduation is a blurry yet painful battle of feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed by everything and like i was a complete failure.
last august, an acquaintance of my partner made an offhand comment to them about thinking i might be autistic. my partner told me about it and, at first, i was offended and scared. “oh no!!” i thought, “even someone i barely know can see that something is wrong with me!!!” i knew very little about autism and the full spectrum of ways it can present in people, especially afab people, so i took their off-handed comment to mean that they too thought i was all the horrible things i *knew* myself to be.
fast forward to now, over a year later: i’m in a period in my life where i am learning to be gentler and more forgiving with myself. i’m also learning that caring sooooo much about what other people think of me and whether they like me will literally kill me. my ability to hyperfocus on topics of interest means i have devoured hundreds of hours and pages of autism-related content, scientific research, and personal anecdotes and have been able to apply this learning to my own life. for the first time in my life, i can finally understand and therefore believe that nothing is wrong with me. i’m just an autistic person who was forcing myself to live like an allistic (non-autistic) person because i didn’t know not to. i’m learning that autism isn’t a dirty word, an insult, or something you need to say in hushed tones (though RFK and the tr*mp administration would have you thinking it is). autism spectrum disorder is simply a way to describe a different presentation in neurotype. it’s a neurodevelopmental disability that deserves patience and research, not dismissal and trivialization. i am now realizing that this is the first time that i’m openly and candidly talking about my self-realization as an autistic person to those who know me in person. yes, i’m saying it from behind my phone screen, but i’ve always felt more articulate through writing than speaking off the dome anyway. i want to be start being honest with friends and family and normalize the fact that autism is part of what makes me me. it’s not about wanting to be different for funsies or gain attention; it’s about feeling for the first time in about 15 years that i deserve to exist and to be happy, healthy, and seen.
a little less broken by marian schembari made me feel just that: a little less broken. her vivid descriptions of her upbringing, experiences throughout childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, internal world, and her outlook on life made me feel so akin to her. i would’ve been marian’s friend in a heartbeat had we been classmates. everyone should read this memoir, autistic or allistic. memoirs are so near and dear to my heart; i’m fascinated by how other people live their lives. i highly recommend this book.
maybe i should feel more nervous or apprehensive over sharing this much on an am*zon owned platform (mass exodus to storygraph??) but i’ve written this out now and just want to get this off my chest lol. so i’m pressing post. i’m thinking about maybe writing a blog post talking more about this, so i’ll share the link here if i actually end up writing it. much love to y’all, thanks for reading if you do ❤️
Read
October 5, 20242024 reads: 275/250
i received an advanced listening copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.
this memoir describes the author’s experience growing up with undiagnosed autism and her eventual journey of getting diagnosed in her thirties. i loved how this talked about the challenges girls and women, and especially girls and women of color, face when being recognized as autistic—instead receiving diagnoses of anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. these misdiagnoses lead to autistic girls and women feeling broken. i loved how these facts were intertwined with schembari’s own life and experiences.
narration: the author, marian schembari, narrated this audiobook. i think this was the perfect choice as it made the story even more personal. i highly recommend this audiobook!
i received an advanced listening copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.
this memoir describes the author’s experience growing up with undiagnosed autism and her eventual journey of getting diagnosed in her thirties. i loved how this talked about the challenges girls and women, and especially girls and women of color, face when being recognized as autistic—instead receiving diagnoses of anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. these misdiagnoses lead to autistic girls and women feeling broken. i loved how these facts were intertwined with schembari’s own life and experiences.
narration: the author, marian schembari, narrated this audiobook. i think this was the perfect choice as it made the story even more personal. i highly recommend this audiobook!
December 1, 2024
Read via audiobook on Cloud library app and the ebook (audiobook is narrated by the author)
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This book just made me so happy, with plenty of happy tears included.
I related to so much of this book... everyone's experience won't be the same of course but it really did feel like I was reading about myself (her difficulty with math.. she explained it in a way that I struggle with).
It really does bring you a sense of peace, knowing there's an answer and you aren't broken.
I wish I could buy copies of this book to give to my whole family (some of them probably wouldn't get tested still) and pop it into as many little free libraries as possible.
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This book just made me so happy, with plenty of happy tears included.
I related to so much of this book... everyone's experience won't be the same of course but it really did feel like I was reading about myself (her difficulty with math.. she explained it in a way that I struggle with).
It really does bring you a sense of peace, knowing there's an answer and you aren't broken.
I wish I could buy copies of this book to give to my whole family (some of them probably wouldn't get tested still) and pop it into as many little free libraries as possible.
April 12, 2025
5 stars. Rtc.
November 7, 2024
Wow, this book is so eye-opening. If you know anyone with autism, I suggest you read it.
October 28, 2024
This memoir is a deeply personal and enlightening exploration of the author's journey after receiving an autism diagnosis at age 34. With a combination of facts and reflections, it sheds light on the complex aspects of mental health diagnosis for women. The author critiques the biases and limitations within the medical system, questioning why so many women are left undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years.
She examines the concept of "masking"—the ways neurodivergent individuals often hide their true selves to fit in with societal expectations—and offers insights that challenge stereotypes. The memoir serves not only as a personal narrative but also as a call to support neurodivergent individuals. The author also introduces practical techniques for managing overload.
Written with a blend of humor, sadness, and beautifully crafted prose, the memoir reflects on critical moments in her childhood, first boyfriend, relationships with friends, college roommate, and varied work history. By challenging traditional definitions and educating readers on what it means to be "on the spectrum," this memoir not only offers comfort and solidarity to neurodivergent individuals but also calls for a broader understanding of autism in all its diverse forms.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbymedia.com/blogs/transcri...
She examines the concept of "masking"—the ways neurodivergent individuals often hide their true selves to fit in with societal expectations—and offers insights that challenge stereotypes. The memoir serves not only as a personal narrative but also as a call to support neurodivergent individuals. The author also introduces practical techniques for managing overload.
Written with a blend of humor, sadness, and beautifully crafted prose, the memoir reflects on critical moments in her childhood, first boyfriend, relationships with friends, college roommate, and varied work history. By challenging traditional definitions and educating readers on what it means to be "on the spectrum," this memoir not only offers comfort and solidarity to neurodivergent individuals but also calls for a broader understanding of autism in all its diverse forms.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbymedia.com/blogs/transcri...
December 27, 2024
4.5 stars!! I really, REALLY loved this memoir. The audiobook is read by the author, which I liked as well. This is an autistic journey that feels so relatable and real, and it gave me a lot of hope for my future. One of my favorite parts about Marian was that she expressed how “rude” she could be and how guilty it made her feel afterwards, which…yeah girl me too. She did a really great job at telling stories showing that rudeness in a way that made it clear she did not believe it was the appropriate way to act, but it was how she felt in the moment. Idk I really liked that.
My ONE issue with the book is that Marian is clearly very privileged and spent a lot of time talking about traveling and how easy that was for her. She spent an entire year in New Zealand (so freaking jealous) and a semester abroad in high school, and both of those were super split decisions. And then she received not one, but TWO official diagnoses from acclaimed psychiatrists (one being mf Sarah Hendrickx?!) but never once explained how that is like super unrealistic. Just felt very…rich white girl!
My ONE issue with the book is that Marian is clearly very privileged and spent a lot of time talking about traveling and how easy that was for her. She spent an entire year in New Zealand (so freaking jealous) and a semester abroad in high school, and both of those were super split decisions. And then she received not one, but TWO official diagnoses from acclaimed psychiatrists (one being mf Sarah Hendrickx?!) but never once explained how that is like super unrealistic. Just felt very…rich white girl!
November 2, 2024
Another incredibly moving, relatable and informative memoir from a late in life woman diagnosed as autistic. Marian details her struggles growing up trying to fit in (and failing), the exhaustion of 'masking,' her particular stims and so much more. I especially related to her challenges with motherhood and her journey to getting a diagnosis and just how life-affirming that can be for some.
Great on audio and HIGHLY recommended for those wondering about their own neurodiversity identity or fans of other ownvoices autism memoirs like But everyone feels this way, Strong female character, Ten steps to Nanette and I overcame my autism diagnosis and all I got was this lousy anxiety disorder. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
Great on audio and HIGHLY recommended for those wondering about their own neurodiversity identity or fans of other ownvoices autism memoirs like But everyone feels this way, Strong female character, Ten steps to Nanette and I overcame my autism diagnosis and all I got was this lousy anxiety disorder. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review!
September 19, 2024
Marian Schembari's A Little Less Broken offers a groundbreaking perspective on late-diagnosed autism in women. Blending personal anecdotes with research, Schembari creates an engaging narrative that's both intimate and broadly applicable. She vividly portrays autistic experiences like hyper fixation, burnout, and social challenges, highlighting how these often go unrecognized in women due to male-focused diagnostic standards.
The memoir skillfully balances complex topics, guiding readers through the nuances of autism without overwhelming them. It sheds light on gender bias in healthcare and the unique struggles faced by autistic women who've long felt misunderstood. Schembari's stories provide validation and insights for those on their neurodivergent journeys, particularly late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed individuals.
A Little Less Broken goes beyond personal storytelling to offer vital insights into neurodiversity, particularly its underrepresented female expression. The book, available in print and as an audiobook narrated by the author, aims to educate and motivate a broad readership. It demonstrates the power of personal narratives to shape individual perspectives and societal attitudes, promoting deeper understanding and acceptance of neurological differences.
The memoir skillfully balances complex topics, guiding readers through the nuances of autism without overwhelming them. It sheds light on gender bias in healthcare and the unique struggles faced by autistic women who've long felt misunderstood. Schembari's stories provide validation and insights for those on their neurodivergent journeys, particularly late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed individuals.
A Little Less Broken goes beyond personal storytelling to offer vital insights into neurodiversity, particularly its underrepresented female expression. The book, available in print and as an audiobook narrated by the author, aims to educate and motivate a broad readership. It demonstrates the power of personal narratives to shape individual perspectives and societal attitudes, promoting deeper understanding and acceptance of neurological differences.
November 25, 2024
A book I didn’t know I needed. I feel so seen.
January 31, 2025
Such a great listen about a woman who was late-diagnosed with autism. I learned so much and haven’t stopped thinking about this since I started it.
November 24, 2024
This book is a testament to the value of labels - and not much more. I agree with what she states about the value of labels (pg 235) - and have felt that way my entire career. But mostly I agree with "angry mom" and the others who challenged the author. "If we are all ____, then nobody is ____" is a true statement. The author wants accommodations, communities, specialized help etc ... but none of that happens if we are all disabled (to fill in the blank). There needs to be a line drawn somewhere - and this woman would not fall on the side of ASD if I was making the diagnosis.
She complains that all professionals (doctors, therapists) were dismissive and didn't try to help. But she tells story after story of professionals who listened and tried to help! I'd like to know how many of Dr. Marsh's and Dr. Hendrickx's patients DON'T receive a diagnosis of ASD. I'd bet it is very small. The author lauds Dr. Marsh's use of an assessment tool that she created herself!! That means it has no reliability or validity.
I know this is going to sound 'offensive' and I don't mean it to be. But the author is clearly locked in an echo chamber of progressives who see the world in a certain way. She didn't list any of the books I've read/recommend to young women who have similar struggles. Perhaps she heard some variation of "it's normal" and "we all do it" so many times because those statements were true!
She complains that all professionals (doctors, therapists) were dismissive and didn't try to help. But she tells story after story of professionals who listened and tried to help! I'd like to know how many of Dr. Marsh's and Dr. Hendrickx's patients DON'T receive a diagnosis of ASD. I'd bet it is very small. The author lauds Dr. Marsh's use of an assessment tool that she created herself!! That means it has no reliability or validity.
I know this is going to sound 'offensive' and I don't mean it to be. But the author is clearly locked in an echo chamber of progressives who see the world in a certain way. She didn't list any of the books I've read/recommend to young women who have similar struggles. Perhaps she heard some variation of "it's normal" and "we all do it" so many times because those statements were true!
April 6, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I always look forward to reading books written by adults who have recently been diagnosed as Autistic. I am one of those late diagnoses women and I can relate to a lot of things in this book. A diagnostic label is r for everyone but for me, it was extremely validating.
This book is well written. She tells her story with honesty and doesn't hold back the tough aspects, especially when she becomes a mom.
I always look forward to reading books written by adults who have recently been diagnosed as Autistic. I am one of those late diagnoses women and I can relate to a lot of things in this book. A diagnostic label is r for everyone but for me, it was extremely validating.
This book is well written. She tells her story with honesty and doesn't hold back the tough aspects, especially when she becomes a mom.
May 26, 2025
This was such a beautiful way to finish my reading challenge for this year.
While 25 books seems low, especially since I’m completing it so early in the year, I set myself up for success knowing I had a difficult year ahead of me where I would likely have little brain capacity to read. I’m very proud of myself for getting this far and will be beyond proud of reading beyond this point, but I also didn’t want to be beating myself up for chasing an impossible standard just because my peers have their goals set so much higher than me.
Getting my diagnosis was a very healing experience for me. I’ll quote this book: When people ask why I wanted a diagnosis… With a name comes community and care, self-compassion and forgiveness. I’m not invisible anymore.
It isn’t a walk in the park by any means, not even close. I’ve gotten every insensitive response well-meaning people say/do when they’re uncomfortable. Not to mention the political climate and worries about what it means to be an autistic parent to a potentially autistic child and whether I can handle it and if others think I can handle it, too. All on top of the actually being autistic part, of course.
This book was validating in so many ways. Women (girls!!) go undiagnosed so often, too often, and go without support for decades, if not their entire lives, feeling like aliens, feeling like we’re broken, and that something is wrong with us, excluded from normal “girlhood” experiences, always standing on the periphery, trying our best, but getting it all wrong anyway. It’s nice to feel less alone in that feeling. I may still feel alien, like I don’t belong, but I feel less alone and I feel like I can get through the downs of parenting, corporate life, and existence on this planet in a positive way not just for me but for those around me.
Thank you for this book and if you read this review, thank you too.
While 25 books seems low, especially since I’m completing it so early in the year, I set myself up for success knowing I had a difficult year ahead of me where I would likely have little brain capacity to read. I’m very proud of myself for getting this far and will be beyond proud of reading beyond this point, but I also didn’t want to be beating myself up for chasing an impossible standard just because my peers have their goals set so much higher than me.
Getting my diagnosis was a very healing experience for me. I’ll quote this book: When people ask why I wanted a diagnosis… With a name comes community and care, self-compassion and forgiveness. I’m not invisible anymore.
It isn’t a walk in the park by any means, not even close. I’ve gotten every insensitive response well-meaning people say/do when they’re uncomfortable. Not to mention the political climate and worries about what it means to be an autistic parent to a potentially autistic child and whether I can handle it and if others think I can handle it, too. All on top of the actually being autistic part, of course.
This book was validating in so many ways. Women (girls!!) go undiagnosed so often, too often, and go without support for decades, if not their entire lives, feeling like aliens, feeling like we’re broken, and that something is wrong with us, excluded from normal “girlhood” experiences, always standing on the periphery, trying our best, but getting it all wrong anyway. It’s nice to feel less alone in that feeling. I may still feel alien, like I don’t belong, but I feel less alone and I feel like I can get through the downs of parenting, corporate life, and existence on this planet in a positive way not just for me but for those around me.
Thank you for this book and if you read this review, thank you too.
April 16, 2025
4.5, rounded up.
My brother has autism and is nonverbal with high support needs. Growing up, I thought everyone with autism was, as Mariam Schembari describes in her book, "an eight-year-old boy who doesn't talk or, if he does, speaks incessantly about robots or trains or dinosaurs" (paraphrasing) or presents in a stereotypical Rain Man way. Now, having more friends who have been diagnosed as adults (most of whom are not cisgender males), I've learned that this is obviously not the case.
It was refreshing to read a memoir from Schembari detailing the path toward her diagnosis and denoting the internality of her experience; other books or accounts I've read are more clinical, even those written by other folks with autism, as if they're distancing themselves from it. This feels raw and vulnerably and highly personal. I'd recommend reading it to learn more about neurodivergence and how awful adult medicine can be for folks who are not cis men.
My brother has autism and is nonverbal with high support needs. Growing up, I thought everyone with autism was, as Mariam Schembari describes in her book, "an eight-year-old boy who doesn't talk or, if he does, speaks incessantly about robots or trains or dinosaurs" (paraphrasing) or presents in a stereotypical Rain Man way. Now, having more friends who have been diagnosed as adults (most of whom are not cisgender males), I've learned that this is obviously not the case.
It was refreshing to read a memoir from Schembari detailing the path toward her diagnosis and denoting the internality of her experience; other books or accounts I've read are more clinical, even those written by other folks with autism, as if they're distancing themselves from it. This feels raw and vulnerably and highly personal. I'd recommend reading it to learn more about neurodivergence and how awful adult medicine can be for folks who are not cis men.
July 12, 2025
This was a life altering book for me. I found myself reflected in the author's struggles in childhood and before her diagnosis. I understood her feeling of a-ha when she could be a label on what she was dealing with. I felt the book was well-written with other people's opinions and research used to supplement her own journey. I felt empowered to do more research and seek out a possible diagnosis myself. I do feel she was repetitive at times, but it rarely affected the narrative.
February 9, 2025
3.5 rounded up
November 14, 2025
*4.5 This was a really good read! I could practically feel the author’s discomfort when she described her triggers and sensitivities. It’s worth a read for anyone who wants to walk a few steps in someone else’s shoes and grow their capacity for empathy.
November 22, 2025
I knew the term Asperger’s was out of favor but I did not know why. Yikes
October 11, 2024
The middle feels a little choppy but when the pacing smooths the story soars. You can feel the relief in the prose following her diagnosis breakthrough.
October 4, 2024
I loved this so much 💖 Couldn't put it down. It gives me so much strength and hope to see this book in the world. As a late-, self-diagnosed woman with autism, Marian's stories made me feel seen and taught me things about myself. I know it'll do the same for millions of women!
The book is not only deeply personal, but also well-researched and educational. A must-read for every woman coming to recognize her autistic traits late in life, but also for everyone because we all know and love someone who's going through this, and the stories and information Marian shares are vital to helping us understand the realities of autistic culture all around us.
The book is not only deeply personal, but also well-researched and educational. A must-read for every woman coming to recognize her autistic traits late in life, but also for everyone because we all know and love someone who's going through this, and the stories and information Marian shares are vital to helping us understand the realities of autistic culture all around us.
July 5, 2025
Written by a fellow Davidson alumna, this is a beautifully written memoir about a woman with a late-in-life autism diagnosis. Marian leads us through her childhood, college experience, time abroad, transitions to the working world and motherhood - and all the masks she wears to try and be “normal” through each. Her diagnosis eventually leads her to freedom and visibility. Finding a community of other autistic women helps her so immensely to make sense of her world and not feel like such an outsider. Interspersed throughout is research and anecdotes from other autistic women. A very compelling story that will open your heart to how others experience the world.
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September 20, 2024Thank you to @macmillian.audio and NetGalley for the gifted audiobook. All opinions are my own.
Author Marian Schembari narrated her own memoir and did an outstanding job. I listened at 1.75x.
Bookish Thoughts: I learned so much reading author Marian Schembari’s memoir about her journey to a diagnosis of autism. The author was diagnosed at the age of thirty-four. I empathized with her and appreciated her vulnerability in sharing her story. I am happy to know she can get the support she needs regarding her diagnosis and to embrace her strengths and differences.
Author Marian Schembari narrated her own memoir and did an outstanding job. I listened at 1.75x.
Bookish Thoughts: I learned so much reading author Marian Schembari’s memoir about her journey to a diagnosis of autism. The author was diagnosed at the age of thirty-four. I empathized with her and appreciated her vulnerability in sharing her story. I am happy to know she can get the support she needs regarding her diagnosis and to embrace her strengths and differences.
August 10, 2025
I’m a Shiba Inu. “Penny Lane.” A triple crème brie Ariel. I’ve been a thousand people. An adventurous world traveler, an ambitious tech employee, a gregarious roommate. None of them were really me. Underneath the masks lived an overwhelmed, twitchy little girl who—from her very first memory—was told the way she showed up in the world was wrong.
Є така модель мемуарної літератури від жінок, які в дорослому віці отримали діагноз аутистичного спектру, де вони переглядають певні епізоди свого життя, в яких вони всім здавалися "дивними" і "складними" і "неправильними". Тепер усі ці "дивацтва" нарешті складаються в загальну картинку і говорять про нейровідмінність, а не про невихованість чи поганий характер, як всі довкола вважали десятиліттями.
Це хороша книжка! Але я на неї трохи задовго чекала в бібліотечній черзі, і тепер цікавість до такого роду письма у мене вже задовільнили інші книжки. Оскільки черга надалі ще велика, передам пошвидше наступному, дочитавши до третини. Ну бо наративна арка вже зрозуміла :) Інші, які роблять +- те саме (поєднують "перепрочитування" спогадів з часів власного дорослішання з науковою інформацією про аутизм і свідченнями інших аутистичних людей про їхній досвід), яким пощастило потрапити до мене раніше: Strong Female Character Ферн Бреді, But You Don’t Look Autistic at All Біанки Тупс.
May 18, 2025
Over the years, despite the increased visibility on illnesses like anxiety and depression, certain cognitive disorders remain both misunderstood and stigmatized. Autism is one of them.
This is Marian’s story about her upbringing, and never feeling quite “normal”. Interwoven through her life story is also historical and current knowledge on Autism Spectrum Disorder, particularly it being underdiagnosed in women. I love that Marian chose to write this as a memoir vs a strictly objective, research-driven novel.
In the past year, I have also grappled with my own ASD diagnosis as a grown adult. It has contributed to struggles with my self-identity and changed the way in which I choose to conduct my life. This book overwhelmed me and made me feel seen in the best way possible, and I have no doubt others have felt the same way. If you believe you are neurodivergent, or have loved ones who are, you need to read this.
Thank you to NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for the ARC.
This is Marian’s story about her upbringing, and never feeling quite “normal”. Interwoven through her life story is also historical and current knowledge on Autism Spectrum Disorder, particularly it being underdiagnosed in women. I love that Marian chose to write this as a memoir vs a strictly objective, research-driven novel.
In the past year, I have also grappled with my own ASD diagnosis as a grown adult. It has contributed to struggles with my self-identity and changed the way in which I choose to conduct my life. This book overwhelmed me and made me feel seen in the best way possible, and I have no doubt others have felt the same way. If you believe you are neurodivergent, or have loved ones who are, you need to read this.
Thank you to NetGalley and MacMillan Audio for the ARC.
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