Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women's Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours

by Corinne Low

A Wharton economist’s radical framework for empowering women to design a life that goes beyond the work-life binary to create true joy, balance, and fulfillment

To be a woman in America today is to be chronically tired. We face unsustainable demands on our time and efforts in every sphere. Traditional advice urges us work harder, optimize better, and, when all else fails, “self-care.” The implicit message is that it is our fault that we are overwhelmed, that we must be doing something wrong.

This, says economist and professor Corrine Low, couldn’t be further from reality. At Wharton, she studies the decisions that shape women’s lives and the economic and societal constraints they face when making them. And what her research has demonstrated, time and again, is that unseen economic forces have created an environment that is openly hostile to the needs of women. Indeed, her research highlights just how many additional factors women must consider as they navigate a future. Because of a few biological realities, and a lot of imbalanced cultural and institutional norms, women face a unique level of complexity and potential repercussions when making decisions such as whether or not to obtain an advanced degree, what type of career to pursue, when or whether to get married and/or have kids, or even where they should live.

Now, in Having It All, Low poses a radical new framework for navigating these decisions. For too long, Low says, women have been expected to accept labor-intensive, unsustainable deals in all areas of work and life. This book asks the What would it look like if we stopped assuming the problems in women’s lives are caused by women’s choices, and started looking instead at the structural, economic, and biological factors that are forcing and constraining those choices in the first place? And what if, in doing so, we could learn to negotiate new deals that don’t leave us feeling so depleted?

In the same way that behavioral psychologists like Daniel Kahneman and Dan Ariely have sought to understand the hidden factors and biases that cause people make mistakes at the bank or the grocery store, economist Corinne Low investigates how the most significant decisions in women’s lives are shaped by overlooked internal and external factors. The result is a book that offers listeners a guide to getting the best deal for their lives and careers in a world full of constraints. It is also a call to action for firms, policymakers, and anyone else with an iota of power to get to work on the tough job of changing these constraints instead of the easier one we seem to default criticizing women.

This book is not about optimizing. Women are already optimized. Consider it the essential economic textbook for life as a woman—but hopefully, a little more fun.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Self Help, Economics, Sociology, Audiobook, Womens

272 pages, Hardcover

Published September 23, 2025

Reviews

[Emily Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars rounded up
Not every chapter will be directly relatable to every person who reads this book, but every person who reads this book will find something of value in at least one of the chapters. Whether it’s new information or statistics that were previously unknown to the reader or a new frame by which to perceive and think about known experiences, Dr. Low presents the barriers women face to “having it all” in a way that is fresh and validating to the lived experiences of women navigating life in a patriarchal society. While many of the suggestions provided to help women make the most of an inequitable situation will come off as idealistic and inaccessible to those in lower income brackets (a point Dr. Low readily acknowledges), there is still practical advice to be applied for everyone, even if it is only to think differently about one’s situation to alleviate psychological burden.

As we enter a new wave of feminism focused around de-centering men and reevaluating what’s best for women and society as a whole, this book is a must-read for women of all ages and relationship statuses. Gone are the days of entering and staying in heteronormative marital/parental arrangements for the sake of tradition without regard for the real-life implications for each person in that arrangement and the quality of the deal they have “accepted.” It’s time to start thinking practically about the way we live our lives and why, not just for women but for men too.
There is a tendency for some opponents of feminism to incorrectly assume the feminist revolution will be to the detriment of men; this book is one of a steadily-growing number to prove empirically that creating better conditions and opportunities for women will be to the benefit of everyone, not to the detriment of anyone.

Thank you to Dr. Corinne Low and Flatiron Books for the advanced copy of “Having It All” - I will be recommending this to every woman I know and every man with a desire to understand the world they live in more genuinely.

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit unstructured at times but really interesting and engaging, a lot about the economics of being a woman and how gender impacts on earnings and financial stability. Lots of data and personal experience from the author. I enjoyed it.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I liked the economic terms in this book and some of the ideas presented for me, I felt even though I am a woman myself that it simply wasn't for me (i.e. I wasn't the target audience).
Not because it is US centric (which I expected) but because it was promised to be aimed at childfree women as well, this wasn't the case at all. There wasn't even a passage targeted specifically at women who don't want children and how they should behave and manage their utility while there was a whole chapter on children/moms (there was even an anecdote about a woman who changed her mind about children that I felt was unnecessary and just fuels the "you'll change your mind" talks) and every other page was about marriage and children. While I know this is very important to most, there are a few of us that are not into traditional relationships and children, which would have been nice see acknowledged, and at least mentioned in some detail.
Also, considering the current climate, I disliked the ideas in the end that falling childbirth rates are to be feared because then the economic system would fail since this is the (supposed, of course it's not the real one) reason for the decline in women and reproductive rights now. Maybe the system needs to be changed and not women to be "motivated" to have as many children as possible. I feel the author could have spent at least a portion of the time spent on IVF and pro-birth policies on the decline of mental health that the "non-traditional" women like me experience due to the increasing lack of choice around the world.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book wasn’t super relatable to me personally, because I feel as though I’m already not following social norms, but a few of the chapters were helpful in finding new perspectives. I appreciated the good ideas on how to improve our future as a society.

[Kim Hooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING book. All women should read. Well-researched and very accessible. I felt empowered when I finished.

[Todd Kashdan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the past decade, only one other book has led to the kind of perspective shift inspired by this one (Invisible Women). The title misrepresents the profound nature of this book - lots of persuasive data, a wonderful set of advice and exercises, a call to arms with a list of solutions for improving lives, organizations, and public policy, and a touching autobiography.

There is no one genre this books falls into. It is simply a powerful book that women and men should read. I could have been a better father in the first few years of my daughters' being born had I read this then...

Thanks for the inspiration to be better.

[Eleanor S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a thought provoking and helpful book that I think is advertised to the wrong audience. It’s ostensibly geared for women in their 30s who are “in the thick of it” between juggling work, children, marriage, and aging parents, but I think this book would really benefit younger women who are yet to be tied down to a career and a partner.

Dr. Low makes excellent points about the impact of partner selection on a woman’s finances, but it is much easier (and probably less emotionally distressing) to go into dating with a mindful approach and armed with data, than it is to divorce a partner when you’re married with children.

Some of the other points she makes, like not self selecting out of a career due to perceived lack of excellence, are things that I would have loved to hear as a woman in college trying to decide what to pursue. I’d especially recommend this book to women in their late teens and early twenties!

[heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for young women in their teens and 20s. If more women had access to the knowledge in this book, before making major life decisions related to family and career, there would be far less suffering and regret. I love how the author uses hard data to show just how important it is for women to be the architects of their own lives, with full awareness of the forces we're up against. I so appreciate her realism — love (for a partner or job) is never enough, and we must avoid the tempting trap of earning our bread and baking it too. I am grateful this book exists, and will be passing it around to my girlfriends with religious zeal.

[Emily Feldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

definitely one of the best books i’ve read this year!! it’s so thoughtful and informed. i loved the integration of her (queer, woc) experiences with research she’s actually completed!! i learned so much

[Max · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am obsessed with this book and want all of my friends to read it. Manages to be both a data driven look at reality (depressing) and yet full of optimism of how to take control of your life as well as how society should change. This was so well written it felt like talking to a very smart educated friend.

[MEL Oh My That’s a lot of Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Having It All, economist Corinne Low delivers a sharp, insightful, and empowering examination of modern womanhood through the lens of data. Rather than relying on anecdotes or self-help clichés, Low turns to rigorous economic and social science research to tackle a question that many women grapple with daily: Can we really have it all—a fulfilling career, a thriving family life, and personal happiness?

Drawing from decades of research and her own expertise in behavioral economics and gender, Low debunks common myths about success, ambition, motherhood, and work-life balance. She dives into why gender gaps persist in pay, promotions, and household labor—and what the numbers actually say about how women can navigate these systems more effectively.

What makes this book stand out is its combination of smart analysis and practical guidance. Low doesn’t sugarcoat the structural inequalities women face, but she also offers real, data-driven strategies for making better choices in work, relationships, and parenting. Her writing is clear, witty, and accessible—even when unpacking complex topics like labor economics or decision theory.

Whether you’re early in your career, considering starting a family, or re-evaluating your path, Having It All is both validating and useful. It empowers readers not by offering a fantasy of perfection, but by showing how women can make the most of their lives in a world that often asks them to do it all with less.

Final Verdict:
A must-read for women seeking clarity, confidence, and control in their lives. Corinne Low combines data and heart to illuminate the real trade-offs—and real opportunities—of trying to have it all.

Advanced Reader Copy

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4/5 stars)

[Natalie Park · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. The audience for this book pertains to younger women from those starting their careers to those with children. Great information!

[Rosie Rust · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me sad for the future (and want to restart therapy) but really insightful research/data/frameworks to think about being a worker mother

[Jenny Song · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was excited to read the book because the topic resonates, but I found it not very helpful in the end, full of platitudes like “imagine yourself five years from now, happy, what is she doing?”. There were also a lot of contradictions — paternity leave is bad because men actually use it to get ahead at work while women end up using it to take care of their kids, but paternity leave is also good because it allows men to actually develop parental skills — and squishy justifications of the author’s own choices (the stuff about stepping back from volunteering and civic duties made no sense and really bothered me.) I don’t see how it’s possible to go through life with the authors recommended level of constant optimization either. That can’t be a recipe for happiness.

[Dane Degenstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

Men are the worst but economists are close!

[Julie Eads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a data analyst so this books description & title intrigued me but in the last 4 months I absolutely could not make myself pick this up & read it past chapter 3ish I think so I just DNFd it & took it to our little free library this morning so maybe someone else can get something out of it. There’s a story there & some information it just wasn’t for me.

[lysa · Rating 1 out of 5]

The subtitle of the book is “What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours” and honestly, I wish it could have just been “What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives” - that was most interesting aspect of the book.

I wanted to read this book after reading an article about Corrine Low in NY magazine, where it was noted she was so swayed by data over gender that she pivoted to a homosexual relationship post divorce after historically dating men.

I found the self help portion to be idealistic, asking women to optimize their “utility function” by constantly pulling levers to balance time, money and happiness which sounds exhausting. Why add more to the crushing mental load we already have?

[Tutankhamun18 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book feels like a warm hug!
It reframes modern womanhood through the lens of economics, arguing that the persistent exhaustion many women feel is not a “personal failing” but the result of competing constraints that society refuses to acknowledge. Corinne Low introduces the idea of a personal utility function: essentially, your unique “life satisfaction scorecard”, to help women make decisions that reflect their values rather than inherited expectations.

Big Ideas

The old marriage bargain has collapsed

Women entered the workforce without receiving a matching shift in domestic labor. The 1950s economic model of “marital specialization” (one breadwinner, one full-time caregiver) no longer holds—but the social expectations of women’s caregiving labor remain.

The “squeeze” is structural, not personal weakness

Careers peak at the same time childrearing requires intense labor. Because women are now also investing in their own education and careers—not just men’s—there is no longer a “release valve” for households.

Love isn’t enough — partnership is about utility

Low pushes readers to evaluate relationships on practical, not just emotional, terms: Does a partner meaningfully contribute resources, childcare, time, and relief? “Love is the epsilon” (a small part of a larger formula).

Time is economic capital

Jobs are “technologies that convert time into money”—but unpaid caregiving is also production. Outsourcing is not luxury; it’s often rational specialization. Not doing so means hiring yourself for that job, at your own cost.


Motherhood is not “free”

Breastfeeding, intensive parenting, and maternal time are treated as invisible labor, although they have enormous opportunity costs. Reproductive capital depreciates just as female professional value is rising—a structural bind.

To get unstuck, you sometimes need a “global” change

Instead of trying to incrementally optimize a broken system (local maximization), women sometimes need a big shift in job, partner, childcare model, city, or expectations, in order to get on a better utility curve.

This book applies economics to lived female experience. Low demystifies academic economics without dumbing it down. By naming constraints—time scarcity, reproductive timelines, household specialization—she allows women to see their choices not as “failures at balance” but as rational responses to structural tradeoffs. Her book balances data and economic theory with the practical day to day luves of women where they must choose a partner, perform or pay for caregiving and value it as real capital and make reproductive choices in light of a career.

Her critique of the myth of “having it all” is mathematically grounded. The brilliance of the book is its insistence that constraints exist but within them, women can still maximize their utility—if they stop playing by male-default economic assumptions.

[Rene Strong · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a breath of fresh air compared to all the "you just need to work HARDER" books out there. It doesn't ignore the very real realities women face in the workforce. I think we live in a world today where there is the prevailing belief that "Oh, women just work in lower paying fields" or "Women WANT to stay home with their children! No women WANTS to work AND have kids!" In my experience, that's just not true at all and it ignores the very real, very *subtle* barriers women face. The most insidious, in my opinion - and addressed often in this book - is that women face an invisible penalty when they take maternity leave. If I'm a boss, why would I promote someone who was "gone" for two to six months, over their male co-worker whose been "working hard" that whole time? For that matter, why would I *hire* someone who might be gone for that long, and I'm on the hook for paying them or making sure others can "pick up the slack"?

Corinne Low does a fantastic job highlighting all these invisible barriers to women in the workforce. But rather than lingering on them, she offers what I feel are realistic and thoughtful solutions - not your standard "just work harder," but things that feel doable and but also acknowledge something I feel people NEVER do: Having children is a JOY. If you want kids, then having them is probably life's greatest pleasure and you should not forget that. Too often, "lean in" means ignoring or finding ways *around* your children, rather than acknowledging that yes, you CAN want to work hard in an office but ALSO you need flexible time to pick up your kids from school.

Work culture in the US is NOT built for women who have or want children. Low poignantly points out all the ways this is the reality, while guiding women on things they can do about it. I think all women, even women who don't want kids, should read this book. My only sort of criticism is that I would have liked to hear more about her own story, since it was so interesting, and sometimes I feel like she gives men a hard time but... let's face it, she's using scientific data, so perhaps men are really doing it to themselves. On that note, men should also read this book. I'm not sure they realize how little they (in general) are doing for the household.

Anyway. Highly recommend for everyone. 5/5 stars

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having it All(most) – I’d love to see this book blow up the way Let Them did. It’s smart, necessary, and packed with insights every woman (and leader) should read. This is such important work! Mel, Get this woman on the pod!!! <3

Having It All by Dr. Low is one of those books that makes you stop, think, and say, “Wow, this actually makes sense.” It’s smart, thoughtful, and full of data, but it never feels dry. I loved how Dr. Low weaves research with real stories, showing what it truly means for women to “have it all” in a world that still isn’t quite built for us to do so.

Not every chapter hit home for me personally I skimmed most of the child chapter since I am a childless dog lady, but that’s kind of the beauty of it, there’s something valuable in every section, no matter your stage of life. Some chapters validated experiences I’ve had but couldn’t quite put into words, and others gave me new ways to look at things that have always felt unfair or impossible to balance.

I especially appreciated that Dr. Low doesn’t shy away from acknowledging that not all advice fits every lifestyle or income bracket, she’s realistic about that, but she still offers plenty of perspective shifts that anyone can apply. The idea of defining your own “utility function” and seeing your life as a book with many chapters really stuck with me.

As a woman in a leadership role, this book really opened my eyes to a few blind spots I didn’t even realize existed in my own organization. It challenged me to think differently about how we support women, not just through policies, but through culture, expectations, and everyday decision-making. Even as someone who’s lived these experiences, I found myself rethinking what true equity and balance look like at work. There are definitely a few takeaways I’ll be bringing back to my team to start doing better.

This book isn’t just for women trying to juggle career and family, it’s for everyone who wants to understand the systems we’re all operating in, and how making life fairer for women actually makes things better for everyone. It’s empowering, validating, and surprisingly practical. A must-read for modern feminism, and one I’ll definitely come back to again.

[Elizabeth Severance · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard about this book on the culture study newsletter, and I was intrigued. The author is an economist and writes about decisions and relationships through an economic lens, which at times seemed extreme to me. It felt like she was making it overly simplified in black and white. I do think it would be good reading for women in their 20s, before making so many life choices. The book was also a good reminder that it’s never too late to make a change, even if the author did share the privilege that allowed her to make them. She shares a lot of her lived experience with a husband who didn’t do his fair share. While there are times I feel frustrated with the mental load, my husband does do a lot of default tasks (like cleaning the bathrooms), so it was hard for me to understand her dynamic. (I also can’t believe she lived in NYC and commuted to UPenn! Her life improved dramatically when she stopped this).

Despite hesitations in the author’s methods, I found myself pausing the audiobook to make sure I captured exactly what she said. There were many things that stuck with me. She talks about having it “almost all”. My husband and I often use similar language- “you can have anything you want, you just can’t have everything you want”:

1. Do not compare yourself to someone with a different utility function- a friend who has a utility function of house decorating but you have a utility function of volunteering.
2. Do not compare yourself to those with different constraints
3. Do not neglect or forget about the “invisible labor behind joy”- the time investment needed for all those moments of joy with your family.
4. “Making mistakes means getting paid in experience”
5. “Would I hire myself?” If you are not outsourcing jobs then you are default hiring yourself. Are you the best person for the job? I really appreciated this part and thought of all the things I hire myself for that I should outsource or delegate (at work too!)

[Madame Histoire · Rating 5 out of 5]

A most recommended read! I really enjoyed the economics (yet accessible) and data based analysis. It is not an aggressive "we hate men, death to the patriarchy" feminist type of book, but rather a look at the real state of the (still patriarchal) world and what can we do about it. The book is mostly aimed at someone in an heterosexual couple, usually doubled-income (at least at the beginning) with the aim to have a family. I fit in this description and found myself a lot in what she is talking about. Whist I don't fit in the frame of the "winning the bread and baking it too" frame, especially of being the highest earner and main contributor to the household work (the most unfair combination for women), I am part of these women who had 'jobs' to allow their partner to have a 'career'. She puts clearly back in place the economic value of the typical 'women's tasks' that is a job in itself. The importance of time as an economic metric. The price of child-bearing to women. She also talks about the new expectations of motherhood as no only loving careers but full-on educators, especially in educated mothers. And that the hefty price that women pay to have a husband, children, a home, a job (or career) etc, in other words, the cost of 'having it all' is women's happiness.
Another impactful talk was about the mindset of our lives being a book with several chapters, each with their own priority, and that there is no reason to think of a never but rather a later.

There are even more that I don't mention here but I highly recommend this book to women and anyone sharing their lives with one, just to open the discussion about the reality, not of each an everyone of us women, but of the general truth of our current place in society and how can we make it fairer.

[Evelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

coming from my capitalist (i fear) POV): THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD!! every woman should read this.

it does such a good job blending tgt data + advice + her personal narrative + also talking about how all of these issues are systemic and therefore there is a balance btwn calling on systems to support women vs how to individ make better decisions. i hate how many advice books don't acknowledge how systemic most of these issues are, and Low is such an empathetic author who really acknowledges these issues (as well as how these problems don't affect all women the same depending on class, race, etc.)

takeaways:
- life is about maximizing YOUR utility!!! everyone has a diff definition but you should not be doing things (e.g. volunteering for extra labor at work) just to "be nice" - think about your utility
- what acc brings you joy??? think deeply
- job = tech to convert time into money; therefore a tool for producing utility (not an end in and of itself, e.g. why "lean in" for the sake of it w/o leaning in for your utility)
- producing utility is lifelong (is momentary discomfort acc creating long term utility for you? or, is your career path now 20 years down the line going to produce utility for you? what is the "steady state" of your job?)
- raising kids has become so much more work since the 1970s (investing in human capital, etc.), which is why tech improvements (e.g. dishwashers) initially cut down home labor but now home labor has gone back up
- think about partnership as them contributing to your lifelong utility (not just your feelings) and whether you have evidence (not just positive words) they will acc contribute to an equal partnership

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book blends sharp economic analysis with deeply personal storytelling, dissecting how social systems, workplace norms, and even well-intentioned feminism have contributed to women's exhaustion rather than achieving equality. Drawing on data and her personal experiences balancing an academic career, motherhood, and partnership, the author highlights how gender expectations continue to shape the choices women face—and why those choices often come with hidden costs.

She breaks down complex concepts—such as opportunity costs, labor inequities, and gendered incentives—with humor and empathy, connecting statistics to real lives and frustrations. The result is a candid, clear-eyed examination of ambition, fairness, and the ongoing journey toward liberation.

I love how the author illustrates that thinking like an economist can help women redefine what it truly means to “have it all.” This is not about maximizing achievement, but rather about maximizing utility—finding joy, meaning, and fulfillment over a lifetime. The book effectively combines economic insights with personal narratives, revealing how social systems and workplace norms have set women up for exhaustion instead of equality.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...

[Adah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve about this book a lot but have had a hard time explaining it UNTIL NOW.

It’s about the impossibility of women “having it all”; a flourishing family life, successful career, friends, AND being happy doing it (not burn out). The author writes from an economic perspective and at first I was worried it was because she thinks money is the most important thing but that’s not at all it. She just uses metaphors and theory’s that are economic because that it in fact her PhD. It’s a pretty academic read as she cites a lot of studies and evidence to back up her assertions (I listened to the audio book. And liked it a lot) but she also weaves in her personal experience and story quite well.

A solid portion of the book is WHY it’s so hard for women (hint hint it’s not because it has to be that way) to have it all and then the other part is about how you or I could actually have it all (which is everything by that you want). Corrine Low is very practical and very realist and she does a great job explaining how women can and should pull the levers that we do have control over while acknowledging that there are some we do not.

I definitely want to reread when I’m in other stages of life — she talks a lot about kids which I liked and thought was helpful even now but I won’t remember all of it. There’s lots of tidbits of advice that aren’t huge changes but that I think are great, about kids and other things.

[Anne Bogel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed in the November 2025 edition of Quick Lit on Modern Mrs Darcy:

If I was to award superlatives for this edition of Quick Lit, this book wins "most likely to come up in conversation with friends." Low is a Wharton economist who writes here about the data of women's lives and how women can maximize their lives' overall "utility"—that is, how they might make decisions that lead to satisfaction and contentment because they're in line with their values and priorities. (What counts as "utility" is highly individual, as are the constraints we experience along the way.) I appreciated this book not for any answers it might seek to provide but for the questions it raises, and the language Low put to phenomenons I've experienced in my own life, like "the squeeze." I also loved her metaphor of thinking of your life as "a book with many chapters" (because of course I did). I happened to watch Celine Song's Materialists (seriously underbaked but also highly discussable) and this was such a serendipitous pairing—the book and movie have a lot to say to each other about value, utility, and partnership.

[Chauna Craig · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I had a daughter, I'd give her this book when she graduated high school. And then again when she graduated college, made decisions about marriage and motherhood, etc. I did talk about it a lot with my economics major son, my male partner, my female secretary at work, etc. This is an intelligent, evidence-based book about women optimizing their choices within the constraints of a capitalist system that is still very sexist, racist, etc. This is the anti-Lean In book that women need to understand how to find their own utility/happiness and how to negotiate their best deals in work, personal life, etc, without trying to "be like a man." And something in how she used the language of economics (in which I'm not schooled well) made the ideas "click" for me in a way that hearing about "prioritizing what you value" etc. hasn't done. Maybe it's how she doesn't ignore the need for systemic change but also demonstrates how much personal optimization can happen when you give up your achiever/worker bee mentale.

[Tremmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm undoubtedly going to come back and reread at different stages of my life as it covers a breadth of social concerns for someone navigating the world from the female point of view. Every chapter has something that is applicable to somebody at some stage of their life. Whether you have kids, don't have them, want them, or don't want them, something about Dr Low's writing will resonate with you. I really enjoyed her application of economics principles to the daily struggles of life and the way she pointed to real life studies for evidence of the constraints placed upon half the human population - the same half of the population that is expected to produce twice the output. I thoroughly appreciate Dr Low's effort with this book and I immediately recommended it to all my friends. The book is intersectional and inclusive both in its language and its application. I'll definitely be back to reread it as I navigate my life.

[Kara Ayers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an impactful book that shared important data and perspectives to consider. It explains WHY so many women feel overwhelmed and suggests what we can do about it. In the era of raising teens who are dating and considering their future partners, it provided good reminders about teaching what we should look for in a potential long-term partner (not that my teens are there yet necessarily but Dr. Low explains well that compatability alone isn't enough to build an equitable marriage or relationship). If I have to offer any critique of the book-which I find a review an invitation for that-I was less invested in Dr. Low's personal trajectory and timeline, although it introduces some interesting perspectives as she switched from a heterosexual marriage to a lesbian relationship, and more interested in her data points and applying her utility framework. I think I could have absorbed this book better in physical form or even better in multiple articles (like a Substack).

[Joy]

I think this is an excellent and extremely important book—and it was also not for me. The author is an economist and is explaining the pressures of career+marriage+kids on women and (I think in the end) telling you how to make choices that maximize your utility (economic term) in life. So little of this applied to me (because I’m not married, never divorced someone who was the sole breadwinner, and don’t have kids).
And I didn’t feel like reading this just for the economic info, because I suspect that by being a middle aged+ woman and by having studied economics before, I half-know a lot of the points in this book already. I think this would be most useful to women in their 20s and 30s who have not studied economics before. And I think it’s wonderful that this book exists.