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Love the Teen You Have: A Practical Guide to Transforming Conflict into Connection
When it comes to parenting teens, the relationship you share is the foundation for all good things.
Do you feel like your teen is pulling away, rolling their eyes at every request, or shutting you out? It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost the child you once knew. Parenting teens can stir up frustration, self-doubt, and even memories of your own teenage struggles. But here’s the Raising a teen doesn’t have to feel like a daily battle. Teens stumble because they’re still developing the skills they need to become healthy, happy adults.
Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and parent coach, has spent over twenty years helping families strengthen relationships and guide teens through this transformative stage. She knows it all comes down to relationship and connection—it’s never too late to reconnect. Teens need a safe foundation to develop lifelong skills like flexibility, impulse control, and emotional regulation. And you’re the best person to help them.
In Love the Teen You Have, you’ll learn how to discipline with love, build executive functioning skills for adulthood, and tackle challenges like ADHD, anxiety, and depression with clarity. You’ll also discover how to reparent yourself, healing wounds you don’t want to pass on. Dr. Lockhart combines relatable humor, stories, and actionable strategies to help you spark deeper connections and rewrite your parenting story. It’s never too late to love the teen you have and enjoy these years together.
Do you feel like your teen is pulling away, rolling their eyes at every request, or shutting you out? It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost the child you once knew. Parenting teens can stir up frustration, self-doubt, and even memories of your own teenage struggles. But here’s the Raising a teen doesn’t have to feel like a daily battle. Teens stumble because they’re still developing the skills they need to become healthy, happy adults.
Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and parent coach, has spent over twenty years helping families strengthen relationships and guide teens through this transformative stage. She knows it all comes down to relationship and connection—it’s never too late to reconnect. Teens need a safe foundation to develop lifelong skills like flexibility, impulse control, and emotional regulation. And you’re the best person to help them.
In Love the Teen You Have, you’ll learn how to discipline with love, build executive functioning skills for adulthood, and tackle challenges like ADHD, anxiety, and depression with clarity. You’ll also discover how to reparent yourself, healing wounds you don’t want to pass on. Dr. Lockhart combines relatable humor, stories, and actionable strategies to help you spark deeper connections and rewrite your parenting story. It’s never too late to love the teen you have and enjoy these years together.
336 pages, Hardcover
Published October 28, 2025
19 people are currently reading
1993 people want to read
About the author
Ann-Louise Lockhart
1 book10 followersDr. Ann-Louise Lockhart is a Caribbean-born and raised pediatric psychologist, parent coach, and founder of A New Day Pediatric Psychology. Her insights have been featured by the Today Show, PBS Kids for Parents, ABC News, Meta, HuffPost, Parents, and The New York Times. Known for her relatable, real-talk approach, Dr. Lockhart blends clinical expertise with lived experience as a mom of two. With 20 years of experience, she helps overwhelmed parents build stronger, healthier relationships with their tweens and teens―especially those navigating ADHD, executive functioning challenges, anxiety, and big emotions.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 7, 2025
What a great and informative book. I am planning on buying this book as a Christmas present for my family members who have teenagers.
I have a a grown son and after my divorce I got remarried and got pregnant at 47 years. Boy has it been a roll coaster raising a teenage daughter. I am so glad I read this book because it is definitely changing our relationship for the better and my parenting skills. Thanks. Dr. Lockhart. Highly recommend.
I have a a grown son and after my divorce I got remarried and got pregnant at 47 years. Boy has it been a roll coaster raising a teenage daughter. I am so glad I read this book because it is definitely changing our relationship for the better and my parenting skills. Thanks. Dr. Lockhart. Highly recommend.
November 10, 2025
Parenting teens is TOUGH, and sometimes you need an extra ally in your back pocket to navigate the tension. Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart is exactly that bonus resource, coming to the rescue with "Love the Teen You Have." I highly recommend this parenting book, full of practical, compassionate, and immediately usable information.
Lockhart writes from the dual perspective of both a pediatric psychologist and a parent, which gives the book equal parts credibility and warmth. Far from promising a miracle fix, she instead lays out why friction shows up in perfectly normal families, and what we can do to reconnect when things have gone sideways. The content covers different parenting styles and how they land with teens, communication pitfalls like mixed messages and nagging, the complexities of blended families and nonbiological parents, concrete ways to build connction and self-confidence, and so much more.
I listened on audio first and the production was well done, but I've since ordered it in hardback, too. I want this one on my shelf for quick re-reads when we've had a rough week or need to prepare for a tough conversation! Lockhart’s advice is accessible, easy to read, and often entertaining without ever talking down to or shaming parents. Her expertise shows, yet she keeps things grounded and realistic.
My only hiccup with the book was that I felt a few suggestions were a bit too surface-level. For instance, she recommends that parents “encourage humanitarian efforts,” but I found myself wanting tips on how to accomplish this goal when teens resist — something like troubleshooting scripts, starter steps, or ways to create teen buy-in. Still, it’s understandable that a single book can’t go in depth on all topics nor anticipate every personalized scenario, and the overall toolkit Lockhard shares is strong.
This is an excellent primer for parents approaching the teen years — ideally read in the tween stage to get ahead of the curve — but there’s plenty of value if you’re already in the teenage trenches. Read this if you like clear, research-informed guidance blended with practical real-world experience, or if you want a supportive resource on hand that you can flip through whenever challenges crop up.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio, NetGalley, and Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart for an advance listening copy for honest review.
Lockhart writes from the dual perspective of both a pediatric psychologist and a parent, which gives the book equal parts credibility and warmth. Far from promising a miracle fix, she instead lays out why friction shows up in perfectly normal families, and what we can do to reconnect when things have gone sideways. The content covers different parenting styles and how they land with teens, communication pitfalls like mixed messages and nagging, the complexities of blended families and nonbiological parents, concrete ways to build connction and self-confidence, and so much more.
I listened on audio first and the production was well done, but I've since ordered it in hardback, too. I want this one on my shelf for quick re-reads when we've had a rough week or need to prepare for a tough conversation! Lockhart’s advice is accessible, easy to read, and often entertaining without ever talking down to or shaming parents. Her expertise shows, yet she keeps things grounded and realistic.
My only hiccup with the book was that I felt a few suggestions were a bit too surface-level. For instance, she recommends that parents “encourage humanitarian efforts,” but I found myself wanting tips on how to accomplish this goal when teens resist — something like troubleshooting scripts, starter steps, or ways to create teen buy-in. Still, it’s understandable that a single book can’t go in depth on all topics nor anticipate every personalized scenario, and the overall toolkit Lockhard shares is strong.
This is an excellent primer for parents approaching the teen years — ideally read in the tween stage to get ahead of the curve — but there’s plenty of value if you’re already in the teenage trenches. Read this if you like clear, research-informed guidance blended with practical real-world experience, or if you want a supportive resource on hand that you can flip through whenever challenges crop up.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio, NetGalley, and Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart for an advance listening copy for honest review.
October 4, 2025
This was a great book that touched on a wide spectrum of subjects, anywhere from eating disorders to self regulating emotions. I found it helpful in giving you tools to reversing patterns that your used to falling into that you don’t recognize are not helpful. There are lots of examples of the authors practice in which she helps families work through a lot of common problems. The book also at the end of the chapters have spots to write thoughts and also work through some exercises she guides you through. You can improve your relationship with your teen with a little bit of work and some small tweaks. Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for this advanced copy.
November 10, 2025
Love the Teen You Have: A Practical Guide to Transforming Conflict Into Connection by Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart (2025)
v+323-page Kindle Ebook story pages 1-306
Genre: Nonfiction, Parenting, Child Development - Adolescents
Featuring: Medical Disclaimer - Not a substitute for therapeutic advice, Names Changed; Exploring the Landscape of Parenting, Understanding Tweens and Teens, Mindful Parent Self-reflection - End of Every Chapter, Changing Starts with You, Experiential Avoidance, Nurturing the Relationship, Reflecting and Reconnecting, Moving Forward, Negativity Bias, Decoding Mixed Messages, Responding and Not Reacting, Nagging to Communicating Openly, Embracing Change and Growth, Living Your Life Through Your Teen, Letting Go of Perfection, Getting Real About Reparenting, Tools for Effective Parenting, Parenting Through a New Lens, Recognizing Their Needs, Your Co-Regulatione, Understanding the Highly Sensitive Teen, Understanding the Brain and ADHD, Understanding Anxiety in Teens, Understanding and Addressing Suicidal Thoughts and Self-Harm in Teens, Building Them Up, Building Resilience and Grit in Teens, Rebuilding and Connecting, Answering Parent Questions Conclusion: Redeeming Relationships After Missteps Acknowledgments, Notes, Index
Rating as a movie: PG-13
Books and Authors mentioned: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene PhD
My rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟💖
My thoughts: 🔖Page 37 of 323 [Chapter] 2 CHANGING STARTS WITH YOU - I was skeptical as her kids are still in the tween and teen stage, but this is pretty good. I'm stopping to do the reflection otherwise I would be reading on through as it's easy to.
🔖207 [Chapter] 11 PARENTING THROUGH - Wow! My mind is blown by how she is breaking this down.
🔖222 [Chapter] 12 A NEW LENS - Okay now I can sleep
This is the best teen parenting book I've read ever. If you've read Assertive Parenting For Teen this builds on that foundation but is far better. I wish this book existed when my oldest was 7, but hindsight is just that.
Recommend to others: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Memorable Quotes: The content in this book is for informational purposes only and does not constitute (or serve as a substitute for) therapeutic advice or health care recommendations of any kind. Readers are advised to consult a health care professional before acting on any of the information contained in this book. The author and publisher do not accept responsibility for any adverse effects individuals may claim to experience relating to the information contained in this book. Names and some potentially identifying details of some people have been changed, and some people and stories are composites.
Imagine riding a roller coaster. When you get in and before starting the wild ride, what does the operator do? They pull down the bar, strap you in, and ask you to push on the bar or pull on the strap. Are they asking you to do this to make sure it breaks and comes loose during the ride? Absolutely not! They do this to make sure you are securely in place and safe throughout the ride. You might assume when your teen pushes back, they’re trying to push you away. The truth is they are pushing because they want to make sure you’re a secure base. They want to make sure they can rely on and trust you. They don’t want you to give up on them. They need to know that no matter how much they mess up, they can still come back. They need to know home is a refuge. Home is a place where they can unload at any time, where they are accepted and loved without judgment or condition. What matters is the interaction they have with you. They need to know when they push, you won’t pull away.
This book is for all types of parents and caregivers of tweens and teens ages nine to nineteen, including biological parents, single parents, stepparents, co-parents, grandparents, adoptive parents, and foster parents.
Now, this is the most important part. As you go through this book, please do not allow yourself to engage in harsh comparisons (“Other parents don’t struggle like I do”), negative self-statements (“I’m such a terrible parent”), or parent shame (“My teen is better off without me”). Every parent will struggle at some point in their parenting journey. As a mom to a tween and a teen myself, I struggle sometimes too. Some days or weeks more than others. As you go through this book and the exercises, allow yourself to remain present on the task. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not helpful to do so, and it’s counterproductive. This won’t lead to any real change.
There are several areas where parent-teen conflicts are present. These include: Curfew and bedtime Friend choices Phone and screen time Dating and relationships Clothing, makeup, and hairstyles Academic performance and school motivation Hobbies and interests Chores and home responsibilities Sibling relationships Personal identity Sexual activity Hygiene and self-care Future goals Jobs and careers Self-destructive behaviors (drugs, smoking, driving under the influence)
Your teen is not the problem. You are not the problem. It is about you and your teen versus the problem. That problem could be miscommunication, school stress, depression, learning challenges, or bullying. When you shift your focus and look at the real issue, you will see huge changes in your parent-teen relationship.
Stop Fighting Fake Battles!
What are fake battles? They are the unnecessary conflicts that arise between parents and their tweens or teens, often over trivial matters that distract from deeper, more important issues. These battles are typically about control rather than collaboration and communication. For example, when a parent and teen argue over things like clothing choices, chores, or harmless personal preferences, these conflicts can create unnecessary tension and lead to power struggles.
Also, when a parent goes into a long rant about how life was so glorious back in their youth, the attention is being redirected to the parent. What was this conversation about to begin with? It was about Finn reacting to a mean message in a group chat! What does Grey’s childhood have to do with the immediacy and urgency of the situation from Finn’s point of view? Absolutely nothing!
Grey: “What?! What did she say?” Finn: “She said my outfit was so bad that even a Sims character with free will wouldn’t choose it.”
Corporal punishment, often referred to as “whooping” in African American families and “chancla culture” in many Latino families, is a practice with deep historical and cultural roots. To understand why these methods of discipline are prevalent in these communities, we need to explore their historical contexts and cultural significance. Corporal Punishment in African American Families The use of corporal punishment in African American families has historical roots dating back to slavery in the United States. During slavery, enslaved African Americans were subjected to brutal physical punishments by slave owners as a means of control and subjugation. After the abolition of slavery, the practice of physical discipline was perpetuated within African American communities for several reasons. Post-slavery, African American parents used corporal punishment as a means to protect their children from harsher punishments and violence from white society. By enforcing strict discipline at home, parents hoped to prevent their children from engaging in behavior that could lead to deadly encounters with law enforcement or racist violence. This kind of punishment was a survival mechanism.
Signs that your teen may be highly sensitive include being easily upset and becoming emotionally overwhelmed quickly, reacting strongly to criticism or perceived slights. They often struggle to settle at bedtime due to active minds that make winding down difficult, and they can feel overwhelmed by busy days, becoming exhausted from long or hectic schedules. These teens are quickly overstimulated by loud noises, bright lights, and chaotic environments, and they may be sensitive to textures, smells, and other sensory experiences, leading to discomfort or distress. Highly sensitive teens are also strongly in tune with their internal body states, meaning they are very aware of sensations like hunger, fatigue, and pain. They absorb other people’s feelings, feeling emotions deeply and being affected by the moods of those around them. Additionally, they may seem older beyond their years, possessing a mature understanding and perspective on life. Time constraints can cause them significant stress, as they often feel pressured and overwhelmed by deadlines. Transitioning between activities or routines can be particularly challenging for them, and they are very deep thinkers, pondering life’s big questions and reflecting deeply on their experiences. Finally, they may startle easily at unexpected noises or surprises and can be disturbed by violent or scary images, finding graphic content in media especially disturbing.
Highly sensitive teens possess a unique set of strengths that make them remarkable individuals. They are amazing conversationalists, engaging deeply and meaningfully in discussions, which can lead to enriching interactions. Their creativity and insight make them fun to be around, as they bring fresh perspectives to various situations. Kindness and empathy come naturally to them, allowing them to understand and share the feelings of others, making them highly empathic friends. They are also conscientious and loyal, being reliable and deeply committed to their friendships. Observant by nature, they notice details that others might miss, which enhances their understanding of the world. Their rich inner lives fuel their creativity, leading them to excel in artistic and imaginative pursuits. Intuitive and intelligent, they often have a strong sense of what is right or needed in a situation, coupled with a curiosity that drives their love of learning and exploration. Finally, they are warm and loving, forming strong, affectionate bonds and valuing close relationships.
Stop taking their behaviors so personally. It’s more about them than it is about you. Change the way you think about parenting. Examine how you think about yourself as a person and as a parent, the way you view your children, and how much guilt, shame, or judgment you place on yourself.
Teens need to see their parents struggling, articulating those struggles, and eventually overcoming them.
Consistent inconsistency loses credibility, and lack of credibility loses their respect. If you lose that, then your words, threats, and promises cannot be trusted. Understand that perfection is not the goal; being present and trying your best is what matters. When you mess up (because you will), own it, apologize, and take action to do things differently. You’re breaking cycles. That’s hard work.
v+323-page Kindle Ebook story pages 1-306
Genre: Nonfiction, Parenting, Child Development - Adolescents
Featuring: Medical Disclaimer - Not a substitute for therapeutic advice, Names Changed; Exploring the Landscape of Parenting, Understanding Tweens and Teens, Mindful Parent Self-reflection - End of Every Chapter, Changing Starts with You, Experiential Avoidance, Nurturing the Relationship, Reflecting and Reconnecting, Moving Forward, Negativity Bias, Decoding Mixed Messages, Responding and Not Reacting, Nagging to Communicating Openly, Embracing Change and Growth, Living Your Life Through Your Teen, Letting Go of Perfection, Getting Real About Reparenting, Tools for Effective Parenting, Parenting Through a New Lens, Recognizing Their Needs, Your Co-Regulatione, Understanding the Highly Sensitive Teen, Understanding the Brain and ADHD, Understanding Anxiety in Teens, Understanding and Addressing Suicidal Thoughts and Self-Harm in Teens, Building Them Up, Building Resilience and Grit in Teens, Rebuilding and Connecting, Answering Parent Questions Conclusion: Redeeming Relationships After Missteps Acknowledgments, Notes, Index
Rating as a movie: PG-13
Books and Authors mentioned: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene PhD
My rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟💖
My thoughts: 🔖Page 37 of 323 [Chapter] 2 CHANGING STARTS WITH YOU - I was skeptical as her kids are still in the tween and teen stage, but this is pretty good. I'm stopping to do the reflection otherwise I would be reading on through as it's easy to.
🔖207 [Chapter] 11 PARENTING THROUGH - Wow! My mind is blown by how she is breaking this down.
🔖222 [Chapter] 12 A NEW LENS - Okay now I can sleep
This is the best teen parenting book I've read ever. If you've read Assertive Parenting For Teen this builds on that foundation but is far better. I wish this book existed when my oldest was 7, but hindsight is just that.
Recommend to others: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Memorable Quotes: The content in this book is for informational purposes only and does not constitute (or serve as a substitute for) therapeutic advice or health care recommendations of any kind. Readers are advised to consult a health care professional before acting on any of the information contained in this book. The author and publisher do not accept responsibility for any adverse effects individuals may claim to experience relating to the information contained in this book. Names and some potentially identifying details of some people have been changed, and some people and stories are composites.
Imagine riding a roller coaster. When you get in and before starting the wild ride, what does the operator do? They pull down the bar, strap you in, and ask you to push on the bar or pull on the strap. Are they asking you to do this to make sure it breaks and comes loose during the ride? Absolutely not! They do this to make sure you are securely in place and safe throughout the ride. You might assume when your teen pushes back, they’re trying to push you away. The truth is they are pushing because they want to make sure you’re a secure base. They want to make sure they can rely on and trust you. They don’t want you to give up on them. They need to know that no matter how much they mess up, they can still come back. They need to know home is a refuge. Home is a place where they can unload at any time, where they are accepted and loved without judgment or condition. What matters is the interaction they have with you. They need to know when they push, you won’t pull away.
This book is for all types of parents and caregivers of tweens and teens ages nine to nineteen, including biological parents, single parents, stepparents, co-parents, grandparents, adoptive parents, and foster parents.
Now, this is the most important part. As you go through this book, please do not allow yourself to engage in harsh comparisons (“Other parents don’t struggle like I do”), negative self-statements (“I’m such a terrible parent”), or parent shame (“My teen is better off without me”). Every parent will struggle at some point in their parenting journey. As a mom to a tween and a teen myself, I struggle sometimes too. Some days or weeks more than others. As you go through this book and the exercises, allow yourself to remain present on the task. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s not helpful to do so, and it’s counterproductive. This won’t lead to any real change.
There are several areas where parent-teen conflicts are present. These include: Curfew and bedtime Friend choices Phone and screen time Dating and relationships Clothing, makeup, and hairstyles Academic performance and school motivation Hobbies and interests Chores and home responsibilities Sibling relationships Personal identity Sexual activity Hygiene and self-care Future goals Jobs and careers Self-destructive behaviors (drugs, smoking, driving under the influence)
Your teen is not the problem. You are not the problem. It is about you and your teen versus the problem. That problem could be miscommunication, school stress, depression, learning challenges, or bullying. When you shift your focus and look at the real issue, you will see huge changes in your parent-teen relationship.
Stop Fighting Fake Battles!
What are fake battles? They are the unnecessary conflicts that arise between parents and their tweens or teens, often over trivial matters that distract from deeper, more important issues. These battles are typically about control rather than collaboration and communication. For example, when a parent and teen argue over things like clothing choices, chores, or harmless personal preferences, these conflicts can create unnecessary tension and lead to power struggles.
Also, when a parent goes into a long rant about how life was so glorious back in their youth, the attention is being redirected to the parent. What was this conversation about to begin with? It was about Finn reacting to a mean message in a group chat! What does Grey’s childhood have to do with the immediacy and urgency of the situation from Finn’s point of view? Absolutely nothing!
Grey: “What?! What did she say?” Finn: “She said my outfit was so bad that even a Sims character with free will wouldn’t choose it.”
Corporal punishment, often referred to as “whooping” in African American families and “chancla culture” in many Latino families, is a practice with deep historical and cultural roots. To understand why these methods of discipline are prevalent in these communities, we need to explore their historical contexts and cultural significance. Corporal Punishment in African American Families The use of corporal punishment in African American families has historical roots dating back to slavery in the United States. During slavery, enslaved African Americans were subjected to brutal physical punishments by slave owners as a means of control and subjugation. After the abolition of slavery, the practice of physical discipline was perpetuated within African American communities for several reasons. Post-slavery, African American parents used corporal punishment as a means to protect their children from harsher punishments and violence from white society. By enforcing strict discipline at home, parents hoped to prevent their children from engaging in behavior that could lead to deadly encounters with law enforcement or racist violence. This kind of punishment was a survival mechanism.
Signs that your teen may be highly sensitive include being easily upset and becoming emotionally overwhelmed quickly, reacting strongly to criticism or perceived slights. They often struggle to settle at bedtime due to active minds that make winding down difficult, and they can feel overwhelmed by busy days, becoming exhausted from long or hectic schedules. These teens are quickly overstimulated by loud noises, bright lights, and chaotic environments, and they may be sensitive to textures, smells, and other sensory experiences, leading to discomfort or distress. Highly sensitive teens are also strongly in tune with their internal body states, meaning they are very aware of sensations like hunger, fatigue, and pain. They absorb other people’s feelings, feeling emotions deeply and being affected by the moods of those around them. Additionally, they may seem older beyond their years, possessing a mature understanding and perspective on life. Time constraints can cause them significant stress, as they often feel pressured and overwhelmed by deadlines. Transitioning between activities or routines can be particularly challenging for them, and they are very deep thinkers, pondering life’s big questions and reflecting deeply on their experiences. Finally, they may startle easily at unexpected noises or surprises and can be disturbed by violent or scary images, finding graphic content in media especially disturbing.
Highly sensitive teens possess a unique set of strengths that make them remarkable individuals. They are amazing conversationalists, engaging deeply and meaningfully in discussions, which can lead to enriching interactions. Their creativity and insight make them fun to be around, as they bring fresh perspectives to various situations. Kindness and empathy come naturally to them, allowing them to understand and share the feelings of others, making them highly empathic friends. They are also conscientious and loyal, being reliable and deeply committed to their friendships. Observant by nature, they notice details that others might miss, which enhances their understanding of the world. Their rich inner lives fuel their creativity, leading them to excel in artistic and imaginative pursuits. Intuitive and intelligent, they often have a strong sense of what is right or needed in a situation, coupled with a curiosity that drives their love of learning and exploration. Finally, they are warm and loving, forming strong, affectionate bonds and valuing close relationships.
Stop taking their behaviors so personally. It’s more about them than it is about you. Change the way you think about parenting. Examine how you think about yourself as a person and as a parent, the way you view your children, and how much guilt, shame, or judgment you place on yourself.
Teens need to see their parents struggling, articulating those struggles, and eventually overcoming them.
Consistent inconsistency loses credibility, and lack of credibility loses their respect. If you lose that, then your words, threats, and promises cannot be trusted. Understand that perfection is not the goal; being present and trying your best is what matters. When you mess up (because you will), own it, apologize, and take action to do things differently. You’re breaking cycles. That’s hard work.
October 21, 2025
"Love the child you have" has long been my favorite quote to write in the baby books of expectant parents, and is advice I have given myself over and over as a parent. The twist to love the "teen" you have is cute and fun, and oh so true! I couldn't resist a book with this title, and also picked it up because it is written by a clinical psychologist and uses research-based principles.
This is an excellent, densely packed instruction book for good teen and tween parenting. Dr. Lockhart takes a kind and sensitive, empirically-validated approach to helping parents negotiate the teen years with grace. She covers everything from everyday interactions and relationship-building, to handling major mental health challenges. She makes use of acronyms to help parents remember her strategies, and makes wonderful use of concrete examples. I particularly appreciated her notes regarding cultural issues in parenting, as I believe these are often overlooked. Finally, her own narration of the audio book version was outstanding. Her tone in the audio matches the gentle, open, and relaxed approach she uses to guiding parents in the text of her book. This is solid material from a credible source and it is a resource I look forward to sharing with parents of students in my work.
I am a school psychologist, and have been employed in both clinical and school psychology for over 30 years, primarily working with adolescents, and have also had the privilege of raising two, now adult, adolescents of my own.
I received an advanced reader copy of this audio book from NetGalley and my review represents my honest and unbiased thoughts.
This is an excellent, densely packed instruction book for good teen and tween parenting. Dr. Lockhart takes a kind and sensitive, empirically-validated approach to helping parents negotiate the teen years with grace. She covers everything from everyday interactions and relationship-building, to handling major mental health challenges. She makes use of acronyms to help parents remember her strategies, and makes wonderful use of concrete examples. I particularly appreciated her notes regarding cultural issues in parenting, as I believe these are often overlooked. Finally, her own narration of the audio book version was outstanding. Her tone in the audio matches the gentle, open, and relaxed approach she uses to guiding parents in the text of her book. This is solid material from a credible source and it is a resource I look forward to sharing with parents of students in my work.
I am a school psychologist, and have been employed in both clinical and school psychology for over 30 years, primarily working with adolescents, and have also had the privilege of raising two, now adult, adolescents of my own.
I received an advanced reader copy of this audio book from NetGalley and my review represents my honest and unbiased thoughts.
November 2, 2025
I was lucky to be gifted an ALC of this wonderful book from NetGalley and McMillan audio. I WILL be purchasing a hard copy so I can read this multiple times.
I really enjoyed this book and its narration by Dr. Lockhart herself. The book is structured clearly, with reflections and applicable activities for the parent(s) at the end of each chapter.
Dr. Lockhart dives into complex (and difficult) issues with ease, in a way that allows the reader to reflect and respond as opposed to reacting. She addresses multiple layers of traumas and what impacted us as children, and subsequently our own children—epigenetics, cultural and racial impacts, domestic violence, environmental factors, PTSD, reparenting, etc.
She breaks down parenting styles, and gives guidance on how to shift your responses in order to stay connected to your teen or tween. Dr. Lockhart uses examples from her own life, as well as those from her practice (consent given, names changed for privacy) that help highlight changed behaviors in both children and parents alike.
Her full-body, holistic, body + mind approach is one that everyone can adopt with a few small changes. Her narration is moderately paced and her inflection pleasant. I was able to listen at an increased pace during sections of the book, which always signals to me that the pacing is accessible to listeners from all backgrounds and languages.
Highly recommend!
I really enjoyed this book and its narration by Dr. Lockhart herself. The book is structured clearly, with reflections and applicable activities for the parent(s) at the end of each chapter.
Dr. Lockhart dives into complex (and difficult) issues with ease, in a way that allows the reader to reflect and respond as opposed to reacting. She addresses multiple layers of traumas and what impacted us as children, and subsequently our own children—epigenetics, cultural and racial impacts, domestic violence, environmental factors, PTSD, reparenting, etc.
She breaks down parenting styles, and gives guidance on how to shift your responses in order to stay connected to your teen or tween. Dr. Lockhart uses examples from her own life, as well as those from her practice (consent given, names changed for privacy) that help highlight changed behaviors in both children and parents alike.
Her full-body, holistic, body + mind approach is one that everyone can adopt with a few small changes. Her narration is moderately paced and her inflection pleasant. I was able to listen at an increased pace during sections of the book, which always signals to me that the pacing is accessible to listeners from all backgrounds and languages.
Highly recommend!
October 20, 2025
I requested to get an ALC of this book from NetGalley because I have a 15 year old and 11 year old twins. My oldest has Autism and ADHD and my twins are both Autistic (1 nonverbal). I wanted to see what tips and tricks she had to work on my relationship with my teen and tweens. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much. So many books about children talk at you and not to you. I was so wrong. Dr. Lockhart had me from the start. I actually cried. So much of myself and the relationship with my children was discussed in this book. So much so I plan to buy a physical copy.
There were practical tips, encouraging words and I like the mix of personal and professional experience. I loved that every chapter had something for you to reflect on. If you are a parent, guardian, or someone who is around children 10-19, I highly recommend this book. As much as I love the audio, I think getting a physical copy would be more practical because you can do the activities over and over without rewinding or fast forwarding.
Thank you NetGalley, Macmillan Audio and Dr. Lockheart.
There were practical tips, encouraging words and I like the mix of personal and professional experience. I loved that every chapter had something for you to reflect on. If you are a parent, guardian, or someone who is around children 10-19, I highly recommend this book. As much as I love the audio, I think getting a physical copy would be more practical because you can do the activities over and over without rewinding or fast forwarding.
Thank you NetGalley, Macmillan Audio and Dr. Lockheart.
October 26, 2025
This book is a fantastic resource for anyone navigating the ups and downs of parenting teenagers. It’s refreshingly unbiased and packed with practical tips and real-world strategies for building stronger connections with your teens. I really appreciated how the author approaches even the most sensitive topics with empathy and care-never judgment. It also briefly advises on ways to handle your own childhood trauma as an adult/parent. Whether you’re looking for communication techniques, ways to support your teen’s independence, or simply reassurance that you’re not alone, this book delivers. It’s one I’ll be keeping on my shelf to revisit as my kids grow!
A huge thanks to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for allowing me to listen to this book in exchange for my honest review.
A huge thanks to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley for allowing me to listen to this book in exchange for my honest review.
November 4, 2025
Love the Teen You Have is basically the therapist I can’t afford but desperately need—except this one doesn’t charge by the hour or silently judge my parenting choices. Reading it felt like having my very own personal counselor perched on my shoulder, calmly whispering, “Don’t scream. Breathe. Remember, you love them,” while my teen rolls their eyes so hard I fear permanent damage.
This book is like a parenting GPS—kind, reassuring, and constantly rerouting me away from “Because I said so” toward “Let’s talk about your feelings.” Dr. Lockhart somehow manages to make phrases like executive functioning skills and emotional regulation sound doable instead of like things I’ll never have time for between arguments about chores and Wi-Fi passwords.
It’s full of practical advice, gentle humor, and just enough real-world examples to make you feel seen (and mildly called out). I especially appreciated the “reparent yourself” part, because nothing like raising a teen to realize you’re still haunted by your own teenage trauma involving a bad haircut and misunderstood eyeliner.
I’m still waiting for the chapter titled “How to Make Your Teen Clean His Room Without Asking.” Until then, this book is as close to magic as it gets. If you’ve ever stared at your sullen teen and thought, Who replaced my sweet child with this moody alien?, this one’s for you.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Flatiron Books for this review copy!
This book is like a parenting GPS—kind, reassuring, and constantly rerouting me away from “Because I said so” toward “Let’s talk about your feelings.” Dr. Lockhart somehow manages to make phrases like executive functioning skills and emotional regulation sound doable instead of like things I’ll never have time for between arguments about chores and Wi-Fi passwords.
It’s full of practical advice, gentle humor, and just enough real-world examples to make you feel seen (and mildly called out). I especially appreciated the “reparent yourself” part, because nothing like raising a teen to realize you’re still haunted by your own teenage trauma involving a bad haircut and misunderstood eyeliner.
I’m still waiting for the chapter titled “How to Make Your Teen Clean His Room Without Asking.” Until then, this book is as close to magic as it gets. If you’ve ever stared at your sullen teen and thought, Who replaced my sweet child with this moody alien?, this one’s for you.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Flatiron Books for this review copy!
December 24, 2025
Love the Teen You Have is a parenting guide for those tricky years starting with tweens. She uses examples from actual families along with the science behind teenage brains. I appreciated the focus on strengthening the relationship and connecting over discipline and control. I recommend this one to everyone in the trenches!
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Disclosure: An advanced listening copy of Love the Teen You Have
was provided by Libro.FM for review purposes. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Disclosure: An advanced listening copy of Love the Teen You Have
was provided by Libro.FM for review purposes. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
November 6, 2025
This is a great resource for anyone who has a teen. Dr. Lockhart knows the struggles, give great parenting advice, and extras! I will be purchasing this book to reference back to.
Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listening copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced listening copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
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