Sports, activities, long hours, and commutes--with so much to do, dinner has been bumped to the back burner.
But research shows that family dinners offer more than just nutrition. Studies have tied shared meals to increased resiliency and self-esteem in children, higher academic achievement, a healthier relationship to food, and even reduced risk of substance abuse and eating disorders.
Written by a Harvard Medical School professor and mother, Home for Dinner makes a passionate and informed plea to put mealtime back at the center of family life and supplies compelling evidence and realistic tips for getting even the busiest of families back to the table. Chock full of stories, new research, recipes, and friendly advice, the book explains how to:
* Whip up quick, healthy, and tasty dinners
* Get kids to lend a hand (without any grief)
* Adapt meals to the needs of everyone--from toddlers to teens
* Inspire picky eaters to explore new foods
* Keep dinnertime conversation stimulating
* Add an element of fun
* Reduce tension at the table
* Explore other cultures and spark curiosity about the world
* And more
Mealtime is a place to unwind and reconnect, far from the pressures of school and work. As the author notes, family therapy can be helpful, but regular dinner is transformative.
ANNE K. FISHEL, PH.D., is the director of the Family and Couples Therapy Program at Massachusetts General Hospital and an associate clinical professor of psychology at the Harvard Medical School. As cofounder of The Family Dinner Project, she has been interviewed by ABC News, NPR, The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Christian Science Monitor, and other major media. She writes the Digital Family blog for Psychology Today.
BOOK REVIEW: 'Home for Dinner': An Impossible Dream: Having Family Members Get Together for Meals?
REVIEWED BY DAVID M. KINCHEN Reading Anne K. Fishel's "Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun, and Conversation for a Happier Family and Healthier Kids" (Amacom, American Management Association, 240 pages, foreword by Michael Thompson, Ph.D; notes, index, $16.00) I was intrigued by a book that seemingly wants to turn back the clock to a 1950s sitcom era, when Robert Montgomery and Donna Reed ruled the TV world.
Fishel is a Ph.D. psychologist, professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School and co-founder of the Family Dinner Project, among many other acomplishments. She's the mother of two young adult sons, so she's aware of the challenges facing anyone who wants to round up family members for dinner together.
The book is replete with stories of people who want to do something about the fragmented world of smart phones, social media (I often think of it as "anti-social" media!), ballet lessons and soccer matches, long hours at work and long commutes and have family dinners. It's the kind of challenge Amy Chua's "Tiger Mother" would be hard pressed to achieve.
The stories in Fishel's book should appeal to readers who have their own memories -- good or bad -- about family dinners. I personally have few such memories, because in our house when I was growing up in the late 1940s and early 1950s, I don't recall any family dinners! With my mother, divorced and working hard to keep the family together in a series of low-paying factory jobs, if you wanted to eat, she pointed to the kitchen.
Fishel provides many recipes and advice about making food interesting -- in an era when food is often viewed as generic fuel to keep overbooked people going. With so much to do, she writes, dinner has been bumped to the back burner. Fishel says that research shows that family dinners offer more than just nutrition. Studies have tied shared meals to increased resiliency and self-esteem in children, higher academic achievement, a healthier relationship to food, and even reduced risk of substance abuse and eating disorders.
"Home for Dinner" makes a passionate and informed plea to put mealtime back at the center of family life and supplies compelling evidence and realistic tips for getting even the busiest of families back to the table.
The book explains how to:
* Create quick, healthy, and tasty dinners;
* get kids to lend a hand (without any grief);
* adapt meals to the needs of everyone - from toddlers to teens;
* inspire picky eaters to explore new foods;
* keep dinnertime conversation stimulating;
* add an element of fun; reduce tension at the table;
* explore other cultures and spark curiosity about the world.
Mealtime should be a place to unwind and reconnect, far from the pressures of school and work, Fishel writes. As the author notes, family therapy can be helpful, but regular dinner is transformative.
For one thing, you'll have to curb technology at the table, she says on Page 109, writing that "a 2011 survey found that there are two sets of standards at the dinner table. Parents use technology at the table at twice the rate their children are allowed". What's good for the goose, she says, isn't so good for the gosling! She suggests the best solution might be a total ban of technology, i.e. phones, at the table…Similar to the pleas in movie theaters about phones.
"Home for Dinner" is a provocative book, a book of family dinner advocacy that should be read by everyone concerned about the state of the family in a world where people are trying to do too much.
Psychologist Dr. Anne Fishel has some sound advice for families about how to create or enhance the dinner time experience. She begins the book Home for Dinner with her own family dinner table and cooking experiences. She realized the value of those dinner experiences and founded The Family Dinner Project as a way to promote the health and psychological benefits of the family dinner.
This is a book filled with sound family-nurturing advice. She includes a few basic recipes that families can make together, some conversation starters, and a lot of great advice for creating the sense of unity that we all want for our own families. Fishel acknowledges that this is not easy to pull off for many families, hampered as they are by sports, work schedules, and finances, but she asserts that the benefits far outweigh the difficulties. The dinner table is not the place to discuss undone homework, poor grades or poor behavior. It is not the place for the devices that populate our lives and isolate us from each other. It is a place to talk together, to tell stories, and to relate to each other as equals. She has chapters on simple games that can encourage conversation as well as ideas for story telling experiences that promote empathy, self-esteem, resilience, and enjoyment. Of course, she touts the benefits of the family dinner table as a way to promote healthier eating habits.
Fishel was preaching to the choir to me because I have created and been a part of a lifetime of family dinners. And I have many stories to tell, including fond memories of dinners around the table at my grandparents, family dinners in my home as a child, and my own family dinners when I was a single parent. My husband insists on family meals; we actually call him "the breakfast Nazi" because he is so adamant about the value of a family breakfast. Now that that everyday breakfast includes just the two of us, we close breakfast every morning by reading to each other. We always have a book going. I know many families that also have that tradition of spending a few minutes reading together after dinner.
A couple of stories to close this entry. Over the years, I have had many family dinners with my son and his family. They eat together as a family several evenings a week. Their family dinner game is called "Best, Worst, Funniest." They go around the table and tell the best thing that happened that day, the worst thing that happened that day, and they end with the funniest thing that happened that day. I love that idea.
The value of the family dinner resonates with my daughter and family whose tiny house has no room for a dinner table. Both she and her husband grew up with family dinners and she is actively searching for a house with a dining room so they can eat their meals at a real table, rather than the coffee table. One recent evening, they came over to eat at our house. I was going to set the kitchen table, but my 3-year-old granddaughter insisted on setting the dining room table. That, in her mind, is where family dinners happen. Check out The Family Dinner Project for ideas on how to make your family dinners more successful.
Do you find that your family is too often on the go at dinnertime, eating packed meals or fast food in the car, on the way from one outside commitment to another, faces individually aglow in the light of cellphones and computers, or isolated by earphones in a bid to take in some relaxing music before the next activity, all in the name of "striving for success"?
With her excellent book "Home for Dinner," author Anne K. Fishel has just rung America's dinnerbell, and called us all in from our cars and our electronics, our taekwondo classes and soccer practices, from our bento boxes and Big Macs, to gather in fellowship around the family table with food we've made and will eat at home at a relaxing pace, with plenty of time for strengthening our family ties and engaging our brains in the age old stimulating but ultimately relaxing and success-producing practice of sharing a meal.
Dr. Fishel is an associate clinical professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, and her writing style bears witness to this: full of chewy science and case studies, her book is not some breezy, no-substance self-help book. This book has backbone! And before long, you will feel your own spine stiffen with the resolve to sit down with the whole family for dinner, because not only are her arguments convincing, she layers them with recipes you can try at home, and rolls it all up with great solutions to the question, "OK, so we're all sitting here eating -- NOW what?!"
As Dr. Fishel wisely writes: "Food is usually the gateway to better eating rituals." It follows that taking the time to make meals at home will automatically open up opportunities for families to start their own mealtime traditons.
While the book is very family-oriented, it is meant as a serious reference tool. It will most likely appeal to the educated mom or dad who feels like something may be missing in the life of her or his family, but more advanced readers and thinkers among the children who want ideas for dinnertable fun might be interested in looking into it as well.
In any case, I would recommend reading through it once to familiarize yourself with the contents, and then keeping it handy to use as a reference as you get your family dinner program up and running. Glancing through from time-to-time, I'm sure, will give you something new to focus on, be it a recipe, an activity, or a background story.
I received my copy of this book through Goodreads First Reads in exchange for my fair and honest review.
While out to dinner recently, a group of friends and I fell into a conversation about our most memorable meal. We ended up talking more about the social experience of the meals than the food. I was touched by how, through our sharing stories connected to these memorable meals, I got to know these friends more deeply.
Soon afterwards, I read Dr. Fishel's book, and immediately gifted several copies to my friends. While most of this group has kids, not all of us do. I especially liked how Dr. Fishel defined "family dinners": "I think of family [dinners] as any group that feels like home: a neighborhood that gathers around a backyard clay oven to make pizzas, a gathering of friends at college, young adults living with friends who are part of their chosen family, or a community dinner at a school, church hall, or diner."
Dr. Fishel makes the case for the far-reaching benefits of regular family dinners. The book, however, is as much about getting in a good frame of mind for anyone who wants to try regular family dinners. It takes a warm, low pressure, highly encouraging, even nurturing approach. As opposed to a home-entertaining-made-easy book, this one puts the people at the table ahead of the food. There are great suggestions for how to open and deepen table conversation, and promote story-telling, including with small kids and even adolescents.
Dr. Fishel sets a cozy scene of relaxing and connecting with family around the dinner table, and makes this an attainable goal for busy people, not a luxury reserved for those with lots of leisure time. The book is chock full of tips for how to create communal dinners in your own home. Food, is, of course, more than accounted for, and easy, fun recipes are sprinkled throughout the book.
If you're considering buying this book, you're probably already primed to benefit from it, since attitude is so important to Dr. Fishel's "Family Dinner Project." It only takes one person in a family to read this book for all to benefit.
Full of more information about the philosophy of eating together than you might expect
I felt like this book had some good advice in it. It mentioned quite a few ways to get your kids involved with dinner, both in preparation and actually eating it. I have a toddler and didn't feel like a lot of it was very relevant. But, it does give me some ideas for when he gets a little older, on what to try. The book did cover ways to make dinner fun, reducing tension, and ways to keep kids talking. So, it does have some useful information about those topics.
On the other hand, the book seemed to be lacking in some areas. The description mentioned that this book would help you "whip up quick, healthy, and tasty dinners." I felt this was pretty inaccurate. While there are good ideas to try, none of them seemed quick. If you're a busy parent looking for ways to get dinner ready fast, you won't find any ideas in this book. If you're are trying to get your kids more involved, then you'll learn some interesting things. While there were a few recipes in here, there weren't any I would want to try on a busy weekday. Another thing I didn't care for in this book is that a lot of time is spent talking about the benefits of eating and how it works for everyone else, instead of giving you more ideas to make it work for your family. After reading this, I understand family dinners are good, but I don't know how to realistically make it happen with very little time to devote to the preparation.
I think if you're curious about the benefits of family dinners, and don't know where to start, you might find this book interesting. But you have to make sure you have the time to try these things. If you're looking for ways to have a quick family dinner every night instead of no family dinner at all, then you should look for a different book to read.
I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway and wanted to leave my opinion about it.
Anne Fishel believes in the positive impact family dinners can have on parents and children. She’s so passionate about the idea that she cofounded The Family Dinner Project and wrote a book called Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun, and Conversation for a Happier Family and Healthier Kids. Fishel recognizes how difficult gathering everyone around the dinner table can be these days. Parents work, kids have sports, music lessons and other after-school activities.
But Fishel is also aware of the studies that tie “shared meals to increased resiliency and self-esteem in children, higher academic achievement, a healthier relationship to food, and even reduced risk of substance abuse and eating disorders.” With all of these benefits, connected to one simple activity, how can parents not make it a priority? The trouble is figuring out how to make it work.
Home for Dinner provides the blueprint. Certainly there are recipes for easy dinners in the book. But Fishel recognizes that the food is sometimes the least important part of a family meal. So she gives tips for conversation starters, ideas for making mealtime less stressful, and other suggestions to get the whole family on board with the concept.
Fishel doesn’t talk down to parents or scold them for not doing well enough; instead she gives them helpful support to make meaningful changes to daily family life. I highly recommend Home for Dinner for any parent who struggles to put healthy food on the table night after night.
The publisher provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
It’s an undisputed fact that eating dinner together regularly has benefits for the entire family. Younger kids tend to have a broader vocabulary. Older kids tend to have healthier body weights. Teenagers are less likely to develop eating disorders. And those are just a few of the benefits! The dinner table is a safe place to talk and connect, and often the entire family will be more forthcoming about their day. Sometimes, dinner is the only time that everyone can put down their cell phones for longer than five or ten minutes. You can read this entire review and others like it at San Diego Book Review.