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Nowhere Girl: Life as a Member of ADHD's Lost Generation
Why is a generation of women only now discovering they have ADHD? A journalist recounts her own experience living for decades with undiagnosed ADHD and explores the transformative power of finally coming to understand your own brain.
When freelance journalist Carla Ciccone became a mother, she realized she might need to finally see a therapist. Sure, she had struggled to hold down a job and manage her intense emotions for most of her adult life, but she’d always made it work. But “making it work“ wasn’t going to cut it now that she had another human being to raise.
Months into therapy, at age thirty-nine, Carla was officially diagnosed with ADHD, and she learned that she was far from the number of women Carla’s age who were being diagnosed with ADHD had more than doubled in recent years. Forty-one million prescriptions for the psychostimulant Adderall were filled in the United States in 2021, a 10% increase from the year before—and, for the first time, a substantial number of these new prescriptions were being written for women.
In Nowhere Girl, Carla weaves her personal story with a broader investigation into the rise of ADHD diagnoses. She looks back at the classrooms of the 1990s, where ADHD was diagnosed mostly to little boys who were unable to sit still, shifts her gaze to the hormonal upheavals of adolescence and their unique effects on the neurochemistry of girls, and then examines her own chaotic entrance into motherhood and her desire to do right by her own daughter. Throughout, she examines the science and cultural history of ADHD, and considers how the hundreds of thousands of women now being diagnosed with ADHD can revisit their own personal histories and navigate their way towards a steadier, happier adulthood.
When freelance journalist Carla Ciccone became a mother, she realized she might need to finally see a therapist. Sure, she had struggled to hold down a job and manage her intense emotions for most of her adult life, but she’d always made it work. But “making it work“ wasn’t going to cut it now that she had another human being to raise.
Months into therapy, at age thirty-nine, Carla was officially diagnosed with ADHD, and she learned that she was far from the number of women Carla’s age who were being diagnosed with ADHD had more than doubled in recent years. Forty-one million prescriptions for the psychostimulant Adderall were filled in the United States in 2021, a 10% increase from the year before—and, for the first time, a substantial number of these new prescriptions were being written for women.
In Nowhere Girl, Carla weaves her personal story with a broader investigation into the rise of ADHD diagnoses. She looks back at the classrooms of the 1990s, where ADHD was diagnosed mostly to little boys who were unable to sit still, shifts her gaze to the hormonal upheavals of adolescence and their unique effects on the neurochemistry of girls, and then examines her own chaotic entrance into motherhood and her desire to do right by her own daughter. Throughout, she examines the science and cultural history of ADHD, and considers how the hundreds of thousands of women now being diagnosed with ADHD can revisit their own personal histories and navigate their way towards a steadier, happier adulthood.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published September 9, 2025
174 people are currently reading
12571 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews
September 19, 2025
OH 🥹😭❤️🩹💔 first of all, I’m proud of myself for finishing my first audiobook thank u
This book made me SAD??? But also, I felt so seen. While not all of the content was super relatable to me (motherhood esp) the statistics and medical research was so incredibly comforting
I felt sad when I realized how relatable a lot of this content was to my own feelings, because I truly am so hard on myself for things often outside of my control
I feel like I am in a season of life filled with a lot of personal struggles with my brain. Which I am having a hard time navigating- but this book made me want to keep trying 💛🤍💘🧡
“Medication provided reasons for why they were struggling, but didn’t offer a way out”
*trigger warnings for sexual abuse, trauma, family issues, mental health
This book made me SAD??? But also, I felt so seen. While not all of the content was super relatable to me (motherhood esp) the statistics and medical research was so incredibly comforting
I felt sad when I realized how relatable a lot of this content was to my own feelings, because I truly am so hard on myself for things often outside of my control
I feel like I am in a season of life filled with a lot of personal struggles with my brain. Which I am having a hard time navigating- but this book made me want to keep trying 💛🤍💘🧡
“Medication provided reasons for why they were struggling, but didn’t offer a way out”
*trigger warnings for sexual abuse, trauma, family issues, mental health
July 30, 2025
I received a free copy of, Nowhere Girl, by Carla Ciccone, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This is a book about ADHD, how even adults can be diagnosed with it, men and women, kids of all ages, have been diagnosed with this disease. This is an interesting book, with one women's account of having ADHD.
September 15, 2025
3.5 stars. I’m on a memoir kick this year, and this was another good one. I don’t have ADHD, but both my boyfriend and my lifelong best friend do, so this is a subject I’m always looking for more insight on, especially from the female perspective. Growing up, my friend faced many childhood and academic struggles similar to Ciccone’s and relatively unique to women before finally receiving her diagnosis just before starting her grad program--this despite showing clear signs from the time she learned to walk and talk. Many conversations have been had about how much easier undergrad would've been for her if the doctors had listened, and how fortunate she is not to have to earn her PhD in that same mental space; and the book really does speak to this kind of experience.
There is a good amount of information in here for those who are not already familiar with ADHD, particularly ADHD in women. For some people, I think the information will be a bit basic. Still, I personally felt it was a fair balance of information considering this is Ciccone’s memoir about her experience and the experiences of those she spoke to personally, not a purely informational book, though Ciccone does cite her sources carefully when discussing the data.
I really enjoyed Ciccone’s writing, sense of humor, and honesty. Parts of this book are devastating, parts are uplifting, and it’s all very well-narrated with a clear voice. The main issue I had was that often, the transition between personal accounts and deeper dives into information/statistics is a bit jarring. There were plenty of times where the narrative would take a detour for the science and then pop back into a story about Ciccone’s life that I had already lost track of due to the tangent. None of these interjections felt unnecessary; they just felt like they could’ve been structured better. Overall, though, this was a good one.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for a review!
There is a good amount of information in here for those who are not already familiar with ADHD, particularly ADHD in women. For some people, I think the information will be a bit basic. Still, I personally felt it was a fair balance of information considering this is Ciccone’s memoir about her experience and the experiences of those she spoke to personally, not a purely informational book, though Ciccone does cite her sources carefully when discussing the data.
I really enjoyed Ciccone’s writing, sense of humor, and honesty. Parts of this book are devastating, parts are uplifting, and it’s all very well-narrated with a clear voice. The main issue I had was that often, the transition between personal accounts and deeper dives into information/statistics is a bit jarring. There were plenty of times where the narrative would take a detour for the science and then pop back into a story about Ciccone’s life that I had already lost track of due to the tangent. None of these interjections felt unnecessary; they just felt like they could’ve been structured better. Overall, though, this was a good one.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for a review!
September 2, 2025
‘Nowhere Girl’ is a memoir based on the life of Carla Ciccone who blends in her own lived experience with evidenced-based literature on ADHD.
A ‘nowhere girl’ is a woman who grew up undiagnosed, untreated, and ignored for most of her life. In order to make sense of her world, Ciccone has taken a look back at her life and offers a more compassionate perspective to her story. This approach makes room for multiple points of connection rather than maintaining the aimless wandering typical of nowhere girls.
This book highlights gender bias and overlooked aspects when diagnosing mental health conditions. It’s easily relatable and well researched. It imbues a kindness to self sentiment.
Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for the e-arc.
A ‘nowhere girl’ is a woman who grew up undiagnosed, untreated, and ignored for most of her life. In order to make sense of her world, Ciccone has taken a look back at her life and offers a more compassionate perspective to her story. This approach makes room for multiple points of connection rather than maintaining the aimless wandering typical of nowhere girls.
This book highlights gender bias and overlooked aspects when diagnosing mental health conditions. It’s easily relatable and well researched. It imbues a kindness to self sentiment.
Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for the e-arc.
Currently reading
May 18, 2025love this cover! i have a feeling this book is gonna hit home.
Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher, for providing me with an ARC of this book.
Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher, for providing me with an ARC of this book.
September 19, 2025
First off, I absolutely love a good tell-all style memoir especially from a Canadian girly! Her storytelling had a perfect balance between humor and honesty.
I found myself relating to so many of her struggles, especially navigating life while unknowingly living with ADHD. The book is packed with research and facts that connects ADHD not just to medical issues, but also to the pressures of societal “norms.”
This book shines a long overdue spotlight on ADHD in women. I kept getting emotional over the fact that there are actually others out there who feel just like me. Each day I’m learning how to better accept my own brain instead of hiding from it. What a read. 🥲 ❤️🩹
“Nowhere girls are not only the girls science forgot. We are the girls who’ve been bending ourselves into uncomfortable shapes for our entire lives, ashamed that we’re unable to perform life with the ease that other people seem to.”
If I had one critique, it would be that the book could have used clearer trigger warnings, many heavy topics are covered in this one!!
I found myself relating to so many of her struggles, especially navigating life while unknowingly living with ADHD. The book is packed with research and facts that connects ADHD not just to medical issues, but also to the pressures of societal “norms.”
This book shines a long overdue spotlight on ADHD in women. I kept getting emotional over the fact that there are actually others out there who feel just like me. Each day I’m learning how to better accept my own brain instead of hiding from it. What a read. 🥲 ❤️🩹
“Nowhere girls are not only the girls science forgot. We are the girls who’ve been bending ourselves into uncomfortable shapes for our entire lives, ashamed that we’re unable to perform life with the ease that other people seem to.”
If I had one critique, it would be that the book could have used clearer trigger warnings, many heavy topics are covered in this one!!
October 23, 2025
Wow, this is the MOST relatable non fiction I have read. I do not have a lot of the same symptoms as the author as a child, but all of the other things were just so so spot on. It did get a bit technical and references at times, but I was never bored and I learned SO MUCH. Highly recommend the audiobook!
November 20, 2025
As an afab person with ADHD, I thought I'd be in the target audience for this book, but it didn't feel like it while reading. I found it excruciatingly dull. Ciccone doesn't seem to have the knack of making her story engaging; nothing in the memoir sections feels at all remarkable. Interspersed with these is a lot of info-dumping about the condition that didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, so it just added to the boredom. Two stars because maybe it might be useful to a different audience - women wondering if they may have ADHD, perhaps, rather than those who already know.
October 22, 2025
The most furiously validating book I’ve read on what it means to have a late in life ADHD diagnosis as a woman. An exhale. I want to cry for a year. Etc.
September 23, 2025
(4.25 stars)
Thank you to The Dial Press for the complimentary eARC via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
This non-fiction read is mostly set up as a memoir in which author Carla Ciccone looks back on her life through the lens of her later-in-life ADHD diagnosis. Ciccone also uses her journalist background to supplement her own story with studies, statistics, and observations about ADHD in women and other understudied populations. She ties together her childhood and several of the traumas she experienced, her adolescence and young adulthood, and her more recent life as a new mother - the phase in which she was finally diagnosed.
I recommend this book to readers who have ADHD or think they might, along with those who may be wondering why it feels like so many women in their 30s suddenly seem to have ADHD. Beyond this particular disorder, Ciccone also touches on other forms of neurodivergence, misogyny, unconscious bias, the patriarchy, and how our societal systems are not set up for women and families with children.
Audio note: Since I read this after its pub date, I mostly listened to the audiobook with my Spotify hours. Ciccone narrates herself and I felt like I got to know her even better than if I'd only read with my eyes.
I appreciated this book in a deeply personal, cathartic way. I don't talk about it very much (especially on the internet) but I too am a "Nowhere Girl" as Ciccone calls us. While my experience differs from hers in many ways, I do fall into the category of receiving an ADHD diagnosis in my mid-30s, when motherhood and life in general had caught up to me enough that I saw some of my struggles in a new light. To be honest, I still have imposter syndrome about "really" having it, even though I know I do. I'm also still working through what it means to me, how best to treat it, how to moderate the judgmental voice inside my head, and how to integrate the diagnosis into my personal identity. No biggie right?
Thank you so much to the author for being so open with her story and bringing this book to fruition! It was a good reminder that I'm not alone, and that I can be more self-compassionate and continue some of the work I have started. Very grateful to to have read this book!
One last note: Please check content warnings if you have topics you need to avoid to care for yourself.
Thank you to The Dial Press for the complimentary eARC via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
This non-fiction read is mostly set up as a memoir in which author Carla Ciccone looks back on her life through the lens of her later-in-life ADHD diagnosis. Ciccone also uses her journalist background to supplement her own story with studies, statistics, and observations about ADHD in women and other understudied populations. She ties together her childhood and several of the traumas she experienced, her adolescence and young adulthood, and her more recent life as a new mother - the phase in which she was finally diagnosed.
I recommend this book to readers who have ADHD or think they might, along with those who may be wondering why it feels like so many women in their 30s suddenly seem to have ADHD. Beyond this particular disorder, Ciccone also touches on other forms of neurodivergence, misogyny, unconscious bias, the patriarchy, and how our societal systems are not set up for women and families with children.
Audio note: Since I read this after its pub date, I mostly listened to the audiobook with my Spotify hours. Ciccone narrates herself and I felt like I got to know her even better than if I'd only read with my eyes.
I appreciated this book in a deeply personal, cathartic way. I don't talk about it very much (especially on the internet) but I too am a "Nowhere Girl" as Ciccone calls us. While my experience differs from hers in many ways, I do fall into the category of receiving an ADHD diagnosis in my mid-30s, when motherhood and life in general had caught up to me enough that I saw some of my struggles in a new light. To be honest, I still have imposter syndrome about "really" having it, even though I know I do. I'm also still working through what it means to me, how best to treat it, how to moderate the judgmental voice inside my head, and how to integrate the diagnosis into my personal identity. No biggie right?
Thank you so much to the author for being so open with her story and bringing this book to fruition! It was a good reminder that I'm not alone, and that I can be more self-compassionate and continue some of the work I have started. Very grateful to to have read this book!
One last note: Please check content warnings if you have topics you need to avoid to care for yourself.
October 16, 2025
In NOWHERE GIRL, author Carla Ciccone recounts her experience of living for decades with undiagnosed ADHD. I wanted to read this memoir on behalf of my daughter. She was diagnosed with ADHD in the second grade and is now a teenager in high school. I was hoping that it would give me a better understanding of how things might be during her teen years and into adulthood, and Ciccone provided exactly that.
When Ciccone discusses her early years in school, I was nodding my head constantly and remembering similar instances that my daughter experienced. So many of my daughter’s behaviors and struggles mirrored the author’s own. Ciccone blends scientific studies and cultural history along with her own life experiences to shed light on how ADHD symptoms appear differently in girls. So many early studies focus on typical symptoms shown in boys—hyperactivity and impulse control—which is generally not the case for girls. Females tend to be inattentive and mask a lot of their symptoms which leads to a misdiagnosis or no diagnosis at all. I thank my lucky stars every single day for my daughter’s second grade teacher who suggested that my daughter get tested.
Even though Ciccone received her diagnosis later in life, the signs were all there in her early years—the events and behaviors shared in this memoir make that perfectly clear. In her entrance into motherhood, she took the steps to do right by her own daughter in order to be the parent that she needs and deserves.
If you believe that you yourself, your daughter, or another female in your life may have ADHD, I highly recommend this memoir. I guarantee that it’ll be eye-opening and informative. 4/5 stars for NOWHERE GIRL! It’s available now!
When Ciccone discusses her early years in school, I was nodding my head constantly and remembering similar instances that my daughter experienced. So many of my daughter’s behaviors and struggles mirrored the author’s own. Ciccone blends scientific studies and cultural history along with her own life experiences to shed light on how ADHD symptoms appear differently in girls. So many early studies focus on typical symptoms shown in boys—hyperactivity and impulse control—which is generally not the case for girls. Females tend to be inattentive and mask a lot of their symptoms which leads to a misdiagnosis or no diagnosis at all. I thank my lucky stars every single day for my daughter’s second grade teacher who suggested that my daughter get tested.
Even though Ciccone received her diagnosis later in life, the signs were all there in her early years—the events and behaviors shared in this memoir make that perfectly clear. In her entrance into motherhood, she took the steps to do right by her own daughter in order to be the parent that she needs and deserves.
If you believe that you yourself, your daughter, or another female in your life may have ADHD, I highly recommend this memoir. I guarantee that it’ll be eye-opening and informative. 4/5 stars for NOWHERE GIRL! It’s available now!
January 8, 2026
Nowhere Girl is the kind of book that stays with you forever. I am not a Nowhere Girl, but following Carla’s life journey made me understand them so much better. I didn’t only learn how destabilizing it can be to go through a part of your life without knowing that you have ADHD, but I also witnessed how keeping women in the dark in medicine studies affects so many of us.
I hope that this book, just like many more that dare speak out and make women’s voices heard, is a start to a shift in our society. I’m tired of hearing of women struggling with their mental or physical health only for them to be looked over simply because they are women. We deserve so much better.
I hope that this book, just like many more that dare speak out and make women’s voices heard, is a start to a shift in our society. I’m tired of hearing of women struggling with their mental or physical health only for them to be looked over simply because they are women. We deserve so much better.
September 30, 2025
I really enjoyed this book. I listened to the audiobook and the narration was GREAT. Definitely did a fantastic job at the deep dive of having ADHD as a woman, it made me feel heard and so validated.
Anyone with ADHD, people dating someone with ADHD, or anyone wanting to learn more about what life is like with ADHD should read this. It’s not always the go go to and bouncing off the walls that society portrays as ADHD and gives a great insight on what life is as a neurodivergent person.
Anyways - big fan.
Anyone with ADHD, people dating someone with ADHD, or anyone wanting to learn more about what life is like with ADHD should read this. It’s not always the go go to and bouncing off the walls that society portrays as ADHD and gives a great insight on what life is as a neurodivergent person.
Anyways - big fan.
February 4, 2026
Reading this book felt like a deep exhale - so many moments of “yes, that’s me.” Even though many of the author’s ADHD symptoms don’t quite fit with my experience, they still resonated.
I’m on a soft journey of self-discovery postpartum, and while I still don’t know whether I have ADHD, the author’s wit, compassion, and thoughtful self-reflection gave me a sense of understanding I’ve been craving.
I’m on a soft journey of self-discovery postpartum, and while I still don’t know whether I have ADHD, the author’s wit, compassion, and thoughtful self-reflection gave me a sense of understanding I’ve been craving.
June 8, 2025
This book merges memoir and science, weaving the author’s personal journey with broader research on ADHD, especially how gender bias has long masked symptoms in girls. This blend keeps the narrative engaging and accessible, avoiding purely clinical language.
The book traces the author’s life from childhood through growing up, becoming a mother, trying various medications, and learning to love herself. The author specifically talks about their therapy experience going back and forgiving or helping their younger selves heal. This is very much how this book read, as an exploration and processing of how ADHD was present and could have been addressed throughout the author’s life if diagnosed properly earlier.
This book is highly relatable and deeply moving, including likely familiar experiences for most as this spans from childhood to age 40. This is also recent, so impacts like COVID isolation are also included in the discussion. The way this memoir blends memoir with science makes these complex topics emotionally approachable.
Overall, I applaud the author’s ability to share their experience and struggles so transparently and the research they brought into their memoir. I think this is an educational and relatable read, especially for the “nowhere girls” who grew up unseen. If you appreciate heartfelt memoirs that illuminate overlooked aspects of mental health, this is a great read to offer both intellectual insight and emotional resonance.
The book traces the author’s life from childhood through growing up, becoming a mother, trying various medications, and learning to love herself. The author specifically talks about their therapy experience going back and forgiving or helping their younger selves heal. This is very much how this book read, as an exploration and processing of how ADHD was present and could have been addressed throughout the author’s life if diagnosed properly earlier.
This book is highly relatable and deeply moving, including likely familiar experiences for most as this spans from childhood to age 40. This is also recent, so impacts like COVID isolation are also included in the discussion. The way this memoir blends memoir with science makes these complex topics emotionally approachable.
Overall, I applaud the author’s ability to share their experience and struggles so transparently and the research they brought into their memoir. I think this is an educational and relatable read, especially for the “nowhere girls” who grew up unseen. If you appreciate heartfelt memoirs that illuminate overlooked aspects of mental health, this is a great read to offer both intellectual insight and emotional resonance.
May 28, 2025
2.5 ⭐ rounded up to 3
I was super excited for this one and initially while reading I kept that same excitement, but the more I read it the less I cared to keep going. While I did relate to some of the things she spoke about, I think it was overall a bit too unrelatable for me, but that isn't why the low atr staying as that's a me problem not a memoir problem. I'm sure some people will relate to this one super well and love it though!
I think I just thought it felt a bit klunky the more I kept reading. I also felt like I kept waiting for more that just never came. Felt a bit too short for my liking and I felt underwhelmes by it.
I think this could be very helpful for people in similar situationa as Carla or people that don't a lot about ADHD.
As always, thank you so much to NetGalley and The Dial Press for an ARC of this memoir!
I was super excited for this one and initially while reading I kept that same excitement, but the more I read it the less I cared to keep going. While I did relate to some of the things she spoke about, I think it was overall a bit too unrelatable for me, but that isn't why the low atr staying as that's a me problem not a memoir problem. I'm sure some people will relate to this one super well and love it though!
I think I just thought it felt a bit klunky the more I kept reading. I also felt like I kept waiting for more that just never came. Felt a bit too short for my liking and I felt underwhelmes by it.
I think this could be very helpful for people in similar situationa as Carla or people that don't a lot about ADHD.
As always, thank you so much to NetGalley and The Dial Press for an ARC of this memoir!
January 28, 2026
This past summer I was visiting the beautiful offices of Penguin Random House Canada in Toronto, and a publicist had pitched Nowhere Girl, Life as a Member of ADHD’s Lost Generation by Carla Ciccone to me. It was an interesting memoir because it was attached to this emerging diagnosis that women in their 30s, 40s and beyond were receiving for the first time: ADHD. Many people, including myself assumed this was a diagnosis often given to young rambunctious children who can’t sit still in school, but as Ciccone argues (along with recent, scientifically proven research) that ADHD presents itself very differently in men and women, and historically, women have been struggling with this undiagnosed problem until very recently.
Book Summary
This is a memoir first and foremost, so Ciccone tells the story of her life beginning with a fairly average childhood of growing up in Canada. Her ADHD diagnosis comes at the age of 39, a few years after having her daughter. The author’s life is peppered with the relatable challenges of growing up including bullying, having difficulties with school, and a general fear of adulthood. But the chaos of her internal life, and the vitriolic inner dialogue she has with herself is what sets this apart from the typical ‘coming of age’ story. Depression plays a major part in this, and luckily she is diagnosed with that earlier than the ADHD, and finds some medication that seems to help, although once she finally receives her ADHD diagnosis, this triggers an emotional analysis of her life up until that point, realizing that her own personality traits she once despised may not have been simply a product of her laziness or disorganization, as she previously thought. For the purposes of this story she interviews other women known as “Nowhere Girls”, those who also received a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis, finding a community of people who can relate to her previous self-loathing, together realizing that their struggles are similar, and not just due to a lack of self-discipline, as they had previously been told. This is a ‘reported’ memoir, which is a term new to me, but basically means that the narrative also includes quoted research, and this book definitely has loads of facts that back up Ciccone’s claims and personal experiences. A few prominent researchers in the ADHD field are quoted throughout, and numerous studies are cited as well.
My Thoughts
As a freelance journalist, it’s obvious that Ciccone has done her research, and done it well. The notes and references to the surveys and research she cites are well laid out, and she does an incredible job of lacing these factual notes in with her life story. She touches upon certain memories in her youth that were clearly milestones for her, both positive and negative, including a childhood trauma that shapes the way she relates to others’ judgement for years afterwards. But now that she has this ADHD diagnosis, she looks at these events through this different, more informed lens, helping her process what she previously believed to be simply her own shortcomings. My only complaint with this pattern of connecting her every problem and ADHD trait was that it began to sound like every little issue she had could be traced back to ADHD, which can get repetitive for the reader. It seemed as though every challenge could somehow be linked back to her ADHD diagnosis, when in many cases lots of people experience the same thing and they simply call it ‘life’. But I realize how cynical this sounds, and it’s unfair of me to point out this out when the entire point of the book is looking back at one’s life with a new medical perspective, but I’ll admit to rolling my eyes at some parts because of this.
Gender is of course another major topic in this book, and she spends much time comparing herself as a young girl to the young boys in her school who would have immediately received an ADHD diagnosis; she didn’t have any trouble sitting still in class, so no one ever thought that her difficulty focusing could be anything but a lack of self discipline. Ciccone internalized this message of laziness and became her own worst critic, punishing herself with harmful self-talk and pushing through pain when she felt she wasn’t measuring up, which became even worse when Ciccone had a daughter of her own.
“In pursuit of the perfection demanded of women and mothers, my mom was always hardest on herself. She was my first model for the seemingly automatic self-blame many girls and women use to motivate themselves. She didn’t do this on purpose. Mothers hand down the hellish act of self-criticism to their daughters by talking about themselves with the judgement the world expects from them. The patriarchy sets us up to hate ourselves and laughs as we unwittingly train our daughters to do the same. For my mom, being good meant self-sacrifice” (p. 67 of Nowhere Girls by Carla Ciccone, ARC edition).
I think this pursuit of perfection is a very common thread for women, whether we are mothers or not. My first instinct is to blame myself because I feel as though my drive comes from within, although perhaps this is the point Ciccone is making – society’s expectations of women are so pervasive, this drive for perfection feels like it comes from within because we’ve completely internalized it. I’m interested to hear what other people think (men and women!) in the comments below. Either about this book, or the gender expectations around behaviour.
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Book Summary
This is a memoir first and foremost, so Ciccone tells the story of her life beginning with a fairly average childhood of growing up in Canada. Her ADHD diagnosis comes at the age of 39, a few years after having her daughter. The author’s life is peppered with the relatable challenges of growing up including bullying, having difficulties with school, and a general fear of adulthood. But the chaos of her internal life, and the vitriolic inner dialogue she has with herself is what sets this apart from the typical ‘coming of age’ story. Depression plays a major part in this, and luckily she is diagnosed with that earlier than the ADHD, and finds some medication that seems to help, although once she finally receives her ADHD diagnosis, this triggers an emotional analysis of her life up until that point, realizing that her own personality traits she once despised may not have been simply a product of her laziness or disorganization, as she previously thought. For the purposes of this story she interviews other women known as “Nowhere Girls”, those who also received a later-in-life ADHD diagnosis, finding a community of people who can relate to her previous self-loathing, together realizing that their struggles are similar, and not just due to a lack of self-discipline, as they had previously been told. This is a ‘reported’ memoir, which is a term new to me, but basically means that the narrative also includes quoted research, and this book definitely has loads of facts that back up Ciccone’s claims and personal experiences. A few prominent researchers in the ADHD field are quoted throughout, and numerous studies are cited as well.
My Thoughts
As a freelance journalist, it’s obvious that Ciccone has done her research, and done it well. The notes and references to the surveys and research she cites are well laid out, and she does an incredible job of lacing these factual notes in with her life story. She touches upon certain memories in her youth that were clearly milestones for her, both positive and negative, including a childhood trauma that shapes the way she relates to others’ judgement for years afterwards. But now that she has this ADHD diagnosis, she looks at these events through this different, more informed lens, helping her process what she previously believed to be simply her own shortcomings. My only complaint with this pattern of connecting her every problem and ADHD trait was that it began to sound like every little issue she had could be traced back to ADHD, which can get repetitive for the reader. It seemed as though every challenge could somehow be linked back to her ADHD diagnosis, when in many cases lots of people experience the same thing and they simply call it ‘life’. But I realize how cynical this sounds, and it’s unfair of me to point out this out when the entire point of the book is looking back at one’s life with a new medical perspective, but I’ll admit to rolling my eyes at some parts because of this.
Gender is of course another major topic in this book, and she spends much time comparing herself as a young girl to the young boys in her school who would have immediately received an ADHD diagnosis; she didn’t have any trouble sitting still in class, so no one ever thought that her difficulty focusing could be anything but a lack of self discipline. Ciccone internalized this message of laziness and became her own worst critic, punishing herself with harmful self-talk and pushing through pain when she felt she wasn’t measuring up, which became even worse when Ciccone had a daughter of her own.
“In pursuit of the perfection demanded of women and mothers, my mom was always hardest on herself. She was my first model for the seemingly automatic self-blame many girls and women use to motivate themselves. She didn’t do this on purpose. Mothers hand down the hellish act of self-criticism to their daughters by talking about themselves with the judgement the world expects from them. The patriarchy sets us up to hate ourselves and laughs as we unwittingly train our daughters to do the same. For my mom, being good meant self-sacrifice” (p. 67 of Nowhere Girls by Carla Ciccone, ARC edition).
I think this pursuit of perfection is a very common thread for women, whether we are mothers or not. My first instinct is to blame myself because I feel as though my drive comes from within, although perhaps this is the point Ciccone is making – society’s expectations of women are so pervasive, this drive for perfection feels like it comes from within because we’ve completely internalized it. I’m interested to hear what other people think (men and women!) in the comments below. Either about this book, or the gender expectations around behaviour.
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September 24, 2025
4.25 stars ✨
I teared up a bit reading this because I felt so seen.
The author does a beautiful job of sharing her personal experiences while seamlessly weaving academic research to paint a full picture of her life as a woman with ADHD. I could relate to a lot of what she wrote, and paired with the evidence-based literature, this made me feel so validated, especially as someone who was diagnosed as an adult. There’s a healing element in finally being able to place an explanation for why things felt harder than they should be.
I found comfort in the way she addressed the gender bias in the research and how dismissive it is towards girls and the struggles that we face. As a woman of color from a low-income household, I also appreciated that she brought about the racial and socioeconomic class differences that create disparity in diagnoses and appropriate next steps.
One thing I wish the author had provided more insight into is the “Nowhere Girls” she surveyed. It would have helped to read even snippets from the women included in her research.
While this book is for the “lost generation,” it reads like a story of girlhood. As women, we are often told that we’re overreacting and treated as though our problems are not worth taking seriously. This memoir serves as a reminder that our experiences are valid and deserve to be discussed.
Overall, this was such an informative and engaging text. I would recommend this to anyone with ADHD or who is looking to learn more about how it may affect a person in their day-to-day life.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and The Dial Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
I teared up a bit reading this because I felt so seen.
The author does a beautiful job of sharing her personal experiences while seamlessly weaving academic research to paint a full picture of her life as a woman with ADHD. I could relate to a lot of what she wrote, and paired with the evidence-based literature, this made me feel so validated, especially as someone who was diagnosed as an adult. There’s a healing element in finally being able to place an explanation for why things felt harder than they should be.
I found comfort in the way she addressed the gender bias in the research and how dismissive it is towards girls and the struggles that we face. As a woman of color from a low-income household, I also appreciated that she brought about the racial and socioeconomic class differences that create disparity in diagnoses and appropriate next steps.
One thing I wish the author had provided more insight into is the “Nowhere Girls” she surveyed. It would have helped to read even snippets from the women included in her research.
While this book is for the “lost generation,” it reads like a story of girlhood. As women, we are often told that we’re overreacting and treated as though our problems are not worth taking seriously. This memoir serves as a reminder that our experiences are valid and deserve to be discussed.
Overall, this was such an informative and engaging text. I would recommend this to anyone with ADHD or who is looking to learn more about how it may affect a person in their day-to-day life.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and The Dial Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
September 23, 2025
This was a MOST anticipated book for me and it did NOT disappoint!! Part motherhood/parenting memoir, part cultural history of ADHD treatment and part reflection on sexual assault and trauma (both as a child and an adult).
Canadian journalist Carla Ciccone is wholly vulnerable as she shares some incredibly personal stories growing up with undiagnosed ADHD, dyscalculia and asthma and she does a great job laying out how neurodiversity has historically been shown to be connected to many other conditions (including asthma).
She also touches on her sobriety journey, struggles with mental health following the birth of her daughter, being gaslight and neglected by the medical profession when she sought help and feeling alone and depressed post-partum.
While not named, she shares about her involvement with Jian Ghomeshi, as one of the early whistleblowers and how she was condemned and worse and it wasn't until others stepped forward years later that people finally believed her. I really appreciated the Canadian lens she writes through and how so much of her story resonated with me. Great on audio and for a shorter book the author unpacks quite a LOT!!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review. Highly recommended for fans of authors like Libby Ward who has her own ADHD motherhood, mental health memoir coming out in 2026: Honest Motherhood.
Canadian journalist Carla Ciccone is wholly vulnerable as she shares some incredibly personal stories growing up with undiagnosed ADHD, dyscalculia and asthma and she does a great job laying out how neurodiversity has historically been shown to be connected to many other conditions (including asthma).
She also touches on her sobriety journey, struggles with mental health following the birth of her daughter, being gaslight and neglected by the medical profession when she sought help and feeling alone and depressed post-partum.
While not named, she shares about her involvement with Jian Ghomeshi, as one of the early whistleblowers and how she was condemned and worse and it wasn't until others stepped forward years later that people finally believed her. I really appreciated the Canadian lens she writes through and how so much of her story resonated with me. Great on audio and for a shorter book the author unpacks quite a LOT!!
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review. Highly recommended for fans of authors like Libby Ward who has her own ADHD motherhood, mental health memoir coming out in 2026: Honest Motherhood.
January 26, 2026
In true Nowhere Girl fashion i took this out from the library and only started reading it after it was already overdue. I really, really, REALLY loved this book and urge every later-in-life diagnosed neurodivergent person to read it. I love the memoire with research sprinkled through format and Carla Ciccone really did it justice. I laughed and I cried and I got angry at the world and comforted about not being alone. If i had to give a critique (which I dont really but) what i would say is some of the topics touched on towards the end (chapters 7 and 8) felt a little "thrown in" and flowed a bit less with the rest of the book that had felt like a true timeline, but i'm also pretty sure that i wouldve chosen to add them in a similar way because they were really important topics to touch on and it was really well written so i'm not really that pressed about it. Carla is relatable and intelligent and i would read it again immediately if i didnt have to give it back to the library
Read
December 11, 2025I'm interested in the uptick in women who are diagnosed later in life with things like ADHD and ASD. This book made me think about the ways that the patriarchy forces women with legitimate diagnoses to mask their symptoms (something women are clearly MUCH better at than men) and not get actual proper treatment to help quality of life. Just another way that men attempt to control and assert power over women - getting their own treatment to curb symptoms of the very same thing they force women to deal with alone.
Not going to give this a rating because it's a memoir.
Not going to give this a rating because it's a memoir.
December 27, 2025
Me reading this book about undiagnosed childhood/young adulthood ADHD after just getting an official ADHD diagnosis at 24 from a full neuropsych assessment after a few years of uncertainty and confusion of my silly brain already infected with OCD, anxiety, and depression:
4.25 stars? Probably?
4.25 stars? Probably?
December 20, 2025
I listened to the audiobook and it was such a great experiencia. The author narrates it and it left me impressed with her strength in sharing some heavy personal topics. It was also great to hear the emotion in her voice.
The subject lives close to my heart, as a late and recently diagnosed myself. It’s always great to gather more insights on the journey of living and trying to adapt oneself with knowing about the diagnosis.
Ciccione mixed a great amount of research with her own personal life and insights. The structure of the book made it easy to understand, and I appreciated her bringing how ADHD has impacted her parenting experience.
I highly recommend it!
The subject lives close to my heart, as a late and recently diagnosed myself. It’s always great to gather more insights on the journey of living and trying to adapt oneself with knowing about the diagnosis.
Ciccione mixed a great amount of research with her own personal life and insights. The structure of the book made it easy to understand, and I appreciated her bringing how ADHD has impacted her parenting experience.
I highly recommend it!
September 11, 2025
*audio edition*
A really interesting memoir/history of ADHD in women, or lack thereof as we learn. Really loved that this was a Canadian author as well!
A really interesting memoir/history of ADHD in women, or lack thereof as we learn. Really loved that this was a Canadian author as well!
October 1, 2025
I have never felt more seen by a book. If you are a late diagnosed ADHD woman, you NEED to read this ASAP. I will be buying my own copy.
November 7, 2025
A perfect blend of memoir and science. All Nowhere Girls should consider this a must-read!
August 14, 2025
I really enjoyed the content of this book and the fact that it was part memoir, part research.
As a new mom, the motherhood parts of this really hit close to home and I related heavily to how hard it is to juggle everything.
Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book!
As a new mom, the motherhood parts of this really hit close to home and I related heavily to how hard it is to juggle everything.
Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book!
September 10, 2025
It was an honour to record this audiobook, and through laughter and through tears, hear Carla bravely share her story with the world 💞
November 7, 2025
This was an amazing book. I want to thank Carla for putting herself on these pages and sharing her diagnosis journey with us.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 17, so not into adulthood like Carla and those that she interviewed for this book. However, I struggled the entire time in elementary and high school, despite teachers knowing and telling my parents I had ADHD (unbeknownst to me). The ADHD diagnosis helped me get support I always needed and helped me succeed in post-secondary & life in general afterwards.
Carla filled this book with honest stories of her life and the way she struggled from childhood to adulthood with what she didn’t know what ADHD at the time. She spoke to different people who got diagnosed at different stages of adulthood and includes incredible facts from different books and studies done on ADHD. I don’t know really anyone in my life with ADHD and hearing her stories, genuinely made me tear up at times. It feels so surreal to hear someone with the exact same experiences and makes you feel less alone as a person.
This book is great for anyone who struggles with ADHD, hasn’t been diagnosed yet or just wants an in depth view on how it affects individuals.
Thank you Carla.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 17, so not into adulthood like Carla and those that she interviewed for this book. However, I struggled the entire time in elementary and high school, despite teachers knowing and telling my parents I had ADHD (unbeknownst to me). The ADHD diagnosis helped me get support I always needed and helped me succeed in post-secondary & life in general afterwards.
Carla filled this book with honest stories of her life and the way she struggled from childhood to adulthood with what she didn’t know what ADHD at the time. She spoke to different people who got diagnosed at different stages of adulthood and includes incredible facts from different books and studies done on ADHD. I don’t know really anyone in my life with ADHD and hearing her stories, genuinely made me tear up at times. It feels so surreal to hear someone with the exact same experiences and makes you feel less alone as a person.
This book is great for anyone who struggles with ADHD, hasn’t been diagnosed yet or just wants an in depth view on how it affects individuals.
Thank you Carla.
November 30, 2025
Thank you Carla Ciccone and Random House Publishing for a NetGalley ARC Copy of Nowhere Girls
Rating 4/5 ⭐
As someone that is not diagnosed, but highly suspects myself of having ADHD, this was such a helpful insight into life with and behaviors associated with this disorder. I appreciate the author's humor and honesty as she shares her life stories, even the uncomfortable ones. I did find myself struggling a bit with the transition from life story to research/statistics as there was no clear break in the text. Overall I found this memoir extremely informative and feel as I’ve gained a better understanding of what life post diagnosis can look like. 💕
Rating 4/5 ⭐
As someone that is not diagnosed, but highly suspects myself of having ADHD, this was such a helpful insight into life with and behaviors associated with this disorder. I appreciate the author's humor and honesty as she shares her life stories, even the uncomfortable ones. I did find myself struggling a bit with the transition from life story to research/statistics as there was no clear break in the text. Overall I found this memoir extremely informative and feel as I’ve gained a better understanding of what life post diagnosis can look like. 💕
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