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Don't Let Him Know
In a boxy apartment building in an Illinois university town, Romola Mitra, a newly arrived young bride, anxiously awaits her first letter from home in India. When she accidentally opens the wrong letter, it changes her life. Decades later, her son Amit finds that letter and thinks he has discovered his mother's secret. But secrets have their own secrets sometimes.
Amit does not know that Avinash, his dependable and devoted father, has been timidly visiting gay chat rooms, driven by the lifelong desires he never allowed himself to indulge. Avinash, for his part, doesn't understand what his dutiful wife gave up in marrying him -- the memories of romance she keeps tucked away.
Growing up in Calcutta, in a house bustling with feisty grandmothers, Amit has been shielded from his parents' secrets. Now he's a successful computer engineer, settled in San Franscisco yet torn between his new life and his duties to the one he left behind.
Moving from adolescent rooftop games to adult encounters in gay bars, from hair salons in Calcutta to McDonald's drive-thrus in California, Don't Let Him Know is an unforgettable story about family and the sacrifices we make for those we love. Tender, funny, and beautifully told, it marks the arrival of a resonant new voice.
Amit does not know that Avinash, his dependable and devoted father, has been timidly visiting gay chat rooms, driven by the lifelong desires he never allowed himself to indulge. Avinash, for his part, doesn't understand what his dutiful wife gave up in marrying him -- the memories of romance she keeps tucked away.
Growing up in Calcutta, in a house bustling with feisty grandmothers, Amit has been shielded from his parents' secrets. Now he's a successful computer engineer, settled in San Franscisco yet torn between his new life and his duties to the one he left behind.
Moving from adolescent rooftop games to adult encounters in gay bars, from hair salons in Calcutta to McDonald's drive-thrus in California, Don't Let Him Know is an unforgettable story about family and the sacrifices we make for those we love. Tender, funny, and beautifully told, it marks the arrival of a resonant new voice.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 20, 2015
46 people are currently reading
2050 people want to read
About the author
Sandip Roy
30 books26 followersSandip Roy is Senior Editor at the popular news portal Firstpost.com and blogs for the Huffington Post. He has been a longtime commentator on National Public Radio's Morning Edition, the most listened-to radio programme in the US, and has a weekly radio postcard for public radio in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is also an editor with New America Media. Sandip has won several awards for journalism and contributed to various anthologies including Storywallah!, Contours of the Heart, Because I Have a Voice: Queer Politics in India, Out! Stories from the New Queer India, New California Writing 2011 and The Phobic and the Erotic: The Politics of Sexualities in Contemporary India. Sandip lives in Kolkata.
(from http://www.bloomsbury.com/author/sand...)
(from http://www.bloomsbury.com/author/sand...)
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 167 reviews
April 10, 2015
“Sometimes, the biggest secrets you can only tell a stranger.”
----Michelle Hodkin American author/theater-actress
Sandip Roy is Senior Editor at the popular news portal and an Indian author, pens a gripping debut called, Don't Let Him Know which the author have cleverly portrayed a collection of short stories as a novel by interweaving each of his stories. This book revolves around a family where each of them has their own secret to uphold and lies to rule their life. Weaved between two generations, this book is like a collection of sea-shells- diverse, unique and has their own center of secret space.
Synopsis:
In a boxy apartment building in an Illinois university town, Romola Mitra, a newly arrived young bride, anxiously awaits her first letter from home in India. When she accidentally opens the wrong letter, it changes her life. Decades later, her son Amit finds that letter and thinks he has discovered his mother's secret. But secrets have their own secrets sometimes.
Amit does not know that Avinash, his dependable and devoted father, has been timidly visiting gay chat rooms, driven by the lifelong desires he never allowed himself to indulge. Avinash, for his part, doesn't understand what his dutiful wife gave up in marrying him -- the memories of romance she keeps tucked away.
Growing up in Calcutta, in a house bustling with feisty grandmothers, Amit has been shielded from his parents' secrets. Now he's a successful computer engineer, settled in San Fransisco yet torn between his new life and his duties to the one he left behind.
Moving from adolescent rooftop games to adult encounters in gay bars, from hair salons in Calcutta to McDonald's drive-thrus in California, Don't Let Him Know is an unforgettable story about family and the sacrifices we make for those we love. Tender, funny, and beautifully told, it marks the arrival of a resonant new voice.
The story begins with a woman named Romola Mitra visiting his son, Amit and his family in San Fransisco, after her husband's death. It is when Amit tells her mother that he has found an old, torn letter of his mother's lover. On this revelation, Romola becomes angry on that fact that she had cleaned off her past just like cleaning off the kitchen counter. Why is she guarding her secret even after her husband's death? Will she talk about it to her son, Amit?
All these questions are answered in the following chapters when one-by-one, the author delves deeper into the roots and personalities of the three central characters of the book-Romola, the wife, Avinash, the husband and Amit, the son.
From Romola's childhood stories to her marriage to facing her husband's secret side to feeling completely lost in the streets of America, that's how we got to know about Romola's demeanor, past, beliefs, secret crush, etc and the stories are more like an etching memory in the character's lives- distinct and sharp, but with no supporting story to look beyond that memory.
For Amit his life revolves around his house in Kolkata to his university days in San Fransisco. Amit is a very interesting character and sounds like the author have crafted him from his personal experiences. Amit's characterization strikes a cord with realism and truth and he is an epitome of how the lives of Indian immigrant students turn out to be in US/UK. From a dreadful phone call in the middle of the night from your loved ones to feeling attracted to the someone other than with Asian/Indian roots, to drinking bottled water when visiting hometown, to adapting the American lifestyle. And from his mother Romola, we are able to see the culture clash in Amit's demeanor, of how he became more American with his life.
The most important characters of this book is Avinash who is portrayed from an age when he comes to term with his new sexuality, attraction towards men, having affairs to the age when he gets married to Romola and how he shuts himself into his own cocoon of peace and content to the age when he visits gay chat rooms to feel his desires. What Avinash never heard from Romola's silence was her desire to be loved, which remained a faint dream forever in Romola's mind.
Secrets play a crucial role in the book as the characters are dependent upon their own secrets and web of lies, then carrying them like a baggage through generations. The writing is lyrical and eloquent with intricacy and each story have been crafted with compassion and deep emotions. This kaleidoscopic representation of the stories tell us a lot about so many aspects of life of a Bengali.
Verdict: This book is surely going to enthrall you with it's deep secrets and relationships beyond boundaries.
Courtesy: Thanks to the publishers from Bloomsbury for providing me with a copy of Sandip Roy's book, in return for an honest review.
----Michelle Hodkin American author/theater-actress
Sandip Roy is Senior Editor at the popular news portal and an Indian author, pens a gripping debut called, Don't Let Him Know which the author have cleverly portrayed a collection of short stories as a novel by interweaving each of his stories. This book revolves around a family where each of them has their own secret to uphold and lies to rule their life. Weaved between two generations, this book is like a collection of sea-shells- diverse, unique and has their own center of secret space.
Synopsis:
In a boxy apartment building in an Illinois university town, Romola Mitra, a newly arrived young bride, anxiously awaits her first letter from home in India. When she accidentally opens the wrong letter, it changes her life. Decades later, her son Amit finds that letter and thinks he has discovered his mother's secret. But secrets have their own secrets sometimes.
Amit does not know that Avinash, his dependable and devoted father, has been timidly visiting gay chat rooms, driven by the lifelong desires he never allowed himself to indulge. Avinash, for his part, doesn't understand what his dutiful wife gave up in marrying him -- the memories of romance she keeps tucked away.
Growing up in Calcutta, in a house bustling with feisty grandmothers, Amit has been shielded from his parents' secrets. Now he's a successful computer engineer, settled in San Fransisco yet torn between his new life and his duties to the one he left behind.
Moving from adolescent rooftop games to adult encounters in gay bars, from hair salons in Calcutta to McDonald's drive-thrus in California, Don't Let Him Know is an unforgettable story about family and the sacrifices we make for those we love. Tender, funny, and beautifully told, it marks the arrival of a resonant new voice.
The story begins with a woman named Romola Mitra visiting his son, Amit and his family in San Fransisco, after her husband's death. It is when Amit tells her mother that he has found an old, torn letter of his mother's lover. On this revelation, Romola becomes angry on that fact that she had cleaned off her past just like cleaning off the kitchen counter. Why is she guarding her secret even after her husband's death? Will she talk about it to her son, Amit?
All these questions are answered in the following chapters when one-by-one, the author delves deeper into the roots and personalities of the three central characters of the book-Romola, the wife, Avinash, the husband and Amit, the son.
From Romola's childhood stories to her marriage to facing her husband's secret side to feeling completely lost in the streets of America, that's how we got to know about Romola's demeanor, past, beliefs, secret crush, etc and the stories are more like an etching memory in the character's lives- distinct and sharp, but with no supporting story to look beyond that memory.
For Amit his life revolves around his house in Kolkata to his university days in San Fransisco. Amit is a very interesting character and sounds like the author have crafted him from his personal experiences. Amit's characterization strikes a cord with realism and truth and he is an epitome of how the lives of Indian immigrant students turn out to be in US/UK. From a dreadful phone call in the middle of the night from your loved ones to feeling attracted to the someone other than with Asian/Indian roots, to drinking bottled water when visiting hometown, to adapting the American lifestyle. And from his mother Romola, we are able to see the culture clash in Amit's demeanor, of how he became more American with his life.
The most important characters of this book is Avinash who is portrayed from an age when he comes to term with his new sexuality, attraction towards men, having affairs to the age when he gets married to Romola and how he shuts himself into his own cocoon of peace and content to the age when he visits gay chat rooms to feel his desires. What Avinash never heard from Romola's silence was her desire to be loved, which remained a faint dream forever in Romola's mind.
Secrets play a crucial role in the book as the characters are dependent upon their own secrets and web of lies, then carrying them like a baggage through generations. The writing is lyrical and eloquent with intricacy and each story have been crafted with compassion and deep emotions. This kaleidoscopic representation of the stories tell us a lot about so many aspects of life of a Bengali.
Verdict: This book is surely going to enthrall you with it's deep secrets and relationships beyond boundaries.
Courtesy: Thanks to the publishers from Bloomsbury for providing me with a copy of Sandip Roy's book, in return for an honest review.
February 21, 2018
This is an interesting novel. The setting of this novel is in the US and India. The story of Amit and his mother unfolds in both these places. Amit is gay. He finds it hard to break free from his family. It is difficult for him to come to terms with sexuality. Being in the US gives him the freedom to be free, but the pull of family and home is too strong to ignore. His is an educated middle-class family, and yet he feels torn between who he is and what is expected of him. What is also most interesting is that no one has yet imposed any restrictions on him. The censor within him is constantly at work.
One of the high points of this story explores the situation of married women in Indian society. Accidentally, one day Amit finds a letter that someone has written to his mother just a few days after her marriage. He is rather amused to find that his mother had a lover. He feels sorry for her that she could not marry the man she loved. He wondered a great deal about it. The mother, on her part, too, realizes that the letter has been read by Amit. Her dilemma can only be understood if one knows about middle-class Bengali families. It is one of those 'Hamletian' situations– ''to be or not to be.'' She knows that the letter is meant for Amit's father and not for her. A catch-22 situation. If she remains silent about the letter, her reputation is at stake. If she reveals the truth, it might disturb her son. She wants to protect her son and the honor of her dead husband, even though she herself is not at all responsible for her late husband's secrets. However, she feels utterly responsible.
This part of the story is my favorite. It reveals how cloying cultures and traditions can be, how deeply entrenched they are, and how they shape life through everyday rituals.
The book also in some roundabout way reflects on ideas of home, family, love, globalization, culture– all hinged to the novel's central theme 'sexuality.'
One of the high points of this story explores the situation of married women in Indian society. Accidentally, one day Amit finds a letter that someone has written to his mother just a few days after her marriage. He is rather amused to find that his mother had a lover. He feels sorry for her that she could not marry the man she loved. He wondered a great deal about it. The mother, on her part, too, realizes that the letter has been read by Amit. Her dilemma can only be understood if one knows about middle-class Bengali families. It is one of those 'Hamletian' situations– ''to be or not to be.'' She knows that the letter is meant for Amit's father and not for her. A catch-22 situation. If she remains silent about the letter, her reputation is at stake. If she reveals the truth, it might disturb her son. She wants to protect her son and the honor of her dead husband, even though she herself is not at all responsible for her late husband's secrets. However, she feels utterly responsible.
This part of the story is my favorite. It reveals how cloying cultures and traditions can be, how deeply entrenched they are, and how they shape life through everyday rituals.
The book also in some roundabout way reflects on ideas of home, family, love, globalization, culture– all hinged to the novel's central theme 'sexuality.'
July 29, 2017
Beautiful book! Stunning writing! Emotional, poignant, each story so absolutely perfect. Loved it!
May 25, 2016
Roy's debut novel, subtitled 'A novel in stories' is just that. Twelve discreet stories about the Mitra family of Calcutta, and later California, that together form an indelible portrait of one family's struggles and secrets. Told in non-chronological fashion, which I initially found a bit odd, these are beautifully written stories, each a small gem. Can't wait to read more of Roy's writing. And wish they'd make a film version, with the inimitable Kirron Kher playing Romola!
March 27, 2015
It makes me smile in wonder that an unconventional story about a closeted gay Indian man, his wife and son begins and ends in Carbondale, a small southern Illinois university town where my daughter went to college. I believe I read that the author attended college there; small world. This may be the only time that SIU-Carbondale was the site of a novel, and an Indian novel, at that.
September 20, 2015
Read in August 2015
Twelve interconnected stories, zigzagging adroitly back and forth over three generations and across two continents. Varied settings - a shabby apartment in a university town, a McDonald's drive-thru, a deserted suburban park, a hair saloon. Formative experiences, guilty secrets and startling discoveries. Characters handled with tenderness - allowed their share of pettiness, but also their indulgences and limited freedoms.
An exceedingly assured debut that everyone could do with a taste of. 4.5 stars.
Twelve interconnected stories, zigzagging adroitly back and forth over three generations and across two continents. Varied settings - a shabby apartment in a university town, a McDonald's drive-thru, a deserted suburban park, a hair saloon. Formative experiences, guilty secrets and startling discoveries. Characters handled with tenderness - allowed their share of pettiness, but also their indulgences and limited freedoms.
An exceedingly assured debut that everyone could do with a taste of. 4.5 stars.
June 7, 2021
Exquisite prose.
September 28, 2021
I picked this book up while browsing the shelves of the Crossword bookstore at City Centre, Siliguri. I am always on the lookout for good contemporary, family-based fiction by Indian writers, and the simple white cover, the intriguing blurb, and the praise by renowned writers attracted me. Moreover, the fact that this one was based on family secrets—a theme I am attempting in my next book—convinced me to give this a shot.
The story is about three individuals—Romola, Avinash, and Amit—their secrets, and the sacrifices they make in the quest of suppressing their inner desires. Ranging from Calcutta to the US, it is a multi-generational, multi-faceted saga.
The story starts with Amit telling his mother Romola about a love letter written by Avinash’s friend, Sumit, which he discovered while going through his late father’s belongings. Amit innocently assumes that Sumit had had an affair with Romola, but only she knows the secret she has hidden in the deepest recesses of her heart, a secret she must carry with her until her grave.
The plot shifts from past to present seamlessly, without confusing the reader. I loved how the author has beautifully etched the characters by showing their development from childhood to adulthood, using delightful anecdotes.
The story about Amit’s great grandmother and her love for pickles, her relationship with Romola, and its effect on Amit was adorable. The history of Avinash with the barber and the realization of his sexual preference were again interesting. Romola’s childhood and her affair with the movie star was also a heart-warming story.
The only thing I felt was that a majority of the book focuses on the past. It would have been better if there were more emphasis on the present as well, especially from Avinash’s perspective. I feel parts of his story were missing. On the other hand, Amit and Romola are well developed.
I didn’t like Amit. He was quite unlikable for most parts of the book, although he redeems himself a bit in the last few pages. However, Romola was an excellent character. Despite her flaws, I felt for her. I was invested in her journey and her emotional growth throughout the book.
The ending is dark but still decent enough. However, it could have been better.
The language is classy throughout—lucid, with a nice topping of metaphors and similes every now and then. Although the editing is good, I did spot a few inconsistencies in the use of punctuations.
The descriptions are excellent, and I could picture every scene as if it were happening right before my eyes. Also, the descriptions of food made my mouth water. The inclusion of food and cultural references adds a completely new dimension to any narrative. You expect good descriptions in a critically acclaimed literary fiction, and I was not disappointed.
Overall, Don’t Let Him Know is a well-written contemporary fiction based on family and secrets and is a must-read for all types of fiction lovers.
The story is about three individuals—Romola, Avinash, and Amit—their secrets, and the sacrifices they make in the quest of suppressing their inner desires. Ranging from Calcutta to the US, it is a multi-generational, multi-faceted saga.
The story starts with Amit telling his mother Romola about a love letter written by Avinash’s friend, Sumit, which he discovered while going through his late father’s belongings. Amit innocently assumes that Sumit had had an affair with Romola, but only she knows the secret she has hidden in the deepest recesses of her heart, a secret she must carry with her until her grave.
The plot shifts from past to present seamlessly, without confusing the reader. I loved how the author has beautifully etched the characters by showing their development from childhood to adulthood, using delightful anecdotes.
The story about Amit’s great grandmother and her love for pickles, her relationship with Romola, and its effect on Amit was adorable. The history of Avinash with the barber and the realization of his sexual preference were again interesting. Romola’s childhood and her affair with the movie star was also a heart-warming story.
The only thing I felt was that a majority of the book focuses on the past. It would have been better if there were more emphasis on the present as well, especially from Avinash’s perspective. I feel parts of his story were missing. On the other hand, Amit and Romola are well developed.
I didn’t like Amit. He was quite unlikable for most parts of the book, although he redeems himself a bit in the last few pages. However, Romola was an excellent character. Despite her flaws, I felt for her. I was invested in her journey and her emotional growth throughout the book.
The ending is dark but still decent enough. However, it could have been better.
The language is classy throughout—lucid, with a nice topping of metaphors and similes every now and then. Although the editing is good, I did spot a few inconsistencies in the use of punctuations.
The descriptions are excellent, and I could picture every scene as if it were happening right before my eyes. Also, the descriptions of food made my mouth water. The inclusion of food and cultural references adds a completely new dimension to any narrative. You expect good descriptions in a critically acclaimed literary fiction, and I was not disappointed.
Overall, Don’t Let Him Know is a well-written contemporary fiction based on family and secrets and is a must-read for all types of fiction lovers.
May 19, 2015
Don’t Let Him Know is Sandip Roy’s debut novel in stories. Each chapter stands on its own, but they come together in a tour de force of this structure to tell a story of three generations, reaching from old Calcutta to chilly Carbondale to sunny California.
She watched a lonely matchstick of a fry sitting in a smear of ketchup.
The three main characters are Avinash, a closeted gay Calcuttan, his sharp and dreaming wife Romola, and their son Amit. Each is nuanced and real, leaping off the page without sensationalism or gimmick. Their stories, secret or spoken, are told with a light and poignant touch.
Avinash would stare at the thickets of grey hair growing out of [the barber] Nripati-babu’s ears and see his own black hair tumbling down over the black newsprint as if the letters themselves were being uprooted.
Roy’s sense of place is wonderful. Calcutta, Carbondale, and California are vividly presented. I could feel the very atmosphere of each. For example, this simple, lovely description of Carbondale at Christmas is especially resonant considering New York’s arctic winters of late:
The snow had covered all the cars parked on the street turning them into ghostly cartoon shapes, their sharp edges rounded and softened.
And this scene set in Calcutta is ripe and rich:
The sides of their little market street were piled high with winter vegetables—stubby carrots and cabbages and cauliflowers, some no bigger than a clenched fist, others as large as footballs. Women sold them squatting on the pavements, their saris hitched up around their knees, silver blades flashing in the sun like steely minnows as they lopped off the leaves and threw them casually in the gutter.
The story, “The Right Thing to Do,” broke my heart, as Amit struggles with whether to bring Romola, his stricken, widowed mother back with him to America. But it’s the seamless combining of stories that makes this book, even as the chapters jump around in time and space. It’s hard to talk about the myriad familial themes in Don’t Let Him Know without sounding like a movie trailer: money and marriage, love and longing, ambition and fate. But it’s all there, seen through the lens of these often thwarted lives.
“If I am never to see you again, what use this flood of moonlight except to drown in.”
There’s a beautiful scene that ends the story, Ring of Spices, where Romola upon finding out the secret of her husband’s gay past, is overcome with despair and homesickness. She soundlessly chants the names of spices, and each time she repeats them, an English name turns to its Bengali equivalent, as if these will protect her from her desolation.
Turmeric, coriander, methi …
Turmeric, dhoney, methi …
Holud, dhoney, methi …
My to-read list is filled with “the cool books,” the authors to read, and it’s such a pleasure to find a book that’s all that, and one I’m eager to pick up each time I have to put it down. I finished Don’t Let Him Know in three days. It’s a fantastic debut, and I look forward to more.
She watched a lonely matchstick of a fry sitting in a smear of ketchup.
The three main characters are Avinash, a closeted gay Calcuttan, his sharp and dreaming wife Romola, and their son Amit. Each is nuanced and real, leaping off the page without sensationalism or gimmick. Their stories, secret or spoken, are told with a light and poignant touch.
Avinash would stare at the thickets of grey hair growing out of [the barber] Nripati-babu’s ears and see his own black hair tumbling down over the black newsprint as if the letters themselves were being uprooted.
Roy’s sense of place is wonderful. Calcutta, Carbondale, and California are vividly presented. I could feel the very atmosphere of each. For example, this simple, lovely description of Carbondale at Christmas is especially resonant considering New York’s arctic winters of late:
The snow had covered all the cars parked on the street turning them into ghostly cartoon shapes, their sharp edges rounded and softened.
And this scene set in Calcutta is ripe and rich:
The sides of their little market street were piled high with winter vegetables—stubby carrots and cabbages and cauliflowers, some no bigger than a clenched fist, others as large as footballs. Women sold them squatting on the pavements, their saris hitched up around their knees, silver blades flashing in the sun like steely minnows as they lopped off the leaves and threw them casually in the gutter.
The story, “The Right Thing to Do,” broke my heart, as Amit struggles with whether to bring Romola, his stricken, widowed mother back with him to America. But it’s the seamless combining of stories that makes this book, even as the chapters jump around in time and space. It’s hard to talk about the myriad familial themes in Don’t Let Him Know without sounding like a movie trailer: money and marriage, love and longing, ambition and fate. But it’s all there, seen through the lens of these often thwarted lives.
“If I am never to see you again, what use this flood of moonlight except to drown in.”
There’s a beautiful scene that ends the story, Ring of Spices, where Romola upon finding out the secret of her husband’s gay past, is overcome with despair and homesickness. She soundlessly chants the names of spices, and each time she repeats them, an English name turns to its Bengali equivalent, as if these will protect her from her desolation.
Turmeric, coriander, methi …
Turmeric, dhoney, methi …
Holud, dhoney, methi …
My to-read list is filled with “the cool books,” the authors to read, and it’s such a pleasure to find a book that’s all that, and one I’m eager to pick up each time I have to put it down. I finished Don’t Let Him Know in three days. It’s a fantastic debut, and I look forward to more.
Read
October 21, 2014In DON'T LET HIM KNOW, Sandip Roy finds the hidden pockets within ordinary moments--a visit to McDonalds, a boy's first haircut, a trip to the store for chutney ingredients--and deftly turns them out to reveal the secrets the Mitras have concealed for years. The result is a moving portrait of the loves and longings of a family split: between India and America, between past and present, and between duty and dreams.
June 15, 2021
Boring. Who called this funny? Why?
Typical stories! Very much skippable.
I am shocked that no blurb had any trigger warnings for one of the graphical stories in the book.
Typical stories! Very much skippable.
I am shocked that no blurb had any trigger warnings for one of the graphical stories in the book.
March 31, 2020
Amit finds a letter written decades ago by Sumit who is childhood friend of his deceased father Avinash. Amit enquires his mother, Romola about the letter and relationship between her and Sumit. But Romola stays tight lipped. Thereby Amit comes to a conclusion that Sumit was Romola's ex love and it had been kept as a secret of her life. But what Amit discerns as a 'secret' has another fact which is not known to anyone except Romola.
🌾
Life need not requisitely be an open book to everyone , some hidden pages do exist. Sometimes desire overpowers virtue and takes hold of the situation, finally leading to actions done on a whim without any hesitation ; and decisions made hastily without thinking twice. Then the fear of aftermath consequences instigates an urge to tear those pages from life deliberately, crush them, ball them and throw them away, far enough so that no one would stumble upon it and open & read those crumpled& distorted piece of life.
🌾
This book is a string of such 'torn' pages in the lives of Avinash, Romola and Amit.
Avinash's emotional turmoil on his sexual complications which he could not share with anyone; Romola's other side of her face which she never shows to the compromised world which she is swaddled in; Amit's childhood blunders committed in innocence & now his reluctance in taking his widowed mother with him to America , all these surfacing the 'unknown' quirks of trio.
🌾
The author Sandip Roy needs special mention and appreciation. How incredibly has he written! His lyrical& metaphorical writing and picturesque detailing has emphasized all three grimy personalities. It was indeed an interesting, intriguing and enthralling read. This book does not have an usual structured plot line and there are a few negligible loose ends. After reading this book, one would wonder whether there are any such memories of one's life that were stashed deep inside the crevices of brain!!!
🌾
Life need not requisitely be an open book to everyone , some hidden pages do exist. Sometimes desire overpowers virtue and takes hold of the situation, finally leading to actions done on a whim without any hesitation ; and decisions made hastily without thinking twice. Then the fear of aftermath consequences instigates an urge to tear those pages from life deliberately, crush them, ball them and throw them away, far enough so that no one would stumble upon it and open & read those crumpled& distorted piece of life.
🌾
This book is a string of such 'torn' pages in the lives of Avinash, Romola and Amit.
Avinash's emotional turmoil on his sexual complications which he could not share with anyone; Romola's other side of her face which she never shows to the compromised world which she is swaddled in; Amit's childhood blunders committed in innocence & now his reluctance in taking his widowed mother with him to America , all these surfacing the 'unknown' quirks of trio.
🌾
The author Sandip Roy needs special mention and appreciation. How incredibly has he written! His lyrical& metaphorical writing and picturesque detailing has emphasized all three grimy personalities. It was indeed an interesting, intriguing and enthralling read. This book does not have an usual structured plot line and there are a few negligible loose ends. After reading this book, one would wonder whether there are any such memories of one's life that were stashed deep inside the crevices of brain!!!
March 23, 2016
I am familiar with Sandip Roy’s columns as I’m a frequent reader of FirstPost, the web based daily newspaper. However, even though his name was familiar, I had no idea that the author of “Don’t Let Him Know” is the same Sandip Roy as the columnist of FirstPost. I became curious, when I came across one of those lists in some magazine or the other (I think it was Open) mentioning this book as one of the “most awaited books of the year”. The plot outline mentioned in the same magazine suggested a story spanning some 30 – 40 years in the life of a Bengali family based out of Calcutta, with events happening in America and Calcutta that seems to “change the lives of the characters forever”. Nothing very original except it seemed somewhere, that gay sexuality plays a fairly prominent role and I was curious to find out how.
I finished reading the book yesterday. And though I had misgivings about the narrative style, (of which I have very personal likes and dislikes), I found myself able to finish reading the book in two days (helped in no small measure by a business tour to Dubai which can be a very boring place over a week end…..malls, malls and more malls). The story is strung together in chapters, some of which can be considered complete stories by themselves. Sandip does not provide readers with a specific geographic location in Calcutta that is inhabited by his characters, except for occasional tangential mentions, something which I as a one time resident of Calcutta found disconcerting, but which, in all fairness, may be irrelevant to readers belonging to other cities. However, strangely, he doesn’t follow this in his descriptions of city streets in U.S. Since the characters are all Bengali and a major part of the narrative takes place in Calcutta, I found this a little strange. But this is really not a criticism but more of a personal observation. I like pin pointing locations of characters in stories that take place in familiar surroundings.
I read somewhere, perhaps again in Open, about a comment made by Sandip Roy in Jaipur Literary Festival, that in India, the entire family of a gay member goes inside the closet. “Don’t Let Him Know” it would seem is built on this premise. It is the story of Romola, newly married to Avinash, who is doing his Ph.D in U.S., stumbles upon the secret that her husband is gay. She keeps this secret to herself and goes about her married life managing a joint family of a mother-in-law, a grand-mother-in-law, husband and son as efficiently as any normal housewife. She is one of those women who never falters in her duty towards her family. There are some sensitive scenes where Avinash meets his lover of one time Sumeet and silently acknowledges the betrayal that Sumeet felt on learning Avinash’s marriage and how both accept the fact that they will continue to lead of life of falsehood because there is no other way.
However, what I missed learning was how Romola lived through this betrayal for 35 – 40 years of her life. We are left wondering whether the intensity of such betrayals (any betrayals for that matter) becomes faint over the ages where it finally ceases to matter. Is it possible? Doesn’t it explode behind the closed doors of the bedroom at least? I wonder. We also don’t get a glimpse into the mind of Avinash. Except for a horrible experience, that I presume a lot of gay people in our country may have to go through, I don’t get to see the pain. And he must be in horrible pain. How can the story of these two individuals each in their own pain and misery, continue to lead a life of such normalcy? I understand, that this is the irony. But I had expected that Sandip will lift the veil and allow us a glimpse. I was most disappointed when he did not.
I have a problem in stories and films with gay themes, where the film maker or the author feels a compelling need to allow one of its principle characters reach a plane of reconciliation as a denouement. I have a feeling, it serves to provide the viewers / readers with a feel good factor. I had a similar feeling after watching “Memories in March” and the same feeling after reading the final chapter of this book. The chapter itself is written very well. But I had a feeling, that it has somehow been tacked on, that it is not part of the organic whole. Without any visibility in the mind of Romola on how she actually views homo sexuality her pain, revulsion etc., except at the instance of the discovery (that pain is very well depicted a kind of primal foetal pain), her easy acceptance of the situation (admittedly aided in no small measure by alcohol) did not ring true. And therein probably lies the problem. There is an attempt to string these chapters together to form the core of a single narrative, but the narrative at times becomes uneven. It succeeds when depicting the life of Amit’s childhood days. But a lot of his life in U.S. can be left out without anything amiss. The parts where Amit’s pain and dilemma about whether to take his mother with him to U.S. rings very true. However, Avinash’s gay experience is a stand-alone story, though written very well. I loved the chapter on Romola’s experience with McDonald’s.
I finished reading the book yesterday. And though I had misgivings about the narrative style, (of which I have very personal likes and dislikes), I found myself able to finish reading the book in two days (helped in no small measure by a business tour to Dubai which can be a very boring place over a week end…..malls, malls and more malls). The story is strung together in chapters, some of which can be considered complete stories by themselves. Sandip does not provide readers with a specific geographic location in Calcutta that is inhabited by his characters, except for occasional tangential mentions, something which I as a one time resident of Calcutta found disconcerting, but which, in all fairness, may be irrelevant to readers belonging to other cities. However, strangely, he doesn’t follow this in his descriptions of city streets in U.S. Since the characters are all Bengali and a major part of the narrative takes place in Calcutta, I found this a little strange. But this is really not a criticism but more of a personal observation. I like pin pointing locations of characters in stories that take place in familiar surroundings.
I read somewhere, perhaps again in Open, about a comment made by Sandip Roy in Jaipur Literary Festival, that in India, the entire family of a gay member goes inside the closet. “Don’t Let Him Know” it would seem is built on this premise. It is the story of Romola, newly married to Avinash, who is doing his Ph.D in U.S., stumbles upon the secret that her husband is gay. She keeps this secret to herself and goes about her married life managing a joint family of a mother-in-law, a grand-mother-in-law, husband and son as efficiently as any normal housewife. She is one of those women who never falters in her duty towards her family. There are some sensitive scenes where Avinash meets his lover of one time Sumeet and silently acknowledges the betrayal that Sumeet felt on learning Avinash’s marriage and how both accept the fact that they will continue to lead of life of falsehood because there is no other way.
However, what I missed learning was how Romola lived through this betrayal for 35 – 40 years of her life. We are left wondering whether the intensity of such betrayals (any betrayals for that matter) becomes faint over the ages where it finally ceases to matter. Is it possible? Doesn’t it explode behind the closed doors of the bedroom at least? I wonder. We also don’t get a glimpse into the mind of Avinash. Except for a horrible experience, that I presume a lot of gay people in our country may have to go through, I don’t get to see the pain. And he must be in horrible pain. How can the story of these two individuals each in their own pain and misery, continue to lead a life of such normalcy? I understand, that this is the irony. But I had expected that Sandip will lift the veil and allow us a glimpse. I was most disappointed when he did not.
I have a problem in stories and films with gay themes, where the film maker or the author feels a compelling need to allow one of its principle characters reach a plane of reconciliation as a denouement. I have a feeling, it serves to provide the viewers / readers with a feel good factor. I had a similar feeling after watching “Memories in March” and the same feeling after reading the final chapter of this book. The chapter itself is written very well. But I had a feeling, that it has somehow been tacked on, that it is not part of the organic whole. Without any visibility in the mind of Romola on how she actually views homo sexuality her pain, revulsion etc., except at the instance of the discovery (that pain is very well depicted a kind of primal foetal pain), her easy acceptance of the situation (admittedly aided in no small measure by alcohol) did not ring true. And therein probably lies the problem. There is an attempt to string these chapters together to form the core of a single narrative, but the narrative at times becomes uneven. It succeeds when depicting the life of Amit’s childhood days. But a lot of his life in U.S. can be left out without anything amiss. The parts where Amit’s pain and dilemma about whether to take his mother with him to U.S. rings very true. However, Avinash’s gay experience is a stand-alone story, though written very well. I loved the chapter on Romola’s experience with McDonald’s.
February 2, 2015
When a copy of 'Don't Let Him Know' appeared in my porch, quite unexpectedly, a few weeks ago, my first instinct was to put it to one side, thinking that it wasn't my kind of book. Curiosity though made me look at the book and I realised that it might be my kind of book after all, and that there was more than enough that was universal and timeless about the story for me to be happy to step into settings and periods that I rarely visit.
This is the story of a family, about the things that go unsaid or unacknowledged, about conflicting wishes and expectations, and about the consequences of all of that.
It opens in California, where Romola Mitra has lived quietly with her only son Amit, his American wife June and their young son Neel since her husband Avinash died a few years earlier. Romola didn't feel ready for that life, so far from her home in India, but she knew that she was lucky and she really didn't know what else she could do.
“Some days she wanted someone to say, ‘OK, you have followed the rules long enough. You are free now.’ But no one ever did.”
Amit found the last page of an old letter in his mother’s address book. He read words of love, and he took them to mean that Romola had loved and been loved by a man who was not her father. He encouraged her to look for that man, to find out what had happened to him.
He had no idea that those words had not been addressed to his mother. They had been addressed to his father, who had not had the courage to defy convention and stay in America with the man he loved; who had returned to Calcutta on the death of his father, to marry the girl his family had chosen, to follow the path set out for him as an only son.
The story moves pack into the past then, with each chapters telling the story of a significant moment that Romola or Avinash or Amit has never felt able to share. They weren't an unhappy family, but they weren't a happy family either; they were a family who played their roles and lived from day to day without ever talking about so many things.
Sandip Roy writes lovely, lyrical, readable prose, his observation is acute, and his characters are wonderfully engaging. I believed in them, in their relationships, in their situations. There is humour, there is sadness, there are so many human emotions threaded through these stories. Some are stronger than others, but they all work.
The human story is always to the fore, but each tale has something to say about the conflicting forces that underpin lives: tradition versus modernity; duty versus desire; the old world versus the new world.
Now I have a head full of images: a broken Mickey Mouse watch, a film star's funeral, jars of mango chutney hidden under a bed.
I also have memories of less tangible things: the strongest is of Amit's dislocation when he returned from America after his father's death, of his wish to do the best thing for his mother, and of his difficulty is balancing that with his wishes for his own life with his wife and child.
After that the story falls away a little, and the final act feels just a little contrived.
I have no context - I can't think when I last read any contemporary Indian writing - but I do think that as a whole the book works very well.
It makes me realise that, although there are lots of wonderful books in my comfort zone, I should probably step out of it a little more often on future.
This is the story of a family, about the things that go unsaid or unacknowledged, about conflicting wishes and expectations, and about the consequences of all of that.
It opens in California, where Romola Mitra has lived quietly with her only son Amit, his American wife June and their young son Neel since her husband Avinash died a few years earlier. Romola didn't feel ready for that life, so far from her home in India, but she knew that she was lucky and she really didn't know what else she could do.
“Some days she wanted someone to say, ‘OK, you have followed the rules long enough. You are free now.’ But no one ever did.”
Amit found the last page of an old letter in his mother’s address book. He read words of love, and he took them to mean that Romola had loved and been loved by a man who was not her father. He encouraged her to look for that man, to find out what had happened to him.
He had no idea that those words had not been addressed to his mother. They had been addressed to his father, who had not had the courage to defy convention and stay in America with the man he loved; who had returned to Calcutta on the death of his father, to marry the girl his family had chosen, to follow the path set out for him as an only son.
The story moves pack into the past then, with each chapters telling the story of a significant moment that Romola or Avinash or Amit has never felt able to share. They weren't an unhappy family, but they weren't a happy family either; they were a family who played their roles and lived from day to day without ever talking about so many things.
Sandip Roy writes lovely, lyrical, readable prose, his observation is acute, and his characters are wonderfully engaging. I believed in them, in their relationships, in their situations. There is humour, there is sadness, there are so many human emotions threaded through these stories. Some are stronger than others, but they all work.
The human story is always to the fore, but each tale has something to say about the conflicting forces that underpin lives: tradition versus modernity; duty versus desire; the old world versus the new world.
Now I have a head full of images: a broken Mickey Mouse watch, a film star's funeral, jars of mango chutney hidden under a bed.
I also have memories of less tangible things: the strongest is of Amit's dislocation when he returned from America after his father's death, of his wish to do the best thing for his mother, and of his difficulty is balancing that with his wishes for his own life with his wife and child.
After that the story falls away a little, and the final act feels just a little contrived.
I have no context - I can't think when I last read any contemporary Indian writing - but I do think that as a whole the book works very well.
It makes me realise that, although there are lots of wonderful books in my comfort zone, I should probably step out of it a little more often on future.
October 12, 2019
I'd give the book a 3.5 rating if that was possible. Only because somehow the writing style wasn't as finessed as it could have been and my 4* rating usually goes to something that has that extraordinary effect on me. Either in content or the way the narrative is constructed. This book has a concept that I did love. I also enjoyed the non linear construct. The chapters all read as stand alone stories and that worked well too, the way they all added up... each feeling like another layer you were peeling off to know the primary characters better, getting to look into their unshared pasts.
I expected the last chapter to unfold the most special secret of them all. There was a little bit of a let down that it didn't. But the very last sentence made it breathtaking. It will stay in my mind as a book I won't forget easily simply for the thought that last sentence leaves you with. Because, who among us isn't hoping someday to be rescued.
I expected the last chapter to unfold the most special secret of them all. There was a little bit of a let down that it didn't. But the very last sentence made it breathtaking. It will stay in my mind as a book I won't forget easily simply for the thought that last sentence leaves you with. Because, who among us isn't hoping someday to be rescued.
May 22, 2015
This book caught my attention and kept it. The writing is quite good. And I liked the "stories in novel" form as it provided insights into the main characters. Each was presented in a sympathetic way and enabled to understand their actions.
My one complaint is that the issue of shame (related to the father, Avinash, a closeted gay man) stuck and never was resolved. It remained the secret that was hidden and festered, and there was nothing hopeful or uplifting about it. And while that may be the case too often, I wish it wasn't so. And certainly, I wish a book didn't promote this unhealthy response.
I've also grown very tired of books with gay characters and one of them dies in the end.
My one complaint is that the issue of shame (related to the father, Avinash, a closeted gay man) stuck and never was resolved. It remained the secret that was hidden and festered, and there was nothing hopeful or uplifting about it. And while that may be the case too often, I wish it wasn't so. And certainly, I wish a book didn't promote this unhealthy response.
I've also grown very tired of books with gay characters and one of them dies in the end.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 6, 2018
Disappointing. The book stats with lots of promise. A young woman in India has an arranged marriage to a man that she soon finds out to have had a gay lover. They move to America, have indifferent sex, and move back to India. There is no exploration of what it means or what it looks like to be in a marriage with a secret. The book moves back and forth in time. At one point, after many years of marriage we learn that before marriage she had dated a man who later became a major Bollywood star. He has just died and she fights crowds to go to his house to try to see the body. Great detail about this scene, which is unrelated to anything else in the book. It never gets inside the characters, and because it is a compilation of short stories, there is no overall storyline.
July 16, 2015
I want to give it 2.5 stars because, on the one hand, it was a very easy read, with nothing of the pretentiousness a lot of literary fiction falls prey to. However, there was a lot of promise that it didn't deliver on. I enjoyed the back-and-forth narrative style, but couldn't really get a sense of what the whole point was. I wasn't able to find a thread that held the entire novel together; it felt like a colllection of events in the lives of people connected by family ties. I'd picked this book up intrigued by the promise of the exploration of sexuality, but there wasn't much exploration at all. I'm sure I'd have enjoyed it a lot more if I hadn't read the blurb!
February 26, 2016
Really enjoyed these connected (sorta) short stories. Liked most these brief but intense looks into the lives of these characters. Well-written and a very engaging read. Went into this thinking its a novel but this is most certainly a collection of short stories.
May 10, 2016
Beautiful novel told with well-crafted interconnected short stories. Highly recommended.
June 24, 2020
A family portrait, with countless secrets hidden among the brush strokes, 'Don't Let Him Know' is a story that poses a very essential question- should you own your sexuality and stand against everyone you love? It's easier to answer this question in the 21st century but back in the days (where this novel is set), it was often impossible to come out as a member of the LGBTQ community. Throw in some family drama and you have yourself an unbearable life.
Avinash and Romola are married and live in America, where Avinash is pursuing his Ph.D. A letter arrives and Romola is the one to open it, the contents forcing her to make a decision that will either save her marriage or destroy everything she holds dear. Years later, her son Amit reminds her of this letter, taking her back to days of her life in America as a new bride and then in Kolkata.
What's interesting about this story is that we have perspectives from all the characters- Avinash, hiding his sexuality but also craving for some manly touch, Romola, saving her marriage through well-guarded secrets and Amit, his life as a child and later as an adult who visits homes after his father's death only to be asked again and again if his mother is now his responsibility. Hidden between everyday moments are these memories these characters hold dear, returning to them on a dark, restless night.
Roy gives us a typical Indian household, with its beliefs and superstitions, dreams and aspirations that have to be according to social standards and the psychological pressure of a life where each emotion is guarded so the perfect balance of things isn't disrupted. The writing is rich with experiences, overladen with a keen understanding of a community, be it Kolkata, Carbondale or California. Compassionate, intricate, and poignant, 'Don't Let Him Know' is a book that is a perfect read for #pridemonth.
Avinash and Romola are married and live in America, where Avinash is pursuing his Ph.D. A letter arrives and Romola is the one to open it, the contents forcing her to make a decision that will either save her marriage or destroy everything she holds dear. Years later, her son Amit reminds her of this letter, taking her back to days of her life in America as a new bride and then in Kolkata.
What's interesting about this story is that we have perspectives from all the characters- Avinash, hiding his sexuality but also craving for some manly touch, Romola, saving her marriage through well-guarded secrets and Amit, his life as a child and later as an adult who visits homes after his father's death only to be asked again and again if his mother is now his responsibility. Hidden between everyday moments are these memories these characters hold dear, returning to them on a dark, restless night.
Roy gives us a typical Indian household, with its beliefs and superstitions, dreams and aspirations that have to be according to social standards and the psychological pressure of a life where each emotion is guarded so the perfect balance of things isn't disrupted. The writing is rich with experiences, overladen with a keen understanding of a community, be it Kolkata, Carbondale or California. Compassionate, intricate, and poignant, 'Don't Let Him Know' is a book that is a perfect read for #pridemonth.
June 8, 2021
Going back and forth between USA and India, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, the author weaves a beautiful story that I could not help but give a full five stars.
The story begins in San Francisco with Romola visiting her son Amit, after his father, Avinash's death. But, the journey starts with a letter from someone called Sumit, that Amit finds in his mother's old diary.
Who is this Sumit? Amit thinks he must have been his mother's lover from the contents of the letter, but the reality could not have been been further from the truth. Will Romola actually let Amit know about it or, as the title might suggest, she'll keep the secret to herself?
As a Bengali myself, I was afraid of the typical stereotype of fish loving, Rabindra-sangeet singing people being put forward, but I must say, the author fortunately did not go deep down that lane. The story oscillates between Calcutta's, not Kolkata's, old charm, and San Francisco's fast paced life.
There are a lot of characters involved, but I never felt confused for once. Maybe, because the names are familiar to me or it can also be, and probably is due to the way they are written. The timeline is not linear but it creates a perfect nexus.
It is the story of a married Indian woman (Romola), her gay husband (Avinash), who could never pursue his own desires because he put his family first; and their son Amit. It is also a story about how a childhood in Calcutta and an adult life in USA changes you as a person. At last, but not the least, it is a story about compassion, compromise, familial love, personal space, and the fact that as a society, we have failed in so many aspects, which no one bothers to discuss.
The story begins in San Francisco with Romola visiting her son Amit, after his father, Avinash's death. But, the journey starts with a letter from someone called Sumit, that Amit finds in his mother's old diary.
Who is this Sumit? Amit thinks he must have been his mother's lover from the contents of the letter, but the reality could not have been been further from the truth. Will Romola actually let Amit know about it or, as the title might suggest, she'll keep the secret to herself?
As a Bengali myself, I was afraid of the typical stereotype of fish loving, Rabindra-sangeet singing people being put forward, but I must say, the author fortunately did not go deep down that lane. The story oscillates between Calcutta's, not Kolkata's, old charm, and San Francisco's fast paced life.
There are a lot of characters involved, but I never felt confused for once. Maybe, because the names are familiar to me or it can also be, and probably is due to the way they are written. The timeline is not linear but it creates a perfect nexus.
It is the story of a married Indian woman (Romola), her gay husband (Avinash), who could never pursue his own desires because he put his family first; and their son Amit. It is also a story about how a childhood in Calcutta and an adult life in USA changes you as a person. At last, but not the least, it is a story about compassion, compromise, familial love, personal space, and the fact that as a society, we have failed in so many aspects, which no one bothers to discuss.
June 6, 2017
This is one of the more emotionally devastating novels I've read. Though told in the third person, with chapters about her husband and son, this is clearly Romola's story. A Bengali woman born and raised in India, she accompanies her husband Avinash to a college town in the United States, where she has difficulty adjusting to the American way of life and accidentally stumbles onto her husband's secret. They return to India after Avinash finishes his education, have their son Amit (who eventually goes to the US himself to become a computer engineer), and remain in Calcutta, where Romola feels forgotten, her life mostly at the whim of others. I loved Sandip Roy's simple prose, and the "novel in short stories" format is mostly effective, but I felt that there were many plot developments that begged to be expanded. I'm okay with unresolved endings, but I wanted to know more about how certain events came to pass. For example, why was Romola able to so easily persuade Avinash to return to India? How did Avinash cope and move on from the terrible act of violence he experienced? I also wish there was more about Avinash's relationship with his childhood friend Sumit. Still, Roy has created well-developed, believable characters who have to deal with incredibly tough situations. I highly recommend this book.
June 30, 2018
A more "conventional" read for me, perhaps, I thoroughly enjoyed this bittersweet tale about the secrets we keep. Set in Calcutta and California, this is the kind of LGBTQ story that resonates even if my own experience is very different. A queer life dominated by a need to hide and a failure to find release and connection the way one longs for is not simply a story of the past.
And expanded review can be found here: https://roughghosts.com/2018/06/30/of...
And expanded review can be found here: https://roughghosts.com/2018/06/30/of...
April 29, 2021
4 1/2 stars. This was a beautiful book. I’m not a big fan of short stories but each story was very much interconnected and overall flowed like a novel. Highly recommended.
June 22, 2020
A perfect example of a contemporary Indian writing, Sandip Roy’s Don’t Let Him Know is all about relationships and how every one of us compromise every day to nurture these relationships. The story is set in US and India and showcases three different generations, their lifestyle, and their approach towards life in general, their expectations and the consequences of their actions.
The book tells you that life need not be an open book, everyone has got secrets, but some secrets are better kept than said for happy and healthy relationships. A story where husband is gay, wife even after coincidently finding the truth, chooses to stay mum, and the son, the only heir of the family, who wants to live life on his own terms. It’s a beautiful bouquet of these three characters and how few incidents in their lives shape up their futures. The story spans many years and jumps back and forth in time, but it never loses the flavor. At some point you might feel unfinished though I.e. some finding don’t have an explanation to them but overall an amazing projection of how Indian household, the tradition, the culture usually works.
The story is just beautiful and there is no other way to put it. It is an easy breezy read and a quick one too. You can easily finish this off in one sitting. This is one of those books that might not look or sound compelling but definitely leaves a mark for life.
The book tells you that life need not be an open book, everyone has got secrets, but some secrets are better kept than said for happy and healthy relationships. A story where husband is gay, wife even after coincidently finding the truth, chooses to stay mum, and the son, the only heir of the family, who wants to live life on his own terms. It’s a beautiful bouquet of these three characters and how few incidents in their lives shape up their futures. The story spans many years and jumps back and forth in time, but it never loses the flavor. At some point you might feel unfinished though I.e. some finding don’t have an explanation to them but overall an amazing projection of how Indian household, the tradition, the culture usually works.
The story is just beautiful and there is no other way to put it. It is an easy breezy read and a quick one too. You can easily finish this off in one sitting. This is one of those books that might not look or sound compelling but definitely leaves a mark for life.
April 19, 2021
I finished reading this delight of a novel and I cannot complement Sandip enough on writing it so well.
Sandip has lovingly crafted the characters so that I empathized with every single one. Their thoughts and desires have been brought forth in excruciating details with the kind and gentle brush of the author. This is the kind of book which I categorize as "unputdownable" even in the middle of a work week.
Every nuance in this tale about three generations and their secrets led me into a maze of complex emotions. I felt both sad and elated when Romola, now a widow, is shown the last page of long forgotten letter by her son. A letter that exposes tantalizing secrets which mother and son interpret differently. One is drawn into the novel right from the pages of Chapter 1 as surely as if one were pushed into a quagmire by a gentle but firm hand. There, seems to mean the hand, you had better go in and explore the kaleidoscope of events and feelings. You, the reader, will surely come out both jubilant and pensive as you turn the last page of this novel.
According to me, this book is a *must read*!
Sandip has lovingly crafted the characters so that I empathized with every single one. Their thoughts and desires have been brought forth in excruciating details with the kind and gentle brush of the author. This is the kind of book which I categorize as "unputdownable" even in the middle of a work week.
Every nuance in this tale about three generations and their secrets led me into a maze of complex emotions. I felt both sad and elated when Romola, now a widow, is shown the last page of long forgotten letter by her son. A letter that exposes tantalizing secrets which mother and son interpret differently. One is drawn into the novel right from the pages of Chapter 1 as surely as if one were pushed into a quagmire by a gentle but firm hand. There, seems to mean the hand, you had better go in and explore the kaleidoscope of events and feelings. You, the reader, will surely come out both jubilant and pensive as you turn the last page of this novel.
According to me, this book is a *must read*!
March 13, 2016
The paper was almost translucent with age, but the handwriting was still clear, the ink Royal Blue. She recognized it with a jolt, even though it had been almost four decades. - Romola, Don't Let Him Know
Since most of its initial chapters were published as a stand alone, Don't Let Him Know by Sandip Roy stands out as a collection of short stories embedded in a classic manner into a whole novel. The story is divided among two generations of a family, Romola, and Avinash and their only son, Amit.
Romola and Avinash are recently married, living in Northern California so that Avinash can finish his graduation. Romola tries her best to settle down in a foreign country but gives up the day a letter arrives. A letter which she thought was from her home, but was intended for Avinash.
Couldn't you have waited longer? Or did you feel, since whatever we had was a secret anyway, we could just carry on as before? Hadn't we promised to be together, the world be damned?- Sumit
Avinash and Romola then go back to India, to live in their family home in Calcutta where both carry on with their life and upbringing their son, Amit. Romola keeps Avinash's secret deep in her heart, never questioning him about his past, never accusing him of ruining her life. A day comes when she even meets Sumit, but never she loses her cool.
After 40 years, Amit finds out that letter and questions Ramola, but will she able to uncover the truth in front of him, something which she never wanted him to know?
Don't Let Him Know is a like a rosary, each bead telling its own story. Each character, Amit, Avinash and Romola have their own past which they have hardly shared with their loved ones. Romola once had an illicit affair with actor Subir Kumar, Avinash had his first love encounter with a barber by the name of Sultan. Even Amit's great grandmother hides mango chutney under her mattresses so that Romola doesn't take it away from her..Sandeep's impeccable writing has brought out the best of characters in this book. Since each character has kept their past float, they keep on meeting turbulences in their current life..
Don't Let Him Know works like a background story. The story starts with the time when Amit asks Romola about the letter and then Romola reminiscing about the time when she married Avinash and came to know about his dark secret. The story line is smooth and pretty easy to grasp. Though the story is pretty engaging, you might want to take a break at some places. There are some chapters which you might want to skip, but then you will miss out on the essence of the book.
One of my favorite part of Don't Let Him Know was when Romola finally takes a break from being herself when she goes to a gay club and meets a Bangladeshi Cross Dresser.
"Some days, she wanted someone to say, 'Okay, you have followed the rules long enough. You are free now.' But no one ever did."
Don't Let Him Know is a story which hides many stories of its characters. It is a book that will pull a string at your heart, will raise some questions about the traditional society that we live in, and some insight into the life of future generation.. A book that you should definitely read to understand how secrets exist in the family, but at the surface, everything is calm.
Don't Let Him Know she liked them best,
for this must ever be
A secret kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Since most of its initial chapters were published as a stand alone, Don't Let Him Know by Sandip Roy stands out as a collection of short stories embedded in a classic manner into a whole novel. The story is divided among two generations of a family, Romola, and Avinash and their only son, Amit.
Romola and Avinash are recently married, living in Northern California so that Avinash can finish his graduation. Romola tries her best to settle down in a foreign country but gives up the day a letter arrives. A letter which she thought was from her home, but was intended for Avinash.
Couldn't you have waited longer? Or did you feel, since whatever we had was a secret anyway, we could just carry on as before? Hadn't we promised to be together, the world be damned?- Sumit
Avinash and Romola then go back to India, to live in their family home in Calcutta where both carry on with their life and upbringing their son, Amit. Romola keeps Avinash's secret deep in her heart, never questioning him about his past, never accusing him of ruining her life. A day comes when she even meets Sumit, but never she loses her cool.
After 40 years, Amit finds out that letter and questions Ramola, but will she able to uncover the truth in front of him, something which she never wanted him to know?
Don't Let Him Know is a like a rosary, each bead telling its own story. Each character, Amit, Avinash and Romola have their own past which they have hardly shared with their loved ones. Romola once had an illicit affair with actor Subir Kumar, Avinash had his first love encounter with a barber by the name of Sultan. Even Amit's great grandmother hides mango chutney under her mattresses so that Romola doesn't take it away from her..Sandeep's impeccable writing has brought out the best of characters in this book. Since each character has kept their past float, they keep on meeting turbulences in their current life..
Don't Let Him Know works like a background story. The story starts with the time when Amit asks Romola about the letter and then Romola reminiscing about the time when she married Avinash and came to know about his dark secret. The story line is smooth and pretty easy to grasp. Though the story is pretty engaging, you might want to take a break at some places. There are some chapters which you might want to skip, but then you will miss out on the essence of the book.
One of my favorite part of Don't Let Him Know was when Romola finally takes a break from being herself when she goes to a gay club and meets a Bangladeshi Cross Dresser.
"Some days, she wanted someone to say, 'Okay, you have followed the rules long enough. You are free now.' But no one ever did."
Don't Let Him Know is a story which hides many stories of its characters. It is a book that will pull a string at your heart, will raise some questions about the traditional society that we live in, and some insight into the life of future generation.. A book that you should definitely read to understand how secrets exist in the family, but at the surface, everything is calm.
Don't Let Him Know she liked them best,
for this must ever be
A secret kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.
- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
April 4, 2015
Doesn't really work. I was intrigued by the idea: a young man finds a letter in his mother's address book and thinks she had a passionate affair with someone else. What he doesn't know is that it's not his mother, but his father, who had hidden his sexuality from his wife. The son, Amit, is facing a new life of choices after seeing his marriage falter and decides it is time to change direction.
So starts the story of "Don't Let Him Know." It's the story of a family told in a series of stories, weaving back and forth between characters, storylines and time periods. While this is something that can work, I ultimately found it very frustrating. It's really a series of vignettes that simply don't allow for character development. We keep moving back and forth in time, but we miss a lot: how does wife and mother Romola feel about her husband having had an affair with a man? What about the cultural, familiar and societal pressures father and husband Avinash face? There is a little bit of this (Romola being very upset when she first reads the original letter, that Avinash had been told he had to get married and he went along with it, etc.), but I thought it was a great missed opportunity to further explore these themes.
It just was not enough. I thought the book started off really well, with Romola temporarily staying with Amit and California after Avinash has died, and goes off on a humorous and sympathetic misadventure at the local McDonald's. I thought this meant we were going to stick with Romola's POV for the story, but after the frame begins shifting again and again, I just found myself bored with the characters and their story.
It could be that I am just not a fan of this type of constantly changing POVs, as this is something that I have never cared for. But I do feel that the characters were pretty short-shifted and wished the book had been longer and actually delved more deeply into this. I was drawn to this because it involved a non-white character who was part of the LGBT group (although I don't recall if Avinash actually identified himself as gay or homosexual), but I just felt overall the book was poorly constructed.
Just in case a potential reader may want to know: there's a depiction of a male on male rape towards the end of the book. It's relatively brief and not exceptionally graphic, but I skimmed the pages where it took place.
Great potential, and there are places where there's some really great writing. But I wish an editor had taken a harder look at whether the story actually benefits from this style of writing.
So starts the story of "Don't Let Him Know." It's the story of a family told in a series of stories, weaving back and forth between characters, storylines and time periods. While this is something that can work, I ultimately found it very frustrating. It's really a series of vignettes that simply don't allow for character development. We keep moving back and forth in time, but we miss a lot: how does wife and mother Romola feel about her husband having had an affair with a man? What about the cultural, familiar and societal pressures father and husband Avinash face? There is a little bit of this (Romola being very upset when she first reads the original letter, that Avinash had been told he had to get married and he went along with it, etc.), but I thought it was a great missed opportunity to further explore these themes.
It just was not enough. I thought the book started off really well, with Romola temporarily staying with Amit and California after Avinash has died, and goes off on a humorous and sympathetic misadventure at the local McDonald's. I thought this meant we were going to stick with Romola's POV for the story, but after the frame begins shifting again and again, I just found myself bored with the characters and their story.
It could be that I am just not a fan of this type of constantly changing POVs, as this is something that I have never cared for. But I do feel that the characters were pretty short-shifted and wished the book had been longer and actually delved more deeply into this. I was drawn to this because it involved a non-white character who was part of the LGBT group (although I don't recall if Avinash actually identified himself as gay or homosexual), but I just felt overall the book was poorly constructed.
Just in case a potential reader may want to know: there's a depiction of a male on male rape towards the end of the book. It's relatively brief and not exceptionally graphic, but I skimmed the pages where it took place.
Great potential, and there are places where there's some really great writing. But I wish an editor had taken a harder look at whether the story actually benefits from this style of writing.
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