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The Same Man: Poems
Winner of the 2025 Agnes Lynch Starrett Poetry Prize
A one-of-a-kind debut that asks what we owe those we love, The Same Man is an aching chronicle of the early days of parenthood and the wounds of the past. Haunted by memory and powered by the demands and joys of new life, Elliott’s poems wrestle with the father-son relationship at their core and the deep, unspoken harms that shape us. A relentless effort toward expression and autonomy, The Same Man is a reckoning and a balm, a rallying call and a father's song of devotion.
A one-of-a-kind debut that asks what we owe those we love, The Same Man is an aching chronicle of the early days of parenthood and the wounds of the past. Haunted by memory and powered by the demands and joys of new life, Elliott’s poems wrestle with the father-son relationship at their core and the deep, unspoken harms that shape us. A relentless effort toward expression and autonomy, The Same Man is a reckoning and a balm, a rallying call and a father's song of devotion.
- GenresPoetry
96 pages, Paperback
Published September 9, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 8, 2025
I’m a bit betwixt and between on The Same Man, a poetry collection by Bobby Elliott. On the one hand, I responded pretty strongly to the macro aspect of the collection, the twin fatherhood theme represented by the speaker’s father — an unreliable parent and a source of constant and abiding emotional blackmail — and the speaker himself, full of love for his own two children and desperate to be a different father than his own. The haunting nature of his own father, the way it shades and shadows his life and his own joy in his children is a powerful theme throughout.
On the other hand, on the micro level of the individual poems themselves, while there were a decent number of lines that particularly struck me, none really leapt out at me in their wholeness. And they were often a bit more “prose-y” than I prefer, lacking a sense of sound or musicality or startling language/metaphor that I often look for in poetry. It’s not that those elements were entirely lacking — as noted, I did mark a number of lines/passages (see below), but they didn’t happen frequently enough for me. And a few of the poems felt a little too obvious to me in how the statements didn’t sound all that different from what I’ve heard any new parent (including myself) say. It’s a collection worth reading for sure, mostly for that overarching theme that unifies it all and, in some ways, makes the whole greater than the sum of its parts, but also for those stronger passages. I was just hoping for more.
A few of my favorite lines:
I remember the money vanishing but not
Where I’d kept it —the black heels
Of the eviction lady,
My mother maiden name in her mouth.
All night you wade into the body’s flooded house to reach him
I know
The sound they made when they fought.
I know how afraid we are to raise
Our voices. I know a sweetness
In us was once in them.
I get up
And leave him on the couch
He still thinks we’ll share one day when he’s
Too old
And too broke to live on his own
And we have no choice but to let him in
On the other hand, on the micro level of the individual poems themselves, while there were a decent number of lines that particularly struck me, none really leapt out at me in their wholeness. And they were often a bit more “prose-y” than I prefer, lacking a sense of sound or musicality or startling language/metaphor that I often look for in poetry. It’s not that those elements were entirely lacking — as noted, I did mark a number of lines/passages (see below), but they didn’t happen frequently enough for me. And a few of the poems felt a little too obvious to me in how the statements didn’t sound all that different from what I’ve heard any new parent (including myself) say. It’s a collection worth reading for sure, mostly for that overarching theme that unifies it all and, in some ways, makes the whole greater than the sum of its parts, but also for those stronger passages. I was just hoping for more.
A few of my favorite lines:
I remember the money vanishing but not
Where I’d kept it —the black heels
Of the eviction lady,
My mother maiden name in her mouth.
All night you wade into the body’s flooded house to reach him
I know
The sound they made when they fought.
I know how afraid we are to raise
Our voices. I know a sweetness
In us was once in them.
I get up
And leave him on the couch
He still thinks we’ll share one day when he’s
Too old
And too broke to live on his own
And we have no choice but to let him in
November 3, 2025
Touching, sometime tragic, homilies to the complexities of fathering in the shadow of a difficult and disappointing father (who’s now showing up as an attentive grandfather). Spare, evocative lines. Delicate details.
“He was always after reassurance
that he was a good father”
While the poet’s father appears to be trying to turn it around as a grandfather, succeeding only marginally, he’s mostly just piling on painful ironies, showing up for his grandsons in ways he never did for his son—without any accountability for what he’s done—the same son who has to witness this fitful transformation and somehow make meaning, or poetry, of the contradictions.
Never lacking in grace, but also never hiding his (the poet’s) frustration and anguish and reckoning with childhood injuries and the ways having children transforms us, ennobles our struggles with the legacies of our own parents, and deepens our compassion.
“He was always after reassurance
that he was a good father”
While the poet’s father appears to be trying to turn it around as a grandfather, succeeding only marginally, he’s mostly just piling on painful ironies, showing up for his grandsons in ways he never did for his son—without any accountability for what he’s done—the same son who has to witness this fitful transformation and somehow make meaning, or poetry, of the contradictions.
Never lacking in grace, but also never hiding his (the poet’s) frustration and anguish and reckoning with childhood injuries and the ways having children transforms us, ennobles our struggles with the legacies of our own parents, and deepens our compassion.
June 28, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC of this collection of poems in exchange for an honest review. Thank you so much.
Mr. Elliott's collection of poems touch on family, his relationship with his father, and describes himself being a father as well. I can relate to so much of this material. In one section, he mentions about how his father would ask his family if they're mad at him and if he has been a failure. I remember hearing this same line so much growing up. It's almost like I was being emotionally manipulated. The sad part is that I also feel this way sometimes about being a father as well although it's always been more of a thought, never spoken out loud. This is just one highlight of the many that I took away from this collection. I really enjoyed it even though it brought back some memories of childhood trauma!
Mr. Elliott's collection of poems touch on family, his relationship with his father, and describes himself being a father as well. I can relate to so much of this material. In one section, he mentions about how his father would ask his family if they're mad at him and if he has been a failure. I remember hearing this same line so much growing up. It's almost like I was being emotionally manipulated. The sad part is that I also feel this way sometimes about being a father as well although it's always been more of a thought, never spoken out loud. This is just one highlight of the many that I took away from this collection. I really enjoyed it even though it brought back some memories of childhood trauma!
September 14, 2025
There's not a word wasted in this impressive debut set of poems by Bobby Elliott. Each poem, especially the ones about his father–or himself as a father, gives you just enough to create a whole scene, a precarious and careful theatre of mood. And each poem, even in their economy, has the power to stun you and steal your breath. A special book.
July 24, 2025
These poems have a riveting circling quality, always getting closer and closer to the heart of the inarticulable. Especially worth reading for anyone who has ever sought to better understand a complicated relationship with a parent. A stunning debut.
November 13, 2025
3.5 stars objectively well written but possibly not my thing
July 21, 2025
There is so much explored within these pages…The idea of what lives in a person that was once in their parent, and how that shapes an individual. How as a parent there is an opportunity to desire and do better for your own child, maybe despite, or in relation to fractured familial relationships. A fear of inadequacy. That love is tricky, and rage is real, but that two feelings can be held simultaneously. The juxtaposition of tender love and what we are told love is through a lens of harm. There is rebuilding, and healing, and glimpses into the messiness of it, and having to choose to do it over, and over again. I love a line from the synopsis that describes the book as “a reckoning and a balm” because it is just that. Additionally, I loved seeing poems that incorporated a solid foundation, even reverence, between the speaker and their partner. It’s all around a great book.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews