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Lullabies for the Insomniacs: A Memoir in Verse
A teen with bipolar disorder fights for survival in Ella Grace Foutz's memoir in verse.
Foutz weaves an intimate and gripping chronicle of her experience with mental illness. Amidst the turbulence of manic and depressive episodes, often accompanied by insomnia, Foutz relentlessly pursues stability and self-understanding. She examines the struggles that come with her illness, the ways it can be managed, and the ways in which it's inextricable from her deepest self―informing how she sees the world around her and within her.
Balancing poignancy with moments of levity, Foutz invites the reader along for her journey as she navigates the complex terrain of mental health to forge her path forward.
Foutz weaves an intimate and gripping chronicle of her experience with mental illness. Amidst the turbulence of manic and depressive episodes, often accompanied by insomnia, Foutz relentlessly pursues stability and self-understanding. She examines the struggles that come with her illness, the ways it can be managed, and the ways in which it's inextricable from her deepest self―informing how she sees the world around her and within her.
Balancing poignancy with moments of levity, Foutz invites the reader along for her journey as she navigates the complex terrain of mental health to forge her path forward.
128 pages, Library Binding
Published November 4, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
September 24, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Books written in verse can be hit or miss for me. This one was pretty good overall but it felt too disjointed. The topic of bipolar disorder is very important and I'm glad this book was written. I do feel like it was lacking something but I can't quite figure out what.
Books written in verse can be hit or miss for me. This one was pretty good overall but it felt too disjointed. The topic of bipolar disorder is very important and I'm glad this book was written. I do feel like it was lacking something but I can't quite figure out what.
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November 17, 2025First published November 1, 2025 (Booklist).
Despite common speculation, Foutz’s bipolar disorder does not mean mood swings but manifests more like adjacent time zones of light and dark, undulating naturally as mania and depression. She opens on her 17-year-old self, who hasn’t been able to sleep in four days. When her mom takes her to a psych ward, they consider her a “unicorn” who doesn’t fit their checklist because she wears vivid colors and smiles. Platitudes lurk that irritate her: “It’s all in your head,” “Change your attitude,” and more. In this gritty memoir in verse, Foutz’s inner dialogue confirms humans are not one-size-fits-all and people shouldn’t be boxed in. She correlates this to authors tailoring their books to a particular genre: “You are not a genre. You are a book.” Poetry forms and devices include concrete, free verse, allusion, and more. However, much like the “time zones” are cyclical, some disjointed, repetitive sections seem off, perhaps intended to reflect her experiences on a manic-depressive carousel in this vulnerable debut. Includes a content advisory and concludes with mental health resources.
Despite common speculation, Foutz’s bipolar disorder does not mean mood swings but manifests more like adjacent time zones of light and dark, undulating naturally as mania and depression. She opens on her 17-year-old self, who hasn’t been able to sleep in four days. When her mom takes her to a psych ward, they consider her a “unicorn” who doesn’t fit their checklist because she wears vivid colors and smiles. Platitudes lurk that irritate her: “It’s all in your head,” “Change your attitude,” and more. In this gritty memoir in verse, Foutz’s inner dialogue confirms humans are not one-size-fits-all and people shouldn’t be boxed in. She correlates this to authors tailoring their books to a particular genre: “You are not a genre. You are a book.” Poetry forms and devices include concrete, free verse, allusion, and more. However, much like the “time zones” are cyclical, some disjointed, repetitive sections seem off, perhaps intended to reflect her experiences on a manic-depressive carousel in this vulnerable debut. Includes a content advisory and concludes with mental health resources.
October 28, 2025
I received this book for free in exchange for a review.
Lullabies for Insomniacs, by Ella Grace Foutz, is a collection of poetry discussing a cruel chaos wrapped under a deceptively neat bow called bipolar disorder.
The collection is separated into different sections, each of which details Foutz’s efforts to cope with her mental illness. Time zones examines the symptoms she experiences, and the system’s (and her) clumsy attempts to understand her mind and how she even got here. Survival Log accentuates Foutz’s mindset as she tries to survive bipolar disorder. Waking up details when Foutz is finally able to get a handle on her mental health, and Heritage discovers Foutz looking back and learning about the nuances behind who she is and what makes her work. Finally, Autonomy has Foutz reclaiming her identity and learning how having bipolar disorder fits into it.
The collection harkens to a dark, almost magical realism that comprises mental illness. The very first poem, Bipolar, introduces a girl who’s “mad they forced her to stay alive.” When it comes to severe mental illness, the torture is unbearable. It’s like a Death March, but instead of trying to survive, you’re trying to drown yourself to silence the pain. Some people are dragged into a mental hospital because no one trusts them to keep themselves safe. Some people try to force themselves into positivity, even though they’re literally still in the fire, because if they don’t, they’ll be the ones who take themselves out. Because what Foutz describes as literal “demons” are clawing at their brain and body. Think of that one Black Mirror episode, where a woman had to claw her throat out because the pain she was experiencing was unbearable. Even if it doesn’t last, that’s how horrible mental illness can be.
One poem that I enjoy especially can be found in the Survival Log. Foutz talks about how people assume that being depressed or being bipolar, or anything else involving your brain, is a mindset, and all you need to do is change your attitude. It sounds easy. But unfortunately, there’s no secret to success that you’re gonna get from any doctor, or hospital, or therapist, or life coach. Is it attitude? It can be, but a large part of it has to do with chemicals in your brain that you’re not able to control, or the horrific trauma that you have to work through, or the pain that may not even be your brain’s doing, but your body’s. Sure, it can be attitude. But what good is that when the monsters in the past, real or imagined, come knocking at your door?
I was trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and a lot of the verses that Foutz has written describe a well-versed understanding of it. There are some things that I agree with, and some things I don’t. DBT teaches that just because you may feel something, you may think something, or you may do something, you don’t have to be that thing. You’re not your mind, even though it’s an important part of you. It’s the same thing with your emotions and your actions; you’re not dictated by either. Your values teach you what to do, and if you value being authentic and wrapping your experiences around those three very important senses, then do it. It’s okay to die and also want to live. It’s okay to be in the dark for a little while, as long as you remember that you won’t feel that way forever.
Mental health in general can be very stigmatizing, particularly since each brain comes with a unique set of strengths and weaknesses; no one person’s experiences are going to be the same. Even so, Foutz was still able to find hers; she was able to remain grounded, all the while enjoying the benefits that mania can offer.
I absolutely loved this collection. It’s absolutely brutal, but it doesn’t shy away from highlighting the beautiful chaos that is bipolar disorder. It’s messy. It’s terrifying. It’s debilitating. But it can be wonderful all the same.
As such, I would give this collection a 5 out of 5 stars, and would recommend this book to folks who are interested in mental health, especially those who are already working in this field.
Lullabies for Insomniacs, by Ella Grace Foutz, is a collection of poetry discussing a cruel chaos wrapped under a deceptively neat bow called bipolar disorder.
The collection is separated into different sections, each of which details Foutz’s efforts to cope with her mental illness. Time zones examines the symptoms she experiences, and the system’s (and her) clumsy attempts to understand her mind and how she even got here. Survival Log accentuates Foutz’s mindset as she tries to survive bipolar disorder. Waking up details when Foutz is finally able to get a handle on her mental health, and Heritage discovers Foutz looking back and learning about the nuances behind who she is and what makes her work. Finally, Autonomy has Foutz reclaiming her identity and learning how having bipolar disorder fits into it.
The collection harkens to a dark, almost magical realism that comprises mental illness. The very first poem, Bipolar, introduces a girl who’s “mad they forced her to stay alive.” When it comes to severe mental illness, the torture is unbearable. It’s like a Death March, but instead of trying to survive, you’re trying to drown yourself to silence the pain. Some people are dragged into a mental hospital because no one trusts them to keep themselves safe. Some people try to force themselves into positivity, even though they’re literally still in the fire, because if they don’t, they’ll be the ones who take themselves out. Because what Foutz describes as literal “demons” are clawing at their brain and body. Think of that one Black Mirror episode, where a woman had to claw her throat out because the pain she was experiencing was unbearable. Even if it doesn’t last, that’s how horrible mental illness can be.
One poem that I enjoy especially can be found in the Survival Log. Foutz talks about how people assume that being depressed or being bipolar, or anything else involving your brain, is a mindset, and all you need to do is change your attitude. It sounds easy. But unfortunately, there’s no secret to success that you’re gonna get from any doctor, or hospital, or therapist, or life coach. Is it attitude? It can be, but a large part of it has to do with chemicals in your brain that you’re not able to control, or the horrific trauma that you have to work through, or the pain that may not even be your brain’s doing, but your body’s. Sure, it can be attitude. But what good is that when the monsters in the past, real or imagined, come knocking at your door?
I was trained in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and a lot of the verses that Foutz has written describe a well-versed understanding of it. There are some things that I agree with, and some things I don’t. DBT teaches that just because you may feel something, you may think something, or you may do something, you don’t have to be that thing. You’re not your mind, even though it’s an important part of you. It’s the same thing with your emotions and your actions; you’re not dictated by either. Your values teach you what to do, and if you value being authentic and wrapping your experiences around those three very important senses, then do it. It’s okay to die and also want to live. It’s okay to be in the dark for a little while, as long as you remember that you won’t feel that way forever.
Mental health in general can be very stigmatizing, particularly since each brain comes with a unique set of strengths and weaknesses; no one person’s experiences are going to be the same. Even so, Foutz was still able to find hers; she was able to remain grounded, all the while enjoying the benefits that mania can offer.
I absolutely loved this collection. It’s absolutely brutal, but it doesn’t shy away from highlighting the beautiful chaos that is bipolar disorder. It’s messy. It’s terrifying. It’s debilitating. But it can be wonderful all the same.
As such, I would give this collection a 5 out of 5 stars, and would recommend this book to folks who are interested in mental health, especially those who are already working in this field.
November 21, 2025
“I feel a horizon of expectation. / Not of greatness, / Or legacy or fame, / But of creation. / To rise / And create / In Spite of It All.”
Lullabies for the Insomniacs is a collection of free verse poems exploring the author’s struggle with bipolar disorder and its effects, like mania and depression. Ella Grace Foutz shares a raw and profound account of her life with bipolar disorder in five parts titled: I. time zones, II. survival log, III. waking up, IV. heritage, and V. autonomy. This memoir in verse recounts Foutz’s journey of being diagnosed, managing her bipolar disorder, reflections on her identity and family, and themes of despondency, solitude, writing, and more. Ultimately, Foutz decides that her diagnosis will not define her, and embarks on a path of self-acceptance and resilience.
I admit that when I picked up Lullabies for the Insomniacs, I was expecting something much more soothing. Perhaps I paid too much attention to the “lullaby” aspect of the title, and not enough to the “insomniacs” part to realize that this poetry collection would be dealing with mental health issues. Although discussing topics such as mental illness and death can be grim, I think awareness is crucial—especially for young adults. Mental health transparency is important at any age, but with young adults, teens, and tweens, it’s not really spoken about in literature and less so in poetry. Foutz dedicates this poetry collection to many individuals, but one of them happens to be her sixteen-year-old self. In being courageously vulnerable, not only does Foutz widen the space for young adults to explore mental illness in poetry, but she also shares a message that she wishes she received at the time of her diagnosis: you are not alone, and you will overcome this. It was interesting to see the evolution of Foutz’s health and acceptance of her life with BPD mirrored in her poems as the tones became more assured and hopeful. There is a shift around part III where Foutz decides that in her battles with BPD and insomnia, her choice of weapon will be her pen—to write—and reclaims autonomy. Even though BPD and mental illness are at the core of Lullabies for the Insomniacs, there is something for everyone in her lyrical and profound poems.
Pine Reads Review would like to thank NetGalley and Zest Books ™ for sending us an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Any quotes are taken from an advanced copy and may be subject to change before final publication.
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook @pinereadsreview, and check out our website at www.pinereadsreview.com for reviews, author interviews, blogs, podcast episodes, and more!
Lullabies for the Insomniacs is a collection of free verse poems exploring the author’s struggle with bipolar disorder and its effects, like mania and depression. Ella Grace Foutz shares a raw and profound account of her life with bipolar disorder in five parts titled: I. time zones, II. survival log, III. waking up, IV. heritage, and V. autonomy. This memoir in verse recounts Foutz’s journey of being diagnosed, managing her bipolar disorder, reflections on her identity and family, and themes of despondency, solitude, writing, and more. Ultimately, Foutz decides that her diagnosis will not define her, and embarks on a path of self-acceptance and resilience.
I admit that when I picked up Lullabies for the Insomniacs, I was expecting something much more soothing. Perhaps I paid too much attention to the “lullaby” aspect of the title, and not enough to the “insomniacs” part to realize that this poetry collection would be dealing with mental health issues. Although discussing topics such as mental illness and death can be grim, I think awareness is crucial—especially for young adults. Mental health transparency is important at any age, but with young adults, teens, and tweens, it’s not really spoken about in literature and less so in poetry. Foutz dedicates this poetry collection to many individuals, but one of them happens to be her sixteen-year-old self. In being courageously vulnerable, not only does Foutz widen the space for young adults to explore mental illness in poetry, but she also shares a message that she wishes she received at the time of her diagnosis: you are not alone, and you will overcome this. It was interesting to see the evolution of Foutz’s health and acceptance of her life with BPD mirrored in her poems as the tones became more assured and hopeful. There is a shift around part III where Foutz decides that in her battles with BPD and insomnia, her choice of weapon will be her pen—to write—and reclaims autonomy. Even though BPD and mental illness are at the core of Lullabies for the Insomniacs, there is something for everyone in her lyrical and profound poems.
Pine Reads Review would like to thank NetGalley and Zest Books ™ for sending us an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Any quotes are taken from an advanced copy and may be subject to change before final publication.
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook @pinereadsreview, and check out our website at www.pinereadsreview.com for reviews, author interviews, blogs, podcast episodes, and more!
October 29, 2025
As someone with Major Depressive Disorder, I can sympathize with Ella Grace Foutz's struggle with Bipolar Disorder. I feel very fortunate that I had a doctor who listened to my symptoms and didn't tell me "it was al in my head," (which is ironic considering it is in fact associated with the brain). I feel so fortunate that I have never struggled as much as others have; Foutz's story is harsh, raw, nerve endings on fire as she fights to quiet the noise, to find peace, to just sleep. As she illustrates in "Unicorn," a problem with mental illness is that you don't look sick, and if you don't look sick, you must not be sick. Meanwhile your brain is zooming through the galaxy collecting trinkets like a crow as otherworldly songs sing a cacophony in your skull.
She lays out the harsh reality in "Heritage": "Being sick is not a superpower./ Dying on the inside is not some noble battle that must be fought/ for the greater good of the art. [...] Madness is not a contingency of greatness/ Insanity is not a prerequisite for genius."
We are not far away from the days when someone with a mental illness was "insane" and shut away from the world in asylums. We are still living in a time where mental illness is considered a joke, fake, or it makes someone less than. Those of us that live with mental illness don't choose this, and if we had a choice I can guarantee most of us would choose otherwise. Consider this: "I am not my mind"--a very useful mantra. /Except,/ Um./ of course I am." While waiting for her diagnosis, Foutz struggled to separate herself from her illness. Eventually she comes to understand: her illness is part of her, but it does not define her.
She lays out the harsh reality in "Heritage": "Being sick is not a superpower./ Dying on the inside is not some noble battle that must be fought/ for the greater good of the art. [...] Madness is not a contingency of greatness/ Insanity is not a prerequisite for genius."
We are not far away from the days when someone with a mental illness was "insane" and shut away from the world in asylums. We are still living in a time where mental illness is considered a joke, fake, or it makes someone less than. Those of us that live with mental illness don't choose this, and if we had a choice I can guarantee most of us would choose otherwise. Consider this: "I am not my mind"--a very useful mantra. /Except,/ Um./ of course I am." While waiting for her diagnosis, Foutz struggled to separate herself from her illness. Eventually she comes to understand: her illness is part of her, but it does not define her.
November 5, 2025
Mental illness, especially something as complex as bipolar disorder, can be difficult to fully understand—even when it touches our own family histories. I’ve often thought about my grandfather, who was never formally diagnosed but, in hindsight, was believed to have had bipolar depression. Knowing that about him gave me a context, but it didn’t give me insight. How could a man with such a warm smile take his own life?
Reading Lullabies for Insomniacs, a memoir in verse by Ella Grace Fouts, didn’t provide all the answers—perhaps nothing ever could. But it did offer something precious: a window into the lived experience of someone navigating the unpredictable waters of bipolar disorder. Even after one reading, I know I would need to sit with this book again, returning to its lines with deeper reflection, to begin to grasp the fullness of what the author shares.
Fouts’s vulnerability is striking. By laying bare her rawest moments—her doubts, her shadows, her insomnia—she bridges a gap between her inner world and ours. In doing so, she gives readers like me a chance, however small, to begin to understand.
This book is not an easy read. It’s filled with potential triggers, and I’d caution anyone to approach it with care and self-awareness. But if you’re able to take it in, it’s more than worth it. It’s a haunting, brave, and necessary offering.
Reading Lullabies for Insomniacs, a memoir in verse by Ella Grace Fouts, didn’t provide all the answers—perhaps nothing ever could. But it did offer something precious: a window into the lived experience of someone navigating the unpredictable waters of bipolar disorder. Even after one reading, I know I would need to sit with this book again, returning to its lines with deeper reflection, to begin to grasp the fullness of what the author shares.
Fouts’s vulnerability is striking. By laying bare her rawest moments—her doubts, her shadows, her insomnia—she bridges a gap between her inner world and ours. In doing so, she gives readers like me a chance, however small, to begin to understand.
This book is not an easy read. It’s filled with potential triggers, and I’d caution anyone to approach it with care and self-awareness. But if you’re able to take it in, it’s more than worth it. It’s a haunting, brave, and necessary offering.
September 20, 2025
I have to preface my review by saying I do not have bipolar disorder, but I do suffer from anxiety-induced insomnia.
While this book is marketed as a memoir told through verse, it only followed a few years of the author's teen years. It was kind of hard to follow, but I believe that intentional as the author experienced mania and severe sleep deprivation - causing the disjointed prose.
I could relate to the sleep deprivation and the prejudice put on mentally-ill individuals. While this poetry collection did not evoke deep emotions and change my life, it felt very raw and relatable.
Some of my favorite quotes include:
"Please don't tell me you're a good kid, you eat your vegetables and know how to talk so you will be alright. Because I have been eating my vegetables and talking my whole life but I am not alright. I am here."
"I don't hate my life. I love my life. I feel that I suck at this life I so love."
"I am not my mind. Except, um of course I am."
"There is a very fine line between admitting to the sad feelings so that you don't blow up and not wallowing in them so that you don't fall apart."
"We are not horror stories. I may have more sadness in my life than some, but it doesn't mean that I've had any less joy."
While this book is marketed as a memoir told through verse, it only followed a few years of the author's teen years. It was kind of hard to follow, but I believe that intentional as the author experienced mania and severe sleep deprivation - causing the disjointed prose.
I could relate to the sleep deprivation and the prejudice put on mentally-ill individuals. While this poetry collection did not evoke deep emotions and change my life, it felt very raw and relatable.
Some of my favorite quotes include:
"Please don't tell me you're a good kid, you eat your vegetables and know how to talk so you will be alright. Because I have been eating my vegetables and talking my whole life but I am not alright. I am here."
"I don't hate my life. I love my life. I feel that I suck at this life I so love."
"I am not my mind. Except, um of course I am."
"There is a very fine line between admitting to the sad feelings so that you don't blow up and not wallowing in them so that you don't fall apart."
"We are not horror stories. I may have more sadness in my life than some, but it doesn't mean that I've had any less joy."
November 5, 2025
I'm so glad books like this are being written and that Ella Grace Foutz has found an outlet to tell her story. However, for this being advertised as a memoir, I felt like it only captured a small portion of who the author is, and it took place over such a small timeframe that I feel that memoir is an incorrect label. I'm not normally a poetry reader, so I can be completely off base, but I also felt like there was something missing here. The poems felt like they lacked a passion or an emotion...I'm not quite sure. But this didn't make me feel as much as I was hoping it would, I don't feel like I know the author any better as a result of reading this, and I don't feel like I learned much about living with bipolar disorder either. I never want to give a bad rating to someone's story because this is their lived experience and I don't want to tarnish that. But this is a book I will forget as soon as I finish writing this review.
October 12, 2025
Found this one on NetGalley and was intrigued. Not only is the cover beautiful, but I thought I could relate to the author since I have struggled with mental health and insomnia issues myself for many years. While this book is marketed as a memoir it didn't seem that way. There were a few quotes that resonated with me and the one I chose to share invoked something within. At some point I did get bored with the woe is me I can't sleep. Insomnia isn't fun as but the poems felt repetitive. The book itself wasn't horrible just not for everyone.
I appreciate the opportunity to read for nothing more than an honest review. All thoughts and feelings are my own.
#netgalley #lullabiesfortheinsomniacs #ellagracefoutz
#ARC #poetry
I appreciate the opportunity to read for nothing more than an honest review. All thoughts and feelings are my own.
#netgalley #lullabiesfortheinsomniacs #ellagracefoutz
#ARC #poetry
November 3, 2025
Thank you Netgalley, Lerner Publishing Group, and Ella Grace Foutz for sending me this advance review copy for free. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
This book was surreal and strange.
I think it could be dificult to read if you are triggered by traumatic medical experiences, and self harm. This really needed a TW list.
It delved deep into the mind of someone with severe mental illness, and we get a glimpse of what goes on inside their head suring a psychotic break. It felt like a nighmare, or a dream you can't get out of. Your thoughts don't line up right, and it's chaos.
I'm not sure if this would be everyone's cup of tea, but I really enjoyed it.
This book was surreal and strange.
I think it could be dificult to read if you are triggered by traumatic medical experiences, and self harm. This really needed a TW list.
It delved deep into the mind of someone with severe mental illness, and we get a glimpse of what goes on inside their head suring a psychotic break. It felt like a nighmare, or a dream you can't get out of. Your thoughts don't line up right, and it's chaos.
I'm not sure if this would be everyone's cup of tea, but I really enjoyed it.
November 20, 2025
The author of this book is one of my good friends from high school! It was beautifully written and literally flowed together! I haven’t read a lot of books in verse, but I really loved how raw and vulnerable this was. I learned a lot and am grateful to her for sharing her experiences with the world!
November 26, 2025
I really liked the beginning of this book, but was not a fan of the last chapter of poems. It’s short which is nice, and the poems can stand alone. That said, some are not my style.
I don’t think I’m a poetry girl.
I don’t think I’m a poetry girl.
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September 24, 2025I wouldn't call this a memoir in verse. It's almost all internal, so it's really more of a collection of poems. A good window for SEL into a bipolar experience.
December 2, 2025
Jumps around too much for me.
October 28, 2025
ARC was provided by NetGalley & Lerner Publishing Group | Zest Books ™
Content/Trigger Warnings: Bipolar disorder, manic episodes, insomnia, loss of loved ones
This memoir left me a hollow shell of emotions. As someone who has bipolar, there were so many moments in this memoir that were relatable, that had me sobbing, or was triggering. It was so beautiful and heartbreaking at times, and at moments felt like a mirror was turned to me. It was such a powerful, emotional experience. If you're looking a book that shines a light on Bipolar and a lot of the ups and downs that come with balancing this kind of mental illness, I can't recommend this memoir enough.
All thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions are honest and my own.
Instagram|StoryGraph|Ko-fi|Throne
Content/Trigger Warnings: Bipolar disorder, manic episodes, insomnia, loss of loved ones
This memoir left me a hollow shell of emotions. As someone who has bipolar, there were so many moments in this memoir that were relatable, that had me sobbing, or was triggering. It was so beautiful and heartbreaking at times, and at moments felt like a mirror was turned to me. It was such a powerful, emotional experience. If you're looking a book that shines a light on Bipolar and a lot of the ups and downs that come with balancing this kind of mental illness, I can't recommend this memoir enough.
All thoughts, feelings, experiences, and opinions are honest and my own.
Instagram|StoryGraph|Ko-fi|Throne
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