Rebecca Sue: A Sister's Reflections on Disability, Faith, and Love

by Kathleen Norris

A New Memoir from New York Times Bestselling Author Kathleen Norris

“My sister Rebecca had perinatal hypoxia, but I knew and loved her as my little sister long before I heard that term applied to her. As Becky became a toddler our parents noted that her development was not like that of my older brother and myself. But that mattered less to all of us than the fact that we enjoyed the company of a lively little person, who in an atmosphere of familial love and support was developing a strong personality.”

Discover the untold story behind one of Kathleen Norris's deeply personal relationships in Rebecca Sue. Best known for her insightful and poignant reflections on faith and life, Norris steps into uncharted territory by sharing an intimate memoir exploring the life of her younger sister Becky. Born with perinatal hypoxia, Becky's life was shaped by physical and mental disabilities, yet her spirit and resilience illuminate the hidden power of faith, family, and love.

With Norris's signature blend of poetic prose, spiritual reflection, and heartfelt storytelling, Rebecca Sue invites readers into a profoundly moving narrative. This isn't just a memoir; it's a tender tribute to Becky's intelligence, her struggles, and her extraordinary ability to inspire those around her. Through Becky, Norris examines the strength of familial bonds, the complexity of emotional and practical caregiving, and the myriad ways God works in our lives—seen and unseen.

Kathleen Norris, a five-time New York Times bestselling author, weaves her family's story with the depth and nuance her fans have come to cherish. Rebecca Sue explores the resilience of the human spirit, weaving a powerful story of perseverance, hope, and the unexpected ways people find strength during life's toughest moments.

This book is a heartfelt exploration of relationships, resilience, and faith—perfect for anyone drawn to spiritual growth, human connection, or those who belong to or support the disability community.

What You'll Find Inside

Beautiful Storytelling: A heartfelt narrative of Becky's life, capturing the joys and challenges of navigating disability with faith and grace.Spiritual Reflections: Kathleen Norris draws profound insights on how God's hidden power is revealed through family, caregiving, and love.A Rare Perspective: Learn from Becky's unwavering courage and Kathleen's enduring reflections on sisterhood, faith, and resilience.Tasting God's Grace: Read stories reflecting grace in everyday life challenges and triumphs.Kathleen Norris writes this memoir with the same care and introspection that has defined her career, sharing her own stories and reflections. Her compassion and honesty shine through, encouraging readers to consider their own relationships and faith.

Why Read Rebecca Sue?

This book offers a heartfelt journey through family relationships and personal growth. Whether you're a fan of Kathleen Norris, a memoir enthusiast, or someone exploring the intersection of disability and faith, Rebecca Sue will captivate your heart and soul.

Discover how faith, family, and love can transform challenges into opportunities for deeper connection.

Genres: Memoir, Disability, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Christian

240 pages, Hardcover

Published September 16, 2025

About the author

Kathleen Norris was born on July 27, 1947 in Washington, D.C. She grew up in Honolulu, Hawaii, as well as on her maternal grandparents’ farm in Lemmon, South Dakota.

Her sheltered upbringing left her unprepared for the world she encountered when she began attending Bennington College in Vermont. At first shocked by the unconventionality surrounding her, Norris took refuge in poetry.

After she graduated in 1969, she moved to New York City where she joined the arts scene, associated with members of the avant-garde movement including Andy Warhol, and worked for the American Academy of Poets.

In 1974, her grandmother died leaving Norris the family farm in South Dakota, and she and her future husband, the poet David Dwyer, decided to temporarily relocate there until arrangements to rent or sell the property could be made. Instead, they ended up remaining in South Dakota for the next 25 years.

Soon after moving to the rural prairie, Norris developed a relationship with the nearby Benedictine abbey, which led to her eventually becoming an oblate.

In 2000, Norris and her husband traded their farmhouse on the Great Plains for a condo in Honolulu, Hawaii, so that Norris could help care for her aging parents after her husband’s own failing health no longer permitted him to travel. Her father died in 2002, and her husband died the following year in 2003.

Reviews

[Marilyn McEntyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

The project of telling someone else’s story who can’t tell it herself is fraught with ethical and diplomatic difficulties: how to respect her privacy; how to stay humbly attuned to what led you to the task; how to honor her complexity; how to awaken in readers a desire to know about a life and a condition they may not initially think is of interest or relevance to them. How to make biography into blessing. Kathleen Norris met these challenges beautifully in telling the story of her sister, born with brain damage from hypoxia. This book is an eloquent reminder that disability links families and communities in profound ways and that a person with cognitive impairment can surprise those around her into new levels of awareness and stretch them into new kinds of love.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can honestly say I've never read a book quite like this one. It is a memoir of life with a sibling with a disability, but it is more than that.

"It is my intent in this book to present Rebecca Sue as a person in full."

As I read, I could feel the love that is so evident as author Kathleen Norris writes her sister Becky's story, many times using her own words from letters and journals. The story is not always a happy or uncomplicated one, but through telling the story, Kathleen Norris gives an authentic voice to someone who may have rarely been given a chance to share it.

I thought it was really profound that Kathleen drew parallels between her personality and Becky's. She even speculates that had things gone a different way for Becky, she may also have been a writer. I think our society tends to "other" people with disabilities, but Kathleen does what she set out to do, which is give Becky dignity and personhood in her storytelling.

It is worth noting that while this book is not explicitly about faith, there are notes of it in Becky's understanding of her situation and eventually her acceptance and growth in it. An attentive reader will also grapple with questions of the sovereignty of God, as many aspects of Becky's story are simply sad and seem unfair. The book doesn't tell us what to think, but it gives us questions to consider.

"She'd gone from harbouring a load of rage to someone whose primary virtue was gratitude. That feels like resurrection to me."

Many thanks to IVP and Netgalley for the advanced review copy. All opinions are my own.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book Review: Rebecca Sue: A Sister’s Reflections on Disability, Faith, and Love
by Kathleen Norris

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Overview
Kathleen Norris, celebrated for her lyrical explorations of spirituality and everyday life, turns her introspective gaze toward the intimate terrain of sisterhood, disability, and unconditional love in Rebecca Sue. This memoir-in-essays chronicles Norris’s relationship with her younger sister, Rebecca Sue, who lived with intellectual and physical disabilities, weaving together themes of caregiving, faith, and the complexities of familial bonds. Norris’s prose—poetic yet unflinching—transforms personal grief and grace into a universal meditation on human dignity and divine presence in vulnerability.

Themes and Content

Norris grapples with:
-Disability and Dignity: Challenges cultural narratives that equate disability with brokenness, instead portraying Rebecca Sue’s life as a testament to joy, resilience, and inherent worth.
-Faith in the Trenches: Interrogates how religious institutions often fail to embrace disability, while also affirming faith as a lens to perceive sacredness in dependency and interdependence.
-Sisterhood as Sacrament: Renders caregiving not as martyrdom but as a mutual exchange of love, where Norris learns as much from Rebecca Sue as she gives.
-Grief and Legacy: Reflects on mourning as an ongoing dialogue with absence, and how memory sanctifies relationships beyond death.

The book’s strength lies in its refusal to sentimentalize; Norris acknowledges frustration, guilt, and ambiguity alongside tenderness, offering a nuanced portrait of love’s labor.

Writing Style and Structure
Norris’s background as a poet and essayist shines in her precise, evocative language. The fragmented, nonlinear structure—mirroring the erratic nature of memory—serves the material well, though some readers may crave more narrative continuity. Her theological reflections are accessible yet profound, avoiding dogma in favor of lived experience. Rare moments of repetition (e.g., recurring metaphors) slightly dilute the impact, but the overall voice remains compelling.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:
-Emotional Authenticity: Norris’s vulnerability invites readers into raw, relatable spaces of doubt and devotion.
-Cultural Critique: Exposes societal and ecclesiastical ableism without didacticism, advocating for inclusive compassion.
-Spiritual Depth: Transcends clichés to explore faith as a messy, transformative journey.

Weaknesses:
-Pacing Irregularities: A few essays feel tangential, disrupting the thematic flow.
-Limited Intersectionality: While deeply personal, the narrative rarely engages with how race, class, or systemic barriers intersect with disability.

Section Scoring Breakdown (0–5)
-Originality: 4/5 – A fresh perspective on disability memoirs, though thematically familiar to Norris’s oeuvre.
-Emotional Impact: 5/5 – Heart-wrenching and uplifting in equal measure.
-Thematic Depth: 4/5 – Rich theological and philosophical layers, with room for broader social analysis.
-Narrative Cohesion: 3.5/5 – Fragmentation suits the genre but occasionally sacrifices momentum.
-Accessibility: 4.5/5 – Elegant prose balances intellectual and emotional appeal.

Final Verdict
Rebecca Sue is a luminous addition to the literature of disability, faith, and sisterhood. Norris’s ability to find holiness in the ordinary—and to question where it’s obscured—makes this memoir a beacon for caregivers, skeptics, and seekers alike. While its structure may not satisfy those craving linear storytelling, its emotional and spiritual insights linger long after the final page.

★★★★☆ (4/5) – A piercingly honest ode to love’s transformative power in the face of fragility.

Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Kathleen Norris, for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Marinna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rebecca Sue: A Sister's Reflections on Disability, Faith, and Love was a tough read for me. I initially picked this up after reading the description of Kathleen's sister being born with perinatal hypoxia. My youngest daughter experienced hypoxia during delivery and I have been making an effort to educate myself in anyway I can as to how I can help. I was hopeful that there would be a message of hope, and although there was, it was a much more bleak depiction and outcome than I had hoped. One thing that stood out to me were the difficulties Rebecca Sue, or "Becky,' had with intimate relationships and how often she was taken advantage of and sexualized. This has filled me with horror in thinking of my own infant daughter incurring anything of the sort later in her life.

I didn't feel that Kathleen particularly showed any major personal growth or insights from her sister's experiences. It was a book of simple story-telling, which although honest, did not leave me feeling optimistic. Living with a disabled sister is not easy and I definitely could feel the weight of caring for Becky in the writing. I was impressed by Becky's persistence in her efforts to communicate with those she loved in order to feel seen, heard, and to get support. There are definitely positives to take away despite the more heart-wrenching subject matter.

The narration provided by Laural Merlington was enjoyable. There were certainly times where I was able to have myself a chuckle at the story-telling.

Thank you to NetGalley, RBmedia, Christian Audio, the author Kathleen Norris and the narrator Laural Merlington for an ALC of Rebecca Sue in exchange for an honest review.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most beautiful story of a special sister. A raw, poetic look at the life her sister lead. It’s a love letter and a eulogy. It’s always a treat to read anything by Kathleen, and this was no exception.

[Kimi Hanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her sharing the story of life with her disabled sister, Kathleen Norris marvelously balances grace, eloquence, vulnerability and memory - a feat most authors may only hope to achieve.

With a fierce determination to give her sister - Rebecca Sue ("Becky") - the time, consideration and love unbound by the difficulties of this world, Kathleen Norris shed so much light on the uncomfortable subject of a grown woman living with disabilities.

Throughout the book (as promised in the beginning by the author), the reader understands the retelling of Becky's life mostly from her very own perspective, without editing or a need to be politically correct. This was such a brilliant way to expose the reader to the autonomy and limitations of Becky.

There is no doubt in my mind that Becky's parents advocated to their fullest extent, thanks to the openness of the author.

I highly recommend this book, especially to open your eyes to empathy that knows no bounds.

Thank you to NetGalley for this eARC.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded down.

Unlike most memoirs, this one doesn't focus on the author. Instead, Kathleen Norris focuses on the story of her sister. As Norris explains at the beginning of the book, Becky Sue suffered a traumatic brain injury during her birth, and this resulted in permanent cognitive and developmental disabilities. Norris reflects on ways that her family navigated the resulting challenges, and she gives a voice to her sister's experiences while also weaving in her own memories and perspectives.

Becky Sue understood what had happened to her, and she struggled with anger and resentment over her unfair circumstances, her limitations, and ways that people mistreated her. She also dealt with some serious mental health issues, which her family struggled to know how to support. Although this book comes from a sister's perspective, it focuses on Becky Sue's experiences as an individual, not just what life was like for her family members. Norris directly incorporates Becky Sue's voice, quoting excerpts from letters and sharing memories from their phone conversations.

Norris wrote this book as a series of short vignettes, sharing memories and reflections that build on each other to share the story of her sister's life. She writes about core experiences from their early years, and then she writes about Becky Sue's history of troubled relationships and experiences in and out of group homes, as the family struggled to find the right balance between providing support and encouraging her independence. Readers who have cognitively disabled or mentally ill loved ones will relate to the tension between needing to overlook some things and give grace, while also needing to provide accountability.

There is a trigger warning at the beginning, which mentions that this book covers the impacts of sexual assault, as well as compulsive sexual behavior. There are never graphic details, but a significant emphasis in the middle of the book is on Becky Sue's sexual acting out with a string of men who disappointed her. The author reflects on the exploitative nature of many of these relationships, due to Becky Sue's cognitive disability, and she expresses the family's powerlessness to help her.

The vignettes covering Becky Sue's later years involve the author in a more active role, since she became her sister's primary caregiver after their parents' deaths. During these years, Becky Sue grew in contentment and began to have a more outward focus, forging meaningful relationships with her medical care team as she battled health issues and continued dealing with psychiatric problems. Norris also shares reflections on God and faith throughout the book, especially towards the end. This is never a huge emphasis, but is an undercurrent throughout.

This book is a testament to the author's love for her sister, and I appreciate how she represents her sister as an individual with a complex inner world, instead of just writing about her in relation to the other family members. However, even though Becky Sue technically gave her sister permission to write a book about her someday, the number of intimate details that Norris included gave me pause. She received Becky Sue's medical records after her death, and she quotes from them here, giving complete strangers information about her sister's medical and psychiatric evaluations and treatments. 

I don't know how Becky Sue would feel about this, but if one of my siblings published detailed quotes from my medical or psychological records after my death, I would be furious. Although reading the medical records was clearly helpful for Norris's personal processing, she shared far more than was necessary to contextualize things for her readers. I also question the wisdom of sharing so many details about Becky Sue's problematic relationship history and sexual issues. Families facing similar issues may appreciate the straightforward, nuanced portrayal of a taboo topic, but it sometimes feel voyeuristic.

Rebecca Sue is a unique, powerful memoir that grapples honestly with difficult, complex topics. People with similar family struggles will feel seen, and this book can help other people better understand the challenges of living with mental health issues and developmental disabilities. If someone comes here looking for hope and encouragement, they will find this memoir very bleak. However, if you approach it as a sad story that is full of honesty and grace, it can be a powerful reading experience.

I received a free copy from the publisher, and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

[Michele Morin · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Rebecca Sue, I saw Kathleen Norris bearing witness to her younger sister’s longing for this thing we all take for granted—a normal life. Her sister Rebecca lived with the effects of a brain injury at birth, so from childhood, she heard words like slow and dependent applied to her and experienced the limitations that came with her disability.

The memoir is organized around Rebecca’s questions, which reveal her efforts to probe the boundaries of her limitations:

Will I always be slow?
What does being dependent mean?
What will happen to me if you, Dad, and Mom get sick?

In what is likely her most vulnerable book, Norris tracks her own story alongside her sister’s, sharing both the sweetness of their interactions and the ever-widening chasm between the author’s wide and wonderful normal life and Rebecca’s inability to hold a job, find romantic love, or live independently.2

Rebecca Sue offers the gift of shared experience and understanding to family members dealing with mental health challenges. In telling her sister’s story, Norris’s lyrical prose is woven through with spiritual insights that bring wisdom and hope to what can seem like an impossible situation.

Norris concludes, “I believe that there are many circumstances in which praising and giving thanks means that we’re not clinging to what we wanted but accepting what life has handed us. It’s not positive thinking or looking on “the bright side.” It’s a realism that can endure deep darkness and detect the grace that exists even in distressing circumstances. It’s up to us to recognize grace and open our hearts to receive it.”

The presence of God in the midst of the daunting obstacles that come with a disability is a great consolation and evidence of God’s provision—even in the wilderness.

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have heard highly of Kathleen Norris. I even have several of her books that I have yet to read. And then I discovered this gem, about her sister and their relationship. This is a true story, not about perinatal hypoxia and all of its symptoms, both at birth and later in life. This is not about the hardships of having a sister with this diagnosis and how the family coped. This is truly a story about Rebecca Sue, who was loved and adored by her family irregardless of what others said about her. Told from the vantage point of Kathleen, but also straight from Rebecca herself. What a truly quirky, amazing, and courageous woman who knows she's not where she wants to be, but also determined to keep going no matter what. Beautifully written and now Rebecca could honestly add 'writer' to her list, next to 'artist'. What an honor to be given insight and a window in to her life. Thank you so much! Highly highly highly recommend!
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[Andrea Stoeckel · Rating 5 out of 5]

"A diagnosis of terminal cancer sends people into the desert. But one message of the desert stories in the Bible is that God will do the impossible in order to provide for his people. And we are called-- and often challenged -- to be grateful*

I basically read this book in one sitting in tears. This is a memoir about the life of Kathleen Norris' sister Rebecca Sue's life as someone effected by perinatal hypoxia causing developmental challenges throughout her entire life and the struggles the entire Norris clan had with it as well as her own struggles.

This book is a celebration and is filled with sorrow at lost potential. It will make you cheer and make you cry. As a huge fan of Kathleen Norris I highly recommend it 5/5

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rebecca Sue: A Sister's Reflections on Disability, Faith, and Love

This was a good book. An interesting read.

I found insight into Rebecca's life very intriguing and personal.

Becky, as she goes by, was a very lively and fascinating person - lively person and personality. I loved reading about how she inspired those around her.

Norris writes in an engaging way, describing both the beauty but also the difficulty of growing up with a sibling who requires special attention. I found it really well written with some of the practical challenges and the emotions behind caregiving.

All in all, I really appreciated how the book taskles faith and disability, and found it a interesting kind of third party memoir.

Definitely check it out!

3.8/5

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Kathleen Norris as an author, and this memoir of her relationship with her sister did not disappoint. There is as much nuance as I have come to expect from the author; she paints a portrait of a vulnerable, (very) difficult, colorful and loved member of the family. The fact that Becky lived in a caring environment and had access to health care until she died is a testament both to the Norris family and to resources available in the community.

I especially love Kathleen's declaration that waiting for an hour with her sister for her ride was the best use of her time. What a way to change the world; one act of care-giving at a time. Small acts of kindness may seem insignificant, but they matter.

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this as I do admire Norris' work. I wasn't comfortable reading such intimate details about her disabled sister. Perhaps she received permission to share but it felt a bit voyeuristic.