The Long Shoe

by Bob Mortimer

THE BRAND-NEW BOOK FOR 2025 BY 2 MILLION COPY BESTSELLING AUTHOR BOB MORTIMER.
 
Bathroom salesman Matt is at a crossroads. He has lost his job, he is about to be made homeless and his girlfriend has left him. He wants his luck to change and he wants things to go back to how they were. Out of the blue he is offered a job that comes with a free luxury apartment. He hopes this might be enough to tempt her back. But, as events unfold, it starts to dawn on him that perhaps she didn't leave of her own accord after all...​
 
Praise for Bob
 
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else' The Guardian
 
‘The much loved comic proves adept at noirish fiction in a debut whose surrealist humour sets it apart’ – Observer

‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times 
 
'There is a sweetness to his worldview that makes his writing gently poignant... Like Spike Milligan, the only vintage comic whose fiction is still read, Mortimer has managed to use a novel as a vehicle for his distinctive comedic voice' The Telegraph

Genres: Fiction, Audiobook, Mystery, Humor, Comedy, Crime, Thriller

336 pages, Hardcover

First published October 9, 2025

About the author

Robert Renwick Mortimer is an English comedian, podcast presenter and actor. He is known for his work with Vic Reeves as part of their Vic and Bob comedy double act, and more recently the Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing series with comedian Paul Whitehouse. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Mor...]

Reviews

[Hollie Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very pleased with what it achieved for me.

[Mathilda Murakami · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Bob, if you happen to read this, please just sit down and write more books. Many, many more.

[Nathan Lord · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s so Bob. So, so Bob. Delightfully Bob. Encouragingly Bob. Presumably Bob.

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was disappointing to me. I’m a big fan of Bob Mortimer’s last two books, but this one fell flat. The first 20% was funny and had his usual dry tone, but at some point the humor all fell away and it was a fairly boring story. The charm and silliness of the main character just stopped and it seemed like a weird story that shouldn’t be a book.
I didn’t find the GF’s perspective to add anything—she wasn’t funny.
I also didn’t find the “crazy friend’s” perspective to add anything—she seemed more heartless than funny. I mean, why is that even a subtheme, that she strategically tries to break up couples? I didn’t follow why that was funny or even interesting.
I listened to this one vs reading like I did the prior two Bob Mortimer mysteries. I don’t think that was what made the difference, though.
An extremely ho hum story.

[Steven McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The shoe was indeed frighteningly long

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

really enjoyed this book . easy to read

[Tommy K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Diminishing returns. I don't often read celeb-authored books, but I make the exception for Bob. The first one, The Satsuma Complex, took me by surprise due to my own low expectations. The following two haven't quite achieved the same. It's still funny and packed to the rafters with Mortimerisms and the boiler-plate absurdity that is his style, but for me the novelty is wearing off. Glad I listened on audio as I'd have probably dnf'd if it wasn't for Bob's narration.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh I was very entertained.
Hilarious, clever, what a bunch of characters.
Bob’s done it again!
Am I right?

[holli · Rating 3 out of 5]

funny and weird. there was indeed a long shoe!

[Adam Murfet · Rating 5 out of 5]

GENUINE REVIEW- READ ON DAY OF RELEASE.


Fans of the Satsuma Complex and The Hotel Avocado will absolutely love this quirky, funny, brilliant page turner by the wonderful Bob Mortimer.

I laughed out loud and couldn’t put it down. Absolutely brilliant. Matt is a brilliant character and I hope there is a sequel.

The characters and the whole story was genius. Genuinely one of the best books I’ve read all year.

[Stewart Cotterill · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very Bob Mortimer book! The introduction of Goodmonson. Faint traces of theft and shrubbery. A long shoe. A fun read. Lovely to be inside Bob’s head for 4 days.

[Lucy Marley Clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobooked this one and it didn’t disappoint. Thank you Bob for the chuckles

[Tracey Allen at Carpe Librum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Matt is a bathroom salesman who has recently lost his job and spends his time mooching about instead of finding a new apartment to live in. His girlfriend Harriet leaves him when the deadline on their lease expiry approaches and Matt still hasn't taken any action. Deciding to turn things around, Matt accepts an offer of a flat at Satsuma Heights, but there's just one small catch.

"I don't like to call it spying. Think of it as residential intelligence gathering." Page 64

Yep, Matt is asked to spy on his neighbours for the eccentric owner of the building and he's quickly pulled into their lives as a result. Soon there's a missing person case to solve and it's unclear if Matt will succeed in getting his life together.

In The Long Shoe, Bob Mortimer creates terrific characters and Hot Dog was a clear standout for me and I just loved his nickname for Matt; Jigsaw! Carol the flirty cougar was an unlikeable character so perfectly depicted that I could hear her grating voice and almost smell her perfume darling!

Mortimer's signature humour is back in full effect and I enjoyed his observations of the mundane, like when Matt asks if a character's vape is vanilla and potato when it's actually raspberry and coconut.

The Long Shoe by Bob Mortimer is part of a series that began with The Satsuma Complex and continued with The Hotel Avocado. I loved The Satsuma Complex - giving it 5 stars in my review - in 2023 but somehow missed reading The Hotel Avocado. While each of the three books are set in the same world or Mortimer universe, The Long Shoe can easily be read as a standalone.

The Long Shoe by Bob Mortimer is a chuckle-worthy and entertaining mystery with compelling characters and yes, even a very long shoe. I hope the author continues this cozy crime series in the future.

* Copy courtesy of Simon & Schuster *

[Mandy White (mandylovestoread) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always fun, a.ways a laugh from Bob Mortimer.i love that narrates his own books too.

[Lisa - *OwlBeSatReading* · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have no words to express how much I enjoyed reading ‘The Long Shoe’ because Bob stole them all to write this book.

[Jeremy Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

I like Bob Mortimer, but this didn't really work for me. He excels at improv comedy, but it doesn't translate well to this medium.

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very meh. Some parts were funny, but the story was just weird.

Listened on audible and would rather have spent my credit on something else.

[Melanie O'Neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who doesn’t love Bob Mortimer? He certainly can write!
His books are funny (no surprise there), warm, witty and very engaging. This is his third book and I enjoyed it immensely. Written with his unique humour, it was certainly a winner for me.
Read on my free Kindle BotrowBox Library App

[Emily B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another hit from Bob Mortimer. He can't go wrong it seems

[Judy Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. A really good plot that kept you guessing, and enjoyed the narrative device of filling in with the squirrel and pigeon voices.
Highly recommend, but read the satsuma complex first. You can certainly hear Bob telling the story, love him so that was fine.

[Gary Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bob’s back. His shoes are longer, his cats are chattier, and his cameras are sneakier. A comedic thriller that tiptoes through absurdity. All the better for him narrating it himself, with the equally dry humour of Diane Morgan. And he’s from a few miles from where I was born.

[Francis Pellow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this more. Lots of half smile moments but missing the charm of Bob bouncing whimsically off Paul Whitehouse or someone else.

[Eleanor Masters · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5⭐️ I fear Bob has one writing style, it’s very lighthearted but not much more.

[Jake Knapper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Went in and knew what I was expecting with Bob's mayhem and book antics, right up my street. I actually like the who dunnit vibe and fair play, had me going for most of the book. nice easy read and plenty of phrases, names and scenarios that tickled my pickle.

[Kat V · Rating 4 out of 5]

THE RETURN OF GOOD MONSON!!! In my opinion this is the funniest one so far. 4.1 stars

[Steve Leverett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another fun read from the delightfully mad Bob 👏👏👏

[Robbie Lunniss · Rating 2 out of 5]

They're all the same Bob, they are all the same.

This is my cease and desist to reading his fiction; at least until his next book comes out.

[Felix · Rating 3 out of 5]

the wind up bird chronicle for middle aged british men. listened to the audiobook of this whilst cleaning and packing my flat because my mum recommended it to me. it was fine! semi-interesting story leading to a rather unsatisfying conclusion. he learnt the concept of a red herring and ran with it too far. but it was fun, and sweet, and as someone in persistent unemployment i’d rather like someone to do that for me

[Malc · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's Bob Mortimer. Need I say more?

[Julie Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

another brilliant read from Bob. I got the signed version so will be keeping this. I love that he's changed the characters this time and I love Matt as a character. Carol is funny, her ought to bring her back in the next one. A thriller that is funny before it is thrilling!