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Speaking Up Without Freaking Out: 50 Techniques for Confident, Calm, Competent Presenting
Speaking Up without Freaking Out by Matt Abrahams is an easy-to-read book containing over 50 anxiety management techniques that are based on scientifically supported theory and evidence that will help you become a more confident and compelling communicator regardless of where you present -- on stage, in a meeting or virtually. Confident and compelling presenting involves a complicated mix of physiological and psychological factors. In the 3rd edition, this book provides specific guidance and opportunities to practice developing the skills you will need to feel more comfortable speaking in front of others in an engaging way.
135 pages, Paperback
First published November 19, 2013
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1339 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 21, 2017
I read this as part of Professionally Speaking's Summer Reading Series - http://professionallyspeaking.net/sum...
As a professional speaker, there were several things that were reinforced, like not drinking caffeine since we are already stimulated, playing a game or something right before to get our minds focused on something else (I do a Duolingo session). I agree with him on not practicing so much that it is memorized. I memorized a keynote so much I messed up the end by throwing in my last line after the audience had applauded because they clapped too early. Well..not too early, it was perfect! I just hadn't planned for it in my practice.
Looking forward to the webinar interview with him in July.
As a professional speaker, there were several things that were reinforced, like not drinking caffeine since we are already stimulated, playing a game or something right before to get our minds focused on something else (I do a Duolingo session). I agree with him on not practicing so much that it is memorized. I memorized a keynote so much I messed up the end by throwing in my last line after the audience had applauded because they clapped too early. Well..not too early, it was perfect! I just hadn't planned for it in my practice.
Looking forward to the webinar interview with him in July.
August 19, 2018
That's what I call a dense good book! If you ever freaked out when giving a talk this book is for you. Even if you didn't but want to learn a thing or two, this is a book for you. If you're a beginner speaker - this is a must read!
150 pages filled with psychology, chemistry, behaviorism of you and your body when you prepare/give your talk . No mambo-jumbo, just pure science and tooling wrapped in short chapters. Love it!
150 pages filled with psychology, chemistry, behaviorism of you and your body when you prepare/give your talk . No mambo-jumbo, just pure science and tooling wrapped in short chapters. Love it!
February 1, 2021
This is a good go-to handbook for techniques on how to give public speeches with confidence.
Key take-away:
- Continue toastmaster to practice and gradually gain confidence as speaking skills increase.
- read children's book to improve voice variations
- look at the spot between people's eyes to "fake" eye contact.
- tips for Q&A
Chapter 2 Manage your anxiety
Theory one: behavioral Theory
- You are nervous because you don't have the skills.
- Develop your speaking skills
- Practice practice practice, toastmaster
Theory 2: Learning theory
- Pavlov's dog. Some conditions caused you to think that speaking is a bad thing
- imagine the day you will give speech go smoothly
- Think about your successes, and reasonable excuses for negative memories
Theory 3: Biological Theory
- You're nervous because your produces chemicals that cause anxiety and fear.
- seeking social support before a speech
- act courageously prior to speaking( you could volunteer to present first)
- use exposure therapy. Trigger your body to feel the anxiety by imagining your giving a speech, then practice muscle relaxation techniques systemically again and again
Theory 4: Cognitive theory
- think of a speech as a conversation
- replace negative self talk with positive affirmation
- objectively recognized your anxiety to gain a sense of control
- think rationally. what is the worst thing that could happen? How likely well that's come true?
Theory 5 evolutionary theory
- The reason you're anxious is you are worried about consequences (social status) off your action
- focus on the present and avoid thinking about consequences in the future
Key take-away:
- Continue toastmaster to practice and gradually gain confidence as speaking skills increase.
- read children's book to improve voice variations
- look at the spot between people's eyes to "fake" eye contact.
- tips for Q&A
Chapter 2 Manage your anxiety
Theory one: behavioral Theory
- You are nervous because you don't have the skills.
- Develop your speaking skills
- Practice practice practice, toastmaster
Theory 2: Learning theory
- Pavlov's dog. Some conditions caused you to think that speaking is a bad thing
- imagine the day you will give speech go smoothly
- Think about your successes, and reasonable excuses for negative memories
Theory 3: Biological Theory
- You're nervous because your produces chemicals that cause anxiety and fear.
- seeking social support before a speech
- act courageously prior to speaking( you could volunteer to present first)
- use exposure therapy. Trigger your body to feel the anxiety by imagining your giving a speech, then practice muscle relaxation techniques systemically again and again
Theory 4: Cognitive theory
- think of a speech as a conversation
- replace negative self talk with positive affirmation
- objectively recognized your anxiety to gain a sense of control
- think rationally. what is the worst thing that could happen? How likely well that's come true?
Theory 5 evolutionary theory
- The reason you're anxious is you are worried about consequences (social status) off your action
- focus on the present and avoid thinking about consequences in the future
December 11, 2019
concise actionable insights
September 10, 2018
When you’re facing an important business presentation, do you often feel like you’re at the mercy of your anxiety? As you probably know, fear of public speaking is rooted in human biology. However, that doesn’t mean speech anxiety is an inevitable fact of life that you can’t overcome. It certainly does not need to derail your goals. Using the right techniques, you can manage your anxiety so that you achieve results when you step up to speak.
Fear of public speaking can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Some people get tongue-tied, others experience an increase in body temperature, while others find themselves pacing or swaying on stage. That’s why you need a personalized plan to manage any anxiety.
That’s the premise behind the first book in our summer reading series: Speaking Up Without Freaking Out: 50 Techniques for Confident and Compelling Presenting. Author Matt Abrahams, a seasoned researcher, educator at Stanford University’s School of Business and communications consultant, offers his advice for developing your own anxiety management plan (AMP). With over 50 techniques to choose from, you can select specific strategies that address your individual situation and you can start using right away.
I appreciated that Matt’s writing made me feel like I was talking with a trusted colleague sharing inside secrets. I even came across some techniques I had never seen before. Here are a few of my favorites.
A simple way to stop swaying
It can be very difficult to change the ingrained behaviors that you have developed in response to stress. If you have tried to curtail nervous habits like swaying as you speak, you know that merely trying to remember not to do it probably won’t work. The minute you focus your attention elsewhere you find yourself swaying again. This habit is distracting to your audience and can undermine your confidence. Abrahams offers a much easier solution: simply stand with one foot slightly in front of the other. Adjusting your center of balance makes all the difference. Try it!
How to stay cool in the moment
Do you tend to get overheated when you step up to speak? You might perspire, get flushed, or just feel so hot that you’re distracted from focusing on your message and your audience.
Here’s all you need to help keep your core temperature down so you can feel cool and calm: an ice-cold water bottle. Simply hold the bottle as you deliver your presentation; it will feel as soothing as stepping into an air-conditioned room on a hot day. And it’s a natural thing to carry on stage. One caveat to keep in mind, though: make sure you don’t inadvertently use the water bottle to gesture.
Another idea I had after reading about Abrahams’ advice: try putting a small ice pack in your pocket.
Use hormones to your advantage
Another thing I loved about Abrahams’ book is the way he empowers readers by explaining the science behind our reactions to stress, and how we can use the body’s natural responses to manage anxiety. This tip is a perfect example.
Oxytocin is a hormone that promotes bonding between people, and is naturally produced in your body every time you hug a friend, shake hands with a colleague, or kiss your spouse or child. Abraham points out that you can inhibit your negative feelings about speaking by encouraging your body to produce more oxytocin in those stressful moments. In fact, I do this every time I speak by greeting audience members with a handshake as they arrive for my presentation. Even just thinking about someone you care about can help to reduce your doubts.
Amy Cuddy, Harvard social scientist and author of Presence also advocates using your body’s hormones to your advantage in combatting stressful situations. Her power poses have been proven to decrease the stress hormone cortisol while increasing testosterone that boosts our feelings of power and control.
Use positive distractions
If you’re like most business professionals, you’re all about efficiency. In that case you’ll love this tip that solves two problems with one technique.
Distraction is an effective strategy for managing anxiety. It’s the concept behind my “think the thought” practice: you feel more confident when all your attention is focused on your audience and the message you are delivering in that moment.
Abrahams offers ideas for distraction that also serve another practical and positive purpose. For example, reciting tongue twisters before you step on stage requires so much concentration that you forget about your nerves. And, you’re also warming up your voice at the same time.
Developing your own anxiety management plan (AMP)
Whether you are new to public speaking or a seasoned business leader looking to enhance your communication skills, there is something in this book for you! Using Abrahams’ exhaustive list of useful tips and ideas for combatting anxiety symptoms, you can put together a collection of practices to address your specific areas of concern. He recommends developing what I like to call a “pregame ritual” to perform just before you speak to get in the moment and manage stress. You can also incorporate helpful habits that improve your delivery.
There’s no need to feel trapped by the symptoms of speech anxiety, or to let them rob you of the outcome you’re looking to achieve. Taking control of your nerves is easier than you thought!
Fear of public speaking can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Some people get tongue-tied, others experience an increase in body temperature, while others find themselves pacing or swaying on stage. That’s why you need a personalized plan to manage any anxiety.
That’s the premise behind the first book in our summer reading series: Speaking Up Without Freaking Out: 50 Techniques for Confident and Compelling Presenting. Author Matt Abrahams, a seasoned researcher, educator at Stanford University’s School of Business and communications consultant, offers his advice for developing your own anxiety management plan (AMP). With over 50 techniques to choose from, you can select specific strategies that address your individual situation and you can start using right away.
I appreciated that Matt’s writing made me feel like I was talking with a trusted colleague sharing inside secrets. I even came across some techniques I had never seen before. Here are a few of my favorites.
A simple way to stop swaying
It can be very difficult to change the ingrained behaviors that you have developed in response to stress. If you have tried to curtail nervous habits like swaying as you speak, you know that merely trying to remember not to do it probably won’t work. The minute you focus your attention elsewhere you find yourself swaying again. This habit is distracting to your audience and can undermine your confidence. Abrahams offers a much easier solution: simply stand with one foot slightly in front of the other. Adjusting your center of balance makes all the difference. Try it!
How to stay cool in the moment
Do you tend to get overheated when you step up to speak? You might perspire, get flushed, or just feel so hot that you’re distracted from focusing on your message and your audience.
Here’s all you need to help keep your core temperature down so you can feel cool and calm: an ice-cold water bottle. Simply hold the bottle as you deliver your presentation; it will feel as soothing as stepping into an air-conditioned room on a hot day. And it’s a natural thing to carry on stage. One caveat to keep in mind, though: make sure you don’t inadvertently use the water bottle to gesture.
Another idea I had after reading about Abrahams’ advice: try putting a small ice pack in your pocket.
Use hormones to your advantage
Another thing I loved about Abrahams’ book is the way he empowers readers by explaining the science behind our reactions to stress, and how we can use the body’s natural responses to manage anxiety. This tip is a perfect example.
Oxytocin is a hormone that promotes bonding between people, and is naturally produced in your body every time you hug a friend, shake hands with a colleague, or kiss your spouse or child. Abraham points out that you can inhibit your negative feelings about speaking by encouraging your body to produce more oxytocin in those stressful moments. In fact, I do this every time I speak by greeting audience members with a handshake as they arrive for my presentation. Even just thinking about someone you care about can help to reduce your doubts.
Amy Cuddy, Harvard social scientist and author of Presence also advocates using your body’s hormones to your advantage in combatting stressful situations. Her power poses have been proven to decrease the stress hormone cortisol while increasing testosterone that boosts our feelings of power and control.
Use positive distractions
If you’re like most business professionals, you’re all about efficiency. In that case you’ll love this tip that solves two problems with one technique.
Distraction is an effective strategy for managing anxiety. It’s the concept behind my “think the thought” practice: you feel more confident when all your attention is focused on your audience and the message you are delivering in that moment.
Abrahams offers ideas for distraction that also serve another practical and positive purpose. For example, reciting tongue twisters before you step on stage requires so much concentration that you forget about your nerves. And, you’re also warming up your voice at the same time.
Developing your own anxiety management plan (AMP)
Whether you are new to public speaking or a seasoned business leader looking to enhance your communication skills, there is something in this book for you! Using Abrahams’ exhaustive list of useful tips and ideas for combatting anxiety symptoms, you can put together a collection of practices to address your specific areas of concern. He recommends developing what I like to call a “pregame ritual” to perform just before you speak to get in the moment and manage stress. You can also incorporate helpful habits that improve your delivery.
There’s no need to feel trapped by the symptoms of speech anxiety, or to let them rob you of the outcome you’re looking to achieve. Taking control of your nerves is easier than you thought!
September 15, 2020
Reading materials for my presentation class with Matt
December 25, 2023
Great practical tips for improving public speaking. This will be on my shelf to reference every time I need to do a presentation.
February 28, 2025
i enjoyed the audio book. i hadn't thought about streaming audiences even though i know my presentations are recorded. i shall promptly forget them to reduce my worries.
January 10, 2022
Practical tools for effective public speaking! It's a short read, but packed full of great tips to manage anxiety and connect with your audience.
October 23, 2016
good tools for public speaking!
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews