Loneliness and Its Opposite: Sex, Disability, and the Ethics of Engagement

by Don Kulick, Jens Rydstrom

Few people these days would oppose making the public realm of space, social services and jobs accessible to women and men with disabilities. But what about access to the private realm of desire and sexuality? How can one also facilitate access to that, in ways that respect the integrity of disabled adults, and also of those people who work with and care for them?

Loneliness and Its Opposite documents how two countries generally imagined to be progressive engage with these questions in very different ways. Denmark and Sweden are both liberal welfare states, but they diverge dramatically when it comes to sexuality and disability. In Denmark, the erotic lives of people with disabilities are acknowledged and facilitated. In Sweden, they are denied and blocked. Why do these differences exist, and how do both facilitation and hindrance play out in practice?

Loneliness and Its Opposite charts complex boundaries between private and public, love and sex, work and intimacy, and affection and abuse. It shows how providing disabled adults with access to sexual lives is not just crucial for a life with dignity. It is an issue of fundamental social justice with far reaching consequences for everyone.

Genres: Disability, Anthropology, Disability Studies, Sociology, Nonfiction, Politics, Sexuality

376 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2015

About the author

Don Kulick is Professor of Anthropology at the University of Chicago. His books include Travesti: Sex, Gender, and Culture among Brazilian Transgendered Prostitutes.

Reviews

[Amu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Denmark and Sweden are very close to each other, separated by only some kilometres of sea. I've had the image that they are also similar in politics. This book proves otherwise when it comes to assuring sexual rights to disabled people. In Sweden, need of assistance in sex is ignored. In Denmark, on the other hand, there are widespread guidelines and trained people to assist severely disabled people in sexuality. They really work to make sure people's sexual needs are respected. This doesn't mean state-funded prostitution or personal assistants having sex with disabled people. It means advising people about their bodies, providing technical aids, making staying over possible for people who live in separate units etc.

This book is wonderful for many reasons. First, the subject of assistance in sex is very important. Second, the subject is handled with respect and emphasis on the disabled people, just like it should be. Third, the text is easy to understand which makes it possible to recommend it to anyone. It's almost like reading a story, with humour and everything.

What I didn't like was that parenthood of disabled people was dealt a bit carelessly. In other parts of the book it's repeatedly asked what kind of support can be given to make things happen. But when parenthood is considered, it is described how disabled women are talked out of that without going through why this kind of policy is chosen. Maybe the writers accept it as a taken fact that parenthood is not for intellectually disabled women. What about men? And if a person needs intensive support or assistance in parenthood why does that make the whole thing impossible? Maybe all this seemed to be irrelevant for the topic of this book but it that case it would perhaps been better to just leave it out of the book entirely.

The book made me think how things are in Finland when it comes to sexual rights of disabled people.

[Kelsey Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really really well done cross-cultural study. Fascinating on terms of engagement and what we can do to help facilitate helping individuals with impairments have dignity and opportunities to have fulfilled lives.

Looks at Sweden and Denmark.

*explicit

[Mills College Library]

305.908 K9628 2015