I Wish I Didn't Have to Tell You This: A Graphic Memoir

by Eugene Yelchin

"An exceptional work: atmospherically illustrated and underpinned by strong but restrained feelings." —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

In a stunning sequel to The Genius Under the Table, Eugene Yelchin’s graphic memoir depicts his harrowing journey from Leningrad’s underground art scene to a state-run Siberian asylum—and to eventual safety in the US.

No longer the creative little boy under his grandmother’s table, Yevgeny is now a young adult, pursuing his artistic dreams under the constant threat of the KGB’s stranglehold on Russia’s creative scene. When a chance encounter with an American woman opens him up to a world of romance and possibility, Yevgeny believes he has found his path to the future—and freedom overseas. But the threat of being drafted into the military and sent to fight in Afghanistan changes everything in a terrible instant, and he takes drastic measures to decide his fate, leading to unthinkable consequences in a mental hospital. With bold art bringing a vivid reality to life, National Book Award Finalist and Newbery Honoree Eugene Yelchin’s sequel to the acclaimed memoir The Genius Under the Table returns to Yevgeny’s saga, balancing the terror and oppression of Soviet Russia with the author’s signature charm and dark wit. I Wish I Didn't Have to Tell You This shines a stark spotlight on history while offering a poignant, nuanced, and powerfully resonant look at growing up in—and ultimately leaving—Cold War Russia in the early 1980s.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Jewish, Comics, Russia

432 pages, Hardcover

Published September 16, 2025

Reviews

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This graphic memoir broke my heart and stitched it back together with ink and honesty.

Picking up where The Genius Under the Table left off, Yelchin’s sequel dives deep into the dangers of growing up creative and curious under Soviet rule. His voice is equal parts biting and tender, full of quiet resistance and weary hope. The art and prose work hand in hand to expose the bleak absurdities of life in Cold War Russia, but it’s the deeply human moments—an unexpected crush, a terrifying hospital stay, a mother’s protective silence—that linger long after the last page.

Yevgeny’s story is as personal as it is political, a vivid look at one young man’s fight to carve out a future in a world built to crush dissent. This one hit me hard, especially in today’s climate, where truth-telling still comes at a cost.

Necessary reading for teens and adults alike. We should all be paying attention.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving memoir of what it was like to grow up in Cold War Russia in the early 1980s. Definitely benefited from having read The Genius Under the Table: Growing Up Behind the Iron Curtain first.

[Peacegal · Rating 4 out of 5]

A young man struggles along in Cold War-era Russia in the early 1980s. He wants to create, but his art is closely monitored by the KGB and he never knows who to fully trust. The artwork is incredibly detailed and nicely done.

[Meg Eden]

Great story, incredibly timely, not a huge fan of the art style

[Tatiana]

I want to know what happened to Libby.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this memoir graphic novel set in Leningrad (St. Petersburg), in the Soviet Union in 1980, we meet Eugene as his friend’s family is trying to migrate to Israel, and he encourages Eugene to do the same. Eugene is more interested in meeting an American student who is witnessing the Russian Jews trying to emigrate. This is also the time of the 1980 Olympics, as well as the invasion of Afghanistan by the Soviets. But Eugene has eyes on Libby, who he has fallen in love with, in as an off-handed way, wanting to share his world, and wanting to be part of hers.

His grandmother and mother don’t really care, as long as he doesn't get drafted.

The world of Leningrad is bleak, and dark, and cold and sad, but Eugene tries to get Libby interested in it, just the same, and in him.

Depressing, but beautiful, this is a story of dark times, and how people survive them. If you don’t mind getting your feet wet, it is not so much enjoyable, but thoughtful

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review. This book is coming out the 15th of September 2025.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really well done, fascinating, and horrifying. Definitely YA, and older/high school YA, so a big jump up from the audience for The Genius Under the Table: Growing Up Behind the Iron Curtain, but a great follow up. I'm not sure if another follow up book will happen due to how this ends, but I still want to have one! What happens to Libby, how does Yelchin make his way in America--there's still a lot I'd love to know. Illustrations, of course, are amazing and impactful. I would recommend reading The Genius Under the Table first, and definitely recommend them both!

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved his middle grade memoir - Genius Under the Table and this one was just as good. I need him to write another one now about his life in America!

[Elaine Fultz, Teacher Librarian, MLS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Egads, the parallels between Soviet Russia and 2025-2026 USA are glaring.

Even though I knew he was going to get out of Siberia, of the USSR overall, damn, this was hard to watch. But we best not look away, huh? Yelchin's journey includes details about dictators that readers will recognize. Theme aside, the artwork is brilliant and EY's unique voice comes through in the text immediately. Bravo for drawing himself as a dashing, but so skinny, young Jewish man.

[Paul Spence · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a stunning sequel to The Genius Under the Table, Eugene Yelchin’s graphic memoir depicts his harrowing journey from Leningrad’s underground art scene to a state-run Siberian asylum—and to eventual safety in the US.

No longer the creative little boy under his grandmother’s table, Yevgeny is now a young adult, pursuing his artistic dreams under the constant threat of the KGB’s stranglehold on Russia’s creative scene. When a chance encounter with an American woman opens him up to a world of romance and possibility, Yevgeny believes he has found his path to the future—and freedom overseas.

But the threat of being drafted into the military and sent to fight in Afghanistan changes everything in a terrible instant, and he takes drastic measures to decide his fate, leading to unthinkable consequences in a mental hospital.

With bold art bringing a vivid reality to life, National Book Award Finalist and Newbery Honoree Eugene Yelchin’s sequel to the acclaimed memoir The Genius Under the Table returns to Yevgeny’s saga, balancing the terror and oppression of Soviet Russia with the author’s signature charm and dark wit. I Wish I Didn’t Have to Tell You This shines a stark spotlight on history while offering a poignant, nuanced, and powerfully resonant look at growing up in—and ultimately leaving—Cold War Russia in the early 1980s.

I have not read The Genius Under the Table, so if there are references to that book in I Wish I Didn’t Have to Tell You This, then I missed them. Despite that, I followed the story just fine as I read this memoir. I don’t know that I realized it was a sequel as I was reading it.

The story can be grim, which won’t surprise anyone familiar with Russian history in the early 1980s. Yelchin does a wonderful job incorporating art, joy, and humor into the story, though. Yevgeny’s relationship with Libby is halting and sweet. I loved watching them figure out how to communicate with each other and the jokes they developed. For instance, they would ask each other if the other was “mixed up” about them, meaning did they have romantic feelings for one another.

It was easy to feel the tension Yevgeny felt as an artist. He knew he could be imprisoned, or worse, for making art. Late in the book, he is confined to a mental institution. At one point, a scene sort of fades to black, with Yevgeny in pretty dire straits. When the narrative resumes, we learn that he still carries the trauma of his experience but has been freed.

Throughout the story, the narrative stays appropriate to the audience. The illustrations don’t show gratuitous violence, though the characters reference a murder that happens off-scene. The story also notes Russia’s invasion of Afghanistan, and the high cost to human life the war creates.

At 432 pages, this graphic memoir is a little longer than other similar books, but it’s so worth reading. I loved the expressions on the characters’ faces. The illustrations are brilliant. Readers interested in European or Russian history will not want to miss this one.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Wish I Didn't Have to Tell you This is a black and white graphic novel by Eugene Yelchin. This is a sequel to his first graphic memoir The Genius Under the Table although you do not have to read the first one to understand this one. This story follows the part of Yelchin's life as a young adult, attending college and working in theater. He is living in Cold War Russia and constantly under KGB surveillance. He meets a young American woman, who was working with one of his friends, and his life changes. As graduation approaches, he knows he will be drafted into the war in Afghanistan; however, he ends up working in Siberia before being institutionalized. The story follows his life before, during, and after this time as he makes his way eventually to America. The black and white images are easy to follow; they are interspersed with photographs and distorted images, which add to the storyline. This is an informative and emotional graphic novel, good for high school libraries as well. Thank you to Net Galley and the publishers for this ARC.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Difficult to rate.

The artwork is all black and white. There are clear line drawings that remind me of a 1970s or '80s style, layers of blurred backgrounds, and expressive eyes that show all the emotions, thoughts, and feelings that can't be expressed in other ways.

The story picks up after the events of The Genius Under the Table and depicts four years. We catch up with Yevgeny at about 24 years old as he's finishing a theater design program. Art in the USSR is a delicate practice and career. As he begins looking for a job, it's apparent that so much is decided by fear and favor. He displays his art at an illegal showing where he meets an American woman; a far-off war begins and Yevgeny's friends and family are concerned he will be conscripted; and a job offer comes in for a theater group in Siberia. When Yevgeny clashes with the director of the theater group, he is conveniently gotten out of the way by draft orders. An understanding doctor sends him to a mental institution instead of to the army, but that experience is no picnic either.

In the end, the entire story is captured by the title. There is little pleasant here. Yevgeny's relationship with Libby is fraught even as it shows him what's missing under authoritarian Communist rule. He makes it through his twenties relatively unscathed due to luck and favor. His relationship with his grandmother is delightful, but in the end also sad. His friendships are either hollow (in the case of the Siberian job offer) or tragic (in the case of Mark, executed by the KGB). And these four years are related in a way that is almost entirely isolated from the context of the rest of his life. Other than the background shared in his first memoir, Yelchin's life is relatively private. At the end he reveals that he never saw his grandmother again, and a cursory internet search doesn't indicate that he has an ongoing relationship with his brother (who is barely mentioned in this book), his mother, or the American woman who married him to help him leave the USSR.

Clearly there are still more details that would round out the portrayal of Yelchin's life, but between his two memoirs there is a clear picture of a restricted life under rigid government control. This is unpleasant and uncomfortable, but also interesting and necessary.

After reading this, I kind of want to give Eugene Yelchin a hug.

[K.C. Norton · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such an interesting book, and a very hard one to rate. There were conversations in here that I have personal thoughts on, but also... this is a memoir, and it feels weird to rate the 'content' of a person's life?

So I'm sticking to rating the structure and storytelling. One, the art is extremely stylized and atmospheric, and it adds to the overall sense of surreal bleakness. The occasional use of photos is quite interesting. The visuals reminded me of the Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" cartoon, but in a way that highlighted the contrast between those high pops and color and the grim black-and-white of this memoir.

I don't feel like the emotions came across all that clearly, especially in the context of the relationship, such as it was, with the "love interest," Libby. Talking about this in the context of a real person's life is a bit weird, but it seemed like the connection between 'Chin' and Libby was incredibly flat and impersonal. Then again, that might be by design, given the aim of the courtship (as described here) was primarily strategic. The relationship with Libby, as with the other topics that got my hackles up, are presented in such a way that even when I felt some type of way about them still made sense. Given the context in which Yelchin was making certain choices, I can understand *WHY* he did. On that level, while I wouldn't say I enjoyed reading this, given how dark and depressing it is, I'm glad I did. Yelchin doesn't try to explain or justify these choices; he admits that many of his actions were driven by a sense of self-preservation.

I think this is worth a read, though I suspect that how you feel about the art style will be a big part of the reading experience. Rating a memoir is harder for me than rating fiction, so it's four stars for me, with the caveats mentioned above. That's pretty much my baseline for memoir review unless I either adore it or have complaints about the structure, etc.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC. This is certainly an interesting graphic memoir.

[Sally Kruger]

Eugene Yelchin's first memoir was THE GENIUS UNDER THE TABLE about his childhood in Russia and the challenges of living in a small apartment with his family and a number of others all hoping to stay safe from Russian rule. I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS is the tale of an older Yelchin. He is a young man hoping to practice his art and still hoping to stay safe from those in power.

Yelchin describes meeting a young American girl studying in the city. She fascinates him as he attempts to educate her on the dangers of a place so different from her America. He must avoid those who dislike artists and at the same time avoid being drafted into the military and sent to fight in Afghanistan. Yelchin's mother and grandmother don't really understand him, and they aren't fond of the girl who seems to have stolen his heart.

In an effort to practice his art, Yelchin spends some time in Siberia designing sets and costumes for plays performed there. All the while he is waiting for Libby to return from America. He might be able to escape his homeland if she will agree to marry him, but this requires cutting through Russian red tape that threatens to be impossible.

Yelchin's artwork is used to enhance the memoir readers will find full of danger and adventure as he plans his escape to a better life.

[Christina Getrost · Rating 4 out of 5]

A graphic novel memoir of the author-illustrator's young adult years in the U.S.S.R. in 1980-1983. Yelchin displays some of his art in an illegal art show held at someone's apartment, and before the KGB arrives to break it up, he has met and started to fall in love with Libby, an American college student visiting Leningrad. The book chronicles his budding relationship with her, under the strictures of the Communist life he must lead (he's not allowed to go to America!), and what happens when he takes a set design job in Siberia in order to avoid getting drafted and sent to fight and die in Afghanistan. His life is very hard, the KGB is constantly watching everyone and there is no freedom, he even loses teeth from radiation in the drinking water--but of course everyone insists it's perfectly healthy--and ends up in a psychiatric ward, still trying to avoid conscription. Will he ever be free to join Libby in America? Will he even survive these horrible conditions, being medicated against his will? The black and white pen and ink drawings and gray stippled photo art are a perfect medium for such a bleak setting. There is some levity in the early scenes with his grandmother and mother in their family apartment; the grandmother is very funny. I didn't realize when I read it that it is a sequel to his middle grade book "The Genius Under The Table" about his childhood years, so I'm looking forward to reading that one too.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really appreciated reading his story! Covers his life in Russia, having an American girlfriend named Libby, being a good artist, the threat of being drafted for war, his best friend Mark being killed by the KGB for trying to leave for Israel, working in Siberia, avoiding being in the army/sent to war in Afghanistan by being put into a mental institution, going back home to Leningrad and marrying Libby, being denied a visa to America, and finally receiving one and leaving Russia, aka betraying the Motherland. Shows what it was like to live under the scrutiny of the KGB, how different Russia is from America, and the choices people made to survive there.

The text is simple and the plotline is easy to follow. He writes and illustrates in a way that elicits emotion - I felt for him when Mark died, he was being injected in the mental institution, his mother helping him finally get the visa, and he is flying in the air to America. The illustrations are black and white. The chapters are short and aptly named.

I appreciate that he references things that did happen in history, such as the US not attending the Olympics in Russia in protest of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan.

Would recommend for teens into learning about USSR in the 80s or biographies of artists.

[Madeline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a dark, atmospheric graphic memoir set in the USSR from 1980-1983, when Yelchin was a young adult and Brezhnev was the head of the Soviet Union. Yelchin was an artist--a painter--and got a job in Siberia designing sets for plays, a job he took to avoid the draft that would send him to Afghanistan. Yelchin had also recently lost a friend, a Jewish refusenik who was likely killed by the KGB, and he had met and fallen in love with an American student, Libby, who wanted to help him leave the country. For tearing up his draft papers, Yelchin was eventually sent to a psychiatric hospital, where he didn't enter with a mental illness but did leave with, according to him, mania and depression. Eventually, he marries Libby and follows her to the United States.

The illustration style is very Yelchin; it's grayscale and the faces are exaggerated and distinct. While reading this I could really feel the fear, paranoia, and state oppression. It's not an easy or cheerful read in any way, but the ending of this part of Yelchin's story is somewhat hopeful. Overall, chilling.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick and informative telling about something I hadn’t thought to curious about, but was glad to have read.


Seems an important story to be told and is given through a very earnest, personal account. Interesting to see the conflicted nature of Yelchin’s love of his city and the Russian history play out against his emerging struggles with the reality of living in 1980s Russia. As he navigates these budding discoveries as a young adult at the beginning of the Afghan War you see how he is challenged by other characters in this story as well as the reality of the USSR at that time.

Fascinating to see how the generational divide plays out in how the country is perceived. I love the grandma both for perspective and comic relief. As Yevgeny’s story gets bleaker, I find him more relatable and that his personality is more firmly developed.

Though the illustration style can be a bit quick and rough. I like the monochrome treatment and incorporation of collage elements directly from news media. The spread on pg 232-33 is probably my favorite.

[Kathy (Bermudaonion) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eugene Yelchin recounts his experience in the Soviet Union when Brezhnev was its leader. Yelchin was through with school and was involved in the underground art scene. He met and became involved with an American student and thought she could be his ticket out of the country. He agreed to go to Siberia to avoid being drafted and his life seemed to spiral out of control.

I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS is a powerful graphic memoir of what it’s like to live in a Communist country. The gray backgrounds of the artwork are perfect for this remarkable story. I was moved by Yelchin’s story and also saw it as a warning of what could happen in the US if we’re not careful. When I picked this book up, I didn’t realize it’s the sequel to THE GENIUS UNDER THE TABLE so I will read that soon. This is a great book for young teens on up!

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I normally have a hard time getting into graphic novels/memoirs, but this was a one-sitting read for me.

I loved Yelchin's The Genius Under the Table; this continuation of his memoir is darker and harder to read in some places, but did an even better job in getting across the time and place he is writing about and the choices that were available to him. There was one part of his story, in particular-depicting an experience I've read about in other Soviet memoirs from this period-where the graphics and the text worked together to give me an almost visceral experience of what he was going through.

Given where this book was written and published, it's probably not too much of a spoiler to say that it ends on a happy and hopeful note.

It's an amazing work of memoir and art, and a gripping reading experience. Highly recommended.

[Annemarie O'brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love Eugene Yelchin’s art in this powerful graphic memoir. I Wish I Didn’t Have to Tell You This tells the story of how Eugene met his American wife in Soviet Russia, what he endured before leaving, and how he ultimately escaped.

His spare, poignant language and evocative artwork work together to transport you straight into the Soviet Union — every line, every panel, filled with tension, longing, and hope. The art doesn’t just illustrate the story; it is the story, carrying emotion and memory in ways words alone never could.

This is my favorite book by Eugene Yelchin to date — and that’s saying a lot, since I deeply admire Breaking Stalin’s Nose and The Genius Under the Table. With this memoir, he’s created something intimate and unforgettable: a portrait of love, courage, and the price of freedom, told with an artist’s precision and a survivor’s heart.

[Michelle Tuite · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading 2025
Book 285: I Wish I Didn't Have to Tell You This: A Graphic Memoir by Eugene Yelchin

This is the sequel to The Genius Under the Table, a middle grade memoir I read in November. This sequel is in graphic novel format is is not for young readers.

Synopsis: In a stunning sequel to The Genius Under the Table, Eugene Yelchin’s graphic memoir depicts his harrowing journey from Leningrad’s underground art scene to a state-run Siberian asylum—and to eventual safety in the US.

Review: Where the first book was from a young boy’s perspective, all the hardships his family endured in Russia, this book is a young adult perspective and darker in tone. Eugene is troubled, is obsessed with Americans, and badly wants out of Russia. Interesting to get the back story of an author whose books I have read. This book was not as good for me. 3.5⭐️

[Amber Wessies Owrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

A graphic novel memoir makes sense for this author because he is also an artist; however, I think I would have appreciated the story better if it was a traditional novel. I wasn't a huge fan of the illustrations, but the gray scale added to the somber and sad nature of the story.
At the beginning of the story, it seemed like "War and Peace" would have a bigger part in the story. It comes into play some and the book itself is present throughout but I think the metaphor of the differences between war and peace were bigger aspects of the novel.
I also didn't really understand the title. It was an interesting story about Yelchin's life before coming to America.

Thank you Edelweiss, Penguin Random House, and SLJ Day of Dialogue for the eARC.

[Donna Edwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of one Jewish man's escape from Soviet Russia in the 1980s, told with a unique art style that infuses photographs into simple but expressive line drawings that remind me of Road Dahl books.

The memoir is very eye-opening into what it was like to live under constant fear of the KGB, unable to so much as be seen around a foreigner without arousing suspicion, knowing small choices could endanger yourself and your family. At the same time, Yelchin's mom and grandmother provide some comedic relief with their melodrama and strange wisdom.

Most of the pages are uncrowded, just one to three panels per and not too many words. The illustrations have pertinent details, but also aren't usually very busy, so it's a fast read.

[Jeannie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this book! Turns out I'm five days older than the author, so the history as seen from the other side of the world was familiar. Also at the same time period as the account, I was the idealist American girl speaking bad Spanish and falling in love with a "host country national" in South America. (Did you notice my Hispanic last name?) Some of the comments people said were almost word for word what people said to us, and I laughed out loud.

Back to the book, I would definitely recommend it. The history is not ancient, and with current events, it needs to be acknowledged. Although listed as YA, there is nothing (beyond the darkness of the USSR) that would be inappropriate for sixth grade or possibly fifth.

[Alexis Berman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for my Advanced Readers Copy of this book.

What a powerful book this is. The stark black and white illustrations of this book clearly show the despair and persecution that a Russian Jew felt in Russia during the early 1980s. Constantly worried about being forced to fight in Afghanistan, constantly worried that their Jewish friends would meet an untimely death, always on edge because people are always watching and listening, hoping for a different tomorrow but believing it will always be this way. This book is so well written that I immediately picked up its prequel to lean more about the life of the author.

[Marsha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This graphic memoir makes for compulsive reading. Kudos to Yelchin for his brutal honesty. The war in Afghanistan -- Brezhnev's "Special Military Operation" is a direct parallel to Putin's war in Ukraine. Then, as now, Yelchin's narrative portrays Russians as passive enablers of a brutal dictatorship. Russians escape, become brutal themselves, or they let themselves be used as battlefield meat, but where are the ones who will to stand up to dictatorship? There was only one person in this memoir who looked beyond their own personal safety, and that was the American woman who let herself be used to get him out of the country. Well-crafted, but oh so dark.
#Candlewick #Netgalley

[Rachel]

Life for Jews in the Soviet Union in the early 1980s was difficult and dangerous, particularly if one openly identified as Jewish. The world was not necessarily easier for those with artistic ambitions that were not sanctioned by the state. Unfortunately for Eugene Yelchin, he was both. His absorbing and heartrending memoir “I Wish I Didn’t Have to Tell You This” (Candlewick Press), recommended for those age 14 and up, uses words and pictures to present a vivid portrait of that time.
See the rest of my review at https://www.thereportergroup.org/book...

[Holly Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I think Yelchin is genius. His artistry is as honest as his storytelling. I remember Barishnikoff coming to my college in the 80’s. I remember the stories of life in USSR, but they were just out there. This is a real memoir. Really interesting format. I’m not sure it’s elementary level. The sections where he goes to the mental hospital in Siberia we’re a bit grim for 10 year olds. I’m glad he made it clear that he wasn’t actually ill. But dang! That just sucks. There weren’t any images that I found objectionable, but the content itself is more mature. I think it might fall a bit flat at elementary. I hope that Libby was really his current wife, Mary.

[Penny Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the sequel to his first memoir (Genius Under the Table), Yelchin describes his time as a young adult breaking into stage design in the USSR. He meets an American graduate student and falls in love, and has to figure out how to marry her and move to the U.S. Using stunning pencil drawings and a brief text, this graphic novel describes both the desolate landscape of a Siberian winter, and Yelchin's inner desolation in a mental institution. Great for high school students and fans of the first book.