Clergy Couples in Crisis: The Impact of Stress on Pastoral Marriages

by Dean Merrill

Book by Merrill, Dean

Genres: Leadership, Marriage, Christian, Counselling

216 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

Dean Merrill is a former magazine editor (Campus Life, Leadership Journal, Christian Herald) and editorial director (David C. Cook, Focus on the Family) who has written 10 books and coauthored 35 others with such voices as
• Philippine missionary survivor Gracia Burnham
• Compassion International president Wess Stafford
• Hobby Lobby founder and CEO David Green
• Brooklyn Tabernacle pastor Jim Cymbala.
Several have won Gold Medallion Awards as well as been ranked on the New York Times bestseller lists.

His most recent titles have been "Miracle Invasion" (BroadStreet, 2018) and "50 Pentecostal and Charismatic Leaders Every Christian Should Know" (Chosen, 2021).

Merrill and his wife have lived in Colorado Springs since 1991. They are the parents of three married children and have welcomed a full dozen grandchildren (ten biological, two adopted).

Reviews

[Kristi Drillien]

I never had any inkling of a thought about possibly being a pastor's wife. My husband and I have been married for almost 25 years, so this is not something I was expecting to suddenly come into my life. While he goes through the schooling to become a pastor, there are no courses for me. But I've started to accumulate a list of books that might help, on a variety of topics, this time focusing on the relationship between a pastor and wife. This book is full of vignettes of clergy couples who have faced a variety of difficulties. Some were resolved at the time the book was published—both favorably and unfavorably—and some were still seeking resolution. Each account is followed by an analysis by a counselor who works with pastors and their families.

Taken as a whole, this book can be a little scary as a glimpse into a possible future as a pastor's wife. And one thing I took away from the book is that, no matter how much we try to be deliberate with our relationship and spending time together, there may be some things that are simply out of our control. Not being a newly married couple might make some difference in some of the areas explored in this book. We'll go into this with 25 years of experience finding ways to resolve our issues, but also with 25 years of issues that could become exacerbated when the stresses of ministry are added.

There were stories that made me think of my younger sister and her husband, who lived in the Dominican Republic for 8 years, teaching at a school for troubled American teens. And one that I felt could benefit another sister and her husband, who aren't in ministry, but some of the issues that arise in these stories aren't specific to pastoral couples. Overall, I'm really glad I read this book. It may have been published 40 years ago, and some of the stories took place even a decade or so before that, but the truths and advice within are timeless.

[Amy Meyers]

Found this in my husband’s Logos book collection. 3.5 stars. A bit weak at times, like ecumenical and not disapproving of divorce (certainly NOT approving however). It was a scary book, full of true stories based on interviews, followed by a short analysis with counsel by three different academics/ministers. It’s not a bad thing to be scared with the reminder that we, each, are married to a sinner, so we may never stop crying out, “Lead us not into temptation.”

[Petermathieson]

An ebook I read little by little on my phone. A terrifying look at pastoral couples who’s marriages fell apart, overcame adversity or endured hardship and why. One of the scariest books I’ve ever read.