Excerpts
You could tell it was important by the amount of terror it had provoked: terror usually went hand in hand with a strong desire to save humanity, she had explained.
Leman did not believe in luck. She was
convinced that what people experience as luck, or call that, is simply a way of converting human decisions into mysterious natural forces for the sake of reconciling oneself with their
consequences. She insisted that somehow, somewhere down the line a choice is always made: it could be a good choice or a bad one, made lightly or at some cost, referring to the views of a single person or of many individuals acting in concert, a choice made recently or in the distant past. But a choice it was, always, without fail. It was tempting to call it luck, she said, since luck is impersonal: there is nobody to thank when it benefits us, and no reason to feel resentful if it fails. Luck is just denial of responsibility by another name.
'You're a good man, but if you'd paid my bill, I'd have to thank you for the rest of my life. What dignity is left to a man who must be forever grateful?'
If your question is whether I have a moral conscience, the answer has to be no. I don't think of morality in that way. As far as I'm concerned, goodness, justice, humanity, they're just words, the words of resentment, the thoughts needed to express the victims' feelings of frustration, the unbearable sense of being stuck. They're elevated to sound noble, dig-nified, as if there was anything special about us, anything that sets humans apart from all the other animals.
For a long time, she had wrestled with the idea of keeping the news secret, thinking that perhaps she owed him more compassion than truth.
I read somewhere that the root of the word 'humanity' is the Latin humale ('to bury'). Perhaps this is the ultimate meaning of being human: remembering the dead in the right way.
She sees everything, experiences everything - the fall of empires, the rise of nations, the trading of people, war and nothingness, the collapse of utopia. She knows that every action has a cost, and she accepts the cost, finding comfort in the thought - and it is only ever a thought - that she's trying to rule over adversity with moral force. The expression by which this force presents itself into the world, the troubled poet goes on to say, we call dignity.
If interpretation is always the result of ideology, manipu-lation, propaganda, how do I know I'm even thinking my own thoughts?
And, most dangerous of all, isn't all culture exactly that, ferrying the dead back into our world without their consent?