Becoming HER: Straight Talk for Healing, Embodying, and Radiating as Your Most Powerful Self

by Monica Yates

Becoming Straight Talk for Healing, Embodying, and Radiating as Your Most Powerful Self

Are you ready to step into your highest self, free from burnout, comparison, and self-doubt? Monica Yates’ Becoming HER is a transformative guide for women who are tired of living against their nature and ready to embrace their feminine power.

Picture a woman who moves through life with ease, grace, and confidence. She isn’t caught up in the chaos of modern life. Instead, she exudes strength, radiates authenticity, and cultivates relationships that uplift her. Becoming HER is about healing your past, embodying your truest self, and radiating as the feminine woman you were born to be.

In this groundbreaking book, Monica Yates, a celebrated coach and top 1% podcast host, shares her powerful H-E-R
Heal the trauma and societal conditioning that hold you back. Embody the woman you’re born to be, who balances her career, relationships, and personal well-being with ease. Radiate confidence and authenticity, creating a life of fulfillment and joy.
Packed with science-backed insights, raw personal stories, and actionable tools, Becoming HER

Why modern expectations are burning women out—and how to break free. The power of embracing your feminine energy and healing your relationship with men. How polarity in relationships creates deep intimacy and satisfaction. The secrets to aligning your inner and outer worlds for lasting success and happiness.
Whether you’re navigating your career, relationships, or self-discovery, Becoming HER is your permission slip to live life on your terms. It’s time to drop the hustle, honor your desires, and become the woman you’ve always wanted to be.

If you’re ready to heal, grow, and glow, Becoming HER is your ultimate guide.

Becoming HER is about transforming into the woman you were always meant to be.

296 pages, Hardcover

Published April 8, 2025

Reviews

[Mikayla Danielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like much of Monica Yates’s content, however I feel I have a responsibility to be honest when reviewing books that are designed to align the mindset of the reader with a specific set of ideals. My point of view is one of a woman in my late 20s, who works in a career that I trained many years towards, and owns a home with my husband. My career is one that I love but is not my only priority or defining feature. I want to be a mother and plan to start that journey in the near future. My husband is very stereotypically masculine, and I do most of the “feminine” responsibilities in our home whereas he does the more “masculine” as we have just seemed to acclimate to this dynamic well without much thought. When we go out I like to look nice and for him to pay for me. I find Monica and I have a lot in common in mindset, however this book rubbed me poorly.

This book would more appropriately be titled “Defending Men” rather than “Becoming Her.” Monica’s primary thesis seems to be that feminism in it’s conception was necessary but no longer is and is actually a detriment to both men and women. She claims it is our job as women to “make men feel like men again.” She uses cherry-picked studies to basically make a point that says ‘women biologically do not do as well within the patriarchy, so we should step back and let the men lead’ without seeming to realize that this would shift the power dynamics back to the time where she claims “feminism was needed” to combat them. Most claims in the book follow this way of circular “critical thinking” and if you are “triggered” it means that you have a wound around men or yourself. Honestly, I think the feminine and masculine energy talk in popular culture has become overplayed and very dangerous. This book insinuates women should not be readily believed when it comes to sexual assault accusations, trans individuals do not exist in biology or in anthropology, and that when women succeed in education and labor there is a direct causation with men beginning to fail in those areas. Some of these subjects do have grounds for serious discussion, however the kicker is, to Monica, “good men” have no responsibility in “fixing what has been done to them by feminism”-including in holding other men accountable in instances of sexual assault and the like. I think a lot of these approaches lack the historical context that shows when women are forced into these power ideals it typically goes poorly and dangerously. She creates a caricature of “radical feminists” to describe feminists of today (I agree there are some women similar to what she describes who are diluting and redirecting the movement and it is allowing this type of anti-feminist rhetoric to take hold, but the difference is I am fully in support of feminism still today). She seems to idealize the 1950s and 60s, claiming men and women were happier then. She oversimplifies biology and primitive humanity in an attempt to separate men and women’s innate abilities without any reference to the propaganda, socialization, and enforcement of patriarchal conditioning to think this way.

I have liked Monica for many years because she says and shows that women can have it all- family, career, health, without burning themselves out. I love that she advocates for taking help and not martyring yourself. I really like her approach to radical responsibility. I love that she advocates for women to feel confident and unashamed in their sexuality. If she would’ve spent the majority of time in the book delving into these topics, I would’ve likely given it 5 stars. I will still listen to her podcast on these topics and I’m also really interested in her current journey of maternity and will be interested in her parenting. I believe women would also do well to listen to a lot of her advice to achieve personal growth in these areas. However, I feel she is very successful within the patriarchy and therefore has an incentive to uphold it and the men who created it, without considering the broader effects on women.


Updated later and adjusted from 2 to 1 star:
To end, a short acknowledgement seems important that my best role models for “femininity” have been women in or around my life - family, friends, colleagues, and that allowing influencer rhetoric to shape our view of ourselves more than our own experiences takes away critical thought and in a sense our own humanity. Unfortunately influencers have learned that to profit they have to be intentionally polarizing and completely dismissive of people or facts that do not align with what they are selling. Where I hope to find true “modalities” (as Monica puts it) for navigating womanhood, it seems everyone selling femininity has only tactics of rigid and crass “biology” rules that feel more like introductions to indoctrination. Since her book launched, Monica has been more vocal about how women don’t need to be in the workforce if they don’t want to be and claims that allowing men to provide 100% financially is not a liability. This is coming from a person who does not put themselves in this situation, in the next episode reminding us that she is the bread winner. She has also claimed that therapy does not work, but her multi thousand dollar courses do, and that OBGYNs “don’t actually do anything unless a c-section is needed.” Unfortunately for me, when someone starts discrediting experts, that is when all of my alarm bells go off. When they discredit experts and then claim they instead are the answer to your problems, it becomes very hard to take them seriously at all.

[Renee McKinlay · Rating 5 out of 5]

An empowering book all about giving us permission as women to step into the type woman that most aligns for YOU as an individual, whilst understanding how to sustain ourselves without burning out ❤️

I used to be highly triggered by Monica’s work as I was someone who strongly believed I had to do everything myself and work my self into the ground to achieve anything in life and I’m very grateful for Monica and her enlightening work that I am achieving more than I ever have in my life, happier than I have ever been, and under the least amount of self imposed pressure I have ever experienced ❤️

It was definitely a hard pill to swallow at first as I very much was a part of today’s cancel culture society around anyone suggesting men and women are different (but this is simply scientific fact!) and once I realised and understood this truth life became so much easier as I am now able to work with my biology, not against it ❤️

If you are a woman who finds herself pendulum swinging from running at 150% to incredibly burnt out on repeat, please please PLEASE do yourself a favour and read this book! And if you are triggered by it, THIS IS A GOOD THING, hang in there and TRUST the process ❤️

[Ida Herbertsson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for every woman and man out there tired of the current views on masculinity and femininity as well as everyone triggered by the whole concept. I so much appreciate how Monica unapologetically shares her her views.

[Tristen Davis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had the misfortune of reading a snippet from this book. It is poorly-written trad-wife garbage with a smattering of transphobia. Yuck.

[Christopher R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica Yates has a gift for helping women break free from outdated conditioning and step into their true power. Becoming HER is an incredible blend of practical strategies and deep soul work. It’s helped me shift my mindset, heal past wounds, and embrace my feminine energy in a way I never thought possible. This book is a game-changer!

[Lois J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Becoming HER was like peeling back the layers of everything that was holding me back. Monica Yates provides a clear, powerful framework for healing trauma, embracing femininity, and creating a life of authenticity and purpose. I feel like I’ve been given permission to live in full alignment with who I truly am. I’m beyond grateful for this book!

[Chrisjhi G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve done years of personal development work, but nothing has impacted me as deeply as Becoming HER. Monica Yates takes you on a journey of healing, embodiment, and radical self-acceptance. Her expertise as a trauma healer and embodiment coach is evident in every chapter. This book has completely changed how I show up in my relationships, career, and daily life. I wish I had read this sooner!

[Jenna Hutchison · Rating 1 out of 5]

All it took was the first page of chapter 13 to know that this book is a poorly written attempt to indoctrinate women into traditional gender roles as well as feeding into the transphobia rhetoric that is the in thing right now. No thank you.

[Book Nerdection · Rating 5 out of 5]

We live in a world where people are constantly pressured to be better. Women need to be everything for everyone.

But do they need to?

What I especially appreciated in this book was how the author didn’t just say, “Be Yourself”, she explains how. She highlights the pressure women face worldwide but also provides practical steps to help them break free from these constraints. She provided personal experiences, her clients’ stories, and reality based scenarios that perfectly laid out all the barriers that hold women back.

Her writing is engaging and easy to follow. She speaks directly to the reader, making it feel less like a lecture and more like a conversation. Instead of complicated theories, she simplifies concepts, making them accessible to anyone looking to transform their mindset.

The book also offers actionable advice rather than vague motivation. The author describes clear steps on how to create boundaries and stop seeking external validation. It’s a refreshing take that feels realistic rather than overwhelming.

What makes Becoming HER stand out is its honesty. It doesn’t promise overnight success or claims that confidence is just a mindset shift away. Instead, it acknowledges that unlearning years of self-doubt takes time. But with the right tools and perspective, it’s possible.

As Monica says in her book,

“The Choice is yours to take.”

It isn’t about being perfect. You just need to become who you were meant to be.

Reviewed By Faiza

[Ashley Hann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica’s work is SIX STARS ❤️‍🔥 I have been working with Monica on these EXACT principles she shares in the book and honestly my life has taken a 180 in the best ways. From draining and terrible communication to Juicy, sensual LOVE with my husband of 5 years. Manifesting all the upgrades in wealth and business; Dream clients, luxury work trips, and a newfound anti-hustle approach to doing the work that feels SO DAMN GOOD!! This book is an incredible sampler of everything I believe Monica has to offer women who simply crave a life of MORE.

[Karajane Denmark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica’s work is incredible, book, programs, podcast, in person events. All of it. It’s refreshing to know we as women don’t have to do it all or feel the pressure of doing it all. The career, possibly the responsibility of kids, the house and everything else. It’s a lot to handle and to have some weight taken off and to learn how to better handle all the different things throughout life and to be given permission and reminded to heal and to take care of yourself is something we all need.

[Jenna De Kok · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Monica since ~2020. If you've followed Monica's work & listened to her podcast episodes, this book simply reiterates the concepts you've already been exposed to. I was hoping it would dive into more tangible action items for becoming her but was more of a background behind why men & women need to honor & support each other's strengths - which is oh so relevant but wasn't what I was expecting based on the title & description of the book. Highly recommend listening to Monica's podcast episodes over buying the book - way more "chicken nuggets" & action items shared!

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica Yates’ Becoming HER is a fiery, no-nonsense take on personal transformation, femininity, and the modern woman’s struggle to find balance in a world that constantly demands more. The book is broken into three parts—Heal, Embody, and Radiate—guiding women through trauma recovery, reclaiming their feminine energy, and creating fulfilling relationships. Yates argues that many women today are operating against their natural rhythms, caught up in hustle culture, disconnection, and resentment. Through candid storytelling, research-backed insights, and a touch of tough love, she encourages readers to step into their true, feminine power.

Yates’ writing is raw and unfiltered, and that’s part of what makes this book so compelling. She doesn’t hold back, diving straight into heavy topics like the unintended consequences of feminism, the decline of masculinity, and the exhaustion many women feel trying to “have it all.” One of the most striking parts of the book is her discussion on how modern feminism has, in some ways, left women more burnt out and unfulfilled than ever before. She asks hard-hitting questions: Are we truly happy, or are we just following a script handed to us? This push to examine our own beliefs is both unsettling and liberating, making the book feel like a wake-up call rather than another self-help guide.

One of Yates’ strongest arguments is about polarity in relationships—how the dynamic between masculine and feminine energy has been eroded, leaving both men and women feeling lost. In Chapter 13, “Letting Him Lead,” she makes a bold case for allowing men to step into their natural role as providers and protectors, something that may ruffle feathers but is hard to ignore when paired with her real-life examples. She shares personal stories, client experiences, and even biological insights to support her stance. While some readers may push back against these ideas, Yates presents them with conviction and a level of honesty that’s rare in today’s conversations about gender dynamics.

Where the book truly shines is in its practical, real-world application. Yates gives readers tangible steps to integrate these ideas into their lives. Whether it’s setting better boundaries, healing deep-seated trauma, or learning to communicate in relationships without emasculating their partner, she provides actionable advice that can create immediate shifts. In Chapter 7, “Victim Culture and Labels,” she addresses the dangers of over-identifying with past pain and how it keeps us stuck. This chapter alone is worth the read for anyone tired of feeling weighed down by societal expectations or personal baggage.

Becoming HER is for women who are ready to challenge the status quo, take accountability, and transform their lives from the inside out. If you’re someone who resonates with the idea that modern life has pulled you away from your true essence, this book will feel like a permission slip to step back into alignment.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to love Becoming HER and was excited to see it on my library reading list. I was hoping for some helpful insights, but I was left deeply disappointed—and, honestly, somewhat offended—by the book’s content and underlying assumptions. I don’t often give 1-star reviews, but in this case, I can’t give it more.

Monica Yates’ Becoming HER aims to guide women toward empowerment by embracing their feminine energy. However, its critique of modern feminism and emphasis on traditional gender roles felt disturbing and regressive. Yates suggests that the feminist movement has led women to suppress their natural femininity, promoting a model of empowerment that equates success with adopting traditionally masculine traits. This perspective not only reinforces gender stereotypes but also undermines the feminist pursuit of equality.

While the book offers insights into personal healing and self-discovery, its fundamental dismissal of feminism and promotion of outdated gender dynamics make it a non-starter for readers who value the progress achieved by feminist movements.

There were so many quotes that rubbed me the wrong way, but one stood out:

“The complete rejection of our feminine nature as women will not create greater levels of happiness, even though radical feminism keeps yelling at us that it will.”

WTF—really?? Anyway, I think you get the idea.

Not a fan. I would recommend skipping this one.

[Selena Soo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bold, refreshing guide to embracing your power as a woman

Becoming Her is not just another self-help book—it’s a call to embrace what makes us different and to step fully into our power. One of my favorite ideas Monica shares is that, as women, instead of resisting what sets us apart, we should celebrate it. The beauty of life lies in contrasts, and by honoring our differences, we can embody more of who we truly are.

I also loved her perspective that biological differences aren’t just facts—they’re gifts. This shift helped me see how men and women are uniquely designed to complement each other rather than compete. Monica’s H-E-R Framework™ (Heal, Embody, Radiate) is both simple and profound, walking you through how to release past conditioning, embody your truest self, and radiate with confidence and authenticity.

Monica speaks directly to modern women who don’t want to be forced into outdated boxes or caught in constant competition, but instead long for balance—a fulfilling career, meaningful relationships, and the freedom to be cherished and adored. Her writing is raw, direct, and filled with practical tools you can start applying right away. A fantastic book!

[Evie Brockwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love how this book opens a powerful conversation and allows us all to question the narratives that have been presented to us throughout life & question what we truly desire.

It’s super uplifting, and I felt so inspired to reflect and make changes in my life to empower me more as a woman to live a life that I truly love.

[Heather Baardstu · Rating 5 out of 5]

The perfect guide in embracing femininity, and unscrambles the mixed messages society sends. Women are so often encouraged to be everything to everyone whether it’s a mother, wife, boss etc. Becoming HER encourages women to embrace those roles in a way that feels right for their own personal journey. Would highly recommend especially to ladies who would love to see their man lead.

[Claira Spackman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Monica was my personal coach years ago and still my silent mentor - I love her and I love her work.

I think this book has many great qualities to it, but I think it missed the mark a bit on “Becoming HER,” and instead should have been titled “Let Him Become THE MAN.”

A good read that I think would benefit many women in today’s culture.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love love love this book. Monica’s content has transformed my life, my husbands life, and taken our relationship and understanding of each other to a whole new level. I can’t wait for my friends to read this book too!