Undercover Junkie: Chasing Highs, Confronting Killers, and Unraveling in the Chaos

by Brent Cartwright

IN THE UNDERBELLY OF KANSAS CITY'S MOST LETHAL STREETS, ONE COP DESCENDS INTO A NIGHTMARE OF ADDICTION, BETRAYAL, AND LOST IDENTITY IN PURSUIT OF JUSTICE.



Detective Brent Cartwright seemed to have it all-a loving family, a promising police career, and a future full of possibilities. But the grind of everyday police work left him craving more-a deeper rush, bigger challenges, and higher stakes. His solution? Join the elite undercover unit, where he could chase the city's most dangerous criminals. But what started as a mission to do "real police work" transformed into a spiraling journey that would cost him everything.



Undercover Junkie is a raw, gut-wrenching plunge into the harrowing world of undercover policing where the boundaries between law and lawlessness blur. As Brent disappeared deeper into his alter ego-a street-hardened addict named Ricky-he became intoxicated by the chaos and the high of living on the razor's edge. Through high-stakes gun deals, drug operations, and the constant threat of being exposed, Brent's descent into darkness is as gripping as it is devastating.



More than a memoir, Undercover Junkie is an unflinching account that challenges the culture of silence that claims far too many of those who answer the call to serve, laying bare how a toxic environment can exact a toll on even the bravest among us. As Brent's story proves, without the proper safeguards, our heroes must sometimes sacrifice their own humanity in the name of duty-and the cost can be unimaginable.

252 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 15, 2025

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was generously sent an advanced reader copy from The Gatsby House Team but really enjoyed getting to see things from the pov of an undercover detective. The set up is nicely done and continues to make you want more information on what’s going on. The way that the prologue introduces you to the speed of the world and then you simmer down as you read the first chapter made me anticipate what was going to happen next further. I also enjoyed the humorous aspects of the book. It shows a lot of what it’s like to live a double life.

[Emily Guill · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay I hate to say this but, I really don’t like this book! I feel terrible because I really wanted to like it and it’s just not resonating with me.
The author is a retired detective and Army veteran. This is his retelling of his life. You definitely know it’s written by someone with a police/military background just due to all the F bombs.
I’m a military veteran myself and married to an active duty member. I also grew up around the police and detectives, thanks to my dad. I don’t know if that tainted my perspective of this book or what.

[Kendra Job · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a different read that what I normally read and I must say it was a great little break from all my romance reads.
I loved reading about Brent Cartwright’s journey as an undercover detective. I was invested in his story right from the prologue. It was interesting to read about his experiences throughout his time in law enforcement and the mental health challenges that came with it. It’s definitely a read that one needs to be in a good headspace to read with some of the topics. This was an enjoyable and refreshing read that really shows you the other side of law enforcement that people on the outside don’t see and Brent does a great job and keeping you interested and turning the pages.
Thank you so much Gatsby House Publishing for sending me a copy of this. I enjoyed this read and am voluntarily leaving my thoughts.

[Bryanna Bernice · Rating 5 out of 5]

in all honesty, this isn’t the kind of book i would typically pick up and read. i was sent it ahead of initial release to read and review. i’m not the kind of person that can lie about whether or not they enjoyed something - that doesn’t benefit anyone. but oh. my. god. this book was amazing! i finished it in less than 24 hours, I couldn’t stop turning the pages wondering what would happen next! the storytelling is fantastic, the way real-world struggles are navigated is phenomenal. i loved every second of it and highly recommend it to anyone interested!

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Undercover Junkie, Cartwright exposes the raw and often unspoken struggles of undercover officers, capturing the reader's attention from the very first page. More than just a memoir, the book challenges the culture of silence within law enforcement. With a candid narrative, he sheds light on the psychological toll that long-term undercover work can take alongside the contrast of being his true self.

[Lilly Wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is the definition of a page-turner. typically i wouldn’t pick this book up to read, but i’m so glad i did! the grounded-in-realism memoir style combined with the almost borderline fictional suspense was *chef’s kiss*. this is a masterpiece for non-fiction crime novels and the perfect way to introduce yourself to the genre!

[Menglund28 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story will blow your mind!!! How Brent survived is a study in grit, determination, vulnerability and letting go.

[Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

Retired Cop, Brent Cartwright shares his memoir of his life as an undercover police in the Kansa City Police Department as a drug user to help rid the city of its drug problems. His persona as a junkie takes him down a reckless path that takes him in too deep, with very little hope of removing himself from the darkside.

[Melineh Yemenidjian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brent Cartwright’s first memoir, Undercover Junkie, is a no-holds-barred yet vulnerable journey that leads readers through the life-threatening effects of protecting society by immersing himself for years in the world of narcotic and firearm trafficking. Cartwright highlights the stark disparities between his true self and his assumed role of Richard “Ricky” Vaughn Kimball. Brent, raised in a small town with little diversity, has parents who model respect and sound reasoning. Ricky, however, thrives in perilous, high adrenaline drug dens policed by a hierarchy of addicts from many corners of society. Cartwright’s brutally honest narrative is a gut punch of reality to the unrelenting psychological abuse of working undercover.
Initially, Cartwright provides readers with a dose of life in a typical methamphetamine-fueled community called the “Funny Farm.” His captivating, vulgar language paints a scene that feels like a car accident on the freeway—catastrophic, yet leaving readers safely on the other side of the page. The unavoidable violence foreshadows the chaos to come, setting the stage for the introduction of the ambitious, fresh-faced young man determined to honor his military family’s legacy. Cartwright’s real-time depiction of boot camp—its lack of compassion and disregard for basic human necessities—serves as the brutal build-up to what his alter ego will need to survive the mission ahead. This prompts empathy as Brent’s physiological breakdown unfolds. His plight transcends the words on the page, forging a deep connection with his readers.
This relationship deepens as we are pushed, along with Brent, to the unavoidable and unimaginable hell that engulfs his life and dissipates his self awareness. Readers are left questioning the limits of their own flaws and tendencies as to how one step in a naive direction can lead to undetectable consequences. The sequence of authentic accounts bared in the memoir does not serve as stories meant to entertain. They are a call-to-arms for first responders and their spouses to identify red flags at the onset of missions that have the potential to irreversibly devastated those in the line of duty.
This book is as far removed from my life as it gets. I, however, identify with Brent’s struggle to preserve himself as Ricky takes over and processes the reconciliation of his identity while he faces the undeniable loss of addiction to living a boundless life.

[Effy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was absolutely enraptured by this read. I feel incredibly lucky to have been an ARC reader for Gatsby House to read the life of Army-veteran Brent Cartwright, who went from being an upstanding cop to an undercover narcotics officer, to becoming absolutely addicted to the adrenaline and danger that came with it. Navigating horrific situations and keeping the true dangers of his job away from his wife and family meant losing the foundational pillars of who he was at his core.

Cartwright provides a deep insight into the challenges he faced within his own psyche and family as he struggled to maintain a boundary between his undercover persona, Ricky, and the morally-driven “true” self, Brent from his family. He didn’t hold back on showing vulnerability as he detailed key events that contributed to his “downfall” of lost identity and addiction. This book was the definition of a page-turner, keeping me engaged the entire time as he melded deeper with his alter ego and transcended slowly into a situation that led to a psychotic break and wounded friends in the line of duty.

I can only imagine the images that continue to haunt Cartwright today, but just as he himself has come to realize, he is extremely lucky to be alive. Take his story as a sign to check on your friends who have been deployed, who have seen combat, who work as first-responders or front-lines, etc. They may look like they’re on top of the world but look for the subtle calls for help that they may not be able to articulate.

[Izzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

PSA: Please read the whole thing, I have many good thoughts about this book…don’t let what I’m about to start with drive you away.
Anyway, I was sent an advanced copy by Gatbsy House Publushing, and I can say, this took me a long time to finish. Not because it’s bad, but because the writing gets a bit jumbled at certain points. He’ll go from one topic to another and then back to the original topic. That was one of the first things I noticed. However, I love that you can see his writing start to flow throughout the book. I can’t imagine how hard this was to write, to replay all of your trauma for months and months and describe it to the world. I have much respect for how raw and honest Brent is. He has a way of creating the image right in your mind. To imagine the cases he dealt with, the near-death experiences he felt nothing for at the time. This book isn’t just about his experience as an undercover cop, it’s about the mere fact that addicts aren’t just drug-users. It describes the life-lesson many of us learn that sometimes you don’t realize how bad something has gotten until something else catastrophic happens. The lesson that you can’t help yourself unless you reallyyy want to. It took him many, many years to reach the point of not only seeking help, but doing the work to understand the amount of trauma he endured. He lives with it every day and is created art with it. No matter if this is my usual genre or not, or whether the writing gets iffy at some points or not, this is a beautiful story.

[Brian Reeves · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing and powerful. I started reading it for the stories but quickly found the message behind the scenes was much more profound. I found my own inner Ricky and could relate though I am so far removed from anything like this experience. This is such a great read and one that everyone truly needs to take in. It will captivate you, and have you open your eyes to your own loss of self. I cannot recommend this book enough. Just so well done and on such important topics that all of those who serve need to read.

[Jae Bae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not one to usually read books like this, but this book was definitely something else. This broke my attention the moment it started. Seeing what a place I live so close to has within it made it scarier yet more interesting. This will always be a book I'll recommend to everyone.

[Catherine Torkelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent and riveting exploration of identity, masculinity, and police culture. Cartwright's adventures are exciting, but what's truly inspiring is his mental and emotional journey.

[Abhilasha Mishra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never have I read a memoir that was such a straight shooter. The author has so much to say, so many adventures and adrenaline stories to share that we jump from one incident to another, all of it mostly breath holding, violent at times and sometimes downright scary. In it's writing style, the book was like chatting with a friend who recollects and reminisces about the person he was and the experiences that made him the man he has become.

As an action adventure, the ride is wild but from a psychological perspective Brent's Cartwright's Undercover Junkie has a lot to say. There are moments of push and pull between the good and bad side of one man. And all of it was raw- the inner demons, early years of him, the eagerness of the thrill that stuck like a coin's tail to his sense of responsibility. Even side of him that were humbled violently were on display.

As a non-resident person in US, some of the things were relatable as a global experience while others made it hard to connect.

Going in, there were parts where I didn't like the person in the beginning of the book but as I kept reading, my respect for him grew despite my constant struggle to accept his POV of the world around him. We see the experiences that made the man who he is now- someone full of responsibility for his community, a good father and a wise human.

The undercover parts of it- totally took me by the throat. Riveting! And knowing his family existed on the other side of what he was going through made my heart jump in my throat some times.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Undercover Junkie” provides a front seat to the psychological tightrope walked by those who serve in law enforcement, specifically in the complicated world of undercover work. Brent skillfully weaves humor throughout the story, even during the darkest moments, sharing a compelling narrative that had me laughing on one page and deeply reflecting on the next. I was fascinated by how the lines between one's true identity and undercover persona can blur, affecting relationships, mental health, and one's sense of reality. This book should be required reading not only for those considering a career in law enforcement but also for their loved ones who will undoubtedly share in both the successes and struggles of the job. Brent's vulnerability in addressing his mental health challenges in a field often defined by stoicism makes this an invaluable resource for breaking down stigmas and encouraging important conversations within the law enforcement community.

[Andrew Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

A riveting fast paced story that takes you on a wild ride. The juxtaposition of a good hearted family man in the worst environment most people can’t fathom is in itself a great story. Adding in the unique personality of the author and true description of life in the little known drug ran communities the public ignores is incredibly engaging. Turn off the Hollywood theatrics, this is the true grit that needs to be known. This book is so accurate on every level I believe it should be a must read for a lot of people. This book is a master class of humanizing every character. It shows not a black and white portrayal most stories go with, but the true grey everyone lives in and sacrifices made. This book is about addiction, and ironically I was addicted to reading this, completed it within 24 hours and felt a wide array of emotions during that time. I want more, and hope that we can continue this journey with the author as to what happens next.

[Megan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really loved the authors note at the beginning of the book. I connected to it in a way that had me hopeful reading this book would give new compassionate insight to how we perceive who we call criminals. Keeping in mind that the government is who made and put crack/drugs into communities and then set the police to vilify and infiltrate, I couldnt get into the book. I will say I do like that Brett writes this book transparent about his own youthful mindset and how hes grown to who he is now.
Additionally, the use of all caps throughout the book was a headache. That could be my personal preference but past the boot camp and military time period it didnt feel needed for me to get the point.
Overall this book wasnt for me.

[Jaime · Rating 5 out of 5]

Undercover Junkie is a must-read for those seeking an honest, eye-opening perspective on the hidden emotional struggles of police work and the human cost of undercover operations. Brent's unflinching honesty sheds light on a side of law enforcement rarely discussed. The culture of “toughening up” in law enforcement prevents him from addressing his mental health, which leads to a breaking point in a high-risk operation. His story provides a look at the untreated trauma many officers face, highlighting the dangers of neglecting mental well-being in the profession. Well-written and thoroughly engrossing!

[Anjel Reyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was lucky to receive an ARC copy from the Gatsby House to read this memoir by Brent Cartwright. It wasn't my usual genre but I'm privileged to get a glimpse of how this line of work impacts real life people, considering I have always been a fan of TV shows such as CSI and the likes. Cartwright delves deeply in the struggles when the boundary lines get blurred and work life, family, and his identity itself face crises. I can only imagine the level of vulnerability to write this and recount everything - is bravery in itself.

I think Cartwright made a good reminder as well that addiction comes in all forms and sizes.

[Christopher Moseley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing, I'm not a big reader but I found that I couldn't put this book down. The way he described his struggle between his normal family life and his undercover life was so drastic. Trying to be a father and husband all while chasing the high of catching someone had to be one of the toughest struggles he faced. He's very fortunate to be alive after going through all the different situations he's been in. I know his family and friends are very thankful for his service to our country and his city.

[Denise R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

An undercover cop. A secret addiction and a wild true story.

Wow, I must say that this has been one of the best nonfiction books I have read in a while!
The fact that this is a true story- one that Brent Cartwright, aka "Ricky," actually lived through - is absolutely mind-blowing.

Through immersive writing, Cartwright takes you on a gripping journey through his time as an undercover cop, full of adrenaline, danger, and constant rush of the job.
But danger didn't just come from the criminals he pursued. As the lines between duty and danger began to fade, the risks became more than just part of the job- they became personal.

His story isn't just a wild story- it's one that sticks with you, leaving you thinking long after the last page. Highly recommend!

[Carrie Trigg · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of those books that you can’t put down. And when you are forced to put it down, you can’t stop thinking about it until you’re able to pick it back up again. The first hand glimpse into the life, and struggles of an undercover officer was eye opening. A persons just doesn’t understand what a LEO goes through while sacrificing their life and family to protect our communities. I appreciate Brent giving us this glimpse into his life and struggles during this time. Thank you Brent for your service to our community and for sharing this story with us.

[Emerald Furlong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this book was unforgettable and thrilling, it satiated my need for adventure and suspense. While reading this book was incredibly exciting, it was also groundbreaking since it shined a light on the mental health crisis within the world of undercover policing. A topic that is rarely discussed but very much needed in our current society. This book serves as a lifeline for those who can relate to it. I’m so grateful that this book exists and I sincerely hope that it helps those that need it the most.

[Sapphire Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having received this book as an ARC from Gatsby House Publishing, I thought the prologue and the beginning chapters were well-paced and kept me entertained with an honest and humorous voice. Though military and cop narratives aren't my bread and butter, as a memoir, it is fairly easy to pick up, and all the jargon is explained briefly and is not overwhelming. If this is your favorite genre to read, or if you are into more suspenseful nonfiction novels, Cartwright's work is where it is at!

[Abi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Undercover Junkie offers a unique perspective into the mental health struggles of our military/law enforcement. Cartwright's recounts of his assignments are thrilling and often unbelievable. It's easy to forget that these are personal retellings.

Overall, I think that the memoir would benefit from a sequel that could expand on Brent's recovery journey and how he handled taking accountability for Ricky's persona and its influence on his relationships.

[Riley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book isn't my usual genre, but it was recommended to me by a friend, and wow is it a great read! Brent Cartwright pulls back the curtain on one of the most sensationalized roles within policing and grounds it in its gritty reality. His journey of being consumed by his career is the basis all people can relate to— losing yourself to a role. While yes, he exemplifies the more extreme nature of self loss, it's in an all encompassing way that anyone can connect a thread with.

[Adriana R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Undercover Junkie gives a rare inside view of what life is really like as an undercover detective. It is a firsthand account of the dangers and sacrifices that have to be made in the line of duty. This book will have you at the edge of your seat, and will leave you wanting more. I highly recommend this book.

[Kasi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Undercover Junkie pulls readers deep into the high-stakes world of undercover police work. Brent Cartwright’s true story is both harrowing and captivating; it’s a raw, unfiltered look at the trials, dangers, and moral complexities of infiltrating the world of crime and navigating addiction in a world where the rules and standards are vastly different than what most of us are used to.

Cartwright writes with honesty and intensity, a true page turner. While this memoir provides a fascinating inside look at undercover operations, it also doesn’t shy away from difficult topics and harsh realities. The emotional weight of Cartwright’s experiences linger long after the last page. Undercover Junkie a must-read for true crime and memoir enthusiasts alike!

[Candace J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive an ARC copy from the Gatsby House Publishing team. This book was really an unexpected gem. It is certainly not something I would normally choose for myself, however I was thoroughly engaged throughout the entire story. It had the perfect balance of grit, humor, wit and suspense.