Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries: Express Your Needs without Giving In or Blowing Up

by Dr. LaToya S. Gilmore

160 pages, Paperback

Published April 22, 2025

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for providing me with ARC in exchange for my honest review.

As a therapist, I have read a lot of books about effective communication so I have a lot to compare this book to. I wish this book would have mentioned it was more of a journaling type of book/workbook. Very surface level information and when the chapter says: “what you will learn in this chapter”—-only way to learn it is if you Google or find other resources. This book did not teach anything new and even when I got to chapters of interest, it was so shallow that nothing of substance was taught.
Only reason I rated 2 stars is because the journaling/reflective questions redeemed it. You are more likely going to learn from yourself in this book versus the author actually teaching anything.

[sea ʚ♡ɞ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Zeitgeist for the free copy in exchange for an honest review!

I applied for this copy as a recovering people-pleaser and learned so much more about myself. For one, as much as I can sometimes let my boundaries get run over, I also have a habit of holding rigid boundaries with those I trust that might be pushing my loved ones away with my unwillingness to adapt.

This review already feels so vulnerable to put out there but I think this is the type of book that makes you take a deeper look at yourself and the way you’re communicating and upholding your beliefs. There are many tasks given to help you reflect and dive into these topics. It’s honestly a really helpful guide and I appreciated the way it helped me connect to these topics.

I definitely would recommend this book and will be bringing it up to people as I spot them struggling with these topics as a good resource, however, my lower rating comes from what I think is a lack of well developed explanations behind things. There was quite a number of times that I do think the author did really well explaining things but then during the skill building exercises, she breaks it down into what you will learn, what you need, and instructions, of which i felt that it was often overpromised what I will learn.

That isn’t to say that what I did learn wasn’t valuable but that I was looking for more of that educational value that breaks down why we see things that way or why we react in certain ways. I always find the break down of those cognitive functions to be really helpful to me as someone who has a hard time giving up control in any situation because if I understand why I do things this way, it feels possible to rewrite them.

Overall, I did enjoy this book and the exercises. I learned a lot and will probably come back to it to reflect as I grow and change.

[Spencer L · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have, fairly recently, become a stay at home parent. Despite having a supportive, equal partner, staying at home has caused a major shift in my sense of self. It has changed the dynamics in many of my relationships, and I find myself shying away from conflict or overreacting when I feel overextended. I'm actually not typically someone who struggles with setting boundaries or advocating for myself, so this is new to me. I wanted to give Communication Skills for Healthier Boundaries a try, just to see if it helped.

I am so pleasantly surprised by how useful this book has been! The exercises in the first half left me feeling both affirmed and introspective. So much talk about boundaries these days is about cutting toxic people out of your life - none of that here. The exercises force you to take an honest look at yourself - your listening skills, your values, your strengths and weaknesses. It was helpful in many ways - I know my listening is subpar, and I also struggle with needing to make myself heard. Dr. Gilmore provides strategies for working on those things. It doesn't feel judgemental at any point, and I think virtually everyone would benefit from this type of self-assessment.

The second portion is examples of real-life application of boundary setting. While not all of them were applicable to me, I found it helpful to read through them anyway.

The exercises can take some time, but the book itself is a quick and valuable read. Dr. Gilmore has done a nice job of leaving out the fluff and distilling the information into actionable, useful guidance.

Thanks for the gifted book, @penguinrandomhouse

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book for review purposes from Penguin Random House. I think it's a really useful book to help anyone become a better communicator and a better person in general. It has lots of exercises that force you to sit and reflect. This is definitely not a quick read. Rather, it's the perfect book for anyone looking for some self help. It's a great book to help with specific situations as you can do any part at anytime. My only complaint is that I wish it was a tad more instructive. It typically only gives you one response example before having you come up with your own. I'd like 2-3 sample responses to get a better idea of how to respond in situations. However, this is a great starting point!

[Terror F · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a super helpful and straightforward read. Dr. Gilmore breaks things down in a way that’s easy to understand without feeling overly simplified. The real-life examples and prompts made it feel super practical, like advice you can actually use right away. Some parts repeated a bit, but honestly, it just helped the lessons stick. Great for anyone working on setting better boundaries and learning how to speak up without the negativity attached. 4 ⭐️‘s

[Daniella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fantastic. I loved the way this was set up with side activities to do. It really prepared me for the holidays and I am very grateful to whoever accepted my request for this ! It will become something I will be going back to in the future for tools to help situations when I need a reminder.

Thank you to Netalley for this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Alycia Ferrini · Rating 2 out of 5]

@penguinrandomhouse #partner
Thanks for the gifted book @penguinrandomhouse

This book gave some tips to serve as reminders on how to say no, set boundaries, but I wish it gave more in depth information. A quick read with some prompts to Addis with self learning.