Cross My Heart

by Shae Ruby

Growing up, we were The Three Musketeers;
It was Tyler, Noah, and Scarlett against the world.
Best friends and fiercely loyal to each other.
Inseparable until we grew apart.
And it was all my fault.
One night between Noah Milner and me changed everything.
The way I saw him. The way I saw her. The way I saw all of us.
I would’ve picked him if he had let me, and now a decade later, I still want to.
Because Noah and I belong together.
The problem?
I’m married to her.

Cross My Heart is a childhood best friends to lovers, coming of age story. It is a military romance with PTSD representation. There's cheating involved. They cheat with each other, not on each other. You'll love this story if you enjoy:

-Angsty, emotional reads
-Right person, wrong time
-Best friends to lovers
-Bi awakening

Genres: M M Romance, Friends To Lovers, Romance, Gay, Military Fiction, Second Chance, LGBT

353 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 28, 2025

About the author

Author of dark romance & toxic love.
Sometimes diverse.

International Bestselling Author in five different countries, Shae Ruby spends their time writing, mostly queer, books that make you feel. Shae's stories come from deep within their bleeding heart, and they let the drops flow into their words.

Shae is represented by Lunar Literary Agency.

For all subsidiary rights, contact Angie Ojeda-Hazen.

Connect with me!

Facebook Reader Group: rubysdarkling

Facebook Page: authorshaeruby

Instagram: @authorshaeruby

TikTok: @authorshaeruby

Goodreads: authorshaeruby

Goodreads: authorshaeruby

Reviews

[alex :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

wheww this book was a lot. we had second chance romance, pining, and groveling — all of which are quite literally the blueprint of what i want in majority of the books i read. however, there was a lot of unnecessary back and forth between noah and tyler. they should’ve gotten their shit together by the wedding, but even that was a bit of a blur. there were many times before then where they could’ve ended up together, but i’m convinced that noah enjoyed being chased and tyler enjoyed doing the chasing. there’s no way we should still be going through this push and pull dynamic by the age of 29. mind you, they eventually find out that they’ve loved each other since they were 15, so why are we still sobbing and breaking each other’s hearts over and over years later?? i kid you not, there was a scene where tyler was 100% ready to be with noah, and noah basically said “no, go be with scarlett.” like OMG WERE YOU NOT JUST CRYING ABOUT HOW HE WAS NEVER GOING TO CHOOSE YOU?? YET HERE HE IS CHOOSING YOU AND YOU DECLINE. then he turns around and breaks down after tyler goes back to scarlett. at that point, i couldn’t even be mad at tyler because noah was literally giving him mixed signals.

now for scarlett, i don’t want to go too much into her character because she pissed me off to no end. just know that she had zero self respect whatsoever. you’re telling me that you married tyler, knew that he was cheating behind your back, and still decided to stay to prove a point to noah. literally she and everyone else around her knew tyler was in love with noah, yet she decided to gloat about marrying tyler as if she won a prize or something. idk what she was thinking but it was so far from the flex she thought it was. i honestly don’t even think she and noah were best friends to begin with. no way y’all were friends since diapers, but that immediately goes out the window once tyler shows up. that’s insane, but i guess it can happen 🤷🏽‍♀️. honestly, everyone pissed me off at some point so i’ll just leave it at that. they ALL had their flaws.

i know i did a lot of ranting, but i promise i did actually enjoy the book haha. this definitely went on longer than it needed to, but the groveling had me sat and that’s all that matters. thank you to shae ruby for the arc. this is my honest review.

[babygyalreadit · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

The foundation and the bones of this book was really good. I was so locked in from the beginning but around the 50-60% mark I started to feel like there was no progress being made or any growth within the characters or the relationship.

They cheated and went behind Scarlets back so many times it became unforgivable and I don’t even like scarlet however one time is an accident, yall love each other and wanna be together so badly. Two times okay yall slip up and was weak but then we start losing count? Yeah yall foul.

I will say the way the boys were written i definitely believed in their connection and wanted them to be together. I loved the romance, angst, intimacy and smut whew it was sooooo good! I just think it took too long to get there (for them to be together) and some parts of the book could have been cut out. Overall enjoyed my time and will read more from Ms Shae Ruby

[Mallory · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ☆

“Cross My Heart” follows Noah and Tyler, who for years have both held long-seated romantic affection for each other, though it started out of a place innocence (we get a bit of childhood friends-to-lovers situation vibes here).

What’s stopping them from getting together? Their other childhood bestie (the self-proclaimed Three Musketeers), and Tyler’s eventual wife (*not a spoiler), Scarlett. Indeed, what begins as a petty-juvenile competition for Tyler’s attention turns into a very real quandary and obstacle getting in the way between our two main guys.

That’s right folks, if you have an aversion to cheating in anyway shape or form, you might want to avoid this one (though I’d still recommend it, if you like stories that put you through the wringer!!)

Part-Dear John, Part-A Love Letter To Whiskey, Shae’s latest MM romance will have you upset, emotional, furious, shocked, and hopeful. I was livid with all three main characters throughout various parts of the novel, and I think therein lies the beauty of what Shae has done with this story: an ability to feel the anguish and longing and frustration that comes engrained in the DNA of this kind of love story. I flew through this over the course of two days, and if you’re anything like me and want to immerse yourself in a love story that’s as devastating as it is beautiful, consider this one 🫢

[Bryoni Jayde · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3⭐️
Emotion: 2.5
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

I received an ARC of Cross My Heart in exchange for an honest review

I have so many thoughts & feelings about this book and it’s one I’m struggling to write a coherent review for.. so bare with me as this might take a while and I’ll probably be coming back to expand on my review over the coming week

I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I loved how the story started and it reminded me of Shae’s debut MM novel Antidote where we saw the characters grow up together, navigate their teenage years and their growing attraction to each other. There were firsts, angst, pining, heartbreak and I was here for it.

This part of the story I loved. From there I have mixed feelings. My heart broke for Noah and he deserved so much more. Tyler was so infuriating. He broke so many promises, each time breaking Noah’s heart. The constant back and forth between them gave me whiplash. I love books with high angst and heartbreak but this felt like I was going around in circles. A merry-go-round of hurt.

Usually I am not one for a cheating trope, however this surprisingly didn’t bother me as much as it probably should have. I put this down to Scarlett being a vindictive b*tch. I couldn’t stand her. It sort of felt like she only wanted Tyler because Noah did and rubbed it in his face every chance she got. I mean seriously.. WTF. Everyone was miserable, she knew what was going on and stuck around.. for what? To gloat she had Tyler and f*ck Noah despite her knowing he was in love with Tyler from day 1. I could have strangled Tyler for the way he treated Noah. His reasoning behind his actions was weak at best. He didn’t want to loose his ‘best friend’ Scarlett but was willing to loose the love of his life. Tyler didn’t deserve Noah.

Overall I did enjoy the story, I just feel like there was too much back and forth between Noah and Tyler. They’d get together, make promises, break those promises, hurt each other and the cycle continued.

Favourite quote

"Ty, do you believe in soulmates?" Tyler seems to think about this, then says, "I believe in us."

[˗ˏˋ mckenna ˎˊ˗ · Rating 1 out of 5]

time of death 21%

omg this book made me so maddd fjksdfjdsk can somebody tell me Why tyler was such a fucking asshole??? he literally dated scarlett because she asked him before noah could damn well knowing he and noah were in love with each other for years but then has the audacity to be pissed at noah about it???? no thank you bitch!! i was getting more pissed every chapter i read and tyler acting so fucking smug and being lovey-dovey to scarlett just to taunt noah pissed me offfff it was the nail in the coffin for this book fr.. dont get me wrong i actually really like the cheating trope when it isnt between the MCs but tyler was just such a dick i simply Could Not!! noah honey you deserve better 😤

[SmutReader17 · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was looking forward for this book to come out so much and I got so disappointed..

**spoilers ahead**

I have to get this off my chest 'cause this was not what I expected, at all. I've seen this book being recommended on bookstagram at least 10 to 15 times, always the good parts.
I knew it involved cheating, but I thought it was a bi awakening later in life and that only then would Tyler and Noah have something.
But no, they've been in love since they were 13 basically, but instead of going for it the author makes Tyler and Scarlett be together (which makes no sense because their relationship as friends never gave vibes of "ohh they gonna date", no she's been a bitch from the beginning).
And don't even get me started on these creating your own problems, cause Tyler was always willing to leave Scarlett (but never did cause the damn guy can't think for himself), and Noah always wanted Tyler to leave Scarlett yet everytime Tyler asked him "if he left Scarlett would Noah be with him?" Noah would answer NO, cause he didn't believe Tyler and cause he wanted Tyler to have, and I quote, "a normal life with a wife, 3 kids, a dog and a white picket fence"

I'm sorry WTF?!?!?

And then he as the gall to complain that Tyler doesn't leave her. (I'm not saying that Tyler couldn't leave her on his own, cause you could have and should have done it).

Also why TF does Tyler take so long to divorce her?! His excuse is that "I need to get my affairs in order, to sell the bar, sell the house" I'M SORRY WHAT?!?!? You don't have to sell anything to get a divorce, especially cause as soon as e sells the bar it means that he no longer has a job, also cause he never ended up doing anything for his life, he wanted to become a teacher yet never went to university or anything, he worked at a supermarket or something like that and then his daddy gave him a bar, the dude really didn't have anything to show for himself.

And Noah finally having everything he ever wanted only to kill himself after is just dumb.

Also, even though Scarlett is a grade A bitch, she didn't deserve to have 10 to 15 years of her life wasted, especially since we know she wants to have kids. And now, obviously, by the time she gets to a point in her life where she is ready to have kids with someone else, her chances are not gonna be the same as they were during this entire farce of a wedding.

Overall I'm really disappointed in this book, and personally wouldn't recommend it, especially since I almost DNF'd it at least 3 times.

[Audiobook S1ut · Rating 3 out of 5]

2 or 4 stars.. Idk. This one didn't work for me. I was really into the premise, but I hated everyone in this book, especially Scarlett. I have no idea why either MC held any loyalty to her, and it was really bad friend behavior for them to just keep cheating with each other and lying to themselves that they were keeping it a secret 'for Scarlett's fragile heart' (news flash, she's a huge cunt that doesn't care about them and doesn't need their protection)!

Update: maybe I did this book a disservice with my first rating, because I have thought about it quite a bit since I read it.

Fuck Scarlett though, fr, that cunt knew she was destroying both of her 'best' friends the entire time. If Scarlett saved their families from a burning building that would be one thing, but she's just an awful, shallow girl with no redeeming qualities. I feel like she voted for Trump, hates women and black people, and that's all I need to know about her. She makes it really, really hard to sympathize with the MCs--She ruined the entire book for me!

[. ݁ abiageal ˚ ༘ ೀ · Rating 4 out of 5]

holy. Im not okay, this book crushed my soul. I loved this story and it crushed every single piece of my heart. 💔

okay I’m actually going to run Scarlett over. she pisses me off (I had to get that off my chest.)

NOAHHHHH OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I literally cried so much during his povs. THIS MAN YEARNED. YEARNED. I loved him so much.

I also loved Tyler, I was crying at most of his povs.

I 💖 Tyler & Noah.

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cross My Heart

KU Read
353 Pages
Long Span Story (16 years)
Childhood Friends
MM Romance
Bi-Awakening
PTSD Rep
Always Been Him

I like that this story is broken into 3 parts, the childhood years really set the scene and you can see how things are gonna go and where they are gonna go wrong. There were times I wanted to shout at the MMC's and also the third party (IYKYK). Even though I felt for her sometimes, other times I just wanted to shake her. Anyway, my heart broke repeatedly in this book, which, of course is a sign of a good story and I want to share that trauma, so I highly recommend it to everyone... :-D

[Cyndy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up
This is weird for me. I was so annoyed by the internal dialogue (maybe by now we all know I hate hate hate all the internal monologue) and the back and forth between Noah and Tyler was ridiculous. The weird part for me is I didn’t want to quit reading (and I always DNF when there’s too much internal dialogue) and I loved these two. I didn’t want to put the book down although I definitely skimmed a few times (you know, because of allllll the internal dialogue). So ya…3.5 rounded up. I loved these two.

[Jennifer Ruggles · Rating 5 out of 5]

ℂ𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕤 𝕄𝕪 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 ℝ𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨

“Promise you’ll wait for me.”
“Ⓒⓡⓞⓢⓢ ⓜⓨ ⓗⓔⓐⓡⓣ.”

"𝖳𝗒, 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗅𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌?" 𝖳𝗒𝗅𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗆𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌, 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝖺𝗒𝗌, "𝖨 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗎𝗌."

"𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜. 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚋, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜."

Shae once again has crushed my heart & soul. This book drips with angst & passion that is palpable. I am not typically for the cheating trope so it was a bit hard to experience, mostly because of the way Shae writes, I felt it was all happening to me. I wanted to hold each of these characters and tell them it would all be alright if they could just let go. I don’t want to give too many details because I feel it’s best experienced going in raw. 🤭

Shae I love you with my whole heart and I’m so proud of you! This book is super special and I’m so grateful I got to be a part of it!! Keep going baby!!!!

[bookdiaryofyana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book....

I got the opportunity to arc read this book.
This is the story anout Noah and Tyler. They met when they were friends and they became inseparable immediately together with their other best friends Scarlett. Because of all the things unspoken Tyler and Noah never became a thing but there was always tension and that doesn't change even tho Tyler is getting into a relationship with Scarlett.

This book felt so close to my heart tbh! The relationship between Tyler and Noah felt a little like my own personal life and how my rel with my husband started. I relate so much with Noah and i see my husband in Tyler.

This book is angsty, heartbreaking and was healing for me at the same time! @Author Shae Ruby you really made something spectacular!!! I'm obsessed and i need this on my bookshelves immediately!!

relisten: EVEN BETTER AND MORE EMOTIONAL WITH THE AUDIO!!!!

[Leandra Parsons · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC

Quote~ “For ten years, I’ve wished for you. For sixteen, if I’m being honest. I just didn’t know what it meant back then. But I do now. And I don’t want to waste another moment. I want it all—the house, the kids, us. So yes, Noah, I’ll marry you. It’s us forever—us against the world. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I absolutely loved this book! Tyler and Noah have a place in my heart. Noah endured 16 years of pain from not being loved fully back by Tyler. The built up was perfect. While this started messy the end was not. I’m so glad Tyler found his backbone. Everything with Noah in part 3 made me stressed. My face dropped when I realized he tried to kill himself. Just as they got together like how are you gonna do that to Tyler. But he was hurting so bad and I with I could have gave him a hug. The spice was spicing. One of the worst characters I’ve read in a while is Scarlett. She knew Noah liked Tyler and then she went around and took him for herself. Now I may be biased because I love Tyler and Noah but I think Scarlett did it more as for competition. Because whenever she could she bragged to Noah about wining Tyler and getting him fully. She also came between them multiple times at certain moments in their younger years when she didn’t even like him that much. She KNEW. The whole time. And when she could see he was miserable, she kept going. Why couldn’t she have left him, she said she was miserable and crying basically 24/7 WHY DIDN’T you leave him first. You helped cause his issues by not setting him free. I feel like she tried to trap him a baby. I’m so glad t hey never took that step, I would have crashed out. Did she deserve to get cheated on? No but she or Tyler could have ended it sooner. Noah’s parents dying made my heart hurt. I loved them. I loved this book but Scarlett really irked my soul.

[★ Reshika · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC REVIEW

♾️⭐️

First of all thank you Shae for the Arc I’m very grateful to read her books because she makes me feel so many emotions!

I don’t know how Shae does it but she plays with our emotions *cries* like literally the roller coaster of emotions I went through reading this book is insane
The second chance the pining the grief the pain everything was amazing

Noah I felt so sad for him he was literally struggling so bad from the start, the way he had to watch his love be together with someone else it was really hard and I felt really sorry for him
And him struggling went his mental illness and PTSD was portrayed so good

Tyler that poor man I felt really bad for him like he couldn’t choose and whatever he chose hurt the people he loved
He was struggling throughout the book and I was happy to finally see him happy in the end

*SPOILERS*

I’m not a fan of cheating trope but I was not affected by it in this book cause Scarlet was a bitch i mean girl couldn’t take a hint
I hated how she stole Tyler in the starting when Noah told her he liked Tyler like that’s betrayal to your friend
But Tyler is also to blame he just let her control him
And she knew Tyler cheated on her with Noah but still acted blind to it
I was really frustrated with how harsh she treated both Noah and Tyler
But I also understand where she is coming from so i couldn’t fully blame her

*END OF SPOILERS*

On the whole this book ripped my heart out in the best way possible and put it back together
I loved it so muchhh!!!

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but Scarlett kinda ruined it for me. She was just terrible & my heart hurt for Noah.

[Alina · Rating 1 out of 5]

This turned into a hate read and to be completely honest, I had 60-70 more pages to read. Yes. Yes, I dnf-ed it when I had so little left to finish it.
It was so fast paced to the point it lacked any depth, the writing itself was bad. All 3 characters are dumber than the road. Scarlett knew Noah liked Tyler, yet went after him, marrying him and waisting so many years with him. Tyler an idiot, an asshole that kept saying that he will leave her for Noah and knowing that he has feeling for Noah, he goes and marries Scarlett, waisting her time. And then Noah, another simp idiot that seems he doesn't have a bit of dignity to REALLY reject Tyler and say no for once and for all. "Oh no, but I'm weak for him"...gurl, go sleep the whole day and you'll be fine, don't wait for his inconsistent, complicated, procastinating, idiot ass.

[han :) · Rating 2 out of 5]

physically had to force myself to finish reading this the cheating and miscommunication tropes are NOT it (only reason why it’s not 1 star is because the first 25% of the book had a good setup) but man this decade long situationship had me like 🤨

[Gina Roma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where do I even start?... This book HURTS!
It makes you feel everything, and every single page is worth it. No doubt, this was an emotional rollercoaster that completely wrecked me, and then somehow put me back together again. So buckle up, because this ride has no brakes, and emotional stability? Yeah, forget about it. ❤️‍🩹

It’s insanely addictive but also brutal. From page one to (almost) the very last, it had me on edge, heart in my throat and nerves completely shot.

The chemistry between the main characters are off the charts. Undeniable. Intense. And that’s exactly why I spent more time yelling at this book than actually reading in silence. 😅Because when two people are meant to be together but fate (and their own terrible decisions) keeps getting in the way, frustration is a given.

It’s an MM romance, but there’s a third person in the mix that makes everything a thousand times more complicated. Bad choices, wrong turns, so many mistakes... And a delicious spicy 🤌🏻 it’s all there.

The dialogues and inner monologues hit me deep. Some scenes had me closing the book just to breathe. Tyler and Noah go through it (and drag you along with them), because getting to their well deserved and much needed HEA it’s NOT easy.

But let me tell you that every single page is worth it for that final, breathtaking, heart-clenching, BEAUTIFUL ending that leaves you with the biggest smile on your face.

Thank you so much, Shae, for creating this story and for the opportunity to read the ARC!

[Candice Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this one.
Tyler is a selfish man who literally wants his cake and to eat it too. He knows he is in love with Noah and proceeds to be with Scarlett for YEARS dangling a promise of someday at Noah. His character feels forced to me, insecure and indecisive at times then so forceful and dominant in others. Noah however just loves Tyler and waits for him in so many ways knowing that he will get his heart broken. He deserved better.
Scarlett was a horrible character as well, she knew what happening and how unhappy Tyler was and his feelings for Noah and ignored them and then when everything came to a head she seemed shocked. The whole book is a lead up to the split like it was going to be this big deal and in fact it was a blip, nothing more than a footnote.
Where are the families in this? Tyler’s parents are just ok with everything I just don’t get it.
While I disliked so much of the story I can’t say I disliked the book, it is heartbreaking, infuriating and a story of soulmates and I think that is the point. Which is why I can’t bring myself to hate it.

[Simone · Rating 3 out of 5]

definitely something

I preface this by saying it was a great book and got me in my feels but I got very mad from characters. But let me be clear YOU SHOULD READ THIS!!!!

You had me. I was in. I was loving the angst and the heartache and just …I was in. But then he still hadn’t left his wife and he made it the other guys problem. To the point where he basically gave him a timeline and he STILLL didn’t leave her. If you really want to be whole with someone why are you begging someone else to tell you to leave them…just do it!!!! I just feel like the one guy deserved better. Also the unaliving attempt came out of NOWHERE! Zero signs for this and then I know people are h-orny but you can’t tell me you all immediately think this guy just left rehab and let me pull over even though there are a million things we need to talk about so that he can be active…..WHAT???

I will say up until 65% you had me. This book was 5 stars. But then you took all the things mashed it into the last 35% and said voila.

[Sarina Arntsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as an ARC.

To start off, I just don’t think this book was for me. I personally had a really hard time with the main character, Tyler. I liked him in the first 1/3 of the book, but then the rest of the book I just felt like he was so selfish and I really couldn’t feel happy for him when he finally ended up with the love of his life, Noah.

Scarlett was also annoying, but I felt like she deserved better. There was a lot of drama and the dialogue was ok. Not terrible, but not my favorite.

I will give it to the Author though. She makes you feel things for sure. I could feel the angst, the betrayals, and she knows how to make you feel confused about a character.

I wish there was more in depth character development. I felt like we were missing a bit more detail when it came to their inner feelings and growth.

Overall, it’s written well, just not the story for me. Probably won’t read it again.

[Lizz_reads._ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay hold on. 😭😭 Did I finish this book or did finish my soul? Cause the story of Noah and Tyler made me cry like a baby. 😭😭 Their book is the perfect representation of a the hardships people face when it comes to relationships and when you want someone who’s literally your soul mate but belongs to someone else. 💔 This book explored very sensitive and important topics also it was the perfect representation of a person suffering from PTSD and how it can affect the person. Their longing their hardships made me cry. 😭 It also exposed the topic of sacrifice and friendship and how sometimes when u make the wrong choices other people’s life’s can be ruined aswell. This book was really great and I love reading every single bit of it.

🤎Tropes🤎

Bi awakening
Childhood beat friends to lovers
Cheating
PTSD rep
hurt / comfort
Coming of age

[Felicia Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

Omg! What a freaking roller coaster of emotions. Literally felt every single one while reading this book.

I knew going in that my heart was gonna be ripped to pieces and then put back together.

I just love Noah and Tyler so freaking much. They went through so much to be together. 16 years of loving somebody and waiting on them the whole time.

And don’t get me started on Scarlett. I don’t think I’ve disliked a character so much. She knew exactly what she was freaking doing and it made me so freaking mad. Like you know he is not in love with you anymore! His heart always belonged to someone else.

[Onyx Reads Smut · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book will tear your heart out, and piece it back together piece by piece by time it ends. 85% in you will want to scream and cry again but it will all be worth it. Noah and Tyler have been best friends since they were 12, and eventually end up developing feelings for each other. But the back and forth between the two of them, the jealousy, the heartbreak before they finally get together almost two decades later. And when they finally get togethers it's a giant weight lifted off of everyones shoulders because it's been such a long time coming of back and forth with feelings.

[Sydney B · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was very much looking forward to this story, and after seeing some reviews on IG, I thought I was going to love it… but honestly it was difficult to read at times. I have zero issue with the cheating, or any of the tropes/warnings we had before I started this story. My issues arose with how repetitive it was, and how it made zero sense in my head. How did Tyler and Scarlett even start dating? I didn’t understand that relationship whatsoever. Honestly I kinda disliked Tyler… I felt bad for him, but then it just got old. Like what are you doing?

But I loved Noah so much. He was the saving grace of why I pushed through this story. But really this story just seemed to be forced and rushed. I don’t feel like it was very well thought out because there was no growth or anything. Tyler and Scarlett were still acting the same way they had been since they were 13. This just wasn’t for me.

[Shaista · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cross my heart took the words out of my heart.
you know that feeling when you know that the book you're about to read is going to be fantastic? Yeah, i knew that about this book.
From the start to the end, there was not one chapter nor sentence I skipped. My eyes have never been more happy and my heart has never felt more valued from being so touched with the meaning of this book.
I didn't rate this book a 5/5 as there were a lot of time jumps but they just added on to the pure YEARNING of each man.
My favourite nicknames:
Tyler to Noah---baby
Noah to Tyler---Love

[Tiff Hills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh, wow, this book. ROLLER-COASTER. So many emotions ran high. The amount of heartbreak in this book. The amount of times my heart broke for Noah. Especially near the ending, I was sobbing for him. Sometimes, I just wanted to jump through the book and slap all 3 characters silly. Wanted to throw my Kindle. Scarlett was the absolute worst. Hated her with a passion. The pull and tension in this book, though. Couldn't put it down.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC Review
4⭐️ | 4.5 🌶️

This book was so beautiful!! To be honest I wasn’t sure how I felt about the cheating trope but this was done so authentically. I was able to step away at how I thought they should act and recognize that this could be very accurate for many people. I adored the childhood pining aspect and the tension and slow burn made me not be able to put it down. The communication in this book was top tier, Noah and Tyler’s heartfelt words had me highlighting so many perfect moments. The let me tell you, the spice had me absolutely blushing. Shae certainly delivered, and I highly recommend this as something different and unique.

✨ mm military romance
✨ cheating trope
✨ childhood friends to lovers
✨ bi awakening

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a freaking ride! Holy hell. The emotions and longing over such a long time period, really put your heart through it. But these two, they’re just inevitable ♥️ The deep love was so visible from the beginning, but they are really put through the wringer to get to their HEA. Best friends, longing, betrayal, grief… There are heavy topics covered, so read triggers.

[Reading With April · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐ Spice 🌶🌶
My goodness, these two guys put you through that emotional angst roller-coaster, and I was rooting for them from the start.
FYI, I didn't like Scarlett at all throughout the whole book.
I am happy they got their hard fought for HEA 🥰