Stupid Cupid, Humans Aren't Pets

Holiday Court Monsters #2

by E.M. Dark

Roses are red, violets are blue, and you, sweet girl, caught Cupid’s attention…you want to play Muñeca?

Cupid isn’t a little, sweet, winged creature with a bow and arrow who shoots you with his arrows of love from his bow. He is an unhinged blood elf with a curse that brings chaos and death. He uses his curse to run the Hell humans create and profits off it, too.

But that may bring him more issues as human women start to go missing in alarming numbers. On a mission to clear his name, he encounters a human who challenges and piques his curiosity.

Scarlet Sanchez was just offered a deal she can’t refuse. One that will put her in the clutches of Cupid, El Patrón of the notorious “Los Negros” cartel and ruler of Hell in the Holiday Court.

Cupid knows Scarlet is his perfect pet, a pretty toy for him to use while he plays his sick games.

What neither of them expected was to fall for each other.

Will Cupid learn to tame his madness and truly love Scarlet, or will he abandon her like everyone else in her life? Can Scarlet escape Cupid’s clutches, or will she fall too deep into madness?

335 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 22, 2025

About the author

EM Dark is a Black Latina indie romance author who loves to write dark and spicy literary stories. She loves to write about weird, feral, unhinged, morally grey, BIPOC characters that make you laugh. She lives in Tennessee with her family and is married to the love of her life, a supportive husband.

When she isn't writing, you can find her watching her kid play hockey, binge-watching anime, coloring, drawing chibi characters, or cuddled up with her furbabies Dulce and Oreo, reading a dark romance book or manga.

EM Dark is thankful for the opportunity to share her stories that feature BIPOC characters with you.

EM loves hearing from her readers! You can reach her on social media or at authoremiliadark@gmail.com

Instagram: authoremdark
TikTok: authoremdark

Reviews

[Lola Jansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark, spicy, and mischievous.
Enjoyed this book, but some parts felt rushed or a little confusing.
Likable characters and the spice is very spicy
Good read

[Bria Boyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh lord 🫠😭 this man is INTENSE but he just wants to be loved!

[April Bonner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Check your Trigger Warnings!!! This is a dark monster romance. Ren and Scarlett are a perfect match. It might not seem like it at first, but Ren is what Scarlett needs. Does he overstep some boundaries yeah, but he would do anything for her. He is the burn the world down for you kinda guy. The story was amazing. It held my attention through the whole book. Must read if you are into dark romance. But you should read Gnome in Your Home first, it s novella, it's the first book in the series.

[Angelica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Papi Ren is like Edward Cullen, Christian Grey and the Joker all mixed but more unhinged 🤭 Don’t mess with his Muñequita Scarlett unless you want your brains splattered all over the place…seriously…dont even glance at her. I love how Scarlet grew into her true self throughout the book. With Ren’s help she let the monster deep inside her come out to play and it did not disappoint. Can’t wait for the next Holiday Court monster!

[Brandy McCoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second book by this author. Her first was definitely purposefully smut no plot, this one had the smut and plot. This book has many dark themes so please check your trigger warnings before reading. This is a dark monster romance with mafia vibes. This book follows Scarlet and Ren (Cupid) and their crazy whirlwind relationship. There is pewpew play, degradation, knotting, pierced peen and so much more. Again check your triggers. I just love this cover of this book. This is part of a series and the second book in this series. I enjoyed the read.

[Kimblebee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second book in the holiday court novellas, the first being gnome in your home, while the first book was all smut this one had a decent plot to it as well. It’s giving mafia romance vibes and I’m here for it! If you’re looking for a quick fun read give this a chance!!

[Kat K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was honored to do an ARC read of the second book from this author. I really enjoyed this book! It’s full of spice and it will give you a new outlook on Cupid!

[Bridget Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg I need an ice bath after this!! I want to start by saying thank you for allowing me to read this ARC copy. This book is spicy 5/5 peppers. Please read the trigger warnings before starting this book. This book touches into the BDSM world and dark topics, if any of the triggers bother you I would not recommend reading. I enjoyed this book so much meeting Scarlett and Ren was exciting and frustrating as she kept running and pushing him away. Ren finally acknowledging he needs to be more aware and listen was so touching. I was freaking out towards the end, I was not prepared for all that to happen. I will say Scarlett is better than me because I would have crumbled for this man with the first look. I need more in this world so bad! I can not get enough

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

First book was just a tease. This one will take you to the dark side. The spice is fire.
The connection between Ren and Scarlet is dark but its also the touch her die type.
Strawberry Cinnamon cream.....ummmm....spicy LOL!
Once you start this book, you will not put it down. Loved it! EM Dark has an amazing talent, she will twist your mind! 💜

[kimiwheelielovesbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐⭐⭐⭐
🌶️🌶️🌶️.5-🌶️

Cupid? I think you mean Papi 🔥🔥
When you think of Cupid you probably think of the cute little baby with the bow and arrow... That's not this Cupid. Scarlet is about to have her hands full when Cupid, leader of the blood elves sets his eyes on her. Get ready to be struck by Cupid's arrow and maybe something else. 😏

Tropes:
- Dark monster Romance
- Touch Her & 💀
- Brat FMC
- Unh!ng3d S@d!st MMC
- Lots Of Sp@nk!ñgs
- Joker & Harley Quinn Vibes
- P3w P3w Play
- St@lk!ng (He just pops up everywhere)


TW's:
- Gr@ph!c V!0l3ñc3
- 3xpl!c!t L@ngü@g3
- S3xü@lly 3xpl!c!t C0ñteñt
- Dr!ñk!ñg
- Drügs
- Cheating (Not
between MC's)
- St@lk!ñg
- Düb!0us C0ns3nt/CNC
- R3ckl3ss Dr!v!ng
- Bl00d/Bl00d
C0nsūmpt!on
- K!dñ@pp!ng
- Mentions of Fl3sh &
Örg@n 3@t!ng
- Hüm@n Tr@ff!ck!ñg
- D3gr@d@t!on
- T0rtür3
- P3w P3ws
- D3@th

[Tenasha Gummybear_smutbookreder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ren and Scarlet are 👨🏽‍🍳💋 this is the 2 book Em Dark you’re writing is absolutely amazing I can’t wait to read more from you 10/10 highly recommend

[Angelic · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Let me say I couldn't get enough! A MONSTER DARK ROMANACE OHHH YESS!!!

Papi Ren was 🔥😘 the plot was there, and the spice was soo delicious!!!! This is the second book in the series following Ren and Scarlet. If you haven't read Gnome In Your Home first, I highly recommend doing so. This had mafia vibes, it touches in the BDSM world, and Ren is just so unhinged it makes you wet 😉. It had me hooked from beginning to end!

Like any dark romance, please check your trigger warnings.

EM you are a Queen!!! I cannot wait for what's in store in this Holiday Court. 👏🔥❤️

[SJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did I read this book 4 times? Yes, I did. And I enjoyed every minute of it! This is a wild, dark monster romance, where the smut is the plot! And the spice is spicy🌶️🌶️🌶️
I was hooked from start to finish. The characters are lovable. The author did such an amazing job with this book. Definitely check your trigger warnings. And if you do read this trust me Ren….. I mean Papi won’t disappoint🖤😉

[Dayamarali Espinosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

It a big 5 or more than 5 stars that I giving this.
Omg this is amazing book. 💕💕 I will update my thoughts when I can but all I can said this. It’s a champ and spicy 🌶️ 🥵.

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book as an ARC read, and I absolutely LOVED it!!! This is the second book in E.M. Darks "The Holiday Court Monsters" series. The chemistry between Scarlet and Ren was off the charts! This book is definitely darker than her previous book (Gnome In Your Home) so definitely check your trigger warnings! I couldn't put this book down, between how ruthless Ren could be, the plot twist that you didn't see coming, and the growth that Scarlet has this is easily 5/5 for me. And we also get some guest appearances from characters from previous books. I cannot wait to see what she comes up with next!

[Abigail Vernam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Check trigger warnings but wow I’m speechless!

[Qu33nsara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved everything in the book!!! REN is to die for. And I love how Scarlet doesn't take his shit even though it might get her into trouble. Touch her and die 🫠 oh and strawberry, cinnamon cream!!!!! Yummy review by Qu33nsara

[Emmy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was spicyyyyyy! And I loved every minute of it! My first time reading a “monster” romance, the plot was good from start to finish, the chemistry between characters was intriguing. This book is dark romance so I recommend reading the trigger warnings before starting, your mental health is important!

[Alyssa Hoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

The perfect dark, spicy Valentines read!🔥🌶️🖤⛓️

BDSM⛓️
Touch her & ☠️
Super Spicy🔥🌶️
Unhinged, Psychotic MMC in the best way🩸🧝🪽
Murder 🔪

I really enjoyed this dark, unhinged, dominant, Blood Elf version of Cupid! This book did a great job of balancing the spice with the plot so you get spice & a story📖🔥🌶️

If you are looking for a super spicy, dark Valentines read with an interesting plot as well—Stupid Cupid Humans Aren’t Pets is perfect for you💘

[Nita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Em ate and left no crumble with this one. If your a monster and dark romance loving girlie this one is for you. This Cupid is anything but the cute little guy with wings and cute heart arrow. Ren is everything you could want he's toxic, obsessive/possessive, tall, pierced heart knotted peen, filthy mouth/kinky blood demon. Scarlet is everything the that Ren never knew he needed or wanted. This is a wild ride that you won't regret.

[Missy Castle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this as an ARC! I enjoyed this story with Ren and Scarlet! Touch her and die… absolutely! Some areas seemed to jump around a lot? I got confused in spots..wondering if I had accidentally skipped a page or something. But overall it was great and dark! Check triggers if you have any!

*I did not take Spanish growing up (French) so I had to look up words and phrases said in this book while reading* Just a heads up for others if you don’t know Spanish as well :)

[Sue Embers · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you liked Gnome in your Home you’ll definitely love Stupid Cupid. This story has darker themes and fetishes so be mindful of the trigger warnings. If you’re like me and view that list as a shopping spree then jump into this read. Ren will have you on your knees begging for more. Decent plot throughout with a lot of spice!

[Heidi Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the first page I was hooked and the music that was picked set it off perfectly.

[Chelsea K Rinehart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stupid Cupid, no joke! Ren and Scarlett are hot and dark but so much more! This is a dark monster romance and has mafia vibes as well. This would be a check your Triggers before diving in book. This is spicy and twisted! This book gives you lots of tropes in it as well, of course my favorite of this book was touch her and di* trope. Whew!

[Nicole Jeffery · Rating 5 out of 5]

So happy this book was longer than it's predecessor in the series of novellas! Loved the the push and pull between the 2 main characters. This story brought the heat 🥵

[Corina Deiters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good plot, good spice- some conversational pieces felt off but it was still enjoyable

[DaniReads12 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stupid Cupid, Humans Aren't Pets
By EM Dark



💘This story gives Cupid a brand new meaning💘

Ren is apart of the cartel Los Negros. Blood elves who shoot humans with a bullet aka arrow full of magic, and then eats them.
Whatever isn't eaten is turned into a drug called "lucha o huida"

Ren, Cupid, on Valentine's Day he indulges his feral blood lust curse that overtakes turning him into a crazed monster and purges on the rotten hearted (humans) who do wrong to their own kind, while the good celebrate love.

I'm only 3% in and can I say that I'm in love with Cupid!! "I had built a beautiful library for her to be comfortable in" YES PLEASE!! 🥰

"Ella es Mi Muñequita" made me scream swooningly
The Spanish feel gives this nickname 100000% more hype!!

Scarlet. Fulltime college student who works at Val's Bar at night. In a crappy relationship with Frank, who stood her up from an early Valentine's Day date, met Ren who happened to be at her bar. And made a deal with him!!

PLEASE have an extra pair of panties with you after this read bc MY OH MY!
From the moment Ren met Scarlet, he knew she was what he needed. The tension grows by chapter.
Ren will have your panties soaked with the words coming out his mouth!

YES there's more to this story than just spice. There's also a plot. Ren aka Cupid aka El Patrón (name in the cartel, he is the head hancho)
Is being blamed by The Council for the recent missing women in the human realm.
Do I smell a setup?

Just like the plot keeps plotting.. the spice keeps spicing!
This book has the perfect balance.

[Tracy Booktalk · Rating 5 out of 5]

🖤 I have a friend who told me I have to read this book. I kept seeing other readers gushing about how imaginative this book is, you won’t read another one like it, beyond dark, pain is pleasure, erotic, and more. Yes, yes, yes - all of the above.
🖤 I will strongly recommend you read the reviews, read the content warnings, and most of all have read pitch black romance before. This is not for beginners of dark romance.
🖤 You have heard of Cupid, flys around putting arrows in unsuspected humans to make them fall in love. Take this premise, make him from he!!, an owner of many kink clubs all over the world, into bondage (etc 😉), a monster with pointed ears, bicuspids in the shape of pointed upside down hearts, white wings, muscled, tattooed, has 🩸lust and is obsessed with a human female then you have Ren. Oh and once a year he must satisfy his 🩸lust and 💀 a human. 🤭 yummy in my tummy if you know what I mean.
🖤 Now why I fell in love with this book. EM has let you hear Rems and Scarlett’s thoughts as they go this very different courtship. You will hear Scarlett as she is also enraptured by this gorgeous (but there’s something different about him, oh yeah, he looks human until the fangs and white feathered wings come out) man. Ren desperately wants to mold Scarlett into the female he desires. Unfortunately Scarlett has never been in a kink club before. Her friends had to explain the whole dynamic to her and she was horrified. This isn’t her but why does she have such a strong emotional attachment to him.
⭐️ This is a five star read that I definitely recommend you read!

[Darian · Rating 4 out of 5]

EM Dark this was an incredible read!! Such a perfect Valentine's read. This was my first book by her and I couldn't get enough!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Cupid is not your cute little flying cherub with wings and a bow shooting his arrows with hearts on them to make you fall in love with your soul mate in this book.
Instead he is a possessive, unhinged, and sadistic blood elf. He's dangerous and trouble.
When he meets Scarlet, He HAS to have her! He is drawn to her like no other. The same can be said about her. She is a girl who is just lost in life just wanting to be seen, heard, loved and cared for when she meets Ren (or should I say Papi)
Their relationship gives off the vibes of the Joker and Harley Quinn, so loving and all consuming for one another and yet at times so toxic. But you better not touch what is his! ☠️
They both have to learn so much about each other and battle their own inner selves to make the relationship work. Can she just enjoy the ride and learn to let go while he tries to tame her bratty attitude?
The spicy scenes in this book are so great and so plentiful. 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
EM Dark hit it out of the park with this book and I can’t wait to see what she comes up with next. I hope there is more from our friends from the Holiday Court.

**There are some darker scenes and topics so always make sure you check your TW before you dive in.**

[C.H. Reece · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Dark Valentine Done Right

I read this book back in January 2025 when it was released, but for the life of me, I couldn’t find my original review…so here I am writing it again!

EM Dark has delivered another fantastically dark, spicy, and completely binge-worthy story. This was the perfect dark Valentine’s monster romance. Cupid is absolutely not the chubby cherub we’re all used to, so be sure to check the trigger warnings before diving in.
The story is unhinged in the best way, deliciously spicy, and sprinkled with just the right amount of humor throughout. I loved how the darker elements were balanced with moments that made me smirk. If you enjoy twisted holiday-themed monster romances, this one is a must-read.

I sincerely hope EM Dark continues writing more stories set in the Holiday Court - I’ll be first in line to read them.