Ryan Lee – Il declino di una star

by Lisa Henry, J.A. Rock, Arabella McKenzie (translator)

Ryan Lee è un vero disastro.

In un’altra vita, Ryan aveva tutto. Era un bambino prodigio, protagonista di una delle più grandi sit-com del pianeta. Adesso è adulto, è disoccupato ed è un esempio di decisioni sbagliate. Okay, non ha ancora rubato in un minimarket, ma solo perché è sempre troppo sballato o troppo sbronzo. Quando si presenta l’opportunità di girare uno spettacolo di reunion, Ryan coglie al volo l’occasione. Gli servono soldi, ma soprattutto potrebbe essere ciò di cui ha bisogno per trascinare la sua carriera e se stesso fuori dal dimenticatoio.

Solo che vedere di nuovo la sua ex famiglia dello schermo significa vedere Chase Ellis, il ragazzo che ha distrutto la sua carriera lasciando lo show, e il primo che Ryan abbia mai baciato. A quei tempi, lui credeva nelle favole e pensava di essere innamorato di Chase, e la reunion riporta alla mente tutti quei vecchi sentimenti. Ma rivanga anche vecchi segreti. Ryan sta per imparare che, quando si tratta di Hollywood, gli unici lieti fine sono quelli che si svolgono sullo schermo.
D’altronde, forse non è il lieto fine quello di cui Ryan ha bisogno. Forse ha bisogno di un nuovo inizio.

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Second Chance, Romance, Addiction, LGBT, Audiobook

244 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 6, 2023

About the author

I like to tell stories. Mostly with hot guys and happily ever afters. They gotta work for it though. No free lunches on my watch.

Reviews

[Meags · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

This one made my heart ache in all the best ways.

Ryan Lee used to be famous, but now he’s in the rut of all ruts. He’s unemployed; a total has-been in Hollywood. He’s an addict with a bad attitude. He’s the fucking King of making colossally bad decisions, one right after the other. But he wants more, wants to do better—be better.

When Ryan gets a coveted invite to an old co-star and friend’s wedding, he’s hesitant to let people from that world see him for what he’s become. But when he gets offered to get paid for a reunion special, to be filmed at the resort before the big wedding, Ryan can’t say no when the money is something he desperately needs to keep a roof over his head.

Staying clean seems like a delusional goal to make for the week, but when Ryan reconnects with his old castmates and mends old fences with his onscreen brother and first love, Chase, Ryan begins to envisage a life beyond his fractured past and messy present—a life where he could be thriving, healthy and happy, with friends and family at his side again, and maybe even a future where he and Chase get the second chance at love that they both desperately deserve.

This story was heavy, with some very serious and upsetting themes. Yes, there was a romance element—Chase was an absolute sweetheart and I wanted to give him the biggest cuddles—but their romance ran secondary to Ryan’s tale of healing and redemption, as it should have.

This was one of those emotional gut-punch stories that I often equate to my most favourite of Henry and Rock’s co-works. We’re talking a book that makes a heavy heart but is totally obsessive and powerful in its reading, much like the masterpiece that was When All the World Sleeps. If that was your vibe, this will be too, reminding us all that being broken isn’t the same as being unfixable.

If you think this might be the story for you, I implore you to check the trigger warnings first, because this story is not for the faint of heart.


***A special thanks to the authors for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Washed Up Former Child Star Ryan Lee is an angsty, sometimes hard to read book about a former child star who has fallen into a cycle of addiction and neglect that he can't seem to break free from.

Book content warnings: abuse of a child, sexual abuse of a child, addiction (drugs, alcohol)

I'm going to be honest, I wasn't really prepared for the angst level of this story, but I quickly got into the swing of things. If any of you are familiar with Lisa Henry and J.A. Rock's writing, you know that they can write some disturbing and dark stuff. This book felt painful to read at times, and I felt for Ryan Lee very deeply.

Content and writing-wise, this story hooked me but romance-wise, not so much. I felt extremely invested in Ryan's life and how he was going to get out of his abusive relationships. I was pulling for him on every page, and I read the story very quickly because I needed to know what happened with him. From an addiction and personal growth standpoint, I feel like the authors did an amazing job. I had a hard time putting it down. However, I struggled with the romance part a bit.

I found the other MC to be a really interesting character, but I always have a hard time when the romantic pairing has a backstory. I'm not a huge fan of second-chance romances, and this is for sure a second change romance. When I read one of those, I feel like the characters have a dynamic off page that the reader doesn't get to see develop, and I always struggle with those romances more.

This book is more like the beginnings of a romance than a full romance storyline. I got a taste of romance but it was underdeveloped. There are some sweet moments there, but it didn't feel quite natural for me and actually felt a bit rushed, given their history together.

While this story was emotional and well-written, I don't think the romance is really it's main selling point. However, I love these authors and think they did another fantastic collaboration together.

*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*


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[Papie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ryan Lee is a hot mess. The blurb starts with that, and immediately intrigued me. I’ve always been fascinated with the fucked up lives of child stars. Because why would any parent want that for their kids? In the case of Ryan’s parents, I guess they were just assholes.

We’ve all seen them fuck up their lives on TMZ and US Weekly. From the outside. Being inside Ryan’s head made me want to hug him and keep him safe. And scream. He is cynical and funny and so deeply fucked up and unhappy.

I loved Kristin in all her hilarious fuckedupness.
I loved Marissa. Unflappable to death.
Derek. Sofie.
Chase. Sweet sweet Chase.

The whole story happens over a few weeks, the (second chance) romance over three days. We get a glimpse into their past and into their short term future. And a beautiful HFN.

But I wanted more. More of their past. More of their pain. More of Chase’s story.

It would have been perfect with 100 more pages. Or a sequel? From Chase’s POV?

I JUST WANT MORE. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ancientreader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Er, mind the tags.

I read this for three reasons: 1., I found the title irresistible; 2., it's on KU; 3., I return over and over to the great mystery of why Lisa Henry writing on her own has never turned out a book I could get through, but when she collaborates with J.A. Rock (or, sometimes, with Sarah Honey) the result is almost always solid+.

I'm not sure "enjoy" is the right word for the experience of reading about Ryan's self-destruction, but those passages do a pretty stellar job, IMO, of conveying his desperation and his bitterly matter-of-fact trading of his body as a party favor in exchange for drugs. I did a certain amount of horror-laughing. It's not a huge spoiler to say that he does a stint in rehab at the end and that enough has changed in his life to make it possible to hope his sobriety (I'm not a fan of this word, but it seems to be the only one unless we frame the condition as being "clean," which I outright loathe) will stick. But it's not a foregone conclusion. Ryan's situation is realistically tentative -- I think "precarious" would be overstating the case -- and that rings true.

I also appreciate that WUFCSRL generally steers clear of cliches about substance use disorder, though on the other hand the narrative raises my eyebrows in some respects. Ryan alludes to doing a fair amount of crystal, which how come he doesn't seem to have even a touch of meth mouth? Also, his eventual love interest, Chase, gives him a blowie sans condom, which is not something that would typically worry me, at least between people who know each other reasonably well,* but Chase has already learned that Ryan has done a lot of trading sex for drugs. Ryan has been tested since his last round of addict sex work (and boy oh boy is he lucky), but Chase doesn't know that and anyway there's no special reason for him to be confident of Ryan's truthfulness on this score even if Ryan had told him about the test results.

I don't know how I feel about tough love as visited on people with substance use disorder, either. There's a bit where we learn that (on the advice of Ryan's therapist) Derek, his agent and genuinely loving father figure, has not only cut off Ryan's money supply and fired him as a client but also told him he's no longer welcome in Derek's house. And cut off contact. Oof, I winced at that.

I get it about ending the professional relationship; I get it about not giving Ryan money that he's only going to spend on drugs; but I don't know that I can get on board with denying him shelter. Bear in mind that Derek and his wife, Sofie, are rich, so it's possible to imagine them creating a setup in which Ryan doesn't have access to things he can steal for drug money. Also, this is supposed to be for Ryan's own good blah blah, not a matter of Derek and Sofie bailing because the relationship with Ryan is too destructive to their own well-being to sustain.

Like, I'm not an expert here ... but it's hard to see how cutting a seriously ill person out of your life -- again, assuming it's not for the sake of preserving your own sanity! -- serves the purpose of supporting them in getting better, especially when the illness comes with a big fat helping of feeling worthless.

But yeah, anyway I mostly think very well of this book indeed. As previously stated: mind the tags.




*Yes, I'm aware that I'm less risk-averse than a lot of other people.

[True Loveislovereview · Rating 5 out of 5]

Woww, that was a good read!

From one bottle of whiskey to another, one snort coke after another, and from one f*ck party to another.
Always broke, always procrastinating, and always intoxicated. Sucking d*ck to pay his bills. In an on-off relationship with his dealer, who used Ryan at parties, as a play toy.
This sums up Ryan Lee’s life.

Ryan got only one friend, roommate Kristen, and she’s as far gone as he is.

Once he was a famous child star, that was a long time ago. It ruined his life
He knows he’s in need of therapy, again, still, why should he, it’s better to feel numb.
His self-esteem is below zero.

When the producers proposition a reunion to the cast, Ryan has to decide, whether to go or not. Meeting his tv family, who he grew up with, means meeting Chase again, his on-screen brother who he shared his first kiss with, and who destroyed his career.

Something happened back in those days.
It sounds simple, after a decade reconnect, Uh-huh, not at all!! there’s so much hurt.
I’m not gonna spoil it, there’s a lot going on, read it yourself!

Keeping up appearance, covering up all the flaws, that’s surviving for Ryan.

“WASHED-UP FORMER CHILD STAR RYAN LEE IS HAVING THE BEST NIGHT OF HIS LIFE.” Hallelujah!!

My heart hurt for Ryan and Chase, life hurts, love hurts, being drunk hurts, and being happy hurts.

This was an amazing story, strongly written, nothing sugar-coated or overly romanticized, it was rough, bittersweet, emotional, and realistic and I’m so happy to say: At last, Ryan Lee is ready to live.

[Trio · Rating 4 out of 5]

That was way better than I'd heard it was. Esp the audio version, performed by Gary Furlong.

[R.J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read in a long time. We really get to see beneath the skin of Ryan Lee, and it's such a believable but terrible fall from grace, but there is so much hope, and I couldn't put it down. Excellent and highly recommended.

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one was hard, emotional, and the epitome of hurt/comfort. Both characters are hurting and they find healing together. I adore that

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting premise. Realistically portrays that a relationship isn’t the cure for addiction and trauma. This feels like the prequel to a romance, the beginning of a love story. It’s real and raw and kinda shit for poor Ryan Lee and gives us an interesting view into his headspace as he deals with the aftermath of his life as a child star.

Don’t go into this expecting a lot of romance. It’s more present as a subplot, thats the end game and this is the journey to get it started. It’s still a great story and there is romance there but I think if you go into this waiting the whole time for the relationship to really develop then you may be disappointed. I like that this is real and truly shows the value of rehab and therapy rather than just having the relationship fix everything. No fluff or mushyness here.

[Ami]

First of all, yes, I KNEW what I signed up for. I know these two authors works. I also read few early reviews. BUT, when it comes to signing up to something, the chance of me enjoying it is always 50:50, right? Sometimes I end up enjoying it, sometimes I don't.

Well, this one, I don't ... not really...

I kept wanting Ryan to be better. I kept hoping he stopped making the wrong decision. But at the same time, I KNEW, that it didn't work that way in real life. So I was torn between hating it and applauding it for being realistic.

AND I worried about the relationship. Ryan and Chase only reconnected for few days during the interview sessions and the wedding. And BOY, these two had HEAVY BAGGAGES. Their feelings from one another was from a DECADE ago, when they were teenagers. Would it be REAL this time, amidst those issues??

Not sure.

So in terms of relationship, this one only touches the surface, the pre-relationship, IMHO. They are in for a long road, and I dislike that I won't be part of that since the story is finished "in the beginning of it" (since the authors want to keep it realistic).

In the end, because my feelings are in turmoil.... I'm not rating this.

[Dani · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

Really struggled to like this. The main character is beyond self obsessed and the whole plot is just him going round in circles, which got really frustrating and boring after the first ten times!

Also the character's name is Ryan Lee but all I could think of was Lee Ryan from Blue who's also a disaster 😂

I did like Chase though and I think I'd have liked this more if we had his POV too, because Ryan was just not a likeable character.

[Jazer (catching up on TBRs) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first word I thought of when I finished this book was... bittersweet. This book hurt and Ryan and Chase broke my heart a little. Their stories reminded me of this quote, “So many broken children living in grown bodies mimicking adult lives.” ― Ijeoma Umebinyuo

Note: I won't mention here to prevent spoilers but please read the trigger warnings on the author's note.

The first half of this book was very messy and painful to read. First 25% of it was just Ryan self-destructing and making all the wrong decisions in his daily life in an ugly, vicious cycle which made me want to unsee it. I had to psyche myself to get past it because together with his best friend Kristen, they became expert in enabling each other and flushing their life down the drain. The second half, however, started to feel like salvation until Chase took his turn in breaking my heart.

I didn’t have a lot of practice with relationships of any kind, let alone functional ones, but I was pretty sure the benchmark was happiness and contentment, not passive acceptance of the unending litany of the other guy’s fuckups.

Raw and vulnerable. The truth about how and why people abandoned Ryan unfolded during their reunion and his realizations about his on-screen 'perfect family' were sad and bitter. His memories versus the harsh reality was like cold water and I felt for him. His dreams of what could've been were shattered, everyone weren't what he thought he knew when he was young, and in the end, all the excuses he used to blame other people for his current predicament were just that... excuses.

On the bright side, these harsh realizations gave him a new perspective of how he wants to continue his life. He found out who genuinely cares for him and learned that sometimes you have to part with people you love to heal and move forward.

A happy ending isn’t a wedding. It isn’t fireworks. It isn’t a swelling orchestral score and the end credits. It can be those things, but also, it can be this: just two guys swaying together in the dark and calling it dancing.

Life is not always sunshine and roses so, thank you, Lisa Henry and J.A. Rock for the opportunity to read an ARC of this meaningful story. ❤️

[X]

DNF @ 45%. Too much misery for me - seriously there were a couple scenes early on that were so uncomfortable they were borderline unreadable for me, and I just have less than no interest in the MC’s constant slog of addiction and self-destruction.

I think I was hoping this would be closer to Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callendar (ie, this general concept but extremely rationed and surrounded by a ton of uh non-misery, so that you actually enjoy reading it 😬).

Ultimately this book wasn’t badly written, if you like grinding relentless misery you’ll probably love it. And it’s not that it’s unrealistic - but I guess I don’t personally get the point of it. Not my thing at all.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

We start off watching Ryan spiral further and further down the whirlwind of self destruction which seems to be a vicious circle. Ryan is a real mess, and it is depressing watching him make these mistakes every day. It sounds an absolute blast but it's anything but. It's quite hard to relate to Ryan, you know he says he's trying to get better, says each time will be his last: but a pessimist is never disappointed! As a reader I didn't want to be disappointed in Ryan and it is really hard not to be. This is where having empathy to any addiction is needed. Ryan is an addict, he knows he disappoints everyone and what a burden to have on top of your own worries. This book is writen in single POV so we don't have any idea what Chase is thinking. We can tell there is a really important reason he left the show, but we don't know the reason. Chase is honest with his feelings for Ryan and you can see how well Ryan responds to him. Knowing how this ends, I woud have loved to have heard Chase' thoughts, but maybe that would have pushed the book to being a more depressing read? This is a HFN ending, but everything is looking up for Ryan and I believe in him. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Fedora · Rating 5 out of 5]

WASHED UP FORMER CHILD STAR RYAN LEE by Lisa Henry and JA Rock is hard to put down even as at times it is a bit hard to read. Ryan Lee is the titular character and honestly, he’s kind of circling the drain. He’s not had a graceful transition after his stint as the youngest in a beloved family show, and his real family isn’t any sort of help.

When his former show sister invites him to a reunion, it brings him and Chase Ellis, a former show brother back into proximity, it’s clear that the sparks they had a decade ago have simply had time to keep burning.

Lisa Henry’s and JA Rock’s writing is excellent, getting us deep into Ryan’s pained brain and heart. Henry and Rock shine light onto the damage the media industry can do as it demands more from those it turns into “stars”, and how lasting the impact can result when people care. An ultimately inspiring read.

[MiaReadsMMBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was lucky enough to score an ARC of this book at GLO and I literally finished it saying, "that was a great read!"

Ryan Lee should be an unreliable narrator and in some instances he is, but only because he really is washed up and continuing to do all the wrong things. Sex, drugs and do-over-and-over-and-over agains? Yep, that's Ryan Lee. I love his self-awareness, or at least the self reflection which develops with the story and the way he observes both his actions and those of the people surrounding him.

You want him to get his happy though, because of anyone deserves real happy, it's Ryan Lee.

And so does his former co-star, the boy who walked away and took apparently everything from him, including his first love.

You'll be fully engaged in this story, with no idea where you're going to be taken. You're going to want to both clobber Ryan around the head and hug him at the same time. You're going to love the ending.

[Allyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the story but have mixed feelings about the romance itself. It’s fascinating to get into Ryan’s head. Ryan is a disaster of a human and totally lives up to the book’s title. He drinks too much, does too many drugs, and is self-absorbed. He’s hilarious and sad, delusional and brutally honest. In spite of his many faults, it’s impossible not to love him. However, the pacing of the relationship between Ryan and Chase is a little weird for me. They supposedly fell in love with each other on their show as teenagers, but there isn’t a lot to establish that connection. The romance almost feels like an afterthought. Chase’s character isn’t as developed, so it made it more difficult to connect with him. They have some poignant moments together and have fantastic chemistry, but the romance feels forced at times. Ryan’s friendship with Kristen is way more interesting. The book is so sharp and funny that it makes up for the lackluster romance.

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I finished the final page of this book, after being hooked from the very beginning, I closed my eyes and tried to put into words how this book made me feel. There was pure happiness for the ending but getting their was difficult and tugged at my emotions, making my heart hurt for Ryan and his struggles but also feeling exasperated at the same time.

Yes, Ryan is fully aware of his life choices and all the bad decisions he continues to make. He’s aware of the detrimental effect the people he has surrounded himself with have on his continued substance and alcohol abuse. He carries with him the pain from a literally unreal childhood that left him ill prepared for when it was all gone and full of anger towards the person he felt made him lose it all.

Circumstances have Ryan making the serious effort to be the man he wants to be and to be with the man he wants to be with. He knows it won’t be easy but is at last willing to make the effort and for that I just wanted to give him a big squishy hug. I loved the journey of Ryan’s story and cannot recommend it highly enough.

[Jyanx · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of course I loved it. I never thought I would relate so well to someone who, on the surface, is so unlike me, but I was really able to understand Ryan, his thought process, and his self destructive impulses. I loved how the story developed, and tackled serious topics with heart and humor. Nothing too light, and also nothing that felt preachy or after school special. I appreciated that everyone had their own issues, and no one was perfect. The ending was well done, and felt complete without having everything tied up in a neat little bow.

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

4 stars

When the writing team of Henry and Rock are in the zone, they produce great books. Ryan Lee is a well-developed character and his life is well illustrated throughout the book. Ryan’s parents only saw him as a paycheck and, when he legally separated from them, his agent was his guardian for a while. His cast mates became his best friends and family and since the show ended, Ryan’s life has drastically imploded. He has not seen Chase in many years and has never gotten over the trauma of losing him and his TV family.

It can be difficult to read about Ryan. He knows he needs to do something with his life, but he has no idea how to turn it around.

Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.

[Libra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm emotional! This book was so good. No one writes the heart-wrenching drama quite like Lisa Henry (and her co-authors) and I really felt for Ryan in this. My favorite thing, even though it was such a small part, was Ryan's reconciliation with Derek. All scenes involving these two made me so emotional.

The romance was really sweet as well, the only thing that bothered me a little bit is how fast Ryan and Chase were head over heels for each other again, especially when they haven't seen each other in so long.

[NicoleR.M.M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, this book wasn't very uplifting, to be honest. In fact, it was quite depressing. While reading, I kept wondering when the moment would come that Ryan would realize he had to stop partying for real, and that he had to stop running from the sad stuff in his mind and do something about it, other than get drunk or take drugs.
I understood his life hadn't turned out the way he had wanted or expected. As a former child star from a popular TV rom com a few years earlier, he thought he had the world in his hands. Everyone adored him and his one-liners and how sweet and funny he was. Even when he grew into a teenager, people still loved him. He was one of those kids that grew up on TV-sets. His TV parents were the only parents he ever knew, because his biological ones treated him as their personal money bank. His TV show brother and sister was his family. Things that were normal for kids like him to grow up with, weren't normal to him. He was clueless about the simple things in life simply because things were taken care of in a way that wasn't normal in usual daily life. So when the TV show stopped because his TV brother Chase suddenly wanted out of the show without giving an explanation, Ryan's life went downhill fast. He lost everything he knew, everyone he considered to be his family. He lost Chase, the first boy he had been crushing on, and the first boy he ever kissed.
Growing up in Hollywood when you are not hot and popular, is hard. Specially when you knew a different life. Ryan couldn't deal with it, and he turned to drugs and alcohol to cope. Which wasn't the smartest thing to do, but that was something he realized all too well.
Until one day he gets invited to a reunion show and he meets his TV family again after all these years. He reconnects with Chase too, and that brings a lot of emotions to the surface.

Ryan reminded me of all the TV kids we all know too well - Macaulay Culkin, Drew Barrymore, Britney Spears, just to name some. Their lives (initially) didn't turn out too well either.
Of course this is a romance book and of course there is a HEA. But it's a hard fought one. And one I started to grow a bit impatient with. Because each time Ryan turned to drugs or alcohol again, I wanted to scream at him or fling something at his head.
I felt very sorry for Chase. If Ryan had lead a tough life after the show ended, Chase had it too, though in a different way. And still he made something of it. He turned his life into something valuable. So one would wonder why Ryan wasn't able to turn his life around like Chase did, but I guess that also has a lot to do with personality.

So, all in all this book was quite depressing, but the happy ending, and Chase, made it worthwhile. I felt myself invested, I did want to know how Ryan would eventually solve his problems.
If you're looking for an angsty story, this could be something for you. But please mind the triggers.

[Romanticamente Fantasy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giorgia Nancy - per RFS
.
Bentornate Fenici o benvenuti nuovi avventori, oggi vi presento la mia personalissima opinione del libro “Ryan Lee- Il declino di una star”, scritto a quattro mani dalle nuove voci del panorama editoriale Lisa Henry e J. A. Rock.

Ryan, ex stellina di una sitcom di grande successo con un passato turbolento, pieno di eccessi, dedito all’alcol e all’uso di droghe, vorrebbe ritrovare la strada ma, senza alcuna possibilità di rinascita televisiva, si getta a capofitto nei suoi innumerevoli vizi, accompagnato dall’ amica Kristen, appena uscita dall’ennesima riabilitazione, con lo stesso atteggiamento autodistruttivo e senza alcun miglioramento in vista.

“Stava annegando tanto quanto me, e una persona non annegava in quel modo a meno che non fosse stata danneggiata da qualche parte nel profondo. “

Fin dall’ inizio la narrazione si presenta particolareggiata nella descrizione dei vizi dei protagonisti, delle ambientazioni, del loro agire sregolato quasi non ci fossero conseguenze per le loro azioni, il tutto infarcito da una buona dose di comportamenti autodistruttivi. L’ascesa e la caduta di una stella, oramai considerato solo un peso per il mondo dello spettacolo, prima osannato e poi evitato come un portatore di cattivi presagi. Il protagonista affoga nei sensi di colpa per non essere riuscito in ciò in cui era bravo, nel rimorso per non essere stato capace di migliorare sé stesso, e nelle dipendenze di ogni tipo, utili a dimenticare il passato, anche quando il passato torna a tormentarlo.

Il miglioramento è possibile, per quanto incasinata sembri la vita, per quanto sembri impossibile risalire dal fondo, tutto è possibile, se lo si vuole.

Le persone giuste aiutano ma è soprattutto una scelta che viene da dentro, che spinge a trovare la forza per lasciare andare ciò che non piace e aprirsi verso l’ignoto che rappresenta un nuovo modo di porsi di fronte ai problemi.

“Non potevo nemmeno incolpare lui della mia dipendenza dalla droga. Era tutto imputabile a me.”

Una nuova alba sorge all’orizzonte, bisogna solo avere il coraggio di cogliere le opportunità , anche se fanno paura, perché è solo questa che immobilizza nel passato non permettendo di scoprire il futuro e di vivere il presente.

“Un lieto fine non era un matrimonio. Non erano fuochi d’artificio. Non era una colonna sonora con l’orchestra in crescendo e i titoli di coda. Potevano essere quelle cose, ma poteva anche essere quello: solo due ragazzi che si muovevano insieme a ritmo di musica nell’oscurità e che lo chiamavano ballare.”

[Sheena · Rating 4 out of 5]

"WASHED-UP FORMER CHILD STAR RYAN LEE SEEN ENTERING TREATMENT FACILITY.
In a Toyota Corolla, which was the worst part."

Ryan Lee is a mess when we meet him, stuck in a downward spiral, with no good ending in sight for him. He's beyond frustrating at times, I was so torn between wanting to give him a hug or a smack on the ear for being so silly. That's the nature of addiction though, even though he knows it's all wrong, he can't help himself but do it anyway. The first half of the book is a very tough read, things are very dark for Ryan with seemingly no way out. His relationship with his best friend Kristen is at best enabling, and at worst completely destructive.

This is less a romance story and more the story of Ryan's spiral and crash, yet ultimately it's hopeful. It's tough at times, but I always felt Ryan would come out of it eventually, he just had to want do it for himself. I loved the story, and how it was written with the headlines showing Ryan's state of mind. Chase had his own demons to conquer, and I kind of admired his courage to at least attempt to face them head on. I loved Ryan and Chase together, and loved that they both realise they had a lot of things to come to terms with alone before building something together.

"WASHED-UP FORMER CHILD STAR RYAN LEE IS HOME."

It's ultimately a hopeful story, though. It's not all bleak, there is some humour to be had here and hope, too. There's a real sense of better things to come for both Ryan and Chase, and while it's not really a HEA, it's more HFN but I like to think they worked through it and did get that HEA, hard won. I really enjoyed this, and it kept me turning the pages.

I received an ARC and this is my honest review.

[Cleo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Compelling, angsty second chance mm that works much better as a story of personal growth and the beginning of recovery than as a romance.

Content warnings
addiction (on page), abusive relationship (on page), sexual assault (on page, secondary character), childhood sexual abuse (off page, in past)


Edited to add: Be warned - it’s very heavy – I was expecting the addiction heaviness from the blurb but there’s other stuff I wasn’t prepared for. I'm still not sure if I recommend it - it was compelling but not particularly enjoyable to read.

[raccoon reader]

Okay....
Soo....
I don't even know how to rate this one. It was so ...weird... The voice acting is... OTT but also, kinda on brand for how the book is written. It makes sense it just isn't a style I was used to.

I also unapologetically admit I hate "famous" romances. Like, rock stars, billionaires, famous actors...they just aren't my cup of tea. Yet I always end up reading a few a year because they're ubiquitous and hard to avoid sometimes. This one had come across my TBR because I was looking for a very specific request and someone had said "oh here, this book has that." I'm beginning to think that none of the books rec'd to me on that list actually have what I'm looking for. Maybe I should yeet the whole list.

Okay, back to this book. The narration choice was interesting but very different. The themes were pretty sad and dark and depressing and you get a HFN not a HEA which fuck that I want an HEA. I live in a HFN. I don't need that bs in my fiction. I don't think I would recommend this to any of my friends unless they just loved stories about addiction, poor life choices, abuse, etc. Just..not my cup of tea. So I'm going to refrain from rating it.

[Trift · Rating 4 out of 5]

A kind, sometimes funny and yet sometimes hard to read story of an addict at rock bottom. Ryan spends a large chunk of this book hating himself for hitting his rock bottom and yet being unable to get himself out, which is both difficult to read sometimes and yet ultimately, I found to be pretty accurate with my own experience with loved ones and substance abuse.

I really loved Ryan. I enjoyed his narrative, which is very dry, sardonic and self-deprecating. There’s large chunks of this where I laughed out loud. It’s honestly a brand of humor I’ve not seen from these authors before but I really enjoyed. And finally, when Ryan does start to pick himself up, it’s very rewarding and very sweet.

The love story between him and Chase is a side plot. Really, the focus here is Ryan’s own character arc and his struggle with addiction.

I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[notachance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my goood, this was a lot. It’s not really a romance - there’s a love interest and a HFN, sure, but it’s like 95% Ryan hitting rock bottom and his attempts to claw himself out. We see as much of his ex/drug dealer as we do Chase. There’s a lot of dark stuff in here, but also a lot of humour. The cast is great, and I found Ryan really likeable, but I’m also not sure I’d want to spend any more time with him.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given an arc in exchange for an honest review.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I was a bit nervous going in because I'm not a huge fan of rich or famous MC's...but I do love Lisa Henry and J.A. Rock's writing. I needn't have worried because, well, it was written by Lisa Henry and J.A. Rock so of course I loved it.
This book contained the authors' trademark sense of humour that make their books so readable. Sometimes in this tale it's subtle, sometimes not so much, but always funny.
I loved that Ryan was so obviously flawed, I detest "perfect" characters. I loved the chaotic friendship between Ryan and Kristen. The dynamics of friends is pretty much my favourite thing in most books. I hate it when it feels forced and convenient and Ryan and Kristen didn't have that. It was real and I loved it.
The romance was perfect too. Just like everything else in Ryan's life it was messy and so completely imperfect it worked beautifully.
For an easy summer read that will make you smile and laugh out loud I highly recommend this book.

[Lingovise · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5… very well written; a difficult read.