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The Missionary Kids: Unmasking the Myths of White Evangelicalism
What do we learn about white evangelicalism from those raised by its heroes? From historian Holly Berkley Fletcher, herself a missionary kid, comes this first-of-its-kind examination of how the experiences of missionary kids illuminate broader currents in American Christianity.
As sidekicks to their parents' and churches' ambitions, missionary kids (MKs) face questions many white Christians eventually about God's calling, sacrifice, faith, privilege, racism, abuse, and what belonging means. In The Missionary Kids, Fletcher reveals how MKs have intimate access to the movement's logic, longings, and ideals.
With penetrating research, sly wit, and an empathic gaze, Fletcher lays bare complicated emotions and troublesome truths. She investigates how calling, multiculturalism, saints, and indispensability can distract white American Christians from their own tradition's sins and failures. Drawing on her experience as a Southern Baptist MK in Kenya, on conversations with other missionary kids, and on the work of psychologists, historians, missiologists, and researchers, Fletcher paints an intricate portrait of family life on the front lines of the missionary movement. From boarding school to war zones, and from sexual assault by adult missionaries to fending for themselves so as not to distract from the work of the Lord, MKs bear the weight of their parents' choices and their churches' ideals. Fletcher delves into the "missionary industrial complex" that shapes the lives of missionary families, listening to MKs speak of the vexing, wordless longing for the places they've lived.
For many years, few people sought out MKs' real voices. God had called their parents to do great things, so the kids were beside the point. But the children of missionaries are beneficiaries of evangelicalism's rewards and victims of its failings.
And now they are ready to talk.
As sidekicks to their parents' and churches' ambitions, missionary kids (MKs) face questions many white Christians eventually about God's calling, sacrifice, faith, privilege, racism, abuse, and what belonging means. In The Missionary Kids, Fletcher reveals how MKs have intimate access to the movement's logic, longings, and ideals.
With penetrating research, sly wit, and an empathic gaze, Fletcher lays bare complicated emotions and troublesome truths. She investigates how calling, multiculturalism, saints, and indispensability can distract white American Christians from their own tradition's sins and failures. Drawing on her experience as a Southern Baptist MK in Kenya, on conversations with other missionary kids, and on the work of psychologists, historians, missiologists, and researchers, Fletcher paints an intricate portrait of family life on the front lines of the missionary movement. From boarding school to war zones, and from sexual assault by adult missionaries to fending for themselves so as not to distract from the work of the Lord, MKs bear the weight of their parents' choices and their churches' ideals. Fletcher delves into the "missionary industrial complex" that shapes the lives of missionary families, listening to MKs speak of the vexing, wordless longing for the places they've lived.
For many years, few people sought out MKs' real voices. God had called their parents to do great things, so the kids were beside the point. But the children of missionaries are beneficiaries of evangelicalism's rewards and victims of its failings.
And now they are ready to talk.
291 pages, Hardcover
Published August 19, 2025
60 people are currently reading
656 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
August 12, 2025
This is a really important book. I am an MK myself and I have never felt so seen. While I have lived in the United States as an adult for over 20 years now, I still don't feel American and America still doesn't feel like home - nowhere does, really. Holly Berkley Fletcher does a fantastic job capturing this feeling of dislocation (which ALL MK's feel) and also tracing its origins and implications. This book made me realize that I have never really holistically dealt with the impact of being an MK on my life and some of the decisions I have made - it shook me pretty deeply.
She also uses the MK experience to expose the issues with White American Evangelicalism more broadly - issues that are more relevant than ever in the age of Christian Nationalism and Trump. I, like many many many MK's, no longer identify as an evangelical - in large part because of the all the issues raised in this book - and Berkley Fletcher adeptly points to all the ways in which the missionary experience undergirds white evangelical identity and occludes recognition of its systemic investments in racism and patriarchy.
A really difficult book to read at times, but a vital entry into the ongoing conversation about American evangelicalism's dark side. This should also be mandatory reading for any partner of an MK. There is so much about our experience that it so difficult to articulate, and this book does a lot of this so well.
She also uses the MK experience to expose the issues with White American Evangelicalism more broadly - issues that are more relevant than ever in the age of Christian Nationalism and Trump. I, like many many many MK's, no longer identify as an evangelical - in large part because of the all the issues raised in this book - and Berkley Fletcher adeptly points to all the ways in which the missionary experience undergirds white evangelical identity and occludes recognition of its systemic investments in racism and patriarchy.
A really difficult book to read at times, but a vital entry into the ongoing conversation about American evangelicalism's dark side. This should also be mandatory reading for any partner of an MK. There is so much about our experience that it so difficult to articulate, and this book does a lot of this so well.
August 20, 2025
As an atheist, this book is far outside my usual reading territory. I expected it to reinforce my skepticism toward religion, but instead, I was surprised by how thoughtfully it critiques many of the issues people often take with missionary work. Fletcher has a fantastic voice; engaging and clear for such a serious topic. Even in the more information-heavy chapters, I never felt bored or overwhelmed.
It’s a brave book; Fletcher doesn’t shy away from hard truths, and that honesty is what makes it so compelling. This is one the first religious nonfiction books I’ve truly appreciated, and definitely the first that didn’t put me to sleep. I think this would be an eye-opening read for people of any faith, especially those considering or involved in missionary work.
It’s a brave book; Fletcher doesn’t shy away from hard truths, and that honesty is what makes it so compelling. This is one the first religious nonfiction books I’ve truly appreciated, and definitely the first that didn’t put me to sleep. I think this would be an eye-opening read for people of any faith, especially those considering or involved in missionary work.
August 14, 2025
So many thoughts I've had all my life about missions, the American Church, Evangelicalism, etc. were put into words in this book. I kept finding myself nodding my head, getting teary eyed, getting angry, being upset, laughing, having heart palpitations, being sick to my stomach...the whole spectrum of emotions. As an MK, I have spent 12 years slowly trying to figure myself out. It's like that one friend who drinks too much and wakes up asking "what happened last night?!" This book made me have one of those moments..."what in the world even just happened?!" My childhood was filled with so many anecdotes from this book, I felt seen. I appreciate that Holly is honest about where she's ended up and leaves room for readers to embrace their own views on God, salvation, Heaven, Hell, etc. that's not the point of the book and she does a great job of writing with authority on certain subjects and leaving space in others. Great book, will be rereading this soon.
October 4, 2025
I attended RVA for high school and had a very positive, enriching upbringing, having been born and raised in Africa. The picture painted in this book of MKs is very different from my own experience. I have many fond memories of RVA and have truly enjoyed the many reunions I have attended with my life-long friends. This book attempts to trash a mission organization by dredging up childhood difficulties endured by MKs. It is a shameful exercise.
One of the many unanswered questions this book raises is: who exactly are “THE” MKs that supposedly “unmasked” the Southern Baptist organization? Certainly not me, a fellow MK. I found no evidence of the myths described, nor of any effort by MKs to unmask evangelicalism. The author’s repeated use of sweeping terms like “MANY” and “MOST”, when representing MKs as a defined entity, is unsubstantiated and borders on misrepresentation. This is a disservice to the uninitiated. The disparagement of missionaries who are held in honor and are encouraged by the congregations that support them is unconscionable.
I sympathize deeply with any and all children who endured trauma on the mission field or later, back in the States, those who struggled to find their place, as young adults do. However, I oppose the way their individual hardships are used to condemn the hundreds of thousands of dedicated people who sacrificed secure lives in the U.S. to give themselves fully to missions around the world. This one-sided vendetta using MKs as pawns is a travesty.
I grew up in a war-torn country but never blamed my parents for the risks we faced. I lived alongside ten million African children enduring the same conditions. Yes, our home was bombed and destroyed—but I did not run to a therapist. At the same time, I was not subjected to school shootings, as many students in the U.S. are today. American parents are not vilified for exposing their children to that danger. We do not castigate American parents for daily risks unlike this book’s portrayal and blame of missionary parents who travel and live with their children overseas.
Overall, this book offers an overwhelmingly negative portrayal of MKs’ experiences—experiences that are not unique but rather comparable to those of other TCKs (third culture kids) or PKs (preachers’ kids). I can only assume the challenges attributed to the Southern Baptists are much the same as those faced by missionaries from other organizations. No justification is given for singling out this “white” group when there are some 300,000 missionaries worldwide, and nearly half of whom are non-white.
The title itself is misleading, and the underlying premise is distorted. The stories selected feel one-sided, even nefarious at times, and may not even represent Southern Baptists or ecumenical evangelicals and certainly not MOST MKs. The supposed survey and cherry-picked interviews appear to have been conducted with significant bias, designed to support a predetermined narrative rather than exploring the truth.
Finally, the book does not even address evangelicalism or the theology that defines it. Instead, it reads as a smear against one organization, unfairly implicating innocent MKs who, while facing boarding school challenges, are not disproportionately burdened compared to other cross-cultural children. If you are a CCK, TCK, or PK you will likely recognize and resent the stereotypical defamation of your parents. And if you are not an MK, this book will do little to help you understand the reality of MOST MKs.
One of the many unanswered questions this book raises is: who exactly are “THE” MKs that supposedly “unmasked” the Southern Baptist organization? Certainly not me, a fellow MK. I found no evidence of the myths described, nor of any effort by MKs to unmask evangelicalism. The author’s repeated use of sweeping terms like “MANY” and “MOST”, when representing MKs as a defined entity, is unsubstantiated and borders on misrepresentation. This is a disservice to the uninitiated. The disparagement of missionaries who are held in honor and are encouraged by the congregations that support them is unconscionable.
I sympathize deeply with any and all children who endured trauma on the mission field or later, back in the States, those who struggled to find their place, as young adults do. However, I oppose the way their individual hardships are used to condemn the hundreds of thousands of dedicated people who sacrificed secure lives in the U.S. to give themselves fully to missions around the world. This one-sided vendetta using MKs as pawns is a travesty.
I grew up in a war-torn country but never blamed my parents for the risks we faced. I lived alongside ten million African children enduring the same conditions. Yes, our home was bombed and destroyed—but I did not run to a therapist. At the same time, I was not subjected to school shootings, as many students in the U.S. are today. American parents are not vilified for exposing their children to that danger. We do not castigate American parents for daily risks unlike this book’s portrayal and blame of missionary parents who travel and live with their children overseas.
Overall, this book offers an overwhelmingly negative portrayal of MKs’ experiences—experiences that are not unique but rather comparable to those of other TCKs (third culture kids) or PKs (preachers’ kids). I can only assume the challenges attributed to the Southern Baptists are much the same as those faced by missionaries from other organizations. No justification is given for singling out this “white” group when there are some 300,000 missionaries worldwide, and nearly half of whom are non-white.
The title itself is misleading, and the underlying premise is distorted. The stories selected feel one-sided, even nefarious at times, and may not even represent Southern Baptists or ecumenical evangelicals and certainly not MOST MKs. The supposed survey and cherry-picked interviews appear to have been conducted with significant bias, designed to support a predetermined narrative rather than exploring the truth.
Finally, the book does not even address evangelicalism or the theology that defines it. Instead, it reads as a smear against one organization, unfairly implicating innocent MKs who, while facing boarding school challenges, are not disproportionately burdened compared to other cross-cultural children. If you are a CCK, TCK, or PK you will likely recognize and resent the stereotypical defamation of your parents. And if you are not an MK, this book will do little to help you understand the reality of MOST MKs.
October 6, 2025
This is an unpleasant read. The book is meant to associate the childhood traumas of several missionary children to disparage their parents' evangelical mission organization. If you think this will give you an understanding of MKs, you'll be misled.
I attended RVA for several years and made wonderful friends and have great memories. I found this book to be a ranting, bitter depiction of one person's situation, using other children's stories to support an untenable premise. It's unfortunate this book was presented in a way to harm MKs rich experiences and deceive those who want to learn about the MK's lives. I'm proud to be an MK and disgusted by this portrayal. Yes, the big bold title says MISSIONARY KIDS but don't be fooled. This is one person's distorted view of missions, the white organization that is being bashed, the manipulation of the children of missionaries and a total miss on evangelical theology. Avoid the distraction.
If you want to scold the organization, fine, but take us out of the title "Missionary Kids". We had nothing to do with it.
I attended RVA for several years and made wonderful friends and have great memories. I found this book to be a ranting, bitter depiction of one person's situation, using other children's stories to support an untenable premise. It's unfortunate this book was presented in a way to harm MKs rich experiences and deceive those who want to learn about the MK's lives. I'm proud to be an MK and disgusted by this portrayal. Yes, the big bold title says MISSIONARY KIDS but don't be fooled. This is one person's distorted view of missions, the white organization that is being bashed, the manipulation of the children of missionaries and a total miss on evangelical theology. Avoid the distraction.
If you want to scold the organization, fine, but take us out of the title "Missionary Kids". We had nothing to do with it.
August 17, 2025
There is something about seeing your experiences, thoughts, and feelings in a book that feels extremely validating. I don’t know the author but I still saw so much of my experience as a missionary kid (MK) put into words in this book.
I definitely recommend other adult MKs pick it up. It might reaffirm what you already knew, it might bring up issues you’d never thought to articulate, but I think you’d definitely see yourself in this book.
I think it’s also an important read for Evangelicals who have never been to the mission field because their tithes and donations are the reasons MKs exist and this books asks important questions about the cost and value of Evangelical American missionaries.
It’s not a perfect book, some parts veered away from the focus on MKs and into the history of missions, which is interesting but not the purpose for the book.
I think conspicuously absent is a chapter on the toll living off charity takes on MKs. As children, many MKs deal with the pressure, guilt, and worry of living off of other’s donations and come to find as adults that the trauma of always wondering if your family will have enough, and living through times when you don’t, doesn’t disappear because you now have a regular job and paycheck. I wonder if because the author’s parents were salaried missionaries that that aspect didn’t seem as pressing to her but I think it’s a defining characteristic for many MKs and wish it was included.
Overall, I think this is an important book that, like Third Culture Kids, should be required reading for anyone connected to MKs.
I definitely recommend other adult MKs pick it up. It might reaffirm what you already knew, it might bring up issues you’d never thought to articulate, but I think you’d definitely see yourself in this book.
I think it’s also an important read for Evangelicals who have never been to the mission field because their tithes and donations are the reasons MKs exist and this books asks important questions about the cost and value of Evangelical American missionaries.
It’s not a perfect book, some parts veered away from the focus on MKs and into the history of missions, which is interesting but not the purpose for the book.
I think conspicuously absent is a chapter on the toll living off charity takes on MKs. As children, many MKs deal with the pressure, guilt, and worry of living off of other’s donations and come to find as adults that the trauma of always wondering if your family will have enough, and living through times when you don’t, doesn’t disappear because you now have a regular job and paycheck. I wonder if because the author’s parents were salaried missionaries that that aspect didn’t seem as pressing to her but I think it’s a defining characteristic for many MKs and wish it was included.
Overall, I think this is an important book that, like Third Culture Kids, should be required reading for anyone connected to MKs.
August 18, 2025
I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for an honest, nuanced and realistic understanding of the global missions movement and a better understanding of the influence of white evangelicalism on our culture, politics and democracy.
Holly Berkley Fletcher brings a unique perspective as a historian and a missionary kid (MK) to provide an unfiltered, eye-opening view of missions, including its culture, the “missionary industrial complex” and the theology behind the movement.
Fletcher goes beyond the missions movement to show how the experience of MKs relates to broader trends in Christianity, making it relevant to those both inside and outside of evangelicalism.
In addition to her in-depth research the author explores the complex range of emotions and experience in her interviews with MKs where they discuss questions that many are asking as they reflect on their own changing values and beliefs.
With the release of this book Fletcher joins a growing list of authors, historians, journalists and others who have earned positions of credibility as accurate and authoritative reporters of the history and current trends inside and outside of white American evangelicalism.
Any book that credibly challenges the status quo of a movement and isn’t afraid to unmask its myths will undoubtedly incur the wrath of the haters who employ vitriolic personal attacks in order to distract from the accuracy of the content and the truth of the experience of those who have actually lived it. In my view this book will easily stand up to those challenges and is well worth the read.
Holly Berkley Fletcher brings a unique perspective as a historian and a missionary kid (MK) to provide an unfiltered, eye-opening view of missions, including its culture, the “missionary industrial complex” and the theology behind the movement.
Fletcher goes beyond the missions movement to show how the experience of MKs relates to broader trends in Christianity, making it relevant to those both inside and outside of evangelicalism.
In addition to her in-depth research the author explores the complex range of emotions and experience in her interviews with MKs where they discuss questions that many are asking as they reflect on their own changing values and beliefs.
With the release of this book Fletcher joins a growing list of authors, historians, journalists and others who have earned positions of credibility as accurate and authoritative reporters of the history and current trends inside and outside of white American evangelicalism.
Any book that credibly challenges the status quo of a movement and isn’t afraid to unmask its myths will undoubtedly incur the wrath of the haters who employ vitriolic personal attacks in order to distract from the accuracy of the content and the truth of the experience of those who have actually lived it. In my view this book will easily stand up to those challenges and is well worth the read.
August 30, 2025
I was expecting this book to be a scathing exposé of American evangelical missionary programs. And to be honest that’s the book I WANTED to read. But the author was deliberately more nuanced and gracious in her very honest telling of these stories of what all is wrong of American missionary systems. This OF COURSE made it a much better book. I’m glad she took the more compassionate high road because it shows you can still be extremely honest about broken systems AND keep your heart soft.
October 17, 2025
What a deceptive title. No MKs have unmasked a race-baiting, non-theological expose of " white" evangelicals. This is a book of stories about childhood trauma that could have occurred anywhere in the world but happened to occur in foreign countries.
Growing up overseas offers missionary kids benefits like enhanced adaptability, cultural intelligence, and a broader worldview through immersion in new cultures and languages. It can also foster independence, confidence, and strong problem-solving skills from navigating new environments. These experiences can provide unique educational opportunities and create strong, global networks of friends, especially if they attended RVA !
This book offers a negative view of MKs. The book should have covered some of the positive benefits of being an MK and the many ways that they develop a rich and fulfilling worldview that bodes well for an MK's success in life. Let's look at benefits the book didn't cover.
Increased adaptability and resilience: Moving frequently teaches the ability to handle change and adapt to new situations, making them more flexible and resilient.
Enhanced independence and confidence: Navigating a new environment on their own builds self-reliance and a stronger sense of confidence. MKs are born leaders.
Developing problem-solving skills: Facing challenges like new schools, languages, and social norms from a young age forces creative solutions and strong problem-solving abilities. It also relies on how loving parents help their child navigate life's challenges.
Greater cultural intelligence: Being immersed in different cultures fosters acceptance, understanding, and respect for different lifestyles, values, and beliefs. American children that don't grow up overseas develop a very limited worldview and become socially stunted especially when coming in contact with other cultures.
Unique educational opportunities: Access to international schools with global curricula and field trips to international historical sites or tagging Thompson's gazelle in Ngorongoro wild game park provide a different kind of learning experience.
Exposure to different perspectives on history, geography, and global issues challenges assumptions and provides a wider lens through which to view one's fellow world citizen.
Career and life advantages: Employers often value international experience, cultural intelligence, and multilingualism, which often gives a competitive edge in the global job market, especially now.
Cultural immersion is often the most effective way to become fluent in a new language. I speak three languages which wouldn't have been the case if I had grown up in the US. Experiences like those of missionary dependents show how moving frequently can lead to a resilient, worldwide network of lifelong friends. Long-term stays can lead to a greater appreciation for experiences over material possessions.
The title belies the intent. MKs do not want to unmask their parents theology and they shouldn't be used to do so. I personally resent the accusation and manipulation. Tens of thousands of MKs have benefited from their life experiences. Don't be fooled by this book. It doesn't represent the MK experience any more than ten sentences define who you are.
Growing up overseas offers missionary kids benefits like enhanced adaptability, cultural intelligence, and a broader worldview through immersion in new cultures and languages. It can also foster independence, confidence, and strong problem-solving skills from navigating new environments. These experiences can provide unique educational opportunities and create strong, global networks of friends, especially if they attended RVA !
This book offers a negative view of MKs. The book should have covered some of the positive benefits of being an MK and the many ways that they develop a rich and fulfilling worldview that bodes well for an MK's success in life. Let's look at benefits the book didn't cover.
Increased adaptability and resilience: Moving frequently teaches the ability to handle change and adapt to new situations, making them more flexible and resilient.
Enhanced independence and confidence: Navigating a new environment on their own builds self-reliance and a stronger sense of confidence. MKs are born leaders.
Developing problem-solving skills: Facing challenges like new schools, languages, and social norms from a young age forces creative solutions and strong problem-solving abilities. It also relies on how loving parents help their child navigate life's challenges.
Greater cultural intelligence: Being immersed in different cultures fosters acceptance, understanding, and respect for different lifestyles, values, and beliefs. American children that don't grow up overseas develop a very limited worldview and become socially stunted especially when coming in contact with other cultures.
Unique educational opportunities: Access to international schools with global curricula and field trips to international historical sites or tagging Thompson's gazelle in Ngorongoro wild game park provide a different kind of learning experience.
Exposure to different perspectives on history, geography, and global issues challenges assumptions and provides a wider lens through which to view one's fellow world citizen.
Career and life advantages: Employers often value international experience, cultural intelligence, and multilingualism, which often gives a competitive edge in the global job market, especially now.
Cultural immersion is often the most effective way to become fluent in a new language. I speak three languages which wouldn't have been the case if I had grown up in the US. Experiences like those of missionary dependents show how moving frequently can lead to a resilient, worldwide network of lifelong friends. Long-term stays can lead to a greater appreciation for experiences over material possessions.
The title belies the intent. MKs do not want to unmask their parents theology and they shouldn't be used to do so. I personally resent the accusation and manipulation. Tens of thousands of MKs have benefited from their life experiences. Don't be fooled by this book. It doesn't represent the MK experience any more than ten sentences define who you are.
October 7, 2025
What a disappointing reflection on the life of one MK and a disparagement of many. I can relate to the RVA experience, mission life, the richness of living overseas and very little else. It's as if this book was written in a bubble about someone who lived in a "bubble" and a whole world of experiences were simply unavailable or deliberately dismissed. Either the MK who wrote this led a meaningless existence or they want people to think other MKs led lives similar to theirs.
While the uninformed might be lured into the interesting lives of MKs, the underlying confusion stems from the poorly crafted title and rambling introduction. On the one hand this is a negative attack on many MK's upbringing focused almost solely on negative experiences. On the other hand, it is a repudiation of the many blessings shared around the world through missionary work. I can't reconcile the two. Nor is it clear how MKs are responsible for unmasking "white" evangelicals.
It appears there is some deep seated resentment harbored against one particular organization but uncovering that could take a therapist. Nothing in the book reveals the true reason a bitter MK is lashing out. What could have been a revealing adventure into the exciting lives of MKs, TCKs and CCKs turns out to be a hodgepodge of uncomfortable truths exploited from examples of childhood abuse to punish, I guess, evangelicalism and the implementation of it's core theology. It's not clear. It is a mess.
While the uninformed might be lured into the interesting lives of MKs, the underlying confusion stems from the poorly crafted title and rambling introduction. On the one hand this is a negative attack on many MK's upbringing focused almost solely on negative experiences. On the other hand, it is a repudiation of the many blessings shared around the world through missionary work. I can't reconcile the two. Nor is it clear how MKs are responsible for unmasking "white" evangelicals.
It appears there is some deep seated resentment harbored against one particular organization but uncovering that could take a therapist. Nothing in the book reveals the true reason a bitter MK is lashing out. What could have been a revealing adventure into the exciting lives of MKs, TCKs and CCKs turns out to be a hodgepodge of uncomfortable truths exploited from examples of childhood abuse to punish, I guess, evangelicalism and the implementation of it's core theology. It's not clear. It is a mess.
January 9, 2026
In The Missionary Kids, Fletcher gives us an eye-opening tour through the world of American evangelicalism. She touches on many of the issues that plague modern Christianity in an accessible way, backing it up with her own experiences as a missionary kid or providing insight from others with similar experiences.
Fletcher delves into the emotional and physical traumas that missionary kids often face, as well as the ways that these traumas can continue to affect them into adulthood. She also discusses concepts of nationalism, White privilege, misogyny, and racism and how they have tainted the image of American Christianity across the globe.
While analyzing and discussing some dark and emotional topics, Fletcher also paints a picture of hope for the future of Christianity and demonstrates what the religion can accomplish, if American evangelicals are able to do away with their prejudices and sense of entitlement.
As someone who is not religious, I found this to be a fair and analytical discussion of the controversial field of missionary work. This was an enjoyable read, and thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this title.
Fletcher delves into the emotional and physical traumas that missionary kids often face, as well as the ways that these traumas can continue to affect them into adulthood. She also discusses concepts of nationalism, White privilege, misogyny, and racism and how they have tainted the image of American Christianity across the globe.
While analyzing and discussing some dark and emotional topics, Fletcher also paints a picture of hope for the future of Christianity and demonstrates what the religion can accomplish, if American evangelicals are able to do away with their prejudices and sense of entitlement.
As someone who is not religious, I found this to be a fair and analytical discussion of the controversial field of missionary work. This was an enjoyable read, and thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this title.
December 27, 2025
This is one of the hardest books I have ever read, if not the hardest, as it relates to my personal experience and family of origin. I'm kind of an MK-lite as my parents only served overseas for six months when I was very young (and I was with them), although we did move across the country several times due to my dad's career instability related to his unfulfilled "calling" into missions. I can relate to the restlessness and unrootedness that characterizes MKs/TCKs as a result.
My mom also says that the only thing that stopped them from becoming career missionaries was that the C&MA still required children to be sent to boarding school and that was a deal breaker for my dad, who was sent to boarding school *early* (at 5) by his career missionary parents and has obvious trauma and pain related to his MK life. Dad vehemently denies both my mom's account of what kept them from going onto career missions and any and all suggestions that his life as an MK was anything but charmed.
My dad is the reason this book was so important for me to read but also so hard to read. He's impossible to understand (for others but also himself), largely related to how his MK experiences are unassailable because of what that might mean about his parents. It took me a long, long time to understand that my grandparents were actually just humans and not heroes for Jesus (and that my dad still internalizes the belief that he has to be a happy soldier for God). I could easily write a book about all of the trauma my dad carries and passed down to me and how hard it's made our lives, in the name of God's glory. The saddest thing is my grandma died suddenly just a couple years after they returned to the US from Thailand, and my dad truly had zero time with her after age 5, because we were all over the world and the country pursuing dad's mission "calling" even after they moved back. Dad did get some time with his father after his mom died, but he was a very unemotional, frankly cold and stand-offish Norwegian man who it took me years to finally admit was really not a very good guy even though he spent 40 years as a missionary.
As I am now spending my mid-life attempting to process the grief handed down to me in the name of not passing it on to my own children, I felt overwhelmed at times with how my dad's life was reflected in the retelling of the policies and procedures of mission agencies in the 1950s-1970s. The reality that his parents could have easily served God in their home city and by raising their children in a stable and loving environment is so obvious to me but somehow something he will argue is basically an affront to God. Thank you to the author for speaking the truth, even though the pain I feel about it seems bottomless.
My mom also says that the only thing that stopped them from becoming career missionaries was that the C&MA still required children to be sent to boarding school and that was a deal breaker for my dad, who was sent to boarding school *early* (at 5) by his career missionary parents and has obvious trauma and pain related to his MK life. Dad vehemently denies both my mom's account of what kept them from going onto career missions and any and all suggestions that his life as an MK was anything but charmed.
My dad is the reason this book was so important for me to read but also so hard to read. He's impossible to understand (for others but also himself), largely related to how his MK experiences are unassailable because of what that might mean about his parents. It took me a long, long time to understand that my grandparents were actually just humans and not heroes for Jesus (and that my dad still internalizes the belief that he has to be a happy soldier for God). I could easily write a book about all of the trauma my dad carries and passed down to me and how hard it's made our lives, in the name of God's glory. The saddest thing is my grandma died suddenly just a couple years after they returned to the US from Thailand, and my dad truly had zero time with her after age 5, because we were all over the world and the country pursuing dad's mission "calling" even after they moved back. Dad did get some time with his father after his mom died, but he was a very unemotional, frankly cold and stand-offish Norwegian man who it took me years to finally admit was really not a very good guy even though he spent 40 years as a missionary.
As I am now spending my mid-life attempting to process the grief handed down to me in the name of not passing it on to my own children, I felt overwhelmed at times with how my dad's life was reflected in the retelling of the policies and procedures of mission agencies in the 1950s-1970s. The reality that his parents could have easily served God in their home city and by raising their children in a stable and loving environment is so obvious to me but somehow something he will argue is basically an affront to God. Thank you to the author for speaking the truth, even though the pain I feel about it seems bottomless.
October 3, 2025
I will echo what I have seen many others write: This is an important book. It feels significant and weighty in this season where many find themselves asking questions about the traditions and rituals they grew up with as a child. How much more so a child who is not present in their "home" culture, or present with their parents?
I have not experienced this particular scenario, but I have attended an evangelical college. I recognize a lot of the exaltation of missionaries; I remember looking side-long at the kids that were in the missions stream of our program and hearing about their call (and begging God to "please, please, don't call me to Africa"). I've participated in short-term missions with little insight as to how my presence impacted the culture and people I was visiting (for better or worse). And I know MKs, some of whom were/are part of the organizations mentioned in the book. It all feels familiar, but distant; looking back, it felt as though I had been invested in some sort of pyramid scheme, but had somehow managed to understand that something felt off and back away from the hype.
What helped me through this book was reminding myself that this was another side of the story that I didn't yet know, not a campaign of slander. All the things that were revealed in the book that I have only started to understand in the past number of years felt like a punch in the gut. Another area to deconstruct; another part of the church that was talking out of both sides of its mouth. These are the difficult things that we need to talk about and the challenging topics that need to come to light so that we can do better and so that healing can take place.
I also felt a bit like a fool that I didn't know this side of the story. I feel as though I've been strung along. My immediate reaction was visceral: throw the whole missions thing out. But I am grateful to the author for reminding me that there are kind, compassionate people in the field working within an imperfect system and that things are changing for the better because people have had the courage to tell their story. This is one side of the story that has been obscured and needs to find the light, and it is not the whole story. The whole story is complicated and nuanced.
I imagine, dear reader, that you will have your own thoughts, emotions, comments and criticisms about this book. I encourage you to be present with those reactions and dig deeper to understand what's underneath them. It is difficult to have the imperfections of an institution that has been held up on a pedestal for so long disclosed in such a candid way, and I thank those who have shared their stories here for their bravery. I hope that the author will continue to bring to light the stories that need to be told and the history that gets discarded because it is inconvenient. Those who read what you write will be better for it.
I have not experienced this particular scenario, but I have attended an evangelical college. I recognize a lot of the exaltation of missionaries; I remember looking side-long at the kids that were in the missions stream of our program and hearing about their call (and begging God to "please, please, don't call me to Africa"). I've participated in short-term missions with little insight as to how my presence impacted the culture and people I was visiting (for better or worse). And I know MKs, some of whom were/are part of the organizations mentioned in the book. It all feels familiar, but distant; looking back, it felt as though I had been invested in some sort of pyramid scheme, but had somehow managed to understand that something felt off and back away from the hype.
What helped me through this book was reminding myself that this was another side of the story that I didn't yet know, not a campaign of slander. All the things that were revealed in the book that I have only started to understand in the past number of years felt like a punch in the gut. Another area to deconstruct; another part of the church that was talking out of both sides of its mouth. These are the difficult things that we need to talk about and the challenging topics that need to come to light so that we can do better and so that healing can take place.
I also felt a bit like a fool that I didn't know this side of the story. I feel as though I've been strung along. My immediate reaction was visceral: throw the whole missions thing out. But I am grateful to the author for reminding me that there are kind, compassionate people in the field working within an imperfect system and that things are changing for the better because people have had the courage to tell their story. This is one side of the story that has been obscured and needs to find the light, and it is not the whole story. The whole story is complicated and nuanced.
I imagine, dear reader, that you will have your own thoughts, emotions, comments and criticisms about this book. I encourage you to be present with those reactions and dig deeper to understand what's underneath them. It is difficult to have the imperfections of an institution that has been held up on a pedestal for so long disclosed in such a candid way, and I thank those who have shared their stories here for their bravery. I hope that the author will continue to bring to light the stories that need to be told and the history that gets discarded because it is inconvenient. Those who read what you write will be better for it.
January 5, 2026
I’m really grateful for this book. I grew up overseas in Eastern Europe as an MK, and I’ve really struggled over the past years to articulate the complexities of the culture of missions. I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything, am grateful for the way it shaped me, and honestly feel like my parents did a pretty decent job of not letting us fully be in the missions culture/mentality/worldview that is discussed in this book. But boy did I see it in the broader MK community. And now that I’m an adult and have been out of that life for a decade-plus, I’ve found very few resources or people willing to talk about the complexities of this community. I don’t feel as if Buckley bashes missions or MKs or boarding schools—in fact, I feel like she does an amazing job of holding the tension of loving the memories/identity that she experienced while simultaneously saying “what the heck was I conditioned to believe about this role”. I’m sure that some will dislike it because if you are in that world, it makes you a little uncomfortable, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to realize that a community has a culture and all cultures have good and bad associated with them. And if you’re not ready to acknowledge that communities (even Christian ones) have bad concepts/beliefs/habits laced through out them, that’s ok. Come back to it, when you’ve gotten some time out of the “bubble”. In fact, ask your non-TCK/non-Christian friends openly their perspectives on your life and try to hear humbly what their thoughts are on it.
On another note, I really appreciated her articulation at the end of the “Theology Trumps Policy” chapter where she quoted “Systems are always going to get it wrong. Systems are not spiritual," she says. "Every organization has to be able... to wake up every morning saying, It's OK if this system crumbles today... No system can be held higher than the love and compassion that Jesus showed."
Anyways, grateful that my library accepted my suggestion to get this as a book. Someday when I plant roots in whatever spot that might be and I don’t have to move around book boxes anymore, I will hopefully buy and add to my bookshelf. Because I will need to reread and meditate again on these perspectives. Because it’s so refreshing when you feel like such an outsider for questioning the culture you grew up in to be able to read how someone in a completely different context has come to the same place.
On another note, I really appreciated her articulation at the end of the “Theology Trumps Policy” chapter where she quoted “Systems are always going to get it wrong. Systems are not spiritual," she says. "Every organization has to be able... to wake up every morning saying, It's OK if this system crumbles today... No system can be held higher than the love and compassion that Jesus showed."
Anyways, grateful that my library accepted my suggestion to get this as a book. Someday when I plant roots in whatever spot that might be and I don’t have to move around book boxes anymore, I will hopefully buy and add to my bookshelf. Because I will need to reread and meditate again on these perspectives. Because it’s so refreshing when you feel like such an outsider for questioning the culture you grew up in to be able to read how someone in a completely different context has come to the same place.
November 30, 2025
Thought provoking story of evangelicalism in ways I have never heard written before. Many of the concepts resonate with me. The writing wasn’t always easy to read but the thoughts and stories were pertinent to many of us , whether we were MK’s, PK’s, or kids from other subcultures that set us apart.
August 29, 2025
I'm not a missionary kid, but my experience growing up in the evangelical church made a lot of this book feel very familiar, especially the theology aspect. (I could talk--or rant--about Purity Culture all day). But what this book really helped me understand is not only the history of mission work, but also why certain people are drawn to it, the difficult (and often traumatic) experiences of missionary kids, and the relationship between missions and the American evangelical church.
I think every kid who attended an evangelical Christian school in the 80s and 90s (and maybe still today?) was subjected to the play "Bridge of Blood" that portrays the missionary Jim Elliot and his death in trying to proselytize to a reclusive tribe in Ecuador. Watching that performance (in what was normally chapel time) greatly disturbed me as a young teen. I could not see the appeal of missions work (especially when presented as something that could get you killed), and I did not understand why my parents, who had very little disposable income, wrote checks every month to support missionaries. I was relieved that I never felt a "calling" from god to leave my home and preach in a foreign country. Fletcher describes "calling" as a "modern, Western idea" which comes from the "overabundance of choice that simply doesn't exist for most of the world's or history's people." And that calling is rarely questioned or scrutinized. Indeed, in a time where a typical Sunday service at a megachurch has the production level rivaling a Hollywood blockbuster, the bigger and more dangerous the sacrifice of the calling is, the more appealing. As Fletcher writes of her own experience: "We had come to save the day. We were the heroes of our own story."
But while the missionaries were adults making their own choices, their children had little agency in the matter and often took a backseat to their parents' missions work, because what is more important than saving souls? (Certainly not parenting). Sadly, the voluminous accounts of abuse and trauma did not surprise me, as one of my close friends was sexually abused by the host missionary under whose roof she lived in Zambia.
What I found most interesting about this book is how Fletcher uses missions as a lens through which to examine the American evangelical church. Missions is the "ultimate spiritual bypass" for the white American church:
Fletcher notes the similarity between how the abuse of MKs has been handled and how white evangelicals engage with America's racial history: "contain it, personalize it, separate from it." Compartmentalization over critical examination. Narcissism over humility.
I think every kid who attended an evangelical Christian school in the 80s and 90s (and maybe still today?) was subjected to the play "Bridge of Blood" that portrays the missionary Jim Elliot and his death in trying to proselytize to a reclusive tribe in Ecuador. Watching that performance (in what was normally chapel time) greatly disturbed me as a young teen. I could not see the appeal of missions work (especially when presented as something that could get you killed), and I did not understand why my parents, who had very little disposable income, wrote checks every month to support missionaries. I was relieved that I never felt a "calling" from god to leave my home and preach in a foreign country. Fletcher describes "calling" as a "modern, Western idea" which comes from the "overabundance of choice that simply doesn't exist for most of the world's or history's people." And that calling is rarely questioned or scrutinized. Indeed, in a time where a typical Sunday service at a megachurch has the production level rivaling a Hollywood blockbuster, the bigger and more dangerous the sacrifice of the calling is, the more appealing. As Fletcher writes of her own experience: "We had come to save the day. We were the heroes of our own story."
But while the missionaries were adults making their own choices, their children had little agency in the matter and often took a backseat to their parents' missions work, because what is more important than saving souls? (Certainly not parenting). Sadly, the voluminous accounts of abuse and trauma did not surprise me, as one of my close friends was sexually abused by the host missionary under whose roof she lived in Zambia.
What I found most interesting about this book is how Fletcher uses missions as a lens through which to examine the American evangelical church. Missions is the "ultimate spiritual bypass" for the white American church:
From the beginning, around the time Southern Baptists were sending missionaries to Africa while upholding racial oppression at home, missions have reinforced American evangelicals' inflated sense of self and allowed them to flee from their failures.
Fletcher notes the similarity between how the abuse of MKs has been handled and how white evangelicals engage with America's racial history: "contain it, personalize it, separate from it." Compartmentalization over critical examination. Narcissism over humility.
July 16, 2025
This is an important book. It is also a very brave one.
In The Missionary Kids, MK Holly Berkley Fletcher gives an unfiltered look at Southern Baptist international missions and theology based on her upbringing and extensive research with other MK's. My interest was piqued by this title because my mom is an MK who was born and raised not too far from Fletcher's family in Kenya (though NOT Southern Baptist). My mom had a positive experience abroad and has shared her experience at length with me. I was interested to hear a different perspective. One of the strengths of Fletcher's book is that she writes in such a way that the reader can draw commonalities from their experience but does not need to have come from the same background to understand the world of which she is describing. She makes some connections that I have not seen elsewhere and gives credit when she is echoing connections others have made. Her research is thorough and her points are clear. I found myself highlighting sentences or paragraphs on nearly every page. The book has qualities of memoir, investigative journalism, and religious nonfiction that combined make it quick to read.
Fletcher chooses to tell the truths that the SBC either ignored or chose to dismiss. She has also thought critically about the root causes of problems within the international missionary field rather than simply criticizing the symptoms of those problems. Some might call this book "provocative" but I would call it courageous. She gave voice to many who were scared or may have not shared their stories otherwise. We owe it to them to listen to their experiences and respond with compassion.
My only critique of this book is that I don't think Fletcher was entirely accurate when it came to her portrayal of mainline missionaries and denominations. She made the claim that after World War II, most mainline denominations left Africa but the SBC stayed and expanded. Where my grandparents were, they had United Methodists, Presbyterians, and Mennonites and they were there from 1969-1985. I would agree that the United Methodist Church is not sending US missionaries to Africa anymore but I think Fletcher's assessment was premature. She also made occasional side comments about other denominations, which felt out of place alongside such a detailed critique of the SBC.
Overall, even with my critiques, I would still recommend this book to anyone interested in learning about American Christianity, international missions, or experiences of long-term Missionary Kids. Fletcher's is a necessary perspective for Christians in America today and for those interested more in upholding the institution than being faithful to God.
Thank you Broadleaf Books and NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.
In The Missionary Kids, MK Holly Berkley Fletcher gives an unfiltered look at Southern Baptist international missions and theology based on her upbringing and extensive research with other MK's. My interest was piqued by this title because my mom is an MK who was born and raised not too far from Fletcher's family in Kenya (though NOT Southern Baptist). My mom had a positive experience abroad and has shared her experience at length with me. I was interested to hear a different perspective. One of the strengths of Fletcher's book is that she writes in such a way that the reader can draw commonalities from their experience but does not need to have come from the same background to understand the world of which she is describing. She makes some connections that I have not seen elsewhere and gives credit when she is echoing connections others have made. Her research is thorough and her points are clear. I found myself highlighting sentences or paragraphs on nearly every page. The book has qualities of memoir, investigative journalism, and religious nonfiction that combined make it quick to read.
Fletcher chooses to tell the truths that the SBC either ignored or chose to dismiss. She has also thought critically about the root causes of problems within the international missionary field rather than simply criticizing the symptoms of those problems. Some might call this book "provocative" but I would call it courageous. She gave voice to many who were scared or may have not shared their stories otherwise. We owe it to them to listen to their experiences and respond with compassion.
My only critique of this book is that I don't think Fletcher was entirely accurate when it came to her portrayal of mainline missionaries and denominations. She made the claim that after World War II, most mainline denominations left Africa but the SBC stayed and expanded. Where my grandparents were, they had United Methodists, Presbyterians, and Mennonites and they were there from 1969-1985. I would agree that the United Methodist Church is not sending US missionaries to Africa anymore but I think Fletcher's assessment was premature. She also made occasional side comments about other denominations, which felt out of place alongside such a detailed critique of the SBC.
Overall, even with my critiques, I would still recommend this book to anyone interested in learning about American Christianity, international missions, or experiences of long-term Missionary Kids. Fletcher's is a necessary perspective for Christians in America today and for those interested more in upholding the institution than being faithful to God.
Thank you Broadleaf Books and NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.
October 6, 2025
This book is more of an autobiographical therapy rant and less of a "bringing to light" of missions and MKs. I know hundreds of MKs and some of what is familiar and relatable is because we lived in a common setting: Africa, the boarding school experience, travel, the US and RVA. Otherwise, the twist on hating Southern Baptists and how they handled typical human frailties and internal issues is misappropriated and disingenuous. Evangelicalism isn't given it's due. It is a cavernous leap to associate and conflate "unmasking" evangelicalism with a child's experience at school. A fool's errand.
It is shameful that this book's intention is to dredge up a few examples of childhood trauma to tear down in one fell swoop: Southern Baptists, white people, and evangelicals. Worse yet, it is a travesty to rest it on the shoulders' of MKs, making them responsible and crediting them with the ensuing attempt at destruction, albeit a fail.
In summary, this effort to discredit a mission organization based on the lives of MKs is objectionable.
It is shameful that this book's intention is to dredge up a few examples of childhood trauma to tear down in one fell swoop: Southern Baptists, white people, and evangelicals. Worse yet, it is a travesty to rest it on the shoulders' of MKs, making them responsible and crediting them with the ensuing attempt at destruction, albeit a fail.
In summary, this effort to discredit a mission organization based on the lives of MKs is objectionable.
August 15, 2025
As a pastor, I am aware that clergy families face unique challenges that many other families do not. Missionary Kids experience even more unique challenges than even Preacher's Kids. Like PKs, MKs are expected to behave in certain ways, for they often live in a fishbowl. But MKs face the reality that their parents are often idolized as spiritual heroes and saints because they go to distant lands to share the Gospel. This is especially true in White Evangelical churches. The children of Missionaries have to deal with such challenges as growing up in a foreign land and often spending their childhoods and youth in boarding schools. So, what does this look like from the perspective of an MK?
Holly Berkley Fletcher offers us an inside look at life as an MK in "The Missionary Kids: Unmasking the Myths of White Evangelicalism." Fletcher spent much of her childhood as an MK in Kenya. She is also a historian, having earned a PhD in American History. Besides having taught at universities, she also served for nineteen years as a CIA analyst, focused on Africa. This book draws on her own experiences as well as interviews and conversations with other MKS. For that reason, we get a fairly full picture of what it is like to be an MK, both the joys and the sorrows. The subtitle hints at the purpose here, and that is to uncover the realities of life as an MK, realities that are too often shrouded in myths of sainthood and heroism. The truth is, not every missionary is a saint or a hero, and children can suffer as a result.
Fletcher begins the book with a haunting sentence: "I've only known one probable murderer in my life, and he was an evangelical missionary" (p. 1). With that, the myths of sainthood have been effectively unmasked. The murder she references is that of a missionary who was suspected of killing his wife. This missionary was highly celebrated, with many self-reported exploits, but is suspected of killing his wife while having an affair with another married missionary. As we move through the book, we encounter missionaries who sexually abuse their own children and the children of the communities they served. We hear of abuse that takes place at boarding schools. We also hear of the challenges of moving from the mission field back to the United States. Perhaps in a way similar to children of members of the military, they often return stateside not knowing a real home, for the home they have ever really known was on the mission field.
While Fletcher writes from a postevangelical perspective, she writes this book not to dismiss missionaries, but to help those who are not missionaries to better understand the realities faced by missionaries and their children. At a time when scandals have rocked the American church, especially the evangelical world, missionaries are still held in high regard. It is understandable, but missionaries are human beings and subject to human frailties. The problem is that too often there is little or no accountability, such that missionaries can engage in inappropriate behavior, which may be ignored or mishandled. Too often, there is little support, especially psychological support, for missionaries and their children. Fletcher does an excellent job in revealing these realities with compassion and clarity.
With all of this in mind, so that we gain a better understanding of what MKs face, she writes, "If missionaries are the evangelical rockstars, we are the roadies, of sorts---although we're along for the ride involuntarily, and perhaps not performing much actual labor. Then again, we're definitely carrying the baggage. Many of us grew up feeling it was on us to help make the stars look good: show up, do your job, don't complain, don't screw up" (p. 6). This message was often drilled into children of missionaries by their teachers and other mission leaders --- don't complain and don't mess up, lest you undermine the work of your parents. That's a big load to place on a child.
Fletcher divides her book into four parts: "The Myth of Calling;" The Myth of Multiculturalism," "The Myth of Saints," and "The Myth of Indispensibility." The first section of the book is divided into three chapters. The first is titled "Accessories to Martyrs," and it sets the stage for what comes later, as the parents are seen at times as martyrs while the children are simply there, often living far apart from their parents. She writes that "Missionaries' inability to offer their children a stable domestic life was alternately glossed over or played up in the context of their sacrifice and martyrdom" (p. 31). Chapter 2 focuses on calling and how that is experienced by MKS, who generally do not have a choice in the matter and can be put in dangerous and traumatic situations. Finally, in chapter 3, titled "Jesus Is Their Favorite," we learn of the challenge of parental neglect of MKs, who are often sent off to boarding schools far from their parents. Even many who do not go to such schools experience neglect as parents put ministry ahead of family.
Part 2 focuses on the Myth of Multiculturalism. The first chapter is titled "Bubble Boys and Girls." In this chapter (ch. 4), Fletcher reveals that rather than experiencing in any real way the cultural context in which their missionary parents work, they are often kept in a bubble. Part of that is rooted in racist attitudes toward the communities the missionaries are working. Fletcher shares her own experience being "bubblewrapped." In Chapter 5, this conversation is continued in "The Great (Race) Escape." Here, Fletcher notes how most American evangelical missionaries are white. Here again, the idea of color-blindness has replaced overt racism, but Black Christians continue to be silenced in White contexts. In Chapter 6, Fletcher speaks of "A Cultural Trade Imbalance." She notes here that while missionaries often bring American values and culture to their missionary efforts, little goes the other way. This includes, in terms of the educational experiences of MKs, who, at least until recently, rarely learned much of the culture and history of the places they were living, especially in African contexts, and rarely focused on the history and culture of the people where they were living.
Part III is titled "The Myth of Saints." It is here that we learn of the dark side of the missions enterprise. In Chapter 7, titled "The Untouchables," we learn of power dynamics in the missionary relationship with those they seek to reach, such that missionaries are rarely peers, often living at a higher standard of living than the people they seek to reach. This also includes a sense of isolation, especially for MKs. In Chapter 8, titled "One Big Happy Family," she writes of the missionary community, which is presumed to be one happy family, but often isn't. Yet, they are in many ways family. Then in Chapter 9, she speaks of the problem of the missions enterprise being "A Breeding Ground for Abuse." This is a disturbing chapter, but it is enlightening, for children have suffered traumatic mental, spiritual, and physical injury due to abuses, including sexual abuse. Often, little is ever done to hold abusers accountable. While abuse is one of the challenges, so is being "Sent Home" (ch. 10). Being sent home, which is different than going home, can result from several issues, some of which involve MKS and their behavior or situations. But again, abuse can often lead to families being sent home, ripping a child up from what has become home. Chapter 11 is titled "Fighting For Change." Here, there is some good news. Efforts have been made to change things, especially when it comes to oversight and accountability. A lot of this change is due to the lobbying of MK survivors, together with the larger public engaging in public shaming of mission organizations that cover up abuses. IN Chapter 12, she writes of when "Theology Trumps Policy." Here she tells about several places where "theology" led to challenges, such as the emergence of the Purity Culture in the early 2000s, which led to the shaming of victims of sexual assault and questions of gender equality. Here again, issues of race and racism emerge.
The final section, Part IV, focuses on the "Myth of Indispensibility." In other words, are missionaries indispensable? She reveals that they are not. So, in Chapter 13, titled "Getting Out of the Way," she reveals the many ways in which getting out of the way by American missionaries has proven to be a good thing. The problem is that many missionaries and their supporters don't trust the emergent communities of faith. The problem here is, as she notes, "one of the things Western Missionaries and ministries too often can't shed is a sense of their own righteousness, and sometimes the greater the sacrifice, the greater the tendency to slide into narcissism" (p. 221). In Chapter 14, "Searching for Home," Fletcher shares the difficult realities faced by MKs when they return to the States and search for a home that is not a home. They are, in many ways, nomads. For some, this leads them back to the mission field because that is the only home they have ever known. She reveals her own longing for home in Kenya. A lot of this involves not having a firm sense of identity.
As Fletcher writes in her conclusion, "The MK experience has a lot to teach the American church, but it has lessons for us all. The missionary kids know more than most how tenuous our grasp is on the things we try to own: identity, place, belonging." (p. 260). By unmasking the myths, Holly Berkey Fletcher helps us better understand the realities faced by MKs, but also raises questions about our own faith and how we live it. It's a complicated story, with both the good and the bad. But to understand the good, we must also acknowledge the bad and work to overcome it. Fletcher does an excellent job of telling the story that she and others experienced, hopefully so that things can change for the better.
Holly Berkley Fletcher offers us an inside look at life as an MK in "The Missionary Kids: Unmasking the Myths of White Evangelicalism." Fletcher spent much of her childhood as an MK in Kenya. She is also a historian, having earned a PhD in American History. Besides having taught at universities, she also served for nineteen years as a CIA analyst, focused on Africa. This book draws on her own experiences as well as interviews and conversations with other MKS. For that reason, we get a fairly full picture of what it is like to be an MK, both the joys and the sorrows. The subtitle hints at the purpose here, and that is to uncover the realities of life as an MK, realities that are too often shrouded in myths of sainthood and heroism. The truth is, not every missionary is a saint or a hero, and children can suffer as a result.
Fletcher begins the book with a haunting sentence: "I've only known one probable murderer in my life, and he was an evangelical missionary" (p. 1). With that, the myths of sainthood have been effectively unmasked. The murder she references is that of a missionary who was suspected of killing his wife. This missionary was highly celebrated, with many self-reported exploits, but is suspected of killing his wife while having an affair with another married missionary. As we move through the book, we encounter missionaries who sexually abuse their own children and the children of the communities they served. We hear of abuse that takes place at boarding schools. We also hear of the challenges of moving from the mission field back to the United States. Perhaps in a way similar to children of members of the military, they often return stateside not knowing a real home, for the home they have ever really known was on the mission field.
While Fletcher writes from a postevangelical perspective, she writes this book not to dismiss missionaries, but to help those who are not missionaries to better understand the realities faced by missionaries and their children. At a time when scandals have rocked the American church, especially the evangelical world, missionaries are still held in high regard. It is understandable, but missionaries are human beings and subject to human frailties. The problem is that too often there is little or no accountability, such that missionaries can engage in inappropriate behavior, which may be ignored or mishandled. Too often, there is little support, especially psychological support, for missionaries and their children. Fletcher does an excellent job in revealing these realities with compassion and clarity.
With all of this in mind, so that we gain a better understanding of what MKs face, she writes, "If missionaries are the evangelical rockstars, we are the roadies, of sorts---although we're along for the ride involuntarily, and perhaps not performing much actual labor. Then again, we're definitely carrying the baggage. Many of us grew up feeling it was on us to help make the stars look good: show up, do your job, don't complain, don't screw up" (p. 6). This message was often drilled into children of missionaries by their teachers and other mission leaders --- don't complain and don't mess up, lest you undermine the work of your parents. That's a big load to place on a child.
Fletcher divides her book into four parts: "The Myth of Calling;" The Myth of Multiculturalism," "The Myth of Saints," and "The Myth of Indispensibility." The first section of the book is divided into three chapters. The first is titled "Accessories to Martyrs," and it sets the stage for what comes later, as the parents are seen at times as martyrs while the children are simply there, often living far apart from their parents. She writes that "Missionaries' inability to offer their children a stable domestic life was alternately glossed over or played up in the context of their sacrifice and martyrdom" (p. 31). Chapter 2 focuses on calling and how that is experienced by MKS, who generally do not have a choice in the matter and can be put in dangerous and traumatic situations. Finally, in chapter 3, titled "Jesus Is Their Favorite," we learn of the challenge of parental neglect of MKs, who are often sent off to boarding schools far from their parents. Even many who do not go to such schools experience neglect as parents put ministry ahead of family.
Part 2 focuses on the Myth of Multiculturalism. The first chapter is titled "Bubble Boys and Girls." In this chapter (ch. 4), Fletcher reveals that rather than experiencing in any real way the cultural context in which their missionary parents work, they are often kept in a bubble. Part of that is rooted in racist attitudes toward the communities the missionaries are working. Fletcher shares her own experience being "bubblewrapped." In Chapter 5, this conversation is continued in "The Great (Race) Escape." Here, Fletcher notes how most American evangelical missionaries are white. Here again, the idea of color-blindness has replaced overt racism, but Black Christians continue to be silenced in White contexts. In Chapter 6, Fletcher speaks of "A Cultural Trade Imbalance." She notes here that while missionaries often bring American values and culture to their missionary efforts, little goes the other way. This includes, in terms of the educational experiences of MKs, who, at least until recently, rarely learned much of the culture and history of the places they were living, especially in African contexts, and rarely focused on the history and culture of the people where they were living.
Part III is titled "The Myth of Saints." It is here that we learn of the dark side of the missions enterprise. In Chapter 7, titled "The Untouchables," we learn of power dynamics in the missionary relationship with those they seek to reach, such that missionaries are rarely peers, often living at a higher standard of living than the people they seek to reach. This also includes a sense of isolation, especially for MKs. In Chapter 8, titled "One Big Happy Family," she writes of the missionary community, which is presumed to be one happy family, but often isn't. Yet, they are in many ways family. Then in Chapter 9, she speaks of the problem of the missions enterprise being "A Breeding Ground for Abuse." This is a disturbing chapter, but it is enlightening, for children have suffered traumatic mental, spiritual, and physical injury due to abuses, including sexual abuse. Often, little is ever done to hold abusers accountable. While abuse is one of the challenges, so is being "Sent Home" (ch. 10). Being sent home, which is different than going home, can result from several issues, some of which involve MKS and their behavior or situations. But again, abuse can often lead to families being sent home, ripping a child up from what has become home. Chapter 11 is titled "Fighting For Change." Here, there is some good news. Efforts have been made to change things, especially when it comes to oversight and accountability. A lot of this change is due to the lobbying of MK survivors, together with the larger public engaging in public shaming of mission organizations that cover up abuses. IN Chapter 12, she writes of when "Theology Trumps Policy." Here she tells about several places where "theology" led to challenges, such as the emergence of the Purity Culture in the early 2000s, which led to the shaming of victims of sexual assault and questions of gender equality. Here again, issues of race and racism emerge.
The final section, Part IV, focuses on the "Myth of Indispensibility." In other words, are missionaries indispensable? She reveals that they are not. So, in Chapter 13, titled "Getting Out of the Way," she reveals the many ways in which getting out of the way by American missionaries has proven to be a good thing. The problem is that many missionaries and their supporters don't trust the emergent communities of faith. The problem here is, as she notes, "one of the things Western Missionaries and ministries too often can't shed is a sense of their own righteousness, and sometimes the greater the sacrifice, the greater the tendency to slide into narcissism" (p. 221). In Chapter 14, "Searching for Home," Fletcher shares the difficult realities faced by MKs when they return to the States and search for a home that is not a home. They are, in many ways, nomads. For some, this leads them back to the mission field because that is the only home they have ever known. She reveals her own longing for home in Kenya. A lot of this involves not having a firm sense of identity.
As Fletcher writes in her conclusion, "The MK experience has a lot to teach the American church, but it has lessons for us all. The missionary kids know more than most how tenuous our grasp is on the things we try to own: identity, place, belonging." (p. 260). By unmasking the myths, Holly Berkey Fletcher helps us better understand the realities faced by MKs, but also raises questions about our own faith and how we live it. It's a complicated story, with both the good and the bad. But to understand the good, we must also acknowledge the bad and work to overcome it. Fletcher does an excellent job of telling the story that she and others experienced, hopefully so that things can change for the better.
November 28, 2025
This book is turbo cancer. And yet undiscerning, theologically liberal, and apostate readers will eat it up.
Holly Fletcher criticizes missionaries for abusing their kids by being too poor and for being a force of white colonialism when they are too rich. She bemoans the danger that missionary kids (MKs) are put through when they are exposed to dangerous cultures and she criticizes missionaries who protect their children from worldly danger by calling them narcissists and racists. She says mission fields need more oversight, counselors, and people to care for missionaries and MKs and then she criticizes these internal-facing positions as glorified tropical holidays for low achievers mooching off the system.
Missionaries are colonizers when they inculcate their children with American culture and values and they are neglectful when they fail to properly prepare their kids for life in America.
MKs who don’t learn the language are culturally sheltered and ignorant but MKs who do learn the language are cultural appropriators.
Missionaries are narrow-minded narcissists when they teach a historic Christian sexual ethic that doesn’t take into account local context and community stories but she is baffled and strongly disagrees with those African Methodists who left the United Methodist Church over the shifting sexual mores taught in American Methodist churches.
This list of constant contradictions continues for quite some time.
Ultimately the problem is that Holly Fletcher has no epistemological foundation. She has no rational ability to judge evangelical missionaries other than her whims because she finds the doctrine of infallibility absurd, hell is laughable, the exclusivity of Christ is a western invention, and the personal quality of God is debatable. She literally quotes the Frankfurt School and German higher criticism as if it was historic scholarship, and thus every other historic Christian doctrine is debatable. So I ask, by what standard, other than one of her own making, will Holly Fletcher judge evangelical missions?
Her answer, Love. Which she calls “the invisible force that holds everything together and is part of everything good, that beckons us to rise above our innate instinct for self-preservation and begs us to trust, to believe, and to rest, knowing all will be well in the end.”
Sorry Holly, I already took far above the acceptable dosage of “woo woo” space Buddhism by watching Star Wars. No need for more.
This is all the more painful when you consider the real testimonies of documented abuse that can take place in and around the mission field. Ultimately Holly has no answer for these legitimate cries for justice because she has abandoned that category entirely, rather opting for poor replacements like community action, acknowledging each other’s stories, and dismantling whiteness.
Holly Fletcher criticizes missionaries for abusing their kids by being too poor and for being a force of white colonialism when they are too rich. She bemoans the danger that missionary kids (MKs) are put through when they are exposed to dangerous cultures and she criticizes missionaries who protect their children from worldly danger by calling them narcissists and racists. She says mission fields need more oversight, counselors, and people to care for missionaries and MKs and then she criticizes these internal-facing positions as glorified tropical holidays for low achievers mooching off the system.
Missionaries are colonizers when they inculcate their children with American culture and values and they are neglectful when they fail to properly prepare their kids for life in America.
MKs who don’t learn the language are culturally sheltered and ignorant but MKs who do learn the language are cultural appropriators.
Missionaries are narrow-minded narcissists when they teach a historic Christian sexual ethic that doesn’t take into account local context and community stories but she is baffled and strongly disagrees with those African Methodists who left the United Methodist Church over the shifting sexual mores taught in American Methodist churches.
This list of constant contradictions continues for quite some time.
Ultimately the problem is that Holly Fletcher has no epistemological foundation. She has no rational ability to judge evangelical missionaries other than her whims because she finds the doctrine of infallibility absurd, hell is laughable, the exclusivity of Christ is a western invention, and the personal quality of God is debatable. She literally quotes the Frankfurt School and German higher criticism as if it was historic scholarship, and thus every other historic Christian doctrine is debatable. So I ask, by what standard, other than one of her own making, will Holly Fletcher judge evangelical missions?
Her answer, Love. Which she calls “the invisible force that holds everything together and is part of everything good, that beckons us to rise above our innate instinct for self-preservation and begs us to trust, to believe, and to rest, knowing all will be well in the end.”
Sorry Holly, I already took far above the acceptable dosage of “woo woo” space Buddhism by watching Star Wars. No need for more.
This is all the more painful when you consider the real testimonies of documented abuse that can take place in and around the mission field. Ultimately Holly has no answer for these legitimate cries for justice because she has abandoned that category entirely, rather opting for poor replacements like community action, acknowledging each other’s stories, and dismantling whiteness.
November 1, 2025
A challenging read, particularly as an MK myself, not because I disagree with much of it but because I agree. Fletcher exposes much of the dark underside of the white American missions movement, and some of her writing captures so well the tensions I have felt as an MK. I'm grateful not to have experienced all the negative aspects that she details, but I definitely resonate with certain aspects, and I'm grateful to have them out in the world in written form. I will say I struggled some with the cynical tone throughout a lot of the book, but, well, the author clearly has a lot of cynicism about missions...it's kind of the point of the book. She does make an effort to acknowledge the good that has been done by missionaries, but the focus is, rightly, on the harm that is often done through missions. I love my parents and have a lot of gratitude for my upbringing, but I think most of what this book says needed to be said, perhaps just not always in the way it was said. But I get it- the author is just honestly processing her experience and what she sees, and there is pain and damage there.
I think one point of partial disagreement is that I think if we really believe in the God of the Bible, then sometimes He will call us, really and truly, into risk, and we can't always fully shield our families from that. So yes, I think there are people who needlessly endanger themselves and their families, but I think God can call us into places that are difficult, and that may even bring about events that cause our kids to end up in therapy. And I'm not even talking about living overseas, per se. I'm thinking about if I have kids and raising them in my current house, which is in a neighborhood with lots of drugs and crime right here in the good ol' USA, because it seems God has planted my wife and I here. Just because we have the resources to move, I don't think safety and minimizing risk for our families is the highest priority in the kingdom of God (and to be fair, I don't think Fletcher says that exactly). But who knows? God may have different ideas.
Overall a very worthwhile read for anyone invested in or interested in missions, told through the lens of the MK experience.
I think one point of partial disagreement is that I think if we really believe in the God of the Bible, then sometimes He will call us, really and truly, into risk, and we can't always fully shield our families from that. So yes, I think there are people who needlessly endanger themselves and their families, but I think God can call us into places that are difficult, and that may even bring about events that cause our kids to end up in therapy. And I'm not even talking about living overseas, per se. I'm thinking about if I have kids and raising them in my current house, which is in a neighborhood with lots of drugs and crime right here in the good ol' USA, because it seems God has planted my wife and I here. Just because we have the resources to move, I don't think safety and minimizing risk for our families is the highest priority in the kingdom of God (and to be fair, I don't think Fletcher says that exactly). But who knows? God may have different ideas.
Overall a very worthwhile read for anyone invested in or interested in missions, told through the lens of the MK experience.
January 10, 2026
So I need to rant a little bit…
First off this book was hard to read. Holly Fletcher brought up a lot of topics that I was content not thinking about yet or forming opinions on. It was difficult, but I believe helpful for processing part of my own story.
Fletcher did a great job of challenging many of the preconceived (and often unmerited) attitudes of the church towards missions, missionaries, and MKs in general. Being a missionary doesn't make you a "super Christian" and going on a missions trip can’t validate to your faith regardless of what others may think.
As a MK I found this book to be a helpful, unique perspective on something that is often idolized in many Christian circles. Like Fletcher, I agree that not all missionaries are bad. There are many great Christians out there who God can use in good ways. Rather it’s the culture and system of American missions that Fletcher critiques. It’s the shameful voice that says “if you were a real, strong Christian you would be a missionary.” It’s the culture that makes missionaries spin their stories in ways that will allow them to gain more support, often leaving out aspects of reality for the sake of embellishment.
I really enjoyed this book even as it challenged me. I cannot confidently say that I agree with everything Fletcher said, and there are some things I have yet to fully process and form my own opinions on. I do however appreciate how thought provoking and well constructed her ideas are. This book starts with a story of murder and ends with a call to love. Missions are messy. Missionaries are imperfect people who are often needed to be perceived as the opposite. The mission field is full of those who seek fame, glory, or sometimes a confirmation that they are faithful. As Fletcher writes and reveals the darker and often overlooked side of missions, she critiques a system for loosing sight of its original purpose—love.
First off this book was hard to read. Holly Fletcher brought up a lot of topics that I was content not thinking about yet or forming opinions on. It was difficult, but I believe helpful for processing part of my own story.
Fletcher did a great job of challenging many of the preconceived (and often unmerited) attitudes of the church towards missions, missionaries, and MKs in general. Being a missionary doesn't make you a "super Christian" and going on a missions trip can’t validate to your faith regardless of what others may think.
As a MK I found this book to be a helpful, unique perspective on something that is often idolized in many Christian circles. Like Fletcher, I agree that not all missionaries are bad. There are many great Christians out there who God can use in good ways. Rather it’s the culture and system of American missions that Fletcher critiques. It’s the shameful voice that says “if you were a real, strong Christian you would be a missionary.” It’s the culture that makes missionaries spin their stories in ways that will allow them to gain more support, often leaving out aspects of reality for the sake of embellishment.
I really enjoyed this book even as it challenged me. I cannot confidently say that I agree with everything Fletcher said, and there are some things I have yet to fully process and form my own opinions on. I do however appreciate how thought provoking and well constructed her ideas are. This book starts with a story of murder and ends with a call to love. Missions are messy. Missionaries are imperfect people who are often needed to be perceived as the opposite. The mission field is full of those who seek fame, glory, or sometimes a confirmation that they are faithful. As Fletcher writes and reveals the darker and often overlooked side of missions, she critiques a system for loosing sight of its original purpose—love.
December 5, 2025
This is an extraordinary book that might be the most thought provoking experience I’ve had this year.
The author was a missionary kid who attended Rift Valley Academy. She challenges so many preconceptions we have about missions, but the most powerful one is this: knowing that missions can be extremely difficult on children, that it can inflict life long trauma, why would you have a boarding school for MK’s?
One answer is that many missionaries live in dangerous areas without appropriate educational opportunities for the children. Schools like RVA seek to bridge the gap. As a 14 year staff member, I would say the majority of the staff tried hard to provide a positive experience for the students.
However.
Is there any justification for putting children in harm’s way? Most missionaries default to calling, and there is little pushback to someone who says they feel called to a dangerous area. Is that a good thing?
The presumption is that God needs missionaries, and the author isn’t so sure. I’m sure this can lead to lots of discussion, but maybe it is time to have that conversation.
It was the honor of my lifetime to work at RVA, and I’ll always be grateful, but this book challenges so many accepted norms, and I’m thankful for the author’s perspective.
It’s very well written, and she is both wise and really funny. It’s a very important book.
The author was a missionary kid who attended Rift Valley Academy. She challenges so many preconceptions we have about missions, but the most powerful one is this: knowing that missions can be extremely difficult on children, that it can inflict life long trauma, why would you have a boarding school for MK’s?
One answer is that many missionaries live in dangerous areas without appropriate educational opportunities for the children. Schools like RVA seek to bridge the gap. As a 14 year staff member, I would say the majority of the staff tried hard to provide a positive experience for the students.
However.
Is there any justification for putting children in harm’s way? Most missionaries default to calling, and there is little pushback to someone who says they feel called to a dangerous area. Is that a good thing?
The presumption is that God needs missionaries, and the author isn’t so sure. I’m sure this can lead to lots of discussion, but maybe it is time to have that conversation.
It was the honor of my lifetime to work at RVA, and I’ll always be grateful, but this book challenges so many accepted norms, and I’m thankful for the author’s perspective.
It’s very well written, and she is both wise and really funny. It’s a very important book.
August 20, 2025
In the book Holly accurately describe the MK experience, not feeling at home with any culture and the disconnection of relationship between kids and parents and family. As well as accurately describing the paradox between the adults on the mission field that are said to be trustworthy and safe, but often times are not. She shows how missions initiate punishment for children and missionary families when Children are struggling, but not discipline or deal with the adults on the field who are harming others.
Overall, this book was excellent. It gave me words to describe feelings that I had from my personal experience as an MK that I had previously not been able to describe. I would highly recommend this book to other missionary kids and anyone who works with missionary kids, especially in a mental health Field.
My biggest critique of this work is that I wish the author was the one to read the audiobook. I feel like there was some inflections and experiences that could have been even more powerful if it was the author reading the book for the audio version.
Overall, this book was excellent. It gave me words to describe feelings that I had from my personal experience as an MK that I had previously not been able to describe. I would highly recommend this book to other missionary kids and anyone who works with missionary kids, especially in a mental health Field.
My biggest critique of this work is that I wish the author was the one to read the audiobook. I feel like there was some inflections and experiences that could have been even more powerful if it was the author reading the book for the audio version.
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November 30, 2025A bracing, empathetic look at the children of American missionaries who grew up abroad. Abuse looms disturbingly large in their stories.
Money quote: “More than one survivor has noted the interesting parallel between how their abuse was handled and how white evangelicals engage America’s racial history: contain it, personalize it, separate from it. Like that of Black Americans, abuse survivors’ very existence shakes white evangelicalism’s sense of self by embodying its complicity with evil.”
“As for me, I’m feeling pretty normal these days, too (well, grading on an individualized curve). Mostly by letting go. Of who I am, who I want to be, how I am understood. Of what I believe. I’ve learned to bob gently in a sea of ambiguity and ambivalence, to become part of the waves and the flow of the tides. Jesus said if you want to keep your life, you give it up. And maybe if you want a home, you stop searching.”
Money quote: “More than one survivor has noted the interesting parallel between how their abuse was handled and how white evangelicals engage America’s racial history: contain it, personalize it, separate from it. Like that of Black Americans, abuse survivors’ very existence shakes white evangelicalism’s sense of self by embodying its complicity with evil.”
“As for me, I’m feeling pretty normal these days, too (well, grading on an individualized curve). Mostly by letting go. Of who I am, who I want to be, how I am understood. Of what I believe. I’ve learned to bob gently in a sea of ambiguity and ambivalence, to become part of the waves and the flow of the tides. Jesus said if you want to keep your life, you give it up. And maybe if you want a home, you stop searching.”
September 25, 2025
This was a great examination into missionary work as viewed through the children of missionaries. I would note that you do not need to be religious to read this book - the author's points relate more to the concept and experience of mission work rather than the religious justification.
I found this book to be incredibly interesting. I have done a short term mission (one week in length) and while I had a great time while I was there, it did overall leave a bad taste in my mouth, as I knew nothing I was doing there was any more helpful (or even as helpful, period) to these communities as money would be. Granted, this "mission" was more to help give food to families in need than convert them, but the sentiment is the same regardless.
The author examines a wide variety of impacts of mission work, from the abuse of children (both native to the country the mission is in, and of the missionaries themselves) to the globalization of American Christianity. While I learned a lot about mission work generally, I also feel like I learned a lot about how mission work has impacted Christianity in other parts of the world. I would love to look further into this, and I feel like this could be a great next book for the author.
Selfishly, my favorite part of this book was her discussion of missionary kids returning to the United States. Ignoring the religious part of the conversation, I felt very connected to some of her stories. As someone who went to elementary school abroad, I felt understood by the author's experience of feeling connected to Kenya without actually being Kenyan - something I struggle with as a white woman who has a significant amount of Chinese art and furniture in her house. I had never heard of the concept of "third culture children' before, and this has truly opened my eyes in ways I didn't even think about in the past. I am grateful to have read this book and learned a new area to read about to learn more about myself.
Thank you to Broadleaf Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
I found this book to be incredibly interesting. I have done a short term mission (one week in length) and while I had a great time while I was there, it did overall leave a bad taste in my mouth, as I knew nothing I was doing there was any more helpful (or even as helpful, period) to these communities as money would be. Granted, this "mission" was more to help give food to families in need than convert them, but the sentiment is the same regardless.
The author examines a wide variety of impacts of mission work, from the abuse of children (both native to the country the mission is in, and of the missionaries themselves) to the globalization of American Christianity. While I learned a lot about mission work generally, I also feel like I learned a lot about how mission work has impacted Christianity in other parts of the world. I would love to look further into this, and I feel like this could be a great next book for the author.
Selfishly, my favorite part of this book was her discussion of missionary kids returning to the United States. Ignoring the religious part of the conversation, I felt very connected to some of her stories. As someone who went to elementary school abroad, I felt understood by the author's experience of feeling connected to Kenya without actually being Kenyan - something I struggle with as a white woman who has a significant amount of Chinese art and furniture in her house. I had never heard of the concept of "third culture children' before, and this has truly opened my eyes in ways I didn't even think about in the past. I am grateful to have read this book and learned a new area to read about to learn more about myself.
Thank you to Broadleaf Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
August 20, 2025
A fresh, new voice has given us a masterpiece on American evangelicalism--how we got where we are as a nation and as a movement--and presented this eye-opening historical account through the distinct lens of missionary kids' experiences. A unique take, indeed.
I was mesmerized. Nearly exhausted a whole highlighter and a pack of tape flags. Dr. Fletcher truly captures the beautiful, priceless, and inspirational parts of the MK experience--and clearly lays out the ugly, traumatizing, and downright tragic elements, as well. I know because I lived it--neighboring country, same boarding school, same mission organization, knew the same predators. She just nails it.
I came away from this book understanding myself, my immediate ancestors, and the hardcore subsection of the white, American, evangelical subculture in which I was brought up in a whole new way. It has helped me in "rummaging through the luggage of [my] life to see how [I] might incorporate it into [my] present self" (page 160). That is no mean feat, and she has crushed the assignment.
This book is an act of courage; there will be controversy, fallout, and pushback. Historically, our community likes silent victims, hates whistleblowers. This is a stunning debut, and I cannot wait to read what Dr. Fletcher brings us next.
PSA: Do be careful of drinking while reading, as you will encounter numerous instances of unexpected spit-take hilarity. You have been warned.
I was mesmerized. Nearly exhausted a whole highlighter and a pack of tape flags. Dr. Fletcher truly captures the beautiful, priceless, and inspirational parts of the MK experience--and clearly lays out the ugly, traumatizing, and downright tragic elements, as well. I know because I lived it--neighboring country, same boarding school, same mission organization, knew the same predators. She just nails it.
I came away from this book understanding myself, my immediate ancestors, and the hardcore subsection of the white, American, evangelical subculture in which I was brought up in a whole new way. It has helped me in "rummaging through the luggage of [my] life to see how [I] might incorporate it into [my] present self" (page 160). That is no mean feat, and she has crushed the assignment.
This book is an act of courage; there will be controversy, fallout, and pushback. Historically, our community likes silent victims, hates whistleblowers. This is a stunning debut, and I cannot wait to read what Dr. Fletcher brings us next.
PSA: Do be careful of drinking while reading, as you will encounter numerous instances of unexpected spit-take hilarity. You have been warned.
August 30, 2025
A rare and compelling combination of personal, political, history and religion. A fascinating socio-political examination of evangelical missionary work but even more than that a story of adolescence, searching for home and the personal ramifications of growing up as a missionary kid. A rare "serious" book that becomes a heartfelt story and page turner.
September 9, 2025
Should be required reading for every MK. I was fortunate enough to go to a high school and college that followed the then-quite-new TCK transition materials by Dave Pollock, but decades later, I still live in a cultural limbo. (I also highly recommend the book Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss to all MKs and TCKs.)
One note- the author grew up Southern Baptist, and so didn’t come from the same financial background many (most) MKs do-a background of chronic financial insecurity. (SOB’s, as we called them, sorry lol, we were probably jealous- were the kids our mission group kids referred to as “rich”.) In addition to this constant financial concern hanging over your heads, missionaries who have to raise their own support can end up feeling a very unhealthy sense of “owing” to the individuals and churches who support them. While some of this was touched on, these things leave huge and lasting marks on MKs and if the author were to ever publish another edition, it would be great if she could work with a co- author to add another chapter that focuses more specifically on this.
One note- the author grew up Southern Baptist, and so didn’t come from the same financial background many (most) MKs do-a background of chronic financial insecurity. (SOB’s, as we called them, sorry lol, we were probably jealous- were the kids our mission group kids referred to as “rich”.) In addition to this constant financial concern hanging over your heads, missionaries who have to raise their own support can end up feeling a very unhealthy sense of “owing” to the individuals and churches who support them. While some of this was touched on, these things leave huge and lasting marks on MKs and if the author were to ever publish another edition, it would be great if she could work with a co- author to add another chapter that focuses more specifically on this.
September 11, 2025
Excellent. Should be required reading for all MKs, missionaries, and anyone considering missions. Although, I personally had a mostly positive experience, I do identify with much in this book. I also know far too many MKs that had very negative experiences that are very well represented in this book.
Mostly, this book addresses the difficulties of being a former MK. We are a strange breed, and there is no fix, but acknowledging our challenges is a good place to start.
Mostly, this book addresses the difficulties of being a former MK. We are a strange breed, and there is no fix, but acknowledging our challenges is a good place to start.
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