Ο χορδιστής του πιάνου

by Chiang-Sheng Kuo, Βίκυ Πορφυρίδου (Translator)

Ένας χήρος που θρηνεί για τον χαμό της νεαρής συζύγου του. Ένας χορδιστής πιάνου που κρατά βαθιά κρυμμένα μέσα του τα μυστικά μιας ολόκληρης ζωής. Ένα ξεκούρδιστο Steinway. Ένα ταξίδι αυτογνωσίας στον χρόνο, από ήπειρο σε ήπειρο, από ένα σκοτεινό διαμέρισμα στη γειτονιά με τα κόκκινα φανάρια της Ταϊπέι, ως τη χιονισμένη Νέα Υόρκη.

Ο χορδιστής του πιάνου είναι ένα μικρό και ταυτόχρονα τόσο δυνατό μυθιστόρημα. Ένα βιβλίο ήχων: ήχων μουσικής και ήχων που πηγάζουν από τα βάθη της καρδιάς, από τον Ραχμάνινοφ ως τον Σούμπερτ, από τον Γκλεν Γκουλντ ως τον Σβιατοσλάβ Ρίχτερ, από τις ευκαιρίες που αφήνει κανείς ανεκμετάλλευτες ως τη δίχως ανταπόκριση αγάπη.

Μπορεί αυτό να είναι το πορτρέτο ενός «αποτυχημένου» καλλιτέχνη, μα είναι συνάμα ένα κυνήγι, της απόλυτης ομορφιάς στη μουσική και στην αγάπη.

Genres: Fiction, Audiobook, Music, Contemporary, Asia, China, Short Stories

138 pages, Unknown Binding

First published April 1, 2020

Reviews

[Rosh · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a Nutshell: Good in bits and pieces, but as a whole, it didn’t work much for me. The writing is a treat to the senses, but the nonlinear flow and abstract hops across people and timeframes made this a tricky read.

Story Synopsis:

Lin San is an old widower mourning the death of his young wife Emily. In a subconscious quest towards healing the present grief and past hurts, he ends getting close to the narrator of this story, the piano tuner who remains unnamed for most of the story. However, the piano tuner has secrets of his own, and through his thoughts, we discover a story of broken dreams and shattered hopes, and the impact these have on their harbourers.
The story is written in a random mix of first person (the piano tuner) and third person (Lin San and a couple of other characters.)

While the story begins with a focus on Lin San, we realise as it progresses that the main character is, as the title suggests, the piano tuner. He begins as a simple character, but soon his thoughts show how much he hides beneath that ordinary exterior. Getting to understand his persona under the façade is the main crux of the story.

We see the other characters only through the piano tuner’s words and memories. As such, they are revealed to us only in fleeting glances, except for Lin San who gets a greater presence in the story by virtue of having the only direct interaction with the tuner in the present time. Yet, all the characters are complicated to understand.

Adding to the trouble is the random switch between first person and third person, sometimes within a few paragraphs without any indication of the jump. It is a task to keep track of the dominant narrative voice when the hops across characters are abrupt. (I am not too sure if this was a formatting problem in my digital ARC, or a problem with the translation, or maybe both.) The unveiling of the events is not chronological, which is the icing on the cake of confusion.

All is not lost, though. There are enough of positives also in this novella. The writing is lyrical, with thought-provoking quotes scattered generously throughout the book. I adored all the bits connected to the piano, right from their manufacturing to the role of piano tuners, to the anecdotes about classical composers, to even the parallels between tuning an instrument and narrating a story. While a certain amount of familiarity will help you appreciate these specific elements better, it is not mandatory as the writing is fluid enough to adapt to your level of understanding.

The ending is quite abrupt, and that was the deal-breaker for me. Until then, I was still okay with giving this emotional story a 3.5, and rounding it up. But I was left wanting a lot more with that brusque finish, and hence my rating gets rounded downwards.

This is my first novel by a Taiwanese writer, so I am not sure if the book depicts the writing style of the author or the country. Either way, this was a good book in many ways, but not the right book for me. It was supposedly a huge hit in Taiwan and a winner of every major literary award there, so this might reveal to us the preferred style in Taiwanese literature.

All in all, this is a poignant story with many merits. But I am left feeling like a novice gazing at an abstract painting and trying to figure out what it means beyond the colours and shapes on the surface. What I can see looks good to my eyes, but my brain is mostly befuddled at trying to piece together the distinct elements of the work into a cohesive whole.

3.5 stars, rounding down.


My thanks to Simon & Schuster, Arcade, and Edelweiss+ for the DRC of “The Piano Tuner”. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.



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[Terrie Robinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Piano Tuner by Chiang-sheng Kuo is a Short Read/Listen!

The unnamed piano tuner is also the narrator of this story. By his own admission, he's in his 40's, balding, and unattractive. As a child he was a musical prodigy who became a piano teacher in his adulthood. He speaks at length about his choice of transitioning to the role of a piano tuner. He shares with the reader/listener details of his life as it was and as it is now...

As I listened to this audiobook, I thought perhaps I was missing parts of the story. It jumps unexpectedly to various timelines and to who is speaking. I re-listened to sections hoping for better comprehension but I didn't miss anything. What I heard the first time is what I heard again.

I feel pretty confident in saying I'm adept at following a complicated story and discovering the underlying meaning(s) within, but this short listen has me stumped. The narrator rambles and jumps from topic to topic, never getting to an end point. While listening I would completely lose focus, the desire to continue, and finishing this was tough.

Is this the piano tuner's story or the story of those around him? Is he trying to substantiate his choices in life or is he masking something deeper such as 'fear of failure' and 'lack of self-esteem'? See? I really do want to know more!

The audiobook narrator, Fernando Chien, does a wonderful job of voicing, however it's not enough to keep me connected to the story or the characters. The writing is lovely but the construction of the story lacks connectivity for me.

I'm so glad Chiang-sheng Kuo has a dedicated and supportive readership/audience. Sadly, The Piano Tuner is not a story that resonates with me.

2.5 stars rounded down.

Thank you to NetGalley, Dreamscape Media, and Chiang-sheng Kuo for an ALC of this book. It's a pleasure to give my honest review.

[Bkwmlee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t remember how this book got onto my radar, as I’m not as familiar with Taiwanese literature as I am with Hong Kong literature, but seeing that this was a short novella, I decided to pick it up last minute as a way to round out my January reads.

Overall, this was a good story, but a bit confusing and hard to follow. The structure was a nonlinear one that jumped back and forth in time, which normally wouldn’t be too much of a problem, but this one also happened to jump back and forth between first person and third person narrative voice as well (a few times, it jumped to second person too, which completely baffled me) — both of these things combined, along with the lack of distinctive breaks between the narration, plus lyrical prose that bordered on abstract in some places, made this an unnecessarily exhausting and tedious read. The entire story was narrated by the eponymous piano tuner, but presented in snippets of his thoughts that seemed to run together jumbled between his past and current lives, making it difficult to truly understand what was going on at times with the story.

It also didn’t help that the ending was very abrupt — the type of ending that seemed to stop in the middle of a thought — to the point that I thought perhaps I was missing a few pages of the book (which, thinking about it now, is still possible, as the version I read was an ARC that I downloaded several months back, which, according to my e-reader, ended at the 99% mark and didn’t have any other pages after it, not even an acknowledgments page).

I think this had the potential to be a meaningful, emotionally nuanced story, but the structure and the switching of the voices was too distracting and unfortunately drowned out that part of the story. Perhaps it would’ve been better for me to read this one in its original language (Chinese) rather than the translated version, as I honestly can’t help but feel that maybe something got lost in translation somewhere. While I don’t regret reading this one, plus there were actually some elements of it that I really liked (such as the parts where the narrator talks about the piano pieces and the interesting backstories of the artists), the experience overall was underwhelming. If I’m able to find the Chinese version, maybe I’ll try that and see if my experience is any different…for now though, this definitely more of a borderline 3 star read for me.

Received ARC from Arcade Books via Edelweiss.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and Skyhorse Publishing for an egalley in exchange for an honest review

This short non-linear novel is narrated by the character mentioned in the title -the piano tuner. When the novel begins it appears that as the narrator we will follow the May-December romance of a widower and his talented pianist wife and what the narrator knows about them. While there are hints of that, it is really about the piano tuner himself. How he held a lot of talent as a piano player but life didn't seem to allow them to make all their dreams come true. Not sure that I always quite believed he was the most reliable of narrators but perhaps others have made me jaded over the years.

I enjoyed the story despite the abrupt ending. I loved all the piano facts and discussions of famous pianists, including Canada's Glenn Gould. A man that I didn't know a lot about but I feel I know much more now.

Publication Date 03/01/23
Goodreads Review 04/01/23

[Michał Michalski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jak do filmów Won Kar-Wai'a, potrzeba tu pewnego rodzaju wrażliwości. Może to być nieznośne, ale może też ujmować. Mnie akurat ujmuje.

[Faith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was not the right reader for this book. I don’t care about pianos or timbre or famous pianists, and the story of the piano tuner was presented in such a jumbled fashion that it never grabbed me. I completely missed whatever makes this novella “a delightful read”, as described in the blurb. I thought it was both boring and confusingly written. It had an abrupt ending, which I suppose was fitting. Really, why should the end of the book be any more coherent than the rest of it? 2.5 stars

I received free copies of the audiobook and ebook from the publisher.

[spillingthematcha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Trudno ocenić mi tę książkę, ponieważ nie wywołała we mnie żadnych emocji. Trochę zmarnowany potencjał, więc jak dla mnie duże rozczarowanie.

[mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5★ rounded to 4★

»Music lets us hear time pass and it lets us hear our shadows.«

A grieving husband with Steinway that is out of tune. A piano tuner that was once a musical prodigy, but today doesn’t own a piano. Unusual friendship forms between the two.

A beautiful novella if you like or play piano, especially if you like classical music and a beautiful meditation on pianos, pianists and music.

Thanks to Arcade for the ARC and this opportunity! This is a voluntary review and all opinions are my own.

[Tomasz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Spokojna, wręcz zbyt spokojna proza, która nie wywołała we mnie właściwie żadnych uczuć. Nie potrafię właściwie napisać o niej niczego szczególnego, bo sprawia wrażenie niepełnej, jakby stanowiła szkic. Nie dla mnie i nie potrafię wskazać dla kogo.

[Marta Demianiuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Czuję niedosyt. Początek zapowiadał się fantastycznie, a potem zaczął się robić jakiś chaos? Albo ja po prostu nie do końca łapię, o co dokładnie chodzi narratorowi, jaki jest cel jego opowieści i czemu kończy się akurat tak.

Ale to było bardzo przyjemne w lekturze. Lubię motywy muzyczne w książkach.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Utterly original and deeply moving. I thoroughly enjoyed this powerful little novella about a nameless piano tuner. Now a widower in his forties he reflects back on his life as a piano prodigy and the love he had for his much younger wife who died tragically of pancreatic cancer. Great on audio and highly recommended if you're looking for a quick read that will give you lots of feels! Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Mewa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Autor ma ogromny potencjał, ale akurat ten tytuł zdaje się taki... Niepełny. Jakby zabrakło mu polotu, choć klimat został utkany pięknie, a autor starał się zgrabnie odbić dusze bohaterów. Reszta jednak wywołała we mnie mieszane uczucia. Ani dobre, ani złe.

[Ola | nawyk czytania · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,25/5✨
Zupełnie mnie nie zaangażowała i nie przyciągnęła do siebie. Z serii słucham jednym uchem, wypuszczam drugim.
Niemniej refleksje nad miłością do muzyki, wrodzonym geniuszem oraz od czasu do czasu, opisy uczuć bohatera, a no i nietypowa narracja, to elementy, wyróżniające jednak tę pozycję. Nie było one jednak na tyle silne na przestrzeni tej historii, by, no właśnie, zapadła mi ona jakkolwiek w pamięć.

[aly ☆彡 · Rating 2 out of 5]

either im dumb or its the matter of getting lost in translation that it also loses me.

i like few tidbits of this book but it doesnt work out as a whole. i love flowery prose at times but i prefer this story of piano tuner conveyed in a more straight forward manner.

further rtc

[Krzysztof Cieślik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dobra powieść, nie że wybitna, ale dostatecznie dobra, żeby wydać

[Readingcarefully · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nic w niej nie ma, wielkie rozczarowanie

[Adelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A real dream is a force to prop you up when you're helpless and lost."

This is a quietly beautiful story of love and dreams. We journey through the lives of a nameless piano tuner and grieving widower, learning how passion, dreams, love, and music have shaped them. However, the best way to understand the book is hidden away in the title. The Chinese title is "尋琴者," roughly translating to "Seeker of Pianos." The second character 琴(piano) is also a homophone for 情(love). The duality and wordplay, "Seeker of Pianos" and "Seeker of Love", binds together the stories of the characters' search for music and love throughout their lives. Do the characters ever find what they're searching for? Read and find out.

The writing is tender, lyrical, and memorable. The narrator both poignantly makes observations on life, "While creating a melodious timbre, the instrument itself must withstand immensely painful tension"; and humorously pokes fun at this role "I have enough self-awareness to know that I'm not the protagonist."

I'd recommend this book to Kazuo Ishiguro fans. It's a short and beautiful read that is sure to stay with readers afterwards.

Thank you Skyhorse Publishing for providing me with an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Kamilė | cobwebshelves · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I'm no piano executioner. I'm a piano tuner. The job of a tuner is to do his best to cover up your defects and make you charming and delightful, so you'll be treasured and adored."

It seems that books concerning piano tuners are a very niche sub-genre that I seem to really enjoy. There are few similarities to "A Forest of Wool and Steel", but some of the descriptions of the piano as an instrument, of the process of its building and tuning, reminded me of Miyashita's book.

Before I discuss anything, I must commend Howard Goldblatt and Sylvia Li-chun Lin for their work on the translation. I believe this is my first venture into Taiwanese literature, and it left a positive impression.

This is not a story about the piano tuner, or so he claims as the narrator. It's a story about Lin, a widower whose wife left a piano studio behind. However, the tuner is not someone you'd consider to be a reliable narrator. Through the tentative relationship he builds with Lin, and their shared grief, he uncovers, layer by layer, the events of his life that led him to where he is today – a genius would-be pianist who took an unexpected path. He leaves a lot implicit, not uncovering the subtleties, particularly in terms of relationships and sexuality. While short, the novel keeps you hooked, reeling you in slowly, one movement after another, until the final crescendo.

The story, which is told non-linearly, is interspersed with the histories of famous pianists, focusing particularly on the 20th century, that tie back to the story in its finale. The flashbacks to the tuner's childhood and youth balance out the slow pace of the present day.

While the novel may make more sense if you already have some background knowledge of music theory, it's nevertheless an intriguing and captivating read.

Thanks to NetGalley and Sky Horse Publishing for the access.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

An ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.

3.5/5 Stars

This is a short novel that honestly left me wanting more. The main character of this story is a piano tuner who's now forty. As a child he was told he had great potential as a pianist, but now he tunes these instruments and only gets to play when he's doing his job. We get to know what happened in the character's life through various moments in the story, which is filled with a profound devotion for music and also an everlasting sorrow. I'm no expert on classical music but reading the passages this book offers was mesmerizing and I appreciated how beautifully this novel was written.
Even though I would have liked to have more pages of this story, I do recommend for what it is, which is a good work of literary fiction infused with a deep love for music.

[klaudia katarzyna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Im się jest starszym, tym bardziej się człowiek boi zrobić z siebie głupka, a im bardziej się boisz, tym trudniej zacząć.

nie jestem pewna czy miałam jakiekolwiek oczekiwania wobec tej książki, czytając opinie na goodreads, jak i na instagramie, miałam mieszane uczucia i ostatecznie sama nie wiem co sądzić.
czy jestem zachwycona? nie, ale było to dosyć przyjemne. jest to inny styl niż to, co czytam na co dzień, ale nie będę mówić nic negatywnego.
książka daje duże pole do interpretacji i jeśli byłabym w innym miejscu w życiu prawdopodobnie inaczej odebrałabym całość przesłania.

[ola_hiperbola · Rating 2 out of 5]

Spokojna i uwrażliwiająca, ale dla mnie trochę za spokojna, niestety raczej nie zapadanie mi w pamięć (edit: już kompletnie nic z niej nie pamiętam)
I w sumie nie wiem co miała przekazać oprócz oczywistej kwestii.
Na plus ciekawostki muzyczne i przyrównywanie ich do różnych aspektów życia czy zachowań ludzkich.

[Aleksandra Gratka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Według opowieści otwierającej tę książkę, to muzyka sprawiła, że wolne i nieokiełznane dusze oblekły się w ciała. Tylko w ten sposób mogły w pełni obcować z pięknem dźwięków. Od tej pory uwięzione są w kształtach, które żyją, mają marzenia, nadzieje i sporo rozczarowań...
"Wiem, kim jestem. Nikim ważnym w tej historii" - to mówi tytułowy stroiciel fortepianów, narrator, który jest tu przecież najważniejszy. Wirtuoz niewiele zdziała bez dobrze nastrojonego instrumentu, opowieść nie porwie, gdy narrator nieumiejetnie ją przedstawi.
Stroiciel, dojrzały mężczyzna, samotny jak czarny klawisz wśród przytulonych do siebie białych, snuje opowieść o sobie - cudownym dziecku, które urodziło się w nieodpowiedniej rodzinie, młodzieńcu zafascynowanym pianistą i rozczarowaniu zostawiającym rysę na duszy i na pięknym fortepianie. Rozmowy z wdowcem, którego żona miała talent i tajemnice, podróż do Nowego Jorku, wreszcie, czy przede wszystkim muzyka, która tu płynie z każdego niemal zdania - ach, piękna to lektura!
Historia stroiciela, "nikogo ważnego", to historia, w której możemy się przejrzeć jak w lustrze. Stracone szanse, ludzie, którzy zaskakują, gorzki smak porażki i przełamujący to smak pogodzenia się ze światem i z sobą. Nie jestem melomanką, ale muzyka jest dla mnie ważna. Bardzo więc przemówiły do mnie emocje człowieka, dla którego muzyka to życie. Podczas lektury słuchałam wspomnianych w niej kompozycji Rachmaninowa (z naciskiem na "Vocalise") czy wykonań Glenna Goulda i było to piękne dopełnienie.
Wydaje mi się, że w tej nostalgicznej opowieści nie ma jednego zbędnego zdania, a te, które zapełniają strony zapraszają do przemyśleń, otulają melancholią i smakują jak płatki śniegu roztapiające się na języku.

[Basia Cybulska · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bardzo komfortowe i miłe, ale słodko gorzkie odczucia.
Taka książka w morzu innych książek zginie i w mojej głowie nie zostanie na dłużej niż do końca roku, ale jest moja definicja przyjemnej lektury.
Wywołuje mało uczuć, mimo tak emocjonującego tematu i jest ulotna jak krótka melodia…

[Polianna (moze_booka) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Od początku miałam wrażenie że brakuje mi części historii. Wszystko przez przeskakiwanie z różnych osób i wydarzeń. Narrator skacze z tematu na temat, nie kończąc. Nie wiadomo o co i o kogo chodzi. Przez to trudno się wczuć w historię, poczuć ją. I na zakończenie o czym w ogóle miała być ta książka? Całość jest bardzo płytka, powierzchowna, szkoda bo chciałabym wiedzieć więcej.

[Priya · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short novel was one of those where I really enjoyed the writing itself but the story left more to be desired. For me at least. It seemed more like snippets of life than an actual tale.

Narrated by the unnamed piano tuner, it seems like it will be about his association with Lin San, an older businessman and his young wife Emily who has recently passed away. Emily ran a piano studio and the instruments were tuned by our narrator.
While Lin San is an important character in the story, it is the piano tuner himself it focuses on. His childhood dreams as a musical prodigy, the teacher who encouraged him, the circumstances that affected his plans and how he came to be where he is now.

The most enjoyable part of the story was the references to music, the piano, several legendary players in history and the description of the world of pianists and their relationship with their instruments and the tuners who keep these in shape. These kept me wanting to read on even as I wondered where the story was going at times as it does not have any clear sequencing and shifts between timelines and topics frequently.

I can best describe it as vignettes of the piano tuner's thoughts and experiences folded into a framework of wonderful words. My first read by an author from Taiwan, this was nevertheless interesting enough to make me want more. I think it's my preference for a more neatly tied up story that's not quite so open ended that is the reason this didn't fully work for me. It did have a lot of positives though.

Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC in return for a totally honest review.

[martyna • podkreslenia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Podczas czytania kolejnych zdań jedynym co czułam było zupełne zobojętnienie, zarówno samą historią, jak i losami uwikłanych w niej postaci. W spokojnym nastroju książek odnajduję się z przyjemnością, jednak nie tym razem.

Zabrakło zaangażowania w to wszystko, czego winą było pokawałkowanie historii, niespieszność i jednoczesne pędzenie przez wszelkie przeżycia i przemyślenia. Książka do zapomnienia.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Taiwanese author Chiang-Sheng Kuo’s The Piano Tuner is a short, non-linear novel narrated from the point of view of a 40-year-old tuner with many secrets. Once a child piano prodigy, he meets Lin, the widower of much younger Emily, a music school owner who has died of cancer after their short marriage, leaving behind her business and her beloved, but now neglected, pianos formerly maintained by the unnamed narrator.
As both men grieve their losses, they are drawn into a temporary association as a result of Emily’s death. As Lin tries to bring meaning to his life by salvaging what he can of his wife’s school and instruments, he sees the tuner as one means of keeping Emily alive.

Throughout the book, Kuo introduces prominent musicians, often focusing on their own artistic and personal choices. Although brief, this is a multi-layered, somewhat complex, but emotional and worthwhile read.

Thanks to Netgalley and Skyhorse Publishing for an advance reader copy.

[Marta · Rating 3 out of 5]

pewnie szybko o niej zapomnę, ale słuchanie jej to było przeżycie! nostalgia, melancholia, nadzieja... czułam się jakbym słuchała dobrego przyjaciela opowiadającego swoją historię.

[Star Gater · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for accepting my request to read and review The Piano Tuner.

Published: 02/14/23

Right away I want to say, there is no liking or disliking this story. I see a story, not a book

Firstly, the author is from Taiwan or at least he received a lot of awards from there. It has been my experience, there are separations in translations of language, cultures, socioeconomic classes, and familial traditions. I will never understand why an adult child will assume responsibility for their parent just because it is expected. Likewise, I had a hard time with a father who wouldn't ponder his son had a gift, or even a talent that was not traditional.

Secondly, the piano tuner is written I'm assuming like an out of tune piano. The story skips all around. As an English-speaking only woman, I am reminded of those with dual plus language speaking skills and how hard they try to make their point.

I approached this book as if I were chatting with a stranger over coffee with no place to go. I wouldn't interrupt, I wouldn't keep saying I only speak English -- keep going you are doing great. I would listen and try to imagine loving tenderly pianos, realizing he plays on more tuning than if he were to perform. There is so much I didn't understand about his personal life. Thus, I think this is less about pianos and more about life.

The narration was good.

I did catch, if you want a piano look for a moving sale, they are cheap. People don't love them as much when they move. (I'm still tickled.)

Personally, I want a physical copy. I think this is a smart person book, giftable to anyone understanding Asian culture.

[magic_bookshop · Rating 5 out of 5]

maybe 4,15⭐️
something touched me in this story

/2025/ jejkuu 5✨

„Ćwierć wieku pózniej pewniej nastolatek zdołał znów usiąść przed steinwayem i usłyszeć szepczące pod jego koniuszkami palców klawisze. Ten chłopak sprzed dwudziestu pięciu lat mignął, pojawił się na chwilę w odbiciu na lakierowanym mahoniu i rozpłynął się w powietrzu wraz z ostatnią nutą. […]
Odetchnąłem głęboko, jakbym obudził się ze snu.”