Negative is the New Positive: How Positivity Obsession is Damaging Our Mental Health and How Negative Emotions Help Us Become Whole

by Avinash Sai

Society is obsessed with positivity. It is often presented as the ultimate solution to our complex mental struggles. Feeling sad? Just think positively. Feeling hopeless? Be grateful—at least you’re alive. Lost your job? Everything happens for a reason. At first glance, this advice seems harmless. But in reality, it often forces us to suppress our true feelings, thoughts, and emotions under the guise of positive thinking. The result? We become more anxious, stressed, and depressed. In striving for an idealized state, we stop being true to our authentic selves.

To become whole again and find meaning in our lives, we must embrace our negative thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Negative emotions can bring us closer to understanding who we are. Sometimes, we even need to deliberately think negatively to see reality as it truly is.

In this book, you will
• How the obsession with positivity can harm our mental health
• Why meaning is more important than happiness
• How regrets, mistakes, sadness, and longings can foster deeper connections with others
• Why accepting unavoidable realities, like death, grounds us and inspires us to act with urgency
• How trauma disrupts emotional regulation and ways to restore it
• Why embracing your unique self is more fulfilling than conforming to societal expectations

101 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 4, 2025

About the author

Avinash Sai is a writer and book reviewer who launched his Bookstagram account, @bookloafer, six years ago. Since then, he has amassed over 165,000 followers. He published his debut romance novel in 2021, followed by a short story collection in 2023—both of which received critical acclaim. In his free time, Avinash enjoys watching movies and studying paintings. His mission is to inspire people to read quality books and cultivate lifelong reading habits.

Reviews

[Karan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Negative is the New Positive : How positivity obsession is damaging our Mental Health and how Negative Emotions make us Whole by Avinash Sai is a thought provoking critique of the self-help industry and its negative impact on the psychology of people in the present age.
The author is an avid reader of books on human psychology and has compiled the knowledge of hundreds of books that he’s read and his own thoughts into this short but very useful book.
In the beginning he has enumerated the effects of positivity obsession on the mind and the increasingly powerful urge for people to suppress their negative emotions.
Then he explains how negative emotions are also necessary to have fulfilling life experiences and help us grow in life.
In the end the author has given vital advice on how to deal with emotions instead of just doing away with them which I felt is very helpful to everyone.
An interesting book that also makes you question the concept behind positive reinforcement

[Myinstabookblog · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the primary reasons we have emotions in the first place is to help us evaluate our experiences.”
Negative is the new positive 📖
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In This short book Avinash sai talks about how constantly chasing positivity is harmful for our overall experience. Author discusses how self help industry, gurus, motivational speakers and coaches has build a business out of this “toxic positivity”. “The truth and suffering are inevitable parts of life. There is nothing wrong with feeling happy or good, of course. But the problem arises when we expect to feel happy or positive all the time”- says the author. Chasing positivity all the time can be detrimental to our emotional well being, growth and understanding of things on larger scale. Author advises to focus on cultivating meaning and value in life, contemplate over the impermanence of things, not to suppress our emotions and maintain balance of negative and positive experiences.

The book has the central idea how being positive all the time isn’t good, which I really find relevant with my experience. Seeking pleasure all the time and expecting life to be positive all the time is itself a negative experience. To be human and to grow as one we need negative experiences. Even though hope and faith are essential for us, even in the darkest time we need a glimmer of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. A little optimism in the face of adversity is needed, in those moment excessive despondency can lead us further into the pit. I enjoyed the book it only lacks on the part of novelty.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that feeling when everyone keeps telling you to “just be positive,” even when your world feels like it’s crumbling? Yeah… this book gets it.

This book is one of those rare books that hits you with truth bombs we all secretly know but rarely say out loud. It basically calls out the whole "positivity-only" trend and says, “Hey, it’s okay to not be okay—and more than that, it’s necessary.”

What I loved most? The book doesn’t just complain about toxic positivity. It offers a grounded, rational way to work with your emotions—yes, even the ugly ones.

Avinash also pulls from philosophy and psychology without sounding like a textbook. It’s more like a conversation with that brutally honest friend who calls you out, but with love. The kind of read that makes you pause, underline stuff, and nod to yourself like, “Damn, that’s me.”

If you’re someone who’s ever rolled your eyes at those overly cheerful Instagram quotes, or if you’ve felt like you’re failing just because you can’t stay positive all the time—this book will feel like a hug and a wake-up call, all in one.

Highly recommend it if you're done with the fluff and want something real, raw, and actually useful. It's not about glorifying negativity—it’s about making peace with it. And honestly, that’s way more powerful.

[Bushra · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Negative is the New Positive" is an eye-opening exploration of how society’s obsession with constant positivity can actually hinder our emotional growth. Avinash Sai takes a bold stand against the traditional narrative that only positive thinking leads to success and happiness. Instead, this book encourages readers to embrace their negative emotions, such as sadness, regret, and frustration, as opportunities for growth, self-awareness, and stronger connections with others.

The book’s key themes are incredibly thought-provoking. Sai argues that positivity obsession often suppresses our true feelings, leaving us disconnected from ourselves and others. The idea that “meaning > happiness” really stood out to me; it’s a powerful reminder that life's challenges—rather than being avoided—are what can ultimately lead us to deeper fulfillment.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pressure to constantly stay positive, or if you’ve struggled with accepting your negative emotions, this book offers a refreshing and insightful perspective. It’s not about promoting negativity, but about finding balance and allowing our full range of emotions to guide us toward a more meaningful life.

Highly recommended for anyone seeking a more honest, balanced approach to life and happiness.

[Booklyreads (suruchi) · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨This book exposes how our obsession with staying positive is actually harming our mental health.

✨Instead of teaching you how to “fake it till you make it,” “Negative is the New Positive” shows how embracing pain, discomfort, and vulnerability leads to true healing and self-awareness.

✨It doesn’t sell you false motivation, it gives you permission to be human. It’s honest, relatable, and cuts through the noise of Instagram-style positivity.

✨This book understands the emotional exhaustion people have been carrying in silence. It will make you realise that constantly chasing happiness and ignoring your low days isn’t strength, it is suppression. And the more you push the negativity away, the more lost you will feel inside.

✨If you’re burnt out, tired of pretending, or stuck in a spiral of self-help overload, this book will help you break through it and create a space to be your authentic self.

[Jeevan Raj · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Negative is the New Positive' :- First of all, a hearty congratulations to Mr.Sai Avinash Garu😊💐, the author of 'Negative is the New Positive'
I think this is the best book to understand what is the reality that we are hiding in the name of positivity and may not be able to express our emotions properly.
In this book, the author clearly explains how negative thoughts can help in real life and he gives some amazing examples.
Thinking positively all the time is not a healthy way to lead our livelihood more comfortably, it can lead to some disappointments and regrets. Basically thinking negatively is a way of creating multi-solution methods for a single task, which leads us to be more productive and effective. I especially like the 9th chapter in this book.

[Books With Aartika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This thought-provoking book challenges society's obsession with positivity, revealing how it often suppresses our true emotions and worsens mental health.
Instead of chasing happiness, the author argues that meaning, acceptance, and even negative emotions are essential for personal growth.
Through deep insights, the book explores how regret, sadness, and trauma shape our identities, strengthen relationships, and inspire action.
It encourages embracing life's complexities
rather than forcing artificial optimism.

✅ A compelling read for anyone tired of toxic
positivity, this book offers a refreshing perspective on emotional well-being and self-acceptance.

[Shashank Sehgal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Understanding that all emotions play an equal and important part in our lives is the main crux of this book. We can't avoid certain emotions and expect to feel happiness all the time. This makes us vulnerable when things don't go our way, we feel frustrated and dissatisfied but life is not making things happen a certain way we want there are a lot of factors involved that are not in our control. To be truly happy and satisfied one must work towards his/her higher purpose. I seriously recommend you to read this book.

[Arjun Jadhav · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Negativity is the new positive' by Sai Avinash it's an interesting read it talks about toxic positivity and how negative emotions are helpful. And I highly recommend this one to everyone. Congratulations Mr.Avinash Sai.

[Anisha G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a great book to start thinking about the importance of introspecting negative thoughts, emotions, experiences instead of brushing them off.

Sections on negative emotions, trauma and pessimism were particularly interesting.

It's a short book so it touches the surface. It is great for people who haven't explored negative emotions much and good for people who have, as a refresher/manual.

It has actionable insights with questions to ask yourself to get a better understanding and actually work on negative thinking. Short, simple, effective.

While the cause is pushed a little too strongly for my taste, the book has proven to be useful.