The Parts of Him I Kept: The Gifts of My Father's Madness

by Natasha Williams

One cold night in April, Natasha’s father drove his car into the frigid water of New York Bay with her two-year-old half-sister in the backseat. She was the one to walk him past the column of hungry reporters demanding an explanation.

The headline in The Daily News Back from a Watery Grave. But Natasha’s experiences growing up with her schizophrenic father in the gritty New York City of the 1970s are not so easily captured in a single headline. How could she possibly convey the power of her father’s love in the face of this tragedy?

The Parts of Him I Kept is an intimate account of coming of age in the face of a father’s schizophrenic unraveling. In the tradition of Michael Greenberg’s Hurry Down Sunshine and Robert Kolker’s Hidden Valley Road, Williams explores the limits of our understanding of schizophrenia and chronicles the burden and privilege of caring for a mentally ill family member.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

299 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 29, 2025

Reviews

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of, The Parts of Him I Kept, by Natasha Williams, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Natasha's dad has schizophrenia. It has not been easy for Natasha, but she always felt loved. This was a n interesting read.

[Kate O'Shea · Rating 4 out of 5]

An extremely interesting and engaging memoir written by Natasha Williams about her father, Frank, who had schizophrenia.

The memoir covers Williams whole time with her father and does not shy away from the more challenging of his behaviours including taking her to see The Exorcist when she was 8 then trying to get her exorcised, the bizarre behaviour with other women and his inability to care for the several children he fathered. Williams mother does not escape unscathed either being a woman who seemed uncaring at times and unable to put her daughter's needs first.

However, all that said, the bond between Natasha and her father is very clear and even though her ability to keep boundaries intact grew as she got older there is never any suggestion that she ever stopped caring deeply for him or he for her. Despite all the challenges Natasha remained the best and most loyal advocate for her father until hos death.

This is, at times, a difficult read as Natasha is growing up almost having to parent herself but it is also extremely moving and gives you some idea of how difficult it is to live with schizophrenia - both for the sufferer and the wider family.

Highly recommended.

Thankyou to Netgalley and Apprentice House for the advance review copy.

[Charlotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natasha Williams has a passion for humanizing her mentally ill father. In The Parts of Him I Kept, she sees through the diagnosis to the essence of the man, who is complicated and talented and funny and flawed, not unlike all of us. Williams doesn't shy away from how painful it is to care for a loved one who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, and yet she never loses sight of the tenacity of her father's love.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: The Parts of Him I Kept: The Gifts of My Father’s Madness by Natasha Williams

Natasha Williams’ The Parts of Him I Kept is a searingly honest and exquisitely crafted memoir that explores the complex legacy of parental mental illness through the lens of grief, memory, and unexpected inheritance. Blending lyrical prose with psychological insight, Williams examines how her father’s bipolar disorder shaped her childhood, her understanding of love, and ultimately her own identity. The result is a work that transcends the personal to speak to universal questions about family, trauma, and the fragments we choose to carry forward.

Williams’ narrative voice is the book’s greatest strength—simultaneously tender and unflinching, poetic yet precise. She avoids simplistic victim narratives, instead presenting her father as a multidimensional figure whose brilliance and torment were inextricable. Chapters alternate between vivid childhood vignettes (like watching her father meticulously build model ships during manic episodes) and adult reflections on how these experiences informed her emotional landscape. The metaphor of “keeping” certain parts—his creativity, his humor—while releasing others demonstrates Williams’ nuanced approach to intergenerational trauma.

Structurally, the memoir employs a non-linear format that mirrors the process of memory itself. While this creates a powerful emotional resonance, some readers may find certain transitions abrupt. The most compelling sections explore Williams’ dawning realization that her father’s “madness” gifted her with heightened empathy and artistic sensitivity—a perspective rarely presented in narratives of parental mental illness. However, the book occasionally shies away from deeper analysis of systemic failures in mental healthcare, which could have strengthened its social critique.

Rating: 4.6/5

Section Scoring Breakdown:
-Emotional Depth: 5/5 – Profoundly moving without resorting to sentimentality
-Narrative Craft: 4.5/5 – Beautiful prose with occasional pacing issues
-Psychological Insight: 4.5/5 – Nuanced exploration of mental illness’s legacy
-Originality: 5/5 – Fresh perspective on a familiar theme
-Structural Cohesion: 4/5 – Effective non-linear approach with minor disorientation

Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Natasha Williams, for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Charlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.'' - Alfred Adler

I think this quote sums up this book. It covers the lifetime of the daughter of someone struggling with mental illness and trying to understand. The depth at which she writes her experiences and tries to include others sides was wonderful. I really appreciated her approach and dedication to showing they are more than their illness.

There are heavy themes and subjects covered in this book. It covers these topics with grace. At times, it felt a bit long, and the bouncing around time frames didn't always feel flow. However, I think it is an excellent book and definitely shows bravery to write it.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an interesting book. It tells of the love, conflict and confusion of living with someone with a severe mental illness. I really enjoyed reading it and it is one of those books that will stay with me.

[Kenneth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not much of a memoir reader, however, this book was fantastic. Its a gripping and moving story full of love, desperation, hope and triumph.

[Faithe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Parts of him I kept by Natasha Williams is one family's story of exploring their understanding of schizophrenia, while documenting caring for their mentally ill family member.

Her father was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia on the day of his college graduation. One night in April, Natasha's father drove his car into New York Bay with his 2 1/2 year old sister in the back seat. It made headline news, but growing up with a Schizophrenic father in New York in the 1970s was complicated.

Natasha writes about her own coming if age story that coincides with her father's schizophrenic undoing. She navigates though societies view of schizophrenia and the medical aspects of it. She writes about how it is both a burden and a privilege to care for a mentally ill family member.

Thank you Natasha for telling your story and for working with NetGalley. I received an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion and review.

This amazing book debuts in stores April 29 2025

[Angelica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I requested this book as an ARC because I found both the title and the description of the book relatable. Like Natasha, I was born to a mother that didn't seem to care or love me as she should and a father who made me his entire world and loved me with every fiber of his being, but struggled with his own ailments. Natasha's father has schizophrenia, which is a condition I knew very little about and found it interesting to read about. I learned that a large percentage of people diagnosed with schizophrenia think they are talking to god. As someone who is atheist, I would love to make the joke that religious people are crazy with my dad and he would find this fact amusing as well. Unfortunately, I cannot do that so I'll share it here instead.

The only thing I didn't like about this book was how it was written. I think it could've been written in a more immersive, personal manner to suck the reader in rather than the matter-of-fact textbook-like work that it does. That being said, it's also possible that the author wrote it this way because for her, her life is matter-of-fact and hard to add emotion to something that she's grown accustom to. But if I didn't have such a strong personal connection to the content of the book, I may have stopped reading. But because I do, I highlighted so many quotes that are relatable to me and found myself sobbing as I finished it because I have never related to something so much before.

Like Natasha, I walked the line of being there for my dad who struggled to take care of himself, who blurred the line of who the parent and child really was, while also attempting to maintain a life for myself that was healthier than the childhood I was raised in. My dad had his issues, but despite them, he never made me question his love for me and I truly think someone who struggles so hard themselves but can love another so fiercely is the very definition of love. Also like Natasha, my upbringing has lead me to unhealthy complexities caused by trauma.

Like Natasha, I have had to be the caretaker, the protector, the advocate, the friend, and more and although it was frustrating and stressful and more than what should be typically asked of a child, in a lot of ways it made me appreciate him and the bond that we shared. In the book Natasha says, "I can't shake the implication that I am his significant other, a role I'm both attached to and have resented" and that is so relatable to me.

My favorite quote of all, comes at the end, when Natasha and her father are having a conversation and she asks him, "What kind of an animal would you be, Dad" And he says, "I'd be an elephant." Natasha asks him why an elephant and he says, "Because they protect their young and they remember." This quote captures the love between both Natasha and her father's relationship as well as mine with my dad and this is a really beautiful, deep book that has helped me realize even more than before that the deep loving bond between my dad and I was a gift that I can keep even though he's gone.

[BK Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natasha William’s The Parts of Him I Kept is a haunting memoir about the unbreakable bond of love between a daughter and a father who lives with paranoid schizophrenia and a messiah complex. Equally, it illustrates society’s inability to reckon with the complexities of care for vulnerable individuals with mental illness and its failure to meet their basic needs and support their families.

The memoir is, by turns, a tender and harrowing coming of age story of growing up in New York City in the 1970s with an unpredictable and unstable yet loving father and a largely dysfunctional and emotionally absent mother. Through the eyes of a neglected and unnurtured child, we see a family as fragile as a house of cards, overwhelmed by trauma and at any given moment teetering on the edge of tragedy and heartbreak. Though her own needs for care are unmet, Williams summons the resilience to bear the burden of care for the father she adores.

The author’s debut book stands beside other extraordinary memoirs about the treasures and terrors of living with a parent with schizophrenia, such as Laura M. Flynn’s Swallow the Ocean and Mira Bartok’s The Memory Palace. Like these authors, Williams highlights the duality of the experience—where love and shame, loyalty and guilt, burden and privilege, and calm and chaos live side by side. There’s the desire to escape always in tension with the pull to stay.

It’s an extraordinary, beautifully written memoir that bears witness to the redemptive power of love and the tenderness that can live within the most fraught relationships—deeply moving testament to how much a person can bear, how far the heart can stretch without breaking.

[Jeremy Booty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Frank, whose story this is, was a brilliant musician with a larger than life personality, a thinker, a charmer with the soul of an artist, a loving father.. He was also a very ill man whose illness, schizophrenia , caused him to live a life of poverty, chaos and degradation . He was unable to lead even the most rudimentary life. He coupled with a number of women, the first, Judith, was the author's mother.

Judith was a child of the 60's, choosing to live an unconventional life the course of which was dictated by her own perceived needs and agenda. Williams sometimes refers to her as "independent ". A more accurate term would have been narcissistic . She was largely indifferent to the needs of her children. She chose idiosyncratic pursuits and a violent mentally ill partner. As a result, the author lived an almost feral existence, exposed to drugs, violence and a variety of shady characters while shuttling between her parents. Williams writes well and draws the reader into her own odyssey from all of this into learning, love and family life. She however never separated herself from her father and her needs in order to do so.

This is a compelling story and well worth reading. However, the reader is bounced around chronologically and by theme which causes some loss of momentum in the story.

[Bethany Yeiser · Rating 5 out of 5]

In The Parts of Him I Kept, Natasha opens a window into the personal experience of schizophrenia, as experienced by her father, as well as the burden that fell on his family members. Natasha portrays the human perspective of her father, often considering whether choices he made were stemming from schizophrenia, or were from the fundamental part of who he was as a person. I have never before seen an account of a person living with schizophrenia from their first episode and over many decades, through the end of their life.

Natasha skillfully takes the reader through his relationships with various women, including women with schizophrenia, and his unfaltering commitment to her and to his other children over many years. She describes episodes of discontinuing medication, resulting in relapse, as well as times of health and joy. The book contains interesting and captivating stories about her father's day-to-day life, as well as Natasha's journey through adulthood and into her own marriage and children.

This book is remarkably well written. In addition to learning about schizophrenia, I also found her writing about life growing up in the US over many years through the present to be enticing to the reader and illuminating.

[WeLoveBigBooksAndWeCannotLie · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever been touched by a friend or family member with mental illness, or perhaps struggle yourself, this memoir may give you some insight.🩵
I was very moved by Natasha Williams’ new book, The Parts of Him I Kept: The Gifts of My Father’s Madness. Natasha’s chaotic childhood was so extreme that I’m amazed and impressed by her ability to write such an insightful memoir.
My heart broke for an unprotected child that tried to navigate the world with a schizophrenic father and an emotionally immature mother. Nobody was able to put her first, they could barely function as adults on their own. Her own father drove his car into the freezing water with her 2-year-old sister, he saved himself but was unable to save her.
It’s hard for me to read about children in such abusive situations, but I do have people close to me that struggle with mental illness, and I appreciate that I was able to gain a little understanding into their lives.
This is hard to read at times but very compelling. I highly suggest this memoir if you can read it without being triggered.
Thank you @tandemliterary for this gifted copy.
The Parts of Him I Kept published last month and is available on our Amazon storefront!🧜🏼‍♀️🌺
.

[kylie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up to 4 ⭐️

An authentic window into a woman's experience living in the looming shadow of a schizophrenic father and a neglectful mother. By all accounts, she was a feral child. From a young age, when faced with decisions about her wellbeing Tasha's mother left them up to her - 5 or 15, she was the decider of her life. T's father, who she often describes like a powerful slumbering lion in his den, her protector, is unfortunately plagued with severe mental illness, one that prevents him from fully experiencing reality and often leaves him vulnerable. Throughout her childhood, she is groomed to be his caregiver.

This was truly captivating, sometimes painful and often enlightening on life with mental illness. This story comes with so many victims, but ultimately it's a tale of adaptability and growth, familial expectations, what we owe each other and ourselves.

I think the writing is beautiful, but it could use some additional editing to tighten it up. It's often a bit fragmented with jumps back in time or wiggly timelines that don't seem entirely linear. Overall though, the content is powerful and I would recommend it.

**I received my copy from Netgalley.

[Charlotte Adamis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Writing about mental illness with both compassion and raw honesty is no easy feat, especially when it has shaped your life so dramatically. And yet author Natasha Williams has managed to accomplish this with her story, and she has done so as only a gifted writer can. Her prose is heartbreaking and gorgeous: "My father was the warmth I craved. Like a lion, he slept in his sun-drenched bed in wait for the adventures his mania promised." She also takes a step back at times from the personal to share with readers some of the current research on mental illness. This book is a must-read for anyone touched by a loved one with mental illness--and I imagine that includes most of us. And even if the challenges presented by mental illness have not touched your life, this book will open up a necessary window of understanding, one that is very much needed in today's world.

[Anggi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and Natasha Williams for providing me with a free digital review copy of this wonderful memoir!

I requested to review it because I also have a personal experience with loved ones who struggle with psychosis.

This memoir told a story about Natasha’s experience growing up with a father who had Schizophrenia and how it impacted her life. I found myself rooting for her while I was reading the book. As I could really relate to her struggle with balancing caring for her mentally ill father with also trying to live her own life.

Her writing is really honest, moving, and heartfelt. I highly recommend it!

[Jeni Enjaian]

This was a difficult memoir to get through. The author had a difficult and traumatic childhood because of the schizophrenia of her father, the likely undiagnosed mental illness of her mother, the abuse from and instability of her stepfather and other things that I cannot remember specifically. I learned a lot from her story but would not necessarily recommend her memoir. I think the times when the narrative skips around chronologically - it proceeds in a general chronological manner but not a strict one - impedes the reader's experience. Overall though, this memoir presents much for the reader to learn.

[Darcy Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natasha Williams’ memoir, "The Parts of Him I Kept", opens us to the wounding beauty of her father’s schizophrenia. Frank is a man who hopes "to get into the Sun". Williams and her father forge a life filled with excessive generosity, music, and steadfast devotion. Read this lyrically rich memoir if you know someone whose family is impacted by mental illness. Read this if your family is fractured. Read this and remember that, despite a mother’s distancing and a father’s bouts of mania, anything is possible, most notably love.

[Suzanne Leopold (Suzy Approved Book Reviews) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful memoir about a daughter’s love for her father who struggles with schizophrenia. The author provides tremendous insight into her life dealing with the complexity and burden of the disease. She decribes the consequences of both her father and her mother’s actions resulting in a chaotic childhood. This is a book for anyone who has been touched by a friend or family with a mental illness. Today, the understanding , stigma , and how we treat mental illness has changed for the better.

[Stefani Wallace · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Parts of Him I Kept
by Natasha Williams
⭐️⭐️⭐️

We can learn life lessons in all of our circumstances. Natasha openly shares her experiences, living with a mentally ill father and navigating her life with very little guidance or support.

What I liked: The frankness with which Natasha writes. She unabashedly shares the truths of her upbringing and how this affected her later in life. I appreciated her candidness.

What I Didn't Like: To me, her story was like a stream of consciousness style, and it took me a while to make sense of some of the points she was trying to make.

[Hayley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a deeply raw and honest introspection into the author’s life with her family. I appreciated how open and vulnerable she was, sharing her experiences without holding back the emotion or truth of her situation. The narrative unfolds in vignette-style glimpses, offering intimate windows into her world. I truly enjoyed hearing her story and am grateful she chose to share it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Apprentice House Press of Loyola University Maryland for providing a copy. This book is available now!

[Tina Barry · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are surprises in Natasha Williams’ stunning The Parts of Him I Kept. I was at once seduced by her schizophrenic father’s charm, much as the narrator was, and then unease settled in as her father's actions, and the women who enabled them were revealed. Most startling was Williams’ capacity for deep love and her generosity toward her deeply damaged parents. Lean, elegant and searing, Williams’ memoir is a must read.

[Laura Shaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natasha Williams debut memoir is a harrowing account of her life with a schizophrenic father. What’s unique is her total absence of bitterness or self-pity. She somehow salvages love for a father many would disown. She writes very well and the book is hard to put down as she reveals the details. It’s also a sharp- eyed portrait of growing up in hippie neighborhoods, minus the usual house rules. How she survived is miraculous.

[Meg Kissinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. What a tender and poignant book about a daughter’s love for her father, challenged by his schizophrenia. Natasha writes with equal measures of skill and empathy, helping readers really feel what it was like for her growing up. Anyone who knows someone with serious mental illness should read this book. Come to think of it, anyone who doesn’t know someone with serious mental illness should read it, too! You’ll learn what it means to look past labels and into another person’s soul.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a well-written book about one woman and her father’s journey with schizophrenia. I thought she did a nice job with the research of it all At some points she does repeat herself literallly from one page to the next one. Also the pacing was kind of slow abs it wasn’t the most exciting book to read. It was still well-written and I feel horrible for what she had to endure growing up.

[Eva Sievert · Rating 5 out of 5]

How do we love our imperfect parents?

Natasha Williams's answer is profound. For all his flaws, her father makes her feel seen and special. Even so, there's not a lot of safety in her childhood.

This book brought all the grit of my own 1970's childhood vividly back to life. The need to feel loved and protected by adults when those adults are pursuing freedom, artistic endeavors or envision themselves as the Messiah.

[Kelly H · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

Really great and new perspective about schizophrenia. written very well and easy to read. No medical jargon just a daughter and then caregiver's view.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Jipala Reicher-Kagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful memoir exploring the challenges of growing up with mental illness. Natasha Williams sheds light on the gifts gleaned from craziness and the complicated plight of human frailty. A book you can not put down, once you read the first chapter.

[GemsEpicReadingJourney · Rating 3 out of 5]

A true account of what life is like with poor mental health and the effects it has on those around/caring for those struggling.

[The Imaginary Librarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a Psych RN, I was initially drawn to Natasha Williams' "The Parts of Him I Kept" due to her firsthand experience with her father's schizophrenia. The book offers raw and vulnerable moments as Williams unpacks the complexities of their relationship and her father's mental health struggles.

However, I found the narrative to be disjointed at times, with frequent jumps in the timeline that made it challenging to follow the story. Additionally, the focus on her father's mental illness seemed to overshadow the clear presence of her mother's narcissistic personality. A more balanced exploration of both parents' mental health could have created a richer portrayal of the family dynamic.

Furthermore, it was unclear whether the book was meant to be autobiographical or a deep dive into her father's life. Clarifying the perspective might have strengthened the narrative and provided a more cohesive reading experience.

Despite these shortcomings, "The Parts of Him I Kept" is a personal and honest account of a family impacted by mental illness. As a mental health professional, I appreciate Williams' willingness to share her story and provide insights into the challenges and triumphs of navigating these difficult circumstances.