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207 pages, Paperback
First published December 20, 2024
He couldn’t help the chatter. Once he got going he found it hard to stop. He had a backlog of words to share, of thoughts and feelings, and suddenly a person to give them to.
“You make me happy.” Kassel paused. Examining why it felt like he’d just been smote by the holy man himself. They were just words. A confirmation that he was performing his summoning well. But they felt more like a gift, delicate and fragile, placed in his massive hands to keep safe. Kassel wanted to cradle Beau’s happiness. To protect it fiercely.
“It’s a competition and a title. You know, for beauty and grace and… oiled-up muscles. Not that I pay that much attention, I’ve just seen it in passing, of course. I definitely don’t have any copies of the magazines anywhere around the house, so don’t even look! Or on my search history…”
“I’m sorry,” Beau called back. “I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!” “I thought you were trying to get into Hell?” Kassel asked. “Oh,” Beau said. “I mean, get wrecked, grandpa! I hope your turkey burns!” He looked to Kassel for evil approval. “Diabolical.”
“You’re not invisible, Beau. Humanity is blind.”
Nobody had ever said anything like that to him before. Nobody had ever made him feel like he was worth the air he was breathing and the space he was taking up on this planet. He always felt like he was intruding, stealing from someone more worthy of it all. Kassel made it seem like it was all meant to be his. Like he deserved it.
“Don’t forget me,” he pleaded against his lips. “At least for as long as I live. Can you give me that?” “Beau,” Kassel said, his voice strangely shaky. “It’s not long by your standards,” Beau said, breathing him in. “I just want to live knowing somewhere out there, you’re thinking of me sometimes. And then when I’m gone…” “I won’t forget,” Kassel said, gripping his face with both of his hands now. “For as long as I live… I won’t forget.”
I was here. I exist. I have meaning to someone. - Beau


Tonight, a gift. Tomorrow, company to the grocery store. Beau smiled at the thought and found himself anxious for the sun to come up.
“You’re so precious and good,” Peter got out around his sobs.
“Do they actually hatch from eggs?” Beau bounced a little on the balls of his feet. “Like baby ducks?”
“Sure.” Kassel tried to remember what ducks were exactly. Birds of some sort, he was pretty sure. But the specifics were hazy.
“You needed something deeper,” Oren said. “A real emotional bond before you started wanting someone for real.”