Ace of Hearts: Lessons in Love from an Asexual Girl

by Cooklin

Genres: Graphic Novels, Nonfiction, LGBT, Memoir, Comics, Adult, Biography Memoir

272 pages, Paperback

Published January 6, 2026

Reviews

[emmareadsya · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick read that was really resonated with me and a lot of my experiences growing up asexual. As with all ace media, I wish I had had this growing up, I could’ve skipped a lot of stuff. Particularly I appreciated the author showing her experience not fitting in with the church’s idea of sexuality, but also not the very sex-positive artsy college scene. I’ve felt both these things and I don’t think I’ve seen it portrayed like this before! I wish it had gone a little deeper into some things (particularly her current, clearly more positive relationship) but overall it was a nice graphic memoir.

[Christi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This coming age graphic novel memoir of an asexual girl is full of heart and hope. Love is for everybody.

Thank you Edelweiss for the digital review copy.

[miki larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for sharing your story! so many aspects of this was so relatable to me, and this will definitely help others feel less alone and find more understanding in themselves!

[Dave Cusick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite being neither asexual nor a girl, I found lots to relate to.

[Jesse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Makes me feel so seen. I cried.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

…I do feel a bit like someone read my autobiography from my head

[B. Zelkovich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I expected this book to resonate and it did. I'm glad this book exists.

[Villain E · Rating 4 out of 5]

What the fuck, y'all? This is not the cozy, uplifting, inspirational book promised by the subtitle, the summary on the back, the blurbs on the cover, or any of the top reviews on Goodreads. The author experiences trauma, abuse, depression, anxiety, engages in self-doubt and self-destructive behavior before we get to the revelatory pages at the end. To be clear, I am not knocking the quality of the book, I'm knocking the quality of promotional material.

On some level Caitlin Cook knew she was asexual as a teenager, but society doesn't discuss it as an option. She throws herself into Church life in order to feel like a part of the group. She starts dating a boy and she lets him get physical even though she doesn't want to. In college, she throws herself into relationships and brief encounters trying ignite her desire but really doing a number on herself psychologically. Eventually, she figures herself out and is fortunately in a relationship with a guy who understands.

The art is interesting. It's relatively simple (or simplified) and the figures are pasted over the background with a heavy silhouette, kind of like an animated movie.

[Grace Stafford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing story of coming-of-age as an asexual person that I hope will help other folks in their journey.

[Josie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir resonated with me so much, I related to it in more ways than I was expecting! The author's artistic portrayal of the fear one feels regarding letting a partner down in sexual situations felt very personal and powerful! I felt the main character's pain of feeling that something was wrong with them when, in reality, they just hadn't discovered the word for their feelings yet! This was a testament to me that mention of asexuality needs to be a priority in sex education classes to prevent feelings of brokenness and unworthiness experienced by asexual people who live in such a sexualized world.

The only thing I felt was missing was elaboration on the time period when the author was questioning if they were bisexual. I understand that this is a memoir about asexuality, but as someone who has also questioned bisexuality, I would have liked to see parts of the questioning process rather than simply being told about it once or twice.

[Lydia Prime · Rating 1 out of 5]

Someone close to me recommended this to help me understand them a little more (and potentially myself). Unfortunately, this book is ... in my opinion... more dangerous than a helpful book for those in the ace spectrum. It discourages therapy and suggests that after years of sexual trauma/abuse/unpacked religious upbringing/bizarre therapist interactions.. the MC labels herself ace after deciding she'd handled her past trauma enough... while clearly not at all having dealt with it. Apologies, this wasn't my cup of tea, I feel for the author and her pain, but I do hope she eventually got some help.
*not suggesting she isn't ace, merely suggesting this book skews that because of the particulars involved.

[Lizzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful story of accepting one’s self and true identity. It was refreshing to see someone struggle not just with their Christian upbringing but also trying to fit in more sex positive, liberal spaces. How hard it is to find acceptance as a romantic asexual individual. The author went through so much trauma (although unclear if she perceives it as such) and I think it was so strong of her to share her experiences and show that YES asexuals face real challenges and struggles, but that it’s just very different than other members of the LGBTQ+ community face. It was also an important look at micro aggressions and how unnuanced sex positivity can backfire.

[Nikki T · Rating 4 out of 5]

More like 3.5 tbh.
My rating isn't for the story itself - as it would be impossible to rate someone else's life experience imo - but is more reflective of the layout/execution of the story. I was so freaking confused. I found it hard to follow especially nearing the end. SO MUCH BLACK HAIR. *who is who?? Sob*
With that aside, I am SO FKING HAPPY that it ended (continues on irl) so absolutely beautifully. I couldn't ask for more for the author as a random reader.
It takes a lot of chutzpah to put this story out there. I definitely respect that. Love that more ace books are coming out (pun intended lol) to educate people. Props.

[Sirah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Watch as a girl goes from a pre-teen trying to develop her first crush to an adult realizing that a lot of what we've been told about sex is based on an allosexual perspective and can be deeply damaging no matter how sexual or asexual one is.

This might be my favorite asexual memoir so far. It's very much written by an asexual person for asexual people and makes no pains to explain asexuality in layman's terms. If that's what you're looking for, I can recommend some other great novels. But if you've ever been asked, "Are you sure you're not just sex repulsed because of [religion/hormones/trauma/disability/inexperience]?" this book is for you.

[Kelly Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Ace of Hearts. I really enjoy a graphic memoir, there is so much emotion conveyed in the art, it adds exponentially to the message. I think this book is more about trauma and self recognition than it is about being asexual. I think this book will help young people who are in abusive relationships and have no idea that they are being abused sexually. I love that she finds all the love she'd been searching for all her life with a person who really 'sees' her for who she is and values what she has to give and respects what she can't. Bravo!

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm still tearing up and processing this graphic novel. Cooklin shared her experience in discovering her asexuality in a way that was full of heart. Even with some of the heavier topics I couldn't put it down!

Her journey is extremely relatable to me, and there were some words and thoughts that just clicked into place when I read them. Like they had always been there.

I feel like I'm going to read this again and again. I think it would be a good read for anyone - especially if they are considering their own sexuality.

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The bare bones color palette and illustration style hindered my enjoyment of this artistic medium. Beyond that, most of the story was concerned with purity culture/religious trauma, and sexual assault/nonconsensual sexual situations with controlling partners who either cheated or threatened domestic abuse. While the content is tangentially related to asexuality, I feel like the title should have been more indicative of the true nature of the narrative.

Content warning: rape, threats of assault, religious trauma

[Panda Incognito · Rating 2 out of 5]

This graphic novel memoir went into WAY more detail about the author's past sexual encounters than I was prepared for. This is partly my library's fault, because this book mistakenly got cataloged as YA. If I'd gone into this memoir knowing that it was intended for adults, I would have been more prepared for the level of adult content. This was not the experience I thought I was signing up for, but on the bright side, I was able to take one for the team and let the library system know to fix the cataloging problem.

[Tyler Obenauf · Rating 5 out of 5]

2026 Read Harder Challenge selection for a nonfiction comic.

This was a comic about the author’s romantic life culminating in her discovering her asexuality.

The illustrations were wonderfully appealing to me and I really enjoyed how she used her relationships as the storytelling device and how her journey was explored.

4.5 out of 5 stars.

[Fiore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cried my way through this, great times! Doesn't shy away from all the trauma of trying to conform to the little molds society may think people should fit. And the continued harm of between individuals, even from those claiming goodness. And yet, despite it all, people can and will find a place for themselves.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a sweet & beautifully illustrated story, loved the visual metaphors for affection/crushes/love. I appreciated the inclusion & honesty of each relationship & the structure being “what it taught me about love.”

Not only do I think this is a good book to get an asexual person’s perspective on sex, but it’s also a great book on healthy relationships!

Would read again & would recommend!

[Diana Flores · Rating 3 out of 5]

eARC through Edelweiss, publication date Nov 18. 2025

I liked the art style and easy to read text. Right amount of text and graphics per page.

Good memoir of one person's experience being asexual.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

A graphic novel memoir about the author's journey coming of age as an asexual person.
A deeply personal, very moving and honest story. I loved the colour scheme choice too. It makes the artwork stand out.

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really love this graphic novel. The book is about a young woman and her dealings with her feelings of asexuality. The artwork is really cute and the story is told in a very communicative but interesting way.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this. We need more books that tell different people's stories so people can understand that there are so many ways to love and be loved. I loved the graphics too!!

[Ellie Amélie]

Was on display at my local library, so I sat down and read the entire thing :) this was really lovely 💜🩶🤍🖤

[KataraRules · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was really interesting to learn more about asexuality, and I liked the art style

[Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genuinely heart warming. Well executed. Caitlin is a gem of a creator, writer and illustrator.

Perfect for anyone questioning what they were taught.

[Lynne · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[abs · Rating 5 out of 5]

related to a lot of things in this graphic novel. her story made me feel all the things & i just wanna give her a big hug