Busting Nuts

by Alexa Riley

A bite-sized holiday romance that's off-the-wall bonkers, but comes with a happily ever after.

Clara works at an antique shop. Through a series of magical events she finds herself in the presence of a ten foot tall nutcracker who is instantly obsessed with her.

Warning: You read the title. You're either in or out. This is a place that supports women's rights… but most especially women's wrongs.

Genres: Christmas, Holiday, Fantasy, Romance, Novella, Humor, Erotica

Unknown Binding

First published December 1, 2024

About the author

Alexa Riley is two sassy friends who got together and wrote some dirty books. They are both married moms of two who love football, donuts, and obsessed book heroes.

They specialize in insta-love, over-the-top, sweet, and cheesy love stories that don’t take all year to read. If you want something SAFE, short, and always with a happily ever after, then Alexa Riley is for you!

Feel free to follow us each on twitter @smut_sasshole & @SassNSmut

Reviews

[Kellyythoralabatalla · Rating 2 out of 5]

Me reí mucho leyendo esto jajajaja de donde putas se le ocurren estas ideas 😵

[Fanny · Rating 1 out of 5]

He leido cosas raras y tambien historias dudosas pero realmente esta lectura fue otra cosa. Es absurda, pero me diverti leyendo y es breve, por lo que no me arrepiento de haberla leido.

1.5 Estrella!

[valentina · Rating 3 out of 5]

supongo que esta será mi última lectura de este año, qué fkn locura la verdad pero bueno la moraleja es que no dudes en masturbar a un cascanueces porque podrías acabar por arreglar todos los problemas de tu vida ah qué decía

[Анастасія ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Не можу більше поставити, але я посміялась тому 3.

[littleM · Rating 5 out of 5]

[Mar Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

Una historia corta de algo que varias quisiéramos... xD

[guapito.reynolds04 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bueno, hablemos de este libro, Man fue tan raro pero a la vez tan original JAUAJAJAJAJJAJA, o sea yo también quiero un Hans man, me da plata y placer, así que donde consigo uno? AAAAAAAA QUIERO UNO ASÍ. En fin, fue fácil de leer y estuvo corto, pasas un momento entretenido y divertido mientras que lo lees, así que léanlo mi gente y disfruten este romance navideño inusual jsjsj (seguimos en enero, se permite leer libros navideños).

Bais ;D

[Bex · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's December 29, and I've still got a few books to go to reach my reading goal, so I'm tackling any short story I can find.

This one is DEFINITELY a first 😆
How does someone even think of that as a storyline? Lol.

[n · Rating 1 out of 5]

as a bailarina, i think i will never dance The nutcracker the same way again 🆘

[Mysti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nerdy little antique lover gets a giant surprise after finding a nutcracker. Giant cocks and icing flavored jizz for Christmas. It’s cute.

[Francesca Raciti]

Do. Not. Judge.

[emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

no

[Flo₂₂ · Rating 2 out of 5]

well, i read it..didn't i ? :)))))

[Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

s h e l v e s :
alpha
cinammon roll hero
fantasy
funny
instalove
instalust
obsessed
ott
poor heroine
possessive
protective
takes care of her
virgin
wife her up

e n d e a r m e n t s :
♥︎ mine (😂)

k i n k s :
against the wall
hung
floor sex
no condom
tas
💦

🔥
His cock… enormous and pointing right at me. The creamy tip is shiny.

♥︎

Before I can react or do anything, he’s ripped off my shorts and panties and is prying open my legs. I’m pressed against the wall with nowhere to go, and it’s all happening so fast.

“Hans, wait!”

There’s no stopping this horny mammoth nutcracker as his mouth goes to my pussy and he begins to lick. I want to scream for him to stop or kick him off of me, but the second his tongue slides over my clit, all protests leave my body.

♥︎

 Pleasure builds inside of me, and I cum around his tongue as I scream my release.

“More,” Hans says as he tugs on my sweatshirt.

He growls as he rips the front of my sweatshirt open like it’s a piece of tissue paper.

He licks one nipple and then the other as pleasure builds in me again.

When his mouth opens, I see how wide it is, and I watch as he sucks my nipple and then most of my breast into it. He’s so gentle as he sucks, and it sends shocks of pleasure to my clit.

Warm liquid splashes on my bare legs, and I look down to see Hans cumming again. It’s all over me now, and it glistens like there’s a shimmer to it. His cock is pointing at me while it drips cum onto the floor, and he kisses his way up to my neck.

“Inside you,” he says gently as he presses his lips to mine.

His hands go to my hips and he lifts me into the air. I have no choice but to wrap my legs around him, and his cock is wedged between us.

“Inside,” he orders as he lifts me higher so that his cock slides down my belly and to the opening of my pussy.

♥︎

“Only my Clara. Forever,” he says and pushes the tip of his cock into my opening.

“Go slow,” I warn him, but I’m not sure he’s paying attention. His entire body is shaking, and then I feel the rush of his hot release splash against me.

Hans’ cock goes in several inches before he stops and then slowly pulls out. I watch as his thick wooden length throbs and then shoots out more cum. It leaks around where we’re connected and drips onto the floor beneath us. He stands there cumming inside me as he slowly pushes back in, and I moan loudly.

♥︎

His giant heavy walnuts smack together as he thrusts, and it makes me smile. He’s completely serious as he fucks me deeper, and my pussy welcomes him home. It’s my first time with a cock inside me, but it feels incredible. I grind on his length and go limp in his arms while he uses me like a doll.

“Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.” He’s chanting it as he thrusts, and every three pumps or so, he cums. It’s running down my legs in a stream, but I don’t care. He feels too good inside of me, and I never want him to stop.

[MerReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alexa Riley! Give us longer, more fleshed out DV stories! This was too short!

Safe
DUAL VIRGINS!!
No cheating
Unwanted OM (her boss flirts with her and makes her life miserable, she hates it)
No OW
No separation
No gross condom use
No stupid third act break up
All erotica, very quick
HEA

I love DV, so I enjoyed it. It was weird, out there, but I got what I love about romance/erotica, couples who are each other's one and only, so I loved that the heroine claimed her 10 foot, nutcracker vibrator that came to life. Yes, it is bonkers and ridiculous, but I would rather have that than a virgin heroine paired with a dude who has fucked women before her. This was a quickie, but totally my jam with it being first timers. I love it when the story is beyond nuts in terms of the premise, but as long as it is first timers experiencing sex and intimacy together, I AM ALL FOR IT!
I hope Alexa Riley writes more virgin heroes whom are claimed completely by their virgin heroines. GIMME MORE! Just make the stories longer so we can enjoy our couples discovering sex and intimacy with each other!
Happy reading!

[heart · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

Nice typical AR book. Shorter then usual but a good quickie. Really wanted more lore/information and back story to Hans and more answers to the future but I’m pretty sure it’s just smut focused.

Dual virgins
Insta love lust
No ow drama, slight om drama that is never addressed? (She has a creepy boss, I was told that he would be dealt with in the book but he never is)
Shifter/supernatural man turns into nut cracker
Age gap
Smut
Holiday
Hot
Possessive
Caveman like
Short read
Spicy lvl 4/5

[Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short story had me cracking up. I couldn’t stop smiling! It is definitely outside the “normal” romance story but it was a good time. Clara and Hans should be very happy together even if they don’t do a lot of talking. I could use a star that brought me love even if it was unconventional. There wasn’t an epilogue but I’m imagining a happily ever after for them. I recommend reading this book.

[Tameka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok I can't give this a 5 star because really, Really, REALLY!!!!!! The story is too funny, outrageous unheard of to not give it 4 stars though. Nutcracker come to life.

If you can appreciate that a quicky has its time and place and can enjoy a quicky for the fun of it then check this out. Happy reading. 🙋🏽‍♀️

[Maca_DVD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Estuvo raro, siento que la historia salio de la nada, no sé creo que si hubiera tenido más historia me habría gustado más jajajaja
aunque pensandolo bien, Hanz le da un monton de dinero... en que fabrica tengo que pedir el mio, disculpe??

[Georgina Parkin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Now what the FUCK was that 👀 I’ve been into some weird shit admittedly but I was not into that lmao. Also why the fuck was he 10 feet tall lmao. If I took it as comedy, it was hilarious but I don’t think i was meant to be laughing the whole time lmaoooooo

[Megan ~The Never Ending Book Basket · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is unhinged smut in the best way possible. And I couldn’t get enough! Alexa Riley pushes all the boundaries in the best way and it always makes for a memorable read.

[*Books of Stardust* · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was ridiculously good and I freaking loved it. Maybe I should read it again, just for the joy of it 😚

[Lisbeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very short and really ridiculous

[Brenda Jaeger · Rating 1 out of 5]

He leído mucho de Alexa Riley y esto simplemente fue Raro, no me gustó y eso que he leído cosas similares, simplemente no fue para mí.

[Snow · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 - 2.5 stars.

just as silly and ridiculous as i had expected 😅 but not a bad read if you don't ask questions or think too hard lol

[Shannon The Romance Addict! · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, ok. LMAO!!!

[-ˏˋ D ˊˎ- · Rating 2 out of 5]

Warning: You read the title. You’re either in or out. This is a place that supports women’s rights … but most especially women’s wrongs.

[Viv “BookVixen” Gutierrez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok so this happened.

Just very weird smut

Safe

[Shirin Rasheed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique, page turning read.

[Paola ☆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 💫