Welcome to Just a Minute!: The Official Companion to Britain's Best-Loved Radio Comedy

by Nicholas Parsons

The much-loved Radio 4 quiz show Just a Minute has been delighting listeners for over 46 years. According to BBC figures, 2.51 million listeners tune in every week0151—15.6% of the radio audience. The show's chairman, Nicholas Parsons, has featured in every single episode since it was first broadcast in December 1967. In this first and only official Just a Minute book, endorsed by the BBC, Nicholas will guide us through the highs and lows of Britain's longest-running radio comedy, reliving the funniest moments, re-introducing us to the exceptional panellists, old and new, genial and combative, and marvelling at the linguistic contortions that have held a captive audience for so long.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, History

464 pages, Hardcover

First published August 18, 2014

About the author

English radio and television presenter and actor; best known today for his long-standing position as host of the comedy radio game show Just a Minute since 1967.

Reviews

[Paul Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NICHOLAS: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hello. My name is Nicholas Parsons and as the Minute Waltz fades away it's my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners not only in Great Britain but also around the world. But also to welcome to this show four talented, interesting personalities who are going to display their gift with language and words as they try to speak on the subject that I give them for one minute, and they try to do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Seated on my right, two of our regular, feisty players of the game Buffy Summers, known, I’m sure, to you all as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Manny Rayner, doyen of inscrutable online book reviews and Professor of Quite Advanced Thinking at a secret institution in Switzerland. And seated on my left, two newcomers to the game, Hermione Granger, our youngest ever competitor, who I’m sure needs no further introduction from me, and Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, current President of the Russian Federation. Please welcome all four of them.

(Applause)

And the subject chosen to start off tonight’s show is How I Will Win Just A Minute. An interesting subject. Manny, will you start please. You have 60 seconds, commencing now.

MANNY : Well, it may be self-defeating if I explain precisely how I will win tonight’s Just A Minute because my fellow competitors will then instantly steal my plan.

BUZZ

NICHOLAS : Hermione has challenged.

HERMIONE: If he won’t tell us how he will win this game then he could just shut up and let someone else talk. It’s deviation. He’s deviating from the task on the card.



NICHOLAS : An excellent challenge. Hermione, you have a point and 52 seconds left for How I Will Win Just a Minute.

HERMIONE : I am an extremely logical person and I can spot the weaknesses in my fellow competitors a mile away, plus I’m a lot more popular than any of these people, I mean, for example, you won’t be seeing Buffy on the cover of Vogue any time soon –

BUZZ

NICHOLAS: And Buffy Summers has challenged.

BUFFY : Hermione, your mouth is open, and sound is coming from it. This is never good. (LAUGHTER)



NICHOLAS : But what is your challenge?

BUFFY : She’s a stuck-up dweeb who no one wants to listen to.

AUDIENCE : Ooooh

NICHOLAS : But that’s actually within the rules.

BUFFY : It is? Okay okay. I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.

MANNY : You may have come to the wrong place then. (LAUGHTER)

NICHOLAS : Hermione, you have a point for an incorrect challenge and the subject is back with you. 39 seconds left starting now.

HERMIONE : I… stuck-up dweeb?

BUZZ

NICHOLAS : President Putin has challenged.

PUTIN : Hesitation.




NICHOLAS : Yes, there was. (You sort of dried up you know.) So, Mr Putin, you have a point for a correct challenge and the subject is yours and there are 37 seconds left for How I Will Win Just A Minute.

PUTIN: I will win this game because I never hesitate, that is why I myself am President of the Russian Federation and not anyone else. Also, I never deviate from my chosen goal, ask any Crimean. And I never repeat myself. I don’t have to. I say something once and it happens. My people are very aware of this. So I think I am very good contestant for your show Just a Minute. I fully expect to be successful. I cannot be beaten by two young girls and a professor of middling years. These are not contestants who could for example wrestle with Siberian bears or ski down steep mountainsides. They are feeble. They –

WHISTLE

NICHOLAS : And President Putin gains the extra point for speaking when the whistle went at the end of the 60 seconds. And at the end of Round One Hermione and Mr Putin are in the lead with two points, and the others have yet to score. We begin Round Two with a strange subject – The Undead. Buffy, it’s your turn to begin. Could you talk on that subject for one minute starting… now.

BUFFY : I met my first undead person when I was around 11 or twelve maybe and it was immediately obvious, he had the emotional range of a spare tyre and a very poor complexion. But I know you’re going like isn’t that all 15 year old boys? Well yes it is that cannot be denied, but to be Undead is to be my mortal enemy and I get to kick your face off, which is not the case with most young persons of the male gender –

BUZZ

NICHOLAS : And Hermione has challenged.

HERMIONE : Deviation. This is so boring most of the audience are now channelling their inner undeadness. Deviation. She’s a deviant so she must be deviating.

NICHOLAS : Well, there’s nothing in the rules which says you must be interesting.

BUFFY: She’s got her wand in a knot again.

HERMIONE : (to audience) I’m this close to a straight Wingardium Leviosa. (LAUGHTER)

NICHOLAS : So you have a point and you continue with the subject The Undead and you have 35 seconds left.

BUFFY : People are quite scared of the undead but they’re just people with bad attitudes in need of a good dentist. Also they seldom have good conversation. Maybe it’s because I kick their faces off so they can’t talk –

BUZZ

MANNY : Two faces. Two people.

NICHOLAS : Oh well listened, you did say face and people twice. So Manny, you take over the subject with 36 seconds to go starting now.

MANNY : An undead is a being in mythology, legend or fiction that is deceased but behaves as if alive. A common example is a corpse re-animated by supernatural forces by the application of the deceased's own life force. Undead may be incorporeal like ghosts, or corporeal like vampires and zombies. The undead are featured in the belief systems of most cultures, and appear in many works of fantasy and horror fiction. Bram Stoker considered using the title The Un-Dead for his novel Dracula (1897), and use of the term in the novel is mostly responsible for the modern sense of the word –

BUZZ

NICHOLAS : And Hermione has challenged

HERMIONE : This is just the Wikipedia entry on the Undead which he is simply parroting.

NICHOLAS : Is that right, Manny?

MANNY : Well, possibly. I may have committed most of Wikipedia to memory, it’s just possible. It can come in useful on a show like this.

HERMIONE : So it’s plagiarism.

MANNY : There were quote marks.

HERMIONE : Quote marks?

MANNY : You couldn’t hear them. This is radio. (LAUGHTER)

HERMIONE : This is preposterous.

MANNY : Yes, it’s preposterous radio.

PUTIN : There should be an end to this banter. Please return to the task in hand.

BUFFY : He’s the chairman, not you.

PUTIN : At the moment, this is so. In future, maybe not so.

NICHOLAS : It’s an incorrect challenge. Manny, please continue with the subject, you have 9 seconds left.




MANNY : In 1932 Robert E. Cornish became interested in the idea that he could restore life to the dead. He attempted to revive human victims of heart attack, drowning, and electrocution but had no success. However, on test animals he managed to revive clinically dead dogs by injecting a mixture of epinephrine (adrenaline) and anticoagulants. –

BUZZ

BUFFY : Repetition of dead.

NICHOLAS : Yes, quite right.

MANNY : But it’s part of the subject The Undead. And you can repeat the subject.

BUFFY : Dead and Undead are two different things. I can tell you that from experience.

NICHOLAS : She’s right you know. Buffy, you have got in with only one second left on the subject, starting now.

BUFFY : All my friends are dead.

WHISTLE

NICHOLAS : So the Vampire Slayer was talking as the whistle went and gains a point. After round two the score is now Buffy Summers has taken a dramatic lead with three points and the others are neck and neck on two. So to Round Three and the subject is What I Did on my Holidays… Hermione, it’s your turn to start.

[MJ Nicholls · Rating 4 out of 5]

I once courted a woman whose (sexual) rubric mirrored that of the Radio 4 panel show Just a Minute, where comedians must speak on a topic for one minute without hesitation, repetition, or deviation. Our first sexual encounter was simple: standard missionary, performed with the passion of fresh lovers who share a mutual interest in the danse macabre and Cocteau Twins. Our second was fractious. I hesitated in contemplation of her rule, and she buzzed me out her bedroom. I was to wait a week before returning, when I launched straight into the move known among amateur kamasutrans as “wailing monkey embracing a tree”, and we achieved a thrilling mutual orgasm atop her lime-green shag carpet. No deviation of the selected move, or deviation of an ethical nature (no animal or human props permitted), was the next rule to master. I adapted with speed to this rubric, rattling through the kamasutra with haste (I was at my sexual peak at this time, aged nineteen), earning a few bedroom buzz-outs over the more complex moves, until I was forced to revert to my imagination. Feeble attempts at simultaneous headstands and backflips at full tumescence followed and the relationship reached stasis and extinction. To this day, whenever I hear the radio show Just a Minute, I am almost unbearably aroused, and reach a state of priapic delight that reinvokes those youthful swells.

[Kevin Magpoc · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy one for JAM fans to devour as it's pretty much a series of "clips" from the show, albeit in text format, strung together with facts and insights from Nicholas Parsons about the history of the show and its panelists. I was surprised to read as much "dishing" as I did, with Nicholas "telling all" as far as how certain contestants didn't get along well with the others. My nitpick is that the transcripts of the show include text like [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER], though exactly why I'm not sure. If Nicholas Parsons doesn't believe the humor will come across in print format such that he feels the need to point out what was funny, which include it in the book in the first place?

[Kexx · Rating 4 out of 5]

The perfect loo book - pick up, read half a page & off again. Very twee, British and full of humour made better if you actually picutre & hear the people quoted. Fun.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book going behind the scenes and through the decades (nearly 50 years) of this classic comedy radio show from BBC Radio 4. I'm a bit of a latecomer to the show (listening for about 5 or 6 years now) but thoroughly appreciate the comedy elements.
The book goes through the history of the show and is organised into decades (1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and 21st century) and features quotes from some of the shows and the players from each of those eras. It tells how it was slow to get off the ground and find its feet in the form in which it is played today but is also keen to emphasise that it's success has come about because it hasn't stuck to a rigid formula and has developed subtly over the years.
If you're a fan (recent or longstanding) you'd enjoy this book and the numerous anecdotes and quotes from some of the shows. If you've not heard of the show.... seek it out immediately if you appreciate good humour and mastery of the English language (and the battling for points between 4 keen players of the game).
As you'll see it was impossible to write this review without breaking the repetition rule featured in the game although hopefully I've not deviated (and any hesitation won't be noted in the written review).

[Colin Murtagh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've only discovered Just a Minute in the last couple of years. Thanks to the CD compilations I've been catching up with the shows history. So, when I saw this book, I had to grab it. This is one of those books that had me laughing out loud while reading it.
Written by chairman of the show, Nicholas Parsons, The boook goes through the history of the show, from the pilot all the way through to the present day, with chapters split by decade.
Along with all the behind the scenes talk, there are small pen portraits of most the major players. Everything is illustrated with transcripts from the original shows, and to be fair, most of them are classics.
This is where I think someone has missed a trick. As yet there's no Audiobook version. If someone was to bring one out, complete with the clips from the show, It would turn out to be one audiobook that you could just keep going back to.

[Rob Keeley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely overview of my favourite Radio 4 panel game, written by its chairman of fifty years, Nicholas Parsons (though the opening reveals a co-writer). It's a great journey through the series's history with some hilarious transcripts from the shows themselves. No one could accuse Nicholas of false modesty when it comes to assessing his own impact on the show - but this has indeed been immense, since he has not missed a single edition since 1967. Particularly interesting is the revelation that he never wanted to be chairman in the first place! The only segment that jarred a little with me related to the late Wendy Richard who, according to the book, was dropped from the panel for her "crabby" behaviour. I've heard some of her shows and didn't feel there was anything except the comedy annoyance that the male panellists were allowed to use successfully for years, notably Kenneth Williams who was far ruder than Richard ever was (though all in fun). She was apparently upset at her departure and this spoiled the book's jollity a little, for me. Overall though, it's a must-have for all fans of "Just a Minute".

[Cthonus · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny and poignant review of the history of one of the most loved radio shows. Nicholas Parsons never fails to be less than generous and warm-hearted about the guests and staff. For anyone interested in the programme this is a fascinating anecdotal history from its inception to just before his death.

[Nick Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant look behind the scenes of Just A Minute, and a reminder of Nicholas Parson's passing this year. And an even starker reminder that Just A Minute has not seen a return yet... Such a pity, such a great programme.

[Patrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would rather listen to the show.

[Matthew Fleming · Rating 5 out of 5]

Basically just clips from the show interspersed with a bit of radio history... and that's exactly why this is such a blast!

[Bolti · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent read for fans of the show

[Eamonn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant - the narration from Nicholas Parsons is perfect!

[Allison Symes · Rating 5 out of 5]

For fans of Just a Minute (JAM), this is a wonderful book. Nicholas Parsons shares his memories of the show and there are plenty of transcript snippets from the broadcast shows, featuring the classic line up of Kenneth Williams, Clement Freud, Peter Jones and Derek Nimmo. There are also great write-ups on those who've joined the show since then, including Paul Merton, Tony Hawks, Jenny Eclair to name just a few.

The book shows the changes in how the game has been played over the years and why these were brought in. It also shows the battle to keep the show on air after the sad demise of Kenneth Williams. The future of the show was by no means certain then.

I read this book and it brought back many happy memories of the shows. It is the perfect celebration and commemoration of a fantastic radio institution. I hope they can bring out something just as special for the 50th anniversary in 2017!

[John Barclay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun book for fans of the show. It gives a very upbeat and informal history of a lot of the personalities and best moments connected with the radio show. Told by the chairman himself it's as light and happy as the show that it concerns. Anyone looking for backstage tales or anything but a positive outlook should avoid this book, for the fan, it's great fun.

The best thing is the moments of insight into how the show works or the personalities behind the funniest moments in the show itself. A bit too often there are simply great moments reprinted, this is not nearly as fun as listening to the show itself though. I preferred to hear Nicholas Parsons tell about how people were when they did the show, or odd tales of shows doing things that you can't know about from just listening.

Still, as I am a huge fan, it was great fun for me.

[Steven Heywood · Rating 4 out of 5]

All good comedy includes a truth. Back in the seventies the much-loved wireless programme "The Burkiss Way" included the squib: "And as the Minute Waltz fades away, here's the man who doesn't, Nicholas Parsons." This book demonstrates that truth.

It's interesting to hear the behind-the-scenes stories and the pen portraits of some of the celebrities involved over the years. There are some really touching moments. And some of the transcriptions are truly hilarious.

[George · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant history and collection of anecdotes relating to one of the greatest radio comedy shows ever devised, Ian Messiter's "Just A Minute," written by the man who's been at the helm since day one, the marvellous Nicholas Parsons. Warm, witty, conversational and thoroughly gripping this book deserves to be devoured by anyone who's ever heard and enjoyed an edition of the show - and, quite frankly, that either is or ought to be everyone!

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a long-time JAM fan, I throughly enjoyed the tales of personalities, backstage drama and onstage humour that Nicholas Parsons has experienced over the 47+ years that he has been hosting the radio programme. Reminiscing about the inimitable Kenneth Williams and the erudite Clement Freud, admiring the fantasies of Paul Merton and the hugely elongated vowels of Graeme Norton, Parsons succeeds in demonstrating why the show has remained successful through the decades.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's one for fans of this popular radio show. Very many anecdotes much of which is written without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Unfortunately Nicholas Parsons does use a lot of repetition when he enthuses about friends. A little less hesitation should have been applied when recalling panellists fallibilities.

[Yankel Cohen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A cornucopia of joyful memories from the Chairman of this glorious panel game

Nicholas recalls prwcisely how challenging and devious the performers in this well-loved game could be. Bringing back memories and delighting us with facts and figures from the wonderful programne Just A Minute Mr Parsons shows his skill of raconteurial wit and witticisms as the whistle blows.

[Jeff Patchett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great account of "Just a Minute." Great to read the scripts and they are used to illustrate the authors point. I would however rather listen to them. I think this book lends itself more to be a talking book rather than the printed edition.

On the whole it is okay and worth a look.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty decent collection of quotes and stories

[Cherish · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely read and I enjoyed it throughly! ;)

[Angela Reeves · Rating 1 out of 5]

dull