Strum: Virgin Captive of the Billionaire Demon Rock Star Monster

The Squirm Files #2

by Cari Silverwood

This book is not just an erotic parody of all the dirty, crazy, squishy things that happen in romances, it also pokes fun at that monolithic labyrinth of books, that starts with A and ends with Zon. If you don't know what that is, I have a bridge to sell you.

When a stag party goes terribly wrong, Virginia Chaste loses her memory of all the best bits of her fiancé, Karl whatsisface. She awakens with her tongue stuck to the castle floor, a suspicion that someone kissed her, a missing fiancé, and no idea what will happen next. Luckily Dangerous Bob can show her the way.

All she has to do is join Zagan Grimm, rock star and demon, he of the radioactive cock, to retrieve the ultimate sex book, the Necrosexi-texmexicon, from the depths of the Zon, then she can get her fiancé back, even if she'd rather sell his castle and make a million dollars.

Then she absolutely has to remember not to have a spectacular, tentacular ménage with Zagan and Karl whatsisface.

With so many things to remember, Virginia may forget the last one.

Yes, a big, fat warning to all those with pristine, well-vacuumed minds: Here Be Tentacles.

Genres: Menage, Erotica, M F M, Paranormal Romance, Humor, Paranormal, Fantasy

112 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 20, 2014

About the author

Cari Silverwood lives in Australia and is a New York Times bestselling writer of kinky darkness or sometimes dark kinkiness, depending on her moods and the amount of time she's spent staring into the night.

Check out this page to avoid falling into the wrong dark and shocking book, because she really does write some weird stories: www.carisilverwood.net/my-books-liste...

Sign up to get sales and new releases plus various odd stuff she puts into it (and a free welcome book) at www.carisilverwood.net/

You can reach Cari at carisilverwood1@gmail.com
or
on Facebook at www.facebook.com/cari.silverwood

Reviews

[Cécile Smits · Rating 5 out of 5]

After Squirm,i knew i had to prepare for more weirdness.
But Strum still got to me,and left me squirming even more!
Can i survive another story like this?
That’s the million dollar question......

When Virginia wakes up after the stagparty,she seems to have lost the plot.
Good thing Dangerous Bob is still with her to fill in the blanks.
And to tell her what to do....
Because the man she is supposed to marry,Karl...uhm...(What was his name again?) is missing along with the Sea Wolves.
A book,the Necrosexi-texmexicon,is responsible and they have to find it.
And the one to help them,is a demon rockstar,called Zagan Grimm.
Thát means trouble for Virginia,because he needs her to “sacrifice” herself to get his powers going first.
The things a girl has to do to get her forgotten fiancé back.....damn!
After she “sacrifices” herself to Zagan,he’s able to locate the whereabouts of the book.
They pick up the other members of the band (what is it with the weirdness of these guys?) and head off to the Zon.

According to Bob,
*Copies of all the books in existence are at the Zon. Plus Lawn ornaments. Movies. Sex toys. The Zon is a dangerous place. If the Necrosexi-texmexicon makes it to the heart of the Zon, the world may cease to exist as it is now.*

What happens at the Zon,is indescribable.
Trust me,it is.
What goes on there,is beyond belief,and weird as fuck.
Books “live” there,and Virginia and her merry band of weirdo’s have to enter actual stories to find the Necrosexi-texmexicon!
And what they have to do,once they locate it?
You’ll have to read thát for yourself!

A word of warning though....you will experience a lot of squirming whilst reading Strum and a lot of PMSL!

(P.S. The deserted Netherlands dóes have many wondrous things that may or may not have been banished by the mighty Zon,and we cherish them all!)

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

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WOW!! Be prepared to laugh so hard you cry when reading this book. It is absolutely one of the funniest, quick reads that I have ever read. It is a parody, so be prepared for all the clichés when it comes to romance books and the erotic scenes that are involved. However, this book will pull you in from the very first laugh and keep you turning the page to see what is going to happen next.

In Strum, we get another installment of the Squirm Files with Virginia Chaste. It has all the clichés, the hilarious sidekick, the whatisface fiancé, and the other guy trying to catch the heroines attention (Demon rock star), and the bad guy trying to end the world (evil book).

Cari Silverwood is an amazing writer who creates some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. She grabs the reader’s attention and takes them on one entertaining ride, which will have them coming back again and again.

***I was given a free copy in exchange for an honest review.***

[Bubbles The Book Pimp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part two in this series... the parody of teasing this time... is multiple....Billionare Demon Rockstars!!!

After waking up engaged, but suffering from amnesia.. Virginia and dangerous bob must rescue Karl and the sea wolves from the Neveosexi-texmexicon... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 with the aid of a Zagan a billionaire demon rock star and his fellow band members!! If radioactive bj’s, mass groupie on demon book orgies and attachable peens are your thing then THIS is the book for you!! 😈😈

Cari silverwood is my Shero! For this passage alone!! I may have laughed so much I peed!!

Copies of all the books in existence are at the Zon. Plus Lawn ornaments. Movies. Sex toys. The Zon is a dangerous place. If the Necrosexi-texmexicon makes it to the heart of the Zon, the world may cease to exist as it is now.

[Shandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

My spleen ALSO fainted.

Dear. God.

Cari Silverwood is going to get me arrested, lobotomized -They're coming to take me away, ha ha! They're coming to take me away, hee hee!-, or lynch-mobbed for general acts of reading-induced hysteria.

Seriously. I will read this series forever. I was laughing at the beginning with the amnesia (convenient-much?) and I was completely insensible by the time I got to the Purgatory concert complete with dino-porn jokes. EVERYONE should laugh at dino-porn. It's worth laughing at even if one is never brave/insane/somethingelseentirely enough to read it for oneself.

Karl Whatshisname really should have looked out for that Necrosexi-texmexicon since, c'mon, that just SOUNDS evil, right? Plus? Without Ash Williams around to defeat it (or Asmodeus, since we all know he could totes handle it), he's just asking to be thrown tentacles-first into the Zon. Duh.

I swear, if you think you're on acid reading this review? I'm stone-cold sober, feel as if I'm tripping monkey balls, and want to read it again because it was that awesome of a trip.

Five stars have never been so easy to give! Way to go, Virginia Chaste! You're my favorite female protagonist ever since I completely envy your mental prowess with sizing up the competition! I swear, if I were to ever go to the Zon? I'd totally need to take you with me because it sounds exactly like the Weird Part of Amazon I somehow manage to find myself in after spending too much time on Tumblr.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

First things first, this is a parody. Relax, enjoy and laugh! Laugh enough along with the author that you might need a diaper in case you wet yourself.

Strum is more of a continuation of Virginia Chaste’s story from Squirm and although I would highly recommend reading it first, this can standalone.
Cari Silverwood manages to inject humor into so many stereotypes and clichés into this story that it is a non-stop rollercoaster of fun.

“Bitch author. Oops. Think pretty thoughts, think pretty, non-incriminating thoughts.”

Amazing writing that pulls you in for the journey with a tentacle alien fiancé, a sex demon rock star, books that comes to life, a sidekick that does construction work naked to prove a romance novel male can indeed hammer nails and we can’t forget the “virgin” Virginia Chaste.

“Even if her panties were damper than a swamp full of alligators in monsoon season, she was still outraged.”
Crazy lines, wild stories and just a fun must read!

[Ruthie Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I received a free copy of this book to read and review for Wicked Reads."

This is the sequel to Squirm and the action takes off from the moment you start reading. Although we had no idea that there was a cliffhanger at the end of Squirm, one has been created. Not only has her tentacled MC fiancé been taken into another dimension, she seems to have forgotten that he even existed. In comes the impossibly gorgeous rock star demon to save the day ...

This book is so jam packed full of clever one liners that Ms Silverwood may have been destined for the comedy circuit for intellectual erotica fans ... Hmmm guess they haven't started one of those yet - well this is the next best thing. What would be wonderful is an audio book version.

Ps loved the Terry Pratchett tribute

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book to read and review for Wicked Reads.

I love it when an author takes everything you love about a book or genre and turns it upside down. This book so funny and amazing. I devoured it in one setting.

I can't wait to see where Virgina exploits takes us next.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a hilarious parody of various erotic storylines. Sex demons, tentacles and the poor virgin that is being held captive. That is just the tip of the iceberg. The story is entertaining and funny and I hope there will be more to follow. Plenty OMG sex and burst out loud laughing. Enjoy!

[Angi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a awesome and funny parody. I can't make up my mind which is hotter...Karl or Zagan. I did love how Cari made it fun to read with lots to laugh about plus managed to give the MC's a happy ending.

[Marianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I think we've covered just about every trope there is in UF, PNR, erotica etc;-)
Not as funny as the first one, but hey, I got invested in the demon/squid romance, so I had to know how it ended. Don't judge me. (LOL)

[★Winter★ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this, but it wasn't as funny as the first book.

[Tia Thomas-Blakey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. this was sooo unexpected, but good, loved it. Awesome. Tentacles are something i won't look at the same again, lol

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The second book in this novela series was just as fun as the first. The tongue in cheek inner (and outer) dialog and all around buffoonery made for a quick and fun read. “Asbestos or lead-lined panties might be a good buy next time she visited Walmart.” What delighted me was that even in the midst of all the goofiness, Cari still managed to infuse intense sexual allure and satisfaction for the MCs (and reader, I confess). “Their tongues dueled like a pair of the three musketeers doing sword practice. En guard. Riposte. Parry.” “She could get a job putting out fires she was that wet.”The fact that there was a mystery to solve and a mission to accomplish made it all the more motivating to read. I pictured Michelle Randolph from Landman as the young virginal blonde, Virginia. These little stories are so fun and witty. I thoroughly enjoyed them. I look forward to the third and final one.

[1-Click Addict Support Group · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cari Silverwood, oh woman, I love the way your mind works. After reading Squirm last month I fully admit I am indeed a tentacle pervert.

You know all those romance novel cliches? Well Cari takes all of those and mixes them up with wit and humor and flips them on their head. I don't think anyone else can write a billionaire demon rock star monster. Yes, no commas, he is all of the aforementioned. Oh and he has radioactive spunk, I shit you not.

If you want something light and fun that will make you laugh your ass off this is the book for you. Keep in mind it is an erotic parody. So there is some kinky fuckery going on, but it's definitely worth the read.

Keep 'em coming Cari! Can't wait to see what that brilliant mind of yours comes up with next!

~ Erin, 4 Dino Dicks

There are a lot of tropes in romance. So many, in fact, that I've often considered the merits creating a drinking game based around them. Someone says "You're mine", take a shot. Someone declares "It's so big, is it going to fit?" Take a shot. Get it? What appealed to me about Strum was that it was the literary version of my drinking game. A parody that takes all my favourite things (let's be honest, they're tropes because they're popular and fun) and takes the piss out of them... That equals fun, at least in my book.

When we left Virginia Chaste at the end of Squirm, she'd become a *giggles* full-blown tentacle pervert, falling for the billionaire biker, Karl, and ending her quest for the elusive ten inch, purple headed schlong. At least, that's what we thought.... When she wakes up unconscious after a stag party disaster, her fiancé Karl is missing and she doesn't remember him or his mating tentacle. In order to bring him back, she must team up with Zagan Grimm - rockstar, billionaire, sex demon - to hunt out the Necrosexi-texmexicon. It's a hunt of epic proportions. Virginia just needs to avoid having horny demon sex with Zagan. As if that's possible...

I was so looking forward to this book and after the first few pages, I was already picking out my favourite silly quotes. Strum was quite different from Squirm - which is still one of the funniest books I've ever read. That's ok though, I still enjoyed it. It was, perhaps, not as laugh-out-loud funny but it definitely gave me some decent chuckles and some amazing visuals. I was thrilled to see the return of Dangerous Bob and his fuckitty-grr language and loved spotting the breaks in the fourth wall that Cari Silverwood threw in. All in all, I'd say that Strum was a successful follow-up to a hilarious book. Now, how do I explain to the husband that I got drunk reading a book?

Strum is the sequel to Squirm. No cliffhanger.

~ Beth, 4 stars

[Simply Love Book Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

KcLu‘s review posted on Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews

3.75 STARS

I have to say after reading Squirm, I really looked forward to see where Cari could take us next. Strum is the sequel, and has Virginia dealing with not only memory issues but a missing fiancé (she can’t remember) and a sex demon she would like to climb like a tree. She is on a mission with Dangerous Bob and the sex demon Zagan to retrieve the ultimate sex book, the Necrosexi-termexicon from the deep depths of the Zon.
I am absolutely a fan of these parody type movies and books. I grew up watching the classics like Hot Shots and Naked Gun. Cari has given us a book that lives up to that greatness. While this one doesn’t have as much humor as Squirm did, this book leads us on an adventure into the evil Zon. I can’t recommend this book and series enough!! I really hope Cari gives us a book three, because I would read it in a heartbeat!!!

[Dar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was better than the first, I really enjoyed it!

We have our wonderful spoof continue where the previous left off, and what a wild ride we go on, with our authour even making some appearances!

This is a fun romp with all sorts of crazy characters pieces together from any and all tropes in our erotic/romance world!

[Beth Livingston · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am one of the vacuumed minds from above. I read this book for a review and I am sad to say it's me who did not only for myself but for the book and author.
In Strum Virginia wakes up with amnesia on her wedding day without a fiance and loss of memory. Can Virginia do what is necessary to find Karl? Will her memory return? What about the doubts Virginia has of Karl and is his schlong is the required 10 inches?
If you are looking for a crazy out of this world read go pick this one it just wasn't for me.