Lights! Camera! Mayhem!

The Chronicles of St Mary's #14.6

by Jodi Taylor, Zara Ramm (Narrator)

Coming to a screen near you...

TEMPORA, THE TIME TRAVELLING TOURIST

Starring Astrid Gustafsson as Helen of Troy - 'the face that launched a thousand ships' (Homer)

With Dirk Thrust as Achilles - 'demi god and hero' (Homer)

And the Wooden Horse as Himself - 'easily the least wooden performance from anyone participating in this particular travesty' (Dr Maxwell)

Watch and weep as this epic tale unfolds...

It's drama, darling! In this year's festive tale, the nation's favourite film producer, Calvin Cutter, returns to darken the doors of St Mary's once again...

Genres: Time Travel, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction, Historical Fiction, Audiobook

3 pages, Audiobook

First published December 25, 2024

About the author

Jodi Taylor is the internationally bestselling author of the Chronicles of St Mary's series, the story of a bunch of disaster prone individuals who investigate major historical events in contemporary time. Do NOT call it time travel! She is also the author of the Time Police series - a St Mary's spinoff and gateway into the world of an all-powerful, international organisation who are NOTHING like St Mary's. Except, when they are.

Alongside these, Jodi is known for her gripping supernatural thrillers featuring Elizabeth Cage together with the enchanting Frogmorton Farm series - a fairy story for adults.

Born in Bristol and now living in Gloucester (facts both cities vigorously deny), she spent many years with her head somewhere else, much to the dismay of family, teachers and employers, before finally deciding to put all that daydreaming to good use and write a novel. Over twenty books later, she still has no idea what she wants to do when she grows up.

Reviews

[Trish · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a Christmas tradition by now to read a St. Mary's short story on / shortly after Christmas every year.

This time, it's a little less festive and much more hectic. Because the film people are back. Yep, Mr. Cutter and his bunch of inaccurate writers need St. Mary's help once again. The problem? Apart from them being absolute morons, I mean? Someone of St. Mary's has taken an actress to Troy and ... lost her then/there.

I did have a bit of a problem considering that we've had novels with people being stranded and them not having been able to go back for them for timey-wimey paradox reasons. Here, it was no problem. *miffed*

Nevertheless, the story was funny and quirky even though R&D barely featured at all, we know these people inside-out which makes reading such a story extra cozy, and Zara Ramm's narration is just perfection as usual.

So, all in all, a very nice way to spend a Christmas-y afternoon.

[Kate O'Shea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've not got quite this far in the series so I'm wondering a few things about personnel but I'll leave that for when I'm caught up. I do enjoy these "Christmas" outings (nothing Christmassy about this one) because they're short, usually funnier than the novels and I often don't shout at audio Max until she really starts to procrastinate - and she will - a lot.

This episode introduces us to the film industry that uses St Mary's expertise in order to make their movies more realistic. Or, in Calvin Cutter's case, listen to the advice and then completely ignore it.

Astrid Gustaffson is the tall, blonde actress/goddess who Adrian falls for and decides to take her to Troy, where her next adventure is set. Unfortunately he forgets the basic rule - not to lose your passenger and don't lose them at a pivotal point of the Trojan War and definitely don't lose them when you never got permission to take them in the first place.

Mayhem obviously ensues as a depleted team go to rescue her. It's funny in parts. There's not enough Markham (there never is). The funniest bits include badly behaved animals. And we get to (sort of) bump into a couple of Greek heroes.

Worth a listen.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

The yearly Christmas St Mary's novella! I was wonderful to return to Troy and look fondly on Max's first big jump. And this time we have a famous actress, some climbing goats and a whole heap of trouble. This is more Christmas adjacent than Christmassy but I loved the nostalgia of it. If anything could have done with a little less of the recaps and more of the story. Otherwise loved it.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

In the Chronicles of St. Mary's, rarely do we have the pleasure of returning to a specific time in history that Dr. Maxwell has previously visited. For obvious reasons. This time, it just happens to work out due to a seriously misguided filmmaker, a mischievous love-struck teenager, and a very angry eagle.

It didn't necessarily feel like a Christmas story that we've come to expect, and it didn't have the dream team of Max, Markham, and Peterson. Those were my two very minor complaints. Despite this, it did add to the series overall and is well worth the read.

5.0 —One of the best I've ever read. Will be burned into my brain. Couldn't care less about weaknesses (if any). Would recommend to everyone and their mother.
4.5 —Loved this read. Will remember it fondly. Few weaknesses. Would recommend to anyone.
▌4.0 —Enjoyed this read. Will remember it fondly. Minor weaknesses. Would recommend to fans of the genre.
3.5 —Somewhat enjoyed this read. Might be memorable. Notable weaknesses. Would recommend to fans of the genre.
3.0 —Somewhat enjoyed this read. Not very memorable. Notable weaknesses. Would recommend to people who like similar books.
2.5 —Neutral or Underwhelming read. Not very memorable. Significant weaknesses. Would recommend to people who like similar books.
2.0 —Underwhelming or unenjoyable read. Not very memorable or memorable for the wrong reasons. Significant weaknesses. Might recommend to people who like similar books.
1.5 —Unenjoyable read. Not very memorable or memorable for bad reasons. Major weaknesses. Probably wouldn't recommend.
1.0 —I wish I never wasted minutes of my life on this trash. I would go out of my way to convince others not to read it.

[Dustin (dragonarmybooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Same review as my friend, Alicia, quite honestly.

I love St. Mary's. In my eyes, there's very little that Jodi Taylor can do wrong. This is a quaint little end-of-year story that we typically get from Jodi on Christmas Day, but this is the first one to have nothing to do with Christmas. Which is honestly not that bad. We've been there and done that a lot already with the likes of Christmas Present, Christmas Past, and Christmas Pie ... one of these is not like the other.

Definitely read The Ballad of Smallhope and Pennyroyal before this one if you want the warm fuzzies at the end of this silly story featuring a return to ancient Troy, an actress who thankfully knows her part, and one angry eagle.

Did I say I love St. Mary's? Because I really, really do.

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the tradition of Jodi Taylor Christmas Short Story. This year I read by the fireplace while drinking a margherita in honor of Max.


Next Christmas I'd like to reread all the holiday short stories.

[Charlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another wonderful adventure with St Mary's!

[Sara Gabai · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful

reread July 2025 still good

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Calvin Cutter is back to disregard all the advice the Historical Institute of St Mary's gives him on his next film. This time though he brought his two main actors. The female lead would much rather see the actual historical events than CC's overblown historically inaccurate fiction and she might just get a chance to do so. But with all pods and most of the staff at the remote site things might get hairy.

Loved the story and loved Zara Ramm's narration. I wish the story had been longer.

[Tracy Smyth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not quite the traditional Christmas story, but being St Mary’s all things are not what they seem. Bri g in a film crew to make a movie about the fall of Troy (they do want to change the story). Next comes along the female lead, a smitten young lad who borrows a pod, takes starlet to Troy, loses starlet, then needs Max’s help to get starlet back. Being typical St Mary’s all does not go smoothly.

[Jan Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious

My Xmas is not complete without a St Mary's story, this one doesn't disappoint. A mad movie director, a murderous eagle and the usual chaos, all managed (sort of) by the usual team. 😁

[Joanne Cowie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

Always love a bit of Troy and such an amazing closing (or opening) of a circle. It made me punch the air!

[Kelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Back to Troy. Delightful

[Karsyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my favorite St Mary's but still an enjoyable romp.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

As good as ever!

[Sharon Durant · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and sweet. I haven't read any of the others, so didn't get any of the in-jokes, but it didn't matter particulary.

[Bram · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great little St Mary's story, as always. Never fails to entertain.

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny, clever plot, but if history and great banter.

[Annika Lentso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Still love this series. Have read for several times and will do that again. Love the humour and action. Just love it.

[Jacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Calvin Cutter, film maker extraordinaire, returns to St Mary’s to make a new series of Tempora the Time Travelling Tourist, and Max is tasked with babysitting Astrid Gustafssen, the series star. What could possibly go wrong? Well, for starters Adrian, one of the teapot time travelling siblings, takes Astrid to Troy, and loses her. Unfortunately most of St Mary’s staff were in Troy at that time, so since you can’t go back to a time you’ve already visited, only Max, Markham, Adrian and Evans can form a search party and both Max and Markham will die at midnight if they don’t get out of Troy before their younger selves arrive. No pressure then. And while they’re at it they encounter Odysseus and Diomedes on a secret mission to steal the Palladium which ultimately leads to the fall of Troy. Once again, history hangs in the balance. I love Jodi Taylor's St Mary's books. I'd prefer another full length novel but in the meantime this short story will do very nicely.

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful story!

As is usual with anything written by Jodi Taylor, this book was full of fun, frolics, fascinating side journeys, and a situation, once again, that must make poor Dr Barstow feel full of frustrations at times!

Admittedly all of these things are really just part and parcel of the Director of St Mary's, daily life, while also also being full of frantic last minute planning which, once again, for St Mary's and its crew, is an everyday occurance! Lol

I absolutely loved this return trip to Troy and, even though it didn't see have a Christmas theme, was just as full of the same joi de vivre that every other St Mary's story is wont to have.

I'm looking forward to seeing Astrid Gustafsson in future books, and can't wait to see how she fits in with all the others serving there - and exactly how the men will adjust to her presence, or not, as the case may be! Lol

Now that I've, very sadly, finished this book, I'm going to go straight on to Michael Anderle, and Sarah Noffke's, of course newly released book, in her 'The First Beaufont' series release, which is at Book Eight: 'The Revolutionary Rider'.

I absolutely LOVE the Beaufont family and, this close to this particular series' ending, I can't wait to see how Gen Beaufont will work out what to do next, when prescription drugs are suddenly becoming a deluge throughout all levels of society!

I'll be starting to read this tomorrow, as I'm absolutely exhausted, and need to catch up on my sleep, but, once I've finished it, I'll catch you on the flip side, to let you know what I think of this long running series but, especially, THIS book! Lol

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Welcome to the annual Christmas Present from Jodi Taylor, her Christmas short story. Except that it isn’t Christmas and it’s not festive but it’s still very readable. The team from St Mary’s are having quite a peaceful time (well for them anyway) When Dr Bairstow announces the imminent arrival of Calvin Cutter the famous (or is that infamous) film producer, who wants to work with the team on his latest epic about Helen of Troy. With the exception of a handful of staff, the pods, the archives and anything remotely time travel related is packed off to the St Mary’s secure site, whilst the remaining team members look after Calvin and the crew which includes his beautiful leading lady Astrid. When the actress turns out not to be the airhead that she portrays on film it isn’t long before Mikey gets to the idea to whizz her back to Troy in the one remaining pod so she can see how much (or how little ) Calvin’s version of history matches the true events) Of course it all goes wrong and a rescue mission has to be executed….but…how can Max and Markham return to a time they have already visited? Their past selves are due to turn up in Troy at Midnight. Can they go back and find Astrid and rescue her before their past selves arrive and History makes them pay the ultimate price? What can possibly go wrong?

[F. C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a Christmas Story

Jodi Taylor (human, not AI) provides us with a St. Mary’s story every year at Christmas time, and normally Christmas itself is mentioned at some point. This year’s is different, being apparently unrelated to anything to do with the birth of Christ.

That could have to do with the fact that much of the story takes place well before that first Christmas. It’s important to remember that St. Mary’s is a scholarly institution whose historians observe and document major historical events in contemporary time. Note the phrasing. That description says 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 about time travel, and any mention of time travel will be vigorously denied.

In any case, this story largely takes place in the about-to-fall city of Troy, some 12 or 13 centuries before Jesus was born. It features, in addition to Max, Evans, and the ever-stalwart Markham, the Goddess Athena, a crazed golden eagle, a beautiful movie star, old animal corpses, Odysseus, and small flock of Trojan drop goats. In other words, just another day at St. Mary’s.

‘Computer, initiate jump.’
‘Jump initiated.’
And the world went white.

Highly recommended, as it the entire canon of St. Mary’s novels and stories.

[Dee Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

IMAGE: THE GREEK GODDESS OF WISDOM, ATHENA

Max et al must venture--again--to ancient Troy, this time, to rescue a famous actress. Things get complicated because they have only until midnight, when Time will destroy them because they will have been in the same place and time TWICE--contrary to physics. Luckily, or unluckily, for them, the missing 6-foot tall blonde beauty with blue eyes has been mistaken for the goddess Athena. (Nobody in either Troy OR Greece was tall, blonde, or blue-eyed. And the actress plays the role with aplomb!)

They'll also stumble upon murderous Odysseus and heroic Diomedes under cover of dark, trying to steal the ancient wooden statue of the goddess, historically known as the Palladium, whose protection, according to legend, guarantees Troy cannot fall.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Never underestimate the speed and savagery with which the religiously devout can turn on those not deemed to be religious and devout enough." True then, still true.

Because they're St. Mary's Time historians, of course everything will go horribly wrong before it goes right. Bring on the Sonic Scream!

Gotta read Jodi Taylor at least once a year, to keep your chuckles in tune.

[Mr D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Making It All Look Effortlessly Brilliant ! ** NO SPOILERS **

Join the team at St Mary’s for another truly epic workplace incident.

The setting St Mary’s not long before Christmas, the disaster (but not the incident) is the arrival of Calvin (“CC”) Cutter and a film crew all set to work on an epic blockbuster film about ‘The Fall of Troy’ and an unlikely time travelling Nordic beauty in improbable clothing. It’s all set to be a stunning remake of the demise of Troy, naturally it won’t bear any resemblance to the original events or even any previous retelling unless of course you disregard the fact that CC’s going to use the same names of said era.

This novella is an exercise in the sheer brilliance and beauty that is St Mary’s. It’s an absolute joy to read. I’ve had this book on order for months and was well worth every minute. If you’re new to the concept of witnessing major historical events in contemporary time, get book 1 right now!! If you’re already a fan then carry on…

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars!!!

OMG - I *love* the annual Christmas tale of St. Mary's! It usually surprises me by "dropping" into my Kindle books, because I always pre-purchase it months in advance.

This one does NOT fail! I was reading it during Christmas, which in my family, began at Christmas Breakfast and went into the late afternoon for Christmas Dinner. In-between my various duties and all the activities, I was READING THIS BOOK... AND LAUGHING OUT LOUD! So much so, that my family kept asking me what was so funny! And that just put me into another bout of giggles, because it's almost impossible to explain these books unless you know these wacky characters and the even wackier situations they're capable of putting themselves into and (almost) always getting themselves out of!

The "sprayed on" silver suit reminded me a bit of the "fuchsia disco-ball jumpsuit" in "The Lost City" - ha ha!

If you're a fan of the St. Mary's Chronicles and you haven't read this book yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

[Liisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are no words for how much I love the Chronicles of St Mary’s (and Time Police) series—I pre-order every new release and devour it as soon as possible. Jodi Taylor's Christmas specials are always a festive treat, and Lights! Camera! Mayhem! is no exception.

This time, Hollywood meets time travel as the ever-infuriating Calvin Cutter returns to St Mary’s, bringing with him a level of chaos that would make even the Time Police nervous. The result? A truly catastrophic attempt at historical filmmaking, featuring a Helen of Troy who may or may not have actually launched a thousand ships, a wooden horse giving the performance of a lifetime, and an Achilles with all the subtlety of a brick.

As always, it’s an absolute riot—packed with the usual St Mary’s mix of sharp wit, historical mishaps, and total mayhem. If you love this series, you’ll love this instalment. And if you don’t love this series… well, clearly you haven’t read it yet!

Five stars, a barrel of popcorn, and a heartfelt plea for more, please!

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jodi Taylor's Christmas short stories are always such a treat!

This time we are back at St. Mary's. (At least one year the short story was a Time Police story. Not this year.)

St. Mary's has a new contract with an internationally known TV show about time travel. The show does not care in the least about historical accuracy. Instead, this show has its main female star save the day in each episode, in spectacular fashion no less!

(Yes, of course the TV show contract happened because St. Mary's is always desperately in need of money. The TV people pay well. Most of St. Mary's is safely secluded at the alternate site.)

And one of St. Mary's resident wild cards, Adrian (of Adrian & Mikey) is a major player this time.

Everything goes wrong fairly quickly in typical St. Mary's fashion and the delightful story is about how Max and her team do their best to accomplish the mission, nevertheless.

[Tomer · Rating 4 out of 5]

The whole series is filled with twists and turns all over the sacred timeline, which is repeatedly challenged by various incursions may they be tailored or intentional with various ramifications, which we are not always fully aware of. As always it is quite witty and for the longest parts, any emerging disaster is handled on the same book of its inception. Throughout most of the books, there is a similar pattern \ formula to follow and though the protagonists are highly discouraged with describing it as "time-travel"... it is and it may carry with it a multitude of paradoxes along with entangling \ branching timelines not always in order, which can make some of the plots to be quite challenging. Not all events have a happy ending {in the series} and some characters had departed in a semi \ permanent fashion. In the various short stories there are various forays into more unique options not limited to time.. which can always be further explored. It follows both sci-fi and fantasy elements turning it into a most enjoyable and quirky read..
Will there be further installment, after clearing up the remnants of the main-arc, we can only hope...

[Emily M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't laugh out loud as I have with some St Mary's Christmas short stories, but I definitely grinned several times.

Listen, Smallhope and Pennyroyal have not yet fulfilled their full potential in the St Mary's universe, but I do remember thinking upon meeting them that all we needed was a time-traveling aristocrat bounty hunter and her butler partner. What I should have realized was that St Mary's was incomplete without a six-foot Nordic actress with more than usual sangfroid in the face of kidnapping (and deification).

I sort of missed the Peterson/Max/Markham Christmas shenanigans, but I do think Evans and Astrid were a great addition to my favorite middle aged time traveling duo. Loved getting back to Troy and meeting Odysseus. Of course he was a weasel! I felt like this series was losing steam, but this story gives me hope for the next book.